Prayer Requests 3-26-21

It’s Friday, so please remember to pray for Mumsee, Mike, and the Nestlings.

Anyone else?

Psalm 45

A wedding song.

My heart is stirred by a noble theme
    as I recite my verses for the king;
    my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer.

You are the most excellent of men
    and your lips have been anointed with grace,
    since God has blessed you forever.

Gird your sword on your side, you mighty one;
    clothe yourself with splendor and majesty.
In your majesty ride forth victoriously
    in the cause of truth, humility and justice;
    let your right hand achieve awesome deeds.
Let your sharp arrows pierce the hearts of the king’s enemies;
    let the nations fall beneath your feet.
Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever;
    a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom.
You love righteousness and hate wickedness;
    therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions
    by anointing you with the oil of joy.
All your robes are fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia;
    from palaces adorned with ivory
    the music of the strings makes you glad.
Daughters of kings are among your honored women;
    at your right hand is the royal bride in gold of Ophir.

10 Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention:
    Forget your people and your father’s house.
11 Let the king be enthralled by your beauty;
    honor him, for he is your lord.
12 The city of Tyre will come with a gift,
    people of wealth will seek your favor.
13 All glorious is the princess within her chamber;
    her gown is interwoven with gold.
14 In embroidered garments she is led to the king;
    her virgin companions follow her—
    those brought to be with her.
15 Led in with joy and gladness,
    they enter the palace of the king.

16 Your sons will take the place of your fathers;
    you will make them princes throughout the land.

17 I will perpetuate your memory through all generations;
    therefore the nations will praise you for ever and ever.

20 thoughts on “Prayer Requests 3-26-21

  1. My heart is breaking today. Still haven’t heard from Chickadee. (It has been almost a month and a half since her last brief text – wishing me a belated Happy Valentine’s Day – and going on two and a half months since our last get-together.) This morning, I started to tell Nightingale that I would like to invite her for Easter, but she cut me off, and said no, she is not reaching out to her anymore and neither should I. She says that Chickadee is “ghosting” us, and has made it clear that she doesn’t want anything to do with us anymore. (My heart and stomach hurt just typing those words.)

    My heart does not want to accept what Nightingale says, but my head says it may well be true. The thought of not seeing my younger daughter anymore is more than I can bear.

    Nightingale is convinced that YA is behind this – that she has convinced Chickadee that we don’t accept her and are bad for her. I had that thought, too, but figured I was being paranoid. But Nightingale is a more level-headed person, so the fact that she thinks this, too, has me thinking I’m not off base.

    (I may have mentioned that in the midst of this, YA shared on Facebook a post saying that it is okay to cut off family for varying reasons. I’m afraid that wasn’t a coincidence.)

    As I have said many times before, we believe (and others that know her well agree) that Chickadee probably has Asperger’s. One of the traits for girls and women with Asperger’s is that they tend to take on the traits and interests of close friends. For many years, we have seen that with her and the McK sisters in their interests. So I feel that her situation is almost like being in the grip of a cult, where the person loses the ability to think for themselves. Maybe I am exaggerating, but her situation is at least somewhat close to that, and it is scary.

    Please pray for the Holy Spirit to get through to my beloved daughter, and for reconciliation and restoration of our family. And please pray for me. Having experienced deep grief from Hubby’s death, I can tell you without exaggeration that this feels close to that. As I said above, this feels like more than I can bear.

    My heart and my prayers go out to those of you in similar situations with children or other loved ones. May God bring reconciliation to all of our families, and most of all reconciliation between Him and them.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Kizzie, I agree with your concerns. I do not agree with Nightingale’s response. You continuing to reach out to Chickadee isn’t costing you anything, except emotional energy, and Chickadee is your daughter, worth that emotional energy. Nightingale is also your daughter, not your authority. I have had a couple of occasions where I have found myself in conflict with a sibling, and one thing I try never to do is get in the way of my mother’s relationship with that sibling. They sometimes might disagree with me, but I know they all love my mother and they should have equal emotional support from her and be welcome to interact with her. You can invite Chickadee for Easter – that is your prerogative as a mother. You can let Nightingale know that you disagree on this and wish to at least offer Chickadee the chance to visit, whether or not she chooses to respond. If she doesn’t respond, all you will have had rejected is another invitation.

    Liked by 6 people

  3. Sometimes it is wiser pay attention to someone else’s emotional manipulation, and instead ignore it and proceed as you normally would. If Chickadee is ghosting you for her own reasons, ignoring that fact and continuing to reach out to her as you normally would is not playing into her game, but rather ignoring her game and heaping coals of fire. If YA is telling her that you don’t really care, then continuing to reach out is proving YA wrong.

