69 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 6-1-16”

  1. Morning all.
    I just made my booking for my night in Brisbane. Thank for your help, Michelle.
    I planned to work on report cards today, but at our staff meeting they told us the online program wasn’t correctly set up, so nothing would work. I still have my own spreadsheet that I am entering the grades into, so no problem.

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  4. We see a lot of those birds.

    We finished up some last bit of business from my dad’s death. It is bittersweet, as much of life is. So grateful for the Lord’s help through it all.

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  7. I looked for the credit going to Cheryl for the header because it is so much like her style, but then I knew AJ not only caught a wonderful shot of the bird, he also captured Cheryl’s style.♡

    Yesterday while on Facebook or another social media site, I saw a cute video of a man who had trained his small dog to give thanks before chowing down on his dog food. The man got down with the dog on all fours and put his head down to the floor and the dog was in a similar position. After the man said the blessing, the dog sorta lunged for the food bowl wagging his tail to make up for restrained wags.

    So just now I read in my Bible from the book of Jonah in chapter three:
    “Not one, not even the animals from your herds and flocks, may eat or drink anything at all. People and animals alike must wear garments of mourning, and everyone must pray earnestly to God…” That was what the Ninevites had to do in addition to turning from their evil ways to keep God from destroying their land. I never thought about animals praying or wearing mourning garments. What would such a garment look like? I never would have thought about this in such detail had I not seen that video yesterday. I would have rushed through the reading without proper consideration of all it said.

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  8. Concerning the timeshare discussion, we did do a lot of swaps early on when we had membership in Resort Condominiumso International. Our son was young, and my mother was a widow, so we were able to take her to some places she would not have gone to otherwise. Our Hilton Head site was highest in rating, so we could choose from the similarly rated resorts. I think my favorite was Powatan Plantation which allowed us to visit Williamsburg and Jamestown. Later we gave up that RCI membership and now I think we can swap among the Marriott timeshares if we want to see something different.

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  9. Janice, I don’t think the “everyone” in that verse means “animals included.” Apparently the owners were to put some sign of mourning on their animals to show that this animal belongs to a repentant person–it has nothing to do with animals themselves repenting or praying. (Personally I wouldn’t be inclined to teach my dog that trick, as it seems if anything to mock prayer. I have joked about teaching a dog to “pray” rather than beg, but I wouldn’t actually do it.)

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  10. BTW, Janice, the Cheryl who posts on here (me) is not AJ’s Cheryl. That might be a little confusing. There are really only so many ways that you can photograph a bird, and AJ and I do have similar cameras (we both have Canon PowerShots–or that’s what he had last I knew–just different models.) He is having a good chance to get close to the red-winged blackbirds, because it seems like they are nesting close to him (in his yard?) and he has actually seen the nest. I have yet to see a redwing nest, though I’ve seen them defend their nesting sites plenty of times.

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  11. Today is the day! I have printed our boarding passes for tomorrow. I have packed just about everything. We are as ready as we can be. Hard to believe the time is here. It seemed so far away back in November when I started planning this. How great is it that it is now when I need to be in a different location.

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  12. Good morning all. I took the boys to the biopark in Albuquerque yesterday. We took the Rio Rancho grandsons with us. Lots of fun. I had chores etc to do when we got home after 10. I finally got in bed after 1 am. I had hoped to sleep till 7, but grandson was up a little after 6. We have painting the gazebo on the agenda today.

    My hubby has a time share in Las Vegas that he has never used. He purchased it about 10 years before we got together. It is not a destination I would like to go to. We just pay the fees every year. 😦

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  13. Good Morning…gray skies and sweet smelling forest pines this morning….two cups of coffee downed and more to come I am certain!
    What a beautiful black bird on the header photo…I have never seen one of those in person…the stark contrast of colors is pure perfection of artistry!
    Praying for safe travels for you Kim…the timing of your trip is in His Hands….I am fully convinced…trusting Him to show to you His purposes through it all..find rest in the knowing my friend…. ❤

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  15. Cold weather gardeners: Remember the experiment of putting the tomatoes out a couple of months ago under grow tunnels? Well, anyway, I did and yesterday was the unveiling as we are supposed to have lots of warm weather ahead. I have one more tunnel to uncover but have found twenty healthy and hardy tomato plants. They are not tall but stocky so should do well now that the time is ripe. I also found that some strawberries had stuck their heads under the cover and had ripened to perfection with no birds eating them. Delicious! I will definitely want to do that again with the grow tunnels. A bonus was that the weeds were very easy to pull.

