104 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 11-18-17”

  5. Do you people realize that it’s Saturday?
    Back to bed. sleepy head.
    I’m going over to the church for breakfast with the men this morning.
    Elvera will just have to suffer through a bowl of Cheerios.

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  6. I slept a long time for me. I was completely exhausted. I came back from NC sick, but had to hit the ground running. Two nights I was in Pensacola from 8 am until 8:30 pm and one night until 7pm, then a long drive home. Yesterday I had our company leadership retreat at my friend’s cottage on the Bay. My friend M catered it for us.
    Today I start cooking. I have to make the cornbread for Thanksgiving dinner. It works better if it is made several days ahead. I also volunteered last night when I took dinner to my friend’s R & L to make their Thanksgiving sides again this year, so whatever I make for us I will make for them. L is going through another round of cancer treatment. She was asleep when I got there at 6. Their daughter was in town and will be back next week. For the first time R looked discouraged. He thanked me for the offer and said that would be a huge help to him. To complicate matters L’s mom and dad have been at MD Anderson in Houston all month. Her dad has a cancerous brain tumor that they continue to treat and this time he hasn’t recovered from surgery as quickly as he has in the past. Can you imagine L’s poor mother? She is in Houston with her husband while her child is battling cancer her without her. It left me heartbroken last night.
    I also told R that after we got Thanksgiving done I would come put up their Christmas tree like I did last year.

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  7. Going to watch oldest granddaughter play soccer today in a statewide tournament. I think it is part of the Show-Me Games that Missouri has every year. I just didn’t know they had games for 7-10-year-olds. Problem is, it’s raining and windy. I hope it’s indoors!

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  8. Raining and windy here too. It would be a nice day to stay curled up inside, but besides laundry I also have to do shopping, take my son to pick up product for his band fundraiser, and this evening I’m going out with a group of friends from our book club at the library to see a performance of The Uninvited (we just read the novel last month, now we get to see it on the stage – it will be interesting to see how ghosts are portrayed). My husband has two funerals today (though I think he’s only officiating at one of them), plus preparing for another one on Tuesday. (Three in a week is not at all typical, but things happen…)

    Good news this week was that the contractor’s insurance is going to pay for damage made to our basement wall this summer, which has caused leaking over the past few months. Bad news is that the car insurance payment for my husband’s car (which they decided to total) is considerably less than what we owe on it, in part because of hail damage this summer which he had not gotten fixed because it was just cosmetic. And now there is damage to my car also (which he is driving while I drive the rental car paid for by the insurance), because of something he apparently hit while driving through the construction zone between here and his churches (same area where he ran over something that damaged his car so badly.

    So overall, a difficult week. He asked if I was going to the second funeral today, after taking care of the fundraiser stuff, but frankly I’m not keen on driving through the construction zone more than I have to, after the problems he has been having there. I try to get to the funerals if it doesn’t mean missing work (and sometimes I take time off work if it’s someone I knew), even if I don’t know the people (which is usually the case, as they tend to be older people who have been shut-ins for years), but today I’m more inclined to focus on getting my usual Saturday work done before the play this evening. And somehow between everything (basement, cars, other issues at church, and now the weather, I just don’t feel very energetic at all today.

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  9. Yikes. That’s a lot, Pauline.

    I was so tired I went to bed at 8 o’clock, woke at midnight and read for a couple hours, before falling asleep again until 6:30.

    Or, as I explained to my husband, “I took a break in the middle of sleeping.”

    I keep thinking I’m trying to catch up on all the sleep I’ve mixed over the last year mixed with the continuing response to our October excitement. I attended a discussion about grief and trauma at the PCC on Monday night and they basically confirmed exhaustion, inability to concentrate and general malaise are all signs of PTS (no D, I’m not depressed).

    But they were so affirming, pretty much all our complaints could be traced back to October–and then they prayed with anyone who needed them to.

    They were from Crisis Response International, one of the women had just returned from Puerto Rico–where things continue grim. 😦

    https://criout.com/about/

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  10. Pauline, that sounds quite tough, and I’m sorry.

    It’s gloomy and rainy here, too. We have a baby shower I sort of should go to, but I have plenty to do at home, and ended up not arranging my transportation since I wasn’t sure I would be able to go, and now I’m glad I didn’t plan to go. (It’s a long way away, in another state actually, and I was going to see if one of my daughters is going and I could go with her so I could leave my husband the car. But with editing to do and with something else going on today, potentially, it seemed like enough.)

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  11. Took a quick break from working on my enormous research paper (OK, it’s only ten pages long, but that seems enormous, though the research is enormously interesting) in order to check where the back-to-work legislation is in the legislature. Initial reports were incorrect that the opposition party could block the meeting of the legislature over the weekend, they just could block the swift passage of the bill, and they are. The half a million college students that are affected by all this are getting a front row seat of just how public service management and unions and provincial legislatures work or rather, do not work. This editorial sums up just how the lack of flexibility on all side has stymied this strike since before it started: https://www.thestar.com/news/queenspark/2017/11/17/when-students-are-the-only-adults-in-the-room-cohn.html. As the editorial notes, the only people who showed a mature flexibility were the students themselves. Considering there are half a million of us, there has been no rioting in the streets and only a couple of incidents of impatient drivers at picket lines causing injuries. It looks as though I will again not be doing clinical this coming Monday, but, Lord willing, I will be back in my elective class on Thursday. At this point, how I will make up the lost clinical hours is, according to the administrators, still being looked at.

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  12. Continuing our “dishes” discussion: what do you use for company serving dishes (e.g., they match your plates, they don’t match your plates but they’re color coordinated or they don’t clash, or you don’t worry about serving dishes but only have company dishes–or you don’t even have company dishes)? Also, whether you go elsewhere for a holiday or people come to you . . . when people take food to a holiday gathering, do they use nice serving dishes or what is practical (e.g., nonbreakable dishes with lids for cold stuff, Tupperware for hot stuff)?

