Our Daily Thread 8-29-20

Good Morning!

Today is NancyJill’s birthday Anniversary!


You can still have presents and cake. 🙂


Anyone have a QoD?

110 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 8-29-20

  1. Good morning!
    We did not get the predicted storm in the night or at dawn. It is always a relief when the report says it could be bad and then it does not even whimper.

    Atlanta is having a weekend of protests. Yesterday’s was peaceful. One this morning is pretty close to us (Googled the distance of 4 miles), but it is a protest over voter suppression. I am against voter suppression and also for voter integrity which means accurate voter ID to vote. The ones who are protesting could use their time by taking people to wherever they need to go to get valid IDs.

    One black lady on the news decided she would no longer spend time protesting by spending time holding up signs. She has started a feeding/share program called 99 Refrigerators (or something like that) to help use food that would otherwise go to waste.

    I do not understand how people can be out wearing their masks in this heat to participate in the protests.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 🎈Happy, 🎈Happy, 🎈Happy 🎈Birthday, 🎈Nancyjill🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁☕☕🍰🍩🍦🍧🎂🍪May you enjoy your presents and treats today!🍿🍬🍭🥧🍨


  3. 😂 Morning! I get another birthday? It is our anniversary today! Forty Five years ago today I married Paul. No one knew about it. We ran off and Malcomb B Greene married us in Blooming Grove Indiana at 8:00 in the evening during one doozy of a storm. Pastor Greene looked just like Abraham Lincoln. He was a kind an gentle soul. We spent the weekend canoeing down the Whitewater River and walking around the area. When the weekend was over I went home and he went to his home. We were going to keep it a secret for a year. In October we decided to tell everyone we were married because I found out I was with child 😳 We scratch our heads wondering what could we have possibly been thinking in making such decisions in life. But here we are 45 years later thanking the Lord for His grace and mercy extended to us.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. Hey 🏈 fans: I asked late last night where few would see it if we want to continue the Pickled Picks tradition, even though many of the big colleges are not playing. The season starts “in full” next weekend (a few games are today), but most of the scheduled games are either canceled or postponed.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I suppose when we are younger an extra birthday is good…when this age we just think “hey don’t rush me”!! 😂 Husband and I tease one another quite a bit and laughter is an added glue to hold us together. I told him yesterday that I hoped we would make it to 45 years of marriage as he was hovering behind me in the kitchen. He replied I could not get a divorce that quickly as our anniversary was but a day away. I then quoted Ruth Bell Graham when she was once asked if she had ever considered divorcing her husband. Her quick response was “Divorce “no”, Murder “yes”. Paul thanked me this morning for not killing him overnight…..😜

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Good morning.

    Happy Anniversary, NancyJill! Odd start, but beautiful.

    Of course, I am in. Go Boise. Go Vandals. Go Cougars.


  7. Husband is on track to get home today, after two weeks of babysitting down in Boise. But he heads back down in a week for a check up on his titanium knees.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. It’s High Noon in New York, and time for Kate Smith.”

    Likely none of you remember that. She, and Paul Harvey are behind the radio commentary business.
    Kate wanted the national anthem changed to “God Bless America” I agree. The present one is unsingable and is about a flag, not a country.
    But it’s settled now.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I disagree, Chas. “America the Beautiful” would make a better national anthem than “God Bless America”. The only problem is the tune is the same as Great Britain’s “God Save the King/Queen”.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’m in for football.
    NancyJill, there ought to be a study done between expense and planning of a wedding and longevity of the married.
    Chas and Elvera didn’t spent much, you and Paul didn’t. Who else?

    Liked by 3 people

  11. One reason “God Bless America” will never be the national anthem is the fact that non-Christians would never allow it. And now-a-days Christians are a minority in a lot of the country.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Happy Anniversary Nancyjill and Paul!

    Nice to wake up and find it’s Saturday.

    It’s almost September already.

    The music is going next door, country today. Yesterday was the 1970s all day long. It’s like living next door to a teenager on perennial summer vacation. At least the volume is back to normal.

    We’re having a break in our heat, thankfully — back in the 70s but it’ll be up in the high 80s by next weekend according to the forecast.

    Oh, and looks like hair salons may be opening (again, who can keep up) within the week. I should definitely make an appointment to get this hair cut if my regular salon is among those opening.

    No word on opening indoor worship services yet, I wonder if there’s a hesitation with that as they fear many churches won’t obey the masks/social distancing restrictions?

    I may try cutting back some Mexican sage that’s overgrown its pot in the backyard. It’s so huge now that the pot is tipping in one direction. Somehow it just ballooned within the past few weeks!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Eat.

    NancyJill, what a teaser! Why the secret, how old were you, and what did your parents say?

    Congratulations. We hit 43 in 5 weeks, any tips? 🙂

    I don’t know how much my parents spent, but we’re still happily married. 300 guests— but we invited the whole church.

    I don’t understand all these people putting off their weddings u til next year. Why not get married now in a simple ceremony and have a big party next year?

