Our Daily Thread 10-9-17

Good Morning!

Happy Columbus Day. 

And a Happy Thanksgiving to our Canadian friends! 🦃🦃🦃

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Anyone have a QoD?

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Also, I was traveling Saturday and missed something.  So a Happy Belated Anniversary to Kim and her husband!

 

81 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 10-9-17

  1. Kizzie, the rendition of taps was not recorded. The young lady was playing the trumpet in the hallway (I could see her).And she was very “military” in how she did it and how she handled the instrument.

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  2. Thank you for telling me that, Linda. Since it wasn’t in the room, it sounded recorded to me.

    That was beautiful, wasn’t it? The flag folding ritual was very precise, interesting to observe.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. That’s a skinny minny lizard.

    Our military house base plays a recorded Taps at 9 p.m. most nights, it carries to different parts of the hillside, depending on the weather, wind and other conditions. Some people mute their TVs so they can listen for it.

    I’ve been up for over an hour already, today is the day the gardener comes so I needed to get the dogs fed extra early (so they can be locked in for a while after I leave for work). Neighbor is home so I’ll ask her if she can let them out when he leaves.

    It’s Indigenous People’s Day here.

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  4. Morning! I opened my iPad this morning and there was Michelle saying she was safe…wait, what?! Praying for her and those facing this horrid fire.
    It is lightly snowing here…we did not receive the 3-5 inches predicted but it is below freezing cold out there! Coffee in hand, Jim Brickman playing on Pandora and a lovely scented candle burning…one of those days in this forest….(and I will finish my Biddy book today…I have been reading it at a slow pace, savoring the beautifully woven words describing the life of this exceptional sister in the Lord).

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  5. At veteran’s funerals around here, they still do taps and the gun salute. But they are having such a tough time getting the younger veterans to join that it is just the very old ones doing the work and they can no longer play the bugle so it is often recorded. And some can barely raise their weapons, so I don’t know what will happen there.

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  6. Mr. Holland’s Opus, that was the name of the movie that made me cry.
    I haven’t been sick in so long I am trying to remember what to do for a cold. Had to get up for n hour last night with a sinus headache, but was then able to sleep.

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  7. When my dad died there was no service, just a get together at the house, but when everyone was ready to leave, my son when out on the deck and played taps. That was really his only farewell.

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  8. There is a gentleman (not sure if he’s active duty or vet) who plays taps on his trumpet every night in Glen Rock, a small town near here. His neighbor strenuously objects and has 1) verbally abused him and 2) taken it to the town council. Most of the community supports him.

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  9. Jo, did you try boiling some water, add some salt, let it cool, and drop some into your nostrils? Let it go back into the sinuses and on down as far as it is willing. Usually gives us immediate relief from sinus congestion and sinus headaches.

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  10. I was wondering what started the fires, too. Prayers for everyone in the vicinity. Michelle has scary photos posted on Facebook.

    It is still raining here and has seemed so dreary. I am feeling a little depressed from all that my friends have been suffering lately. I am feeling a bit more optimistic about church than I have for a long time. You don’t realize what a weight something has been until things start getting better.

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  11. Michelle wanted me to let you all know the above information. This is the son who bought their home when they decided to downsize. She said she doesn’t have much gasoline in her car though.
    Let’s all remember them in our prayers.

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  12. Wasn’t it just Michelle’s anniversary? Did they get a fire while Kim got a hurricane?

    Nice to be single sometimes. We just get a broken down house.

    Liked by 6 people

  13. My fingers have been swelling some and I had to take off my rings. I just went to J C Penney and bought a ring I can use for a substitute. I was just going to get a plain band but they were more than a fashion type ring that will work that was marked from around 500.00 to 150.00 for their sales event. I had a little rewards bucks to apply, too.
    I said all that so Donna would realize another expense of being married that she does not have to worry with. I would have gone with a sterling silver band, but my skin reacts to it.