    Growing up, we didn’t have such a thing as company dishes. We had a company leaf to the table, though. We had a table with two or three leaves, and as my brothers moved away, we removed one or two leaves, and put them back in for the holidays. When I was a little girl, we had company glasses–colorful glass glasses with real gold around the rim. Through the years, one by one they broke, and the gold faded off all of them, and I think we finally threw away the last few when there weren’t enough left to be useful.

    Because I know so many picky people, most of my company dishes are served buffet style, and they can take what they want and leave what they don’t want. Several of those meals I serve the “toppings” out of a deep round plastic divided serving dish with six compartments around the outside and one in the middle. There is also a dish that fits in the middle that has its own lid, and the whole thing has a locking lid. It isn’t fancy, and it is plastic, but it’s the right size and it works well for its intended purpose. And it isn’t beat up or cheap plastic.

    For family holidays (sometimes at my sister-in-law’s and sometimes at my mother-in-law’s–we don’t have a dining room and our eat-in kitchen can only seat five), usually I get asked to bring the boring old veggie tray. So of course I take the serving tray–not only is it the right size and convenient, but with a locking lid and being made of plastic, it also travels safely.

    Well, his side of the family isn’t like mine, without company dishes. Not only do they have company dishes, but they have different company dishes for each holiday. (I have a set of pretty company dishes and a set of Christmas dishes that sometimes I use for all of December and sometimes I don’t–but neither is an $80 a place setting style, let alone dishes edged with gold or platinum.) Others outside the family come to some of those meals, but usually they are neighbors (widows who walk to the house); they often tend to bring food in serving dishes, too, though I’ve never taken time to notice whether that is always the case. With people from six or eight households bringing food, the serving dishes aren’t going to match, and I cannot imagine that it matters anyway.

    Yesterday my mother-in-law volunteered to have me bring my “veggie tray” offerings in Ziploc bags and let her provide the tray. She did it in a rather subtle way, assuming that since we’re talking about moving I must have my own veggie tray packed up (no, in fact, I don’t–and she didn’t ask if I did), but I’m rather assuming that the real reason is that her serving dish is prettier than mine. (It probably is–she has many pretty dishes.) So now I’m the one who not only isn’t asked to bring a dish, but just a veggie tray, but who can’t even serve that right. Should I be offended? I’m not–I’m amused. But have I been doing a faux pas in that I didn’t run out four or five years ago and buy a nice glass serving tray specifically for being a guest at holiday meals? (I’ve used the plastic one many times to serve my own company at my own house. Only my Christmas set has serving dishes–and I don’t think I’ve ever used them.)

    I do have several serving, like the green and blue glass salad bowl and some other dishes, and depending on the menu I use them. But serving my most famous company dish, the plastic serving dish is the most practical because it fits so many things into a small space. I serve the rice and the curried chicken in glass bowls, and then all the toppings in the plastic divided dish, so that people can choose which toppings they want.

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  13. Lots going on for everyone, a lot of it hard. Pauline, I don’t blame you for wanting to avoid driving through the “zone” any more than you have to.

    I’m dropping the dogs off for grooming and then the dog park guy is supposed to try to come over sometime this morning to look at the leak under my sink. I head back to work Monday and haven’t accomplished much in my time off (house-wise) but that was sort of the plan. I really needed the break from all of it. But it all awaits me still …

    Maybe it’s (house) PTSD that I have 🙂 It’s been quite a year. (This time a year ago was when the bathroom was being demolished — little did I know it would take so long — and was only the beginning of things to come.)

    How can it be Thanksgiving already? We get the day off but have to work on the Friday after, unfortunately.

    Looks like it will be about 80 degrees on Thursday out here.

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  14. Among the dishes I found in the garage were ones I remembered my mom used a lot — they’re clear glass but have the imprints in them, I believe they were popular in the 1930s but these would have been copy-cats that came out probably in the 1970s or ’80s that she’d picked up. One of the serving bowls is in my own cupboards here, I associate with with mashed potatoes 🙂 .

    The the set included several pretty serving pieces similar to that — they go with most anything — and look more expensive than I’m sure they were when they came out as replicas from the real thing: (I’m guessing my mom either had some of the originals growing up or was at least familiar with them which is why she bought and liked them so much)

    http://www.laurelleaffarm.com/item-pages/china-and-glassware/vintage-glassware.htm

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  15. Dishes…I grew up with dish sets my Mom would acquire as she filled up the car with gas…with every fill up you received a place setting!! Then there were the dishes that came in laundry detergent…we had those as well!
    For everyday I have white dishes I purchased at Kohls…nothing fancy but they have been study…granite countertops are very unforgiving and we have lost one bowl and one cereal bowl chipped!
    I have the Dorset dishes from Wood and Son’s for company…as long as we have no more than 8!! 😊
    We had quite the snow burst last night…we attended a small concert in Palmer Lake last night and when we all emerged from the venue, we found our cars covered in three inches of snow and horrid road conditions…quite the adventure but we made it home (straight shot down Palmer Divide…lots of hills but little traffic!)

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  16. Well Cheryl, I have several thoughts here (you knew I would which is why you asked). First of all, YES. My feelings would be hurt. A gracious hostess never makes a guest feel badly about the dish they bring. I might even prepare my favorite dish and take it along with the veggie tray.
    You know me, I love to set a pretty table and I have way too many nice dishes, crystal, etc, BUT when I have large groups of people I don’t fuss the details I can’t control. Last year when I had all of my family for Christmas the week before Christmas I served out of whatever they brought it in and used paper and plastic.
    Yes, I think holidays should be made as special and set apart from other days, but I would never let a guest feel uncomfortable in my home. I also might just be petty enough to send the requested food with my husband and plead a terrible headache and stay home nursing my feelings. I did that once long ago because my ex husband’s group of friends always made me feel like an outsider. I dealt with it for 6 years, but then decided no more. I fixed the requested item for supper club, sent him, and stayed home and watched a movie. So, no, I don’t think you are being too sensitive.

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  17. DJ, that would be Depression Glass. The real stuff is expensive and collectible. The made knockoffs in the 1970’s and quite frankly only an expert can tell the difference. I knew at one time how to tell, but have forgotten.