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  16. Now I know what kind of bird that is. 🙂 Crisp shot.

    From this morning’s (poetic entry) devotional (Tripp): “You care enough to break my bones to recapture my heart.”

    Is today the day Kim & BG head west?

    I made the mistake of reading about coyotes last night before falling asleep and wound up having a very restless night. 😦 Someone posted on FB the photo of a coyote lounging on the vacant lot across the street from my house. I’d seen it before. One commenter said how beautiful he looked in his natural habitat. Hey, that’s NOT his natural habitat, it’s across the street from my house and smack in the middle of a residential area. Granted it drops off into a canyon (which undoubtedly is where the den is located), but still.

    I have to finish my political story today on one of the local state senate races.

    Politicians. Almost as annoying as writing about coyotes.

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  18. “I feel bad for them (the coyotes), we’re taking their land.”

    Comments like that just make me see red.

    There are vast amounts of open land in California. Vast amounts, from the desert to the mountains. The fact is (as in other areas all across the nation), these predators have migrated into the cities and suburbs for a reason. Us. Because we have (and leave behind, intentionally or not) FOOD. Plenty of it, in garbage cans, compost piles, fruit trees, vegetable gardens, pet food — and so many snack-sized pets! They are smart animals. Why live in the wilderness existing on mice when they can find cover and everything they’ve ever wanted by living next to us?

    Argh.

    This whole animal rights movement is just wacko.

    OK, rant over.

    grumble grumble

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  19. We had to New Orleans this afternoon. We had to Houston then Oakland tomorrow. We will be flying out of the Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport. So you know we have to have some music

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  22. Mumsee, I’ve read that, too. And coyotes are proliferating like gangbusters, even breeding with wolves in the northeast (coywolves).

    It seems our pendulum for wildlife management swings from one extreme to the other. Wipe something out.

    Or do nothing, stand back and let the predators prosper, just stay locked inside your house.

    Of course, sometimes nature provides the cure. A friend who was helping manage a fox colony that had grown to a very large number on one of of our smaller airport spaces said eventually, after they tried everything (including contraception under a local veterinarian’s supervision) a bad strain of parvo swept through and took out most of them. Problem solved.

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  25. Cheryl, there are a million minutely different angles from which to shoot photos. I know I don’t have the almost professional experience that you do in taking photos so I have no idea how you choose to shoot from particular angles. But I sincerely thought the header was from you. It has the Cheryl quality. AJ always has great choices in his subjects, but I don’t remember him posting a photo before that looked so much like what you post. I don’t mean to cause any commotion over what I pointed out. I just really love seeing all the varieties of life on our planet that God made.

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  26. I did not sleep well last night so I was praying around 3 a.m. over Kim and B.G. trip along with other mentions here lately.

    The last two nights I have eaten watermelon and it has given me diarrhea both nights. It has not affected Art that way so he can have my share this evening. I have given up sugary sweets, and now must I give up watermelon, too? It is a sad state my taste buds are living in right now.

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  27. Janice, as I get older, foods I once enjoyed my body no longer tolerates…what’s up with that?! And speaking of watermelon….I cannot for the life of me pick out a good watermelon…I kid you not, the last three I brought home have been total mush inside…I give up!

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  28. I actually thought the bird shot was a “cheryl” shot, too. 🙂

    Joe Carter has a good piece on the gorilla outrage — that helped me to take a step back and look at some of the issues it raises in a new light (for example “… if we are being charitable we’ll likely recognize that the expressions of anger, however misplaced, are a positive sign of genuine concern for animal welfare. Could there more that we are missing? Can we look past the excess emotion and find something praiseworthy about the reaction?” — made me think that perhaps I could show some more grace and give more of the benefit of the doubt to some of my pro-coyote friends).

    https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/the-boy-the-gorilla-and-the-outrage-questions-for-reflection

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  29. Janice, for a second I thought it was one I shot, too, because I have gotten a lot of blackbird photos this spring, but as I scrolled down and saw which greenery he was on, I realized it wasn’t.

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  30. Funny how we all subconsciously guess whose picture is posted every day before reading below. 🙂 We all have our favorite subjects and styles, but sometimes we mix it up and fool everyone.

