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Our Daily Thread 12-13-14

Good Morning!

12 Days! 🙂

Today’s header photo is from Cheryl.

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On this day in 1636 The United States National Guard was created when militia regiments were organized by the General Court of the Massachusetts Bay Colony. 

In 1809 the first abdominal surgical procedure was performed in Danville, KY, on Jane Todd Crawford. The operation was performed without an anesthetic. 😯

In 1862 an estimated 11,000 Northern soldiers were killed or wounded when Union forces were defeated by Confederates under General Robert E. Lee, at the Battle of Fredericksburg. 

And in 1981 authorities in Poland imposed martial law in an attempt to crackdown on the Solidarity labor movement. Martial law ended formally in 1983. 

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Quote of the Day

“Clouds and darkness surround us, yet Heaven is just, and the day of triumph will surely come, when justice and truth will be vindicated.”

Mary Todd Lincoln

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 Since today is Mel’s birthday, we’ll start with him and Judy.

We heard 2 of these ladies doing “Bring a Torch” last year. Here’s another with the whole family.

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Anyone have a QoD?

139 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 12-13-14”

  5. Yesterday I had lunch at Red Lobster with a friend from childhood. It was great to see her. We went to a quilt shop so she could buy some fabric. Later husband and I rode through the Drive Through Nativity at my church , and rode around and looked at Christmas lights along the way to get Chinese food.

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  6. Judy Garland got a few of those lyrics a little mixed up. 🙂 “To see if ‘rainbows’ really know how to fly”?

    Pretty, snowy photo from cheryl for the weekend. We had a good soaking (along with a tornado) in L.A. yesterday, with more rain in the forecast for next week. I think we’re on a roll. Pray it continues.

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  9. It’s cold outside. kinda dreary, with no sun. 🙂

    Everyone else is sleeping because they’re sick. I’ve been out to the bakery, stopped at the park and spent 45 minutes shootin’ birds (Got some nice ones), and am on my 3rd cup of coffee. 🙂

    I guess I’ll go clean something….. 🙂

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  10. With the snow falling, my still shot becomes a movie! I actually did get four shots of that scene, which I printed together in one of my photo books to show the action. In the first, the junco is feeding and the cardinal flies in (the cardinal is flying in the photo). This is the second. Then the cardinal decides he likes the bare patch where the junco is feeding, so he moves over toward it to claim it and the junco moves away. In the fourth shot, the cardinal is sitting cozily in the bare patch and the junco has flown away.

    Two years ago I tried to get photos of cardinals in snow, but never got any. (We don’t have any bird feeders really big enough for cardinals. The female will come to the feeder occasionally, but the male doesn’t do so unless he is really desperate for food. So I see him occasionally, but not predictably.) Anyway, last winter the male finally got hungry enough to try our feeder, and he was around our yard enough that I got some really good pictures of him in snow, including some of them (like this one) being the classic combination of cardinal, snow, and evergreen. This was in our front yard, a few yards from our front door.

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  14. Good Morning….it is our last day of warmth…tomorrow we get 5 inches of snow they say…it’s gonna be looking alot more like Christmas!! We need it! I’m out to do last minute stuff before heading out to a Christmas open house tonight….I need to bake some cookies or somthing 🙂
    Be blessed dear friends…so thankful for the California rains…perhaps too much of a good thing but needed all the less…or more 😛

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  15. The header photo could also be cropped in tight (to focus on the cardinal and the snowy evergreen branches, leaving out the bird to the right) to make a Christmas card scene. 🙂 Maybe with a soft, oval border …

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  16. Good morning. Question for Michelle if/when she shows up here:

    I finished your memoir last night and sent you an email very late (it would have been about 10:50 pm your time). Could you let me know here on the blog if you received that email? At least one person I’ve emailed recently said they never got the three emails I sent them, even though they’re getting other things in their inbox. Our service provider says the problem isn’t with us, but probably with them, but I’m not so sure. Thanks.

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  18. Yes, 6 Arrows, I saw your email and I thank you for your kind comments. Loving God without a Label has been rejected by a number of publishers who didn’t think ______________, but your comments and those of others in the past have filled me with satisfaction and gratitude for the challenging Victoria who spurred on the writing of that memoir. 🙂

    Let’s here it for good ‘ole Victoria this Christmas! 🙂

    And thank you for all who have put up with the angst of having a writer in their midst for, lo, 11 years now. 🙂

    If Poppy ever gets published, most of you will find a surprise in it. 🙂

    And if anyone else wants to read Loving God Without a Label, (your Kindle, Jo?), I’m happy to send it via email. If you don’t have my email address, contact me through my website http://www.michelleule.com, where today I’ve got posted a semi-provocative post about Mary’s Challenging Year. 🙂

    Back to the Christmas letters–some last minute photos have caused me to redo the pictures in the letter, even though half of them have already been mailed. But who cares?

