Our Daily Thread 12-20-14

Good Morning!

5 Days!!!! 🙂

Today’s header photo is from Kare.

*It’s now Sunday the 21st, so I believe someone has a birthday today.

Happy Birthday Linda. 🙂

______________________________________________

On this day in 1790 the first successful cotton mill in the United States began operating at Pawtucket, RI.

In 1860 South Carolina became the first state to secede from the American Union. 

In 1879 Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent light at Menlo Park, NJ. 

And in 1968 author John Steinbeck died at the age of 66.

______________________________________________

Quote of the Day

Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.”

Dale Evans

______________________________________________

 This one is a request.

And this one is because I like it. From King’s College Choir

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0aL9rKJPr4&feature=player_detailpage ______________________________________________

Anyone have a QoD?

7,368 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 12-20-14

  1. The mom keeps saying that she is learning so much. I agree that she is learning, but she is so immature. When I was reading with someone else, she was poking me. And then coming up to the door, which is up a long stairway, before school to knock for no reason other than it is a game to her. She won’t answer a direct question except by pointing. I read with her, but she basically whispers the words, so hard to hear. Have to remind myself that God gave her to her parents, not to me.

    Like

  2. Funny, I read that as the mom was poking you and knocking on the door. My nine year old cannot talk to anybody as she is so shy. When we first got her she would not hesitate to go sit with anybody in church. Which is a bad sign of its own.

    Maturity, like everything else, comes at its own pace. Praying for wisdom and protection for the child as society pushes her on. May the people who can make a difference, see and step in.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mumsee – You said that your daughter sitting with anyone in church was a bad sign. I know I’ve heard that before, but I don’t understand why, or what it signifies. Could you enlighten me?

    Like

  4. We don’t generally trust them but the boy would not do work at home and I would prefer that they see for themselves that he is choosing to remain uneducated.

    Kizzie, lots of reasons for a child to be willing to approach others. Gregarious personality for one. But it can also be because they have no boundaries due to sexual abuse or attachment problems. That initial bonding with mom is critical and if it does not happen, the child may have a very difficult time making bonds. Or it could be they came from a church where they all greeted one another that way. But in this case, we are thinking the worst two options. She has just recently begun spontaneously hugging and kissing me and she is nine years old. Remember how two year olds are? With all their hugs? Not with this child except when we first got her and she was hugging everybody.

    Like

  5. Interesting, but very sad, Mumsee. I would have thought that children who were abused that way would avoid getting close to other people.

    Like

  6. Jo, I am feeling stunned. Although I suspected Clinton would probably win, I knew there was always a chance Trump might eke out a win. But I was still stunned to see state after state come in for him.

    Like

  7. Of course marijuana being approved in California is horrifying.
    But, I suppose, not unexpected.
    Not that I even knew it was on the ballot as I never saw the ballot.
    I will look into receiving mine by email next time.

    Like

  8. 11/11 is the international day of prayer for Wycliffe as an organization. It was the day that Cameron Townsend and Letgers were trying to enter Mexico and were denied entry at the border. As they took time to pray, God intervened and they were allowed into the country to begin translation.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. And I am stiff and sore this morning, with a big bruise on the side of the face where she hit me with her knee. But it is much better for my blood pressure to invest an hour or two rocking her while she screams at me than to let her go around the house yelling continually and threatening folk or going outside and yelling through the windows and throwing things at them.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. She has been very apologetic about the bruises. Husband picked up her meds and I was looking at the side effects. I told her I would rather have her as she is than have her endure the side effects. We discussed that if she can control herself and does that sort of thing, it is an assault charge and juvenile detention. If she can not control it, then she needs meds. Again, she says she can control it and I believe her. She is just scared and we need to find better ways of helping her deal with her fears.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. She is back to being her normal chipper self.

    How are things over there? Little boys acting like little boys? The little girl doing okay, all things considered? You and the administration seeing eye to eye? Getting exercise? Getting plenty of rain to fill your tanks? Mud holding things up? Enjoying the weekend?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Monday morning here and time to get ready for school. We have had rain and more rain. So thankful for a car instead of mud to walk in.
    The principal offered to have the class continue to end at noon after Christmas, if it would help with my stress level. I basically said that I am fine. But now I have been thinking. I mentioned class needs and she said no, we would only do it for you not for the class. But actually this class is very young and low and it would be very stressful for me to try and teach them all day til 2:45. I am still considering, but thinking of saying why don’t we stay with the short day for Term 3 and go to the longer day Term 4.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Jo, that sounds like a good idea. I really don’t think full-day kindergarten is a good idea . . . and that sounds like an excellent way to do it as they are almost ready for first grade.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. We are enjoying lovely rains with the temp just right for doing chores. It has been beautiful. I thought of that as son was beginning his four mile run to school. They are concerned about him walking in inclement weather, but I am not certain I know what that is. I still go outside to do chores. Husband and seventeen year old are out elk hunting. Should be okay for him to jog to school.

    Like

  15. It doesn’t get cold here so everyone is out in the rain. We whistle the kids under cover when it is a torrential rain, but otherwise we don’t worry about it.
    Mud sliding is very popular.

    Like

  16. I am not into mud sliding. I remember a foster boy we had once, along with his older sister. He was eight, she was eleven. They would not get dirty. A spot on their clothes drove them to distraction. I finally told him, you know, you can play down at the cattails and willows. What? Sure, it will be fun. He went down there and made a mud slide and had a blast. When he came up to the house, we hosed him off and he beamed from ear to ear. I don’t suppose his bio mom appreciated us but he had a great time and found out how to be a boy. He was all over the place after that, always wanting to pitch in and help wherever.

    Liked by 3 people

  17. That makes me smile, Mumsee. 🙂

    I love to see Little Guy being a boy. Some people have seemed to assume that because Nightingale is a single mom, that she wouldn’t know how to let him be a boy, but she is not the over-protective or “Don’t get dirty” type. She encourages his boyish activities. It was his dad who was the over-protective one. (And yet, he was not over-protective when it came to things he would say in front of him, or the things he watched on TV.)

    Like

  18. Yeah, Jo, there are boundaries & limits to where & when they can do those things. 🙂

    One of Little Guy’s favorite things to do with Hubby (his Papa) is to “wrestle”. Sometimes he “fights” with me, too. That little kid is strong!

