53 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 10-15-19

  1. I worked and worked to get thank you notes done to send with someone leaving tomorrow. Had them all stamped and in a ziplock. Then she said that she is not taking mail. I responded with an okay, but I was shocked. I always take mail for anyone, especially if it is stamped. Now to find someone else who may be going.


  2. Thanx for reminding us Kim.
    You are up mighty early for your time zone.
    Last night was different. She wanted to get into the car and go home. That went on for almost an hour. But once in bed, she was ok.
    It seems that its something every night. Everything is fine during the day.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good morning. Eighteen continues to decline. Twenty two and I went to the preg center for class, took a good walk through the town, then went to the labor and delivery class in the evening. Late night for me. We do that or similar again next week.

    But now it will be back to dealing with eighteen. I just need to remember that she is crazy and does not understand anything. Husband was taking her to her doc appt yesterday, and she refused to get the gate for him. Bizarre.


  4. We have a gate across our driveway to keep the neighbor’s mules out. Our five acres is fenced with eight foot deer fence but the driveway just has a gate that needs to be opened for the truck and then closed. With Mike’s arthritis, it is difficult for him to climb in and out, and with the cow damage to the truck, he can’t open the driver’s door anyway. Generally, the children race to be the first to open the gate. The other two had opened it and begun walking to be picked up later. She needed to close the gate when Mike went through. Would not do it. Instead, she just walked up the road. If it had not been her doctor appt for follow up for the psych ward, he probably would not have taken her.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Peter L, what are the tie breaker options? I need to choose very carefully, as I do all my pigskin picks. Oregon vs Washington? Isn’t that twelve and twenty five?


  6. Such patience you both need, mumsee and Chas!

    That sounds like a pretty normal scenario with Alzheimer’s, Chas. Do you have medicine you can use to calm her down at all?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Isn’t it called “Sundowners?” Alzheimer’s patients tend to get jittery as the sun goes down? A dear friend dealt with this for years and did give her dad a dose of medicine at dusk to help them get through the evening and sleep.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I love the look of those mushrooms/outcroppings whatever they’re called on the tree in the photo.

    Isn’t it so interesting how God “reuses” the same “visual” in nature? To spend any time with the rock cliffs in the desert southwest is to see similarities between other aspects of nature.

    So those “stairsteps,” in a sense look like slate outcroppings.

    Or elf steps if you’re into fairy tales. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Trip to Indiana is falling into place very nicely. (And why not? Isn’t the Lord directing this one?)

    OMS contacted me and said they’d like to put together dinners for us with retired OMS missionaries while we’re in IN. That is beyond kind and is PERFECT.

    I specifically asked to have “older” people feed us and the secretary laughed, “There’s no shortage of older people around here.”

    This way I can interview them while we eat. I’d wondered how to find opportunities to talk with missionaries.

    Cat and I are going to take a break on the weekend and head to Louisville for a day and a half. After 5.5 days of heavy archival work, we’ll need a break halfway through. One of my Mrs. OC friends is throwing a luncheon in my honor with at least one very famous author eager to come.

    The Chambers duo have enriched my life in so many ways. I’ve been the recipient of blessing upon blessing and I’m grateful.

    Still waiting to hear back from a Navy wife pal in Louisville and then I can nail down my visit with Cheryl!

    After that, I just need to get prepped for the actual work.

    Physical, mental and emotional. I’ll need prayer support the last week of October and first week of November. Fortunately, people are already volunteering!

    The Lord is good.

    But you already knew that.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Morning! Teary eyed upon reading your 10:19 post Chas…oh the depth of your love for your bride. An inspiration for us all my friend ❤️
    My father in law would become slightly agitated during the evening hours. Sitting in his recliner and listening to his favorite hymns on the stereo would soothe his spirit. But then again he was in the same familiar surroundings in which he had lived for many years. Praying for you two continually Chas….

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This may not sound like a big deal to many of you, but it kind of was to me. Hubby was always the one who handled setting up appointments for various kinds of repairmen or technicians to come fix whatever needed fixing that he couldn’t do on his own. Very often, he would make the appointments for on his day off, so that he could be here to deal with the repairman/technician.

    With our computer matters, I knew that eventually I was going to want to have Hubby’s desktop fixed (we couldn’t even use it anymore, although it is relatively new) and that some other computer problem may crop up. When our router died (we were told a couple years ago that we would need a new one “soon”), I knew who I needed to get in touch with, and I did so. And I handled the decision of what router to get (at his suggestion), and dealing with him when he came to the house.

    Again, this may seem like a small thing to many of you – something you do routinely – but for me it was kind of a big deal, and afterwards I felt a little proud of myself for handling it.

    Another little thing – I also figured out how to put in the new wi-fi password on my smart TV without asking anyone for help. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  12. Big thing to me, Kizzie. Good that you are stepping up to it though. And good that he set it up in such a way, with his example, for you to know how.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Kizzie, I get why it’s a big deal. I had to deal with repairmen on my own in my single days, and I was blessed beyond measure when church folks voluntarily did work around my house (like replacing a new water heater). It is one of the blessings about being married that I appreciate most, that my husband has computer savvy and he also is the one to deal with repairmen. My sister also found it difficult to go back to making decisions of the sort her husband would have made, or that they would have made together (but she, being a wife who basically believed in husbands making all decisions unilaterally, probably didn’t really even participate much in decisions like purchasing new home appliances, which would have made it that much more difficult when it became solely her decision).