    Only the cast of Frozen . . . 🙂

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  19. OK, good to hear, Michelle. So the tech guy was right, and I was wrong — what do I know? 😉

    And you’re welcome. It’s helping me sort through a lot of things.

    Now I need to start my own Christmas letter. And one of these days I’ll have to begin Christmas shopping… 😯

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  22. Beautiful photo, Cheryl.

    Becca is headed to tutoring with Mr. Dean this morning. Scott is driving her b/c L. informed me last night that she is required to wear black flats for her choir concert Sunday night and hers no longer fit (which means a trip to DSW). Additionally, she texted me from school Friday that her choir dress needed to be hemmed prior to Sunday. (She’s known about concert for two months!!!). So…since I can hardly sew on a button…yesterday after school, we ran dress to the tailor’s and I have to pick it up this afternoon after five. She has choir practice today from 1:30 to 4:00, which I’ll also have to drive her to (I cannot wait until she turns sixteen next September). I was fairly annoyed that she waited until the absolute last minute to communicate these needs… (Btw, I began this post at 10:00am CT, but had to leave to do errands, which are now done). On a positive note, I have to say that I love DSW! We are always able to find a shoe that works at that store. In addition to L’s required black flats, I found a pair of extremely comfortable black “everyday” shoes (even in Houston, it will soon be too cold to wear my usual Birkenstocks).

    Tomorrow, Becca and I are going to the Houston Symphony with my brother, Matt, and his wife, Lilly. It’s Becca’s first trip to the symphony and she’s super excited (she loves classical music). It’ll be Christmas music, both secular and religious, and I think she’ll really enjoy it. She has a new dress to wear and asked if I’d curl her hair… Then, tomorrow night, is L.’s school choir concert. So, it’ll be a day filled with beautiful music.

    All my Christmas shopping is done! And I’m even in good shape in regards to wrapping, which is a first for me. I love this time of year!

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  23. Michelle: I’d love for you to email me a copy of Loving God without a Label. Also, thanks for your email the other day. I’m sorry I haven’t responded yet; things have been hectic. But, thank you for taking the time to write.

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  26. I wrote a post that didn’t post, so I don’t know if I failed to hit the “post” button, or what. (No links, so it shouldn’t have gone to moderation.) Oh well.

    Michelle, I’d like to see your book, though I may not get a chance to read it right away.

    Donna, there was no way to crop that photo and have it not break at least one “rule” of photo composition. Basically, the cardinal should have been looking toward the tree or sitting in the tree, and then I could do what I wanted with the photo. But with him looking away, he ends up either right in the middle of the frame or (if I cropped it) looking out of the picture, or I have to crop the tree out of the photo (which ruins half the point of the photo). Since I shot the photo out of a small portion of clear glass in a decorative window on our front door, my options on how to frame it were limited. (I couldn’t just move the camera to the right a bit and get the tree behind the birds, or anything like that. Nor could I open the door or walk around the house without the birds flying away.) If only wild birds would take direction on where to sit and where to fly, it would be easier.

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  27. I may try to get a shot today of our mountains over the city skyline in the distance — it’s clear outside and there should be a pretty good view of them from the top of the hill in a park about a mile from me. I think there’s snow on them now, too.

    And hopefully there will be no birds facing in the wrong direction. 🙂 Photography can get so complicated.

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  28. Dear Kerfuffler: Look later tonight for the results of the pigskin poll, as the Army-Navy game starts in a little over an hour. Which means Janice has one hour to pick the winner, since she forgot to last week.

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  35. Janice, regarding the end of my 12:33. (The 8 – O thingy.) Eight-dash-capital O, typed in symbols without spaces between, makes the shocked face emoticon. Maybe it doesn’t show up that way on your phone?

    (I have a feeling that explanation just now may have made things clear as mud.) 😛

    Anyway, I don’t have to buy my own gift, fortunately. 🙂

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  37. I am not being very diligent about getting the things done today that I wanted to. Too much running, running, running this week and I’m worn out.

    Off to try again…

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  38. Michelle, would love a copy. If it is pdf, or if I make if pdf, I can read it on my ipad.
    Thinking of so many details last night that it was hard to sleep.

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  39. Donna your two videos say “blocked plug in”….whatever that means….I cannot play either…hmmm
    And did someone say DSW….oh be still my heart!! 🙂 I need some new boots I think…..
    Michele I would love to read Loving God Without a Label….not certain you have my email…well actually I do get your posts on my msn acct…does that work?

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  40. Michelle, send a copy to me, too.

    Nancy, I’m able to get the videos to play here — that is strange. I had to upgrade my flash drive here either today or yesterday, though, to get the videos to work at the top …

    computers, who knows.

