47 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 1-2-20

  1. Good morning Chas. 🙂


    Just a note, I will be “out of the office” starting tomorrow and until Monday. Christmas 2.0 with the other half the family. So play nice. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Your battleship has arrived. It sure feels like Monday to me. I may be calling Fairhope again this morning. This will be the third story I’ve done on a reportedly $4,000 stationary, coin-fed viewfinder (made by a company in Fairhope) that apparently was stolen from a port lookout spot.

    Photo above was taken on New Year’s Eve morning when I was out there with our photographer working on Story No. 2.

    It wasn’t nearly as clear a day as we had the week before, but you can still see the snow on the mountains in the distance (much sharper views last week), the shipping cranes in the Port of LA below and a couple random flowers growing up over a red tile roof.

    I still keep thinking we just had a weekend and this is Monday. Maybe some folks will be back at work today, but many still probably have the rest of this holiday week off. We should be getting back to normal, whatever that is, on Monday.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The house is quiet again. D1 and family left a while ago. They put polyurethane on the floors in almost their whole house and needed to stay away because of the fumes. It was fun having them. Granddaughter 2 got up before everyone else and we spent a half hour just talking. She asked about pictures on the wall of my and Mrs. L’s grandparents, so I told her about them. She talked about meeting her great grandparents on SIL’s side. We also talked about bugs and other creatures. She’s pretty smart for a 7 year old. She is the girl in the photos I posted yesterday.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. The house is 58 this morning, not too bad. But I know the trick! So I took off the face plate of the thermostat and put it back on, so the heat is flowing. And, yes, I will be calling to get it fixed today.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. You got a hibiscus into that photo of HOME!

    I read a manuscript until 3:30 this morning and then couldn’t fall asleep. What a mess this day will probably be, sigh.

    Oh, the manuscript was good. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is part regular comment, and part prayer request. 🙂

    Regular comment part: X’s Mom and I are friends on Facebook. She and I are also friendly with each other the occasional times we see each other, which happens when she picks up or drops off Boy every now and then. Not too long ago on the prayer thread I mentioned that I was pleasantly surprised to see that she would sometimes “like” Christian-themed posts or quotes that I shared. (She was an atheist, like her husband, when we first met, then after a while identified as “spiritual”. And then she started occasionally liking some of those posts of mine. Of course, I have been praying for her salvation, and his, so I wonder if her heart is turning towards the Truth.

    Recently, Nightingale requested (well, it sounded almost like a command) that I unfriend X’s Mom on Facebook. She angrily said that she is an enabler of a narcissist. Last night – I forget what triggered it – she angrily said that X’s Mom being an enabler of her son makes her just as bad as he is.

    Prayer request part: Please pray that the Holy Spirit will work upon Nightingale’s heart, both to draw her to Jesus, and help her to let go of the anger and unforgiveness. Although she needs to forgive him, too, I understand why she feels the way she does about X, but it seems an over-reaction to have so much anger at X’s Mom. I could see being somewhat angry at her, or not liking her because of her enabling X, but since she (X’s Mom) is his mother, that makes her doing so more understandable to me. (But not right or okay.) Nightingale does not seem to want to budge in her estimation of either one of them.

    (Btw, I have not unfriended X’s Mom. I still want to keep the communication open.)

    Liked by 2 people

  7. And yet, I’m a little afraid that if Nightingale realizes I haven’t unfriended X’s Mom, she may see it as a kind of betrayal on my part. 😦


  8. Kizzie, daughters have no say over whom their mothers “friend” on Facebook. For better or worse, you are co-grandmother with X’s mom, and you don’t have to be friends in real life, but it doesn’t hurt anything if you at least get along.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Kizzie, I know you want to minimize stress between you and Nightingale, but she is overstepping a reasonable boundary. And she seems usually pretty reasonable, so maybe if she thinks about it she’ll back off. Beyond that, what Cheryl said…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Yes, Nightingale is usually quite reasonable, so her request/demand surprised me. But keeping or not keeping X’s Mom as a Facebook friend is my decision, and I opt to keep her.