    Like

  19. Absolutely. Time and a place. Wrestling is outside, unless dad is involved then, what can you say?

    My son and his wife decided to raise their boys as boys. Well, my son was raised to be a boy, but they are raising their sons to be monsters. They seem to have no limits. Most folks say things like: I met your grandsons. Wow. Lots of energy!

    It will be interesting to see what they are like when they are thirty. They do know that they are not to wrestle with my ten year old as he cannot stop once started. So they do also have some compassion which is good. But I have not seen them in several years so don’t really know how they are doing other than second hand.

    Like

  20. Spent the day sorting through the book order. So glad that the other gal brought her son with her. He was so helpful. It took us from 9 to 3 to get it done. That is a lot of books. It did feel like we were playing Santa. A lot of parents had written notes asking that the books not be given to the students as they were Christmas gifts. Not anywhere to shop here, so this was their store. I only got two origami books for myself. My aide was delighted with the two books that I got for her children on animals. I think she will be reading them for the next month before she gives them to her children.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. A beautiful day in the neighborhood. Nice coat of frost on everything. Cold is getting done, I like that. I can see today, and breathe. One of the grown daughters stopped by, with a gift of flowers, stuffed elephant, and chocolates and a nice note from the three, wishing me a quick recovery.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. The teens do the cooking with help. A southern gal is in charge now, so she inspired this meal. The deep fried chicken was overcooked, but the beans were wonderful, cole slaw was good, biscuit was great. Not something that I would normally eat with all that deep fried. But fun to have for a change.

    Like

  23. Probably not going to church again this week. Youngest has been hit with the cold and I woke up at midnight with a serious headache. Another restful day of rest. But I have been enjoying Psalm 139 this morning. And remembering how intent the doc was on showing us the amazing placenta after grandbaby was born. And it is amazing how He knits us together in our mother’s wombs.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I was going to lie in bed another twenty minutes this morning but just after I woke up, the power turned on. Must have been off. So I decided it was as good a time as any for getting up.

    Like

  25. shhh…. don’t tell anyone, but I did not make all of the corrections I was sorta told to in my newsletter. I left in the term haus meri, without an explanation and saying that Fay went finish. I realize that folks may not understand these terms, but they can ask. And it gives it sorta an exotic flavor of Png and missions. Don’t want to be too ordinary.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. It is amazing to me how quickly the moon is shrinking this month. Seems like just yesterday it was the closest supermoon and now it appears to be less than half.

    Like

  27. Jo, you’ve had it in the past. And I know sometimes on here people will thank you for the letter and then I get it two or three days later. So I thought maybe you had two different list.

    Like

  28. Happy Thanksgiving Eve! 🙂

    Nightingale is doing prep work today for tomorrow’s big dinner. I have most of my housecleaning completed, so I am pretty much resting today, except for helping clean up in the kitchen now & then.

    Like

  29. The decision has been made and Kinder will continue going only half days through Term 3. The parents have been informed. I got to read the email that went out and I was so pleased. No reason was given and parents with questions were told to contact the principal as it is an admin decision. It is a very wise decision for this class.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Thanks. I am so glad that this decision was made. I guess I will have to do a bit more in the afternoons to make up some hours, but I was already interested in tutoring.
    It will be a great help to this class. God is using the stress that I had in Term 4 to bless this class. He is good. He has a plan that we can occasionally catch glimpses of in hindsight.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Amen.

    Still watching eighteen year old go off the deep end. I thought she just climbed out and she is leaping back in again. Not easy being that age, apparently.

    Like

  32. I went bowling and took two children with me. First game they read their books. Second game they watched an episode of Drive Through History. And third game they ate French fries. Happy children. Happy momma.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. I get to talk with the principal and superintendent today. Though I don’t have a need to do so. About the boy in permanent detention. I don’t know how permanent it is to be and whatever they decide is fine with me.

    Like

  34. I am waiting to see when we can talk to the parents. Though the child was actually being a bit noisy today. She is certainly relaxing around me. Chases me around the playground when I am on duty. I just keep walking.

    Like

  35. Sounds like a shy child. It took me a long time to warm up to teachers, but in the early grades, they were like goddesses to me. I wanted to be near them but I could not talk to them. As I got older, I was afraid to be near them or talk to them. Each child is unique. If she is learning, she should be okay. But if she is too scared to learn or for some other reason, she might need a different tactic.

    Like

  36. She is a puzzle. She is learning, but her behavior is that of a three year old. Running around the classroom on all fours today. Not sure what animal she was. Then hiding from me behind and under my desk. Very puzzling.

    Like

  37. I was a very immature five year old. I would have been doing that. But I was not in kindergarten, went straight to first grade with a September birthday. I never fit in well but I managed to get through school, doing very well academically early on. It might have helped to stay back, it might not. We will continue to pray that God will direct for her best benefit. That she would come to know Him.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Question in case anyone on here knows more about the etiquette of serving alcohol and also in general being a new (step)mother-in-law. For some background: it was a little tricky when this couple was courting, since she still lived at home and they had most of their dates right in our house. So I was sort of the hostess and she was sort of the hostess. So I might invite him to stay for a meal, but she would be the one to offer any snacks or whatever. But basically he helped himself if he saw something to eat or drink. An unopened bottle of juice might be half drunk after he left, for example.

    I was raised to have to ask permission to eat anything, whether when I lived at home or when I went to visit Mom as a young adult. And when we go to visit his parents, Mom offers us something to eat or drink. If she hasn’t offered yet, we might ask for a glass of water, but I’d never consider going to her fridge and pouring myself some milk. I’m not saying it’s rude that some households allow that; just that I wasn’t raised with that, and that isn’t the culture of my in-laws, either.

