I am continuing to ask for prayers for the Girl Child. I have already spent a lot of the day thinking about her and praying. I am not quite convinced her attitude has changed. It is mostly her attitude that her father and I are crazy and stupid and she is almost 18 and isn’t a child anymore and it is HER car and she can do as she pleases.
She will lie and move heaven and earth to be with this boy that we know nothing about except that her best friend can’t stand him and her cousin knows some things about him and doesn’t like him and that she has skipped a lot of school this past year to be with him. Any mention of him to her put her all out of sorts and she refuses to tell anything about him. We if he is so wonderful we need to meet him. We need to have him over for hamburgers. She doesn’t want him to meet us because we are crazy and she isn’t a child. I explained to her last night that her daddy and I can fake sanity with the best of ’em and she doesn’t have to worry about how we will act so it must be that she is ashamed of him. I also explained to her that he father gets up at 4 am several days a week and drive from Hattiesburg MS down through the coast, through Coastal Alabama and over into the Florida Panhandle to pay for the maintenance, upkeep, and insurance on that cute little car she drives and that gives him the right to tell her when it needs to be parked in the drive. I told her how her Papa wasn’t happy in the least little bit when I started dating her daddy, but I didn’t hide him. He came to the house and met my father and when my father told me to be home at 10 HER father had me home by 9:30. He told her he was scared to death when that 9 foot tall man answered the door. That showed respect. Any guy worthy of your time needs to respect you and your parents. We told her what we went through to have her and how much we loved her but part of that love was giving her boundaries and making sure she was safe.
I told her that when she was crawling out the windows at my house the therapist had told me to call the police and have them pick her up and that if she didn’t obey her father on the curfew he gave her either one of us was likely to pick up the phone and report her car stolen. In the end the three of us did a big family hug with us both assuring her that no matter what ever happened between her father and me that we both loved her. Except then her dad told her he probably loved Amos more because he had to bring some humor back into it.
He and I left her in her room and walked back through the living room. We found his mother- Nana in her room crying. I think that poked my heart the most. I truly think that is the first time I have ever seen the woman cry. I sat down and put my arm around her and she turned to hold me and cry more. I am having a hard time swallowing just telling you that. She said she had been in the living room praying and talking to her husband (deceased) when I walked in the back door.
The three of us discussed it some more and decided that we will buy a drug test and test BG, there will also be another one in the house for random testing.
In my home, both growing up and raising my own children, freedom came with supporting ones self. You cannot be ‘independent ‘ and expect someone else to pay for it. I always told my girls that when they paid their own bills, they could make their own rules. Not too many can afford a house payment, vehicle and medical insurance, a car and be able to afford to run around when you are a teenager.
Thank you. I was just thinking about how manipulative she can be, and then I got my second wind. She doesn’t have a clue who she is dealing with. I learned at the feet of the Queen of Manipulation. My mother. I can spot a con a mile away. I just was blinded by the fact that she is my precious baby girl I wanted so much.
Kim – That was a good point that BG must be ashamed of him to not introduce him to you. A point on the flip side of that is that if he is the one who doesn’t want to meet you, then he must have something to hide. You can make that point without directly asking her if he’s the one reluctant to meet.
I know this is so very tough on your heart. Praying for you all.
Did I ever tell you how we found out about Emily & R? It was Memorial Day weekend eight years ago, shortly after Emily turned 18. She had been on the computer (the only one we had at the time, with all of us sharing it without separate accounts on it), updating her journal. Called to come to dinner, she had merely minimized the page.
After dinner, Lee got on the computer. He took a look at the minimized page. In that journal, she had written about pretending to spend the night at a friend’s house, but really be sleeping with R. She also mentioned smoking pot, & maybe something else that was shocking to us.
Lee alerted me, & I read it, too. I can’t tell you how shocked & distraught I was, but I’m sure you can imagine. It was only about four months later that she moved in with R. But she did eventually come to her senses, & as you know, is now a responsible adult, working on eventually becoming a nurse (& maybe one day, a midwife).
