81 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 10-7-17”

  1. I woke up this morning with this song on my mind. I don’t know why.
    It’s the first song I can remember telling mother that I liked.
    I don’t know why, it’s macabre song., I don’t really care for it anymore.
    I was also surprised when I looked on youtube that it had been recorded so many time.
    It has to be over 75 years old and was recorded by Hank Snow and others.

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  2. On yesterday’s thread, Cheryl was suggesting that Donna get an intern to help.
    That would be good training for an intern, Working in a field where all the regulars were let go. He would soon decide to drive trucks.
    However, in ten years, everything will be delivered by drones.
    Maybe he would decide to go into politics. There is always money in that.

    Do they still have Journalism schools? Serious question.

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  4. I don’t think Kizzie has been far from any of our thoughts and prayers this past week or even month. Today will be the longest and shortest day of her life so far. Tomorrow morning the sun will rise and the world will go on, but she will be left with her grief and emptiness.
    I pray today she is wrapped in love and prayers.

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  7. No. Turtles jockeying for position. Seems some folks ignore the Do Not Feed the Animals signs, and the turtles’ know this. When you stop on the bridge, 3 or 4 turtles pop up thinking you must have stopped to feed them. 🙂

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  8. AJ, I wonder if “Do not feed the animals” might not make it worse–it occurs to people that there are animals that can be fed.

    Now, when Kim took me to Alligator Alley (was that the right name?) the bridge had a couple different signs, which I photographed together, which I believe included no feeding the gators and no diving from bridge, or something like that–only a fool wouldn’t understand the significance of those signs, but turtles?

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  10. Yes, ten years and the trucks will not need drivers, they say. But currently they are something like eighty thousand short on drivers. And the story I heard from my truck driving friend is that the aid got to Puerto Rico but there were no drivers to deliver it.

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  11. At the end of Kim’s 8:31, you get a chance to hear Chuck Wagon Gang sing “Jesus, Hold My Hand”. I love it.
    Chuck Wagon Gang is my favorite group. The women, as in the Carter Family, carry the load in all the songs. The men are important, but are backup.

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  13. Re: warning signs- I think there is something in the human brain that causes rebellion when faced with a “Do Not” command. We just want to do it anyway, even if we normally wouldn’t. I see it in young people, for sure. And how many of us see a “Wet Paint” sign and touch the paint to see if it really is wet?

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  15. Chas – I want you to know that I put in your suggestion as my last line. 🙂

    Now let’s see if I can get through it. I’m printing it off in large print in case my eyes get teary. (In case?) If I can’t get through it, I will hand it to Pastor Billy to finish for me.

    I will be wearing nice black slacks with a kind of fancy top that drapes nicely. It has subdued colors & a black inset at the top. But. . .it also has little sparkles on it. I know some would think that is inappropriate, but they’re not big or too splashy, so I’m going with it.

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  18. Kizzie, praying for you. And funeral attire isn’t as subdued/black as it used to be. In the last seven years I have been to two family funerals where many of the family wore red (but hadn’t mentioned it to me) because it was the deceased person’s favorite color. (My sister-in-law and father-in-law; in both cases the spouse and some of the children wore red.)

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  19. Prayed for Kizzie and family upon awakening today. There is something of a relief once the funeral is behind you, but you’re also left just emotionally spent by then.

    We used to have interns but then the laws changed and there was some problem (we probably had to pay them something and our owners said “WHAT??!!”). Anyway, no interns for a while because of that, but we do have two new young people, fresh out of college, journalism majors, who will be working part-time (one at our paper the other at the one sister paper across the harbor) to do what our editorial/newsroom assistants used to do in compiling calendar items, etc. Our city editor said he also hopes to press them into service to write stories now and again (yay). But they each will be working only 20 hours a week. They’re so eager and cute — gal has long red hair, guy is African American, both so polite and willing to do whatever we throw at them. 🙂 The guy (who will be working for our paper) said it’s his “first journalism job” and he is thrilled. It helps to have fresh attitudes among us.

    I honestly have no idea what journalism majors, career-wise, do for real work these days.

    Have to make sure the profits stay high for our hedge fund owners and their shareholders, you know. (eye roll)

    Yesterday was exhausting. I had to listen to a port meeting that went on for almost 3 hours, starting at 8:30 a.m., and then had to write 3 stories. Working on that new system, with all the numerous extras we now have to do to turn in a story, left me exhausted.

