85 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 9-30-17

  1. I really am not the type of person to be unkind, but tonight I am have 3 sets of neighbors over to watch Alabama football. Four of them attended the University of Alabama, a fifth is a retired high school football coach and that leave the rabid Alabama fan, the wife of the football coach and me. Those not invited are the Two Old Buzzards (the Bully and the Yes Man), I have entertained myself with what they may think when they see a party going on over here. They meant to coerce everyone in the neighborhood to their will, but what they did was allow some of us to take that tentative step towards neighborliness.
    Now to clean this house before tonight. It must be spotless before I can allow people to make it have spots again. LOL

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  2. Here’s a random question. In our church, families sit as families (not, say, children in children’s church or teenagers sitting in their own pew). In fact, our married daughter didn’t start sitting with her fiance until the week after they got engaged (we suggested she sit with him that week, but she thought it would start “whispering” and she chose not to do so until the next week, after she’d shown off the ring–but she said a couple of people told her they had seen a ring but they were puzzled because she wasn’t even sitting with him . . . probably we should have encouraged her harder, as he did deserve to have her with him, but she can tend toward nervousness, so we let her be).

    Well, our pews are little, with room only for four adults each. Our younger daughter tends to be late, nearly always coming after the service has started. She often has to sit elsewhere. I started leavign my husband’s and my Bibles beside me, far enough over to save room for her, but two weeks ago a young couple came and sat down, and last week they did too. Last week our girl was playing the piano and she specifically asked us to save room for her; the only reason there was room for her after they sat down was that my husband ended up going home sick soon after the service started. She sometimes ends up not coming (possibly as much as a quarter of the time) because she sometimes ends up working Saturday night, and when you work with elderly people overnight you may or may not get any sleep, and we don’t have a lot of extra seats. But would it be improper to actually say, “Hey, the Bibles are to allow our daughter to sit with us”? We probably only have a few more weeks to attend as a family, anyway, and since the church ethos is to sit together as families and she does still choose to sit with us, I’d rather have her be able to. (Of course, I would really rather have her get to the service on time, so it may be that that is the answer–that she can’t sit with us because she is getting to church late–but for me, putting the Bibles where she would sit is a discreet and socially acceptable way of saying, “Someone is sitting here, and has put their Bibles on this spot.”)

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  3. Grandchildren play in soccer games this afternoon. Why do parents put 6- and 7-year-olds in such pressure situations? I suppose it’s because D1 married into an athletic family, and we only had our son in baseball, and at that, he was 10 the first year he played. the girls didn’t seem interested in doing sports. Our granddaughter is in dance class as well as soccer, and so far the 6 year old grandson is in soccer. Fortunately, they play at the same field, so we don’t have to drive all over creation to catch both games. We do have to drive 60 miles, though. A little closer than the 90 miles to their home. But Mrs L wants to go to their games in three weeks at the home field, 90 miles away. There go my Saturdays at home!

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  4. Cheryl- Whenever I am at church and see a Bible on a seat I presume the seat is taken already. You could politely tell the young couple the seats are saved. Or, you could sit farther over and leave room between you and hubby until daughter arrives. But then, someone might think you had a spat and start the gossip mill going. Better not allow that. Sad that the church is so full of gossipers.

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  5. Welcome to Grandparent Soccering. We only fill in when they need a driver, and I take a book to read during non playing time.

    Otherwise, Grammy will attend one game each season.

    Too many Adorables to watch, otherwise.

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  6. Second son was bemoaning all of the sports his sons and daughter were in. I asked why they were in them and why he felt he needed to attend all of their games.

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  7. Cheryl, with the cooler weather now maybe you could leave a jacket across that space with the Bibles. If that isn’t hint enough, then definitely tell them your daughter will be joining you there.

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  8. Kim, thanks for posting the Anniversary Waltz yesterday. My grandmother mentioned it several times as a favorite of hers, but I never actually heard it until now.

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  9. I would think it wonderful if somebody sat by me in church. But that has not happened in my memory. And I would say, sorry daughter, somebody else got here.

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  10. Good morning. My brother will be here shortly to help me put up a window shade. Miss Bosley will be glad to have his company. She is snoozed out in my lap right now.