    So Michelle’s alma mater, UCLA, is on lockdown this morning due to a campus shooting, two “down,” suspect still at large (based on latest reports).

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  31. Kim, I will be the one standing in the middle of nowhere, waving as you go by.

    We have lots of redwinged and other blackbirds. The other day I saw one with an orange face. I don’t know what it was. We have redwinged, yellowheaded, orange headed, but I had not seen one with an orange face.

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  32. News for those planning a whirlwind tour of SF tomorrow (thursday?):

    SAN FRANCISO — On June 2, National Gun Violence Awareness Day, the Wear Orange coalition will host a march across the Golden Gate Bridge to honor the lives of those affected by gun violence and to elevate gun violence prevention efforts nationwide. The event will be a family-friendly, uplifting gathering of local leaders, gun violence survivors and other community members.

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  33. It is midday here and I am freezing with the 55 degree weather. I cannot yet force myself to build a fire in the wood stove on June 1. Maybe later.

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  34. Cheryl – Thank you for your last comment to me last night, which I saw this morning. Last night I was distracted by something (which I will be writing about soon), & forgot to add that although I may share my feelings & frustrations about the situation here, I do not interfere in either of my daughters’ decisions. I may gently offer my opinion, if I think it will be received in the right spirit, but then I let it go.

    Donna – That quote – “You care enough to break my bones to recapture my heart.” – reminds me of a preacher who once said that when a lamb is prone to wander, the shepherd will break one of its legs, & carry it until it heals. Then the lamb will be so bonded to the shepherd that he will not wander anymore.

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  35. At first I read that as,”when a lamp is prone to wander,” and in realizing my mistake I laughed. I. Need. Coffee.
    I had tea today for tummy relief. It does not make me as alert as coffee.

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  37. Blow some cool air this way, Rkessler! I have been pondering about how I will get the grass mowed in this heat.

    I found some Rosemary and Sea Salt Hummus. It has a nice flavor.

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  38. This is gonna be long. Please bear with me.

    Last night I learned something that had me feeling sick to my stomach, in tears, & led to an hour of fervent prayer for Chrissy (& Emily, too, of course), the McK family, & also for some of you who are in very difficult situations.

    Over the weekend, I had asked prayer for YF. Part of what I wrote:

    “She seems totally self-UNaware, clueless to her own hateful & haughty attitudes, & unwilling to see any other viewpoint but her own. She has a very liberal & unbiblical view of the Bible’s teachings, & is unwilling to consider that the “traditional” interpretations of scripture are indeed correct. She believes that she is a devout, Jesus-loving Christian, but I have my doubts that she truly has saving faith.

    “She seems to be getting worse, more entrenched in those attitudes, so totally convinced of the rightness & righteousness of her views that she sees other viewpoints as not only dead wrong, but as coming from bad motives (hatred, bigotry, selfishness, etc.)”

    I think elsewhere I had written that I saw her aunt (who I’ve never seen comment on YF’s posts before) left a comment urging YF to be more respectful towards those with whom she disagrees, to choose love over judgment. I had hoped that that gentle reprimand coming from a loved one might open her eyes.

    Nope. In response (which I saw last night), she wrote a long, self-justifying comment about how very loving she really is. She wrote that she loves her gay & trans friends, & friends from other religions & races, so much that she needs to take a stand to protect them – that is how she is being loving in her posts. She wrote a lot of stuff about how Jesus gave His life for us, & how He wants us to love others & protect the weak & downtrodden.

    Then she went on to describe the person who had inspired the original judgmental & haughty post (which she claimed was really written out of love for all those friends).

    ” . . . finding every way in their arsenal to disrespect and dehumanize and allow active harm to come entire populations of people.” (The entire populations of people being homosexuals, minorities, & transgender people.)

    That’s me she’s talking about! Her post was about something I had said in the past, when I had merely pointed out that not everyone who disagreed with her views on something is bigoted or hateful. (For those not on Facebook, I want you to know that I do not post nasty things about any of those groups, & rarely post anything about the various issues involved with them.)

    She has twisted & misrepresented my words & opinions in the past, but this was the worst yet.