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  14. I have not been able to wear my wedding ring for years. It seems to have shrunk. Anyway, I have no plans to ever replace it or size it up. Husband knows we are married.

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  15. I just made some multi-grain toast and had peanut butter on it. Why has it never occurred to me to do that? All these years I’ve had it with untoasted bread. It’s even better on toast!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Don’t know if you all will find this funny or sad or something else, but here’s a story I forgot to share with you before now:

    You may remember me telling you back in late August about worrying about what the oncologist might have to say at Hubby’s appointment with him. (He had had a CT scan & bone scan the week before, & the doctor didn’t want to discuss the results over the phone, which had us worried.)

    At the appointment, we were told there was a tumor growing on the prostate, but there was a stronger med to go on which would shrink it, & he said “It is not time to worry yet.”

    The part I didn’t mention – Hubby texted Nightingale, “Don’t plan my funeral yet.”

    The next day the bleeding started & he went into the hospital.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. New patio is almost finished. It has been good because the younger three have been able to contribute by moving bricks for the young man who is doing the work for us. They have moved three pallets of bricks so far. Now they are off on their bikes to get the mail. On Columbus Day? Is there mail today? I just saw the UPS truck go past the mailbox so maybe.

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  18. When I said that I paid $13.00 for Elvera, I forgot about the ring.
    I bought her a diamond on credit from Lesser’s Jewelry, a place where my sister worked.
    They gave me a special price and I got it for $110 on credit.

    (Good thing I proofread that before posting. I had the ring costing $1100.00 and you would have believed it. But we’re talking 1957 dollars here.)

    Liked by 3 people

  19. So earlier this afternoon I decided to take just a small amount of papers from on top of a basket (not the bigger pile of papers next to it). Didn’t take long before I was thoroughly confused, & a little mad at Hubby.

    Pulling myself together, I looked for more info in the files, & found something that at first added to the confusion, then put it to rest. Then a look at our online banking put me more at ease. Phew!

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  20. Oh my…wedding rings. Paul and I ran off and got married ya know. We went to Service Merchandise and purchased matching wedding bands…gold with three little…I mean little…diamonds in the band. Cost of 150.00 each. I still wear mine…for our 25th Anniversary I bought a simple gold band for him as the original kept spinning around on his finger and it aggravated him…I told him he should keep wearing it as a reminder of me…who could be aggravating to him at times….

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  21. Major fire now in our area as well, sky is filled with smoke and ash and there are many hillside homes (in Anaheim, the southeast of me) being threatened.

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  22. What is going on down there in Cal?

    Kizzie, don’t be surprised if you do get miffed with him now and then over the coming weeks, months. We are all unique individuals with our strengths and weaknesses and those will be popping up here and there. My husband is a lot like yours. A huge mound of papers by his work space which he once and a while files in his file drawers upstairs. It used to be a huge frustration to me until I realized it is not my problem, though it could become mine as yours has. And I would have eldest son to help me sort through it as you have Nightingale.

    Liked by 6 people

  23. I have not bought a ring since 1985 when we got married. I would not have bought this one except for the fact of Art and I going to different churches. If I don’t wear my rings, like last Wed. to the ladies group, people wonder and maybe speculate. While enjoying the meal with the ladies I mentioned I was not wearing my rings because my fingers swell. Someone said they wondered why I did not have them on. The money I spent was to quell any questioning. And I feel almost naked without my rings. My fingers have the impressions left from the rings so that looks ugly, too. My rings were inexpensive, and I have added my mom’s band on the left ring finger and have been using her tiny diamond engagement ring on my right hand.

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  24. Enjoy them, Janice, I was not trying to take away from your fun. And I never thought about what others might be thinking so that makes even more sense. I was very uncomfortable when I first stopped wearing mine, but more uncomfortable with the thought of my fingers falling off from lack of circulation. Husband has bought himself several rings but tends to lose them. I don’t think he wears one now.