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  18. Thanks Kim — yes, that’s what i seemed to turn up when I was ‘googling’ them several months ago before packing them away. I didn’t think they were truly “old” but did discover that they’d been patterned after old glassware (that would have been around in my mom’s growing up years).

    They’re really very pretty and versatile. I think they’re especially pretty for holiday tables, maybe not for full use but for accent use as serving pieces, dessert plates, etc.

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  22. I’m sorry about your hard week, Pauline. A lot to deal with.

    Another gray day here.

    Oh, wait. Ha — the sun just came out as I typed that!

    Off to a music store to peruse piano books for adult beginners, so I’m more familiar with what’s out there by the time of my interview with the potential student who called me yesterday. I wasn’t particularly pleased with the adult method books I taught out of years ago, but I know there are at least a couple of series out now that weren’t back in the day.

    Or maybe I’ll start writing my own!

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  24. No weed burning here this morning, only a cold wind that howled all night. Guess it is blowing off the snow NancyJill got.

    I remember the glasses in Duz, cups in Crystal Wedding Oats, and towels in Breeze. The size all depended on the size of box purchased.

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  25. I’ve tried taking my own dish alongside the requested dish. For instance, two or three times I have taken a favorite from my own childhood, and what to me is absolutely the perfect fall salad, a carrot-raisin salad (grated carrots, chopped apples, raisins, walnuts, and sometimes some mini marshmallows), but few people touch it, and so I usually don’t bother any more. I’ve also made my own family sugar cookies, but few try them–though last year I tweaked the recipe slightly, and those who tried them seemed to really like them. Last year I took a walnut-stuffed date (medjool date) that ended up being quite popular, and it was requested I bring it at Christmas time as well. That felt like “Success!” and I already have some made up and in the freezer.

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  26. I think everyone should have a dish that says “this is Thanksgiving to me” on the table. For me and now for my nephew it is a spinach and artichoke casserole I have made all of my adult life. No one around here seems to like it but I am making it anyway.
    Perhaps next year you can just make reservations at a nice restaurant for you and your husband and not have to worry about it.
    We will have Turkey and Dressing (not stuffing)
    Spinach and Artichoke Casserole
    Sweet Potato Casserole
    Mashed Potatoes (WHY?)
    Mac & Cheese
    and I guess since we are having mashed potatoes I am going to have to make some gravy.

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  27. I dropped the dogs off for long-overdue grooming sessions. They will finish them off with a spritz of “pumpkin” scent instead of their regular blueberry.

    My mom also had some serving pieces (sugar bowl, salt/pepper shakers) that look like milk glass — these would have been pieces from her childhood home. They have carved images of flowers and, in one case, a rabbit on them. And her favorite pitcher w/glasses set, clear glass with white snow scenes on them. She loved that set (also from her childhood home); one piece has a crack in it, but it still looks very pretty on display. Very delicate.

    They’re pieces that are never used by me, but I like seeing them up there, they were always out in the home I grew up in.

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  28. Our table always included mashed potatoes (all my family was, after all, from either Iowa or Minnesota). My mom always fretted over the sage stuffing, it was the recipe her mom used but my mom never thought hers lived up to her mom’s version. We all didn’t care, it was always good 🙂

    For several years my uncle delighted in carving the turkey after he received an electric knife as a gift.

    The only Thanksgiving mishap I recall is when my aunt and my dad got into some sort of pre-dinner argument over something and my aunt stormed out the door — taking the turkey she’d brought with her.

    Not a good year for my poor mom, the hostess, though i believe the aunt came back with the turkey at some point.

    Families.

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  29. Well, I love turkey and I love mashed potatoes (they have to be real, but they don’t need gravy), and also pumpkin pie. Black olives are a big deal to my family of origin, so I include them in the relish tray even though I may be the only one who eats them. Green-bean casseroles I cannot stand (and I did get asked to take that three or four times when we first married, and made it at least twice; finally I explained it is something I don’t eat and can’t stand to smell, and prefer to make something different–I’m like Chas with onions, and to me green beans taste better unadorned).

    I’m truly hoping I can cook Thanksgiving dinner myself next year, since I think I have had a hostess suggest I take home leftover turkey a grand total of once in my life, and I’d gladly eat leftovers for a week. (I’ve made a turkey for family two or three times, not for a holiday, to get those luscious turkey sandwiches afterward. If a restaurant serves real turkey slices on their sandwiches–few do–and pile it thick enough to be a treat–most flunk the test on that one–they’d have a customer for life.) If we have a dining room–which I really hope we have–then I can host it myself. If we are guests and not hosts, then I will make a turkey another time.

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  30. No, the men have not all gone back to bed. I’m drying off and warming up at D2’s house. It was cold, windy and rainy. The back of my jeans are soaked so I am on a towel.

    It was a good game that ended in a tie.

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  31. Here’s a question, are there any forbidden, spoken or unspoken, discussion topics at the Thanksgiving table?

    Is it necessary to nix (in advance) topics such as politics (especially nowadays)? Or do people usually behave themselves and are polite enough not to “go there,” realizing there will probably always be a mixture of passionate views these days if the gathering is larger than just a few?

    I remember my neighbors last year dreading Thanksgiving dinner at their daughter-in-law’s, a fiery Latina public school teacher with very staunch and outspoken anti-Trump views. She even “warned” them in advance that the holiday table discussion would likely include conversation on the outrage & how dire the state of the nation is now that Trump was elected. (My neighbors, lifelong Democrats, were Trump supporters). Talk about feeling awkward.

    Seems to me a gracious hostess would see to it that all her guests felt comfortable and that there would be at least an understanding that those kinds of subjects should be left for small groups before or after dinner, if at all, at a festive holiday gathering.

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  32. I’ll roast a turkey breast (I have half a turkey breast waiting in the refrigerator as we speak) and enjoy my home-cooked turkey that way — on sandwiches and salads.

