67 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 5-2-16”

  4. Lots of sad at the Y today.
    I told my “Y” friends that we are leaving. And why..
    Many of those people I’ve known for years, only at the Y. I don’t even know the last names of most of them. But they are regular people I kibitz with while working out.
    And some have shared their personal lives. One lady, as a child, escaped from Hungary just before Hitler took over.

    It was sad. But it isn’t over.
    Yet.

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  5. I know you haven’t gotten this far yet, but who is helping you pack, move, and unpack? If you close on the 3rd of June, when do you take possession? All those details to work out. I would come supervise, as you all know I have experience moving, but I will be in California that week with BG.

    I am off to the beach today, but you know it isn’t as glamorous as it sounds. 😉

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  6. Chas, when I moved to marry, I was moving for something happy, but I’d tell people goodbye and not know if I’d ever see them again. I ended up seeing my next-door neighbors once more . . . and she was in a lot of pain and no longer taking their multiple daily walks around the neighborhood, but we had no idea she would be diagnosed with cancer in a month or two and dead in another few weeks.

    Last time I saw a neighbor around the corner, a neighbor who rejected the Gospel, she forcibly pulled me out of her house, because her dementia unaccountably connected with her disagreement with me that I should wait till I married my husband to have sex with me. She physically grabbed me and pulled me, and though she was about 80 at the time, she was still strong enough that she gave me a bruise and a spot still tender for days. If I’d continued to live there, probably I would have seen her around and probably she would have softened to me . . . but she forbade me ever to come to her house again, which means it would have been trespassing to do so, and I didn’t. But five years later it still makes me sad to think that my last contact with a neighbor who didn’t know Christ was her throwing me out of her house because she disagreed with me about chastity (and she’s the one who brought up the subject; I didn’t–she was puzzled why when she drove by my house, she’d see my fiance and me sitting on my front steps rather than having him come inside, and I explained that we kept all our time together in places where other people could see us, and that meant he only came inside my house if someone else was there).

    And my church in Nashville has had people die, others move away, so even when we go back, it won’t be the same congregation. My best friend in Nashville, with whom I used to spend a weekly minimum of one hour in person and about an hour on the phone, we now talk by phone an hour every few months.

    Goodbyes are hard, and “no more goodbyes” is something I look forward to it eternity.

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  7. I have had at least 100 people tell me they would help if needed.’
    Everyone has been helpful.
    Chuck and Linda will be doing almost everything in Greensboro and Polly is helping Elvera here.
    The hard part will be getting Elvera to part with her “valuables”. But we know that , for example, she will never wear high heel shoes again.
    Out with them.

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  8. I believe that when you release things you no longer need, they go and bless someone else who really does need it. That’s why I don’t do garage sales, I donate to Ecumenical Ministries, the St Paul’s Thrift Store, and even Goodwill. I no longer deduct it on my taxes because the government would never believe me. 🙂

    Now if I could just convince someone else who lives in this house of that….

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  9. Wow, a moving crew of 100. Impressive. You can supervise. And buy pizza and beer.

    Salvation Army is good to give items to as well.

    Moving is always sad on the leaving end. But you can look forward to the “good” and fun end of it — having a brand new place to enjoy and make your own.

    Is there a Y near where you’re moving? I think I already asked if there was a Lions Club you can affiliate with.

    It’ll all work out, there’s just a lot of stuff to go through before you get to the other side. But just think, by July, you’ll be sitting out on your deck, your feet up, sipping a big glass of lemonade …

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  10. Good morning!! I have been in class this past week doing my refresher and taking other classes. I was astonished to learn of all the new designer drugs. But, in learning about the desired effects, I was struck that there is nothing new under the sun.

    I have been praying especially for the health issues with Chas, Elvera, and Kbells. I will have to catch up on the blog to see what the rest of you have been up to.

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  11. Forgive me. I need to go weep. Have closed up too many houses for loved ones. Make sure you take time to mourn–everything–and expect Elvera will be confused the entire time.

    When we finally moved my grandmother–at 90–into assisted living, my uncles were shocked at how lost she was. “But she was managing in her own home. Why is this so hard?” my uncle finally asked the nurse.

    “Memory compelled her through her home. This is all new and, unfortunately, trying to adapt to a new place often shows us how much has slipped away from them, mentally,” the nurse said.

    Your family wants to love Elvera and keep her safe and they don’t want to lose you. That’s the fear–losing the other parent while they valiantly wear themselves out caring for the weaker spouse. It exposes emotions most of us didn’t realize we had, makes us consider the impossible, and inadvertently turns (in our, the kid’s, minds) the relationships upside down.