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  25. I was one who never removed my wedding rings. By the time I had my automobile accident, they, too, had shrunk. They had to be cut off in Shock Trauma and the nurse wasn’t able to do it. She asked my husband to help and I told her I’d never had them off. She said it was “the saddest rings she ever cut off.” I got a replacement and haven’t had it off since.

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  26. Mrs. B and I did have a hurricane as a wedding present. We honeymooned in coastal Massachusetts north of Boston in August ’91. We had planned to spend the first night there in a nicer hotel and then move to more economical digs.

    However that first night Hurricane Bob closed in. We were far enough inland to be out of danger as long as we stayed indoors, but we couldn’t leave the next day as planned. Power was out in the area so the hotel distributed candles to the guests, which made it more romantic. An extra night there with nowhere to go worked just fine for us. 🙂

    Adding to the excitement was an attempted coup against Gorbachev the same day, a few months before the Soviet Union collapsed. I remember watching that on the news with Mrs. B. before the power went out.

    Liked by 6 people

  27. Michelle, check in … Friend said her nephew and his wife in Santa Rosa lost everything & a friend from high school in Santa Rosa also lost their home 😦

    Liked by 3 people

  28. My fingers had begun hurting and even itching at times from the rings. I had noticed the finger nail on the finger on which I wore the three tight bands was very weak compared to the other nine nails so I felt I had to do something. I checked out rings at a second hand shop and found nothing suitable. The sales lady showed me her sterling band that she got at T J Maxx because of the same reason. I was going to look there if I found nothing at Penney’s since it was nearby. Thankful I found what I did so I could use my rewards $.

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  29. The fires are so horrible. I hope Michelle and all are okay. I wish I could send some of the rain we’ve had to quench the fires. I know many have been lifting the situation in prayer as I have. Also still lifting Kizzie. So glad you are here with us, Kizzie.

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  30. I had to resize my ring this summer just before our trip. I had it cut off a few weeks earlier and was going to wait until we got back so the swelling would go down more, but Mrs L wanted me to have the ring for the trip. I took it in the day before we left, saying I would pick it up when we got back from the trip. The jeweler had it done in a few hours.

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  31. I had to have my ring cut off when I went in to deliver our oldest daughter. Then I had to have it fixed. Then I had to have it downsized. I actually almost lost the diamond when I hit it on a grocery cart. Fortunately, I looked and found the diamond immediately. I had the jeweler put it in a little more secure setting. It should be redone again.

    I had no intention of getting an engagement ring. We were going to just do wedding bands. However, I kept getting asked out and decided that would help.

    My husband could never wear his wedding band because of his job. When he finally could and I was going to get it resized, we could not find it. One of the grandson’s had found it once and was told not to touch it. Hmmm–well, that is water under the bridge.

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  32. Thanks for the Thanksgiving wishes, The Real.
    We (parents and I) had two Thanksgiving dinners, one on Saturday with Second Sibling and family, and one on Sunday with Youngest Siblings and family. Both dinners were good, and it was nice to see my nieces and nephew. However, both presented some challenges. I had to bring up a necessary, but uncomfortable point of disagreement with Second and In-law about the plans for my parents’ future. My father thought my point was valid, and future plans are again shifting. I still have hopes for a good resolution

    The other was more painful. There is a darkness gathering over Youngest Sibling-in-law’s worldview, which seems to deepen each time I come home, and I see it extending to an obsessive control over unnecessary areas of his children’s lives – like obsessing over the amount the two older ones ate. The four year old is rail thin already (she was not interested in eating for a long time), while the two year old has always been usually big for her age (not fat, just big boned), which means that she is often hungry to support such rapid growth. Neither need to be hounded (and I do not exaggerate in using that word) about limiting the amount they eat. It happened the last time I was visiting, but I thought it was just a passing concern, but if anything, it was worse this time. It also made we adults, who got seconds, feel very uncomfortable about eating in front of two unnaturally quiet children, who were trying to be good after finishing their half-plates of main course, in order to have a very little bit of dessert.