    My husband and I weren’t raised in homes that served alcohol. Neither of us had it till we were well into adulthood (me in my mid-thirties, him fifty–when we were courting a friend of his offered us wine with dinner, and it was his first time to have any, though he didn’t think it was wrong before that). We now stock it, though we might have a month between having any and then it usually takes us a week or more to go through a bottle. The girls don’t have permission to drink it unless they are having a meal with us and we’re serving it. (Well, they can buy their own, but they can’t just take the bottle out of the fridge and open it. We offer; they accept or decline.) We drink a single glass each and then put it away. Well, when my son-in-law comes over, he pours himself more and then offers more to his (then) fiancee, and she usually accepts. Sometimes we take more, too. I wish at some point she would have privately told him, “We usually just have a glass,” but she’s young and she didn’t. My in-laws don’t serve wine, but it seems to me comparable to how with dinner (or for a snack, if we drop by in the afternoon), Mom will offer us a slice of pie and will ask what kind we want. But it’s understood that she can offer or not, and after we’ve had a slice that’s it. We don’t go to the kitchen and take a second slice, or try a different variety. She isn’t being rude or stingy, but she is the hostess and she’s offering us a slice of pie. (It is acceptable to say “Half a slice of each variety,” but not to ask for two slices, or take two.)

    Now . . . for various reasons (largely including various people being sick), the young couple has been over for a meal since their marriage, but not a fancy meal. We haven’t offered wine. But they’re coming over Friday (my husband doesn’t know) for my husband’s birthday, and since both my husband and the young man like beef, I’m making a roast. My husband tracked down a bottle of wine we had at someone’s house, good for serving with beef, but it cost twice what we usually pay for wine. If it were just his birthday, not company, and I was serving the beef I’d serve his special wine. I’d take a small portion myself (he likes that variety better than I do), but I’d leave most of it so that he can have more later. But if I put it on the table, it’s likely it will all get drunk this week. It’s partly because this is a more expensive bottle and we’re unlikely to get this particular vintage again, but it’s also because we’re setting the tone as hosts . . . is the best way to handle this simply serving it and then putting it away? Privately saying something to my son-in-law that this is a more expensive bottle (that seems “cheap”)? This is likely to be an issue with grandchildren, too, whether it’s acceptable for them to go to the fridge and get themselves something to drink (it won’t be) or go to the TV and turn it on (it won’t be). If they hadn’t done their dating here, or if she hadn’t lived here when they dated, we could have largely set the tone already, because I’d be in the habit of offering both of them something to drink when they come in, rather than her mostly being the hostess and him just helping himself.

    There is, of course, more than one reason I don’t want alcohol to be on a “help yourself” basis, but I don’t really know what is “standard” in such things. Anyone know?

    Like

  39. Sounds like you need to decide on your boundaries and then publicly set them. It is awkward because he is already assuming some things. I remember feeling like I needed to tell my husband that things he was doing at my parents home weren’t okay.

    Like

  40. Thing is, my son-in-law is the only one who doesn’t know that we have one glass of wine with a meal. And my husband is a very generous man, and to him it may not matter. But wine isn’t cheap and really we can’t afford to grow through lots of it. But I can foresee a day when we have adult grandchildren partaking too (in Indiana you have to be 21 to drink, even at your parents’ house, so that will be many days down the road), and I don’t want to be offering multiple bottles, or keeping track of who has drunk what and whether it’s too much for them, or whatever. And again, if my mother-in-law can offer pie and it’s understood she’s offering one slice, it seems fair enough that with something as expensive and potentially destructive as alcohol, in this household we offer one drink, our usual amount–but I have no idea how other households handle it.

    Like

  41. I unfriended the world on Facebook by never going there again. Life is much more pleasant.

    Cheryl, what Jo said. You and husband talk and decide where the lines are and talk with daughters and put it away if you need to.

    We are currently dealing with eighteen year old wanting to bring her puppy into my house. No. Then I won’t come for Christmas. Okay. You are welcome, your puppy is welcome outside if you control it. She is angry. She is usually angry with me. It saddens me but I can live with it and realize we may or may not ever have a good adult relationship. It seems like I could just say, sure, let the puppy in but watch it. But I know this child and that would open the floodgates.

    It is possible your son in law comes from a mindset like my husband where it is all free for the taking. I am from your background where I would not dream of getting things from my parent’s fridge unless specifically asked. Or turn on the tv. Or whatever. Their home, not mine. He does not know he is stepping on toes unless you tell him. If your husband agrees with you, perhaps he could talk with him. If he doesn’t, perhaps you should decide whether or not you want to put out that bottle. And if husband asks for it, get it out.

    It is difficult developing relationships with new folks from different mindsets.

    Like

  42. I am remembering when we invited son and daughter in law to visit us in Greece and she insisted on various things and I was appalled. Like drinking alcohol in my house when I did not agree with it and over indulging. It set us back but we have agreed to disagree and as her children get older, she is finding more in common with me.

    Like

  43. Cheryl – That is a sticky situation.

    My thought, & this is kind of avoiding the whole problem temporarily, would be to save that bottle of wine for a special dinner with just you & your husband. But if your husband insists that you bring that bottle out for the dinner with daughter & SIL, let yourself rest in his spirit of generosity, & not worry about the price.

    As for the long-term problem, you can decide to not let it bother you, & accept that SIL will help himself to things at your house. If that idea bothers you enough, someone does need to have a gentle talk with him. I think that would come better from your husband.

    Like

  44. Pets in houses, yeah. I have allergies and so does my good friend. In fact she is almost to the point that she cannot visit anyone. She has to have everyone to her home because they all have pets inside. Or maybe just in the laundry room, but it turns out yes they were in the house once. It bothers me that we have a family training guide dogs who bring their dog into every room of our church. Because I know that is creating problems for my friend.

    Like

  45. A lot of people seem to think: my pet is the exception. It is cuter, cleaner, better trained, whatever. Not thinking that unless it is totally shaved and in a plastic sleeve, allergens are in the air and some people have fears of animals or simply don’t care to be around them.

    Like

  46. Sunny for now so am getting sheets washed and dried. No dryers here so hard to get everything washed and dried. I hang clothes inside, but not the big things. Which means they wait for a sunny Saturday. and it is all only cold water. That is okay except for when you are trying to kill off critters. 🙂

    Like

  47. I decided to deal with the wine issue by putting out two bottles, thinking the other women might think (like me) that the red wine was a bit too strong, even if it is what you’re supposed to serve with beef. (We aren’t all that accustomed to drinking.) I knew my husband would want to share it with our son-in-law, I just wanted him to have some left to enjoy later. I drank the softer wine, and about a third of the red bottle was left to put away.