    My own brother became impossibly demanding on our father until I finally said, “my word, how are you going to raise teenagers?” He had to be in control. So did our father.

    I had already raised some teenagers and ended up as the negotiating one between them as we tried to forge a suitable solution. It tooks us years to do that and much heartache. Your family is way ahead of where ours was.

    So, I thank God for your family, Chas, and for your willingness to do the sad, but right thing. You have the Holy Spirit–as does your family–which mine lacked. It doesn’t make it easier, but hearts submissive to the Word of God and open to Jesus’ love and grace have got to be able to make this transition easier–or at least easier than it was for us.

    Prayers and blessings.

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  12. Oh, we’re home and I’m back on a keyboard. I’m thankful I left notes of what I need to do today or I’d be totally lost. My husband just kissed me goodbye on his way to work and I feel almost puzzled–how do I go through a day without him driving me somewhere? 🙂

    We had a great time, enjoyed hours of terrific conversation, similar hours of splendid scenery and some poignant moments. Our favorite place to stay? The B&B in Fairhope. Favorite meal: lunch in Knoxville (grilled salmon and beet salad with goat cheese and truffle fries), though my simple breakfast with Kim was #2.

    I came home with twice as many books as I left with (the inevitable consequence of knowing a bunch of readers and authors).

    Most poignant moment was walking across a meadow in Cades Cove, TN, and realizing the grist mill and clapboard house could have been my family’s 200 years ago and not far away.

    A good trip. Now, whether I’m ready or not, I HAVE to go to the gym! 🙂

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  13. Got up in the middle of the night to find Annie sleeping in the middle of the new dog bed — and Tess sleeping on the floor next to it. Sigh.

    Can’t argue with or easily move a cat who had her mind set on what’s hers.

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  14. I have already given stuff to Goodwill and others.
    I was talking to Cuck last night. The guy who lives across the street from me is president of their Lion’s club. And a deacon in their church.
    You know what that means.
    I can’t do as much as I could when I was a young 70 something.

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  18. Those are very peaceful scenes in today’s photos, good for a Monday.

    Lots of May Day marches & demonstrations in LA yesterday.

    I seem to be completely lost when it comes to the calendar lately, I was reading an article online last night dated May 1 and thought, oh, this is a really old article, the page must not have loaded correctly.

    I’m not sure if I think it’s later than May or earlier than May. But it just doesn’t seem like May to me.

    That means that next month this year will already be getting close to being half over. Sheesh, where does the time go?

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  19. So my confession is that I dropped out of Bible Study. BG was going to class from 5-7 on Monday and Wednesday nights and I felt like I needed to be home when she got home. (This was drug education class) so I did not finish Revelations with them. Tonight starts a new study with the group: The Great Divorce by C. S. Lewis. My priest gave me the book and the Weight of Glory sermon yesterday after church. I need to read the sermon some time today to be prepared for tonight. Anything I should know? Anyone got the Cliff’s Notes to this?

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  20. I really enjoyed The Great Divorce. If that is the one about the bus ride. Nineteen year old daughter read it after me and thought it was amazing, she recognized so many people. Hopefully, she was also looking to see where she was as well.

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  21. Moving is hard. Getting rid of stuff is hard, if not impossible. But it must be done. I dread when my MIL passes on and we have to deal with the mountains of old magazines she was saving because of a recipe. One Sis-IL tried to tell her to just cut out the recipes and toss the magazines. She also went to a lot of library book sales and has several walls covered in shelves with books.

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  22. Next week my older daughter and I are planning to go shopping for a mother of the bride dress. Possibly a jacket dress style, though I’ll have to look and see what is available. Anyone know what stores are good for something a bit “older” than prom dress style but not dowdy? Shopping for dresses was so discouraging when I did it five years ago and virtually everything in the stores was strapless. But I didn’t have a mother of the bride when I married, and this isn’t something I’ve done. And I don’t want to waste the whole day and not find something; I want it to be a store or two, a bit of girl time together, and then maybe lunch somewhere.

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  23. It looks like David’s Bridal has a good selection. Anyone know what percentage of dresses on their site might actually be available in store? Also, I know I can’t be fancier than the bride, and I don’t think that I will be–but can the mother of the bride be fancier than the bridesmaids? I don’t mean that I want to outshine them, but they aren’t going as dressy as some weddings, and it seems that if I do something less dressy, say a knee-length dress, I’m making the mother of the groom go less dressy still. So if it isn’t “bad form” to be dressier than the bridesmaids, I might be inclined to do so.