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  33. I would have needed to get four rings resized. I hope the swelling will go down. If it does then I can use the new ring on the larger middle finger on my right hand. It is such that it will look good with the others on the left hand if that should happen. It almost seems my knuckle is bigger on the left hand, but I am not sure if it is that or actual swelling from retaining water.

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  34. Roscuro, I can see why you are concerned. It does not seem right to monitor the children’s food intake to that extent. Not only could it be physically harmful, but it could cause other eating disorders as they get older.

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  35. Janice, the family eats hardly any processed food and none of the family are anywhere near overweight. Youngest sibling is a wonderful cook and she has cooked many new and complicated recipes with unusual ingredients at her husband’s request. His tastes are always indulged. So his obsession over the children’s portions seems even more egregious. It is like the time he asked that Youngest stop wearing makeup, which she submissively did, but he started to trim his moustache with special scissors and waxing the ends.

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  36. Happy Thanksgiving Day, Kare and Roscuro. (And HRW, if reading on this thread.)

    Happy belated anniversary, Kim and Mr. P.

    Taps: brings me to tears every time, even when I’m simply hearing the music in my mind, as I did reading Linda’s 8:32.

    Mr. Holland’s Opus: one of my favorite movies.

    Prayers for our Californians as the fires rage. Stay safe, Michelle, Jo, DJ. Please update as you are able.

    Kizzie, 3:58 — it’s good to remember our dearly-departed loved ones’ sense of humor.

    Rings: hubby didn’t wear his wedding ring during the years he worked as a mechanic (except maybe at home — I don’t remember, that being so many years ago). He always wears it now, even when working on our own cars. I’ve always worn mine, an engagement ring fused with the wedding band. It sometimes annoyingly shifts diamond-down while I play piano, but I leave it on all the time, nonetheless. The ring isn’t so loose as to risk losing it by it falling off my finger somewhere.

    Speaking of papers in a pile, my husband and I are both disorganized with paper filing. Our children would be left with a heck of a job trying to figure out what’s what if we both passed at the same time or at close enough intervals that the surviving spouse didn’t get it all organized before also passing. However, turning 55 last month, getting senior-citizen advertisements in the mail, and thinking about my own mortality after KBells, Kizzie’s hubby and other not-so-old people in my locale have passed recently make me think more often about getting business matters in order before the end of my days, so it’s not a nightmare for someone else to sort through.

    Roscuro, 6:37, your second paragraph is eerily similar to a situation in my extended family. Change the ages of the children and one other detail, but the rest of it describes what I (and other concerned aunts and uncles) have seen in our family, as well. Painful, indeed, to witness, and especially to address.

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  37. If I didn’t eat processed food, I would have starved by now.

    Elvera took her rings off when she went to the hospital to have Chuck. That’s it.
    Me? I don’t wear rings. I don’t even have school rings (I have a HS ring but never wear it. I have a wedding ring I never wear.)
    I have this unconscious, nervous habit of tapping out Morse code with my ring, so I just leave it off.
    No kidding, I do.

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  38. I did wear my ring when I went away to the Naval War College. It was a “he’s taken” symbol.
    Elvera insisted on it and I agreed. Prevents some embarrassing encounters.

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  39. I once had a pastor who usually didn’t wear his ring. One sermon he gave, I think he was ad libbing something he hadn’t planned to say, and he said something like, “And you married folk, wear your wedding ring!” I looked to see if he was wearing it that particular day, but for the entire rest of the sermon, his left hand was hidden (behind his other ring or behind the pulpit), so I’m pretty sure that the moment he said it, his brain said, “Idiot! Hypocrite! You aren’t wearing your own!” I have no idea whether he started wearing it after that . . .