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  41. I just tried to download three ebooks I said I would review, and I can’t find them on this phone. Maybe it is full already.

    I am late on picking Navy to win today. Oh, well. I am late on most things, lately!

    6 arrows, you are right about the face symbol. This phone does not show it. You had just mentioned that you had done no Christmas shopping so I took it as 8 to be shopped for and none shopped for yet.

    I want to do something about this phone and my husband’s but have not found time (especially with health insurance shopping and all).

    Michelle, I would LOVE to read your book at a later time, but if I got it now I am afraid it would get lost in a pile. In a few months I may be caught up. Then I want to get it so I can do it justice.

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  48. Michelle, You emailed me a copy of your memoir a long time ago. Have you updated it?

    I am about to post over on the prayer thread and would appreciate any of you going over to read it and pray.

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  49. I might have gone to a DSW in Chicago (do they have them there? It was that “kind” of store, so I’m assuming that’s what it was), and if so I didn’t find whatever color shoe I was looking for in a style I liked and could afford. But I did walk out with a ridiculous pair of shoes that I fell in love with, that I didn’t need, and that cost more than I usually paid for shoes.

    I went to DSW (for sure it was) a couple of weeks ago looking for black shoes, and got a pair of a brand I think some of you had raved about. That was the day we’d already looked in several stores for a purse, and decided to go ahead and order the one I’d found online. Did I mention my husband is a good sport?

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  50. DSW must be some kind of shoe store.

    I may not know that for sure, but a first-timer wins the final (unless we pick bowl games) Pickled Pigskin Picks. Congrats to 6 Arrows! Rivalry Week (or two) was tough on all the regulars. I’ll post the results here, since the thread got buried.

    6 Arrows got 6 out of 8 games correct.
    With 5 correct are kbells and Janice.
    There are 4 with 4 correct: AJ, Cheryl, Chas and Tychicus.
    IBNO got 3.
    Tied for last with 2 games correct are myself and mumsee. And I see that if we pick bowl games, mumsee and I will be on opposite sides of the Fiesta Bowl, since Boise State plays Arizona in that one.

    Here are the games scores, in case anyone cares:
    Oregon 51- Arizona 13
    Oklahoma State 38 – Oklahoma 35
    Alabama 42 – Mizzou 13
    Florida State 37 – Georgia Tech 35
    Ohio State 52 – Wisconsin 0 (Maybe OSU is actually good enough to win it all this year.)
    Boise State 28 – Fresno State 14 (I guess we could call this the battle of the city-states?)
    Navy 17 – Army 10 (13 straight for Navy!)
    Tie Breaker: Baylor 38 – Kansas State 27

    So, tell us, 6 Arrows, how’d you do it? If you want to keep it a secret, fine. But join us next year and test it out over several weeks.

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  51. I should have proof read. The second paragraph should say “I don’t know that but I know that a first timer…” The first part refers back to what DSW is.

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  54. “But I did walk out with a ridiculous pair of shoes that I fell in love with, that I didn’t need, and that cost more than I usually paid for shoes.”

    Gee, that’s like never happened to me. 🙄

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  55. I won? Oh wow. Beginner’s luck, I think. 😉 I read InButNotOf’s rant on that thread and thought, I have NO idea what he’s talking about — I am in WAAAAY over my head with this contest!

    But thank you. I guess I just picked the higher-ranked teams in all but one of the first seven pairings, then chose Navy because my uncle had served in the Navy.

    I did enjoy the aesthetic aspect, though, seeing all the team logos. 🙂

    So that is my little speech you asked me to give on how I did it. Did I mention how much my speaking fee is? 😛

    Thank you, Peter. I do believe I’ll join in more next year, and for this year’s bowl games, if there is a contest for that.

    And no fees necessary. I’ll collect my “Atta girl”s if that still applies, though. 🙂

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  60. My walking shoes are my retired church shoes. My garden shoes are my retired walking shoes. My snow boots are my husband or children’s retired snow boots. No need for shopping.

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  62. The designer shoes might clash with my designer pants and my designer purse and my designer jackets. Better to err on the side of caution that be a fashion catastrophe. Oh wait. I am a fashion catastrophe.

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  63. I like that commercial at 9:20. Interesting watching it with the sound off. My computer speakers were muted without my knowing it, and I’m watching the commercial thinking, is this supposed to be a silent advertisement? Then I saw someone’s lips move, and soon after, someone jumping off something with a guitar in his hands, and thought, hmmm.

    Third Arrow came and unmuted the sound for her helpless mother, and I got to watch nearly the whole commercial again, and hear it, too. 🙂

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  65. Fifth and Sixth Arrows sing in the Sunday School Christmas service tomorrow during our late service. Yesterday at one point, they were in the same room with me at home, busy with things, chattering away about something, when they heard on MPR an instrumental version of a song they’re going to sing tomorrow, “Oh, Come, Little Children.” They immediately stopped what they were doing, recognizing the tune, their faces brightening.

