41 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 4-12-18

  1. Good morning all.
    I was just catching up on yesterday’s prayer thread while I was waiting for this to come up
    So much emotional turmoil!
    I pray for the familiar ones I know routinely. but Michelle’s son and some others are new.
    So much gong on. And it seems like nothing is getting done.

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  2. Morning! Keeping all close in prayer this day.
    Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us….Amen….

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  3. On the lighter side, the temperature is supposed to climb to the upper 60s today so I may get my first bicycle ride of the season in. I’ve already e-mailed my boss that I may disappear this afternoon.

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  4. Oh Chas I have been known to do just that….not often but sometimes I just need to get away. Although I’m never truly away because if I have my phone, which I do, my husband can track me and make certain I am safe…oh technology!! 😊

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  5. Good Morning Everyone.
    Just a quick note to ask you for advice and prayer. Sweet DIL is having to go back and forth to the hospital with Maddy so they can weigh her, check bilirubin, make her feel like the baby isn’t getting enough nutrition etc.
    I nursed BG until she was a year old (and went back to work when she was 8 weeks old). I was militant about her not getting formula and I never gave her a bottle. I laugh that I still don’t know how to give a baby a bottle.
    A few days ago Mr. P asked how soon she could pump so the baby could have a bottle. I patiently explained it doesn’t work that way.
    Last night when Son called with the latest update, Mr. P said, “Well, if you have to give the baby a bottle”!!!!! I sat quietly until he was off the phone, then told him if I heard one more peep out of him about giving the baby a bottle I was going to get out my grandmother’s frying pan!
    Then I sent Son a text telling him DIL needed some pampering. Have her go take a bath and relax. Be supportive. Several other ideas that struck me at the time. He is a “good boy” and replied, “Yes ma’am. Thank you”. He has to go in to work part of today and does have to work Saturday. I have a class all day and Grandpa is going to see DIL. Saturday I will be with her to encourage her. I have told her some babies come here knowing what to do, some need encouragement, and some have to have a bottle. I just want her to have a chance to make this work. I know what a special time it was for me. I want it to be her decision to give the baby a bottle, not be pressured into it. I will turn into a Mama Bear over this.

    Any advice? Please pray for KK and Maddie

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  6. Oh the pressure new moms feel from all sides! I was already so insecure about everything that any advice sent me spinning that way and then this way. You’re doing the right thing by supporting her and encouraging her to trust her instincts. Every baby is different.

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  7. I’m all for nursing babies (I did for both) but feel that there is way too much pressure and GUILT around it. When my dear DIL had trouble and wanted to abandon, I encouraged her to do that and those girls, plus millions of other babies, turned out just fine on formula.

    Something else to consider is that once you pump and feed with a bottle, some babies figure out that it’s much easier than “mommy” and turn on you. Our first son did that at about six months – simply puckered up and turned away.

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  8. Trying to finish up this recent round of things at the house, then I can take a break before painting starts. After nearly 2 years I want a life back that doesn’t revolve around this house, I’m so tired of it all right now. We’re almost there, although I fear painting will take forever and a day with the dog park worker — and at this point he’ll be my only affordable option. He and buddy were supposed to move my furniture around and out but I really need to be there for that and we just can’t seem to connect for that. They usually don’t arrive until I’ve left for work already and it’s close to being dark by the time I get home and they’re ready to be paid so they can leave asap. With a new boss this week I really have no flex time at work. I’m supposed to give new editor a driving tour of the areas I cover this afternoon, we were supposed to do it yesterday but we were both too busy.

    And the story about the class ring needs to run this weekend but I can’t get a decent photo out of the ring owner’s sister who now has the ring in Texas. She sent us some awful photos — blurry snapshots of her standing in a yard holding up a ring you can barely see, sent to us in way too-small formats via text messages. Horrible. The photo editor told me to ask her if she could re-do those with maybe more close up shots that were maybe in focus this time and send them full size via email. So far, I’m not getting anything else out of her.

