43 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 1-23-19

  1. Good morning everyone but Jo.
    Good night Jo.

    😦 Every day I get a notice that I haven’t renewed my membership in the Republican party.
    Well? I never had a membership. But they insist that I send them some money.
    Then they will send me a card. That has been going on almost a month now. I don’t know when they will give up.

    I designate all the money I give to Christian causes, no matter how good the others might be. Just too much to get involved. Except for Lions.

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  2. Good morning! I hope everyone had a good night’s rest and for Jo, I hope she gets one.

    It is warmer here, in the 40’s, so with the heat pump system it means it feels cooler inside the house. The heat pump system uses the fan to recirculate the air so it causes a draft or wind chill. When the temps are in the lower 30’s the other “emergency heat” kicks on and we then do not have wind chill. Of course, being in the South means we are in emergency mode when we go below 40°.

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  3. There was much discussion about budgeting yesterday. I don’t mean to sound like the proverbial broken record, but am going all Dave-Ramsey on you again.

    For those of you trying to budget or teach others to, please, please check out his FREE One Dollar app. As he says, you cannot successfully create a standard budget and try to follow it every month. Rather, before the beginning of each month, determine how much money will be coming in that month and then allocate every penny. If you have a variable income, assume your worst month. If you are married, both parties MUST participate in this and agree to the month’s budget and, as he says, “Spit shake and pinky swear” to stick to it. The first few months will require you BOTH to revisit and adjust some categories but before long, you’ll get good at it. You start with the essentials (housing, food, and transportation) and then prioritize and allocate your other expenses. If you are in debt, with whatever is left, pay the minimum payment on everything except your smallest balance and the rest on the smallest until it is paid off. Then repeat with your next smallest balance. Rather than being constricting, a budget like this is actually freeing because it permits you to spend money where you’ve both agreed it can be spent. You can listen to his shows on his website for inspiration, ideas, and hear his answers to budgeting questions.

    6Arrow, after hearing many calls with situations like the one you discussed, I am comfortable telling you that Dave Ramsey would say that your husband is guilty of financial infidelity. Of course if you two were doing a monthly budget, it would never come up. Where a spouse is unwilling to participate, he suggests that rather than starting the conversation with, “This is what we are going to do,” you start by discussing your dreams, goals, and aspirations, and then transition into what it would take to get there.

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  4. 6 Arrows, I don’t know that I would be inclined to speak to the children about this, at least not without talking to your husband. I’d be inclined to tell him that it was unfair of him to involve the children, and to ask him to apologize to your daughter. Point out that he has put you in a difficult spot, and ask if he wants to speak to the children together or let you speak to them alone. (I don’t know that I would trust him to be the one to speak to them by himself.) But that assumes that he is basically trustworthy. But I do think he owes both you and your daughter an apology, and also that it should probably be his responsibility to figure out where the money comes from to repay the gap in the budget (sell another car or two?). It does sound like he is “hoarding” cars and that itself might be a problem.

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  5. Another day off. This time it’s icy roads. There have been several tractor-trailers slide off the roads and blocking traffic. I just wish the call had come ten minutes earlier. I was in the shower and Mrs L had to get up to answer the phone. Oh, well.

    Now I have to get a wet vac because water is getting into the duct work. The house is built into a hill and there is water seeping into the concrete slab somewhere, then getting in the duct work. Every time the heater comes on there is a gurgling sound. Annoying!

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  6. I have no advice for 6 Arrows’ situation, but I was thinking last night about another scenario I read about yesterday, a scenario in which one element made me very concerned – I won’t deal with it now since it is a big topic. But it made me reflect that the biggest weakness of the evangelical Christian Church today is her thinking that if one just does all the right things, everything will go right – and conversely, if things are going wrong, one must be doing things wrong. I look at Scripture, and I do not see that. Indeed, following what is right is likely to make everything else go wrong (Matthew 10:34-36, Luke 12:51-53).

    Ideally, married couples should discuss everything together before one or the other makes a decision. But what if one spouse simply will not talk or will not listen? The modern evangelical Church, with all its teaching about marriage, is reluctant to make allowance for such a reality and feebly insists that there must be some way of resolving the issue if one only tries harder. But Scripture never reproves Abigail for going behind her husband’s back (I Samuel 25:19). Rather, she is called blessed (I Samuel 25:32-33).

    The submission of the wife that is instructed in Ephesians 5:22 and Colossians 3:18 was never meant to extend beyond doing that which is right. That is clear from the rest of Scripture. My Youngest sibling in-law, according to his own mother, has claimed that I Peter 3:5 is saying that if a husband asks a wife to sin, as Abraham asked Sarah to lie, that the wife should obey, a teaching I have seen elsewhere among evangelicals. But the incident that I Peter 3:5 is recounting is not the incidents of lying, but the incident when Sarah called her husband “Lord”, which she did when she followed her husband’s faith and received the three guests and the promise she would have a son by faith (Genesis 18:1-15; Hebrews 11:11). Peter is not talking about a wife obeying her husband in acts of sin, but in acts of faith.