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  20. We also had a staffer from the OC paper with us all day Friday to help us navigate through any questions or problems that arose with the new system. There continue to be “issues.”

    Over an in-house staff lunch yesterday, he said he’s an Uber driver on the side (as is the young new part-timer). Everyone’s got to have 2-3 gigs anymore to make it all work. 😦

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  21. Might be an interesting way to find stories, driving Uber . . .

    Several of my friends write out their stories/blog posts on Word and then cut and paste it into WordPress (WP). I would do that if I thought of it, but I’ve been writing on WP so long, it’s natural for me to do it.

    Also, I have an SEO Yoast feature which will add links to items so I don’t have to look them up. I don’t know if you have that feature or not–I’d think so, since you’re professional.

    Indeed, it makes sense to me that if the paper has been digital, there might be some way of writing a program that pulls up past stories on that subject for Yoast. An idea, but maybe that’s too sophisticated right now.

    Best of luck with all that. Hey, you CAN take an old dog new tricks, remember?

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  22. Kizzie you and yours were on my heart as I awakened this morning and you continue to be throughout this morning. I cannot help but think Leon would be smiling at what you are wearing…as described he was a man with a perpetual sparkle in his eye…the blouse is perfect ❤️

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  23. We have been putting hyperlinks to past stories in what we’re writing for ages, and we’re still doing that (and that’s much easier on WordPress than on our former system, Saxo); but now we also need to try to add “related articles” for lists out to the side. We’re all still trying to figure out what would be the hyperlink vs. related stories. It would be nice if something pulled some of those things up naturally, but I don’t think it does for us.

    There also is no spell check? Strange.

    I worked on WordPress for the pets blog several years ago and found it very user friendly and easy. But for writing stories now, with this version of it for newspapers, there have been so many additional steps added — tags, primary tags, section, primary section, geographical tags, social media “excerpt lines” and decks (on and on, boxes to find and check off endlessly with each story) — that it’s very labor-intensive.

    And then there’s the additional job reporters have now to add photos, photo galleries, videos, other media, and embed those in our stories for immediate online posting. oy.

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  24. Our assistant who’s taking the buyout (her last day was yesterday) was saying she was thinking of doing Uber driving. She already has lined up a part-time job at the port’s cruise terminal, pointing passengers in the right direction for whatever they need as they come and go on the ships.

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  25. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to learn and use a new system like that while having to meet writing deadlines, too, DJ. It’s been quite a learning curve for me, having a website and writing occasional blog posts, but I can do those at my own pace. What a nightmare if they had to be in by a certain time while still learning the ropes! I sympathize with you and all you have to do. It reminds me of the Israelites having to still meet their daily quota of bricks even after getting assigned to gather up all the straw themselves!

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  27. DJ, I wonder how much of what they make you do is really of value to readers and how much of it is just to be trendy.

    For example, I’m not sure what you mean by “social media ‘excerpt lines'”, but it made me think of articles that show a screen shot of a tweet. To me that just gets in the way of reading the article and makes the page feel cluttered. Moreover, it’s redundant when the tweet’s text is quoted in the article text anyway.

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  28. I used to put my tweets in the middle of the post and shifted them to the bottom just for Kevin’s reason. I want to read the story first and then look at any extra links.

    Again, my Yoast SEO can add “similar articles,” I don’t have to do that–and in fact, prefer not to do so outside of the links I put in. Trying to find photos in the public domain also takes quite a long time. It’s simpler to use my own photos, but a newspaper would have a photo and story morgue–which is great, but means searching and spending more time on it.

    Craziness indeed.

    My husband pointed out that interns just need a training program, they shouldn’t necessarily have to be paid. Even a kid from the high school could come in to work after school for a couple hours to put in tweets.

    Because stories can constantly be updated, I’d think the reporter could put them up as best they have them, and then the intern comes along an hour or two later and adds the “frills.”

    But, I don’t own a paper. I just have minimal experience with my own blog.

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  30. Yes, something changed in the employment laws, I believe, to make interns a thing of the past for us, sadly. They were so great when we had them. And these days, with our skeleton staffing, they’d be a huge help.