    But yeah, I remember my mom always loading me up with leftovers when I went back to my apartment after Thanksgiving dinners. It all really did taste better the next day. 🙂

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  33. And after the year my aunt took her turkey home my mom learned to always provide all the basics. That way if someone wanted to leave in a huff (I don’t remember it happening before or since, but still … once bitten … ), the only harm they could do is to take a side dish or a pickle tray.

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  35. Interesting …

    I suppose that’s another challenge, making sure everyone’s good with what’s served. I suspect it’s more of an issue now than it was maybe 50 years ago?

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  36. I’d like an opinion from logical, rational people who are not in a fire disaster area.

    If my house had burned down and my insurance company asked me for a list of all my possessions, what is a reasonable amount of time, in your opinion, for the insurance company to request my list?

    Fire last threatened my house on Oct. 18, one month ago. Asking for a community.

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  38. Michelle, as you know from the military, it is suggested people take pictures of their stuff in the event of a disaster and the pics be kept elsewhere. So, a month should be well long enough. Most people don’t do that and the gradual remembering could take years. A month makes sense. The insurance people are dealing with a large number of people, it is going to be complicated for all of them, but each family should think of their loss, compile their list, and get it in. Then, the insurance company should not take months to come up with a payment. It is a business.

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  39. Michelle, I have no idea how long is reasonable. I imagine the reimbursement process can’t go forward without it, though, and also it takes time to think of everything, but the closer you are to the loss, the more likely you are to remember things. In other words, it’s in the best interest of both sides to move forward somewhat quickly, but with enough time to continue to think of things they might forget. Can they turn in an amended list if they end up remembering new things?

    My sister, with her house fire, had the company balk at paying the full insured price for the home. See, they had a mobile home, and mobile homes are more like cars than like houses. I will make up these numbers, since I don’t remember their actual figures, but let’s say the list price was $55,000, they paid $42,000, and the home was now several years old and would sell for $25,000 if they were lucky but probably less. Under the insurance terms, the company was to reimburse them $55,000 plus the contents, and the company really balked, but ultimately they had to honor the actual contract and not what they wished it said. People gave them furniture and children’s clothes and dishes, they didn’t actually lose everything, and they chose not to replace what they did lose unless it was essential. So they turned the money from a mobile home fire into a 2000 square foot house with its own little guest house, with something like an $8,000 mortgage. For a family trying to make a living on almost nothing, and having outgrown their mobile home but not having the money for a house (and not being able to sell the mobile home for very much money if they sold it), they saw it as a gift from God, and my sister credits it all as being part of what brought her husband to Christ. (He claimed to be a Christian when she married him, but years later he said he wasn’t and didn’t want to be.)

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  40. Remember Post Traumatic Stress? Well it can sometimes effect the memory. Living where a hurricane could blow away everything I have I imagine it could take me a couple of months. Best to have riders on your policy if there is something of particular value.
    Me? I occasionally remember to take photos of certain things. Really, they most valuable things cannot be replaced.

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  41. My parents had no company dishes. But then, they didn’t have much in the way of company so it didn’t matter…

    When I was little we had Thanksgiving with my father’s brother’s family, my grandfather, and us, rotating which home it was at each year. I have only one clear memory of hosting it, not sure when we stopped doing it but certainly by the time my grandfather died, when I was 11.

    After that, the only people my parents invited over were handicapped people. They had two friends who were blind, and later a friend who was somewhat mentally challenged and the man’s girlfriend who was in a wheelchair. There were probably others but they were the ones who came the most. One time they brought a deaf woman from church, but she never came again; she was upset at my mother’s poor (nearly non-existent) housekeeping.

    I figured the blind people didn’t mind because they didn’t know how bad it was, and the others probably were glad to have anyone invite them over. I felt guilty that I didn’t enjoy having them visit, but as a kid I wished we could have “normal” people over. But of course most people wouldn’t have been willing to visit, like that deaf woman. Or like my grandmother. She died when I was a baby, but I remember hearing that she refused to set foot in our house because it was so bad.

    I always looked forward to being part of a larger gathering for Thanksgiving. When I was a young adult I was invited into other families’ homes for Thanksgiving, then when we were first married we joined with my husband’s extended family. After my husband got his first church and we moved too far away to get together at holidays (since he doesn’t get to take holiday weekends off), I looked forward to inviting people over to our home for Thanksgiving, who like me as a young adult didn’t have family around to be with. But in the rural areas we have lived in, half the people seem to related to each other, so they have lots of family.

    So, as far as I know, it will be just the four of us as usual this Thursday. I used to try to make the special dishes I loved as a kid that my aunt made, like creamed onions and candied sweet potatoes. But it just meant more work and more leftovers, so now we’re down to mostly the basics – turkey and potatoes, stuffing and gravy from mixes, some kind of green bean casserole, and probably a corn/cornbread casserole. I’ve been using canned cranberry sauce, but this year I bought cranberries for a dessert I made for a potluck at work, so I might as well cook the rest of them for us. And while my husband doesn’t care for pumpkin pie, I decided to make one anyway, after I made one for a get-together of the ESL group at the college and was reminded how much I liked it.

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  45. I asked my question because on the Firestorm page, people are screaming about how unfair it is their insurance companies want a list ASAP. I’m with Mumsee, I think 6 weeks is probably a reasonable amount of time and if people want a little more, they should ask–but a reasonable amount of time because, yes, insurance companies need to work on this in a reasonable amount of time.

    People out here, though, aren’t feeling reasonable, in part because of the PTS–D for some of them.

    Of course I have photos, I did that as soon as I moved in. But running through the house that night I thought, “I should take video tonight.” By the time that thought occurred, however, no electricity so it wouldn’t have worked.

    And I knew I had time.

    I did, however, empty the dishwasher . . .

    For many, awakened from sleep and running, no time, not even to pick up phones which might have had photos, much less a computer which may or may not have been backed up in the cloud. What a nightmare.

    Our one friend, who did have his phone, has methodically been recording everything on a spread sheet since the second day. He must have owned 2000 videos. He knows he doesn’t want them back, but he’s writing them down anyway because he paid for them and they were insured.

