49 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 4-10-17

  1. I’m reading a book called The Deplorables Guide by Todd Starnes.
    He discusses the transgender issue and the issues it has raised, Always concerning young people. I have noticed that every single one, ne exceptions, has involved men intruding into women’s facilities. Not any, so far, case of a woman in a man’s.

    I said long ago that this would be the case. Men won’t care. If a women enters a man’s restroom, he will watch with curiosity how she uses the urinal. And if she goes to their shower, several guys will offer to wash her back.
    It is always an issue of men in a woman’s facility.
    I don’t understand how women put up with that.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Chas, women don’t put up with that. The whole concept spells danger to a woman. I said when this whole thing started that if a woman sees a man in a women’s room, she thinks one of two things: either he came in accidentally and will back out red-faced the moment he recognizes, or he’s a rapist and she is in serious danger. Now, he may not be a rapist–he may be an exhibitionist, or mentally ill or mentally retarded. But a woman’s first and strongest thought is that he is a rapist, especially if it is an isolated rest room and he and she are the only ones in it.

    And when we tell women and girls “Pretend like this is normal and pretend like this is really a girl,” we are telling them “Ignore your built-in caution for your own safety.”

    This may be a poor illustration, but it’s along the same lines. Years ago I read that black people hate it that when white people in cars see them on the street, they (the black people) can hear doors getting locked. Now, I have empathy enough to understand why that might get annoying. At the same time, young black men really and truly are a potential danger. It isn’t about the individual, it is reality. In Chicago a couple of times I got into my car and, as I was about to lock my door (which I do automatically) I saw a black person and second-guessed myself lest I hurt his feelings. And I had to tell myself to forget what I had heard about people getting their feelings hurt; it simply was not my problem. Locking my doors was the right, safe thing to do, and any smart person knows it. Now, yesterday my husband went by the post office to pick up the church’s mail, and he always tells me to lock the door; yesterday he didn’t tell me, but I just remembered and did it anyway. And a spilt-second after I did it, I saw a black man in the parking lot heading my direction (in order to go to the door of the post office), and I wondered if he thought I locked it because of him even though, in fact, I locked it before I saw him. But I know how the mind works–if you think white people lock their doors because they’re afraid of you, then you hear all the door-locking you probably wouldn’t even notice otherwise. But for me to second-guess my “instinct” to lock the door when I get in the car or to back out of that restroom immediately if a man is in there is to potentially put myself in grave danger, no matter whose feelings might get hurt.

    And teachers who are told they can’t tell twelve-year-old boys to stay out of the girls’ room are being told that girls don’t need protection from such boys, and that simply is not true.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I completely agree with Cheryl on this. Everyone has a little voice that tells them they should be careful and we shouldn’t train ourselves to ignore it.
    On the one hand I am sure that cross dressers have been using them women’s rest room for a long time. I don’t see why this had to be made a public issue and I don’t see why we had to have a special law for it. I once had a guy I dated escort me in to the men’s restroom because he felt like the gas station where we were wasn’t safe. He came and got me out of the line to the women’s restroom and told me to come with him. He stood outside the stall and escorted me back out. I don’t know what he saw that spooked him but I trusted him in that situation.
    I also had the experience of stopping at an interstate rest area and the feet in the stall next to me were pointed the wrong direction. There were only two of us in there and I got out as quickly as I possibly could.
    We are saying right is wrong and left is right…no wonder our young are so confused. To tell your child anymore that “That isn’t done” opens the question of why and they have the government and all the open minded people on there side…”Because I said so” doesn’t get you very far anymore.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Cheryl’s mentioning of men backing out red faced reminded me of an event at the Naval War College. We were having some affair, and I, without thinking, barged into a rest room. It was a ladies, and I was shocked. . They must have noticed because they were laughing as I exited.

