Who can we pray for today?
Psalm 143
1 Hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness.
2 And enter not into judgment with thy servant: for in thy sight shall no man living be justified.
3 For the enemy hath persecuted my soul; he hath smitten my life down to the ground; he hath made me to dwell in darkness, as those that have been long dead.
4 Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me; my heart within me is desolate.
5 I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands.
6 I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirsteth after thee, as a thirsty land. Selah.
7 Hear me speedily, O Lord: my spirit faileth: hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto them that go down into the pit.
8 Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.
9 Deliver me, O Lord, from mine enemies: I flee unto thee to hide me.
10 Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.
11 Quicken me, O Lord, for thy name’s sake: for thy righteousness’ sake bring my soul out of trouble.
12 And of thy mercy cut off mine enemies, and destroy all them that afflict my soul: for I am thy servant.
Wandering Views 
A more specific prayer for our bridge which continues to get worse. The information I was told tonight was that the bridge parts are in town and the land issues are resolved. We need to pray that the department with the funds would release them to the local public works department so that the work can go ahead. And that the funds will be used properly.
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Also we have our own clinic. The law changed two years ago and we are not allowed to import drugs without a special license. We have submitted all the paperwork and have had the inspection. Please pray that when the government board meets in September that they will look with favor upon our application and it will be approved.
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Prayers requested for my family-of-origin. Three of my siblings are still at the ranch and evidently things have been very tense. I’m glad I left when I did. BIL who is a surgeon is extremely concerned about my mom’s health. He is afraid she has lung cancer and has ordered some tests. They will not return to Africa if she tests positive for lung cancer, as he thinks it’s pretty advanced. We’ll see. Mom’s smoked since she was 13–so it’s a real possibility. I’d hate for her to suffer that way as it is an unpleasant way to go. Of course, there’s also a chance her symptoms are due solely to the vast quantities of bourbon she consumes every day. I’m so grateful to God that I didn’t marry or become an alcoholic. Statistically, I should have. She has told me numerous times that if she’s diagnosed with cancer, she will forego treatment. I don’t think her body could tolerate the treatment (i.e.: chemo) unless she stopped drinking. And, I don’t think she could stop drinking without medical intervention. And, I know she can’t stop drinking if she can’t admit she even has a problem. Thanks for your concern.
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I will remember your requests in prayer Jo…Lord please show favor upon your children when the decisions need to be made concerning this bridge and the medication approval…..we trust You with their care…
Ann I am so sorry to hear about the ongoing situation with your Mom….how thankful too we are that the Lord has protected your life….
I pray He will open the eyes of your Mom…that she will taste and see of His goodness and grasp hold of His plan for her life…even unto her last breath here on this earth….Dear Lord remove the scales from her eyes and her heart…that she might know of your deep love for her…..
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If you all could remember my two closest friends in prayer this week…
One friend is finally moving into a rental home…they have been in a hotel since June 11 after losing their home in the fire…my other friend who lost her home in the fire has been in a rental home and reality is hitting her hard….it seems as we approach the 2 month mark since the fires, the four closest friends of mine who lost their homes, are showing signs of stress, anxiety, loss, sadness….etc….it is so hard to know how to minister to their needs…a common thread seems to be their desire to isolate…I pray the Lord will show those of us who did not lose our home how to be His hands and feet in helping them through…..
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Thank you all for praying for my friend B. Finally the doctors and nurses listened to his wife and took him off one of the anti-seizure medications and put him on another. He is much more lucid and is awake and talking. He was supposed to be in court Thursday and another attorney is having to take over for him. He was able to discuss the case with the other attorney yesterday afternoon.
Because he did have seizures, state law is that he cannot drive for 6 months. While this is good news for his 16 year old step daugher ( she will be able to drive his car for 6 months) it isn’t good news for an independent 53 year old!
I would like some prayers as well as I start working on “building the good life” for my family.
Thanks!