    “Related stories” would have to be those from our data base (that originated with us) as I think the idea there is to get people to poke around more on our page, not send them anywhere else.

    trendy? Indeed. Those of us who have already been through a few iterations of the digital revolution are hard to impress with the latest changes, seems like we’ve been there, done that — all — before. They’re also reconfiguring the beats, something that’s also been tried before. Makes for busy work for the bosses, I suppose.

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  31. The Fair Labor Standards Act, or FLSA, regulates minimum wage and overtime for U.S. workers, including interns. The Department of Labor’s Wage and Hour Division is responsible for enforcing the law, and has a six-factor test to determine whether interns at private sector employers must be paid minimum wage.

    Unpaid Internship Rules. … That’s not to say employers can never have unpaid interns; they’re just not very common, at least legally. State laws may also apply, but the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) governs how interns must be compensated under federal law.

    From 2013:

    https://www.propublica.org/article/when-interns-should-be-paid-explained

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  32. For those who don’t follow DJ’s link, it looks to me as if many situations could pass five of the six test factors, but the killer is this one:

    The employer doesn’t benefit from work the intern is doing, “and on occasion its operations may actually be impeded.”

    In other words, if the intern isn’t doing anything for you except maybe making your job harder, it’s okay not to pay them.

    It seems sad that the rules prohibit an arrangement — well understood and in writing — entered into freely by both parties for mutual benefit.

    The rules are relaxed a some for non-profits, but that doesn’t help DJ’s newsroom.

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  33. The rules probably prevent other things that are less desirable. Hedge Funds tend to thrive on ‘greed-is-good’ thinking. They might cut another reporter or 2 if they could leverage interns to do some tech work so the remaining reporters could be forced to produce more. Or have interns do actual reporting. It’s unfortunate, but that’s what happens when common sense becomes uncommon. :–/

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  34. I think Debra is correct–and speaking as the parent whose college senior drove 60 miles one way to work an 8 hour shift at a hospital (Catholic at that) doing LPN work for free, I get it. We had to buy her a car so she could get there. She received no pay, not even school credit (needed 1000 hours of volunteer work to apply for medical school) and the hospital could fire all their LPNs. (Licensed practical nurses–no degrees, just basic bed pan, bedmaking jobs)

    That, of course, meant men and women who would never be able to become doctors or RNs (they’ve gotten rid of the AA degree now) for whatever reason, won’t be able to make a reasonable living in healthcare at a hospital.

    Who benefits from that?

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  35. I am one who found benefit from an unpaid internship. I got three hours of college credit, internships weren’t required and most of my fellow students didn’t bother and I thus had that advantage on my resume . . . and the internship was probably one of the factors that led the company to hire me after graduation (since my internship was in marketing and my employment was in editorial, I am not sure how much that helped), but also I ended up getting some paid freelance work later because of the practical unpaid work at that time.

    However, in Nashville I had a housemate who had a master’s degree and a lot of college debt, but did assorted jobs (including walking dogs) to make any money she could while she tried to get a job in an over-crowded field (music). She ended up working an internship for a start-up company that loved, loved, loved her work and would hire her for a paid position as soon as they could . . . so she gave them very good work for many months until she finally just couldn’t throw her time away at what increasingly looked like an unlikely prospect. She worked for them for months, and then in the next few months they had two more interns, probably given the same indefinite promise.

    Our older daughter did a paid internship after college, one that kept being extended (it was originally only over the summer, and a couple of other interns–not yet graduates–worked with her for that first summer), and eventually they hired her full-time.

    A specified, limited internship for mutual benefit (ten hours a week for fifteen weeks, say, and maybe with the possibility of some additional paid work) can be very helpful to someone just starting out in a field. But hours and hours a week, many months of work, with nothing in the future, isn’t good for anyone.

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  36. Michelle – Nightingale is an LPN, & that is not at all “just basic bed pan, bedmaking jobs”. What you describe is more of a CNA (certified nursing assistant) than an LPN. Nightingale does real “nurse stuff” in her job, & it takes a lot of intelligence & skill.

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  37. Hubby’s memorial service was very nice. I made it through reading my piece without breaking down. There were so many hugs & expressions of sorrow, as well as offers of help. He would have been surprised & pleased to see how many people thought so highly of him.