    Others have been passing on photos of his house to help him remember. It’s still a long process, but he’s been doing it.

    Too many have been muddling through and NOT doing it. And now they’re screaming.

    To be minimally fair, companies are getting tired of hearing the fire as an excuse. They need to get back to business. I’d say too many of the victims in the Coffey Park area (where our friend lived) either were underinsured or were renters without ANY insurance. They’re financially strapped, traumatized and now being asked to make enormous and expensive decisions.

    That doesn’t include those who lost their homes–which is a whole ‘nother can of giant worms and troubling decision making during stressful times.

    Did I mention Thanksgiving is on Thursday?

    Thanks for your input.

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  47. Cheryl, when we have a potluck, there is no problem with what people bring their food in. I’m just so glad they chose to come and to contribute to the meal. On the other hand, I would probably use it as an excuse to purchase a really pretty serving tray/dish that I loved! 🙂

    My serving dishes range from the everyday plain white bowl of my grandmother’s to a crystal bowl that was a wedding gift to a blue and white dish that was my mom’s and that always reminds me of her.

    I try to have the plates and glasses and all match each other, but the serving dishes never match – not to the plates nor to each other.

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  48. I am not sure that I would bring nice serving dishes. I would want to bring things that would bug my picky hostess, but if I mentioned that I wanted to bug the snooty hostess my wife would insist that we bring nice dishes. She is too nice!

    We don’t have the time to care what others bring to our house. They come Tthey bring food. What’s not to like?

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  51. I would try not to waste time having my feelings hurt. I would be glad to not have to take anything. I remember my sis in law bringing a favorite salad to her first big meal with us and how rude my family was about it. We try never to repeat that behavior. Sis in law is still happily married to my brother and I always appreciate whatever she makes.

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  52. Fake math.

    My dogs are gorgeous again. Tess’ coat is gleaming, a bright black-and-white contrast again. And Cowboy’s wiry fur is as soft to the touch as can be.

    They put little orange ribbons on each of Tess’ ears which look silly, but I’ve left them in for now. It gives the cat a laugh and they’ll fall out soon enough.

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  54. Oh, there are many hosts and hostesses who would care and that is fine. And they are fine with us misfits not bringing anything. I doubt anybody is trying to be rude. Some people are a bit compulsive about how things should be and that is okay. Those of us who are not can just relax and enjoy the feast. And they get to enjoy putting out pretty stuff. It is all good. Sounds like they are trying to be gracious but aren’t ready to just let it be. That is okay.

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  55. Regarding “rules” about conversation topics on Thanksgiving:

    Scott and I come from opposite extremes.
    His family is formal, extremely polite, and would never discuss anything remotely controversial at the dinner table. When everyone gathers at Christmas at my MIL’s, there are eleven of us, which includes the four grandkids. It is quite a subdued group; one I sometimes find boring.

    My family, otoh, is loud, boisterous, casual and discusses anything and everything. There will be about 30 of us this Thanksgiving. My mom sets a lovely table w/ china, crystal and her sterling. Becca is in charge of the centerpieces this year (we have multiple tables to hold everyone), though my mom usually orders floral arrangements. But no one dresses up and topics at dinner range from the mundane to the philosophical. It is NEVER boring. Sometimes, it is overwhelming–everyone talking at once, speaking loudly to be heard over everyone else. My dad is a wonderful storyteller and every year shares tales from his childhood (he’ll be 85 next July) or his days at Rice University. He also says the prayer each year–and for about the last five years or so, he tears up towards the end when he thanks Jesus for his salvation and the blessing of family.
    My entire family (my parents had five kids) will be home for Thanksgiving this year–including my sister who arrived from Kenya yesterday. Also in attendance will be two of my cousins, a cousin-in-law and their one year old, adorable little girl, my deceased Aunt’s long-term boyfriend and all the in-laws and grandkids (13!). It will be the first time we’ve all been home at the same time in quite awhile. I’m looking forward to it–but have a little apprehension about being out at the ranch for almost a week. I’m thrilled about seeing my sister; she’s lived in Africa for seven years now and I miss her desperately. Becca is super excited about seeing her cousins—she’s definitely wired more like my family than Scott’s. Lindsey and Scott aren’t coming until Thursday b/c Lindsey had agreed to take care of her trainer’s horses this week (we originally planned to spend Thanksgiving w/ Scott’s mom).

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  57. I loved our small group Christmas dinners. The ladies would say “we’ll bring the food, if you’ll have it at your place and decorate” Worked well for me as I am NOT a good cook and don’t really enjoy it.

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  59. Kare, that’s about what happened for the Saturday after Thanksgiving tradition of Elvera’s family when we lived in Hendersonville.
    Now they have it in a church recreation hall in Greenwood.

    We will go down Friday, meet with the others and return Saturday. It was at one of these gatherings that Elvera introduced me to her family. We had been going together about two months at that time.

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  60. dj: My dad’s father emigrated from Sweden at age twelve; his mom was from England. My mom’s side of the family is a hodgepodge–but has a lot of German in there (Spratling was her maiden name). No Italian on either side of which I’m aware….

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  61. We haven’t had all seven of my siblings and me together for Thanksgiving or Christmas since 1991 or 1992 (Christmas), and it’s highly unlikely we ever will again. In fact, since then all seven of us (minus most of the spouses and children) have been together only for Mom’s funeral (2003) and the 2014 family reunion (we got nearly everyone at that, pretty much everybody but my California nephews and their families–three out of four of them got married that year, though one was already married). Since we live in seven different states, most of us are married, and all but two of us have children and most of those children are now grown . . . it gets more and more complicated, and a get-together away from the holidays, planned years in advance, is simply easier.

    I have attended Christmas gatherings with as many as three of us plus Mom, but even that was more than a decade ago. Getting more than two of us together at any one time isn’t easy, though we will get three or four, sometimes even five, for funerals or weddings. (We had five for my wedding, including me, plus a nephew and family from one of the two absent brothers. Two brothers had business things planned far in advance, and there wasn’t any good way to involve everyone, so we had to go ahead with the best date overall.) My husband’s family is small and we all live close, and his first wife’s family is big but they also all live close (and do a mostly annual family reunion which we attend every summer–this was the first year without one since before we married).