    The problem is that has a very sore spot when it comes to anything to do with X. And that is understandable when you consider how mentally and emotionally abusive he was when they were together, then that violent attack on her in front of their son a few years ago, and now the games he is playing with the custody agreements. It’s hard to let something go when the wound keeps getting poked.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Any phone experts on here. I have an iphone se. When I was here 2 1/2 years ago it did fine with roaming data and telling me where to go. Last Christmas I got a new sim card with Cricket wireless, same as I had before. It worked as a phone, but no data other than using wifi. That does not help when you are using your phone for traveling gps and directions. This year I got a new sim card on my friends plan with xfinifty. Same thing is happening. No data when out and about, just calling. I realized that I had no dowsnloaded any updates so I did that the other night. Still no roaming data. Believe me, it is turned on. I check that all the time. Cellular data is on. Any suggestions??? They said to go into the store, but I leave in the morning to pick up a rental van in Seattle and then drive to Portland on the way home.


  12. Happy New Year, everyone! A day late with the greetings, but January is still pretty new. 🙂

    Busy day around home yesterday, so I didn’t get to see what sounded like a pretty header photo from DJ. I always like the LA shots, and am glad to see one today.

    I’m no phone expert, Jo, so will not even attempt to give an answer.

    Kizzie, all of the above regarding those who’ve already responded to your 2:49. And I wouldn’t worry about if Nightingale might feel betrayed for your not unfriending X’s mom. I think she knows you wouldn’t betray her. I also believe she’s smart enough to recognize controlling behavior, even when she herself is exhibiting it. She knows adults shouldn’t be telling other adults who they can and can’t have for friends.

    My guess is hers was an offhand remark to you, and isn’t something she’s expecting you to do, or would feel betrayed by if you didn’t.

    You’re right to continue on with X’s mom as you have been when it’s in your heart to do so.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Jo, I don’t have an iPhone so I’m shooting in the dark. Is there a separate setting buried in there for roaming cellular data? In my Android phone I can turn “Mobile data” on or off, but underneath that there’s a menu that takes me to Mobile networks –> Roaming –> Data roaming, and I can turn Data roaming off even when Mobile data is on.


  14. One contrary thought on the X-mom, perhaps she is picking up things about your life from your FB comments that give X too much info about Nightingale?

    If you post a photo, for example. Or if X learns about your new living room which Nightingale helped provide and draws the conclusion that she had plenty of money and therefore no need of child support?

    Any time you post anything about your life, X-mom can see it. If X is her friend and she comments, he can see the post—which could be construed as an invasion of privacy.

    I did not befriend several relatives who we have reason to believe work outside the law, not because of my life, but because other relatives could be/feel threatened.

    Nightingale is in a court case with a questionable man who lives with his mother. Frankly, I see her point.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Kizzie. I agree with Michelle on this.

    We all know I was involved with Me Wrong at one point in my life. He educated me on narcissistic behavior. I realized that a Facebook friend was friends with him and I un-friended her. It was still too painful to see photos she had posted with him and his current victim in them. I also do not want him to know ANYTHING about me. There is a certain restaurant I won’t go to because I don’t want to chance seeing him. Until you have been through it you can’t know the reaction it can cause.

    And yes, Mr X can “stalk” his mother’s page and click on your name and see anything you post That’s how I found your YM before she blocked me for disagreeing with her.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. It has been a difficult day.
    Elvera has been unusually disturbed today.
    Linda took her to the doctor this afternoon.
    I’m hoping, praying, she will be better tomorrow.

    Question to consider. How would you like to spend all your waking hours in a chair watching TV.
    No. You wouldn’t like it, not after the first day.
    She needs something she can do. But there is nothing I can give her that I don’t have to follow about and set things right again.
    This morning, she was waiting for Argeree, her sister, to come.
    Argeree has been dead several years now.

    We did have a good conversation tonight though. Most of it made sense.
    She talked with much clarity about some Spiritual things.

    Liked by 4 people

  17. Oy, this story. Source who didn’t want name used now says it’s ok but his name sounds fake even though he (and his wife who was on the same line) insist it’s not.


  18. Not being on Facebook, and being discreet with what I post online (no family names or photos, for instance), I hadn’t thought of that aspect of things. That definitely does put a different spin on things.

