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Our Daily Thread 10-29-13

Good Morning!

On this day in 1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA.

In 1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was founded.

In 1929 America’s Great Depression began with the crash of the Wall Street stock market.

In 1966 the National Organization for Women was founded.

And in 1969 the U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all school segregation.

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Quote of the Day

“Never wear anything that panics the cat.” 😯

P. J. O’Rourke

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Today is Michael Passons’ birthday.

It’s also Denny Laine’s, who played with the Moody Blues and these guys, from Eagle Rock Entertainment.

Slim pickings on birthdays today, so here’s a newer Michaels Passons with Point of Grace.

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Anyone have a QoD?

38 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 10-29-13”

  2. Morning all. October is winding down. We will not be celebrating Halloween, so it is a quiet time this week. The following week we do have a Saturday carnival at the high school. Have you ever seen a hand propelled ferris wheel?? The high school guys turn it and it has four seats.

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  3. Has anyone ever visited Pennsbury Manor, WIlliam Penn’s colonial house? I remember going there on a school field trip in the 50s and loving it. I’m planning on taking the grandbabies when they get old enough to appreciate it.

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  5. I am still alive. A hot bath with Epsom salts helped Still more to get from the attic if the other house. Then we have to clean it! Thankfully I have a closing tomorrow. Life is good.

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  10. Always liked William Penn.

    I like the quote of the day, too. 🙂

    I seriously could have kept on sleeping this morning. We had more rain last night … and it’s so dark still in the mornings … Looking forward to our extra hour of sleep this weekend.

    2nd day in a row I don’t have to report for jury duty so it’s off to work.

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  11. Good Morning, Y’all!

    Kim…a soak should help! Did you get my message in yesterday’s daily thread?

    I should have stayed home today…I don’t feel very good…

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  12. If any of you is looking to plant some tree, these two lists of trees NOT to plant might prove useful.

    I disagree on the mulberry, though. He’s outright wrong about some things (for example, the male produces pollen and the female fruit, not both in one tree), I don’t think the root system stuff is necessarily true, and he completely ignores some very real positives: It’s a great climbing tree and birds love the berries. Some varieties of mulberries even make good pies (someone brought us one when I was a teenager, and I was skeptical that it would be good, but I think it was). So, if you plant it to get birds and away from cars or patios that those birds might stain purple, it can still be a good tree. We had three females in our backyard when I was a child, and one male in our front yard, and all but one (the smallest) was a good, climbable tree. One of the females was cut down when I was fairly young, but we’d get a few berries ourselves off the others, and eat them on vanilla ice cream. They weren’t the best fruit ever, but they were good and they were free. And I think they’re the reasons mockingbirds came readily to our yard. In other regions, more colorful birds love mulberries. So they have their good points. Birds do leave bright purple stains after eating them, though, so they should be planted a good distance from anything that might get pooped on; don’t use one to shade your driveway or your patio. Anyway, these lists look useful, and I sent them to my brother who wants to build houses for a living.

    http://www.houselogic.com/photos/plants-trees/bad-trees/slide/1-silver-maple-acer-saccharinum/#1-silver-maple-acer-saccharinum

    http://www.houselogic.com/photos/plants-trees/trees-to-avoid/slide/gingko-gingko-biloba/

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  13. Ok. Dumb question from a clueless idiot (apparently).

    Is it inappropriate for a married man to compliment, for her appearance, a married woman who is not his wife? Does it cross a boundary?

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  14. Hope you feel better soon IBNO. I hope it isn’t the flu.

    It’s a beautiful day in Atlanta. It was beautiful weather in Las Vegas, too. We stayed at the J.W. Marriott which does have a casino I walked through numerous times to get from the hotel room to the conference rooms. We also dined at the restaurant which sat right beside and above the casino. I do not like the smoky atmosphere and my nose was really irritated by that and the air travel so my sniffer is still trying to get back to normal. I said some silent prayers for those in the hotel who are addicted to gambling. I think all the commotion in the casinos is a bit much for an introvert. I can not imagine having to work in such a place. Other than the casino, the resort was the perfect place for a relaxing get away for a couple.

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  15. MIM, I think it would depend upon the nature of the compliment and how it is conveyed. I think something like, “I like your outfit. Blue is a good color for you,” is okay. I remember a man at church said that to me and it was fine. There are always lines between what is appropriate and what is not. I hope you did not go toward the edge or have someone go toward the edge in complimenting your wife’s appearance.

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  16. Cheryl, I looked at those trees and when I saw the Black Walnut I was reminded of my father. He knew of a Black Walnut not too far from our home (beside the road that was by our neighborhood railroad track). No one paid attention to the tree except my dad who would take us out to gather the bounty. I loved that black walnut flavor. They were so hard to crack and get the nut meats out though. We also picked blackberries near the rail tracks, too. So you gave me a fond memory of my father for today.