    Kim? Calling Kim . . .

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  30. Polly cane over and worked on the walk-in-closet for about two hours. Two boxes to Goodwill, a lot of junk in my truck.
    Didn’t make a dent.

    Every husband should go grocery shopping by himself occasionally.
    I stopped by for some milk and cereal and juke and a couple of things.
    It ruined two twenties. I got four dollars back

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  31. Cheryl, a lot depends on the time of day of the wedding and what the bridesmaids are wearing. I know I have a photo of the wedding dress somewhere. Perhaps instead of a “jacket” type dress you could look for something with 3/4 sleeves? What are the colors she is using for the wedding?

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  32. Kim, morning (summer) wedding, probably dark blue, tricky thing is bridesmaids are choosing their own gowns and thus will probably have a range of styles. Most of what I’m seeing isn’t jacket type anyway; I’m seeing a lot with lace bodices and such, and I do like that. I’ll e-mail you the ones I like so far . . .

    Or I guess I might as well put them here. (So far I can’t get the Dillard’s site to load photos of any dresses. All it shows are swatches, so all of these are David’s Bridal.)

    Here’s a knee length lovely one: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_3-4-sleeve-tiered-floral-lace-dress-with-sash-261196_dresses-mother-of-the-bride-dresses

    And here’s a longer style that isn’t any fancier than the first, I don’t think: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_cap-sleeve-beaded-illusion-neckline-dress-xs4843_dresses-mother-of-the-bride-dresses

    Here’s one that isn’t blue, and isn’t a color that I’d usually wear, but it’s beautiful: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_glitter-lace-and-mesh-long-sleeve-dress-57727d_dresses-mother-of-the-bride-dresses

    The funny thing is, very few of the models look anything close to old enough to be mother of the bride. 🙂

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  33. Oh yeah, three links and I’m now in moderation. Here it is with only one link, more to follow:

    Kim, morning (summer) wedding, probably dark blue, tricky thing is bridesmaids are choosing their own gowns and thus will probably have a range of styles. Most of what I’m seeing isn’t jacket type anyway; I’m seeing a lot with lace bodices and such, and I do like that. I’ll e-mail you the ones I like so far . . .

    Or I guess I might as well put them here. (So far I can’t get the Dillard’s site to load photos of any dresses. All it shows are swatches, so all of these are David’s Bridal.)

    Here’s a knee length lovely one: http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_3-4-sleeve-tiered-floral-lace-dress-with-sash-261196_dresses-mother-of-the-bride-dresses

    The funny thing is, very few of the models look anything close to old enough to be mother of the bride.:)

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  38. Cheryl, while the prices are probably not what you want to pay, go to Talbots dot com and look at the Watercolor Rose Full Dress, the Matelasse’ Blazer and Sheath Dress and the Doupioni Silk Sheath Dress and Shawl Jacket. Look at the lighter colors. It is summer and morning.

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  39. Don’t you love we can vote . . . ? I liked the long dress the best, but take Kim’s point you need to be mid-length for a morning wedding. Perhaps the better question is–will you be able to wear it again?

    See 27 Dresses–a hilarious movie that my daughter and I love and we have no weddings anywhere on the horizon! 🙂

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  41. Did I miss something? Is one of Cheryl’s daughters getting married? I know Mrs L had a hard time finding a mother-of-the-bride dress. Pleasing her is one thing, pleasing the daughter(s) is something else. I tried to stay out of the process but since none of the daughters live here, I had to look at the dresses she found on line and go to the stores with her. I think she finally got one online. I just picked it and my suit up from the dry cleaners. Less than 3 weeks until the wedding.

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  42. Chas – If at all possible, you may find it beneficial to not have Elvera involved (or even around, at least in whichever room is being packed up), for her own sake. She may find it upsetting & confusing.

    Kim & Cheryl – Lee & I had a morning wedding (11:00am), & the bridesmaids & mothers of the bride & groom wore long dresses. No one told us they couldn’t.

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  44. Growing up, we referred to being sick to our stomachs as being “nauseous”, & that’s how I’ve continued to refer to that feeling. A few years ago or so, I read that this usage of the word is incorrect, that “nauseated” was the correct word, with “nauseous” meaning something that causes nausea.