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Prayers for us here at the Nest, please. Husband and the man who has the fifteen year old are taking our son in for psychological testing today. It is a long process so they will have to make many trips. With all the threats, husband does not want to sit in the front seat with son in the back, as he does not trust him at all. So he will probably let the other guy drive our car while he sits in the back and son sits in the front passenger seat. Prayer for peace for all and for an accurate assessment.
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Oh, and husband has another staph infection.
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Prayers said, Mumsee.
And for you, Kim, and your friend. Thanks, again, for all of your encouragement last week. It meant a lot to me.
And for your friends, Nancyjill. My house burned to the ground on Christmas Eve of my seventh-grade year. I was 13. Even though we lost no one, it was devastating. It took two years for my parents to rebuild. We lived in a 900 square foot guest house that was on the property during that time. Our original house was about 3500 sq. ft., so this was a big change. Suddenly, I could hear every word of their screaming fights, night after night. It was miserable. I was ecstatic when the new house was finally finished, by Thanksgiving of my ninth grade year. Unfortunately, by then the damage (of living in close quarters with a raging alcoholic) had been done. I’ve spent the last 30 years trying to undo that damage. So, what I’m trying to say is that I get how devastating it can be to lose one’s home. And, I’ll continue to remember them in my prayers. And to ask that you will know how to minister to them effectively during this difficult time.
Jo: Praying for your needs as well. May God bless you in the work you are doing.
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ANNMS, remeber you have been out from under your parent’s roof now for longer than you were under it. You have everything you need to cope.
I used to separate it in my mind that my “mother” was dead. The body of the woman my mother lived it was still alive. Mourn the loss. Have your own private funeral. Write a letter to her and go outside and burn it. Buy a beautiful plant just for yourself and spread the ashes from the burnt letter in the soil. Do whatever it is YOU need to do to lay the past to rest and move forward. The future is yours!
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Maybe I’m late to this discussion, Annms, but I found the book about Adult Children of Alcoholics very helpful to work through my issues with one of my parents. It took about six months of reading, thinking, praying and then releasing all the pent up bitterness. I had to forgive again and again, but I found that sometimes I had to ask forgiveness for my own attitude.
The scars will always be there, but I have a choice: to tear at them and watch them bleed over and over again, or to let them heal into tougher, though still tender, skin.
Because the Lord took me through those healing steps–and it was a lengthy process; when I started to feel sad, I let myself walk through the emotion and the memory and say, “I forgive, I forgive,” rather than pretend I didn’t care–I was in a much healthier spot when that family member went into decline.
The last seven years of that person’s life was a nightmare in many ways. Some of our family really struggled with anger and rejection during that time. But the Lord’s forgiveness of me and that person, work done several years before, enabled me to see that individual with different eyes. I could understand the “why” of the drinking better, and love that person better.
The death came ten years ago, I still mourn and miss the might have been as well as the good things. I know I was loved. That family member, however, didn’t know how to love emotionally–but the actions were there and I’m grateful.
Don’t let her go without you trying to make some peace with her–whether you see her again or not. Blessings
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Wise words, Michelle. We will never regret loving or forgiving too much, while still looking realistically at the situation. It is hard not to take personally behavior that comes from addictions and even certain medical conditions. It is so hard when you cannot change things as you would like them to be. At the same time, it can drive you closer to the Lord. At the end, you want to know you did your best before the Lord, no matter what the other person did. Not an easy place to be, but God didn’t call us to easy. It reminds me, again, of how much prayer we need to have for one another.
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Thanks, Michelle. I have thought that I’ve “made peace” with the reality of my upbringing before. But, I guess I haven’t. It’s hard to make peace when new wounds are inflicted during every visit. Alcoholism is an ugly disease.
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I’m always in good company with you, KI. 🙂
I’d like to come back to something else. It’s no surprise to God what family we’ve been born into. He knew what he was doing when he put me in the family he did all those years ago. The adventures and the agonies, the joys and the fun, all went into the person I am.