    That’s always been one of my favorite Christmas hymns. Sweet melody and lilting rhythm, not to mention the lyrics.

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  68. Stopping in before the exhausted Grammy heads for bed. This is the same Loving God Without A Label as the one I wrote before, I haven’t changed anything. I sent it to 6 Arrows because something she said reminded me of something in the memoir. I can’t remember what now, my brain and body are fried and I still have tomorrow morning with four adorables (I baby sat the fifth one earlier in the day).

    I’ll send it to all the above, I’ve got your addresses, and read it whenever you like. I wrote it some six years ago, nothing’s happening with it at the moment. 🙂

    It’s the story of how the Lord worked in my life through thirteen moves and six different church settings–either ministering to me, or me ministering to others, despite their denominations.

    It was an opportunity for me to consider Victoria’s charge I couldn’t be a Christian if I said whatever I said that day so long ago. I prayed, thought and decided to examine how God had worked in my life–to test if the circumstances in my life indicated faith or something else.

    It ended up being a wonderful “rear view mirror” look at the will of God working in my life in trying circumstances that stretched me spiritually and as a person. I’ve shared the manuscript and select chapters for years and am gratified people have been encouraged.

    As long as God gets the glory and people turn the prism of their faith to look at this work from a slightly different angle to catch a glimpse of what he might have been up to when things looked so challenging–I’m happy.

    Good night!

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  70. Musical Advent Calendar – Day 14: For ‘Gaudete’ Sunday, the carol of the same name, from the Swedish/Finnish songbook “Piae Cantiones”; and who better to perform it than the British fold rock group that revived its fame.

    Rejoice, rejoice! Christ is born
    (Out) Of the Virgin Mary – rejoice!

    The time of grace has come—
    what we have wished for,
    songs of joy
    Let us give back faithfully.

    God has become man,
    (With) nature marveling,
    The world has been renewed
    By Christ (who is) reigning.

    The closed gate of Ezekiel
    Is passed through,
    Whence the light is raised,
    Salvation is found.

    Therefore let our gathering
    Now sing in brightness
    Let it give praise to the Lord:
    Greeting to our King.

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  76. Good Morning…it is snowing…but not as much as we expected…staying indoors today….
    Victoria tended to be a bit abrasive in her approach…my very first post on the WV site was met with attack from her…I was in shock and became a “lurker” for quite a while….I wish her well…but man was she ever harsh….

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  77. Victoria is a sister in Christ. She has good knowledge of the things of the Lord. She has strong opinions. When she first arrived, all was in caps. I told her that was considered yelling and we were a gentle bunch.for the most part. She yelled at me that she was merely emphasizing her point. But quietly, over time, she reduced the caps to select times. Iron sharpens iron and she was good for us. I was sorry to see she was kicked out but understood the moderator’s dilemma.

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  79. She did. 🙂 She also mentioned once that they had an actual fountain in the foyer of their house. I didn’t know anyone else with an indoor decorative fountain.

    Hope she’s doing well.

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  80. She had a foyer. I have a mud room and a coat room where a child sleeps periodically when she can’t sleep with her sisters. The only running water in there comes from coats or boots or the occasional too long a wait for the bathroom.

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  82. I don’t have a mud room. But I do have muddy paw-print pattern floors whenever it rains.

    Fountain? That would be the occasional trickle from the bathroom sink I turn on for the cat to enjoy while I’m getting ready for work or bed.

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  83. Donna – Each morning, I have to turn the kitchen faucet on with the water rapidly dripping so that Rudy (the little cat with the big personality) will leave me alone while I do my morning kitchen chores. 🙂

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  84. Well, a little while ago, on Rants & Raves, I mentioned enjoying a much-needed four-day break from babysitting, & wrote that I may write about the circumstances sometime today. Might as well do it now.

    With Emily’s usual schedule of working with Lee a couple mornings each week & LPN school two nights a week, & all day Saturday, Chrissy & I babysit a little over 30 hours each week, & close to 40 hours every other week when Emily gets together with her boyfriend (they have to travel a bit to get together, & then spend a lot of time on their dates).

    Forrest is in a phase of being more challenging than usual, as I mentioned recently. For a while there, he had been a dream to babysit, but he’s in a new phase now. We are all working with him to help him learn boundaries & acceptable behavior, but it’s taking a while to sink in. He is usually a sweet boy, though, not a spoiled brat.

    (Mumsee, I hope you saw my reply to you that Emily did not do any drugs while pregnant, & in fact stopped being a vegetarian in order to ensure enough protein for her & her baby. She also was careful about her diet while nursing. In general, she is a very good mother, & is quite firm with Forrest.)