    Liked by 4 people

  14. Peter – I think it is the one that starts “My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing” that has the tune from “God Save the Queen”.

    Does that have a name, or is the name the first the first five words – My Country, ‘Tis of Thee”, which is how I know it?


  15. Forgot to update you all on Heidi’s strange nighttime behavior. Fortunately, it faded away within a few nights. Glad, and relieved, that she is back to normal.

    Liked by 4 people

  16. My friend’s daughter was set to be married this year — she’s been living with her beau for several years and it took nearly forever to get the engagement sealed, which just happened I think on Valentine’s Day this year? Anyway, she’d started scoping out the venues when, bam, covid hit.

    Her mom, my good friend, is a believer in big weddings with all the bells and whistles so she was onboard for just postponing it until they could get the ceremony they wanted. I suggested (since they’ve been living together anyway and it’s taken such a long time just to get engaged) that they marry now and, as Michelle suggested, plan to have a big party to celebrate once the virus is no longer a concern.


  17. The best part of 12:38 is that when it ends, there is Lester Flatt singing “Footprints in the Snow” with a good dobro break. Most of you don’t like that music, but I enjoyed it. You hardly hear dobro’s anymore.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Wikipedia: Dobro is an American brand of resonator guitars, currently owned by Gibson and manufactured by its subsidiary Epiphone. The term “dobro” is also used as a generic trademark for any wood-bodied, single-cone resonator guitar.

    I had to look that up

    Liked by 2 people

  19. O good to hear your Heidi is doing better Kizzie…and yes…what happened with the bat?
    Paul had just completed his first year of college and he knew his Mom would never approve( he was right!) …he was 19 and I had just turned 21. So we thought we would run away, get married, he could complete his second year of school and we could have a “wedding” the next year. My parents were surprised but not really. I believe they were relieved knowing they would not have the expense of another daughter’s wedding. My older sister’s wedding stretched them financially and she was not exactly the most appreciative of their sacrifice. I didn’t have the desire to have a “formal” wedding and neither did Paul…I guess we just did it “our” way.

    Liked by 4 people

  20. okay, last night I watched a netflix documentary with my friend. It was good and really helped clarify some things about the health and wealth Prosperity gospel. I had a problem as they included a brief clip of Trump in two places which was totally irrelevant. But I think they did a good job on what the differences are.
    In a couple of parts they went so quickly from one clip to another that I was wondering, wait which is true and which is false.
    All that said, if you have netflix, watch for yourself.

    American Gospel: Christ Alone

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I’m in for the Pigskin Picks.

    We did not spend too much for a simple chapel wedding with about 25 guests. I bought the wedding gown from Penney’s Outlet for $70, and borrowed the veil. My parents bought the bouquet. My maid of honor had taken cooking classes and made our wonderful wedding cake. We had a dinner for the wedding guests which probably ran about $300.00, the biggest expense. For the honeymoon during tax season, we did one of those visit a timeshare places deals (free 2 night stay at the resort to check it out) and got a great deal on our vacation spot for all these years. I am not including the cost of the timeshare in the cost of the wedding, lol. The timeshare we got was selling at the lowest price because it was considered low season, but it was changing over to high season because it was the holidays, making it much more valuable. Someone’s credit fell though so we snapped it up. We knew if we had children they would be out of school for that time. Given Art’s work schedule it was the best thing we could do to ensure he would take at least a week off each year. That is how we did a small wedding without spending much. Oh, the wedding photos may have cost about $200.00. Does it count as an inexpensive wedding?

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Janice, to me in 1957, $200 was a fortune.
    Kim mentioned. I paid the pastor $10.00 and a license cost $5.00. She got a necklace from somewhere. It is in the picture. But I don’t know how she got it.
    My one regret is that I didn’t hire a professional photographer. We have no good pictures, and I still regret that.
    Explanation. It isn’t that I am so tight with money. I just didn’t have any. I went to school on the GI bill and worked part time at the SC Highway dept.
    We were to leave in two months for Southwestern Seminary in Fort Worth.

    Liked by 4 people

  23. We have some friends who, long before they became Christians, were living together and preparing to have a baby. She was eight months pregnant when they went to visit her parents. Her mom was taking a cake decorating class and had just finished a wedding cake.

    Mom: “It would be a shame to waste this cake. Why don’t you get married?”

    So they did. 🙂

    Still living happily ever after, now with Jesus in their lives, about 40 years later. 🙂

    Liked by 6 people

  24. We got married in the house we’d just bought. We had only the officiant and immediate family for the ceremony at noon, which was then followed by an open house for family and friends the rest of the day; all told, not very expensive. The house was older and nothing had yet been renovated or fixed up but no one minded. The back yard had been described by the realtor as “park-like” so many folks hung out there. It was a typical sweltering July day and there was no air conditioning in the house. Until the day he died, my father-in-law kidded us that it wasn’t a “real” wedding. We celebrated 41 years a few weeks ago.