    Indeed, not only Abraham, but also Sarah, were reproved for their lie (Genesis 20:10-16). Lest there should be any doubt that Abraham and Sarah’s joint lie was wrong and is not a pattern for Christian couples to follow – which they might be inclined to do, since Abraham is the father of faith (Romans 4:11) – the events in the beginning of the Church in Acts 5:1-11 make it clear, as Ananias and Sapphira’s joint lie is jointly punished by death. A wife’s responsibility of submission does not extend past that which is right, and doing right may involve doing it alone, as Abigail did.

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  7. No day off here. We did get some snow and some winds are blowing. I noticed seventeen year old did not ride his bike to school and was waiting up by the bus stop. The bus arrived nearly on time. Hard to measure with the drifting but probably only about three or four inches of snow. Of course, that can quickly become three feet on prairie roads as the wind blows snow from the fields onto the lower roads.

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  8. Finances: Twenty two year old tells me she is sticking with Dave Ramsey. I don’t believe her. Does she just go to her phone and somehow find the dave ramsey app? I know nothing of apps and as far as I know, don’t use any on my phone.

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  9. Ugh, Peter. If you are going to have a day off, it would be nice to have no repairs or problems with which to deal. Well, I guess we all know that won’t happen until eternity. 😦

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  10. I’ve pulled a night shift today — going out with volunteers & social workers for the county’s annual “homeless count.” The counts are held either before dawn or after sunset (after 8 p.m. typically) so those on the streets are “in” for the night.

    It did get me out of having to get up at 6 a.m. to go interview parents and kids returning to school today after the strike, so there was that. 🙂 And it felt good to “sleep in” in the middle of the week. Tonight also shouldn’t go too awfully late, we are not obligated to stay with our group the entire night (I’m assuming the photographer will be with us), but maybe spend an hour to 90 minutes or so to get enough to write a story.

    A fellow reporter gave me the name of his neighborhood pop-and-sons car repair garage that he’s been using for years so I think I’ll give them a try since I seem again to be without a steady mechanic for the Jeep. They’re also open on Saturdays which will help with my schedule. And it’s not very far from where I live, but I’ll still have to arrange for rides to and from either from work or home (it’s kind of in between those two places).

    For now, I need to get a couple loads of laundry done before I start work around 1 or so today.

    Kizzie or others who also may be watching, “This is Us” is such a good program, no? 🙂 TV really can “get it right.”

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Annie was insistent on sleeping on top of me last night but I was a bit restless so had to roll her off several times. She finally gave up on me and went off to find her own spot to sleep. It has been pretty cold at night here, we’re back into a Santa Ana wind pattern so it’s also very dry (which makes it colder this time of year).

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  12. plenty of rain here. The sinkhole under the basketball court is quite large. We will be listening to jackhammers for a while. Of course it is a covered basketball court! so, they unscrewed the post in that corner so it wouldn’t pull everything down, instead the rest is holding that post up.

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  13. From yesterday’s thread:

    Peter, thanks for the free Spanish lesson. 🙂 I don’t know enough about foreign languages to recognize when certain information needs rebutting, but I’ll admit that I was a little skeptical of the name of the blog from which that link came: the Take Our Word For It blog.

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  14. From yesterday’s thread carrying over into today:

    Roscuro, 10:38, I’ve read/heard that so many times, as well; the idea that if one person in a marriage would just try harder to be perfect, everything will be great. Debi Pearl’s exhortation to wives along those lines, so that a couple can have a “heavenly” marriage, comes to mind as one of the particularly egregious examples put forth as biblical.

    Also, there was a book the Pearl’s sold — by another author, whose name I no longer recall, but the title was Me? Obey Him? — in which a hypothetical situation involving a husband wanting his Christian wife to get an abortion was mentioned.

    The author’s advice was for married women in a situation like that to pray, to perhaps respectfully appeal to your husband, but that was all it said. There was no reference to “We must obey God rather than man” or anything else that clearly instructed the wife that she must disobey her husband, who was commanding an act against God’s will. With the book’s ambiguous non-answer to the question of whether a wife should get an abortion that her husband wants her to get, one can only conclude that the mantra repeated throughout the rest of the book — obey your husband in everything — ultimately holds true in the abortion situation, too, if prayer and respectful appeal don’t change his mind.

    Reading that just about made me sick. I eventually threw the book in the trash. I wouldn’t want anyone else reading that.

    Cheryl, 9:25, thanks for your thoughts. I’ll write to you later about some of my thoughts on your thoughts. 🙂 (And I do see an email from you in my inbox, to which I’ll respond eventually.)

    Linda, 7:21, I was hoping you’d go all Dave-Ramsey on us again. 😉 I will recommend that ap to my oldest four, who have jobs and smart phones. Thanks for mentioning it.