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  17. No Janice, it was worse. I complimented another woman on her (many years old) wedding picture… The exact words on Facebook were: “Dramatic beauty!

    My dear wife didn’t take it very well, and I know she thinks it was inappropriate… I’m just trying to understand.

    Like I said, apparently I’m an idiot.

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  18. And don’t bother trying to find the comment. I have removed it, and unfriended all the local women I know.

    This will NOT happen again. Even the most obtuse people can learn wisdom given enough pain.

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  20. MiM, I saw that comment yesterday and didn’t think anything of it. However, if my husband had done the same thing, it probably would have bothered me, even though I know he didn’t mean ‘anything’ by it. Hope that helps 🙂

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  21. MiM,

    And now you know why I post little on Facebook. Too many opportunities to screw up or say something you’ll regret, even when it’s said with the best intentions.

    And deleting it doesn’t matter, somebody somewhere screen shotted that baby. Hopefully, that somebody wasn’t your wife…… 😯

    🙂

    And yes people, I’m aware that shotted is not a word. Yet it fits.

    Cheryl,

    When I was a kid we wandered the wooded area near the river all summer. We would always eat mulberries when we found them ripe. 🙂

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  24. MIM,

    I still remember two compliments men gave me about my appearance years ago. One was a single man, and when I was wearing a black dress with roses all over it, he told me, “You look like a flower garden in that dress!” Since he was single, and since I knew it wasn’t a come-on, it was an excellent compliment.

    Another time, a married man told me, “That’s a really pretty dress.” That was an acceptable compliment (it was about the dress, and not “how I looked” in the dress), and I told him thank you. But his next words were out of line, because he went on to say wistfully, “I wish my wife would wear dresses sometime.” Being compared positively to his wife (even though he probably wasn’t thinking and didn’t “mean it that way”) creeped me out a little.

    I think what would make the difference (if it was my husband) was how old the photo was and the age of the woman now. If my husband looked at the wedding photo of someone much older than us and said, “Wow, what a gorgeous bride you were!” it wouldn’t bother me at all. If he said, “That was a really beautiful wedding dress” to someone our age, it wouldn’t bother me at all. Likewise, it wouldn’t bother me to have him compliment the beauty of someone young enough to be our daughter (if he didn’t dwell on it and go on and on). But if she was our age or a few years younger, and he complimented even an old photo, I’d be inclined to think, “Does he see her as prettier than I am?” Or at least I might. (Since he’s the first man who has ever called me beautiful, and since he regularly praises other qualities he sees in me, I’m confident that I’m the one who has his eye. And I’ve never wasted a lot of energy comparing my beauty to that of other women. But it’s easy for women in our culture to see someone else as prettier, or to wonder if our husband does.)

    One thing I will say: My sister and I talked about this years ago, that women notice one another’s beauty, and it’s hardly fair to expect men not to notice that a woman is pretty. (Men are the more visual sex, and women’s beauty is meant to be attractive to men.) So my sister would say aloud, “She’s really pretty” and maybe (I’m not sure about this) tell her husband it was OK if he did. I will say the same if I see a pretty woman, kinda verbally reaffirming that I’m not intimidated by the fact that other women are beautiful, that it’s OK to “notice.” But really, this is a very deep insecurity for many, many American women.

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  26. I don’t remember, but I have likely complimented other women in the presence of my wife.
    She knows I like pretty girls.
    She knows she is in no danger.
    It has never been an issue.

    Every Sunday, in church we usually sit by a young couple.
    In mentioning her, if I forget her name (which is often) i say, “the pretty girl”.

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  27. I remember years ago when a man gave rave reviews on a dinner I made. He pointed out to his wife what made it ‘superior’ to her recipe. I was very uncomfortable and I know she was not happy either.

    I notice that spouses often are quick to compliment others more than their own spouses. It is easy to take your spouse for granted. That may be part of what is upsetting to your wife, MIM. When was the last time, you told her you think she is beautiful or looks good in something? Perhaps that is way off course. Only you would know.

    I see nothing wrong with your compliment myself. Nor would it upset me to have my husband say that.

    OTOH, I can get quite irked to hear him compliment someone on something that I do regularly and not have him acknowledge it.

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  28. Maybe it’s because I always tell my wife that she is attrative in something.
    Now, I tell her she’s the best looking one in Adult IV.
    She knows I believe that.
    She knows it’s realistic, because young women are pretty and she doesn’t imagine she can compete with them, and doesn try. She doesn’t need to.

    True story. I may have told this before.
    Once, years ago, we were at a large family function.
    On the way home, I told Elvera that she was the prettiest one there.
    She said, “No I wasn’t”
    I said.Then who was?
    She said, “Suzianne”.
    Suzianne!!
    Suzanne was a 22 year old college girl. Elvera’s niece.
    That doesn’t count! When you’re 45, you don’t go up against a 22 year old..