    I served on a jury once–actually as an alternate, not an official juror, but that wasn’t relevant for this part of things–and we filled out orange cards that gave name, address, workplace, and I don’t remember what all sorts of details. I wouldn’t have had an e-mail address or cell phone yet, but they might well have asked for phone number, too. The judge had the stack of cards, and as he introduced each potential juror, he gave a brief bio based on those orange cards, but he was discreet about it. He wouldn’t address or a workplace, for instance, but would say something like: “It looks like you live on the West Side . . . in an apartment?” The juror would say, “Well, actually it’s a condo.” The judge would go on to say, “And you work in a fast-food restaurant, and you’re married with two children.”

    What I noticed, and what freaked me out a little, was that the attorneys seemed to have those same orange cards (copies of them), and at the defense table I could see the defense attorney looking at each one, with the defendant looking as well. Now, it’s definitely possible that some of the data was blocked out–I certainly hope that was the case–but it freaked me out a little seeing it, and no one told us that parts were redacted, so it certainly seemed possible that a defendant with a good memory might know more about me than I would rather he know.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Maybe it could be resolved by putting her in a special (limited) friends category for the time being – so personal kinds of posts don’t go into her feed?

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Mumsee – (re: needing God to give us a new heart) Yes, indeed. And I pray for her salvation every day..

    6 Arrows – I think you’re right that Nightingale would recognize that she can’t tell me what to do. Maybe there is a particular reason why she has been angry at X’s Mom lately, and she will cool off eventually.

    Michelle – X is living with his grandmother in another town, not his mom. He doesn’t always have a good relationship with his mom. Sometimes when she doesn’t go along with what he wants, he cuts off communication with her for a while.

    I don’t think I’ve shared too much on Facebook about our lives, and am careful about what I do share. I just went back to look at the photo of my living room to make sure it doesn’t mention anything about Nightingale buying me the rug. It doesn’t. It just says that she had ripped up the old carpet and helped put the new living room together. But I will be extra-careful about what info is shared in the future. As you know, I don’t post much stuff about our private lives.

    Kim – If X went to my page, he would only see what I post on “Public”, which isn’t much.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. What do you hope to gain by remaining in contact with her via social networks? What good do you think will come of this?

    There are times when you have to weigh your adult child’s wishes— particularly when said child is living a in stressful situation— against the unknown of the other person.

    We’re to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. I, personally, would chose my daughter over a woman whose influence on her son— a son determined to harm my daughter and grandson for his own ends— appears negligible at best.

    That’s my opinion, but I, obviously don’t know much about the situation.


    Liked by 1 person

  22. As for the child support, since X is on “Disability”, the state pays Nightingale a certain amount each month. But before that, he owed her hundreds of dollars, which would still be owed whether she was making good money or not.

    Their next court date is towards the end of this month. I think they will finally go before a judge to deal with whether or not Nightingale can have sole custody, and the back child support issue. (If she is awarded sole custody, X would still have visitation rights, but all decisions regarding Boy’s upbringing and such would be in her hands, not needing his approval.)

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Kizzie, I didn’t “remember” that he lived with his mom (and as you say, he doesn’t), and that played into my own sense of yeah, maybe it is best to unfriend her.

    Michelle, Kizzie and the other grandmother sometimes have to be in contact because X can’t contact Kizzie. So staying on at least decent terms would seem to be in everyone’s best interests, if it’s possible. And she is the other grandmother of Kizzie’s grandson. As long as X isn’t learning information about Kizzie’s family life (and it sounds like he isn’t), then I return to my original thought that a casual relationship with the other grandmother isn’t a bad thing, and is something that Nightingale needs to be able to accept.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Oh, hi Michelle. I didn’t see you there before posting that comment above.

    I think it is good for X’s Mom and I to have an amicable relationship as Boy’s grandmothers. His parents “relationship”, if you could call it that, since they are cannot be – and are not – in communication, is adversarial. I also want to keep the lines of communication open as I see her making baby steps from atheism to being open to spiritual matters.

    But now you have me second-guessing myself. I will consider this some more.


  25. Oh, rkessler, you’re OK? Sorry about the car, but you’re the important one.

    I post very little personal stuff on FB now also — it’s mostly a work tool for me.

    Liked by 1 person

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