    It’s a balancing act because I do want him to feel “at home,” but to the extent of knowing this isn’t his house. That he’s family but this isn’t his house. I figure that over time as I make a point of offering something, it will be clear that it’s something offered, not something “taken.” Especially since we’re looking at moving to a new house in a few months, and it will be a house our daughter never lived in, I think that might naturally take care of the problem. To be honest, I’m less concerned with the adults doing stuff like going to the fridge to get some juice (although I do want them to ask–especially if the bottle hasn’t been opened yet, because that just might be because I’m taking it somewhere or saving it for a special occasion), more concerned that if the precedent is set now, their children might follow it too. But since I will be around when the kids are growing up, I can guide that conversation. “No, honey, you can’t turn on the TV. No, sweetie, you don’t open the fridge. You ask Grandma if you need something.”

    When my husband and I first married, we’d buy ice cream treats and put them in the outside freezer, and throughout the summer I’d bring in treats periodically and put them in the kitchen freezer. One of the things we’d buy was Magnum bars, which are fairly expensive and come in a package of three. So when one girl or the other was home, I’d bring in a package and offer them. Or I’d bring in a carton of ice cream and a package of Drumsticks, and those had been put into circulation and were OK to be eaten. Then the girls started going out to the outside freezer and getting their own treats, and I complained to my husband. I didn’t think they should be “helping themselves” to what had not yet been brought inside to be used. Let it be something we offer, or don’t. They were buying their own snacks by that time, and at $1.00 a bar, I really wanted the Magnum bars to be a rare treat and not something readily accessible–we’d bought three or four boxes on sale, and I thought that should be a summer’s worth. But my husband was OK with them raiding the freezer in that way. I figured if they were my daughters (not me joining the family with them already late teens), that would have been the “boundary” I would have set, that if it’s inside it’s free to be used, but the outside freezer is for storage and I’m the one who accesses it. I’ll keep ice cream inside all summer long, but if it isn’t inside, it isn’t available. But he didn’t want to set that standard, so we didn’t. But what is funny is that this summer I started keeping the more expensive bars hidden, and I told him I was doing so, and he was OK with that. To me, it made more sense to say directly “Don’t get into them unless they have been brought inside” than to hide them and hope they don’t find them. But since he’s OK with the hiding and it accomplishes the same purpose, that is what I’ve done.

    Liked by 1 person

  48. And it occurred to me that one way that will play out is that when we visit them at their apartment (which we have not yet done), we won’t be helping ourselves to things in their fridge. If they don’t offer, we might say, “Hey, could I get a glass of water?” but we won’t go looking for something to drink. If they say, “Here are the glasses; help yourself,” then I’d be inclined to get my own water. But I suspect they’ll feel a bit of a sense of we’re company and we don’t actually live there, and don’t have free access to things there, and that it applies the other direction too. We’ll see. At least he seems mostly to feel like we’re family, and that’s a good thing, I think.

    Liked by 1 person

  49. Our pantry is off limits to all but one child. He has proven himself to be fairly honest so we don’t concern ourselves with that. He never goes in without being specifically requested to do so or if he is home alone for a few days and needs some food.

    We did try a period of letting people get into the fridge, but, other than milk, they are not be getting things out. However, when they come home, they have lost that boundary.

    Like

  50. Mumsee, re the pets-in-the-house exception: from the other side of this, I have great sympathy for the single person to whom the pet is important. A couple of stories, first from my mother. My oldest brother is quite anti-dog. Most of my family loves dogs, and we all grew up with dogs, but somehow my oldest brother and my only sister despise dogs. Anyway, my mother was going to visit my brother for Christmas, and she brought her chihuahua on the plane, and for reasons I don’t understand, she was going to be boarding it in my brother’s city and not in her own. But her second plane was several hours late, and by the time she arrived in my brother’s city, the boarding place was closed.

    Now, my brother is so anti-dog that when he would come visit me in Nashville, I would put Misten outside an hour or two before his visit and vacuum carefully and leave her outside while he was visiting. He isn’t allergic, just doesn’t like dogs. So his children would go outside to see Misten. For most people visiting, I’d just make Misten lie down for 10 minutes or so until she showed that she was ready to be calm, and then she would get up and go to the person and they’d pet her and then she’d just lie near us and pretty much ignore us (leave us alone). It took more time when she was younger, and sometimes she was banished to the backyard if she wasn’t willing to lie down and be quiet, but mostly I figured it was her house, too, and she could be inside as long as she was calm. Nearly all my friends loved her, so that worked. My sister never visited me when I owned her (nothing to do with my owning a dog, she just didn’t come to visit me) except once when she was a puppy; when she came for my wedding, a friend was keeping Misten. But I never even tried to introduce Misten to my oldest brother; she just stayed outside for a few hours, which she often did anyway.

    Well, when Mom was at my brother’s house for Christmas that one year, I found Mom sitting on the bed in her guest room, obviously unhappy, and I went to ask her what was wrong. She was fighting back tears (very unusual for my mom) and near panic, and she told me that my brother insisted that her chihuahua had to stay outside, and he had put the crate on the front steps. Someone had recently offered her $1,000 for the dog, which she had refused, and she was desperately afraid she’d get stolen. She also was completely an inside dog (Mom used puppy training pads for her “litter box”) and Mom thought she would be lonely and cold out there. Well, Mom was a guest room in the basement, which had a concrete hallway, and my brother and sister-in-law’s room is upstairs, and so to me there was no good reason the dog had to be outside. I went upstairs and advocated for our mother. Basically: Mom is past 70 and alone, and this dog is her companion; she made arrangements for the dog to be boarded and this is just one night; it’s not Mom’s fault she didn’t make it to town in time to put the dog in the kennel, and she already has suffered by spending several extra hours in an airport; the dog sleeps in her kennel on a concrete floor and a different level of the home than you do, and thus will not bother you. Further, Mom is afraid she will be stolen and is unlikely to sleep, and out of respect for your mother, you need to protect her dog. He huffed and he fumed, and he told me that if he brought her inside, his house would smell like dog for months, but ultimately he conceded and brought her in. I didn’t think he could decently do otherwise. This wasn’t a Newfoundland, but a five-pound chihuahua in a crate.

    Like

  51. OK, now my story. When I moved to Nashville, one of the reasons I chose that city was that it was easy driving distance (2 1/2 hours of less) from my two favorite siblings, and I figured we could easily visit one another. As it turns out, in my eight years there, my sister came to visit only within the first year (twice, I think) and also for my wedding shower and then my wedding. Nearly all the visits were me driving to Alabama, generally about three times a year (including Christmas). She did plan to come over a few additional times, but never actually did.

