For almost 13 years I have had trouble getting BG up, dressed, and out the door for school. These days she sleeps until 7:40, throws on something, and goes to school. She is constantly tardy, etc…
This morning she cried that she was tired and didn’t feel well. She has received letters about her grades, absences, and tardies that she may not graduate. We also received a letter that she has to go to court over the minor in possession of tobacco products citation. When I called about that yesterday it is a mandatory court appearance with $250 in court costs PLUS whatever fine the judge gives her. I mentioned it to a friend’s husband that is an attorney. He raised the question if this could be a violation of her probation. If so that is 180 days in jail. She and I talked about all of that at dinner last night.
Believe me when I went through everything to have the Little Miracle I never thought I would be discussing her in these terms. She wasn’t raised to be this way. Anyway I lost it with her this morning. I am not sure what all I said, but whatever it was; it wasn’t good. I told her she was nothing but trouble….I do remember saying that. She left here on the verge of tears yelling at me and I yelled back.
I did talk to the Senior Councelor this morning. She will graduate, but it certainly won’t be with any type of honors. It will be more of passing her out of school. She isn’t genius and she isn’t low IQ. She is in the crack and doesn’t care.
Now I am on the verge of tears. Please pray for both of us. My heart hurts. I don’t know what else to do for her. Obviously I can’t make her care.
Fibroadenomas (fy-broe-ad-uh-NO-muhz) are solid, noncancerous breast tumors that occur most often in adolescent girls and women under the age of 30…
Fibroadenomas are among the most common breast lumps in young women. Treatment may include monitoring to detect changes in the size or feel of the fibroadenoma, a biopsy to evaluate the lump, or surgery to remove it.
I thought of that the first time when you announced it. They can be frightening; they are tumours; the name sounds like a kind of cancer; they are very common in young women, they really are not cancer; but if they get too big they have to be removed (I speak from personal experience). The friend who reported it to you may not have fully understood, and nineteen year old may be too embarrassed (and may not fully understand the problem) to explain everything.
Thanks, Phos, that sounds like what it probably is. Again, daughter is not interested in having help, but if this is what she is looking at, she probably can handle it alone. That is very encouraging. I love you, I love you, I love you.
I love you too, Mumsee. Now I see there is another experience the Lord has given me to help others. She is right, she can probably go through the surgery by herself. I went through it without anesthetic – but that is an experience I would not recommend. There is one thing you can try to do for her. After the surgery, she should not be doing any heavy lifting for a couple of weeks. This is because the underlying muscles on the chest have to move when the arm moves and movement under a healing wound can cause bleeding into the wound and tearing of the stitches (bleeding into the wound is of such concern, that the first few days post surgery there will be a pressure dressing). Perhaps you could suggest to your father (I assume this is the nineteen year old being spoken of) that she be given a couple weeks holiday. I know, it is hard to stop her, but you might be able to slow her down.
Kim – I hope you are planning on having BG pay for those costs, or at least pay you back for them.
My concerns for Chrissy are not the same as the concerns you have for BG, but we have this in common – there is nothing we can do to get through to our daughters, & it is tearing our hearts out.
Last night, lying in bed & praying, I surrendered my daughter into God’s hands, acknowledging that I cannot get through to her, & I cannot “fix” her. The Holy Spirit is the only one who can really get through to BG & Chrissy, & make a deep change in them.
This morning in prayer for my girls, I also lifted up your BG, & Ann’s Lindsey (or is it Lyndsey?). Hang in there, Mama Bear, & keep casting your cares & concerns on Jesus, our Burden-Bearer.
Yes, if this is what it is, (she should know this from the biopsy they took?), there are many people around who can step in short term to help out. My step mom has a son and two daughters near and lots of grandchildren to help out besides my daughter. She is the one who managed to be able to slip in and help full time. So, a couple of weeks of resting will be doable for her. Still waiting to hear back from her if this is what they called it.
Yes, the biopsy should show it, though all I needed was an ultrasound. What made me think it could be that was what you said about there being four, but only one was so big that it had to be removed. It there were four cancerous tumours, the treatment would almost certainly be a mastectomy – because cancer metastasizes as much surrounding tissue as possible also has to be removed – and radiation or chemotherapy would also be recommended. In any case, whatever the type of tumour it is, the need for rest after surgical removal will be there. There are other types of benign tumours of the breast – my mother had another kind, fibrous cysts, removed between her first and second child.