I have a choice. I can condemn God for making me into the pot I am, or I can embrace the pot I’ve been modeled into by circumstances and situations.
The fact I grew up with an alcoholic parent means I’m more careful about alcohol, among other things, but I’m also more sensitive, I hope, to others. I recognize people can’t control everything in their lives and maybe that’s why I gave up control of my life (ha! my husband would say) to Jesus all those years ago.
I wrote my parent a letter and told that parent all the things I appreciated. I thanked and blessed and gave my love. I did not shy away from the elements of my childhood that were difficult, but I acknowledged the wealth they brought into my life.
I understand far better now, that people are hurt and not everyone chooses a healthy way of dealing with that hurt. It’s been of immeasurable help for my work at Pregnancy Counseling Centers. It has informed my writing. It has shut my mouth at times when I would judge. And it’s left me with a heart that aches and eyes that tear up. But I had to embrace the hurt and the forgiveness.
Like the velveteen rabbit, I’d like to think it made me more real.
Blessings, again.
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It’s a process, Ann. Grief is a process. You are grieving.
You can think you’ve grieved something through and two years later get smacked in the face with it again. When I find myself getting angry at that long dead parent, I forgive again, and move forward.
I believe the concept of “closure” is a trap. People in our society want to move quickly to closure so they think everything will be over and their life can return to normal.
They want to escape the pain. Closure is the myth that tells them they’ll be done and the pain will be finished.
But life is not normal. It moves, morphs, changes, backtracks, stabs, rejoices and makes us into someone else. Scar tissues looks different. It’s stronger, but it can ache. We carry scars on our heart. Do we let them define us, or change us into someone God can use to his glory in a different setting?
I’ll probably get stabbed later today by a memory. 🙂 Life works like that. 🙂
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Annms, prayers for you and your family. How difficult this all must be. 😦
Another good biblical resource is the book “Addictions: A Banquet of the Grave” (Finding Hope in the Power of the Gospel) by Edward T. Welch — it speaks both to those suffering from addictions (and that’s addictions to anything, even deep-rooted attitudes that are sinful) but also to those who know and love those trapped in a particular bondage.
Welch challenges much of the conventional (secular) wisdom in the field with his more biblical focus and provides a much broader look at “addiction,” exploring how so many things in our lives can easily turn into idols that must be renounced for what they are — sin.
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Alcoholism has touched & damaged both sides of our family (Lee’s side & my side). My mother was the daughter of two alcoholics, but she never dealt with that. Her stories were always about “funny” things that happened – how “funny” it was that every Christmas her drunk father would somehow knock over the Christmas tree, or how “funny” it was the time her drunk mother threw a plate of spaghetti at her dad across the table, but it missed & slid down the wall. (Okay, that one is kind of funny, but I’m sure the drunkenness & anger that came with it weren’t so funny.)
As a result, & there may have been some abuse as well, she would not let herself trust anyone except my dad, not even God, & she was controlling & could be emotionally abusive. She may not have been an alcoholic herself, but she did “inherit” the “stinkin’ thinkin’ ” that goes along with alcoholism. So although I wasn’t the daughter of alcoholics directly, there was still “fall out”. (Many years ago, God helped me to deal with the pain my mom could inflict & to forgive her.)
Even as a Christian, my husband ended up following his dad’s lead into alcoholism & the “stinkin’ thinkin’ “. Thanks be to God that He delivered Lee from it, after a crisis that could have had terrible results.
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We try to remind our children that God knew what He was doing when He placed each one in his or her birth family. And He knew what He was doing when He placed them here. They have much to deal with but they have much to carry forward and help to offer others in traumatic situations. It is hard, but it is not impossible. Grief is important. It is also important to realize the problem is hers, not yours.
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I agree with Michelle about the myth of closure, & the stabs of memory.