    I was working freelance, very low income, couldn’t realistically afford a dog but couldn’t have existed in that time without one. (I thought I’d have housemates, but most of the time I couldn’t manage to rent out the second bedroom, so most of the time I was living alone and working from my home–having another living being in the house, even a dog, is what allowed me to keep doing freelance.) I couldn’t have afforded to go visit my sister and put Misten in a kennel, and she wouldn’t have done well in a kennel, anyway, so we agreed I’d take Misten with me and she could stay in my sister’s backyard. It wasn’t ideal, but it isn’t fair to expect a dog-despising sister to put up with one’s 50-pound furry dog inside, so I understood that.

    Problem is, Misten was used to sleeping inside. She’d be outside for hours during the day, but at night she was always inside. (If nothing else, it wouldn’t have been fair to the neighbors to leave her outside. I lived in the city, and she had a big-dog bark.) Well, one night it turned out to rain all night, about 35-40 degrees, and their yard got muddy with big puddles and Misten got filthy. She wasn’t even fully grown yet, and I worried that she might end up getting sick–not that a dog can’t handle that if they’re used to it, but that she wasn’t used to it. So I lay that night on my sister’s couch, on one side of me hearing my sister and her husband talking in their bedroom, on the other side hearing my nephews talking in their bedroom, and on a third side hearing my wet dog barking one single bark every half hour all night long, just a quiet reminder “Hey, I’m still outside! You forgot to take the dog inside for the night, and it’s cold and wet out here!” Misten was never a pushy or demanding dog, and she didn’t start barking loudly, just one quiet “woof” every half hour for the entire night. It was one of the loneliest nights of my life, and I didn’t sleep at all. I wasn’t married like my little sister, didn’t have a husband to talk with softly. I didn’t have children. The boys had siblings to chatter with, but my own siblings were mostly off and married by then. My only companion was a dog, and I was even separated from her for the night, and letting her down by leaving her outside in that miserable weather. (My brother-in-law had eventually put a board up across some playground equipment, figuring that would give Misten a dry place to lie underneath, but it had already rained a lot by that time, and Misten didn’t figure it out anyway.)

    After one or two visits, I figured out that I could only go for visits that were two nights and three days. Any longer than that, and it was too much. Nights were simply too lonely, with companionship happening on both sides of me but not so much as a dog to keep me company, and my own dog sometimes doing that bark-every-half-hour woof.

    Later my sister bought a house that had a separate guest house, and she and her husband decided they could sacrifice and allow me to have Misten with me in the guest house at night. They made a big deal about what a big sacrifice it was, but they are the ones who told me I could have her in there at night; I didn’t ask. (And I didn’t tell them how big a “sacrifice” it was for me to drive two-and-a-half hours each way to sleep in a strange bed, buying gifts for each member of their family for Christmas, calling each child on his or her birthday, being “on call” each time she was ready to give birth to a child . . . because it’s what families do.) Once they had the guest house, nights felt less lonely. I was no longer hearing snippets of conversation that left me outside, and I could go over and sit and read a book, pet Misten, go to bed when I wanted, not be sharing a bathroom with little boys . . . all in all, it was a much better setting for me than sleeping on their couch. But it bugged me how often my sister told me they were making “such” a sacrifice by going against their principles and allowing me to have my well-behaved, perfectly housebroken collie in their guest house so that I could go visit them a few times a year and stay in their children’s lives.

    I wouldn’t allow a guest to bring her cat, and I do understand about the puppy that won’t be controlled by her mistress. But I’ve also been on the other side of it, and the brother who did allow me to bring Misten with me, and let her sleep in my bedroom at night, felt far more welcoming to me. (Allowing Misten inside was just part of it, but it was part of it. I felt like I was being a good sister and good aunt by going to visit my sister, but that I was going to visit my brother because I wanted to and they wanted me to.)

    Liked by 1 person

  52. Mumsee, next time I see my haus meri, I am going to inform her that I don’t want her to open the refrigerator. I leave her food out for her and there is no reason for her to open it. She was using eggs and butter, not cheap, and so now I lock those in a locking cupboard. Now I can see that she is using milk. I leave tea out and powdered milk and sugar, as well as her beef biscuits, ramen, and some fruit. She only works for 3 hours.
    So I am going to try the off limits thing.
    I am sure that it will be an interesting conversation.

    Like

  53. Cheryl, in an amusing turn of events, eldest son called last night to wish husband a happy birthday, not knowing husband was off driving. We chatted and he mentioned he and the beloved planned a trip this way about Christmas. The big gift to me is that they will be visiting my dad, grandpa. The grandpas don’t seem to be on the main flight plans for the children and are somewhat neglected. That will be wonderful for both son and grandpa. Anyway, they are stopping here afterward for a few hours and will be bringing their dog……

    There are always exceptions to rules. In this case, it is a well behaved dog they have had for years and they understand that I don’t want a dog underfoot so they will control it. I said they and their dog are welcome.

    On the other hand, you remember sister in law who got her first dog from us as it would not stay contained and would not stop killing chickens. She is now on her third dog. A lab mixed with greyhound or whippet. We used to welcome her and her dogs but her dogs were so much the center of her universe and so spoiled that we were constantly listening to it whine or tripping over it. We finally said enough. She has not visited us since though she would be welcome and she leaves the dog at home with a sitter for other opportunities. We visit her often in her home and don’t let the dog boss us around. It works.

    Kind of annoying when husband had his two knee surgeries, one first and then the other a while later. Both times we stayed with her for about ten days. The dog would jump on the couch next to husband and put its rear in his face and then leap over his knee. It terrified husband for the healing of his knees. And when he would go out with me for his hourly walks, she might come along with the dog. Rather than keep it on a short leash and controlled, she let it wander on the twelve feet leash. Which meant wrapping itself around husband and his walker. We love her dearly but the dog is not all that wonderful. We like it but not in our faces.

    So, there are people who don’t like dogs all the way to people who put their dogs above everything (sister in law is not there). We just put a ban on all dogs with the idea that it is our home and if we want to make and exception we can.