    And there was lots & lots of food, much of which is now in my kitchen. We will not be starving any time soon.

    Such a blessing to see AJ, Cheryl, & Elizabeth, & Linda. Linda greeted me as I got out of the car. They conveyed your hugs & love to me wonderfully. My daughters were touched by their presence, too.

    I was wearing down towards the end of the reception time. I have to admit that I am glad that is all over now, but also sad to start the rest of my life without my beloved.

    It is amazing how heavy the “urn” of ashes is. (Urn is in quotation marks because although that is what they call it, it is more like a box.) I know the urn is not that heavy at all, since we looked at it at the funeral home. The flag folding & presentation by two people from the Air Force, & the (recorded) playing of Taps, was moving. Hubby would have been very pleased.

    If you had heard Pastor Billy, many of you would have been surprised to hear him say something about how we do not choose God, but God chooses us. 🙂

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  39. Yeah, and I don’t know why I put an exclamation point after my statement about bricks and straw. It probably looks like I was trying to be humorous or something, when it is decidedly unfunny, and I’m sorry for what you’re dealing with at work, DJ.

    Kizzie, glad it was a nice memorial service. You and yours will continue to be in my frequent prayers.

    Such a blessing Linda, as well as AJ and family, were able to be with you today. Thank you for bringing hugs and love on behalf of the members of this blog.

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  40. Yes, prayers continuing. What you said about fading out toward the end of the reception reminded me of what happened to me toward the end of my mom’s reception (at her house where I grew up). I found myself just sitting in the living room, not talking, just feeling dazed (her death was unexpected and she was still in her 60s). One of my cousins suggested my ex-boyfriend, who was with me that day for the funeral, bless him, take me back home and from there I just slept, as I recall.

    The weeks to come were hard, as then it’s the process of “going through things” — clothes, etc. My cousins were a great help during that time. We also had to clear the house out quickly to rent as I was taking the dogs (having been unable to find other homes) and would be moving into a rental house myself — and I’d need the extra income from my mom’s house to make all that work.

    But God gets us through — your loss is deeper, a spouse, but God will provide as He always has.

    And getting past the “funeral day” is a big step in it all.

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  41. And there will be “things” that will be poignant, very unexpectedly sometimes. I remember when an editor at the former paper I worked for lost her husband. Several months later I was talking to her about the diet shake flavors we all (she, her husband and I — we all got them from our mutual doctor) were on for the past 1-2 years.

    Suddenly, she just says, “I can’t talk about this. It was something (husband) and I used to talk about and shared in common, and it just really upsets me right now.” I felt horrible, had no idea, but certainly never brought it up again.

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  45. Good Morning Everyone. It is about 6:40 here. Coffee is made and dogs have been out. We are safe. I walked around out back and everything is fine and I looked out front. I don’t see any damage anywhere. Most all of my people have “checked in and marked themselves safe” on FB. Who knew that would be such a good thing to have and know? I felt silly answering the invitation I had to mark myself safe. This wasn’t much of a storm where I am but I understand other areas are flooded. Water was always the biggest danger in my mind from this storm.
    I laughed yesterday and told Mr. P the modern gift for a 5th anniversary is a hurricane. Only the most special of us may receive one. 😉
    Church is cancelled today, so I am going to drink coffee and read.

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  46. Glad you’re safe, Kim. Since church is cancelled, you could do what we do. We go to sermonaudio.com and listen to a sermon or two. It’s not the same as being there, but we get to hear other men preach whom we wouldn’t hear other wise.

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  50. Sermon Audio is a great feature, our church is on that. Once when I was home from church on a sick day, I think, I listened to a sermon from Scotland, which was kind of cool.

    It looks so strange to see my front porch so bare. It’s a really big porch and I had planter pots, a couple animal moldings, a plant stand & a long bench on it before (all now in the backyard and/or garage. Nice, though, because now it’s ready to re-design with my “new look.” I’ll leave it mostly bare until the house is painted, of course.

    Real Estate Guy was telling other Dog Park Driveway and Lights friend that painting might be complicated due to lead paint issues the house most likely has inside and out (but especially outside where there has been some chipping away of the stucco around that cracking foundation area). So Dog Park Guy says the prep work alone to paint could take maybe a month, with him & others working off and on.