    Liked by 8 people

  25. My parents would have paid for the wedding costs but since I was around 30 years old and well established with work and had bought a house, I was being my independent self by covering the wedding cost and keeping it on a small scale. I think I may have hurt some relative’s feelings by having a small wedding that I mostly invited in town people to, but I did not want a big ordeal affair. I had planned to use the husband of a co-worker as my photographer, but he cancelled out but supplied another photographer, a frien DC of his, who was excellent and worked for the AJC (if I am not mistaken). I even got a great deal on a really pro photographer.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Kizzie- You’re right that “My Country ’tis of Thee” is the same tune as Britain’s anthem. “America the Beautiful” would make a great anthem as well, except that the atheists would object to the “God shed His grace on thee” line. We’ll have to settle for what we have and learn to sing it. I have no problem, but then I have a large vocal range (it as almost 4 full octaves when I was young).

    Liked by 3 people

  27. 🙂
    Elvera laughed at a joke. Why is that important?
    Someone on TV told this:
    “I couldn’t sleep a wink last night.
    Why not?
    The window shade was up.
    Why didn’t you close it?
    It was across the street.”

    I was surprised that she saw the implications of that. Am extremely pleased. She understands more than i know, some times.

    Liked by 9 people

  28. About 10k for the first. I threw up all day. The photos are gorgeous and what I remember of the reception was nice. G had champagne. I had Gatorade. It lates 14 years and gave us both BG which we were told we would never have. It was worth it. My dad offered me 3k to elope. No! I wanted wedding presents. After it was over he asked me if I got 10k in wedding presents. I should have take. The money.
    As you know, Mr P and I got mares on a Sunday (shhh I was copying Chas and Elvera) I wore a dress I had in the closet (still do) and he wore a suit he had. We gave the minister $100. I’m not sure what he spent on flowers. He gave me his mother’s rings and I had him wear one of my dad’s ties. BG wore her homecoming dress. After we ran by a friends house. They had some leftover champagne so we had a glass the. The three of us went out to eat. We went home and the next day BG went to school and we both went to work. October will be 8 years. It may work out yet 😉

    Liked by 9 people

  29. I think we spent around $100 on our wedding – but that was in large part because we decided to go ahead and get married so we could have just one apartment and save on rent, then save over the course of the next year for a larger ceremony that would be a rededication of vows for us, and give the families the opportunity to come see a nice ceremony (after having had a year themselves to save for plane tickets, for those who lived further away).
    Our original plan for the actual wedding was just the two witnesses (a couple I had gotten to know well a couple of years earlier), but then my parents said that of course they were coming, and they told other relatives, so my cousin came with her family, and my uncle came, and he also sent a check for $100 “for whatever you’re doing for a reception afterward.” So then we had to come up with a reception, which the couple that were the witnesses offered to host in their home, so we went out and bought a bunch of food (by now we also had two relatives coming from my husband’s side, one of his co-workers, and one of my co-workers who volunteered to take pictures). I had never spent that much in one grocery trip in my life and it seemed terribly extravagant.
    Things went mostly well. My parents were two hours late and the wedding had to be postponed from 6 pm to 8 pm. And the store that made the sheet cake spelled my husband’s name wrong.
    Then eleven months later we had a bigger ceremony, with a wedding party and a larger reception (in the church hall) and a professional photographer. And that seemed even more extravagant to me, even though I knew it was a fraction of what a lot of people spend.
    We just celebrated our 31st anniversary.

    Liked by 7 people

  30. Kim, you survived the 7th year, isn’t that something significant? Or maybe that’s just in LA/Hollywood. I notice that there’s a tribute online to “long-time” married celebs — 15 years.

    Talked to Carol who isn’t fond of her current rehab facility, it remains unclear what the long-term prospects are for her retiring to her former “permanent” assisted living place (which is supposed to happen in another 10 days or so).

    She did mention “Oh, whoops,” she forgot to pay her phone bill.

    I said that’s too bad, she’ll be without a phone for a while.

    She’s been pretty good about paying it, last time I paid it for her was in March shortly after all the covid-19 lockdowns, I really felt I need to be in touch with her through all of that. I’d told her (when she informed me in late Feb., early March) that she wasn’t able to pay her bill) “that’s good bad.” But with the Covid advent, I went ahead and called the phone co and paid it online for her.

    But she’s slipping again, getting overdraft charges on her bank account and immediately buying online books when she gets paid. I told her today, write yourself a note, BILLS ARE PAID FIRST, you can buy books after that with what’s left (and not going over your bank balance).

    Liked by 4 people

  31. The bat never made a reappearance, and there was no evidence of it having died on the premises, so I believe it had gotten out the way it came in. (We have had mice die in the wall, and there is an awful smell for a while after that happens, so we would have smelled a dead bat eventually.)

    Hubby and I had a medium-sized wedding, I guess, of about 100 people. My wedding dress was from J.C. Penney. The reception was a hall at a local beach club – not very fancy, but very nice nonetheless. My parents paid for the wedding and reception (my dad was doing well financially at that time).

