Today’s example of what true love looks like. Lucinda posted this late last night. Please continue to pray for her and for her husband Mitch.
I got the best Valentine gift today ever. It was simply an I love you, something he’s told me a million times before but today it brought me to my knees. I wasn’t sure I’d ever hear those words again (and this may be be the very last time) but for this day I am holding on to three little words very softly spoken by a very weak man that had to struggle to get them out, a simple and heart felt I LOVE YOU. I will cherish that valentine moment forever and if you heard those words today from the person you love more than anything in the world I hope you realize what a treasure it is as well. Sometimes the best gifts don’t cost a dime!
Well, he came out negative on the drug test, that is good, but not unexpected, he has not been much out of our sphere the past five days. His task now is to completely clean his room, removing all other people’s belongings from his room and then set up a bed so he is not sleeping on the floor, though he will be allowed to continue to sleep on the floor if he wants, but the bed will be available. It is now but he took it outside to the hunting mansion a few years ago and has not brought it back yet. He has until ten o clock or seek other accommodations. New rules. Tighter rules. Prayer for wisdom, strength, and truth.
Hubby returns to full days today. Prayers that he will pace himself. His boss has been good about reminding him the last couple weeks he’s been on half days to avoid potential injury-inducing activities, so that is good.
Prayers requested also for 6th Arrow. Her legs were stiff this morning, to the point she could hardly bend them. She said she thought it was because she’d been “sitting weird” on 4th Arrow’s bed. 4th Arrow reported 6th Arrow had only been sitting cross-legged for a while.
An 8-year-old shouldn’t be so stiff after something simple like that, that she can hardly move for a while. (The stiffness has gone away, though, now, and she seems back to normal. Growing pains, maybe? I was commenting to her last night about how much taller she suddenly looks, compared to even last week.) In any case, I’m hoping it’s something simple rather than serious.
As long as I’m here today, could you also pray for 5th Arrow? He is my spectrum child. (I still have a hard time saying “autism spectrum,” but that is another story.)
He’s made a lot of progress over the last couple, three years (he just turned 12), but yesterday he had a bit of a regression at church.
We have been without a 3rd pastor for over 3 months now, and we had a guest preacher delivering the sermon message yesterday. One of our regular pastors was doing the liturgy readings.
When it came time for the children’s sermon, where any children who want to can go up to the front of the church for a short message from the pastor who will be delivering the main sermon a little after that, this guest preacher stepped forward to the area where children were beginning to congregate.
My son, who had for many years been afraid to go up to the front of the church, and who had overcome that fear maybe a year or two ago, hurried up to the front, excitedly as has been his recent tradition.
He got to the front of the aisle, turned to sit down in the area of the floor where everyone was gathering, then promptly, upon seeing that new preacher, spun on his heel and immediately headed back down the aisle toward our pew, saying out loud, “I’m not going up there.”
Change is hard for these kids. That guy wasn’t supposed to be up there — that’s not the routine.
It served as a reminder to me, how far son has come — he doesn’t spin out of control like he used to about deviations from the norm — but there are sometimes still triggers that pull him out of his comfort zone. Helping him know how to cope with the unexpected is something I am still learning.
Anyway, if you can pray for him as he faces new challenges, I would be most appreciative. (And puberty is coming, too…)
Chrissy (23) most probably is on the spectrum (Asperger’s Syndrome is highly suspected), & has such incredible anxiety about anything she’s not used to. She cannot even make phone calls without a lot of stress, & even tears. But she will not let us help her in any way, & I feel like the McKs are enabling her to not grow. I’m at a loss for what to do, & the Lord has shown me that all I can do, at least for now, is leave her in His hands. So, prayers for my Chrissy would be appreciated, too.
(Forgive me for turning my comment about about your prayer request into my own request for Chrissy.)
I’m praying for Chrissy, too. May I ask (and don’t feel you need answer if you’d rather not) how the McKs are enabling her to not grow, in your opinion? I only ask because I want to ascertain that I am not enabling anything like that in my own son. Although he is not an adult, my husband and I fairly often talk about what the future might be like for our son — whether he’ll be able to live independently, etc. What we’re doing now could certainly have an impact on him in the future as an adult, for better or worse.