Kim, did you tell her you are sorry for what you said? I don’t know that it’s a bad idea to be modeling what an apology looks like, and to be giving a genuine one.
On a good note, Daughter had an ultra sound and the baby is doing wonderfully!
On a sad note, we found more mary jane and a pipe in son’s room. He will be leaving. I called the sheriff so we can come up with a plan. He will be getting back to me.
Kim and Cheryl, and sometimes it is good for the child to hear that her actions are not a good thing and not appreciated. But yes, sometimes we could say it in a gentler way, though sometimes they need the drama to actually hear what is said.
Phos, I sent the info to daughter and she responded. Two are of that kind, noncancerous. The other two are cancerous and thus, the removal. The doc recommended removal of the other two as cancerous cells have been found in the area and they could become cancerous.
Have been praying for you and BG this day Kim….she knows you love her…she knows she is going to get a reaction…she’s not unaware….When in this situation….and you know I have been…at times, a strong response is not necessarily bad…I know….you just want to scream “Wake up!”…..believing with you that she will….sooner than later….loving you both ❤
She will be completely paying for the tobacco charges. She has finally agreed to quit smoking. A lady who shops at her store came in and told them the cancer was back. There is a woman out there I owe a debt of gratitude
I told her I loved her and this is the same fight we have been having for 13 years. I am tired of it. Later she came to kiss me goodbye when she went to work
As always I beg your prayers for her. I also talked to her gather today. At least he understands.
Mumsee, sorry to hear that about the cancer, though at least you have a little more information on her condition. It is very hard for a young woman to face such a diagnosis. It stands between her and all her hopes and dreams for the future. In my case, the diagnosis was good, but before it was made, I felt the fear of the loss of my future.
Wandering Views 
For almost 13 years I have had trouble getting BG up, dressed, and out the door for school. These days she sleeps until 7:40, throws on something, and goes to school. She is constantly tardy, etc…
This morning she cried that she was tired and didn’t feel well. She has received letters about her grades, absences, and tardies that she may not graduate. We also received a letter that she has to go to court over the minor in possession of tobacco products citation. When I called about that yesterday it is a mandatory court appearance with $250 in court costs PLUS whatever fine the judge gives her. I mentioned it to a friend’s husband that is an attorney. He raised the question if this could be a violation of her probation. If so that is 180 days in jail. She and I talked about all of that at dinner last night.
Believe me when I went through everything to have the Little Miracle I never thought I would be discussing her in these terms. She wasn’t raised to be this way. Anyway I lost it with her this morning. I am not sure what all I said, but whatever it was; it wasn’t good. I told her she was nothing but trouble….I do remember saying that. She left here on the verge of tears yelling at me and I yelled back.
I did talk to the Senior Councelor this morning. She will graduate, but it certainly won’t be with any type of honors. It will be more of passing her out of school. She isn’t genius and she isn’t low IQ. She is in the crack and doesn’t care.
Now I am on the verge of tears. Please pray for both of us. My heart hurts. I don’t know what else to do for her. Obviously I can’t make her care.
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Sitting in tears with you, beloved Kim.
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😦 praying, Kim
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Kim, grieving with you.
Mumsee, I read your comments about the cancer question yesterday on the prayer thread. I wondered, could it possibly be this? http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/fibroadenoma/basics/definition/con-20032223
I thought of that the first time when you announced it. They can be frightening; they are tumours; the name sounds like a kind of cancer; they are very common in young women, they really are not cancer; but if they get too big they have to be removed (I speak from personal experience). The friend who reported it to you may not have fully understood, and nineteen year old may be too embarrassed (and may not fully understand the problem) to explain everything.
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Kim: praying for both of you.
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Thanks, Phos, that sounds like what it probably is. Again, daughter is not interested in having help, but if this is what she is looking at, she probably can handle it alone. That is very encouraging. I love you, I love you, I love you.