    Liked by 1 person

  54. Jo, that is frustrating. We had a house cleaner in Okinawa but I felt so guilty for it that all I had her do was iron and cook us lunch once every other week. She was lovely. A little tiny round Okinawan with a beautiful smile and very helpful. I am sure she thought I was a crazy American.

    Like

  55. Mumsee, that makes total sense. When I had a housemate who could stay with Misten, I left her at home. But I made the mistake of waiting till she was a couple of years old to get a doghouse, and by that time she couldn’t be bribed to enter it even with raw hamburger or cheese–I couldn’t quite imagine how it would be possible to leave her in a kennel, and I never tried. (And collies are very much people dogs, and she truly would have been miserable. Nor, as I said, did I have the finances to cover such a cost.) My sister just decided my love for Misten was a moral flaw, and never empathized enough to realize that she provided genuine companionship to someone who was alone more than she wanted to be. Misten was never the center of my life, never spoiled, and I worked hard to have her be fairly obedient (she was never perfect, but she was pretty good), and I definitely worked to keep her from causing any destruction. I understood my sister not liking dogs; she never understood my liking them, or why Misten was important to me.

    Like

  56. I am also working on a Christmas gift for my haus meri. It is expected. Some folks here go overboard on the gifts and then they think badly of the rest of us. She has been taking a literacy class and just graduated and got a tok pisin Bible, which is the trade language. So I checked at the store today and I am going to get her a tok pisin hymnal. I will also give her a bit of cash as I am leaving and she will miss at least one day of work.

    Several years ago I left a small gift for a haus meri and came home to a nasty note that she was not happy with my gift. My feeling is: then give it back, it is a gift.

    Like

  57. I remember those days. The roach in the speedometer of the car in Okinawa. And the scorpion in the shower in Georgia. And the roach running into the TV in Maryland. Now I mostly just watch for mice but have not seen any in months. When they read this, they will appear.

    Liked by 1 person

  58. Mumsee, I’ve always kept Kleenex in my car, never knowing when I might need one. (Nothing quite so annoying as having a runny nose for the last 15 minutes of the drive to church, but no tissue.) My husband consented to putting a box in the car before vacation, and then I left it in, forgetting why we took it out last year . . . until I got in the car one day and the top tissue or two was shredded, with more shredded tissue on the floor. Of course, one year my husband had me leave a package of peanut butter crackers in the door of the car, and a week or so later it looked odd, and I picked it up and crumbs fell out, and then I saw that the bottom cracker sandwich had been chewed from the outside all the way around, up to the peanut butter. I had no idea till then that mice could get into a car (I’ve never in my life had a garage, but we have one here). Apparently they just LOVE getting hold of Kleenex to make a nice soft nest for their little ones.

    Oh, and I remember the day, when my sister and I were little enough we were still bathing together (but big enough that our little brother was no longer bathing with us), and my mom turned on the water and out came a huge roach. My sister would not put her head under the faucet for the longest time after that! I was a bit older and accepted Mom’s explanation that it just went in there for a drink, and that once the water was already running no more roaches could come out, but my sister basically saw the faucet as a random roach factory. That may, however, be the day that cemented the cockroach forever as my least favorite animal (yes, below the rattlesnake and the mosquito). It’s pretty much the only animal I can kill. (Tiny ants and tiny spiders, too. But big ol’ roaches, I’ll find a way to spray it or sweep it into a dustpan, hold it there with the whisk broom, and flush it down the toilet.)

    Like

  59. Wow, Cheryl, such anger. Just wow. You do know, of course, that roaches don’t drown just like spiders. They just crawl out when least expected…..

    Like

  60. Mumsee, I think if the toilet/urinal, etc. is full of water they pretty much can’t come up through it. Yes, I know it sends them into the sewer, which is pretty much a singles bar for roaches, but if it gets them out of the house/dorm, it works. The problem we had in college the summer I was cleaning dorms, and one bathroom kept getting roaches, is that one of the urinals had no water in it. Once we flushed it, the roaches lost their entry point into the bathroom.

    Like

  61. The most sleeplessness inducing thing to me is scampering. I know they are just going about their business, but if I hear them, the light will be on. I want to see them and know where they are. Better yet, I like to get rid of them.

    But the cats must be accomplishing something. We have not had any in the house in months and I have not even heard them in the ceiling or walls.

    Like

  62. Though the only carcasses left on the door mat now, are babies. There must be moms. I am beginning to think the cats have some sort of arrangement with the mommas. “You provide me with litters of babies, I will leave one or two and take the rest so my people think I am working,” sort of thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  63. Such a relief to be done with report cards. It will be interesting to see if anyone changes any of my comments. After the computer lost one, I copied and saved the rest of them into a word document. So I actually can compare and find out if anything has been changed. I also kept all of the assessments in a file, so if anyone has questions I can show them the data.
    This is a very unusual class.

    Like

  64. But I hope somebody will check it. Smells can get rather noxious.

    Fifteen year old son’s class is rather notorious as the most challenging class in recorded history. There are only about ten of them, but most have as much or more problems focusing in class as son has. They are rude and obnoxious and disrespectful and other. I would not care to be a teacher.

    Like

  65. I’ve even let it wait a bit, but no one showed up, so I had to do it. You think it’s fun? It’s a big responsibility. And who knows what may be lurking behind each door?!

    So. . .you’re welcome.

    Like

  66. Tell you what, though–if I’m the one to open that next door, I am NOT hauling any Christmas tree and boxes of ornaments up all those stairs!

    Like

  67. What is all of this talk about opening a new room? I thought we were here to uplift and encourage one another, and I learn it is all just a game to you people????? What ?????

    Liked by 1 person

  68. I think 3800 is a fairly substantial goal for eight days away–not sure another 200 posts would be possible unless people just user “filler” posts.

    Like

  69. Anyone want my family’s sugar cookie recipe? They’re unusual–I have no idea where Mom got the recipe or the idea, as I’ve never seen another sugar cookie recipe that does things the same way. Basically, you put the icing on the cookie before it goes into the oven, so it ends up with almost a stained-glass effect (though it can be a little messy if any of it runs off onto the pan–there are ways around that, though).