    I had a call from my CA friend. Her friend and former apartment mate here is in hospice from breast cancer. My friend was in tears. I am so glad she visited when she did and got to give the one who is dying a quilt she had made for her. The one who is in hospice was in my CA friend’s wedding along with me. She was also married for awhile to the Russian balalaika player who played for my wedding dinner. He and his friend back then played at the revolving restaurant on top of a highrise hotel in downtown Atlanta.

    In other rather distressing news, I have not heard officially, but it appears that the 23 year old worship leader at my church who got married this month is being let go from church staff. I feel very sad about that. His wife is a teacher. Also, the fellow who has been in the media center with me on Sunday mornings wants to be in a choir that has people who all read music so I suggested that he try Art’s choir. He went last Wednesday and seemed to like it.

    My brother just helped with a lot of little things like putting in the new window shade, putting in a new smoke detector, fixing a flashlight, and he took a lamp with him to try to get a new switch to install on it.

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  11. Everyone’s an early bird, except me. I’ve not been feeling well, again, and so I went to bed early. Bad idea – every time I do that, I wake up in the wee hours. This time, I finally managed to get back to sleep around seven and have three more hours. Hoping and praying that whatever is the matter with me will straighten out by Monday. I have a vaguely sore throat, running nose, and just generally not well feeling. That is the third time such symptoms have started around Friday. I was remembering today that my grandmother developed a chronic sore throat when she was in nursing training. Between that and the fact her supervisor said she was too tender hearted, she wasn’t able to complete the training, though she went on to nurse many people, including her mother-in-law (who had made it clear she didn’t consider her daughter-in-law to be good enough for her son), a former missionary (whom my mother remembers as being a bitter old man), and her own husband as he was dying of bone cancer for two long years.

    Eldest sibling’s children have all had an opportunity, when they are old enough, to play soccer. Her two eldest (Eldest Niece and Nephew) didn’t enjoy it, so they were allowed to give it up, although she has ensured that they do get some regular exercise (they live, of necessity, in a town, so their backyard is small) via parkour classes and also bike rides and walks in parks. The two Eldests are a thinker and a dreamer – she has self-published a novel and is working on more, while he has self-published a CD of music he wrote – so team sports weren’t really appealing to them. Their next youngest brother, Second Nephew, is completely different, outgoing and gregarious, so he enjoys soccer, doing it in addition to parkour. Third Nephew, the next in line, wanted to play soccer so badly, that his parents used it as an incentive to get him potty trained – he is a thoughtful child, but not so introverted as the eldest two, and seems to enjoy the sport. Fourth Nephew, the youngest, hasn’t expressed interest so far – he’s a real character, that one – but he is only a few weeks older than their eldest cousin, Little Niece, who recently turned four.

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  12. Are these more Disney photos?

    We took our kids out of organized sports when it got in the way of our family time. I just couldn’t drive two kids to two practices a week at opposite ends of the county and still have a brain left. I told them if it was really important, I’d make the sacrifice but since I didn’t think it was, they could do scouts and music and we’d eat dinner together as a family every night.

    My husband joined us most nights.

    One of my kids should have been in volleyball, but I didn’t realize that until later. The rest worked out fine.

    OTOH, my inlaws soccered all over the state for 13 years and their son became a professional soccer player. I can’t imagine how crazed their life must have been, but they had only two kids. Of course they both worked demanding jobs.

    Who can say? You need to do what is best for your family.

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  13. Ah, seat saving. We use the church bulletins and copies of the pastor’s notes which are stacked at the front door to do that which seems to send more of a “this seat is saved for someone” message than random personal belongings. But sometimes you’ll see a whole row filed with bulletins on each chair (one Sunday, papers were actually some the elders had passed out for the business meeting follow services and when I was trying to find a seat it was very frustrating until I figured it out. 🙂

    We have some very large families, several generations, and they will often take up much of a long row of seats (we have chairs rather than pews). But I also think families can and should be a bit flexible as well, welcoming others to sit with them — if that’s how it works out on a given Sunday if someone is running too late.