    My car automatically locks the doors and releases the parking brake when I shift into drive. The Ranger doesn’t.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Short week for me as I’m taking Good Friday off — I’m hoping the driveway will be finished before then, guess it depends on how long it takes to get those pavers property set in sand. Driveway Boss has to take his mom to a doctor’s appt this morning so they won’t be starting until around 11 a.m.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Good Morning! I lock my car doors…when I am at an intersection I automatically look to see if they are locked. A friend had gone to the Mayo Clinic last month in AZ and visited a local church there. She was in line in the ladies restroom and noticed a man dressed as a woman two in front of her…so happened they ended up in adjoining stalls…sure enough the red high heels were pointed towards the toilet. I avoid public restrooms at all cost…it’s an OCD thing with me…but when you gotta go you gotta go…it’s rare for me to use a public restroom!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. My bike does not lock its doors or let off the parking brake. But we went for a nice spin yesterday. Just a bike check trip to see how the little folk’s bikes made it through winter. One of them (bike) we got from next to a dumpster a few years ago. We got youngest’s that way as well but she has since outgrown it and the next one. Someday, she may get a store bike, but as she is the youngest, she has a long line of bikes to get through first.

    Liked by 5 people

  8. My taxes are done but I also tend to procrastinate about doing that.

    I’m always glad when this stretch of year is over with — it’s when my homeowners’ insurance and property taxes and car registration are all due (although car reg is going down significantly now that the Jeep is 10 years old).

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I dislike this time of the year as well DJ….homeowner insurance and taxes…and the federal/state taxes….kind of depletes the bank acct for a while! Then the car insurance comes in June….after that it is relatively smooth sailing…until next year! πŸ™‚


  10. Re: Locked car doors.
    You can;’t open the back door of Chuck’s car from the inside until he releases it from the driver’s position.
    Small children, you know. I didn’t know of that facility until I came here.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I once mistakenly went into the ladies room at a local bowling alley. My first thought was when did they redo the men’s room, and why pink? πŸ™‚

    Then it hit me, and like Cheryl said, I backed out rather quickly, beet red and embarrassed. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 4 people

  12. I made the mistake of moving to Nashville the very end of April, figuring I was starting up as a freelance editor May 1. Well, estimated taxes aren’t due precisely quarterly, but in January, April, June, and September. So April to June is two quick payments, and with the timing of my move I managed to move car fees (plates, insurance, AAA) in there too. And since my busy months were May and June, generally I wasn’t really getting the income to pay for those spring expenses until sometime in June and July. It meant borrowing from the home equity line of credit just about every year, and hoping that next year I’d finally have a cushion again . . .


  13. I like that feature on cars. I have had children that did not have the good sense to not play with the handle so having a child lock was good.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I am sure the whole camp in is mourning. It seems to hurt us worse when they are young. I saw the photos on FB. She was so vibrant and seemed filled with so much—joy?
    I think all of us here sort of made a connection to her through you and have been blessed by our knowledge of her; how she lived, and the grace in which she died.
    Thank you for letting us know her through you.

    Liked by 5 people

  15. Yes, Kaitlyn was filled with joy. Not all the time, but she knew that her foundation was Christ and her one and only tattoo was G>^v – God is greater than the ups and downs.

    Liked by 6 people

  16. Ugh. I just had to fill out the on line questionaire to be on a US District Court Jury. They must have heard that anyone smart enough to serve on a jury is smart enough to get out of it. They had very specific questions and didn’t give room for explanation.
    1. I believe in capital punishment and don’t understand why we don’t have public hangings and/or firing squads.
    2. I can look at a person and tell if they are guilty.
    3. “I don’t like people who don’t look and tawk lack me. They’s spicious. That’s what they is.”
    4. I believe everything Fox News and Rush Limbaugh says.
    5. I voted for Gary Johnson or Jill What’s Her Name. Of course I could have made a mistake and voted for either Clinton or Trump. I was real confused that day.

    Of course you know me and know that the above is all in jest. I am naturally nosey and may enjoy it.

    Guy is going to have a fit if I get called.

    Liked by 3 people

  17. From last night: Cheryl said, “BTW, bats are notorious for not returning their census forms, so you should estimate high to make up for the lazy ones.”

    Well, the census I did was estimates, since we were watching for bats leaving the mine entrances. The problem is, bats fly back and forth a lot, so we didn’t count the ones going back in. For all I know, the 100 or so I counted in 3 hours might have been 20 bats going in and out. I think they went back in the winter and counted clusters of bats for a more accurate estimate.