    Liked by 2 people

  14. But in the days before the man came out (we had to wait for the router he ordered to be delivered), I had to work hard on cleaning up the desks. (Hubby’s stuff strayed over onto my desk, too.) I had not yet touched all the junk and papers and files and whatnot that he had on the desks. It was a monumental task, believe me! I was planning on getting to it very soon, but this forced me to speed up the process.

    After everything was cleared away, with most of it now irrelevant and so thrown away or shredded, and I had dusted and sparsely “re-decorated” the desks, I stood back and was amazed – and pleased – at the incredible transformation.

    But then another thought struck me in the heart – I felt as if what I had done was in effect erasing Hubby. All those files and papers and such that are now irrelevant were once important to him, part of his life.That feeling still lingers a bit, in between the feelings of satisfaction on a job very well done, and the relief of having it over and done with.

    (While I was at it, I also got around to cleaning off the top of his dresser, which was also pretty messy, and then decided to rearrange the stuff on the top of my own dresser.)

    Liked by 2 people

  15. My 11:31 starts with “But” because it was supposed to be an extension of my previous comment, but then I was delayed in finishing it.

    I’m also pleased with myself that I found this technician on my own, that he was not somebody Hubby was familiar with. I liked that he did in-home servicing, and had good reviews.

    Forgot to mention that he was also able to take away the old desktop computer that was on my desk and didn’t work anymore. That freed up my desk, and also got the hard drive out from under the desk.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Good job, Kizzie.

    It’s a chilly morning here, I still need to clean out the heavy iron floor grate undercarriage and put in a new filter before I can turn the heater on this year. Maybe I can get to that on Saturday. I usually can hold off turning the heater on until sometime in November, though.

    Coffee may help in the meantime.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I was on “Vacay” (County Jail) for 9 months and 17 days from October ’18 through halfway through July ’19 on a charge that was dropped because “…we don’t have enough evidence to convict.” (Then why did you have enough evidence to put me in in the first place?)

    My wife was upset by the whole thing. I was looking at 25 years to Life for something I didn’t do. I had handled our rental house and our apartment rentals forever. She had no idea of what to do or how to handle it all. Today is the last day to do taxes for 2018. I haven’t even found the receipts for 2018!! Last week I finally saw her face without those dark circles under her eyes. Stress! And of course the Devil and his minions have been hard at work on all involved and even those not involved.

    Yes, I see God’s hand in the whole thing. Yes, I grew in my faith. Did she? I don’t know. I suppose I should ask.

    All I can say is have your business affairs in order and your passwords written down in the same way along with written instructions on what needs to be done and when.

    Liked by 6 people

  18. Bob – That’s terrible! I’m glad they finally dropped the charges.

    Since my husband died two years ago, I have been so grateful that just a couple months before his unexpected death, he finally got around to compiling his various passwords for me, and put the life insurance info in an easy-to-remember-and-find place. He also talked me through doing a bit with the online banking that I was totally unfamiliar with – just enough to get my feet wet and be able to continue with it after his death.


  19. I have my new glasses, and they are not greatly improving my vision. I am able to wear them without a headache so far. They fit well. Time will tell if they will help me pass the driver’s license exam. I still may be destined to get an adult tricycle for Christmas. My friend who is almost 90 took me to get the glasses and then we went to Sprouts. I am so thankful to her for carting me around. It’s really difficult with my brother’s car not working.

    Liked by 3 people

  20. Hi Mumsee,

    In 2013 Mary Anne won her division at the National Cage Bird Show. She got the Best Domestic Hartz canary in the country. In 2014 there was a giant snowstorm in Buffalo that stopped domestic flights. She was unable to send her birds to the show. She didn’t win in 2015, or 2016 but 2017 was another story. The National changed the Divisions so that the two American birds, the Columbus and the Hartz were now in the American Division. Her bird won again! There was one problem, She had gotten so busy that she hadn’t put leg bands on all her babies (or the bands had fallen off some of them.). So, of course, the winner was one of those birds with out a leg band. That means she couldn’t get the trophy or prize.

    Last year was a very bad year for her. She couldn’t concentrate enough to do a good job with her birdies. Lots of them may not be banded this year. She hasn’t had the time to even look at them. We will look at them soon when she gets ready to go to the Portland show.

    It is nice of you to remember.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I was concerned about her when you last alluded to your vacay. I know how hard it was on me when Mike was falsely accused and separated from the family. The ability to more than function is gone. Kim knows that, she came to my rescue.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. ^ @ 2:40 Thanks a lot. I didn’t know that was a prevalent problem. I thought she was the only one in the world who wanted to “Go home”. But as for the solution, I can handle her ok so far. It takes about an hour, little more, to get her in bed. Then everything is OK unless she gets up again. Which often happens. Then we go through it again.
    It must be a terrible experience for her.