    In the past, we’d just hook up with a newspaper there to professionally shoot it for us, but photo editor said those days are gone, everyone’s so short-staffed that we can’t or don’t really ask for courtesies like that anymore. I can’t believe she doesn’t know someone — even a random kid from down the street? — who could take a couple technically usable shots. But at this stage, it looks like we may have awful, blurry snapshot art to go with a good story. So frustrating.

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  9. Michelle, I have a vague notion you have travel planned somewhere in the near future. When and where? There could be a meet-up opportunity here.

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  10. I, alternately, fed my babies a bottle and nursed them. The sooner a bottle is given, the more likely baby will accept it when necessary. They nursed most of the time, but I did have sitters once in awhile. I did not work outside my home, so it was not often. My babies all weaned themselves by around eight months. They became more social and it was a natural thing to do.

    I was glad people encourage me to keep nursing. It is easy to give up. It is easy to panic over the baby not getting enough, but there are signs to help you be confident.

    A couple of my daughters pumped quite regularly, both for work purposes and health reasons for one baby. That enabled the dad and siblings, as well as daycare workers or babysitters to feed the baby when necessary. Yes, grandparents, too.

    Babies are so wonderfully flexible and not nearly as fragile as we think. I hope your DIL will learn that, Kim, and relax into this wonderful part of her life. I think she is blessed to have your support.

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  11. Kathaleena, some babies really do refuse to nurse once given a bottle, so a mom has to determine which is more important to her, the ability to nurse or the ability to give a bottle. My sister experienced great pain in nursing her babies–every single time they latched on–for the first several months. She was that committed to nursing, and anything that risked the ability to nurse was a no-go for her.

    The firstborn child of two of my three brothers who have children found himself/herself unable to get enough through nursing. Both mothers persevered past the point when they should have given up, so determined were they to nurse. One brother moved across country (California to Georgia) when the baby was a month old, and apparently that dried up her mother’s milk. But La Leche League and others basically told her that every mother can provide enough for her baby, don’t ever give up, and she kept trying. Years later she told us that one day she realized her baby had gotten too weak to cry (!) and that it was time to go to Plan B. Another sister-in-law told everyone that yes, her baby was thin, but all on my side of the family (not her side of the family, her husband’s side) were thin. Well, my mother had given birth to seven children on that side of the family, and she said no, her babies weren’t that thin. Photos of that baby boy are painful to look at–he was clearly too thin. I don’t know if she ever “gave up” and went to the bottle. But indeed sometimes a mother really does need to do so.

    My sister, however, had nurses panicking over at least one of her children not gaining enough. She understood enough to know, though, that bottle-fed babies often gain weight more quickly (which isn’t necessarily a good thing) and only once was it ever an issue. She knew, though, that she had lots of milk, and when the doctors or nurses suggested she supplement with a bottle, she said, “How about if I just feed him more often?” and they said, “Sure, you can try that and see if it works, and if it doesn’t work, then you can give him a bottle.” She increased his feedings (he was rather a laid-back eater and uninclined to fuss), and his weight pleased the medical staff at the next visit enough that it was a non-issue.

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  12. DJ (re: your questions about YF last night) – YF’s dad was a staunch conservative, the kind that does say unkind, judgmental things about certain people. (I say “was” because I think he has mellowed.) Her mom is more liberal, and a sweet lady. I think she has other not-so-nice conservatives in her family, or she misunderstands their stances and paints them as “hateful”. What I have learned is that she does not seem to see nuance in matters, and seems to have an all-or-nothing attitude towards the views of others.

    IOW, say the subject of homosexuality came up. We could write about our love for individual gays, that we treat them with love and respect, etc. But if we hint that we believe homosexuality it a sin, then we are “hateful”. Or if we happen to agree halfway on some other subject, that is just as bad to her as if we totally disagreed. Believe her way or you are hateful or ignorant or whatever.