  18. Kare, I missed reading the updates from yesterday. So sad for all who knew and loved Kaitlyn, yet so thankful that the Lord gave her the ticket (reference to Corrie Ten Boom’s story) when it was time. The valley of the shadow of death is a fearful place, and it is comforting to know that someone we love faced it with the Good Shepherd, who has already walked it. Allow yourself some time to grieve. Death, even of someone whom we know died in hope, is too terrible to be able to be pushed into the background of our lives. Lazarus was ‘only’ a friend of Jesus, and yet Jesus still wept.

    Liked by 6 people

  19. One of my aunts once went to the public restroom. When she was washing her hands, a man came in, looked at her quizzically, and asked if she did this all the time. She went out and looked at the door – sure enough, she had entered the men’s room by mistake. It is something I’m always afraid of doing. Some of the approaches to public restrooms in buildings resemble labyrinths.

    I greatly dislike using public washrooms. It runs in the family, as my maternal grandfather would not use public washrooms – I’ve always wondered if that was due to the semi-aristocratic influence of his upper class mother (who was disowned for marrying beneath her). My mother was much the same as her father, and wouldn’t drink while in school to avoid having to use the bathroom. The privacy offered by the stalls is minimal at best. There’s a name for the inability to urinate in a public washroom, called paruresis. I have experienced the phenomena. I’ve learned to work around it, but it is still there. Not even the extreme challenge of finding a decent washroom while traveling in West Africa has completely cured me of the problem. So public washrooms are already a place where I feel exposed and stripped of my privacy.

    Being on the campus of a university which is about as progressive as it gets (in one of the older buildings, there was a sign for while saying that the gender neutral bathroom was downstairs), I can honestly say that I’ve yet to see someone who appears transgender using the washroom of their chosen gender. In fact, in all my travels about the province and country, I’ve yet to see it. I’m sure it happens, but I’ve not been witness to it. I’ve seen only a couple of obviously transgender persons – it is hard to disguise a manly bone structure under a dress. I’ve also encountered a couple of cross dressers, which is not necessarily the same thing. One young man in college had the hair and beard of a Viking (he would actually braid his beard in the manner one sees depicted in popular Viking films) and sometimes would wear very masculine looking skirts. It didn’t really shock me, because, after all, a skirt (or at least a very long shirt) on a man is quite Medieval in tone. I found it mildly amusing as he hung out with a group of equally oddly attired friends, including a girl with multiple piercing and multiple chains dangling from the piercings, and they seemed to enjoy experimenting with how outrageously clothed one could be. However, he used the men’s washroom, so far as I’m aware – never saw him in the ladies room. The other crossdresser broke my heart when I heard the story behind his clothing. I would occasionally see him on the bus when I went to night classes for a couple of years while staying with my aunt and uncle. I was made aware of his presence due to the stench of urine, but it was his obviously feminine attire which held my glance. One of my teachers in school had occasion to mention him as he was well known by sight in the community, and she knew the story – he had lived all his life with his sister, and when his sister died, his grief overcame him and he began wearing her clothes. My experiences with the kind of clothing men and women wear in West Africa, with the men’s long flowing robes, sometimes heavily embroidered and often pink or lavender or any other colour considered somewhat feminine in the West, has further made me cautious when it comes to judging someone by their clothing.

    In my tiny family church, there is a family who has been attending for a while now, in which the husband has declared his intention to transition to a woman and is currently in the hormone stage of treatment. So far, the bathrooms have not been an issue. It is a heartbreaking situation for the wife and child, as they have no desire to lose the husband and father. However, in choosing to transition, and thus eventually forcing the wife into a lesbian relationship, the husband is effectively breaking the marriage covenant. This issue might be political fodder for politicians who grandstand in order to look progressive or conservative, depending on whom they are appealing to, but for those dealing with it in real life, it is ugly, messy, and agonizingly real. It is not something which can be dealt with by glib answers or bombastic declarations.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I was standing at a counter reading a magazine in a laundry mat. I was the only person in the place, when I suddenly heard the door open. It was a small place and the door was hidden from me by the large dryers. Nevertheless, I immediately was put on notice when I heard the door. I grabbed my purse, which was on the counter and watched for whomever was coming around that corner. Our eyes met when I had my purse in the air. It happened to be a black man and I could see in his eyes that he thought I was moving it because he was black. Of course, I can’t read minds, so I said nothing. He didn’t either, but later there was a newspaper report about the racism the young black men going to college in this area felt. He relayed this incident as an example. I meant to write a letter to the editor, but didn’t in a timely fashion and decided not to do so. I should have, however.