    I have had to have mine resized once and am about to the place of needing it done again, and I don’t want to. (I want to maintain or lose a little, not gain and have to pay to have a ring resized–the engagement ring resizing is free, but we have to pay for the wedding ring.)

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  40. Roscuro – I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that that kind of behavior is abusive, even if not physically. (And that kind of behavior often does lead to physical abuse later on.) The not wanting her to wear make-up is a controlling behavior.

    That happened with Nightingale. We knew it was a good sign, that she was starting to break free from Mr X, when she started wearing make-up again.

    He also was controlling with food in that he insisted on her eating what he was eating. For instance, if they were having meatloaf, & he wanted it on a bun, but she wanted it on a plate to eat with a fork, he would insist that she have it on a bun like him.

    I don’t know if you could caution your sister, or if another sibling closer to her could do that, but someone should gently warn her. And pray. I am praying.

    Liked by 3 people

  41. My friend Karen recently told me that her pastor had been widowed, then remarried a few years later. He wears his first wedding ring on his right hand.

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  42. Perhaps a more successful option, which I have seen work on others, is for a man or two to step up to the husband and tell him to knock it off in man talk.

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  43. Kizzie, it is hard to see the pattern even as close as I am to the situation. My sibling would at this point think I was being divisive by saying so – she has fully embraced the idea of submission meaning subjection. I have seen her lay aside deeply held convictions at her husband’s instigation (I have mentioned the Holocaust denial – that is still a problem, as my father realized in making a passing reference to it in Youngest In-laws presence discovered a couple of weeks ago), and he is quite capable of cutting off contact if he thinks someone isn’t beneficial to the family. However, she did stand up to her husband a little for the children: we ate two meals with them, with lunch being a light meal after church, and the obsession over portion size began then, with him saying he wanted them to eat less for lunch since they would eat a big supper. She quietly said that she was giving them the usual amount they had for lunch – I know that she gives them additional portions at their polite request when he isn’t around to obsess. Of course, when he again limited their portion at supper, I realized his reason that they should eat less at lunch to save room for supper had been specious. Sometimes I wonder if he knows what he is doing, other times I think he is glorying in his control as Man of the House. Little things have concerned me ever since I returned home from Africa (they married just before I left) and witnessed how they interacted. I would tell myself I was just imagining things, and when I would gently mentioned my concerns to Youngest, she would reassure me, and tell me all the wonderful things he did.

    He has, according to his wife, said his pattern for malehood in childhood was not his father – who is a good man who puts his wife before himself – but his maternal grandfather, who, I’ve been told by his daughter, Youngest In-law’s mother, was controlling to the point of abuse – she has a horrible memories of her unwed older sister being forced into the car to be taken to have her unborn child aborted (it was then illegal in Canada) and of the porn her father openly left around the house. It makes me sick to think that kind of path could be what is followed by the man’s grandson. Youngest sibling has talked very frankly about her marriage, and I don’t think he uses porn based on that. Certain things, however, make me nervous about his mindset toward marriage, like what he told Youngest when they were courting, “You’d have to kill me to get rid of me” – it seemed like a joke at the time – and the fact he hadn’t seen the need to be baptized, though his parents had attended a Baptist church for years and he stayed in a Baptist church, until after his engagement (I get that there are different views of baptism, but it makes me wonder if he saw Christianity as more of a framework for what he wanted out of life – a traditional family structure – than a love for the person of Christ). Second Sibling-in-law, who comes from a rough background (old order Mennonite families can hold dark secrets), does not like Youngest, and his dislike has only been growing the more he sees of him – I think Second In-law sees some of the tendencies that the men in his own childhood had.

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  44. I don’t think it is necessarily a “danger sign” for a husband to prefer a wife not to wear makeup (or to wear it) or to wear her hair longer than her own preference, or whatever. Years ago I knew a couple, when they were dating he wore his hair longish and she wore hers short (shorter than his, actually). But she preferred his short, and he preferred hers long, and both agreed to wear it to the other’s preference. All of that is “within reason,” of course–a husband prefers his wife with a natural beauty (or a bit of make-up), but he also acknowledges her own preferences and the rest of the context of her life (e.g., he prefers her not to wear make-up when they are alone together, but he understands she prefers to wear some in public, or that she prefers to wear some to parties).