    Lunch is almost ready, so I’ll be back to finish this a bit later.

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  85. I remember Victoria. She never bothered me.
    Kim’s commercial reminded me of one of the best I’ve ever heard. I think I told you about it.
    I was at Purdue when I heard it.
    It was the song, “I’d like to teach the world to sing”. They went through the entire sing, but ended it with, “I’d like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company. It’s the real thing..”

    “If someone offends you while you’re doing the Lord’s work. It isn’t about the Lord’s work.”
    Stephen Coggins.
    You have to cogitate a bit to get that..

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  86. Every time I hear “Jingle Bells”, I think of little Donna.
    Donna was a girl Elvera used to keep when we lived in Spartanburg. She was about Chucik’s age. Which means she is a grown woman now.
    She had her own version which went “….. Oh, what fun it is to ride in grandma’s Chevrolet.”
    Only, she couldn’t pronounce the words and they came out phonetically as “dammah’s doboddey”
    I hope little Donna has had a good life.

    When you get old and don’t have deadlines to meet, reports to write and meetings to plan, you will reminisce on things of long ago too.

    BTW Attagirl, 6 Arrows.

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  90. We haven’t seen Random in over a year now.
    He has some Christian relatives who are close.
    I used to pray for/about Random, but not lately.
    I had forgotte4n about Random until you mentioned him.

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  92. “Attached girl” works too, Janice. 😉 Although the one to whom I’m attached is in town running right now, and I’m only sitting here at my computer, exercising my fingers. 🙂

    Victoria must have been before my time. I started lurking at WMB around mid-2011 and don’t remember her name. Maybe she was there, though, and I didn’t know it. There were lots of threads, and I mostly stuck to Whirled Views and, later, Rants & Raves as well.

    I think of Random sometimes when I hear anything about Washington State. I used to pray for him more often than I do now.

    Michelle, I don’t remember, either, what we were talking about when you first mentioned your memoir to me — maybe something with relationship challenges I was having a while back? Whatever the case, the book stimulated my thinking on a lot of matters, and was a very worthwhile read on numerous levels.

    Those of you about to embark on reading Michelle’s memoir, I am confident you will be blessed by it, as I was. It comes highly recommended by this reader. 🙂

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  101. wow, so nice to read all your comments this rainy Monday morning. We may have sunshine later, but this is the rainy season and we get rain everyday.
    I am beginning to wonder what my suitcase weighs. I may have to take some things out. I keep remembering that I am not traveling, I am moving. Two more days of school and then I am off.

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  103. 6 Arrows, on threads other than Whirled Views, Victoria could be pig-headed and extremely rude. I remember one time we were talking about the friendships of teen girls, and I mentioned something that an adult had said about teen friendships when I was a teenager myself, and how it resonated with me as “true.” Victoria jumped in with both feet and told me that since I had never been a mother to teenagers, I had no right to have an opinion on the subject. (I was just thinking about her a couple weeks ago and wondering if she would consider “stepmom to two teen girls” adequate.) I pointed out that I wasn’t speaking as a parent, but as a former teenager myself . . . and that if one had to have been a parent of people a certain age to know anything about that age, then no one could ever know anything about old people. It’s really a silly standard. I also pointed out that I’d had a lot of experience with children, including camp counselor and foster mom, and that I’d had an open-door policy to neighborhood kids (including teenagers) in Chicago for several years, so I wasn’t exactly completely ignorant, even if I had never borne children. Her response was that God hadn’t chosen me to be a mother, and maybe I needed to take that up with him . . . it really sounded like she was saying someone like me didn’t “deserve” to be a mother and God knew that. To a woman who always wanted to be a mom, it was pretty rude.

    Another time she insisted that pastors ALWAYS were good fathers, no exceptions, and yet I had within the past week been on the phone with someone weeping over their family falling apart because the husband had been so busy with “ministry” that the family was neglected; the wife and mother was now dying, and she didn’t want her husband around because she didn’t feel close to him, and the kids were in an awful lot of pain with watching it; I had talked to one of the kids (a close friend of mine) for two hours as she wept in pain over her mother’s pending death and also the breach between her parents. The situation was far too personal for me to post that on the blog, but I was crying as I was posting to Victoria and telling her no, pastors do NOT always have their priorities in order. (She thought I was being unkind in some post I made when I said that those of you in ministry need to be careful not to forget your families, and she said it never happened; she had been a pastor’s daughter and thus she knew pastors were always great fathers. I had gut-wrenching evidence that indeed it sometimes does, not to mention I had heard it in other sources, that indeed pastors often are so busy “serving the Lord” that their families fall through the cracks.) I pleaded with her to e-mail me so that we could speak more privately, but she refused, saying more or less that she didn’t trust me with her e-mail address, or something along that line.