    Throughout our financial struggles, my mom would buy me things when we went shopping together, although I never asked for anything. Mom once said that my brother always had seemed to take any largess from them for granted, but I was always grateful, so they enjoyed spending money on me.

    I wish I had the money to do the same for my daughters. Instead, it is my older daughter who will sometimes buy things for me when we are out. I have gifted Chickadee some money a couple times, but I can’t afford to do much. I also have randomly given Nightingale some money towards groceries or such, which she doesn’t expect, but is grateful for.

    Liked by 2 people

  32. How’s this for clueless? A Christian friend of mine (we used to attend the same church for several years) shared a post on Facebook about the need for criminals to be punished in order to straighten out society. The photo that went along with it – a large noose.


  33. I didn’t care at all about having a big wedding. Having a large extended family makes it large whether you want it so or not unless you elope. However, I did not have an extravagant wedding. There was a dinner at the church where the wedding was held and my parents invited some people over to their home for some drinks and dancing accompanied by a record player. It was a long tiring day, to say the least.

    Liked by 4 people

  34. One of my favorite groups, Roscuro. I know a few people who play dobro. Husband’s jam group used to have a great player, but he has passed away. One of the players I know did not at all like the style of the one who played with Alison in that group. Like many instruments there are different styles of dobro or resonator guitar. One nice thing about bluegrass music is that you usually get a chance to really hear and appreciate each instrument.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Congratulations to Nancy Jill and her husband.

    I used to think I would invite all my family to my wedding, as, when I was a child, I enjoyed attending my older cousins weddings (on my mother’s side, there are over 20 first cousins). Sadly, now we are all grown up, some deep rifts have opened between some of the cousins, and I doubt several would attend, to avoid seeing the relatives they didn’t want to see. My siblings all invited the extended family, but not all were able to come, but, for some reason, now we are in the 30s-50s range in age, some real division has occured. I think now, if I were to ever marry (highly unlikely at any point in the near future – very hard to meet anyone in a pandemic), I would just have immediate family, and perhaps some of the cousins who are still close to me personally.

    Liked by 3 people

  36. I had a simple wedding by today’s standards, but I feel like I’m the “splurger” in this group. I invited everyone from the church I was attending, my husband’s church, and my Chicago church (knowing that few if any would come from my Chicago church–a couple of friends did try to–and that few would come from the Indiana church–several did), all of those being a general invitation in the bulletin or such. And I have a large family, but two of my brothers had prior business commitments. We had 70-100 people. The reception was in another room at the church, cake and nuts and mints and punch. I didn’t want wedding songs (so much of it is cheesy), so we had instrumental music only. The one song my husband wanted, we had sung at our reception instead of during the wedding. If I had married younger I would have had poetry instead of songs, but didn’t do that. But the cost for everything was about 10% of the average wedding that year, so I figured that was good. I had just about everything I wanted and it was pretty and romantic, and most important was that I was married.

    I didn’t realize this until after I was married, and I wish it could be communicated to young women: Women dream of their wedding day, and it’s a sweet and special day. But after you are married, the wedding day really isn’t all that significant. What’s important is the relationship with your husband and your daily life. Have a pretty day, do what is most important to you (whether that’s lovely flowers, good quality flowers, a beautiful dress, or a certain kind of music), but don’t try to have “everything,” and don’t go into debt for it. It’s more important when you’re looking ahead to it than it is in the rear-view mirror, and your friends simply aren’t going to care how fancy it is. (Unless you’re in the sort of society that it matters. For most people, it doesn’t.)

    Liked by 4 people

  37. Roscuro- That thar was some good pickin’. Bluegrass musicians show a lot of talent in being able to move their fingers so fast. Another thing I like about Bluegrass is that almost every song allows each musician a chance at a solo.

    Liked by 3 people

  38. Happy anniversary, Mr and Mrs NancyJill!

    I have no clue how much my parents spent, dress was my mom’s so that was free, flowers, reception for 100+ people but held at the church so no rental fee. Coming up on 36 years in a few days.

    Liked by 3 people

  39. Watching The Way Back tonight w/Ben Afleck, filmed last year or two almost entirely in our port town. Good film, and fun to see all our streets, funky old houses, drive bars, waterfront, bridges.

    Harbor View House (Kim, remember when I was texting you about the sale of that building?) is among the main locations.



    … In one of the scenes, Affleck’s Jack Cunningham can be seen at the basketball court of Angels Gate Park that overlooks the ocean. The sea, then, can be seen as a metaphor as Jack drowns in his grief and isolation. It is also interesting that the previous working title of the film was ‘Torrance’, another coastal city of Los Angeles.

    It is, then, crucial to note the importance San Pedro plays in the narrative especially with the vast, endless ocean that features as a backdrop throughout the film. The neighbourhood is also primarily a working class community which becomes relevant because of Jack’s profession as a construction worker.