Because Mom’s hurtful words & attitudes were an ongoing thing, I didn’t know how I could forgive her for real. So whenever I would be hurt, or remember an older hurt, I would pray, “With my will, & in the name of Jesus, I forgive her. Please help my heart to fully forgive.”
After a few years of doing that, one day, out of the blue, Mom told me that if there was anything from my childhood that she’d done to hurt me, to tell her, & that she was sorry for anything hurtful she may have done. I realized that I didn’t want to tell her anything specific, because I didn’t want to hurt her. Then I realized that forgiveness had worked its way from my will to my heart. Thanks be to God!
~~~~~~~
KIM – What do you mean by “building the good life” for your family? Financially? Spiritually?
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Karen, that last paragraph says so much. I got to that place, also. We may also be amazed at how quickly things can change in ways we never dreamed of. Forgiveness is really recognizing that God alone knows the heart of the one who hurt us and He will do what is best for them and us.
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Heavenly Father,
Thank You for healing grace and forgiving mercies. So often we are unaware of s what hurts others have experienced in their past. The nature of people is to not do right by others. It’s only through our successes at following the lead and Lordship of Christ that any of us a transcend that sinful nature. Thank You for making a way for us to forgive and move forward. I ask for You to help any here who are harboring hurts from long ago to put those hurts on a boat in the harbor and send them out to sea never to return. Free them from the pains of hurtful things that have been done by parents under the influence of alcohol or anything else. I pray for all the young people starting back to school to have good learning situations without bullying or any form of intimidation. Please help all to work out well with my son’s transition to a new university and teaching responsibilities.
Lord, please make an excellent outreach for the BGEA My Hope America . May many people hear the good news of Jesus and decide to follow Him.
I pray in the name of Jesus, Amen
Lord, I do lift up those mentioned who need healing in any form. I continue to lift up the needs of my cousins who desire to become parents.
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I am so thankful for the ‘easy’ upbringing I had. It wasn’t perfect but my folks both loved the Lord as did their parents and their parents… I appreciate those of you who share on here about the heartaches in your lives. It opens my eyes and hopefully I will judge other less and be more compassionate.
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Kare, reading the posts made it seem like my young life was easy in comparison although I was hurt by my father’s absence due to his commitment to serve in the Navy with his overseas and fsr from home duty. My mother was good but just a bit overwhelmed and did not drive so I did not get to do as much as some of my peers. That made me sad but it could have been so much worse.
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Thanks Karen O for suggesting copy and paste from email. I am on my phone doing this and have not mastered copy and paste yet on here. Once again a few words got misplaced in the above prayer.
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I have shared a lot through the years about my alcoholic mother. What I have also learned over the years is that no one is all good nor all bad. People just are who they are. We either have to accept them as they are or we have to decide that being in any type of relationship with them is too painful and walk away. I have walked away from several painful people, one on World Mag Blog. I simply did not respond to anything that person wrote. It was too painful.
I have shared the pain of my mother but thought I would share this. I think I have cleaned it up enough not to risk anyone else’s privacy. It recounts the experiences my mother’s first husband’s nephew had with her. He was very kind and gracious to me and now I am a part of their family story.
Kimberly,
I sincerely thank you for being open about your family. Now, I think
that I understand your interest in J. I already knew who you
were and had wondered why you were not mentioned in O’s obituary.
Are you also the Kimberly L. , I’ve seen associated with
O?
I knew your mother during the 1960 to 1966 timeframe when she was wed
to Uncle Jennings. During that time, I knew her as a sweet gentle
person who loved Uncle J greatly. She and Jennings lived in
the Wolf Ridge Subdivision in Mobile, AL on the next street over from
where J’s sister L lived. J’s brother,
also lived in Mobile off the beltway.
During the 1950’s, J resided with Aunt L and Uncle G. C.. I have memories of visiting then in 1952 in Mobile and
J was living with them at the time. I do not remember
anything about your mother from that time that was negative. O,
J, L and family, were big church goers and attended a big
Baptist Church up highway 98.