    She could also be very fun. She and I went back and forth in teasing about pink sandals when I told about my bubble-gum-pink sandals (the ones I got from DSW in Chicago) because she liked pink shoes. But I almost left the blog over her, she was so rude to me and others, and I was greatly relieved when she was finally asked to leave. I’m fully willing to have discussions with people in which we disagree, but this really felt like more than that.

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  104. Back to my story.

    So, with the number of hours we babysit, & Forrest’s current phase of being difficult (not all the time, of course, but spatterings of it throughout each day), Chrissy & I are feeling some strain from it. We’re both a bit resentful of Emily adding to our babysitting time by dating A every other week, but at the same time, I realize that Emily should be able to see someone if she wants. What sucks (excuse my language), for her & for us, is that we are the only ones she can rely on to take care of Forrest.

    It’s not that I want get out of babysitting him altogether, but I wish it weren’t so much.

    Due to a different schedule this week, Emily wouldn’t be working with Lee on Thursday, & her Saturday “clinical” would be on Wednesday, which would give Chrissy & me four whole days off in a row. (Due to the clinical & her regular Wed. evening classes, I babysat from the time I got up until Emily got home at 10:30 that night, & Forrest was still awake. Chrissy was with me for part of that time.)

    So, I was happy to wake up on Thursday morning, with those four days stretching before me, & pleasant plans for online Christmas shopping, decorating the tree, writing Christmas cards, & fitting in some rest & relaxation, too.

    To be continued… 🙂

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  107. Karen, I assume that Emily pays you something for babysitting? Even if it’s only a little bit, she should be . . . at a minimum, for any hours beyond “agreed-upon” situations like her going to school. For example, if you see her going to school as preparation for a better future and you’re willing to babysit free for her from half an hour before school time to half an hour after (to allow for a commute time), but a dollar for every ten minutes past that. And you’ll babysit for her while she is working for a dollar an hour, since after all she is making money. And if she wants to go on a date or do something else for herself, you will babysit for three dollars an hour (or half what the “going rate” in your region is), four dollars if you have less than 48 hours notice. Or however it would work for all of you. That way, neither party can feel like the other is taking advantage. She also should be paying a little something in rent.

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  108. Jo, are you returning to the States for good? Leaving to go elsewhere? I thought I read something about furlough, but I never did see what “the big picture” is. Wait . . . am I confusing you with someone else? You’re a teacher, not a missionary, but you’re overseas. Right?

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  109. Victoria must have left, I don’t know, around 2010 or so? I joined in ’08 and after an early & very unpleasant go-around with her late one night (about pets in heaven in which she kept misquoting and mischaracterizing what I’d said, I was SO frustrated), I learned to not challenge and to give her a very wide berth. 😉 She also didn’t think much of Reformed believers as I recall.

    I don’t recall ever having pink shoes, unless you count those rubber flip-flops we’d buy as kids & teens at the drug store for under a dollar every summer.

    I quite buying them when a pair snapped on me while I was attending a rather full day of college classes for summer school (and the pavement was too hot to go barefoot).

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  110. KarenO, I agree with Cheryl. Even though you want/need to be in Forrest’s life, it does seem like the advantage is to Emily almost all of the time. If you choose to do so, that is fine, but it seems to be draining you and perhaps a discussion on making some changes is in order. I agree that when she’s out having fun (dating) she should definitely be paying for a sitter. I’m not sure if Emily is paid when she helps your husband, but that could be either in lieu of rent or babysitting if not, but she should be contributing a little more to the household in my opinion. I do appreciate your love and willingness to everything you can for your daughters and grandson.

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  111. So a friend and I are visiting another friend sometime this week — I’ve mentioned him here before, he’s got Parkinson’s and is in a rehab center apparently for good now. He’s in his late 70s maybe?

    But it’s very sad as he was such a talented writer & painter and now can do neither. He’d love a transcription machine (he can’t type or write), and I was looking at those online but would worry it might get stolen in the facility he’s in and they’re not cheap … Plus I’m not sure how easy they’d be for him to work, he really has become somewhat debilitated, has a hard time thinking of the right words, etc., as he talks.

    The mutual friend I’m going with said she’s bringing a bunch of snack-like goodies, I’m trying to decide what would be good to bring. Last time I just brought some magazines, I figured he could always pass those on to others at the place.

    Suggestions?

    He’s not a believer so of course I’m thinking maybe a large-print Bible. I’m not sure about his reading and comprehension, but I also thought of taking him a copy of “Unbroken.”

    If he’s not able to really read and concentrate at this point, maybe they could also be passed on to others …

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  114. I have seldom been as furious with someone as I was with Victoria over the above incident in my life. But, once I calmed down (several days), I wondered if my reaction was because she was a prophet and had picked up on something in me that I unknowingly was doing wrong.