    The film portrays the neighborhood as a tight-knit, everyone-knows-everyone sort of space which is why Cunningham gets offered the job in the first place. …

    Liked by 3 people

  40. This is something I’ve pondered for a while.

    I find it interesting how much we make children a financial liability and not an “asset.” In much of the world, and much of world history, children work in the family business and then they care for their parents in their old age. In some cultures they pay back the cost of their parents raising them (which seems excessive).

    In America, one is expected to pay the full costs of raising a child to 18 plus an allowance. The child can do a few chores (for which he might be paid) but childhood is largely seen as a time for education and playing, and the teen years for almost unrestricted freedom from adults (rules, authority, and responsibility). Parents aren’t “expected” to buy a child’s first car, but they are more or less expected to offer either use of the family vehicle or a car of one’s own, they are expected to at least subsidize the child’s college education if not pay for it completely, and they are expected to pay at least a good portion of a daughter’s wedding (typically all of it). But they also are expected to save for, and pay for, their own old age.

    All this with only working part time (if at all) until after college graduation (including graduate school in many cases) and trying to retire at 55 (though it seems boomers often work into their 70s). So we work full-time about half of our lives, and that “full-time” is of course only a third of our waking hours during the weekdays of our working weeks, with several weeks each year for vacation, holidays, and sick days. Unless we’re successful in our careers, and then we work 100-hour weeks.

    But really it’s no wonder many people think they “can’t afford” children. If both parents are working they won’t see their children much anyway, and children are merely a “cost” and not an asset. (They don’t help out in the household and they don’t help in the parents’ old age. And they aren’t grateful for what their parents have done for them; they talk about how dysfunctional their homes were and what their parents didn’t give them.) Few can afford to have more than one or two children with this model. So parents are discouraged from giving their child greater riches (including siblings) or holding any expectations of them. And parents who don’t pay for their children’s college education are seen as negligent, and parents who DO pay for it are seen as merely doing their duty. Meanwhile weddings get more extravagant by the year and college costs rise at notorious levels while many college students aren’t in college for the academics at all, because many students see it as the last years of their childhood rather than the first years of their adulthood.

    Liked by 4 people

  41. That is quite a sobering post, Cheryl. A lot of children work hard for scholarships for college and then work their way through school. Yes, to their disadvantage, more than should fall under the scenario you painted with words (in our nation), but given the number of divorces and struggling single moms here, many who want to succeed have to be ambitious.

    I have been in Ecclesiastes for Bible study lately, and your post gave me the same feelings I get from parts of that book. All is vanity! But God . . .

    Liked by 2 people

  42. Art’s parents did not attend our wedding. They were pretty much shut-ins by that time in their lives. They did manage to come to the hospital to see Wesley when he was born. Art’s dad died six months later.

    Liked by 1 person

  43. We had a lot of family at our wedding: my parents flew in from Arizona to Iowa, all my siblings and their children were there (there were only three of the children then). My wife’s family was all within an hour of the church, so they were all there, even some of her great uncles and aunts with their adult children. (Mrs L’s mother had a lot of cousins in the area).

    Liked by 3 people

  44. Our church is meeting today at a Christian camp nearby. It is a bit of drive. We will have church outdoors and socially distanced, then a baptism then a picnic. We will be outdoors with lots of space. I’d better get going.

    Liked by 5 people

  45. I’m now smelling smoke. I may have church at home today, even though the particulate count— which I monitor constantly— is okay.

    When you start with at least 50 relatives, which is just the Italians in my family, your wedding quickly becomes big.

    I’m sure I’ve said before, I‘d love to attend church one morning and find a wedding in the service. If I ever write another novel with a love story, watch for it! Lol

    Liked by 4 people

  46. Cheryl, there are a lot of generalizations in that post on parents and children, only portions of which may be true in any given family. And expectations vary wildly. My siblings sometimes have encountered judgment for having so many children, sometimes praise for their “lovely family”; the same as my mother did with her four children. I see parenthood posts from major publications go through my FB feed regularly, and one post may be about regretting parenthood, another regretting they did not have more children, another telling the damaging effects of this or that on children, another saying children are less easily damaged than we think. Every possible perspective, contradicting every other perspective, so expectations vary wildly in society. If one wanted to complain that parents are not expected to do enough for their children, there is enough evidence for those kind of generalizations too. There are so many voices in the world, and they all need to be tuned out to listen to the Spirit.

    So, what does the Bible say about parents providing for children? Well…

    “which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?” (Matthew 7:10-11)

    “For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.” II Corinthians 12:14

    Now, these passages are using these facts of parenting as analogies to the provision of God and the self sacrifice of a spiritual elder, but, if they were not already facts of parenting to the cultures to whom they were written, then the analogies would not work. Consider the parable of the prodigal son. The son asks for his inheritance as a matter of right, and is given it, the elder son will get his father’s substance as a matter of his right. These are images that are understandable to the audience to whom Jesus is speaking – the twist in the tale is when the father goes above and beyond in giving more to his second son even though he had wasted his inheritance. Clearly, parents were expected to provide for their children. That is part of being a parent of a damily (I Timothy 5:8).