    Like

  70. I was trying to see if anyone wants to get going with a “themed” conversation rather than just “Here’s another post to get us there!” 😉

    Like

  71. Cheryl – I’m not sure, but my mom made a German Christmas cookie with the icing going on before baking. Yet even as I type this, I’m thinking that’s not right. I honestly don’t remember when the icing went on, but it was on the thinner side, & what you wrote reminded me of it.

    My favorite cookie recipe is for sugar cookies made with vegetable oil. They also have a good amount of cinnamon, which gives them a different flavor from the normal sugar cookie, & I add almond extract to them. They are delicious, but don’t have the same texture or flavor of regular sugar cookies. And they’re a drop cookie, not a roll-out cookie.

    Like

  72. I don’t bake cookies. Mostly because I don’t shop and with husband out of town, We are down to the last of the eggs, using powdered milk, and using the remaining eggs for such things as breads and pancakes as we are out of bread as well. Not that there is not plenty of food, just not the easy fixing variety. We are also out of fruits and veggies but have plenty of dried and canned. But cookies? Those are definitely an extra that neither I nor the children need.

    However, I would be interested in seeing the recipe in case husband happens to get home and do some shopping. In which case cookies would become a necessity. Not that he eats them, just because.

    Liked by 1 person

  73. Stained-Glass Sugar cookies

    single recipe (triple recipe)

    Cream together:
    2/3 cup shortening (2 cups)
    2/3 cup sugar (2 cups)

    Beat together and add to sugar and shortening:
    2 eggs (6 eggs)
    1 tsp. vanilla (1 T)

    Sift together:
    2 cups flour (6 cups)
    1 tsp. baking powder (1 T)
    1/2 tsp. salt (1 1/2 tsp.)

    Mix all ingredients. Roll, cut, sugar. (Sugar is sugar and liquid—water, juice, or milk—in approx. 3:1 ratio, plus food coloring. This is the tricky part, getting the sugar stiff enough not to run, but not so thick it won’t spread. Usually I keep adding sugar a little bit at a time, and once it is at the proper consistency, I spoon it into separate small bowls to color.)

    Bake at 400 for 10 minutes. (Makes 3 dozen.)

    The sugar tends to run onto the pan no matter what you do to stop it. I have found that the easiest clean-up is to use Airbake cookie sheets OR to line the sheet with parchment paper. Otherwise clean-up is the worst part of these cookies. We generally made a triple recipe–and believe me, it takes a long time to make that many cookies–so we included the tripling numbers on the recipe card. Note that it uses baking powder, not baking soda.

    Like

  74. Last week I decided to try the sugar cookies with coconut oil instead of Crisco. This is the only thing for which I use Crisco, and it tends to get old if not used quickly, and I’m convinced it isn’t very healthy. I’ve made several cakes with coconut oil recently and have been really impressed at the moistness.

    Anyway, I looked up using coconut oil in cookies, and found two different opinions on how to use it. One said substitute it straight (one cup of coconut oil for one cup vegetable shortening). I currently have two varieties of coconut oil, one that has a bit of a coconut taste and one that doesn’t. So I mixed them about half and half and used it that way. The result was a mild coconut flavor that worked, in my opinion, and my husband ate several of them and he isn’t a big coconut fan. The texture wasn’t quite as good as with the Crisco, but no one would know that unless they were used to the original–and it was quite a subtle difference.

    The other “substitution” recommendation I saw was to use half butter, half coconut oil, but to use slightly less of the coconut oil. I think it was if you are supposed to have two cups, then use on cup butter and 3/4 cup coconut oil. I intended to try this variation this past weekend (I’d signed up to take cookies to church), but a “crunch” editing project came in, and I made an easier variety of cookies for more cookies for church, instead. (And then with the snow and my husband not feeling well, we didn’t end up going to church.)

    Like

  75. I simply made it because I had bought too many avocados and they were all getting ripe at the same time. And I needed, or felt that I needed, to bring something for our class Christmas party.

    Like

  76. Mine was very bland as I am with Chas and leave out the onions. A friend that I shared it with asked if I had ever used onion powder. Not sure how that would work when you are sensitive to onion.

    Like

  77. So I simply mashed up the 4 or 5 ripe avocados that I had, and was happy to see that they looked great on the inside as the outside was looking very bad. Added a chopped tomato, a tablespoon of lemon juice and salt and pepper. Then looked around for crackers to serve with it.

    Like

  78. Kizzie, my whole (birth) family loved our sugar cookie recipe. But my first Christmas as a bride, I made a batch, and as far as I know not one person even tried them, other than me. I love them, and so I willingly ate them myself, but I was sad that no one even tried them to see if they liked them (as far as I know). So now I just occasionally make them for church and then I can eat some myself. I have had others ask me for the recipe, but my (married) family wasn’t familiar with them. My mother-in-law makes about two dozen varieties each Christmas, and I don’t like very many of them, and I have found that if we bring home a tray, most don’t get eaten, so it may be that my family is used to cookies being more for looks than for taste and they didn’t realize that these actually are as tasty as they look.

    Like

  79. Okay, thanks, Cheryl. I don’t use shortening so it will probably be butter or coconut oil.

    Jo, do people peel avocados or eat them with the peel? I remember growing an avocado in a jar once as a child but don’t remember eating it.

    Kizzie, so where is the cookie recipe? Or are you shipping them to me to try?

    Like

  80. Cheryl – My mom made several different Christmas cookies each year, & their flavors were distinctive. My Aunt Gert, Mom’s older sister, made a large selection of cookies herself each year, & made it clear somehow that she wanted to be known as the one who made the most special cookies. But although hers were pretty, they all tasted basically the same.

    So we would oo & ah over Aunt Gert’s cookies, but privately make sure that Mom knew we liked hers better. 🙂

    I miss some of those cookies Mom made, but I don’t have the patience for making all those time-consuming cookies. Eventually, Mom stopped making them.

    Like

  81. Add, & mix well:

    4 eggs
    1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
    1 capful or 1 tsp. almond extract
    …(you may only want to add 1/2 tsp. if you are not too fond of the almond flavoring)

    Like

  82. In separate bowl mix:

    5 cups flour
    …(Note: I would sometimes use 3 1/2 cups flour & 1 1/2 cup oatmeal)
    3 tsp. baking powder (not soda)
    3/4 tsp. salt
    3 tsp. or more cinnamon

    Like

  83. Drop by teaspoons or cookie scoop (I love ours) onto greased cookie sheets or parchment paper (makes clean up easier) about 2 inches apart. Flatten cookies with fingers (that’s what I usually do), or with the oiled bottom of a glass, or with a wet spatula. I don’t flatten mine too thinly.