But then there’s the concept of just living one day at a time, and not getting too analytical about a future we don’t know…
When Chrissy was still at home, she was studying for taking the GED test, & she was going to learn to drive. We had plans (although we didn’t tell her this, as we felt the thought of it would overwhelm her) to gently & slowly help her face life as an adult, exposing her to various things little by little, & help her get used to them.
Since she has been with the McKs, she has not done anything more towards getting her GED, is not learning to drive, & to my knowledge, they are not doing anything to help her in any other way, either. Although, I think that because they (the daughters) include her in their social life, they may think they are helping her. To some extent, that is helpful, but “Asper-girls” tend to be able to socialize to some degree if they are with a trusted friend who can help them navigate the situation. (Which is why girls & young women go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed – they don’t manifest it exactly the way boys & men do.)
As I’ve mentioned previously, the elder McK daughter is 28 years old, but hasn’t had a job since she graduated college. She, her 21-year old sister, & another girl, as well as Chrissy, share a bedroom in the McK’s apartment. (The mother, younger sister, & the other friend work part-time for a small business.) This may be a harsh assessment, but it seems as if they are living in a fantasy world of everlasting adolescence, enabled by their parents. There is definitely some underlying dysfunction in this family, & Chrissy is caught up in it.
I have to keep giving her to God, trying not to worry, & realizing that there may be something that He is accomplishing in her being there. I pray for Chrissy, Emily, & the other young ladies every day.
Transitioning from parenting under-age children to adults is hard, 6 Arrows! I think we tend to make some (or a lot?) of mistakes before we completely let go. 🙂
Wandering Views 
Today’s example of what true love looks like. Lucinda posted this late last night. Please continue to pray for her and for her husband Mitch.
I got the best Valentine gift today ever. It was simply an I love you, something he’s told me a million times before but today it brought me to my knees. I wasn’t sure I’d ever hear those words again (and this may be be the very last time) but for this day I am holding on to three little words very softly spoken by a very weak man that had to struggle to get them out, a simple and heart felt I LOVE YOU. I will cherish that valentine moment forever and if you heard those words today from the person you love more than anything in the world I hope you realize what a treasure it is as well. Sometimes the best gifts don’t cost a dime!
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Amen.
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Well, he came out negative on the drug test, that is good, but not unexpected, he has not been much out of our sphere the past five days. His task now is to completely clean his room, removing all other people’s belongings from his room and then set up a bed so he is not sleeping on the floor, though he will be allowed to continue to sleep on the floor if he wants, but the bed will be available. It is now but he took it outside to the hunting mansion a few years ago and has not brought it back yet. He has until ten o clock or seek other accommodations. New rules. Tighter rules. Prayer for wisdom, strength, and truth.
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I am still not convinced he is not mixing mj with the tobacco and selling it.
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Hubby returns to full days today. Prayers that he will pace himself. His boss has been good about reminding him the last couple weeks he’s been on half days to avoid potential injury-inducing activities, so that is good.
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Prayers requested also for 6th Arrow. Her legs were stiff this morning, to the point she could hardly bend them. She said she thought it was because she’d been “sitting weird” on 4th Arrow’s bed. 4th Arrow reported 6th Arrow had only been sitting cross-legged for a while.
An 8-year-old shouldn’t be so stiff after something simple like that, that she can hardly move for a while. (The stiffness has gone away, though, now, and she seems back to normal. Growing pains, maybe? I was commenting to her last night about how much taller she suddenly looks, compared to even last week.) In any case, I’m hoping it’s something simple rather than serious.
Thanks.
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As long as I’m here today, could you also pray for 5th Arrow? He is my spectrum child. (I still have a hard time saying “autism spectrum,” but that is another story.)
He’s made a lot of progress over the last couple, three years (he just turned 12), but yesterday he had a bit of a regression at church.