    Her view of me is so entirely twisted! I felt sick to my stomach reading that, knowing that my younger daughter lives with her & looks up to her. (Remember, unfortunately, a trait of Asperger’s Syndrome is to take on some of the opinions & traits of close friends, & I have seen that in Chrissy.) It is almost scary that as gentle, respectful, & reasonable as I have been with YF, she could believe such awful things about me. It is a good thing that I no longer comment much at all on her posts, but this shows how I really need to not comment at all.

    Please pray for Chrissy’s eyes to be open to what a poisonous, bitter young woman YF really is, that she will begin to see the dysfunction in the McK family, & that she will begin to separate from them emotionally, & most of all that God would draw her to Himself. (These are things that only the power of the Holy Spirit can effect.) Before I saw YF’s comment, & even more so now, I have stepped up my praying for all the McKs, for the Holy Spirit to move in their lives & deliver each one according to His will. (It goes without saying that I pray that for each of my daughters, & for Forrest & Ryan, too.)

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  39. Karen, if you are not being nasty and hateful in your messages, she is not angry with you but with Whom you represent. Don’t let it make you sick. God is doing what He is doing, ours is to pray and be His representatives to those who don’t know the Truth.

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  40. Mumsee – YF considers herself a good, devout Christian. She can write about her faith in Jesus in such a way that would make you believe she really does know & love Him. But just about everything else she writes shows that she really doesn’t know Him or the truth of His Word (although reads the Bible) at all. She is convinced that she & other liberal Christians are the ones who truly know Jesus & the Bible, & we more traditional Christians are the ones who twist the Word to fit our prejudices.

    That is a kind of entrenched attitude that only the Holy Spirit can change, & I will be praying more earnestly for that.

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  41. Karen, what sounds to me like YF’s increasing stridency may be just the thing that could get Chrissy to see YF’s poison and bitterness for what it is, and reject such beliefs emanating from an angry woman like that. Sometimes mild-mannered untruth-telling is more seductive. Spewing vitriol, on the other hand, can be a repellent.

    I don’t presume to know how God will work in this situation, but we know He is indeed at work on it. What may look very disheartening from this side may actually be the very thing God is using to distance your Chrissy from the McKs.

    Praying about this whole situation, as you know.

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  43. Wood cookstove will be installed in the new house. The best thing about our current house is that it is paid for. It only leaks when it rains. 😉

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  44. Karen, I can’t imagine anyone reading your posts and thinking you’re so horrible. 🙂 You’re really not that bad …

    Just kidding … But seriously, maybe 6 arrows has a point, her obvious stridency that now is so public will open other eyes who see and understand how ‘off’ her views are.

    Too bad she’s not open enough to get into a good/serious Bible study, something like BSF that is not connected to any particular denomination.

    Adamantly liberal Christians, though, seem to exist in a very small niche without a lot of openness to examining Scripture. It’s hard for all of us to put away our preconceived notions, but a few of the more strident liberal Christians I’ve known look like they’re not aware those even exist in them.

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  45. KarenO, have you considered not following YF on facebook? You may certainly pray effectively without listening to her junk. It seems that her posts add to your stress regularly.

    Donna’s quote about “caring enough to break my bones” is a prayer that I have prayed for my girls at various times. When I knew that they write in sin, or flirting with it, I would pray for God to cut them off at the knees. I know that He caused a major car failure for my oldest, making it harder for her to do What was on her mind at the time.

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  47. 6 Arrows – I have a feeling that YF is one way online & another way in person. She used to come to a small group meeting at our home (when the McKs still lived here, before Emily moved back home), & she didn’t exhibit any of these attitudes outwardly. However, it makes sense that this horrible attitude she has towards me & others would spill over in some way in her relationship with Chrissy. I pray that Chrissy would pick up on that.

    Chrissy doesn’t do Facebook anymore, but I’ve sometimes wished she did, & then she would have seen the condescending way YF treated me, & the way she has twisted my words. Sometimes I’ve been tempted to try to tell her some of the things YF has written to or about me, but I realize that could backfire “big time”. So I wait on the Lord to move in the situation.

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  48. RKessler – For now I have decided to stop all commenting, but I am still curious enough to want to see what she is posting. 🙂 I want to see what Chrissy is hearing from her.

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  49. Restless night here.
    My class has been singing the chorus about the lion may be weak and hungry… and it is stuck in my head. So, there was a lion in my dreams which woke me up.
    It is lovely to hear them sing praise choruses while they work.