So, as horrible as it all seems right now, at least you know what you are dealing with. And things will get better eventually, even if they seem to get worse in between now & then.
My Darling is much sneakier than that. Her phone is password protected and she deletes texts as soon as she reads them or sends them. I think we can still access what was sent via text through the main account. I did tell her last night that her dad paid for the cell phone and therefore it also belonged to him.
I have no doubt she has been places she shouldn’t have been rather than where she told us she would be.
Get a “find friends” app for you & her phone. And when she goes to a friend to sleep over, tell her that you might call.
Chuck has us. We have him and all his kids on “find friends”.
I never raised a girl. But Chuck raised three. He had a policy, as long as the girls were living at home, that a guy who dated his daughter had to show up to get her. I suspect, from what they say, that Chuck met every guy who dated his daughters until they went off to college.
I don’t know if it was Chuck or the girl, but one guy was dropped because he wore his hat the wrong way.. (backward?)
I forgot how long ago it was, but there was a young girl living across the street from us in Annandale. A guy would drive up and blow his horn and she would come out.
In my day, if I had driven up and blown my horn, her dad would have come out to see what the commotion was.
Many of us still consider beeping the horn rather than coming to the door to be very rude, & should be unacceptable by the young women being beeped for. (R would do that, after we knew about him. I don’t think Emily would put up with that from any future suitor.)
Praying for you Kim…you know of the difficult decision we had to make concerning our own BG….today she is doing well…graduated college…married, two kiddos…good job…don’t give up…fight the good fight…stay on your knees…He is good and He loves her more than we could possibly fathom….love you friend ❤
Wandering Views 
I am continuing to ask for prayers for the Girl Child. I have already spent a lot of the day thinking about her and praying. I am not quite convinced her attitude has changed. It is mostly her attitude that her father and I are crazy and stupid and she is almost 18 and isn’t a child anymore and it is HER car and she can do as she pleases.
She will lie and move heaven and earth to be with this boy that we know nothing about except that her best friend can’t stand him and her cousin knows some things about him and doesn’t like him and that she has skipped a lot of school this past year to be with him. Any mention of him to her put her all out of sorts and she refuses to tell anything about him. We if he is so wonderful we need to meet him. We need to have him over for hamburgers. She doesn’t want him to meet us because we are crazy and she isn’t a child. I explained to her last night that her daddy and I can fake sanity with the best of ’em and she doesn’t have to worry about how we will act so it must be that she is ashamed of him. I also explained to her that he father gets up at 4 am several days a week and drive from Hattiesburg MS down through the coast, through Coastal Alabama and over into the Florida Panhandle to pay for the maintenance, upkeep, and insurance on that cute little car she drives and that gives him the right to tell her when it needs to be parked in the drive. I told her how her Papa wasn’t happy in the least little bit when I started dating her daddy, but I didn’t hide him. He came to the house and met my father and when my father told me to be home at 10 HER father had me home by 9:30. He told her he was scared to death when that 9 foot tall man answered the door. That showed respect. Any guy worthy of your time needs to respect you and your parents. We told her what we went through to have her and how much we loved her but part of that love was giving her boundaries and making sure she was safe.
I told her that when she was crawling out the windows at my house the therapist had told me to call the police and have them pick her up and that if she didn’t obey her father on the curfew he gave her either one of us was likely to pick up the phone and report her car stolen. In the end the three of us did a big family hug with us both assuring her that no matter what ever happened between her father and me that we both loved her. Except then her dad told her he probably loved Amos more because he had to bring some humor back into it.
He and I left her in her room and walked back through the living room. We found his mother- Nana in her room crying. I think that poked my heart the most. I truly think that is the first time I have ever seen the woman cry. I sat down and put my arm around her and she turned to hold me and cry more. I am having a hard time swallowing just telling you that. She said she had been in the living room praying and talking to her husband (deceased) when I walked in the back door.