    I was working with my past experiences and distrusted being alone in a place as a small woman. He probably had experienced racism. We may have both benefitted from talking to one another, but neither felt free in that small, isolated space.

    Interestingly, I did know a woman who worked with many of these students and she found that where many of these young men came from determined their own prejudices with one another. If they were from Chicago, for example, they might hate the ones from Texas. When this woman pointed out that, that was prejudice, she said the students just shrugged.


  21. As Kim said, transgender people have been using their chosen restrooms for years, & most of us were none the wiser.

    When it is obvious that it is a man dressed as a woman, or a woman dressed as a man, that is when it becomes a problem. But there are many, many transgender people who look exactly like the sex they want to be, & would cause more of a stir trying to use the bathroom of their true sex.

    For instance, I know that my niece’s “husband” is female by birth, but she looks just like a man to me anyway. It’s amazing what testosterone shots & surgery can do. (I don’t say that as a good thing.)

    Although I refer to her as female here, with female pronouns, I use her preferred name & pronouns around others in the family. Nightingale says she knows I don’t agree with transgenderism (is that even a word?), but she says I treat & talk about “Aaron” with respect, & she respects me for that.


  22. I totally understand the initial reaction of caution when someone who looks different approaches you in a situation which, either through other’s reports or one’s own experiences, signals potential danger to you. However, usually one’s second thoughts can analyze the person’s body language more accurately to rule out the threat or confirm it. In my experience, the people to watch out for are the ones who are either high on drugs and/or drunk, or who are looking for that high; and almost all of the drug addicts and drunks I’ve ever encountered were of European descent. In contrast, almost all the black men I’ve encountered were respectful – there were a few men accustomed to European tourists who attempted to proposition me in West Africa, but they were the exception, and it wasn’t as if I felt threatened by them, merely annoyed. Once or twice in the inner city, I’ve seen ‘gangs’ of young men of different ethnic backgrounds attired like gangsters, but I’ve avoided any encounters with them. As I’ve said before, my close encounters with organized crime involved decidedly white people. There was once long ago, in inner city Indianapolis, when we had to hit the car locks due to a black youth – but then, he was actually trying to open the door and appeared to be high.


  23. I’ve witnessed, while traveling on the bus, both unnecessarily prejudicial behaviour on the part of people who should know better, as well as people who assumed the worst of someone’s motives – only this time it was about religious affiliation, rather than skin colour. The first incident involved a woman, dressed in conservative Muslim attire (her face wasn’t covered, but the rest was) pushing a baby carriage. I saw the bus driver adjusting his mirror after she got on and sat down, and it suddenly occurred to me that he was adjusting it so he could watch her. Then I thought, that’s ridiculous. However, when the driver readjusted the mirror immediately after the woman exited the bus, I was pretty much confirmed that my first impression was correct. The second incident involved a female bus driver. When I got on the bus, holding up my pass as I normally do, she stopped me so she could actually take it and look at it. I gathered it was her standard practice, as she did it as well to those who came on after me. Well, several bus stops later, three young whippersnappers got on and sat down near me. They had received the same scrutiny as regarded their passes, and they said the bus driver must have done it because they were Arabic. I wouldn’t have known their ethnic origin to look at them, as a teenage Arab looks very much like a teenage Hispanic, or perhaps Sicilian or Greek. It was an unfortunate conclusion for them to draw, but knowing from experience how young teenage boys do not readily listen to their elders (their voices were still changing), I judged it futile to attempt a correction – also, I’m not the kind that readily engages in conversation with strangers on the bus.


  24. I am back from another bike ride. Made it all the way up the hill. I assured my husband I would not be able to do that for a few days. He assured me I could. He was right. Have I ever mentioned how perfect my husband is for me? It is like he was hand selected by Somebody.