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  50. Here is the “book” I made of Smoky Mountains photos to send to friends in a link. I haven’t done anything fancy with it, and it’s longer than I intended, but it is a “slideshow” of our time in the Smokies. I’ll eventually send AJ a few of the photos to post on here, but I know he has plenty of my photos already and doesn’t need anymore from me for a while. 🙂

    http://www.picaboo.com/?share=ffef05745b146337c89e0cf746a80cda&version=779476&siteID=ViaPreview

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  53. Wonderful photos, Cheryl.

    We are hoping the rain will stop long enough to mow. 😦

    Karen–it hurts to think those who know us would really assign such horrible motives to us. I find comfort in realizing there were those who did it to Jesus and you cannot get more perfect than that. When the bible talks about spiritual blindness, it really means blindness. When it talks about being enslaved by sin, it really means enslavement. That makes salvation so much more of a blessing and God is glorified!

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  55. Karen, I notice that your post at 4:40 starts with, “I have a feeling…” I know you understand that feelings and facts aren’t the same thing, that our feelings about a situation may or may not be accurate as far as what the reality of the situation is. But it appears (correct me if I’m wrong) that you’re building a case on things you witnessed before, and have decided that YF is probably just different online than in person, when it could be that the difference between what you witnessed in person some time back and what you witness online now is because of time elapsed, rather than setting.

    Know what I mean? You say she “didn’t exhibit any of these attitudes outwardly” when you were in her physical presence, but maybe she is exhibiting them outwardly now in Chrissy’s presence. You don’t see YF anymore, correct? If you don’t, then you don’t know if her online presence is any different than how she interacts in face-to-face situations. She may, at this time, be just as strident in person as she is online when discussing her religious/political/whatever strong views she may have, and Chrissy may be taking notice of any animosity she is exhibiting in person.

    I don’t mean to challenge you on this, Karen, because I obviously don’t know these people at all, except for what you share about them. But “I have a feeling” is very shaky ground on which to build a thought that literally makes you sick — physically, as you have described, and probably other ways, too, like emotionally.

    The choice to follow YF on Facebook is certainly yours, but RKessler brings up a good point that it seems like YF’s posts are stressing you. Your curiosity to see what she is posting so you know what Chrissy is hearing from her appears to me to be causing you a lot of hand-wringing. I don’t see that it’s doing you any good at all, because, as you say, you’re not discussing YF’s distortions with Chrissy, anyway.

    If knowing what she’s saying helps to guide your conversations with Chrissy, then I could see why it may be helpful to you to follow YF on Facebook. But it appears that you’re not really using the knowledge gleaned from her posts to inform Chrissy because it may backfire. I agree that could happen. Furthermore, I believe that it would be inappropriate to have a conversation of that nature, anyway, given that Chrissy is an adult. If she were a minor, that would be a different thing, but since she is an adult, she is free to make friendships with whomever she pleases. (And I know you understand and have acknowledged that reality.)

    Is indulging your curiosity worth the anguish it’s causing you? (You don’t need to answer that for me, of course.)

    I’m concerned for your health, Karen. That is my motivation in writing this response. The Lord is at work in all things, as you know. May you experience His deep peace as you prayerfully wait on Him.

    Blessings.

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  56. It had to happen. I was mowing and heard a non-grass sound. When I backed up there was a slashed toad in the grass. Usually I see them jumping away and avoid them, or pick them up and move them to where I already mowed, since they usually head for the grass I haven’t gotten yet. But this one must not have realized what all the noise was. Oh, well. I guess the stray cats will have a treat tonight.

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  57. The traffic is so bad in the bay area we won’t be crossing the Golden Gate, I hope, until after sunset. But, I’ll watch out for folks in orange!

    It should be a beautiful day. I’m meeting another friend for breakfast in Berkeley, so it will be full!

    We’re in a hot spell, and I bought some ice cream on impulse. Was it my fault the top came off the container when I took it out of the bag–surely that was an invitation to sample?

    Spent five hours wrangling with numbers at work. I don’t think I’m good for anything else today. Sigh.

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  58. Ah, UCLA. I looked at the FB page–students are clamoring they should get a week off because this happened in the middle of their finals and they won’t feel safe so it will throw them off . . . Adults are not being sympathetic.

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  59. Etiquette question (especially if you’re familiar with how it’s done in the Midwest): Who gets invited to a bridal shower? One shower will be for the young generation, one for the girls’ mother’s side of the family, and then there is one that will have people from other categories (family friends, people from our small church, etc.).