    Cultural expectations have a lot to do with what parents are expected to do for children, and vary widely according to the culture of a family. Italians, for example, are know to generally have high expectations of expenditure for children’s weddings, etc., but then again, children are expected to care for their parents in old age. A family of British descent tends to have lower expectations for both parents and children. In my mother’s family, one sibling mortgaged their home to put their children through post secondary education; another sibling gave something towards their children’s university education, but expected them to work their ways through school. My parents could afford almost nothing for my education in the way of financial support. Low income loans and grants were my means of paying for my education. I paid off my first loan long ago, and am paying off the second now. They do however, continue to provide shelter (for which I do pay something, to aid in the general household expenditures) and other means of support – my father helps me maintain my car, for example, as he understands its mechanics better than I. But, we are family. God placed in the same family to aid and support one another in various ways. A disabled child may have very little they can do to provide support, and infirm parent the same, but human value does not lie in what we cand do, but in who we are.

    Liked by 2 people

  47. Bear with me, please, dear friends. It is the time of the year that has me reminiscing about the events that led to Hubby’s death. I don’t know if I have written these same things the past couple years, so this may all be a “rerun”.

    Three years ago today, a Wednesday, Hubby and I went to an appointment with his oncologist to hear the results of some tests he had had the week before. Due to the tumor regrowing on his prostate, and a “something” that showed up on a rib, he was prescribed a stronger drug. (At a later time, I looked it up. It was pretty much chemotherapy in a pill, and came with lots of precautions.) As we were getting ready to leave the doctor’s office, he assured us that it was not yet time to worry. (I do not hold this against him.)

    Hubby then texted Nightingale, “Don’t plan my funeral yet.”

    We then went to Costco to buy a few things, and had a quick lunch there before leaving to stop at our favorite ice cream place, which was in that town. Later at home, I’m sure we must have watched one of “our shows” before it was time for his early bedtime. That was our last “date”, and our last day spent together before his hospitalization.

    Liked by 3 people

  48. Kizzie, I’m glad you had that last date, and that things were good between you–and that Nightingale was in place to offer support when you needed it. But I know you must miss him.

    Liked by 4 people

  49. Something I have learned from being on Facebook is that there are some people who are so adamant about their positions (usually with a lot of contempt – if not hatred – for the opposing side) that they do not want to consider anything other than their preconceptions.

    I’ve seen a couple staunch conservatives share something that claims that if you go to antifa dot com (not putting the actual link here), it takes you directly to a page to donate to Joe Biden’s campaign. So “obviously”, Biden supports antifa.

    It apparently hasn’t occurred to these folks that there are people who can fiddle with URLs to make them go to another page. Or maybe whomever is behind the antifa page has made the link, but it is not endorsed by Biden. I didn’t bother explaining this, because I knew that those particular friends wanted to believe the worst about Biden. (And yes, I see this kind of thing on the left, too.)


  50. And the stroke occurred the following day? That was a rapid happening of events, I hadn’t remembered they were that close together, but was thinking it a week or two, perhaps.

    What a whirlwind. 😦

    Church was good, 2 Corinthians today. We’re still reviewing 1 book of the Bible each week, after we finish he will preach on Revelation which could go on for quite some time.


    Our pastor again assured us that all of the many positions Christians seem to currently hold on how to deal with the Covid-19 crisis are within the biblical pale and we should not dis-fellowship over those differing views (whether to attend church, wear masks, stick with virtual church, worship only outdoors, etc).

    But we should be attending our church somewhere.

    Liked by 2 people

  51. Roscuro, clearly parents are expected to provide for their children, and cultures generally recognize that children receive what their parents owned after their deaths. Any “cultural expectation” is going to be a generalization, especially in nations with as many cultural heritages as in North America.

    My own parents didn’t give us an allowance, didn’t allow us to use the family car and didn’t contribute toward our purchase of a vehicle, didn’t help with college expenses (though my mom did help a little with a course I took before college), and didn’t help my sister with her wedding (both my parents were dead by the time I married, but my mom was still alive when my sister married). But then, I’m one of seven children, and my dad was a stock clerk (not a high-paying job). We understood that in effect we had siblings instead of help with college and all those other things . . . and I think we would all say it was a good trade.

    I still think my “generalizations” are mostly true. I know a family whose wife and mother was working last year in order to earn money for her daughter’s wedding . . . though she herself was in need of thousands of dollars for a medical expense that wouldn’t be covered by insurance and that wasn’t a “luxury” expense (I’m being a bit vague on purpose for privacy). People take all their savings out of the bank and put a second mortgage on the home to pay for their children’s college costs, or a big part of them. Obviously not every parent . . . but when you read reports of “how much children cost,” they never come with the expectation that you will live in a three-bedroom house and have six children and that most parents do not in fact pay $8,000 a year for gymnastics lessons per child.