    Liked by 4 people

  25. I have shown my prejudiced side. Once when I was out walking my dogs at night while living in a city, I saw a young man walking by with a stop sign. I immediately thought he had stolen it. But what do I know? He may have been taking it home for repairs. I did notice the stop sign was missing from a nearby corner.


  26. Agree with Kizzie, transgender people usually blend in surprisingly well with their chosen sex.

    Kim, congrats on your new governor getting rid of the old one. πŸ™‚ Politicians. Sheesh.

    Mumsee, I’m impressed, uphill is not easy.

    Pavers set for delivery Thursday morning. There will be some left over. Another (smallish) project for those perhaps?

    Carol’s in another financial bind. I said “Good luck with that.”

    Liked by 3 people

  27. Kim’s ex-governor – “wholesome (and) grandfatherly”



    … The 74-year-old former dermatologist was an unlikely choice to rise to the state’s top job. The little-known state legislator surprised many in Alabama politics by making it to a runoff for the governor’s race in 2010. In a state familiar with corruption, Bentley leaned heavily on his wholesome, grandfatherly demeanor β€” he was a deacon and Sunday school teacher at a Baptist church in Tuscaloosa, which Mason also attended. Despite struggling to achieve any significant legislative accomplishment, in his 2014 reelection race, Bentley won the largest percentage of the vote β€” 63 percent β€” of any modern-day Republican governor in Alabama. …


  28. From the link:
    Under the plea deal, Bentley will face up to a year of probation and 100 hours of community service, which he is expected to perform in his capacity as a licensed dermatologist.
    What?! His community service is to see patients about skin conditions?! I don’t think patients are going to be comfortable having their skin examined by someone who lost their job over an affair.

    Also, he was a deacon and Sunday school teacher at a Baptist church in Tuscaloosa… Ouch.


  29. She why when you all first met me I was so cynical about politicians and especially Baptist ones. 3 od our last 6 governors have left office amid scandal.
    He is disgusting. The transcripts, texts, and voice mails make your skin crawl. But being a dermatologist I am sure he can prescribe something for that.
    Remember folks a wife doesn’t just walk away after 50 years.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Oh and the unanswered question is Mason’s husband’s role in this. Did he pimp his wife out for monetary gain? Did the target the Old Geezer and play him for a fool?


  31. I used to hear him on one of our local Christian radio stations, not sure if he’s still doing that show or not. But this was interesting:


    Famed Evangelical Hank Hanegraaff, β€˜The Bible Answer Man,’ joins Orthodox Church


    … According to this blog post, he was received into the Orthodox church through chrismation in Charlotte, North Carolina, along with his wife and two of his 12 children.

    Perhaps understandably, not everyone is greeting this news with great joy. …


  32. Whoa, that’s sad news, Donna. I used to hear him in Nashville, till finally I got frustrated: the show was quite predictable, and almost never was he answering a difficult question. Also he’d answer a question with his own theological opinion a lot of the time. But that would seem to indicate that the depth of his knowledge of Scripture might indeed not have been there . . .


  33. Very frustrating night — my neighbor has taken it upon himself to supervise the driveway project, wanted to talk to me when I got home about problems he sees in the work that’s being done and wanted me to know all about that. I know he means well, but I trust the people I hired and think some of these guys just like to second-guess each other since they’d do things differently with different tools, etc.

    Then I received some of that “Root Kill” I’d ordered to use in my sewer, but the lid to the bottle had come off during shipping and the blue chemical pellets (which later I read you’re not supposed to come into direct contact with, you or your pets, too late for that) spilled out into the shipping envelope, and, in turn, flew all over the living room floor when I opened the envelope.

    It took an hour to sweep it up and then to gather and collect the random pieces I kept finding by hand (I’ve washed my hands several times) to try to re-bottle it all. Left a complaint with Amazon, the seller really needs to secure those lids. What a mess.

    OK. I may just go to bed now even though it’s only 8:10. 😦


  34. Oh, and then there was the oft-repeated anti-gun discourse I had to listen to from a colleague (this is his favorite hobby-horse issue, every time there’s a shooting he climbs up onto that tired old horse and launches into his usual bitter complaint: “Everyone has a gun in this country” and “No one ever does anything about guns after these shootings” and “No one will do anything after this one either” and “What’s the use in this country” and on and on).




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