    But yes, focusing on how much preschool children eat seems like a huge red flag, and paired with the rest of it, I would be quite concerned with her safety and that of the children. It’s possible that even when they were dating, she simultaneously told herself his good traits and played him up in her mind, but knew that it could be dangerous to leave him.

    When I was doing online dating, one man with whom I was in contact ended up pursuing a woman who interested him past her point of comfort, to the point where he got himself arrested. I was glad he lived in another state, and I alerted the site where we had met to his arrest in case he ever decided to rejoin. He passed his nonsense off as “humor,” but when a woman makes it super clear she doesn’t want to see a man, it isn’t funny for him to show up a couple of additional times even if he does it in unusual ways. Just this weekend I heard another case of deadly serious stalking . . . some men won’t take a “no,” and there really is no good way to get away from such a man, whether you marry him, move, or put a restraining order against him.

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  45. Cheryl – I guess that, combined with controlling what the children are eating & our experience with Mr X, I assumed the “asked” her to stop wearing make-up could have been more of an order.

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  46. 6 Arrows – The day was mostly fine.

    Being young, The Boy is not showing many typical signs of grieving, but he does mention Papa now & then in a sad voice. He’s also had some times of being angry, which I think may be due to his grief, although he does have angry bouts anyway from time to time.

    He was with his grandma the other day, & actually asked to come home. This is his safe place.

    Goodnight all.

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  47. This is his safe place. Indeed it is, Kizzie. I’m so glad he has you right there at home. That is a blessing.

    Have a good night, Kizzie. Praying for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  48. This morning I learned a lesson I probably should have learned at age 10, never to use cleaning supplies without reading the label. Mostly I use vinegar for cleaning these days, though my husband likes Barkeeper’s Friend and of course we have various stuff. A couple months ago he cleaned out under the kitchen sink to make room to put the drainer in there when we show the house. The next time we went to the store we got another large bottle of vinegar, but I still had a large (but not as large) bottle that wasn’t quite finished, so I worked to finish it before opening the new big one. I used it to clean the bird feeders last week and put them away (we aren’t feeding the birds anymore–he doesn’t want to risk poop on the sidewalk, and also doesn’t want to be taking seed with us), and it smelled stronger than what I had been using, but I was using it outside so it didn’t really matter.

    Today I splashed the rest of the old bottle of vinegar on the bathtub and then sprinkled baking soda around, but instead of the mixture foaming, it just sat there, and then my eyes started burning. It was only then that I looked at the bottle and saw “ammonia” on the label. Thing is, I did have some vinegar left, and neither of us knew we had ammonia in the house, and the bottle and label look the same. So apparently in rearranging stuff under the sink, that bottle got moved up, but I don’t know what happened to the other vinegar. But the mistake had him opening all the windows and me quickly rinsing the bathtub and trying not to breathe while I did! Then after everything had aired out, I dumped the ammonia out of the spray bottle (yes, I had put it in there too, a couple weeks ago), rinsed the bottle a few times, and replaced it with actual vinegar, and then I sprayed the bathtub and cleaned it. (Since the vinegar spray bottle was diluted with water, to do the tub I initially did it straight from the bottle, but once I refilled the spray bottle, I just waited to dilute it until after I’d done the tub.) Funny thing is, when I refilled the bottle two or three weeks ago, and used it to clean some windows, I thought “wow, I must not have diluted this as much as my husband did, because this really stinks!” It just never occurred to me, “I’m smelling ammonia, not vinegar!” But today I really had a bad thing going, with it splashed all over the tub generously and interacting with the baking soda. Next time, I need to read the label and not assume I know what I’m using!

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