    Sure wish the foundation & windows could have been done sooner, in summer as I’d hoped & planned. But at least it’s getting done before the end of the year.

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  53. Thank you for those continued prayers. This morning I am actually feeling somewhat almost normal, although sadly so. The great intensity of the grief is beginning to lift. Not the grief itself, but that initial unbearable intensity. But I am still quite weary. Nightingale went back to work this morning.

    I am nervous about tomorrow coming, because it will be the beginning of dealing with various difficulties, & trying to figure out what needs to be done.

    Please excuse me if I repeat what I’ve written previously in the coming days. One time I was proofreading an email I’d written, & I found I’d written almost the exact words twice within it. My mind has not been working on all cylinders.

    Something that pleasantly surprised me at the memorial service yesterday were the heartfelt words that YF spoke to me. She was looking into my eyes intently, with tears in hers, encouraging me about how Hubby is with Jesus now. Her emotion was real, & touching. Her dad was quite emotional, too.

    Some people tucked some money in cards, & there was also an offering taken. The church is also taking a love offering this morning. I am so touched & blessed by the outpouring of love from my church family, & my blog family, as well as some others.

    Seeing the urn containing Hubby’s ashes for the very first time, there on the “display table” at the front of the sanctuary, hit me hard.

    What has surprised & pleased me about this tragedy is that God has already brought some good from it. We are reconciled with Brother, SIL, & Niece, who were also all at the service, & offered any help they could give.

    In other family news. . .I’m sure you remember that Niece is married to A, a “trans man”. She has recently become pregnant through IVF. That baby will be in my prayers. Actually he or she has already been in my prayers a bit. I have a particular prayer that I pray for The Boy once or twice a week (although I pray for him every day in other ways), & I always include at the end that I pray it also for a number of children I know & don’t know, & for any other children that may be born into this family or his dad’s family.

    My faith is still strong, & Hubby’s was, too, right to the end. Before one of the procedures he had, a little over a week before he died, we expressed to each other our faith in, & surrender to, God’s sovereignty & care. But I must admit that, although I believe strongly in our Heavenly Father’s goodness & in Romans 8:28, I do not understand why this had to happen, why our fervent prayers for him to be around for The Boy, in particular, were answered (or not) in this way. I know He has a plan & a purpose, but right now I am having trouble seeing what it could be. (Pastor Billy mentioned this in his message, & said that he loves a Christian honest enough to say those things. That was nice.)

    Even so, I hold on to what I know to be true. I walk by faith, not by sight. And I pray that my girls, & others who know me, would know in their hearts that I am not holding on blindly to a fairy tale, but that God is indeed real & true.

    Have I mentioned how this past week has drawn Nightingale & I, already good friends as well as mother & daughter, even closer together? She has been a gem. She has also been much more physically affectionate than usual, which has been such a comfort & blessing. I feel somewhat closer to Chickadee, too, but she hasn’t been around much, so it is not the same as with Nightingale.

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  54. As I’ve previously mentioned, some of what is causing me some stress (& I am so working on not giving into that stress & worry) is that Hubby’s system for bill paying & banking & filing & such is so. . .excuse the phrase. . .screwed up. There is currently a big pile of unfiled bills & papers. (He would let them pile up, then make a project of dealing with them.) And the bills that came in while he was in the hospital. He taught me a little bit of how to deal with some of them online, so at least I have some inkling of what to do, but by no means do I have a handle on that.

    Nightingale has been telling me to just take it one bill at a time, & not hurry. If they want their money, they know where to find us.

    There are also other things we need to take care of, such as going to probate court, filing for his Social Security, finding out about what kind of health insurance I can get, etc. If I ponder these things all together, I get a feeling of panic rising up within me, & I have to talk it down.

    So I guess besides the usual prayers for comfort & provision & whatnot, please pray that through all of this, I would remain calm & at peace. I have a tendency to panic about these kinds of things, to start to kind of “freak out” inside. Hubby was the one who would talk me down, as we were in this together. (And I did the same for him at times.)

    But I am not alone in this, as Nightingale is here by my side to help in what she can help with, & to encourage me. She is a smart cookie, & a sweet daughter.