    Suzanne is now a grandmother, and someone else is prettier.

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  29. MIM, because you are a creative person you may be suseptible to noticing beauty more than less creative types. So you have learned where you need to be careful. I guess I have another take on the situation and I would have felt like it was an insult to the older woman whose beauty had faded since that wedding picture was taken. I would have laughed at the comment as a back-handed insult.

    Many years ago a young wife told me that she always zeroed in on the physical flaws of other beautiful women to point them out to her husband. I guess she felt that was a guard rail to his visual reaction. At the time I thought that was a crummy way to handle the situation. It seemed so shallow to me. I guess every lady has her own way to deal with such things.

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  30. MGM’S NEW MOVIE

    Coming to a Theater near you

    (picture will not post)

    I have tried to get the picture to post with no luck. It is a picture of the Prez in a Lion’s suit with the caption, “The Lyin’ King”. This came to a friend from someone across the big pond.

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  31. MIM, if my husband said that It would not bother me, but we married late in life and we both already had friends of the opposite gender. It was was part of the deal. I figure that they all had their chance to snag him and didn’t, so I’m not threatened.

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  36. Once when I was out for dinner with a guy I’d been dating for a while (exclusively) he took a liking to our waitress. The waitress said something about her boyfriend to which my boyfriend said something like “lucky guy” to her.

    Yeah, I was pretty furious. Didn’t throw any water or food at him, but I felt like it!

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  37. MIM, I don’t think what you said was inappropriate, and it wouldn’t bother me if my husband said what you said to another woman. However, I think it’s well to think of the boundary lines as being wherever one’s spouse feels is appropriate. In other words, a married person would best defer to his or her wife or husband, rather than to other people and where they would draw the line.

    My hubby is good about regularly telling me how attractive he finds me. That helps to fill the love tank, for me anyway, which makes me feel secure with him. He notices and points out to me different things about other women, also, but it doesn’t upset me or make me feel threatened by another woman’s beauty because I know exactly where he stands with me.

    He also praises me for other aspects of who I am, which is important, as beauty is fleeting, but good character is a virtue that should be growing. He has told me on a number of occasions that, when comparing my sisters’ husbands to himself, he says, “I got the best one”. (He compares his married brothers similarly.)

    Whether or not he did actually get the best one, his love and loyalty and words of affirmation really speak to me. I am much more comfortable in my own skin now than I was when I was younger. My looks or anything else about me compared to other women is not nearly the concern it was when I was younger. I’m no 20-something anymore, but I don’t worry now about what others think of my appearance. I can’t wear contacts anymore (I personally look better without glasses than with), but it doesn’t bother me that I’m back to wearing glasses. I don’t feel the need to color my graying hair to hang on to my youth. And I haven’t bought or worn any makeup in probably well over ten years, not at home and not in public. Absolutely none.

    I attribute my comfort with who I am to my husband’s acceptance and loving words of affirmation toward me. I think I would have a lot more of a problem if my husband complimented other women if he did not so speak to me.

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  38. Janice, I don’t see how it’s an insult that the woman’s beauty has faded . . . that’s simply reality. It happens to all of us. Some women (rarely) are as beautiful as they were 20 or 30 years ago, but even then they have a different beauty. I’ve known stunningly beautiful 80-year-olds, but they’re beautiful in an old-lady sort of way: lovely white hair, sparkling eyes, gentleness.

    A couple years ago I mentioned to a 25-year-old friend that a guy friend of mine (in his forties) was interested in dating women in their twenties. She was genuinely mystified: the only “appeal” a young woman would have to an older man is her greater beauty. In every other area, the older woman should win out. Why would a man go with beauty instead of greater wisdom and life experience? (Now, I do have two brothers who are older and single and still want children, and they’re looking at marrying younger women–one has already done so, recently–in order to have children, and I think that’s different. I think it would have been better, even for them, to marry younger, but for some women it works to marry a man considerably older. If I’d married in my twenties, I could have happily married a forty-year-old, though in my forties I turned down the man in his sixities who was interested.)

    Twenty-year-old women are all prettier than I am. I was probably prettier at twenty than I am now. (I say “probably” because at twenty I was afraid of my own shadow, and my sister and a very close friend who has known me since college have both told me I’m prettier in my forties than in my twenties, since my eyes sparkle now and I have a confidence I lacked then.) The beauty of youth isn’t the least little bit threatening because I have “the beauty of age” instead (not a physical beauty), and that’s deeper. It helps that I have a husband who finds me attractive (physically, mentally, and so forth), and who says so, but even when I was single and no man had ever found me desirable, I still wouldn’t have exchanged the beauties of middle age for the fleeting beauty of youth.

    Besides, a woman is likely to be prettier on her wedding day than on just about any other day of her life, questions of age aside, because in addition to her finery, she has the joy of being loved and the great expectations that come with that day.

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