    As far as my husband is concerned, his dreams, goals, and aspirations for the future are largely non-existent. He’s so consumed with his present life, he can’t get beyond it to think about the future much at all. (Though he does have life insurance and a 401k, so he’s done some planning.) But mainly now he’s just wishing he didn’t have to struggle so much with lack of time and funds. But that is the reality due to his money-managing (lack thereof) choices and his compulsively taking on way too many responsibilities that he could delegate to others instead of doing himself because no one else does it right or fast enough, in his opinion. Micromanaging is putting a lot of strain on himself. (Funny how that is, when the money-management situation is just about the polar opposite.)

    With regard to financial infidelity: I’d never heard that term before, but it is an apt description of what’s been happening here for several years now.

    However, I saw progress today.

    Our washing machine has been on its last leg for a while — 10 years with a family of 6 to 8 household members [i.e. tons of laundry] will do that to a washer — and he’s had to replace the bearings two or three times in recent years. He decided about a week ago that it was time to get a new washer, so went shopping for one by himself, decided what he wanted, and then told me what he was planning to buy.

    But… (is this a result of prayer?) he changed his mind about that machine and invited me to be in on the final decision about what type of washer to purchase. So we went together to an appliance business this morning and looked at a Speed Queen he thought would be good, which he had seen on one of his previous visits alone. He wanted to make sure I was on board with it. And I am.

    That is progress, that he’s informing me and accepting input from me before making a major purchase. Today I felt more like a wife, a suitable helper to him, than I have felt for a long time, because he let me function in what I feel is the primary role God ordained for me.

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  15. While scrolling down I saw the post @5:05 and thought 6 was quoting Bible passages, until I stopped and read it. I mean “Roscuro, 10:38” looks like a Bible address at first glance.

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  16. So, financial questions. I have had no interest in our financial situation in quite some time. Husband does a fine job, even if it is not done the way I would do it. As you know, we are thinking of buying the house next door to daughter, following Chas’ example of setting up before it is seriously needed. We started in October, I believe. Husband had everything in order to sign before heading out with his family. However…the bank said, “Oh, yes, you also have to have a water sample analyzed”. So husband got that done and wondering if the results might not be done in time for him to sign, followed the bank’s direction and got a power of attorney for me to sign for him as well as signing for myself. The results did not come in so we did not sign before he left. Now I got an email from the bank telling me that as of last Monday, the bank no longer honors power of attorney for this sort of transaction. And, by the way, the time for the fixed interest rate will run out if we don’t sign by the end of the month but we can get an extension for about eight hundred dollars that will last fifteen days, if I sign for it by Friday. I cannot consult Husband, or our tax finance person (his sister) who is cruising with him. What say you?

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  17. Mumsee, when will you have contact with him? I would think that you could ask the bank if you can have until Monday (or whenever you need) as you cannot reach your husband right now. I don’t know why you’d be paying for an extension for them to hold a loan you haven’t even taken out, though.

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  18. He is out of contact and they know it, which is why they suggested the power of attorney, before changing their policy.

    The extension would be to keep the agreed upon interest written into the papers beyond the time in which the papers were to be signed.

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  19. Good news is that two cute little lambs arrived at noon today and were up and about following momma when I went out for chores at two thirty. NancyJill? Cute or what? I, of course, took pics but can’t send them.

    Liked by 3 people

  20. someone on our Next Door page wrote that “Trees are dropping like flies!”

    What an odd mental image.

    (The heavy rains combined with heavy winds now are toppling a lot of trees; but Charlie Brown stands strong)

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  21. My niece, the one with autism, is applying to do her Master’s degree in astrobiology at McMaster University! She’s pretty excited. Hope she gets in.

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  22. Mumsee, if the power of attorney was their suggestion, then they need to honor it or wait till he is available. If they are refusing to honor it but asking you to pay more money, I would be discinclined to trust them and pay money to them without your husband’s agreement. In other words, that smells fishy to me.

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  23. Linda – Nightingale uses some Dave Ramsey methods, including budgeting each month the way you described. I’m not sure if he suggests this or not, but what she does (and Hubby did) is also put away a specific chunk of money each month that will go to those bills that come annually or semi-annually (or quarterly, as our water bill does). I keep my share of those non-monthly bills in mind, too, when I “pay” myself my monthly allotment from the life insurance, leaving in savings the money that needs to be saved for them.

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  24. 6Arrows. He asked you to go because he knew he upset you. He gave you a carrot to appease you but nothing will change.
    He should sell some vehicles and put the money away in a joint savings.

    Of course I am pretty cynical right now so ….

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  25. What are their names?

    OK, I’m off to count the homeless … Or to tag along with those who are counting the homeless, more accurately

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  26. Mumsee, are you sure you cannot contact your husband at all? Lots of those things can be done with FAX machines or online. I would hate to be out of contact that much in case of emergencies.

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  27. Good morning everyone but Jo
    nite-nite Jo.
    Donna, I saw on TV last night that there were more registered voters in LA than adults.

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