    It’s a generalization, not true of all families, but I think it is largely true that the cultural “norm” is at least presented to be paying all your child’s expenses until college graduation and then for your daughter’s wedding as well. If the child works part-time before graduation, those wages can help with college costs and/or be “mad money.” It’s the rare household that expects any of that income to go toward the household or even toward the child’s own expenses, with that one exception that children may be expected to get scholarships, or loans, or pay themselves for a certain portion of their college costs.

    Liked by 1 person

  52. Personally I think parents should
    Do what they can to help their children. What they can’t they can’t. My father paid for my undergraduate and provided for BG’a because it was important to him and I am eternally grateful. In order I will help BG and do what I can for any grandchildren. What I can’t I won’t regret. Children are a Gift and with any gift we are to appreciate it/them.

    I really don’t think it has to be one way or another. What I do know is my mother was an only child who grew up dirt poor. My father was the second of twelve. He said he never had enough to eat until
    He went in the Navy. Life happens. Parents choose. To each his own. Do what you can or what you are willing to do. Me? If I had millions of dollars I would help as many as I could but I also remember a wise man in this blog also told me to take care of myself too.

    Liked by 2 people

  53. Kizzie. It’s helps to remember and cherish those memories. Please share them with us over the next few days and weeks. As long as we remember they aren’t completely gone. Love and hugs

    Liked by 3 people

  54. Our park meeting had a guest who attended as a child/teen before going away to college. Our elder spoke from Psalm 90. It was good to be reminded of the promises God has for us as we age.

    Liked by 3 people

  55. My mom bought each of her grand babies a children’s Bible story book when they were born and I want to keep that tradition for my grand babies.

    I would love some recommendations for Bible story books for very young/toddler age children. I would need to be able to order them on line as there are no Christian book stores near me. I’m looking on Amazon but there are so many.


    Liked by 2 people

  56. wonderful church service. It was held in an amphitheater at the camp.Since it was in the outdoors with folks sitting on seats going up hill and curving around the stage you could really see who was there. It gave me a sense of who went to our church. After the sermon and a song the folks getting baptized came up to answer some questions and give a testimony. After that we all walked over to the pool for the baptism. Then it was lunch. The local ice cream folks came with their trailer and sold ice cream. They are known for being the best around here and someone bought one for me! Lots of good visiting.

    Liked by 4 people

  57. I guess this is my movie weekend.

    After church, I’m watching “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” (?) — Tom Hanks as Mr. Rogers.

    The reporter, interestingly is played by the actor featured as the new Perry Mason on HBO.

    Anyway, I’m enjoying it.

    Who else has seen it?

    Liked by 1 person

  58. DJ – There were actually two separate hospitalizations separated by less than 24 hours. I don’t really count that time he was home, though, because it was so brief and he still wasn’t feeling well. Most of it was spent sleeping, then going out with Nightingale the next day on a couple errands.

    The first hospitalization was for a week in a hospital almost an hour and a half south of us here in Connecticut. He had driven there in the midst of his bread route, in his bread truck, because the bleeding from his bladder had started, and was pretty bad. (This was the very next day after what I wrote above.) After a week, they thought they had the bleeding stopped, and he was discharged late on a Thursday.

    The next day, he and Nightingale drove up to the town in Massachusetts where his personal car was still in the parking lot of the company he worked for (Diana’s Bakery). (Someone had come to pick up his work truck at the hospital the night he was admitted the week before.) He had gone in to say hi to some of the guys there, and then got in his car. Nightingale had dropped him off there and then stopped at a store to buy a few items, including a cake to celebrate his coming home. It was while checking out that she received a call from him crying, “Help me!”

    It was at that time, after getting in his car to drive home, that the stroke hit. Somehow – he didn’t remember doing it – he managed to make that call to her. She immediately called 911, then drove back to Diana’s. She arrived as they were wheeling him to the ambulance, and then followed them to the hospital up there. (That hospital in Massachusetts was closer to us than the one in Connecticut had been, by about 45 minutes.)

    At the hospital, she noticed his arm hanging limply from the gurney, and knew it must have been a stroke. But they had started TPA quickly, which dissolved the clot. Within a fairly short period of time, he was able to talk again and smile. As Nightingale recounted, they asked if he could give them a smile, and he gave them one of his big, goofy grins.

    When she explained what the TPA had done – making it so that the blood could flow freely so his brain could work right, he cracked, “The first time in 62 years!”

    I remember when she got home later, and she was putting the cake she bought into the freezer, and broke down crying. We would eventually thaw that cake and have it together a few days after he died.

    Liked by 3 people

  59. DJ – I do want to see that movie sometime.

    This afternoon, I finished watching a limited series on Netflix called The Stranger. It was a mystery with interconnected stories, and quite good. Often had me wondering what on earth was going on. Well done. Only eight episodes, so not a long-term commitment to a show.

    Liked by 1 person

  60. It is interesting to me how grief and contentment can co-exist in one’s heart and life. That’s how I feel – mostly content, even happy, but still with the grief in my heart. I think that must be a blessing related to my faith, as I have sought to be grateful to God for what I do have, even while I miss what I have lost.