    My family is wild and crazy talkative, too–debates, politics, theology, sarcasm, talking over one another, board games, you name it. At my family gatherings it’s highly unlikely anyone would mention a movie and no one would mention sex, but I think pretty much everything else is fair game. At his family gatherings there are a lot of things we don’t dare mention, lest they be brought up later (we became the topic of family discussion because of a $5 date at a coffee shop that someone decided we couldn’t really afford and they passed the message along, so now we pretty much nod and smile at whatever is the topic others want to discuss).

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  62. Cheryl: Only two of us live in Texas; one is in Arkansas, one in Georgia and one in Africa. Everyone has kids, most of whom are now in college. One niece is doing a semester abroad, but flew in yesterday for the Thanksgiving feast. The only person who will be absent is my sister’s husband. He stayed in Kenya b/c there’s currently a nurses’ strike going on and most (all?) of the public hospitals are closed so he’s working seven days a week, very long hours, and couldn’t justify being away.
    I love the lively banter amongst my family. My mom is excited about having us all home at the same time. The five of us will help prepare the meal, w/ each of us having “assigned” dishes to prepare. One of my brothers is doing the turkey and another brother offered to pay for all the food (which is quite generous considering we need enough to feed 30).
    My parents live on about a 100 acres and have six cabins scattered around the property. So, it’s very convenient to visit, b/c there’s plenty of space for everyone.

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  63. I think the three of us will do Cracker Barrel this year. I am content with that. Art and I, and of course my diabetic brother, can enjoy the one meal and save some to take home so we won’t blow our diets. Art has lost about ten pounds in the last week. I lost maybe three. If I cooked all that we like, we would gain all the weight back. It will be fun to see all the other people at Cracker Barrel and to be nice to the servers who are working there. At least my brother does not have to work that day in his retail job as he did last year. Doing Cracker Barrel means we do not have to worry about china and serving bowls. I do have some large Corning Ware dishes, a hand painted turkey serving tray, a lovely fruit salad bowl, and a mix of other serving bowls for when needed.

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  65. Cheryl, we had a company leaf to our dining table, too, as I was growing up. We had lovely china that had something like violets on it, and special glasses for special meals, along with silver plate utensils that I always got to polish. We usually had another family with whom we reciprocated meals so there were eight of us. My brother has all of those things from our past, but they are never used now.

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  66. No topic of conversation is “off limits” at family gatherings, but my parents, especially my mom, and sometimes my siblings tend to spend a lot of time talking about all the bad news in current events. There was one year, I think it was when the Sandy Hook school shooting happened (in December, as I recall), I really didn’t want that coming up as a topic of discussion at our Christmas gathering, with my youngest child being only five years old. I didn’t think she or my then-eight-year-old needed to be hearing about all that. So I contacted family ahead of time to say, let’s not talk about that.

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  67. Speaking of PTSD, I came across this article today without specifically searching for information on it, something I sometimes do when we’re discussing a topic here that I don’t know as much about as I’d like.

    https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/12/151201093515.htm

    Experiencing a traumatic event can cause life-long anxiety problems, called posttraumatic stress disorder. Researchers now show that people with posttraumatic stress disorder have an imbalance between two neurochemical systems in the brain, serotonin and substance P. The greater the imbalance, the more serious the symptoms patients have.

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  68. Good (early) Sunday morning, wanderers.
    Dakota and I have been up since 4:30. But, on the positive side, he didn’t awaken me at 3:00 to potty–so I guess we’re making progress?!?
    It’s cold here this morning (at least for Houston). It’s currently 43 degrees, w/ a forecast high of 66; yesterday we reached 85. Dakota really likes the cooler weather—he’s quite frisky this morning. As most of you know, he’s a Great Pyrenees, so has a thick undercoat.

    I had extensive dental work done Friday. Was in the dental chair from 7:30am until 4:45pm. Fortunately, I was under anesthesia–so I have no memory of all the unpleasantness—but my mouth is sore! I had four root canals and crowns, a few fillings and some deep cleaning under the gum line done. The reason I needed so many root canals is b/c I have severe bruxism and had fractured six back teeth, four to the root…. I wore a bite plate faithfully until about two years ago when I left it in a hotel. I didn’t realize how badly I need it and failed to get it replaced—until now. When I awakened from procedures, dentist (who happens to be my backyard neighbor and the father of a boy who’s Becca’s age w/ whom she played almost daily until they were about nine when kids tend to prefer playmates of their own gender; although they still have water fights w/ the hose over the fence in warmer months. I’m fairly good friends w/ his wife. They are a wonderful, loving, Christian family. They have four sons, ranging in age from five to twenty) said I had one of the worst cases of bruxism he’d seen in his 25+ years of dentistry. He said that as soon as I began to lightly snore, I began grinding and actually broke two dental instruments in the process….So, I have an appointment scheduled for the Monday after Thanksgiving to have a bite plate made. Until then, I bought an over-the-counter version from Walgreens as a stop-gap measure.

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  69. Good morning, Ann. Ow, that sounds painful, all the dental work you had to have done. Glad you’ve got some temporary, then future, measures in place to help.

    Time to get ready for church. I am dragging — woke up a little after 4:00 after five hours of sleep, and couldn’t get back to sleep before the 7:00 alarm rang. I’ll see if I can get in a nap this afternoon, although it looks like it might be a sunny day today, so I might decide to skip the nap and soak up as much sunshine as I can while God has granted a reprieve from all the gray days there have been this month.

    Have a blessed Lord’s day, all.

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  70. 6 arrows: Regarding your post last night on PTSD:
    For my final internship in grad school (1997), I worked at the VA Hospital in Waco, Texas (which is a psychiatric hospital). Although I worked in multiple units, my primary placement was working w/ Schizophrenic veterans who lived in supervised group homes in the community. Most of these dear men also had PTSD diagnoses. The severe psychological consequences of war are so profound for some men–many of them were sent home in straight jackets after having psychotic breaks.