    I personally prefer, when possible, to have one empty seat next to me where I can lay my Bible and notebook (then the person on the other side can also have their side of that seat between us to put their things), otherwise you’re constantly trying to juggle everything on your lap or pile it on the floor under the chairs (we do have undercarriages though so those can be used though the space is limited, meant only for our hymnals). Crunched in, sitting shoulder to shoulder, has always felt crowded & uncomfortable to me.

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  14. My friend in the Valley was the ultimate soccer mom, she went head-long into it with her two girls and it was soccer-soccer-soccer for years. She mourned the end of it all. But now she has a grandson who’s just barely old enough to be enrolled — she’s on it again. 🙂 My neighbors have 6 grankids so their Saturdays often are spent going from game to game.

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  15. Cheryl, I was thinking like Kevin B, only I would put an opened jacket there to indicate someone had been sitting there and had gone to the restroom. Otherwise, you might be expected to move “your” jacket over. And you could just say, “Oh, I’m sorry. That seat is taken.”

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  16. I think it also depends on if the people coming to sit there are new to the church. If they are, I have been known to not sit with my husband so they can have a seat. (I am sometimes late for the service due to my service). If they’re regulars, I think it’s probably okay to let them know that your daughter will be sitting there.

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  17. We only did baseball with the YMCA so it was not as competitive as other such things. It was fun for Wesley. He was good at batting. It was convenient most of the time at a nearby park. His team were the winners usually. So mostly it was positive for us.

    At the CLI dinner we attended, Art’s pastor’s wife said their daughter is on a traveling ssocer team and that tends to be a bit stressful.

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  18. Mumsee, we played outside, but we didn’t play sports for the most part. The occasional game of badminton – but any attempts at soccer or baseball, or even hockey, were sporadic and abortive. But we had a much, much, bigger backyard that my nieces and nephews with our own forest to explore and swamp to skate on and a small hill to slide down, and nobody cared if you wandered over into everyone else’s forest and swamp – parts of the section owned by the farmers has trails cut through it, which are nice to walk in winter (too many mosquitoes in summer) once the snowmobiles have packed them down. A rarely privileged childhood was ours. None of my nieces and nephews have all that, unless they come to visit – though Tiny Niece, and her unborn sibling, will if Second Sibling and spouse decide to stay after trying out living with my parents.

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  19. We played baseball in our backyard — patio was home plate, the orange tree was the backdrop to the pitcher’s mound, clothes line was first base, plumb tree 2nd base, the banana tree was 3rd base. Worked for us.

    Soccer was unheard of when I was growing up.

    As a single I guess I’m an open-seat, sit where you can and want, be flexible, advocate at church — and yes, especially when people are new, they already feel a bit awkward so families should always be aware of that (our church is large enough I don’t always know if someone’s visiting for the first time or has been already coming for a while). When I sit in a row, I always try to leave space for “a group” to share and be flexible to “scoot on down the row” should a large family arrive and need extra seats.

    I still remember going to a new church ages ago and sitting in a pew that evidently “belonged” to a large family. I had to keep scooting down, over and over, to the very end where I was wedged in as they arrived. Made me feel pretty out of place and embarrassed, to be honest, but it shouldn’t have. Who knew pews were “reserved”??

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  20. DJ, I get that, and since our pews comfortably sit four adults, we often have our daughter and a sixty-something single who is a friend of the whole family. This couple has been coming a couple of years, so they aren’t brand new. Two weeks ago I was talking or something and I guess they more or less asked my husband if they could sit there, and he didn’t understand that I had put the Bibles over there on purpose, so as she was sitting down, she said something like, “I had just been wondering if the Bibles were there to reserve a seat.” Since she didn’t say it as a question and she was already sitting down, I didn’t say, “Yes, they were actually.” And then this past week they just came matter of factly and took the spot, when it really would have been a problem had my husband not left early, since our daughter had specifically asked us to save her a seat. (She didn’t want to sit closer to the front, where empty seats might be, since bachelors tend to sit there.)

    The jacket idea sounds like a good one,thanks. I can’t sit closer over there myself since our pews have a bit of a divider down the middle, so I have to sit on the same side as my husband or definitely look like we have a spat. But putting our Bibles on the other side made it look like another couple was planning to sit on the other side, I thought, and said, “Someone is already sitting here” without being rude about it.

