10 thoughts on “Rants! and Raves! 12-28-19

  1. 🙂 Lovely Christmas visits with everyone.

    😦 My husband came home sick.

    😦 We didn’t get to see our former pastor (who was so sick a few weeks ago) because he had a root canal last week (:( ) and a reaction to the antibiotics, and so he wasn’t at church.

    🙂 Baby S is a joy at 16 months, and it was a particular joy to visit with her parents till 11:30 on Christmas Eve, though we were expected to be at their house at 8:30 the next morning and no one got quite enough sleep.

    🙂 My first night home, we were in bed by 9:00 p.m. and I slept till 8:59 the next morning, only getting up once. I never ever do that, and that was a blessing.

    🙂 My mother-in-law said that next year we will do either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, since doing both was too much for her. That will be better for us, too. But it’s amazing that she even did it this year, at 83.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. 🙂 Most of the children and grandchildren coming for Christmas. They had wonderful weather for driving. I am also grateful for a couple of small chores my grandson could do for us.

    😦 I don’t mind getting tired, since we can sleep when no one is around. I was surprised when I woke up this morning and felt so much better than I had for days. I think most people are sleep deprived. Particularly children are these days. That is not good when it is chronic.

    :O It is going to be 2020! I remember when this date seemed so impossibly far away. It is interesting to live as if this day may be our last and yet plan for the future, since we have no way of knowing how long we will live or when Christ will return. It is a good thing God is so willing to give us wisdom!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. 🙂 Kids are building Lego and dividing up the pieces and sets.

    🙂 Turkey is in the oven, pistachio salad and cranberries are made. Stuffing is in the crock pot.

    🙂 Gifts will be exchanged later today

    🙂 watching Herbie, the Love Bug on Disney +

    Liked by 4 people

  4. I’m sorry it has been hard, Kizzie.

    For me it was hard calling (or being called by) all my brothers but constantly aware that my sister doesn’t want to hear from me and that she thinks bad thoughts about me. A couple of days before Christmas, one of my brothers told me he was going to visit her, and afterward he told me it was so much fun, so wonderful, and they decided to go for Thanksgiving next year and get his daughter and her family to come too, and we should come too, and I made the excuse that we invited our kids to come here for next Thanksgiving, not telling him that unless things change, I will never again visit my sister, because she has made excuses not to have further contact unless I jump through her hoops (hoops that have her coming up with new things I have done wrong, not bringing us together at all) and I am not going to jump through any more hoops. I expect sometime during the next year she is going to ban me from calling her children for their birthdays, since her latest addition to my faults is that I have undermined her authority with her children (I am very careful not to do such things with anyone’s children); her example of that one is that I e-mailed her a photo of my own granddaughter as a newborn, and one of her children saw the photo, and the photo didn’t meet her community standards for modesty. And no, it wasn’t a photo that showed nudity, she’s simply obsessed with modesty. But e-mailing a photo to my sister isn’t undermining household standards, and it’s such continuing exaggeration of my actions into evil actions that have gotten us into this spot, and continued communication isn’t going to get us out of it. She’ll either think badly of me or she won’t; I can’t adjust the outcome, because I didn’t cause the problem. But it grieves me deeply. Under different circumstances, I would love, love, love to visit my sister and family (and see my favorite brother and my oldest niece and her family) for Thanksgiving next year . . . but the door to such a visit has been slammed in my face.

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  5. Kevin, a couple of them know. She did the same to one of our other brothers before she did it to me (she even made the same accusations against him, that they have a “fake” relationship, he lacks empathy, and he’s manipulative . . . he and I both find it darkly humorous that the only person who has ever called either of us manipulative is the queen of manipulation herself) and she has not accepted any contact from him for maybe three years now. Funny thing is, we are the three who grew up together, with the next closest in age being eight years older than her (our older brothers are 8-15 years older than she is), and I keep thinking that she despises being in the younger group and wants to “play with the big boys,” since she hasn’t turned against any of them.

    I tried to get my pastor brother involved, to see if he would be willing to try to mediate, and he simply pooh-poohed it as she wants some space and someday she’ll miss me, and anyway he’s too busy with other things. I find it uniquely unhelpful that this brother is one of those teetotallers who thinks that alcohol is always and only bad, and he has decided that my younger brother is a drunk because he thinks he looks like one. So yeah, whatever.

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  6. PS In case that wasn’t clear, I think I have encountered some fairly elaborate guilt by association. If my younger brother is a drunk, and my younger sister has cut off dealings with him, then of course she is probably showing good judgment. Since I have not cut off contact with said drunk, my own judgment has yet to be proven. So if one has to choose between the one who has been proven to show good judgment and the one who may or may not have good judgment, it’s fair to assume the person with good judgment has made a good decision, even if the one whose judgment quality is undetermined doesn’t think so. But I wasn’t asking him to take sides; I was asking him to mediate some conversations.

    But unfortunately it isn’t only drunks who can be made irrational by alcohol. Some teetotalers lose rational judgment around alcohol, too!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Cheryl – I am so very sorry for the situation you are in with your sister (and that older brother).

    You may know that my older brother (my only sibling) doesn’t have anything to do with me, although we were never close to begin with, so my pain isn’t what yours is. Actually, since it has been this way for several years, I don’t think I feel much pain over it anymore. It is what it is, as they say. And he never said anything hurtful to me, like your sister has done to you.

    It really sounds like she is emotionally unstable in some way.

    Your older brother’s judgment of your younger brother sounds harsh. Even if your younger brother were a drunk, would that be reason for family to cut him off? (Of course, the answer to that would depend on the situation, such what kind of behavior was involved, and what kind of harm may have been done to the family.)

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Yes, that is sad all the way around. I understand, though. It seems to never matter how much you bend; it is never enough. At some point, you realize bending all the time is not helpful, but harmful to the narcissist.

    Liked by 4 people

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