    Liked by 2 people

  61. Kizzie. The best thing I have ever seen regarding loss was a roadside Saigon that read: Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.

    Liked by 3 people

  62. On the subject of weddings: My mom made my wedding dress and bridal veil and my sister’s bridesmaid dress. I think the maid of honor and the other bridesmaid was given a pattern and material, but I cannot remember. My mom and I were not on the best of terms at the time and I don’t remember putting much input into most of the decisions. The wedding was more of a necessity to get where I wanted to be than something important in and of itself. There were around 300 people there, I think. The priest was also upset with us and left out all the songs my aunt was supposed to sing except for the one we walked down the aisle to. She joked that she had never gotten paid not to sing before. The priest claimed it was a new service order and he forgot. I highly doubt it, but it is water under the bridge and we moved on to learn to live as we believed the Lord would want us to do.

    I tried to give my daughters weddings they would enjoy and have good memories of. One chose to ‘elope,’ but all the family from both sides and a couple of friends drove thousands of miles to join them.

    I agree with Kim. I think you give to your children what you think is good for them to the best of your ability. Sometimes children cannot be given a college education (neither me or my husband was given one) because they will squander the opportunity. The same with other things. Each situation is so different. The reports of what is costs to raise a child are usually ridiculous. They never factor in hand-me downs etc.

    Liked by 2 people

  63. Kim – I think it is a mixture of both missing what is lost and being grateful for what was. Hubby and I had some very tough times in our marriage, but came through all of those, and were in a good place. So I am very grateful that we ended that way, but also I miss that we couldn’t have enjoyed more time together in that way.

    Liked by 3 people

  64. My mom had four children graduate high school in four years and all five of us married in a short time period. She also planned my oldest brother’s wedding, since her parents were not helping them. We all had a child in a one year period, too. So she had plenty to deal with on top of running her own greenhouse business.

    Liked by 2 people

  65. A kind of funny little thing: My tea kettle is ready to be replaced, as it has started to rust inside. It has given me several years of good service, so I looked on Amazon for a similar one. Unfortunately, the tea kettle of the same brand is way too expensive, and apparently, according to reviews, the quality of that company’s product has gone downhill in recent years.

    Well, one evening, I spent almost three hours looking at tea kettles on Amazon, and each one had some kind of bad reviews that put me off, such as rusting easily or the whistle not working (I like a whistling tea kettle) or the spout dripping hot water too much, etc. I certainly did not intend to spend my whole evening reading about tea kettles!

    The next morning, Nightingale sat next to me, and we looked at some together (the ones I had narrowed it down to). I want a tea kettle that whistles, doesn’t leak or dribble, and looks nice. One that I absolutely loved – and so did Nightingale – was unfortunately a painted one, and the reviews said the paint chipped too easily.

    So. . .we are going to do the “old fashioned” thing of actually going into a store to buy a tea kettle. 😀 Boy’s first day of school will be Tuesday, September 8, and she has Tuesdays off, so we are going to go out shopping together for the first time in several months. We have a list of some household items we want to buy. I am looking forward to it. (And she recently ordered some pretty masks from Etsy, so we can mask up in style!)

    Liked by 3 people

  66. I think I have mentioned that Boy’s school has divided the students so that half attend in the physical school building on Monday and Tuesday, and the other half on Thursday and Friday. The days they are not in the building, including Wednesday when no students will be there as the rooms are deep-cleaned, they will have “distance learning” online. We suspect that if students start being diagnosed with Covid, they will go to all distance learning, but we really hope that doesn’t happen.

    Wow! I’m pretty “talkative” today!

    Liked by 2 people

  67. I have a hand me down tea kettle from my then mother in law. It’s probably 30 plus years old. It works just fine. I like to drink Yogi Bedtime Tea. This morning Mr P asked me if I realized what he did last night. Ummm no. When he finished watching tv he set YouTube tv to a sleep meditation. I guess it worked.

    Liked by 1 person

  68. Weddings, the first one in my family was my second daughter. A missionary friend later wanted pictures so that she could show gals she was working with in Africa who thought you could not get married until you had lots of money to put on a huge party.
    Grandma made her wedding dress and all of the flowers came from Grandmas yard.
    One of her college roommates moms bought them a small wedding cake. All of the rest of the food at the reception was potluck. Funny story is that after we took the pictures there was not much food left for the wedding party.
    I bought the lemonade and paper cups and plates.
    The bride and groom were barefoot.
    All of the verses were read in English and Spanish since there were Hispanic friends there and both of them had spent a year or so in Honduras.
    No professional photographer or anything else. She had been working with the youth at the church so I don’t think they paid for the church.
    They spent their first night in the very small house where they were going to live. Honeymoon was in the mountain cabin that my sister owned.

    Liked by 3 people

  69. Seven is a nice number. D1 had our 7th grandchild, a girl, @ 5:58 CDT today. It’s her 6th child. D3 is watching the other 5 tonight and tomorrow. But since the oldest is 10 and a big help, she shouldn’t be too worn out.

    Liked by 6 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.