    So, I went to the spiritual authorities in my life–my husband and in that particularly situation, the director of the PCC. R told me to ignore her. The PCC director asked me if “this woman has ever met you, because I have and she’s wrong.”

    Still, I decided to write that spiritual memoir to review and I’m glad I did. As I’ve indicated, it has been an encouragement to others and to me.

    So, I owe Victoria a thanks.

    I’m sure God is not done with her, or me, yet. Mumsee, of course, is right; iron sharpens iron.

    But sometimes people get burned or poked a little too hard. 🙂

    I’m going to do some editing on LGWL because I haven’t read it in awhile and I’ve improved in my writing. It will get to you when it does, though I may make an exception for Jo about to embark on a long flight–though I thought she said she had plenty to read.

    I don’t know. Punch drunk from entertaining adorable grandchildren yesterday (HOW do you keep up, Mumsee? I thought of you last night when I fell into bed exhausted), and then not sleeping last night (mind whirring from editing LGWL; three year old woke up three times, smoke detector chirping–my husband thinks he’s finally found the last one–cat yowling! God is good and worked through my weakness when I played clarinet second service, but I’m headed for a nap, very soon!)

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  115. Lee pays Emily for helping him, but can’t afford to pay her very much. She doesn’t make much money at all, but knows that he needs her right now, until he can eventually sell the route. But I have considered having her contribute to paying Chrissy for the times she’s on a date.

    She may not pay rent, but she contributes in other ways, such as doing most of the snow shoveling in the winter, & yard work in the summer, or other odd jobs Lee might ask her to do.

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  116. As I recall, because I am Southern I didn’t know anything about the South or how the slaves suffered and how awful the South was and deserved to be destroyed. I may even have been racist.
    Mostly I told Victoria that I would wait on Cheryl to come argue “our” case. Cheryl, you were much better at dealing with her than I was.
    Eventually I chose not to respond to anything Victoria posted or said. Somewhere I have an email saved that she sent to me some time in 2007 or early 2008. She was very kind in that email. I believe she had experienced something quite traumatic and it skewed her view of a lot of things. She was caustic and rigid. Like I said earlier, I hope she has found some happiness and learned to be more accepting of others.

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  118. Sounds like Victoria was very black and white about things (with some pink shoes thrown in on occasion). 😉 I don’t know if I would have ever come out of lurking if I had witnessed some of what was described about her! I was not accustomed to how ruthless internet interactions could get in those early days when I first became familiar with blogs. I think I would have beat a hasty retreat if she’d ever come down on me. I didn’t have much of a thick skin built up yet, but could get pretty fiery about certain things myself. Probably wouldn’t have been a good combination, she and I. 🙂

    Some of the descriptions of her remind me of one of my relatives — right about everything, and often feisty in her rightness. 😉 My husband has told me to simply not engage when this relative gets like that. That’s pretty much what most of us in the extended family do now — just let her “be that way.”

    Donna (4:35), is there an audio version (book-on-tape) of Unbroken that your friend could listen to? Or maybe the Bible on tape? Just a thought if reading may be an issue.

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  119. So, to finish, I hope…

    As I said, I was feeling happy & relaxed at the start of my four day mini-vacation. Then Emily reminded me of something she’d told me about a month previous, & I’d forgotten – since she didn’t have her Saturday clinical to go to, she & her cousin K had plans to get together Friday night. Emily would travel to the city K lives in, they’d go “nightclubbing” (something K does a lot), & Emily would be home sometime Saturday morning.

    My mood plummeted rapidly.

    After Emily went back upstairs, I was feeling angry & disappointed, trying to adjust my thoughts to babysitting overnight Friday (which I don’t feel comfortable with yet, as Forrest still wakes crying for his mommy when she’s not there), & feeling resentful. Then I realized, that especially with the lack of sleep I’d had last week, I just couldn’t do it, I wasn’t up to it.

    So, although it was hard for me to do it, I told Emily that she & K would have to make plans that include Forrest, that I could not babysit Friday night. (And I wasn’t going to call Chrissy & ask for her help, because I knew that she was happy to have the time off, too.)

    I’ll admit, I can be a bit of a doormat, but I was glad that I stood up for myself this time, & said no. And about a month ago, I told Emily that I do not want to do any extra babysitting during the two-week Christmas vacation she has from school (she’ll still be working with Lee a couple mornings each of those week).

    Sadly for Emily, K has her weekends “booked” several weeks in advance, so she couldn’t just switch gears & meet her on Saturday somewhere kid-friendly. It seems to me that K was “fitting Emily in” by having her come along on her Friday night “nightclubbing”, something she’d be doing anyway.

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  120. What Kim said — “I believe she had experienced something quite traumatic and it skewed her view of a lot of things” — I think may be a plausible explanation.