    Liked by 6 people

  4. Kizzie, what Roscuro said. Keep the door open. Realize she very probably will not respond. Less emotion if possible, and more love. “The door is open, you may walk through at any time but my life is also moving forward” should be your attitude.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Ditto all of it. Chickadee is Nightingale’s sister, but she’s your daughter. Keep tapping gently on that door so she always knows you’re there.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Thank you all. Although I mentioned Nightingale’s response, I guess I didn’t clarify that I will still be reaching out to Chickadee in the casual way I have been (about once a week). I will mention Easter again. Now, this may be cowardly on my part, but I am not going to mention that to Nightingale, as she strongly disagrees with me trying to keep in contact.

    My response this morning was from coming out of my state of denial, and realizing that I may not see or hear from my beloved younger daughter for a long time (and I hesitate to add “if ever again”).

    I just can’t believe this is happening. It is so unlike Chickadee. She is a sensitive and sweet girl/woman. It scares me to think of what their influence has done to her.

    One thing I have also been praying is that God will prompt Mrs. McK to see that Chickadee is not visiting anymore, and that her heart will be pricked to encourage her to visit.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. So glad to see the wise advice you are receiving on here. Yes, keep the door open as you are doing. A brief encouraging text is welcome. Mumsee did that for me on here when I was depressed.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. I’m going out on the proverbial limb and disagreeing with the above advice. It’s apparent that Chickadee is not interested and she knows where you live and how to contact you if she wants to. At this point, I feel like it’s more important to maintain peace with the daughter with whom you have a good relationship and heed her wishes about an Easter invitation. IMHO.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Such a situation is so foreign to me, that I hesitate to give advice.
    However, Linda’s comet makes good sense.

    I know it’s hard to do, but some point you have to move on.

    Like

  10. As a daughter, I have no right to dictate who my mother speaks to or whom she invites to her own house, even though I live with her and contribute to household expenses. That my mother takes my opinions and wishes into account is her decision, not mine. I would be very immature and selfish to resent her reaching out to a sibling with whom I had some disagreement. Kizzie should not be forced to choose between her children. Nightingale should understand, being a healthcare professional who deals with elders on a daily basis and who should be aware of the issue of elder abuse and the many ways it can manifest, that forcing a parent to act according to one’s wishes in such a matter is not acceptable. It would be different if Chickadee posed a threat in some way to the wellbeing of Nightingale or Boy, but she does not.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. I am supposing that if Chickadee actually accepts my invitation for Easter, Nightingale would be surprised, but pleased. And if she wasn’t pleased, then she could let Chickadee and I hang out together alone. (But I really think she would be pleased and want to join us.)

    As Jo said, it is very possible that it is Chickadee’s depression (and anxiety) that are keeping her from contacting me. I suspect it is a combination of that and YA’s influence.

    Knowing Chickadee as I do, I know that when (hopefully) the time comes that she wants to get back in contact with me, it would be far easier to merely reply to one of my weekly texts than to contact me out of the blue.

    And yes, I am also endeavoring to keep peace with my Nightingale.

    Like

  12. In my own situation: I have a rule, if a child comes to me with marital challenges, I will only talk with the two of them so I am not talking without knowing as much of the truth as possible. I realize that often it is the fault of both parties but one coming and tattling is not trying to solve the problem. If true abuse is happening, I would maybe see it differently. But when my daughter said I was not allowed to talk to her husband anymore, I took that to mean I was not talking with either of them. Nor do I expect to care for my grandchildren if I am not allowed to talk with the parents of said grandchildren. Now twenty four is going down to live with twenty three so if troubles arise, she will want me to address them with me. But I told her, as long as I am not allowed to talk to son in law, it will be difficult as I don’t generally address conflict without both parties. It can be very complicated dealing with relatives.

    All that to say, yes, she needs to keep on good terms with her in residence daughter, but I am very much opposed to a son or daughter telling their mother who they can or can’t talk to. I am hoping that by not talking with daughter and listening to her endless complaining about her spouse, they are beginning to get things straightened up, but I have no way of knowing.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Kizzie, I agree with the majority response, that one daughter cannot tell you how or when you may contact your other daughter. You and Nightingale both have “baggage” when it comes to Chickadee, and Nightingale doesn’t like to see you get hurt. But this isn’t a case of choosing between two people with one to marry or which one to hire; this is two daughters, and you love both of them. I think you’re wise to try to let loose of “expectations” about how and when she will respond, but continuing to reach out occasionally in low-key ways is wise and loving.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. I have adult children who sometimes communicate and sometimes don’t. I tend to take the view that no news is good news. We also have one who is currently not speaking to us due to me asking her husband if he was paying child support as she was always asking Miguel for money. She said I was butting into her business. She has not spoken to him in over 4 years. I continue post likes and positive comments on her facebook posts. She has not blocked me, so that is a plus. Miguel does not do anything to try to contact her or reach out, which I think is a mistake. I show him pictures of the grands and and of her life through facebook. My thought is to keep the door open. It is up to them to walk through.

    Liked by 1 person

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