    Which reminds me of another matter of prayer. I have found that at times I now get a panicky feeling of fear of losing her. Please pray that those feelings will not grow & take over, that I will have peace. From a practical view, please pray that Chickadee will decide she wants to learn to drive, the thought of which I know her anxiety is strong over. But it would be helpful to have a second driver in the family.

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  55. Friday evening, The Boy was with his dad’s family to celebrate Mr X’s birthday (which was actually October 2 – the day Hubby died). Nightingale decided to get pizza. I thought it would be nice if she & I relaxed with our pizza & watched one of the shows I have recorded. The choice was between This Is Us (which she doesn’t watch, but has heard all about from me after each episode), or Criminal Minds. Realizing that This Is Us is always emotional, I figured the murder & mayhem on Criminal Minds would be easier to take emotionally. 🙂

    I have managed to keep my sense of humor through all this, too, & Hubby would be proud. When one of my young Facebook friends posted simply, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!” I replied, “Chooooooo!!??” A couple people got a kick out of that.

    And in wondering aloud to Nightingale how long I should wear this wedding ring (did I tell you I am wearing his, since mine haven’t fit for a while?), I then said, “Well, I have to take it off sometime, so the guys will know they can hit on me.” 😀 (Nightingale says I am not allowed to remarry, she will not let me. Not seriously, of course, she wouldn’t stand in my way if that should happen to be an option. At this point, I cannot imagine remarrying. And I wouldn’t want to go through this grief all over again over another husband. But of course, if God brought someone along, & I strongly felt it was God’s will, I would. But even typing that, I’m thinking it is unimaginable.)

    Oh, my, this is a ramble of various thoughts. Good to get them out through my fingertips.

    Thank you for your love, prayers, & encouragement. God bless!

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  58. Kizzie, I am wondering if perhaps your pastor could help you with some of those things? I am sure that he has probably helped others before and might know how to go about doing some things. Just a thought.

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  59. Kizzie, don’t even worry at this point about “how long” to wear the ring. My sister lost her husband four years ago and she has moved beyond active, everyday grief. I haven’t seen her in the last year and don’t know if she is still wearing her husband’s wedding band on a chain around her neck and her own on her finger, but last I knew she still was. My mother-in-law (who lost her life mate in February) is still wearing her rings, and she still wears as jewelry the piece a friend made for her, for some big anniversary, of their original wedding rings joined together (sort of a figure-eight; she wears it on a chain around her neck; she wore it daily while he was alive, and she still wears it daily). My mom wore her wedding ring on her left hand for at least a year (it might have been longer, I’m not sure) and then eventually transferred it to her right hand, but still wore it for several years.

    Perhaps at some point you will no longer want to wear it, but that is likely to be some time in the future, and that’s OK.

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  61. Yes, I realize it is entirely up to me.

    I wonder if there used to be a custom of how long a widow or widower wore their wedding rings. So many customs have fallen by the wayside, for good or ill. My MIL said that she & her family had to wear black for a long time after her father died, maybe a year? As I result, after that time, she would wear black slacks or a black skirt, but preferred colorful tops or dresses. She hated all black attire.

    It’s so strange to think that “technically”, & even biblically, I am single. Doesn’t feel that way.

    Reminds me of a TV movie I saw several years ago. The female main character was becoming seriously involved with a widower, but he broke it off because he felt he was cheating on his wife, even though he knew he really wasn’t.

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  62. I remember my mom wondering about the ring, too, after my dad died. She told me the custom as she knew it was to switch it to your right hand. But she wore hers (on the left hand, it was a extremely thin gold band so didn’t show or “flash” much) and eventually I noticed she put another ring — an amethyst she bought in Mexico — on that same finger, so it was somewhat obscured.

    My mom had a couple guys interested in her, the plumber and a retired military man at the senior center where she volunteered, but she never seemed interested in remarrying (in spite of my encouraging her with the 2nd fellow; the plumber was kinda creepy, I thought — but hey, the pipes in the house would have all been in good condition).

    And the good thing about all the “stuff” you now have to do is it’s actually a needed distraction, I think. You’ll be busy-busy with it all, there will be both laughter and tears, and it’s probably exactly what you need. Leon’s death was something of a shock that came upon quite suddenly, which makes processing all of it harder.