    So, should aunts from the groom’s side who don’t live locally (some live a couple of hours away, but none in our town) be invited? (To me, being invited to such a shower would be a nuisance, not an honor, and a shower is for local people or people very close to the bride, and not for such a distant connection who has to travel to get there . . . but I don’t know the etiquette of it, and neither does the hostess.)

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  60. 6 Arrows – I appreciate your concern. My “I have a feeling” is based on what I know of her, but yes, that was a while ago. It was shortly after that small group ended that she made some comments to me in an email about something that was said at a meeting that she disapproved of. At the time, at least, she didn’t have the courage to speak her convictions, but could be “courageous” sitting in front of a keyboard. But you are right that she could be different now.

    Quite frankly, if she is letting this bile spill over, it could actually be a good thing. Chrissy loves me (of course), & is actually kind of protective of me in that if she hears me having a hard time with something, she will quickly step in to help. Or if she sees that I’m feeling down or tired, she’ll give me a big hug. She’s very sensitive to my moods & feelings.

    There is always the possibility, though, that her strong attachment to YF & her sister (Chrissy’s best friend) could cause her to believe what YF says about me. I think & hope that would not happen, but I am not naive enough to totally discount the possibility.

    As for following YF on Facebook, it is not usually her posts themselves that cause me stress, but how she responds to me, or her very rare comments on my posts. With her more outrageous posts, I take more of an attitude of “Can you believe she said that?!” than of being stressed about them. (Although there are occasional exceptions.)

    Although I don’t talk to Chrissy directly about YF’s posts or comments, I have indirectly brought up a subject in family conversation, offering a different perspective than YF’s. I wish I could think of an example.

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  62. Luke 6:45 comes to mind, Karen, regarding attitudes spilling out in words: “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”

    We can pray that Chrissy will recognize YF’s evil thoughts for what they are when they come spilling out, if God arranges for her to be exposed to the bile, as you described it — good word, BTW! — when it overflows.

    God knows Chrissy’s heart, and knows the way to impress on her just what He intends to teach her. He has the timing of that well in hand, too.

    He is faithful.

    As far as your stress from YF being mainly caused by the way she responds to you, why not block her so she can’t see your posts or respond? (Or unfriend, maybe — I don’t know the lingo, and what does and doesn’t happen on Facebook when you choose those settings/actions. Excuse me while I flounder with the terminology, lol.) 🙂

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  63. The mother of the groom should be invited to showers. Out town relatives should not. They will bring a gift to the wedding or send one and if they attend the wedding will be invited to the after rehearsal dinner. …

    Thus sayeth Miss Know It All Trivia Queen

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  64. Anonymous (Kim?), I was pretty sure that was the case. Mother and grandmother(s) of the groom, but not aunts unless they’re local?

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  66. Just don’t invite someone to a bridal shower if that person is not going to be invited to the wedding….that has happened to me at least on three different occasions….and I was a tad bit irritated……..

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  67. Just got back from the coyote community.

    What can I say, everyone had opinions.

    At one point (I was standing in the back), a guy turns to me and says “Ever see ‘Jaws’?”

    I nodded, smiling.

    He says, “You know that scene in the big community meeting where Quint (the shark catcher) takes his finger nails and scrapes them down the chalkboard?”

    I smiled more.

    “This is that scene.”

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  68. Of course, this being L.A., we would have voted to Trap-Neuter-Return Jaws to the beach where he could frolic and peacefully co-exist forever with us.

    🙂

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  69. Nancy Jill, very good point. I wonder if that happens when the person inviting for the wedding and the person inviting for the shower don’t compare notes? Or when a group is giving a shower but not necessarily expecting invitations? I would think, for example, that a workplace might give a bridal shower, but not everyone at the shower is necessarily being invited to the wedding–I’ve had that happen, and didn’t think it a breach of etiquette. But if it were a casual friend or distant relative, and I were invited to a shower but not the wedding, yeah, I’d be annoyed. Me, I’d rather attend a wedding than a shower any day, and my rule of thumb in attending a shower (unless it’s a socially necessary one like a work colleague) is that I won’t go to a shower if I don’t know the bride well enough to attend her wedding. I pretty much only go to showers if I “have to.” Birthday parties are different; showers and graduation parties I can happily live my whole life without attending . . .

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