    As for the biblical references and advice you were giving, I appreciated your sharing them. (I appreciated you engaging her in discussion in general, in such a reasonable, respectful way.) I have often made those same points to her, even using those same verses from Romans, as well as other applicable verses. One time I did so in regards to her unkind, unloving words about a Christian lady in the news who was going to lose her business, and was also in danger of losing her home and life savings at age 70 for refusing to do the flower arrangements for a same-sex wedding. She said she didn’t care that this woman would lose all of that, so I brought up some of those verses, including some from Jesus Himself.

    Her response, which caused me to shudder, was that she still didn’t care, and when she sees Jesus, she will just have a talk with Him about why she felt that way about such horrible people, as if He’ll give her an understanding pass for disobeying Him because she thinks she has a good reason.

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  13. A friend of mine, Ruthie, breastfed all her six children for at least a couple years each. The last one, Caroline, was a little peanut of a baby and child. She only weighed 20 pounds when she turned four! But she was healthy and fine, and is a more “normal” size and weight now that she is seven.

    When Caroline was a baby several months old, there was talk by a doctor of “failure to thrive”, and a possible threat of calling in DCF. Ruthie was so scared about that not-so-veiled threat, but she knew that her baby was nursing enough and healthy enough in every other way. (There never was a call to DCF, thank God.)

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  14. Eastern Europe–are you going to be there? πŸ™‚

    Seriously thinking of skipping even 90 minutes at Auschwitz at this point–way too much tragedy in our lives at the moment and we’re hoping I can finally shed some of the grief of the last six months by taking an actual vacation to somewhere I’ve never been before and where I don’t know anyone!

    (Well, there is Tychicus–sort-of–but he’s not available and Hillary is going to meet us in Berlin before flying home herself! LOL)

    On another note, I got the 640- page dissertation from Fuller Theological seminary yesterday that I requested from the library. (See the lengthy discussion of scanning on my FB page for those interested. Photo is at the bottom of the discussion with the dissertation looming over my slim Ipad!)

    I’ve gotten some great advice on how to efficiently scan about 400 pages of it in the next week, which is great. Other than finishing my Biddy powerpoint for J’s church (I’m speaking there three days after I get back from Berlin!) and packing, I’m pretty much ready to go ahead of time. God is good.

    We continue to grieve the baby, of course, but I’m thankful she came this week while I was here. I felt so guilty that she might come while I was gone and not able to help. And then guilty for feeling that way about her being born so early–you can understand what an emotional muddle all this is.

    And that’s just today. Ciao.

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  15. Nope, not going to be in Eastern Europe. But depending on when you’ll be there, we might be able to see you in California. Are you gone May 5-6?

    After that we’re heading south. We’ll be staying near Fuller and visiting a friend who’s a student there, so if you’re done with that dissertation we might be able to save you shipping cost. πŸ™‚

    Did I say we’re heading south? Hmm, another possible meet-up?

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  16. Interesting, Kizzie, thanks for the background. Yes, I’ve gathered she’s a my-way-or-the-highway, black-and-white kind of gal πŸ™‚ I was pretty self-righteous in my youth but don’t think I quite came close to that. At least I hope I didn’t!

    Meanwhile, water heater drama at the homestead while I’m at work. I am planning to run away from home as soon as it is convenient to do so.

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  17. We talked with the therapist today.
    We decided that Elvera would stay there two weeks.
    Then look at it.

    Elvera nursed Chuck.
    He cried a lot and we didn’t know why. But my mother came out after a couple of weeks to see her first grandchild. .
    She said, “He’s hungry.” So we bought some bottles and formula.
    He guzzled it down. He wasn’t getting enough.
    I have concluded that every young mother needs an older woman at times.

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  18. I got through the exam and then headed to see my family, whom I had not laid eyes on for two months. Next exam is next week.

    Kim, all Miss Maddie’s mother needs is time and space. Second had difficulty with her first, Tiny Niece, who lost almost too much weight in the first week (she was just at the cutoff point) and did not feed well. Second suffered from repeated blocked ducts and even mastitis, but she persisted and succeeded. Tiny Niece has a cousin, Fifth Nephew, who is only a week younger than her, and Tiny Niece now stands four inches taller than him and talks a lot more than he does (that latter difference may be because Fifth has two older sisters πŸ˜‰ ). In other words, Tiny suffered no permanent damage from her shaky start to feeding, while her younger brother is prospering from Second’s feeding. My dear friend and relative had a similar amount of trouble with her first child, and she ended up pumping milk and feeding it to her eldest from a bottle. She had two more children and was able to breastfeed both just fine.