    This morning, out of curiosity, I looked up “nauseous” at Dictionary .com, & found that I’d been using it correctly after all, as one definition for “nauseous” is the feeling of nausea. Then it had this usage note:

    “The two literal senses of nauseous, ‘causing nausea’ (a nauseous smell) and ‘affected with nausea’ (to feel nauseous), appear in English at almost the same time in the early 17th century, and both senses are in standard use at the present time. Nauseous is more common than nauseated in the sense ‘affected with nausea,’ despite recent objections by those who imagine the sense to be new. In the sense ‘causing nausea,’ either literally or figuratively, nauseating has become more common than nauseous : a nauseating smell.”

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  49. Peter, yes, our older daughter is marrying this summer. I have mentioned it on here. (In fact, when you first mentioned you had news you couldn’t share, I figured that was it, and I was in the same boat.)

    Kim, I can’t seem to find the “Matelasse’ Blazer and Sheath Dress.” The other two are not, to me, enough “mother of the bride.”

    Re wedding style, time of day, etc.: it makes sense not to have a long dress for a morning wedding. BUT the bride has a short train on hers (which probably isn’t typical for a morning wedding) and they plan to have dancing at their reception (which I would guess isn’t typical for a morning wedding . . . but then, believe it or not, I’ve never attended a wedding that had dancing, well actually just one, which had a Jewish dance). I figure that what is “in” or “out” or seasonal or not is irrelevant for a wedding. (Except that I wouldn’t necessarily want to be the only one other than the bride in a long dress. But I’d rather be “too dressy” than “too casual” at any particular event.) When I married, it was virtually impossible to find a wedding dress with sleeves of any sort. By virtually impossible, I mean the only place I saw any was in catalogs, not in stores. And lace wasn’t in. But I had no interest in getting a dress that said “This is 2011”; I wanted a dress I found pretty. Who cared about that year’s styles? And to me “pretty” was a lace dress with sleeves. So I found something in a catalog that I mostly liked, and then a friend and I found lace that was even nicer, and made a better version of the catalog dress. But to me it was irrelevant what designers thought should be in style that year. Likewise, I had to go to about eight shoe stores before I found white shoes, but I was going to wear white shoes, in or out. And I chose emerald green as my wedding color, and when my sister told me that they didn’t make little girls’ dresses in that shade and I needed another color for the flower girls, I went with pink . . . even though pink and green were spring colors, not fall colors.

    Anyway, the bride is the one who suggested dark blue, so that I wouldn’t look like I was one of the bridesmaids (who will be in light blue). Whether it “matters” whether the mother of the bride wears the wedding colors depends on who you talk to, but it seems like it might help photos to match better if I were to wear either blue or a neutral. Not, say, my own favorite colors (most of my clothes are green or pink). (I did show her the shorter David’s Bridal dress, and she liked it.)

    With a knee-length dress, I run the risk of it being too short (I have a long torso), and I’d be inclined to go at least a little longer, but it seems that just past the knee is a length that is out now. Right? But I won’t wear shorter than knee length, especially at a fancy event, and especially if there is supposed to be dancing, so whether knee-length dresses work will depend on whether they’re truly knee-length on me.

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  54. Janice, no, I’m not on Etsy. I’ve prepared my products, photographed or scanned them, and decided on pricing . . . I just haven’t gotten a site up and running yet. That’s the next step.

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  55. I have only been in Nordstrom one time. My brother had a gift certificate for there that he got as a bonus at work. I thought they had really classy things, but out of my usual budget. However I would splurge for the occasion of a wedding.

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  58. I like the dress, Janice. I have broad shoulders however, and that style seems to accentuate it unfortunately. I do like the higher neckline – all the dresses I saw at David’s Bridal (store) seemed to either be frumpy or have really low necklines or really high hemlines.

    I think I’d like something like the Nordstrom dress for length.

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  62. We wanted a formal wedding, & for some reason we decided to have it earlier in the day (I forget why now), & we didn’t even give a thought to whether or not that was proper. No regrets, though. 🙂

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  63. The dress is lovely but the beading says cocktail.
    I will send more links tomorrow. I saw one on Dillard’s website that I think would ne very flattering because I have seen one similar on a lady at church.

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  64. Kim, I had no idea about the beading is meant for cocktails. Why is that? I don’t go out for cocktails or the night life so I am ignorant about such things.

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  65. Oh, it’s cocktail time?

    My girlfriend got married in a noon high Mass (I was maid of honor) and it was long dresses and very formal all the way around

    Tiring day at work, there are just way too few of us, we’re all sagging … 😦 I didn’t get home until it was going on 8 and
    I’m pooped!

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