    I did once attend a women’s conference where churches were reserving whole long pews for themselves, where I would try two or three times at every main event before I finally sat down with no one saying, “Oh, sorry, that spot is taken!” I was by myself in an event where most people were in groups or pairs, so I already felt left out. And they had very bright lights on the platform and my eyes are uniquely light-sensitive, so I was selective in where I sat anyway. I left a note in the evaluation about the saved seat issue, saying it seemed fair enough to save seats for a whole church group the first night, but to do so for every session felt rude and made it hard for others to find seats, and the directors replied by telling me they had no idea that was going on, and they would make sure it didn’t happen at future events. Really, a simple announcement would be good, that you can save a seat for a friend who has gone to the rest room, but no, you may not save two pews by having one person sit there chasing off anyone else who dares try to sit down!

    So I am sensitive to that. But I’m also sensitive to the daughter who is alone and might not readily have a place to sit with people she knows, but this couple are together and can sit together.

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  21. As long as there is plenty of room for everyone, I have no problem with someone saving a pew. Some churches do a children’s church or bible study during part of the service (or a children’s choir sings and then sit with parents) so it is not unusual. The main thing is how it is all handled.

    We played neighborhood baseball on our property. We also skated, sledded and did all kinds of outdoor sports. It didn’t tie up the whole family and chores had to be finished.

    My youngest has four in soccer with two in two different leagues. She was glad when one decided against basketball this season. With Awana, youth group, dance and other activities, we see them far less than we would like. I would go crazy with their schedule. Mine was similar to Michelle’s. We did have a lot of music and theater activities, however.

    The soccer games change quite a bit in each level. The younger children’s games are not so competitive as the older children’s games. Being aware of your children’s natures is imperative. Each is so different and what makes one excel can make another stressed.

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  22. My friend wound up getting a trip to Hawaii when her kids were in soccer and they made it into some tryouts. For years when i’d visit, she’d be sporting the new team T-shirt and have scrapbook after scrapbook of her kids playing soccer. 🙂 Now she wear’s “Best Grandma” T-shirts and it’s scrapbook after scrapbook of the grandkids. Oy.

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  23. A lot of people have wondered over the years why I am not at all of my children’s games. But nobody ever asks why my children are not watching me in my gardens. I do go to games I am interested in. I might go to a home baseball game because I enjoy watching baseball and the weather is usually nice. I might go to one basketball game (and stay for the girls and the boys games) and one or two home football games. Maybe one volleyball game. I don’t like the gym with all the noise, but I can sit on the sidelines at a football game and still keep an eye on the small folk, who still need an eye as they proved yesterday….

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  24. I could not afford them as an athlete, I don’t need one as a parent or grandparent. I am amusd when my children tell me they are going to buy themselves a letterman’s jacket. I have the M but never got the jacket and, funny, I never see those jackets being worn.

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  25. When my whole family comes to visit my parents, they usually end up taking up at least three pews – the nephews and nieces usually want to sit with their cousins or another adult relative than their parents. Since, whenever I’m home and in good health, I’m playing for the service, I sit up front by myself. But since that tiny church is mostly empty most Sundays, nobody is displaced. Now, in my city church, it is a different kettle of fish. Normally, I’m in good time and can sit in the stop I find most conducive to hearing and seeing, but if I’m delayed for any reason, it can be a challenge to find a spot. I haven’t resorted to going into one of the old galleries yet, but I see other people up there each Sunday. It does feel very lonely to be a single person searching for a place to sit. The pastor of the city church doesn’t hold with reserved seats – I once heard him relate a story a woman who came to visit the church who was told to move by some regular churchgoers because that was where they sat, and he was righteously indignant over it. There are some old guard in the church which can be very exclusive in mindset, but they are not the rule thankfully, or I wouldn’t keep going.

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  26. Our pastor is always encouraging us to mix it up and not sit where we “usually” sit. And I agree, roscuro, it can be a weird feeling when you’re late and wandering around, trying to find a solitary seat that’s not taken.