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  71. Ann, I can’t imagine the horrors of war for our dedicated service personnel. My dad’s brother was in the Navy, shipped out from Roanoke in September 1944 (during World War II) and presumably headed toward the Panama Canal when a hurricane struck and destroyed the ship on which my uncle sailed. He and many others languished aboard life boats for days before rescue. Dad’s brother was one of the men who died of exposure on the open sea.

    I often wonder if God didn’t protect my uncle from something much worse — they were probably going to Japan — having to do with the atrocities of war.

    Something we will never know this side of eternity, but we are thankful to God for His mercy and loving sovereignty over all events on this earth.

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  73. Ann, that sounds so painful, sorry you’re having to go through all that — but so good that you got so much done all in one sitting/sleeping. Still, ouch.

    I stayed up way too late last night, I decided to start going through the most recent piles of paperwork, much of it only things to shred and throw away but some of it — like the massive amounts of medicare info — I filed in a folder and put it with the other medicare info, forms, etc., to go through later.

    Ironically, I’m now newly motivated to get back to house clearing, just in time for my return to work tomorrow. But I really did need that break from all of it this past week when I was off, so no regrets. I just wish I had a 2nd week now to work in the house, but maybe I can set aside time after I get home to do a little bit at a time.

    I would love to decorate for the holidays — I wasn’t able to last year because of all the drastic repairs going on and I may also have to forgo decorating this year, but I hope not. It’s not done yet, but I’m trying to figure out a way to accommodate the work left to do with establishing some bit of temporary order in here.

    The window crew is coming back, of course, hopefully before the holidays (they have me on “standby” for cancellations and marked as “very flexible”) so I still need to keep areas clear where they’ll need to work, but I think there may be a way to do that. I’d love to get a small table-top Christmas tree for one of the front corner windows — and maybe some of that fake garland with little lights in it to string over those windows on the outside.

    Today is Angel Tree day at church so this year I’m hoping to get a younger child than I usually wind up with (teens or pre-teens are so hard, and I love shopping for toys). But the younger children go fast. I’m prepared to make the mad dash and race to the board in the lobby … elbows. 🙂 I’ve been training in that event here for years, after all.

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  74. Did you know we don’t do dogs in the house? Yesterday, daughter brought down a dog she was pet sitting, for the time she was spending butchering turkeys and visiting. Nice dog, Australian Shepherd. She took it out to the sheep and did some herding. Donna would love it. It went well. She tried asking me to watch it for her but I declined and told her to put it in her car or the kennel.

    Son arrived yesterday, bringing the dog he got from their sister who got it before being settled and then had to give it up. It is psycho. I am hoping son will continue to work with it but for now, he is off to church and the dog is in the crate in the guest room barking and howling and whining. I am leaving for church soon. Poor husband, who is still ill, is home.

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  76. Cheryl, Just FYI, a homeowners policy is not a “contract” that requires the insurance company to pony up the face value of the limit on the dwelling (which is “Coverage A”). Coverage B is for other structures on the property, like a detached garage, C is for the contents, D covers living elsewhere (if needed), and E is liability. The limits for B, C, and D are percentages of A, but can be increased for a fee. You can increase the coverage on the contents even more by selecting “replacement cost” coverage, which pays to replace the contents instead of paying the depreciated amount they are currently worth. Companies require you to insure your house for at least 80% of the replacement value so that the limits on the other coverages are proportionate and the premium is fair to them in case of a full or partial loss. HOWEVER, other than having the replacement-cost endorsement on Coverage C, you are only entitled to claim the actual value of any of it. Your sister may have been fortunate or may have fought with them enough that they gave in or thought it was cheaper than going to court over it. But it was not a contract.

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  77. Linda, I don’t know what company my sister worked with or anything about the details. But they did indeed have a contract with specific terms, and it was the wording of those terms that they insisted the company keep. Perhaps when they bought the insurance, it was for the original value of the home and that was what was being referenced, I don’t know. I just know that the company wanted to pay what they could get for the mobile home if selling it, but they stuck to the terms of the insurance, which were not the selling price at current market value, but the full original value.

    Their loss on the value of the contents was more than they were covered for, but since much of it was stuff they wouldn’t bother buying again (they had downsized their taste, in other words), the coverage was adequate.

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  80. I have drawn the name of a second grade girl in my county to buy Christmas presents for this year. She had Strawberry Shortcake on her llist so I got a 35th anniversary doll, detailed coloring book, and three different vinyl character sets for around 47.00 through Prime. She also wants a tablet. What is an appropriate tablet for that age? I have no way to know if she would have access to Wifi. Does anyone have a clue about how to grant that wish? I can also get a few clothes. Any suggestions?

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  81. You remember the twins? They are still in the hospital, still being fed through tubes, which they will probably always have of some sort. But last night, the town had a spaghetti feed/auction fund raiser for the family. The goal was thirty thousand dollars. That is a big goal for a small town with all the usual challenges. But they believe they exceeded the goal and it was a neat time for those who attended. I did not as I was here butchering turkeys and waiting for son and chatting with daughter. But husband and others went and enjoyed it.

    The genetic tests came back, unclear. So now they are sending MRI results to a doctor in the Netherlands to see what she says. Apparently a specialist in this particular genetic challenge.

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  82. Annms, the one root canal I had was awful!!! I can not imagine all you went through. My friend Karen needs a lot of dental work. She has all her other health issues like being on oxygen, too. She needs to see a specialist about 45 minutes from our area. I do not look forward to taking her, but otherwise she needs to take Uber.

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  83. Thankful, Roscuro, that things will settle down so you can get back to what you need to do. We once faced a public transit strike that was brutal on students in attendance at my downtown university. At least we still had classes for those who could get to them.

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  84. Thanks, Cheryl & Janice. Now I’m trying not to worry as I wait for instructions for the rest of the semester. It is easy to feel, in this situation, like you’ve missed something and should be doing something you aren’t, but at the same time, knowing that you’ve been doing all you can.