    Otherwise, it was just really odd & aggressive behavior at times that I never could understand. Exhausting — and not being face to face maybe made it more difficult to get a read on, I don’t know.

    6 arrows, I thought of that, too (audio books). Maybe I’ll need to visit to see what the set up is, I have visited before but it was shortly after he’d arrived there. It definitely helps to have another person go with me (and she said she’s got a “tower” of stuff to bring).

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  121. Ah, Victoria. I got bit by her caustic words a few times myself. But other times, she could be fun.

    As for Random, the last we heard of him, he had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, which could explain why his attitude was growing more & more caustic. Very sad. I think of him from time to time, & pray for him, his wife, their daughter & her partner, & their little girl.

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  122. I think Victoria had the option to return, it was some sort of temporary (3-week, 3-month?) suspension imposed by whoever was the WM moderator at the time who had received numerous complaints (and not the first time). But she never returned.

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  123. Good for you, standing up for yourself, Karen.

    Good point about considering that trauma or other factors in a person’s life can have a bearing on how a person behaves/reacts. We just don’t know everything there is to know about anyone’s situation or background.

    And the internet (and other forms of communication that aren’t face to face) can obscure things even more.

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  126. And Karen, I did catch that about your daughter. I was fairly certain she was cautious with her intake, but that is one of the effects of alcohol consumption for the new baby. What Six Arrows said could explain it as well but I still lean toward time with his dad. If he is as angry as you report, the child picks up on that and probably is the recipient at times. As mentioned, you and mom are the calming influence, even if you get angry on occasion and even blow up, it is not as constant as it appears with dad. You cannot stop the influence but you can add your own and that helps.

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  127. I also still think of Random and pray for him from time to time. I thought we were told of his diagnosis by somebody who saw it on his facebook page.

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  128. I was just thinking about Random when there was all that rain this week. Hope all is well for him and his family, but most importantly, that he came to know the Lord (or will).

    Michelle–I would love to read your memoir. I won’t get to it for a bit, but would love to have you send it.

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  129. Young women Emily’s age can be very self-centered. It is good you stood your ground, Karen. It helps her see your point of view and learn to consider your concerns more. I am sure this is a difficult time for all of you. This, too, shall pass….

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  131. You know Karen, I am never shy about telling you not to be a doormat especially when it comes to R and how he takes advantage and his craziness, but when it comes to Emily and Forrest, I am powerless. I don’t know what I would do if it were my daughter and my grandson. I would probably do whatever I could to help–probably to the point of enabling.

    Mr. P and I are headed to Austin the first week of January to take care of a Tiny Baby Girl while her Mommy is at a work conference. Mr. P is funny. He raised three boys but a little girl has him nervous about changing a diaper.

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  132. Kim, your comment reminded me of a time when Chuck was a tiny baby. Elvera and a friend, who had a baby girl, left me to baby sit both. When Chuck wet, I changed his diaper. When the women returned, they checked. The girl was sopping wet. I didn’t know she was wet. I checked the diapers, but it never occurred to me that girls wet their diapers in different places.
    I have since changed diapers for three granddaughters.
    I have changed my last diaper. (I hope)

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  133. Kim – Emily works so hard with her studies (she’s doing great!), her work with Lee, & the shoveling & yard work she does for us, & I understand she would like to have some sort of a social/dating life. So far, she has taken Forrest with her when she’s gotten together with a friend, or when she goes to a Mother-to-Mother group. But dating is a different thing, & she really likes this new guy, & he seems to really like her, too. He sounds like a great guy so far. I just wish there was someone else, like a father or other grandmother, who could be relied upon to take Forrest sometimes.

    R takes him every now & then, but these days that turns out to not even be once a week anymore. And R’s mom doesn’t want to babysit, & won’t allow R to have Forrest overnight. (Emily likes R’s mom, but said she thinks she makes decisions based on what she thinks is good for her, & if she thinks something will be too stressful, she just doesn’t do it.)

    So I will continue to be here for Emily & Forrest, & to seek some sort of middle ground for Emily’s dating life. At least she’s only seeing him every other week, not every week.

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  134. I just learned that 2nd Arrow passed her boards this weekend! I knew the tests were coming up, but didn’t know exactly when. She is now a Certified Veterinary Technician! Woohoo! 🙂

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  135. Chas, yes.
    By the way, I have to thank you for the Christmas gift you gave me. I know you sent it last year, but for some reason, the agency missed it. So late November of this year, they sent me an email that they had found this gift for me in my old account. So thank you very much, it is very helpful for me this year.
    6 Arrows, good for her. I remember how good it was to finally get my nursing registration.

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  139. Done with my Christmas letter! But another after-midnight night. Time for bed.

    BTW, well-done with your studies, too, Roscuro. And did I say I’ve been enjoying the Advent music and your comments preceding them that you’ve been posting? I am. 🙂

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