The three of us discussed it some more and decided that we will buy a drug test and test BG, there will also be another one in the house for random testing.
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Prayers, Kim, tough times for all of you. But it sounds like you’re doing what you need to do.
And you’ll have to share with some of us the key in how to successfully fake sanity after things settle down a bit on the home front. 🙂
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Tough love and true talk. Praying for you, Kim.
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In my home, both growing up and raising my own children, freedom came with supporting ones self. You cannot be ‘independent ‘ and expect someone else to pay for it. I always told my girls that when they paid their own bills, they could make their own rules. Not too many can afford a house payment, vehicle and medical insurance, a car and be able to afford to run around when you are a teenager.
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Thank you. I was just thinking about how manipulative she can be, and then I got my second wind. She doesn’t have a clue who she is dealing with. I learned at the feet of the Queen of Manipulation. My mother. I can spot a con a mile away. I just was blinded by the fact that she is my precious baby girl I wanted so much.
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Answer on FB
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Kim – That was a good point that BG must be ashamed of him to not introduce him to you. A point on the flip side of that is that if he is the one who doesn’t want to meet you, then he must have something to hide. You can make that point without directly asking her if he’s the one reluctant to meet.
I know this is so very tough on your heart. Praying for you all.
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Did I ever tell you how we found out about Emily & R? It was Memorial Day weekend eight years ago, shortly after Emily turned 18. She had been on the computer (the only one we had at the time, with all of us sharing it without separate accounts on it), updating her journal. Called to come to dinner, she had merely minimized the page.
After dinner, Lee got on the computer. He took a look at the minimized page. In that journal, she had written about pretending to spend the night at a friend’s house, but really be sleeping with R. She also mentioned smoking pot, & maybe something else that was shocking to us.
Lee alerted me, & I read it, too. I can’t tell you how shocked & distraught I was, but I’m sure you can imagine. It was only about four months later that she moved in with R. But she did eventually come to her senses, & as you know, is now a responsible adult, working on eventually becoming a nurse (& maybe one day, a midwife).
So, as horrible as it all seems right now, at least you know what you are dealing with. And things will get better eventually, even if they seem to get worse in between now & then.
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So is Mike having surgery on his other knee this week?
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My Darling is much sneakier than that. Her phone is password protected and she deletes texts as soon as she reads them or sends them. I think we can still access what was sent via text through the main account. I did tell her last night that her dad paid for the cell phone and therefore it also belonged to him.
I have no doubt she has been places she shouldn’t have been rather than where she told us she would be.
LikeLike
Get a “find friends” app for you & her phone. And when she goes to a friend to sleep over, tell her that you might call.
Chuck has us. We have him and all his kids on “find friends”.
I never raised a girl. But Chuck raised three. He had a policy, as long as the girls were living at home, that a guy who dated his daughter had to show up to get her. I suspect, from what they say, that Chuck met every guy who dated his daughters until they went off to college.
I don’t know if it was Chuck or the girl, but one guy was dropped because he wore his hat the wrong way.. (backward?)
LikeLiked by 2 people
I forgot how long ago it was, but there was a young girl living across the street from us in Annandale. A guy would drive up and blow his horn and she would come out.
In my day, if I had driven up and blown my horn, her dad would have come out to see what the commotion was.
Most of you didn’t grow up in that world.
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Many of us still consider beeping the horn rather than coming to the door to be very rude, & should be unacceptable by the young women being beeped for. (R would do that, after we knew about him. I don’t think Emily would put up with that from any future suitor.)
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Heartbreaking.
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Praying for you Kim…you know of the difficult decision we had to make concerning our own BG….today she is doing well…graduated college…married, two kiddos…good job…don’t give up…fight the good fight…stay on your knees…He is good and He loves her more than we could possibly fathom….love you friend ❤
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Kim, I have tears reading about all you are going through. Prayers for you all ~¿~
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