We have been without a 3rd pastor for over 3 months now, and we had a guest preacher delivering the sermon message yesterday. One of our regular pastors was doing the liturgy readings.
When it came time for the children’s sermon, where any children who want to can go up to the front of the church for a short message from the pastor who will be delivering the main sermon a little after that, this guest preacher stepped forward to the area where children were beginning to congregate.
My son, who had for many years been afraid to go up to the front of the church, and who had overcome that fear maybe a year or two ago, hurried up to the front, excitedly as has been his recent tradition.
He got to the front of the aisle, turned to sit down in the area of the floor where everyone was gathering, then promptly, upon seeing that new preacher, spun on his heel and immediately headed back down the aisle toward our pew, saying out loud, “I’m not going up there.”
Change is hard for these kids. That guy wasn’t supposed to be up there — that’s not the routine.
It served as a reminder to me, how far son has come — he doesn’t spin out of control like he used to about deviations from the norm — but there are sometimes still triggers that pull him out of his comfort zone. Helping him know how to cope with the unexpected is something I am still learning.
Anyway, if you can pray for him as he faces new challenges, I would be most appreciative. (And puberty is coming, too…)
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6 Arrows – I sympathize, & will pray.
Chrissy (23) most probably is on the spectrum (Asperger’s Syndrome is highly suspected), & has such incredible anxiety about anything she’s not used to. She cannot even make phone calls without a lot of stress, & even tears. But she will not let us help her in any way, & I feel like the McKs are enabling her to not grow. I’m at a loss for what to do, & the Lord has shown me that all I can do, at least for now, is leave her in His hands. So, prayers for my Chrissy would be appreciated, too.
(Forgive me for turning my comment about about your prayer request into my own request for Chrissy.)
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Thanks, Karen, and no need to apologize.
I’m praying for Chrissy, too. May I ask (and don’t feel you need answer if you’d rather not) how the McKs are enabling her to not grow, in your opinion? I only ask because I want to ascertain that I am not enabling anything like that in my own son. Although he is not an adult, my husband and I fairly often talk about what the future might be like for our son — whether he’ll be able to live independently, etc. What we’re doing now could certainly have an impact on him in the future as an adult, for better or worse.
But then there’s the concept of just living one day at a time, and not getting too analytical about a future we don’t know…
Sorry about the ramble. Feel free to ignore. 🙂
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When Chrissy was still at home, she was studying for taking the GED test, & she was going to learn to drive. We had plans (although we didn’t tell her this, as we felt the thought of it would overwhelm her) to gently & slowly help her face life as an adult, exposing her to various things little by little, & help her get used to them.
Since she has been with the McKs, she has not done anything more towards getting her GED, is not learning to drive, & to my knowledge, they are not doing anything to help her in any other way, either. Although, I think that because they (the daughters) include her in their social life, they may think they are helping her. To some extent, that is helpful, but “Asper-girls” tend to be able to socialize to some degree if they are with a trusted friend who can help them navigate the situation. (Which is why girls & young women go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed – they don’t manifest it exactly the way boys & men do.)
As I’ve mentioned previously, the elder McK daughter is 28 years old, but hasn’t had a job since she graduated college. She, her 21-year old sister, & another girl, as well as Chrissy, share a bedroom in the McK’s apartment. (The mother, younger sister, & the other friend work part-time for a small business.) This may be a harsh assessment, but it seems as if they are living in a fantasy world of everlasting adolescence, enabled by their parents. There is definitely some underlying dysfunction in this family, & Chrissy is caught up in it.
I have to keep giving her to God, trying not to worry, & realizing that there may be something that He is accomplishing in her being there. I pray for Chrissy, Emily, & the other young ladies every day.
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Thanks for sharing that, Karen. That helps me to see some of my enabling tendencies where it regards my current adult children.
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Transitioning from parenting under-age children to adults is hard, 6 Arrows! I think we tend to make some (or a lot?) of mistakes before we completely let go. 🙂
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Yep. 🙂 I’ve got half of them on one side of the line, and the other half on the other. Maybe I’ll be perfect by the time that 8-year-old hits 18!!
cough cough
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