    Like

  84. The actual recipe calls for rolling the cookie dough drops into balls & then roll them in granulated sugar. I don’t do that, but I have sometimes sprinkled them with red & green sugar.

    Like

  85. Thinking about how I sometimes use some oatmeal with the flour, I thought that next time I make them, I should use some of the whole wheat flour Nightingale has in our pantry closet. (It’s not an actual pantry, but is a small closet with shelves. I call it our pantry closet.)

    Like

  86. And thinking about the whole wheat flour reminded me of something Nightingale told me a few years ago. One time, when she was still with Mr X, he got mad about her trying to substitute healthier foods, like whole wheat flour, for the things he preferred.

    He took a whole bag of whole wheat flour & angrily shook it out over the toilet, but a whole lot of it went on the floor & other surfaces. (I used “whole” three times in that sentence. 🙂 ) Poor Nightingale was the one who had to clean it up.

    Like

  87. Regarding mice in cars – we had travelled about 2 1/2 hours to Saskatoon one summer day and only needed to turn on the air conditioning when we reached the city. There was a strange smell, a bad noise in the fan and no air coming out on my side. We pulled into the Home Depot parking lot and husband started taking apart the fan system under the dash. All of a sudden he backed out the door very quickly – several baby mice had fallen out – yuck! He gathered up all the babies and the badly injured adult mouse and disposed of them while I went into the store to purchase bleach spray and paper towels.

    Needless to say, we went and got ourselves some outside cats. No more mice in the vehicles. I do find dead ones lying around the yard all the time though. Kind of gross, but shows me the cat is doing his job.

    Like

  88. Kare, white (granulated) sugar is what we used. We always mixed it with milk growing up, but when I developed problems with milk, I tried soy and almond milk and it worked. And then my sister tried water, and she tried juice, and all options worked. I suspect the milk or juice might thicken it up better than the water, but I’m not really sure. It takes a lot more sugar than liquid, whatever you do with it.

    Like

  89. Just went out and trimmed part of the hedge. The gardening ladies are here and they say it is not their job, so won’t do it. I am hoping they will pick up the pieces of what I cut. Now my arms are itchy.

    Like

  90. We are supposed to keep our hedges trimmed so there will not be places for rascals to hide. So it is actually a safety issue.
    Time to get on a chair and bring down the suitcases. I may have to move some things first.

    Like

  91. I just put a stuffed little dog in my suitcase to help entertain some children on the way. Two little ones are also flying to Cairns to meet up with mum and dad. Mum was medevac’d several weeks ago and others have been watching the children. Never know when a toy will come in handy to entertain some children.

    Liked by 1 person

  92. Of course the 20th will come sooner over here! 🙂
    But I suppose we are on blog time not PNG time. I think about other time zones so much that I get confused. What day is this.
    I think I will head down to school to give my last four eggs to my aide. She is always appreciative as eggs are something they can’t afford.

    Liked by 2 people

  93. Jo – This morning I was thinking about things we take for granted here, that others can only wish for. Now I know that eggs are not to be taken for granted.

    Like

  94. Now that I think about it, that was last night I was thinking those things.

    I was crying over re-injuring my back/hip, & how bad it hurt, when I turned my thoughts away from feeling sorry for my own pain. I thought of – & prayed for – the people of Aleppo, & all those in refugee camps or in other war zones. That got me to thinking of other ways in which I am so “rich”, not according to American standards, but compared to so many others.

    Like

  95. BTW, I don’t cry easily about pain (although I cry easily about emotional things). But my back/hip was finally feeling like it was on the mend (I had already re-injured it once), & I had been feeling so relieved.

    Then I did something that I didn’t know would aggravate the problem, & zing! Very painful, even worse than the first time. I could barely walk back to my bedroom to go to bed. So it was a combination of frustration & pain that made me cry.

    Like

  96. After a rough start this morning, it doesn’t feel as bad as I expected it to. But I can tell I will be having some pain/discomfort for a while as it heals, & will have to be extra-careful about what I do. There are a few different movements, seemingly unrelated, that I need to avoid.

    Like

  97. Back problems are so all encompassing. Seems if your back hurts, you are kind of stuck. But, like you said, in the big picture….
    But isn’t it wonderful that God cares about our little pictures too?

    Happy travels, Jo. Enjoy the break!

    Liked by 1 person

  98. Thanks. Kizzie, I am finding that I need to be careful too. I am walking more, but some nights I wake up in pain. So I have learned when to take the advil. I took some last night as I had done too much. I went out and tried to trim the whole hedge cuz the gardening ladies were there and would take things away. Anyway, I am learning to treat inflamed joints or muscles before they become a larger problem.

    Like

  99. I commented on someone’s facebook post and turns out that she is staying here too. So we got together and went out to eat. I wouldn’t have done it alone. It was fun to be downtown at night. There was a tree all lit up on the waterfront. My sense of direction served me well for finding the Night Market and then getting me back to the car.
    Mumsee, I am at Treetops Lodge in Cairns. It is jointly run by Wycliffe and MAF. Seems there are a bunch of us here from Ukarumpa right now. Found a teacher today who came down to have knee replacement surgery. I will be able to serve her by giving her rides to where she can walk.

    Liked by 2 people

  100. But, I was really excited to find Hairy Maclary books. I found the ten book set in a box for $29 AUD. That is only 2.90 a book! Usually costs at least 70, so I bought two, one for me and one for my daughter with the new baby. Then I kept looking and looking and found the Hairy Maclary dvd with 10 stories on it. It is Australian so won’t work on American dvd players. But I like to show it to my class on the last day of school. Only 13 dollars. We read a story a day on the last two weeks of school. The books are so good, that we read a story one day and then read it again the next day along with a new one. Then on the last day, we watch the dvd and the children are enthralled.

    Like

  101. Your grandson would love these books, Kizzie. There is even a cat called Slinky Malinky. Oh, and who could forget Scarface Claw? But I like Hairy Maclary and Zachary Quack. “Pittery, pattery, skittery, skattery, zip round the corner came Zachary Quack.”

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a reply to jmiller761 Cancel reply