    I’m assuming that Miss M has some jaundice, since her bilirubin is being checked – jaundiced babies tend to be a bit sleepy, so they do not feed as well (feeding is an important part of helping to clear newborn jaundice). You were right to threaten the frying pan. Tension can interfere with milk letdown, and young mothers have a difficult time adjusting at the best of times. Babies arrive with considerable fat stores to get them through those first days of transitioning. In West Africa, they believed that the colostrum was bad, so babies weren’t even begun to be fed until the mother’s milk came in. That was certainly not healthy for the babies (and probably contributed to the high infant mortality rate) but many of them did survive without feeding for the first few days. So, if newborns can survive with nothing at all for a few days, then whatever Miss M is getting is much better than nothing.

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  19. DJ – She’s 31 now, so not exactly in her youth anymore. Young compared to us, yes, but old enough to have matured beyond where she is now.

    I really think that her maturity has been stunted by two things – the fact that she hasn’t held down a real job in the almost eight or nine years since she graduated college, and that, in some ways, her mother treats her grown daughters like they’re still children. And yet her younger (by almost seven years) sister has been working, bought herself a car, and is now going to be studying to be an LPN.

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  20. Oh, I forgot to update y’all about our going to the DMV this morning.

    We arrived almost 20 minutes before it opened, and there was already a line waiting outside. A couple DMV employees arranged for us all to enter the building and get in line, with one man going down the line, asking why we were there, and handing out the appropriate forms.

    The next step was a preliminary stop at one counter, where we told the lady what we were there for, and showed her the paperwork. We found out that we can put the cars directly in Nightingale’s name, without her having to buy them from me, but there was a question about her car insurance. She is on Hubby’s insurance as a driver, but since it is not in her name, it doesn’t count for registering the cars.

    So Nightingale needs to get her own insurance, and then we can go back and finish the process. Not having anything more we could do after that preliminary step, we were there less than an hour. Then we stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts on the way home, and each had a Coconut and Caramel Latte and a donut.

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  21. Chas, so has the clock started ticking for the 2 weeks? Two weeks from this past Sun-Mon? If so, she’s part way there. It does sounds like a long time but it’ll make for a better/easier homecoming.

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  22. I think it must be a very, very rare thing for a baby to refuse the breast, because of an occasional bottle. That is not something you would know in advance. I found it far more difficult to get a baby to take a bottle when necessary when they are normally breast fed. Some seem to have no problem switching back and forth.

    I would certainly encourage a new mother to continue nursing and work through any problems. However, to make them feel they can never use is a bottle is extreme in my opinion.

    I was shocked when my babies had colic issues, since La Leche League said breast fed babies did not have those problems. They also said they wouldn’t have allergies or far less. That was not true for my babies, either. This was years ago. I have no idea what they say now.

    I am so glad I breast fed and encouraged my daughters to do the same. Nine of my grandchildren were breast fed with occasional bottles. One had a very difficult time and my daughter had to pump and feed with a bottle. Even that was a challenge, but not unusual for that baby’s particular health issues.

    I have lived long enough to hear all kinds of changes in what is an absolute must for parents to do for babies.

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  23. Placing the bassinet in the sunlight coming through the window will help the bilirubin. The more fluids they take and pass through will push it out. So much pressure put on mom with a healthy baby!

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  24. I was almost 80 here today, with wind gusts up to 70mph. There is a fire up by Capitan. No break in the wind expected till Saturday.

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  25. I got a chuckle out of Janice’s post a couple of days ago, about being glad she had the extra clothes. I have been working quite a bit. Last week, I had a day off and did like 8 loads of laundry. I did not know I had so many uniform shirts!

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