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I love you too, Mumsee. Now I see there is another experience the Lord has given me to help others. She is right, she can probably go through the surgery by herself. I went through it without anesthetic – but that is an experience I would not recommend. There is one thing you can try to do for her. After the surgery, she should not be doing any heavy lifting for a couple of weeks. This is because the underlying muscles on the chest have to move when the arm moves and movement under a healing wound can cause bleeding into the wound and tearing of the stitches (bleeding into the wound is of such concern, that the first few days post surgery there will be a pressure dressing). Perhaps you could suggest to your father (I assume this is the nineteen year old being spoken of) that she be given a couple weeks holiday. I know, it is hard to stop her, but you might be able to slow her down.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kim – I hope you are planning on having BG pay for those costs, or at least pay you back for them.
My concerns for Chrissy are not the same as the concerns you have for BG, but we have this in common – there is nothing we can do to get through to our daughters, & it is tearing our hearts out.
Last night, lying in bed & praying, I surrendered my daughter into God’s hands, acknowledging that I cannot get through to her, & I cannot “fix” her. The Holy Spirit is the only one who can really get through to BG & Chrissy, & make a deep change in them.
This morning in prayer for my girls, I also lifted up your BG, & Ann’s Lindsey (or is it Lyndsey?). Hang in there, Mama Bear, & keep casting your cares & concerns on Jesus, our Burden-Bearer.
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Yes, if this is what it is, (she should know this from the biopsy they took?), there are many people around who can step in short term to help out. My step mom has a son and two daughters near and lots of grandchildren to help out besides my daughter. She is the one who managed to be able to slip in and help full time. So, a couple of weeks of resting will be doable for her. Still waiting to hear back from her if this is what they called it.
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Yes, the biopsy should show it, though all I needed was an ultrasound. What made me think it could be that was what you said about there being four, but only one was so big that it had to be removed. It there were four cancerous tumours, the treatment would almost certainly be a mastectomy – because cancer metastasizes as much surrounding tissue as possible also has to be removed – and radiation or chemotherapy would also be recommended. In any case, whatever the type of tumour it is, the need for rest after surgical removal will be there. There are other types of benign tumours of the breast – my mother had another kind, fibrous cysts, removed between her first and second child.
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I am hoping she will divulge what label they gave her so we can figure out what she needs from us.
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We have spoken. She is still harboring a grudge. I told her I love her.
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Kim, did you tell her you are sorry for what you said? I don’t know that it’s a bad idea to be modeling what an apology looks like, and to be giving a genuine one.
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On a good note, Daughter had an ultra sound and the baby is doing wonderfully!
On a sad note, we found more mary jane and a pipe in son’s room. He will be leaving. I called the sheriff so we can come up with a plan. He will be getting back to me.
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Kim and Cheryl, and sometimes it is good for the child to hear that her actions are not a good thing and not appreciated. But yes, sometimes we could say it in a gentler way, though sometimes they need the drama to actually hear what is said.
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Phos, I sent the info to daughter and she responded. Two are of that kind, noncancerous. The other two are cancerous and thus, the removal. The doc recommended removal of the other two as cancerous cells have been found in the area and they could become cancerous.
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Have been praying for you and BG this day Kim….she knows you love her…she knows she is going to get a reaction…she’s not unaware….When in this situation….and you know I have been…at times, a strong response is not necessarily bad…I know….you just want to scream “Wake up!”…..believing with you that she will….sooner than later….loving you both ❤
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She will be completely paying for the tobacco charges. She has finally agreed to quit smoking. A lady who shops at her store came in and told them the cancer was back. There is a woman out there I owe a debt of gratitude
I told her I loved her and this is the same fight we have been having for 13 years. I am tired of it. Later she came to kiss me goodbye when she went to work
As always I beg your prayers for her. I also talked to her gather today. At least he understands.
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Mumsee, sorry to hear that about the cancer, though at least you have a little more information on her condition. It is very hard for a young woman to face such a diagnosis. It stands between her and all her hopes and dreams for the future. In my case, the diagnosis was good, but before it was made, I felt the fear of the loss of my future.
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But, as mentioned, the survival rate is quite high.
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Prayer for eighteen year old, I told him it is time to move out. He is packing now.
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He has had a plan, he has known it was coming. We hoped he would find the internal strength to head out but apparently, he needed a strong suggestion.
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