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  27. I once attended a church not my own for a special service, maybe a Bach cantata. The sanctuary was quite large, seating two or three hundred people, but every seat was full. Up toward the front I saw room enough for one person, and since there was only one of me and I was maybe 115 pounds, I figured I could sit there. I moved past a couple to take that one spot, and as I sat down, the woman to my right huffily said, “You could sit in the balcony.” Wasn’t the most welcoming moment ever. In fact, until that moment I didn’t know they had a balcony. I figured it was sit in the vacant seat, stand in the back for the whole service, or leave. She made “leave” sound like a good option, but I stayed.

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  28. Well my house has been turned completely topsy turvy and sofas moved and everything arranged so everyone can see the football game. My poor husband doesn’t understand that people are really coming to WATCH the game as INTENSELY as he does… God love his little heart 😉

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  29. Dog park lights guy did his look-through and assessment, will cost about 1/4-1/3 the amount the big company was going to charge, he’ll do it sometime in the next week or so. When we were looking at the porch light fixture Tess all of a sudden joined us — turned out the back gate was ajar. Good thing Cowboy didn’t seem to go with her, he’d have been long gone. She stays close, thankfully.

    What a busy morning, I’m beat. Cleaned up the kitchen, swept the floors, ran the dishwasher, broke down some very heavy amazon boxes (large dog food shipment) on the front porch and got that into the recycle bin. I should take my laptop down to the Apple store, I’ve had problems for several months connecting to the cloud. I did a phone consult with them once, thought it was fixed, but it wasn’t. Then when I was in one of the stores a few months ago I had them try to fix it from my phone (basically the problem is an old email I need to completely “hide” as that’s what’s snagging it all up), they said it was fixed, but it wasn’t.

    Photo ed said best way to fix it is to haul both the laptop & my phone into the store. But I’m afraid they’ll be packed on a Saturday and with the new phones just having come out … And you can’t seem to make genius bar reservations online anymore.

    Carol and I always get to sit in the front pew to the side at Hollywood Presbyterian as that’s a set-aside place for folks with walkers and physical limitations.

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  30. I’ve had a busy day, too. I deep cleaned the living room – it feels so good in there now. It was long overdue – pre-Kaitlyn’s illness until now. Now to tackle the kitchen… ugh. We’ve surfaced cleaned the house over the last few months, concentrating on getting outside work done (like finishing the deck and the garden) before the snow flies. Now it’s time to wash windows and move all the furniture to get the deep clean.

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  31. Jumping in before finishing all the comments to reply to Peter’s question before I forget. . .

    The Boy is currently six years old (but only until October 25). He has been in basketball, soccer, lacrosse, & now football, & he wants to do wrestling. (He will have to decide between basketball & wrestling, as they are at the same time of year, & I don’t think he wants to do lacrosse again.) Oh, & now he is a Cub Scout. 🙂

    In his case, it has nothing to do with his mother pushing him or feeling pressure from other parents. He is the one who wants to participate in these sports. Nightingale also feels that it is good for him to learn some responsibility & discipline (beyond what she teaches him) from the male coaches.

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  32. Well, I have a different pew story. Because our church membership kept shrinking, every Sunday we were asked to move toward the front. The group who sat near me, a hedge podge folks such as an older lady with her caregiver, a single older lady with a walker, a married couple, and whoever else needed a seat did not seem to want to move partly because of the longer walk to the front I assumed. But being able I moved down to the front on one side and now sit on a pew, usually by myself, where the former lady who was WMU leader sat by herself. I always hope for a double blessing of her spirit on me as the new leader. A new couple sat beside me for awhile, but they have moved to the middle. Sometimes church friends sit beside me, but I am content to sit by myself. A long time ago I would have hated it. Now I enjoy the lack of distraction. It feels a bit selfish to actually want to sit by myself. We are encouraged to find someone to sit with who may be by themselves. Even when my husband and I attended his church together, I never got to sit with him because those in the choir loft stayed there for the whole service. I really did not care for that because I wanted to sit with him at church. That is one reason it does not matter to me so much that we attend two different churches.

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  33. Kizzie, I think it is wonderful that The Boy is trying all those sports so he can see what he likes best. Our son did try gymnastics when he was about that age. I had to talk him into it, and he seemed to enjoy it. He got into Scouting when he was older as a Webelo, the oldest group of Cub Scouts.