The best example that I can give of O at that time is to relate
the following.
In 1965, I wed my 1st wife while attending the University of
Mississippi. We were the proverbial starving college
students. No big wedding. Just she and I, the preacher and a
one-legged Marine and his wife. I had been discharged from the Navy
several years before and we were really struggling. Our honeymoon
consisted of a borrowed VW bus, $65.00 and a one night reservation at
a Motel in Mobile. After our 1 night honeymoon, we looked for
something to do before returning to college. Aunt L had always
been my most favored aunt so we gave her a call and went to see them.
When we got there, O and J were there as well. O was
a surprise for I had been in the Navy at the time of their marriage
and didn’t know that J even had a wife.
J and O had just purchased a new home the next street over
from Aunt L. When she heard that my wife and I had only a 1 night
honeymoon, she insisted that she and J turn over their home to
us for the weekend. When our visit was over, they gave me the
keys to her new home and she and J stayed with Aunt L.
There had been a Shrimp Jubilee ( massive catch) that weekend and 16
count shrimp were selling for 9 cents a pound. I bought a cooler
full. I prepared the shrimp on Saturday night and invited the
rest of the Mobile family over.
The next morning, everyone
and we all carpooled to the
Baptist Church which they all belonged to.
That is my single most outstanding memory of O. She was willing
to turn over her new home to her husband’s nephew and his bride so
that they had a honeymoon which was more than one night in a cheap
motel. Whatever else life brought on her later, that’s what I
remember about your Mom and that’s how I choose to remember her.
The next time that I saw O was the day of J’s death. I’ve
had no contact with her subsequent to that date. Some family members
have had contact but I do not know if it was favorable or not
favorable.
I’ll send a few photo’s of J and some written memory of the day
of his’ death that I wrote back in the 1980 timeframe
If you have photographs I would
love to have copies of them as well.
I am most interested in photographs of Aunt O.
I am most interested in
one of O alone. Young or old, it doesn’t matter. I want to
remember her as I knew her in the 1960’s
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Thanks to everyone who has shared on here today.
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Heavenly Father,
It has been on my heart to keep praying over the needs Jo mentioned today about the funding for the bridge being released for the purpose ig was set aside. Please, Lord, I pray the funding will not be swindled away by any devious. Opportunists. I pray you will keep the needed funds in the proper place, secure at all times. Also I pray that the meeting in September wil make a way for the licensing to go through for the clinic to import prescription meds.
Thank You, Father God for listening to our concerns that linger on our minds until there is a reasonable solution. We need a quick remedy on this so supplies can be received without delay. Please relieve anxiety about how You will supply needs. Please giveYour children faith to recognize You will make a way to provide no matter what.
In the blessed name of Jesus, I pray, Amen
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Heavenly Father,
It has been on my heart to keep praying over the needs Jo mentioned today about the funding for the bridge being released for the purpose ig was set aside. Please, Lord, I pray the funding will not be swindled away by any devious. Opportunists. I pray you will keep the needed funds in the proper place, secure at all times. Also I pray that the meeting in September wil make a way for the licensing to go through for the clinic to import prescription meds.
Thank You, Father God for listening to our concerns that linger on our minds until there is a reasonable solution. We need a quick remedy on this so supplies can be received without delay. Please relieve anxiety about how You will supply needs. Please giveYour children faith to recognize You will make a way to provide no matter what.
In the blessed name of Jesus, I pray, Amen
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Thank you ladies, for being such an encouragement to one another. You are a very wise bunch. I’ve shared many of these experiences with you, and even followed into it myself for years. Thankfully that’s not been the case for a long time for myself or my Dad, but even now some of what went on then is hard to get beyond. But with God, and wise counsel, it can be done. Again, thank you ladies. 🙂
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Thanks for the prayers Janice. Things here can go along for a long time, so prayers are appreciated.
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