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  86. An 8-year-old boy. Back to Minecraft 🙂

    I’ve been going through some more boxes here, busy-busy.

    Carol called, she seems to be going through another paranoid period lately — people there hacking into her phone and releasing some kind of substance that stings her eyes in the dining room (but they’re immune). So she’s on a daylong fast, says she won’t go back to the dining room for dinner (she skipped lunch also, and maybe breakfast, I’m not sure).

    I told her to pray for them and to be sure to let the staff know about what (she thinks) is going on, which she has.

    We had a powerful sermon today on fighting the sin within. A call to arms, of sorts. Good stuff.

    The pastor mentioned that if we don’t sense the ongoing battle with our own sin, then we likely aren’t fighting it and instead are following our own feelings, desires, lusts.

    He opened with comments on how the church of the west has become an object of ridicule (often its own fault by being so unfaithful).

    All in all a sobering message.

    I signed up for the church Christmas dinner on Dec. 2, I’ll be driving 2 other women who don’t like to drive at night. It’s always a good time with a catered dinner and performances by the youth and others.

    There’s a dog park Christmas party that same night, so I may swing by there afterward just to stop in since I missed it last year (probably for the same reason, the church party being on the same night) and the woman who hosts it every year really goes all out. She was disappointed I didn’t go last year.

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  87. Things are beginning to change at church as for our traditional activities so I do not know what to expect for our Christmas programs except we are doing the annual drive through nativity for perhaps the last time.

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  88. Getting closer to 100.

    I am making some of my beloved spaghetti and meat sauce (made from ground turkey). Art says he could eat it every day. I will make much less of the pasta to honor our diet.

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  89. Janice, re the appropriate tablet for a second grader? One that you draw on. Seriously. A young child writing Christmas wishes for a stranger doesn’t need a computer, is likely to break it quickly, and you don’t need the moral responsibilities involved in such a gift. I’d skip that request or simply buy a writing tablet and pencils and let it go at that.

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  90. Angel Tree (Prison Fellowship) puts a price limit on what we can spend on the child we choose — and there are somewhat specific requests in the 1/clothing and 2/toy categories (clothing, for example, may specify shirts or jeans or sweaters along with favorite colors).

    I confess I usually push over the financial limit, though not by an extraordinary amount. But I am grateful that what we are to spend isn’t open-ended.

    Janice, there are tablets for kids, but use your own judgement — Cheryl brings up valid points. But here are some I found:

    https://www.bestreviews.guide/kids-tablets

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  92. Roscuro, so glad to hear the strike is over.

    Well, it was cloudy by the time I got home from church and ate lunch, so I decided to take a nap anyway. Slept until 2:15 and woke up to the sun streaming in my bedroom west window. A refreshing nap and nice sunshine to enjoy for part of the afternoon before the sun slipped behind the trees in our woods on the hill behind our house. I feel good!

    I also got a call today from someone else who saw my ad and has a son who is interested in taking lessons. So now I have two consultations set up for the Monday after Thanksgiving — for a grandmother and for a 7-year-old boy, both beginners — one at 2:00, the other at 5:00. I’m enjoying thinking about how I’ll do the mini-lesson for each of them. It certainly won’t be exactly the same way, and that’s the fun of it; I love variety! 🙂

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  95. I remember buying my son a kid type computer that had some features of a real computer. I will see if there is anything like that because it seems a lot of children get some type tech device early. This is for a county public school child. If I don’t see something along those lines then I will skip it. I would not want to give something that has full access to the internet. Thanks for your thought of a real drawing pad, Cheryl. I might find some tech device like that (similar to the Etch-a-Sketch).

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  96. In my rummaging today I found a sterling piece (looks old) with a note in the box: “Olive sugar sifter – Introduced in 1848”

    It doesn’t look *that* old and the note is written on a card for the Knott’s Berry Farm Antique Store, so it was obviously (?) something purchased there some decades ago.

    And a first edition of a sterling Christmas bell which is very pretty.

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  97. This one is old, however, I’d guess somewhere in the early 1900s – it’s tarnished but a very interesting piece, sort of a large clam shell shape with a short handle, sterling.

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  102. Kim – In your list of Thanksgiving foods you’ll be having, you wrote, “Mashed Potatoes (WHY?)”

    Are you serious?! Mashed potatoes are one of the best things about a Thanksgiving dinner! I could fill up on only mashed potatoes with gravy, & stuffing, with a nice slice of Pumpkin Pie for dessert, & be very happy. (Btw, I know that “stuffing” that doesn’t go in the turkey is actually “dressing”, but we’ve always called it “stuffing” anyway.)

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  103. Janice, I admit that part of the reason I say I would buy a paper drawing tablet is that I think computers for little kids aren’t a good trend. But I also wouldn’t buy something for a stranger’s child that I wouldn’t buy for my own child or grandchild. And I wouldn’t spend $100 on a gift for my own child or grandchild unless it was something really important (a bicycle or a winter coat, or a computer when he’s high-school age). When a family is asking for gifts from strangers, they should not be requesting unnecessary, expensive items. And the chance it will last more than a few weeks (long enough to get “your money’s worth”) seems rather slim. I personally would give $100 toward a family having food to eat, or toward school clothes, but I couldn’t do that one–and if I could somehow bring myself to do so, my husband would overrule me and say no.

    It’s your choice–but don’t feel like you need to spend hundreds of dollars or grant every possible wish they have. If, like me, you wouldn’t buy it for your own child, you needn’t feel guilty about not buying it for a stranger.

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  104. I found a doodle pad tech tablet, 2 pairs of leggings, 1 sweater, and 2 long sleeve t-shirts all from Prime. We use to buy things for the Birthday Party for Jesus at my husband’s church which supplied gifts for the older children in county foster care. We have not done that in several years so I am glad to do this for 2017. I also will get some ten dollar coupons for Amazon associated restaurants in our area because I selected a delayed ship date from Prime. I think I got reasonable deals on all I ordered.

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