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  34. I have been buying things for church lately. I found some large pine cones for sale in a basket this week to use for fall decor in the media center window. I bought a second weathertight storage box for the WMU room, and I bought a clock to use in my kitchen to replace one I need to put in the WMU room. Then I found two backpacks to fill with supplies because we do Backpacks for Appalachia. I think that will likely be a WMU project.

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  35. Well, I would have loved (I think) organized sports, especially softball, as a kid but girls were sort of left out of that picture when I was 10 and under. They did finally let the girls play on the softball fields at elementary school — with the boys in one of those rotating games, but only once a week — and the boys hated it, of course.

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  36. OK, I’m done for the day. Dropped off an Amazon return at UPS, stopped to pick something up at the dry cleaners and then made a quick run through the grocery store.

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  37. Tennis, the way to go. But we played pick up ball. You go to the field and see who shows up. Baseball. Basketball. Army. Whatever.

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  38. I have had some fun with eighteen year old today. He did get the brownies I sent him. He asked his roomie if he wanted some brownies, and was told he did. So, son unwrapped them and the mouse fell into his hand. He shrieked and threw it across the room. His roomie wondered what was going on. I am heartily pleased.

    And then he was looking at the Princess phone with a puzzled expression. So, it only needs one cord to plug it in? Yep, just the phone jack. Wow. Yep.

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  39. Janice – Nightingale thinks The Boy would enjoy gymnastics, but it turns out to be much more expensive than the sports are. (I forget why.) But he’s enjoying his sports, so that’s good.

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  40. Back when children used to play with their neighborhood friends, most moms were not working during the week. These days, most children (at least it seems) are in some sort of daycare after school & during school vacations.

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  41. We didn’t have our children in any organized sports – way too expensive and too much driving. Daughter did play basketball on the school team and enjoyed it immensely.

    I ended up having to give Keva a bath. Duke was inside with me and Keva was outside and when I went to let him in, he had been in the slough. So muddy and smelly. Man, it’s hard to bathe a dog by yourself – I’m so glad husband usually does that chore.

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  42. Back from soccer. The boy’s co-ed team lost. But then, they are all just learning the game. The girl’s team played to a 5-5 tie. GD did well for being the youngest on the team. We all went to Burger King afterwards. That was the best time.

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  43. Casserole in the oven for church tomorrow

    It was crowded and noisy at the dog park, but Real Estate Guy was there and gave me a primer on foundation work.

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  44. One last task, some laundry, but a joy (almost) with the new machines. Casserole comes out of the oven in 20 more minutes, trying to find a good movie …

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  45. On Sunday, we generally only walk the dogs to the mailbox and back. Son was asking how far we would walk and I said, it’s Sunday, we only walk to the mailbox. This is the day we like to especially think of how great God is so we rest our bodies more.

    He said he likes the church we are going to better than the old one. We have tried to leave it at the mold issue for him, not saying negatives about the old church. I asked why. He says he likes to hear different speakers (this church allows that) and you can hear God.

    Interesting.

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  46. Game night was a success. The the real fight begins in getting furniture moved back around. I have a huge L shaped sofa that came with Mr. P and a regular sized sofa that belonged to me. We faced them yesterday and moved a club chair. This morning everything is squished up together so Mr. P can watch NFL Football all day. I know him and know he is going to love having that chair and ottoman in the middle of the room facing the TV. It can’t stay that way. There isn’t a good traffic pattern and the room doesn’t “work” long term. I also brought in some tables I don’t like so people would have a place to set drinks and such. He has one by his chair. It can’t stay. I hate it. I don’t have the energy to argue with him right now.
    (I often remind him he is a straight man, thus has no opinion on decor)

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  47. So, I had fun with the grands, glad it is quieter here today. They bought some old phones and things at the yard sale and then wanted to charge them. I let them use my chargers, etc. This morning I went to charge my phone and there are no cords and no chargers. I texted my grandson and he said that he didn’t have them. I think that I need to go visit them. I am pretty sure that his sister just gathered everything up, not thinking that some of it was mine.

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