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  63. Speaking of predestination, which weren’t, but … our pulpit guest minister today (our pastor and his wife are galavanting for a month in Europe) mentioned a quote from John MacArthur: “If you could lose your salvation, you would.”

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  64. It has been a long day here. Non stop talking by sixteen year old. She keeps saying the same thing: I want to become a Catholic so badly. Oh, I want to become a Catholic. All day long. Intermixed with: I want to start my own religion. But mostly: I want to become a Catholic. I have told her that is her choice when she grows up. Even if she would behave for the next nine months, treat others with respect being her only requirement, she could start classes. Long long day…

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  66. All of this is part of grief, Kizzie. Nightingale is right, one day at a time. You’re going to be scattered; which is why widows and widowers are advised to wait at least a year before making any major decisions–the goal is to survive.

    I think my friend wore her ring for about three years. One day she knew it was time to take it off. It will come.

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  67. A week ago today, Hubby had dialysis, which, if you remember, took four hours for them to start a line (I think that’s how they put it), which was an ordeal, & he was exhausted afterwards. He didn’t want to see us, but the nurse let me go in quickly to give him a kiss. As he was about to drift off, I kissed his temple & said “I love you, & I am praying for you,” & he replied, “I love you, too.”

    Those were our last words to each other. (I am so glad the nurse let me go in for that brief moment.)

    That night, I sobbed in bed, “Oh, my poor husband!” over & over.

    The next morning. . .well, you know the rest.

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  69. This evening as I ate some leftover pizza for dinner, I watched the first episode of the season for Blue Bloods (I’m a week behind). It was revealed that the wife of one of the main characters had died in an accident a few months ago, & he was having trouble handling his grief. That “got to me”, of course, but what really made me start crying (& made me glad Nightingale wasn’t watching) was this. . .

    The ex-husband of another main character had been stabbed & needed emergency surgery. As they were waiting to see if he would make it, she was saying he had to make it, because he had to be there to see their daughter graduate college this year, & be there to walk her down the aisle when she gets married.

    Oh, my goodness, that did it. Earlier today I had been thinking that if Nightingale (or Chickadee) ever gets married, Hubby wouldn’t be there to walk her down the aisle.

    (The ex-husband survived.)

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  70. I remember after my husband left going to a movie with my children. The main character was a choir director and they had a deaf child. In the movie, he was tempted and made the decision to stay with his family. I just sat there and the tears streamed down. Let yourself grieve. Praise the Lord that your memories are sweet.

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  73. Kizzie, please do keep sharing/venting/grieving on here. I wish I was closer to you – I would love to come help organize all the papers – it’s what I do for a living and nothing makes me happier than figuring out where things go and the proper order for things. Just focus on one paper at a time, or collect all like bills (i.e., all electric bills) and put them in order of date and you should be able to see what has been paid and can be filed for later and what needs to be dealt with in the next couple of weeks. Once you’ve eliminated the paid bills, your piles should be a lot smaller and you can work your way through them one at a time.

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  76. Kare – I’m pretty sure the awful pile is only bills that have already been paid, just need to be filed. As for Hubby’s mixed up filing system (which isn’t even in alphabetical order, either), I thought that every time I find a file I need, I will put it in front, then start alphabetizing them as I go along. That would be easier than trying to alphabetize them all at once.

    I have my own pile of bills that have come in since the last ones he had me pay, in order of when they came in, so dealing with that shouldn’t be too confusing. At least I hope not. 🙂

    Goodnight, my dear friends. Have to be up early for childsitting tomorrow. The Boy has the day off from school for Columbus Day, & Nightingale is working.

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  80. Strong winds blowing through here. Things are falling from the overhead trees onto the roof with loud clumps and bumps, nothing gentle about it.
    My cold is worse. I forgot to buy the nose spray to allow me to breathe at night. Not sure how I am going to sleep.
    Perhaps the recliner would be the best place??

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  81. oh, someone brought me an enormous bouquet of flowers, rather an arrangement she had bought for the church today. I was grateful, but am allergic. So about 5:30 I headed over to Awana to give them to one of the leaders, praying as I went. God gave me a name and I went in and gave them to her. Not sure why. Later I remembered that her husband had committed suicide several years ago. God gave her flowers today.

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