  23. The suggestions on 6 Arrows link were really interesting, thought, and some were counter intuitive.

    And, I know this will sound odd, but Cowboy, my dog, is going through a bit of old-dog dementia currently and he is very restless and anxious especially at night (he is much better in the daytime). I had another dog who went through this years ago so I’m somewhat familiar with it and remembered the diagnosis from before. Who knew that animals also can get dementia?

    But applying some of what 6 Arrows’ link said, I think maybe I need to try to pet and reassure him more in the evenings to try to settle him down before bed (his hearing is mostly gone, but I still talk to him, because who really knows, right?). I may also ask the vet for another medication for evening time to help him sleep. He’s on 3 mg of Melatonin now but he still will pace through the house for long periods on some nights.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I hadn’t thought about the possibility of dementia in animals. Nor did I realize dogs can be given melatonin.

    About the article link I posted above: I also read the article linked at the bottom of the page that was about “therapeutic fibbing.” I’m not 100% sure how I feel about that. The article did have good contrasts illustrated between employing raw honesty (they labeled it “being completely truthful”) and using therapeutic fibbing.


    I agree that some things are better left unsaid: “You don’t have a job. You retired 20 years ago.” But I don’t know that I could outright go the fibbing route, playing along in the way they suggested: “That’s right, I almost forgot [that you have to go to work]…”

    A difficult situation to be in, for both the caregiver and the dementia sufferer.


  25. I like the article’s notion of “stepping into their reality”. Even without the fibbing, though, they gave good examples of distracting and redirecting them instead of contradicting them.


  26. I don’t think we ever fibbed to Mary, but we did sometimes have to be sneaky. She would wear the same clothes day after day, thinking she had only worn them once, so another day wouldn’t matter. So when she had worn an outfit for a couple days, I would sneak into her bathroom, where she would have laid them out for the next day, and replace the clothes with a different outfit.

    I also had to go through her purse at least once a week, and look in drawers in her room, as she would hide food. It’s not that she was afraid of going without, but that she didn’t want to eat much, so she would stash away what she didn’t eat.

    We also had to eavesdrop on her with a baby monitor because she wouldn’t tell us what she needed. She would sit in her room and complain (she talked to herself a lot) about what idiots (actually worse words were used) we (mostly me) were for not knowing that she needed help or whatnot.


  27. Well done, Kizzie, with all those details you described above.

    My husband and I have different areas of home management where it’s either one or the other that takes care of it. For instance, most of the paperwork-type things I do, and most of the repair/maintenance of operating systems, appliances, etc. he takes care of.

    He does try to educate me on things like, if this is ever happening (with, say, the furnace, or the water heater, or water softener, or septic), then do this… It makes sense when he’s explaining it, but do you think I ever remember what it is I’m supposed to do when X, Y, or Z happens?


    It’s too easy a crutch for me to just call him at work when something with one of those systems I don’t understand seems to be not working correctly. He’s only 10 minutes away while at work, and pretty much free to come and go as he pleases there, so I rely on him in a pinch.

    I should really write down everything he tells me about those what-to-do-ifs…

    I also need to get more of my end of the household (paper/online) management written down for others. And for sure get my music business contacts in a more accessible place that my family knows about, in case they’d ever need to contact my piano families, rehearsal directors, district auditions co-chairs, piano concert organizer, etc. for me.

    My homeschool business is pretty well documented, and my graduated daughters living at home would have no problem jumping into that. Though I should make accessible the website information where I need to register our homeschool each year.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. 6 Arrows, I didn’t read that second article, but I think situations like that can be handled without lying. For instance, think of it as role playing, moving into the person’s world: “What clothes do you want to wear to work? Do you want me to pack you a lunch?”

    Our nurse-in-training daughter was here for a few hours Sunday, and she expressed concern that my mother-in-law’s blood pressure might be too high. My sister-in-law usually goes with Mom for doctor visits, but she isn’t sure if anyone is really aware of Mom’s blood pressure, and things Mom has said have suggested to her that it’s high. So I suggested that she tell Mom it would be good for her (our daughter) in her nursing training if she could take Mom to an appointment or two. That wouldn’t be a lie–it actually is the kind of experience that could be useful to her–though of course it isn’t “the whole truth” or the most important reason. But sometimes the direct route won’t work, and an indirect route doesn’t have to be a lie.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. I wrote that last post earlier but it wouldn’t post when I wrote it. Some of what I mentioned has been more or less said by others . . .


  30. Thanks, Cheryl, 3:18 am. That makes sense. Thanks also for your earlier commentaries, Kevin and Kizzie, at 10:05 pm and 10:14 pm, respectively. I hadn’t seen those comments at the time I’d started typing my 10:19 pm. (My first sentence of 10:19, “Well done, Kizzie, with all those details you described above” referred to your posts in the 11:00 am hour, Kizzie.)

    Just thought I’d clarify that, though I may have just made things more convoluted than ever. 😛


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