105 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 6-2-18”

  2. Maybe you should just make the rest of the yard different pavers so there are trails with some raised beds in between. With all the animals no ground cover will work.

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  5. Morning! Now that is a sight that would brighten anyone’s day for certain. My Mom has a row of lilacs bordering her side yard and they were all started with a cutting from my Grandmother’s bushes. Truly lovely…..
    It is going to be cooler here today….hurray! The past couple days have been in the high 80’s and very windy…oh and that pine pollen….runny, sneezy, itchy, watery….you get the picture!! 😂

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  6. Just got back from the high school concert. Instead of concert they truly put on a show with numbers from many musicals, most from the Greatest Showman. What a joy to see those young people perform.

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  8. Sounds like a great event, Jo.

    That sure is a pretty header!

    Good evening and morning, all. My “high school piano student,” as I tend to refer to her, is actually now a high school graduate. I’m going to her grad party this afternoon, at a park about a half-hour’s drive away for me. Rain is predicted for my area, but not thunderstorms, like had been predicted earlier this week for today. I don’t know about her area.

    In any case, I’m hoping the weather doesn’t get nasty for her party.

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  9. I get periodic emails from a duo in the UK who call themselves The Curious Piano Teachers. They write enjoyable and useful articles for piano teachers, and occasionally include links to other articles of interest.

    This morning in my email from them, I found a link to an article written about women using the word “just.” It reminded me of Linda’s comment (I think it was hers) a while back about how distracting or annoying it can be to hear preachers frequently using “just” in their prayers:

    “Lord, we just want to thank and praise you…” “Lord, we just ask you to…” Etc.

    So I found this linked article in my email interesting to read, though it’s not about praying. It got me wondering if I don’t often use “just” in a similar manner as the article states, in a soft, roundabout way rather than simply stating directly what I’m about to say.

    https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-business/11721427/Women-do-need-to-man-up-and-stop-using-the-word-just.html

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  13. DJ (from last night), it probably is smart to distract cats from your furniture with their own.

    My husband and I have an even more foolproof way of keeping cats off our furniture! (And Mumsee has a different one.)

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  14. I don’t know, Six, I hear a lot of males using that word. Probably at least as many as women. It is something I have tried to adjust to hearing as it can be quite distracting to find oneself counting “just”s when somebody is praying and one is supposed to be praying alongside.

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  16. I can handle just. My pet peeve is how many times they pray-er calls on God.
    Dear Lord, we just ask you to be with Kim. Father, You know what Kim has on her mind, God, and we just ask You to comfort her Lord, that she may know that You, God are in control, Lord. God, we all know You are the Father, Lord, and we ask you to bless us in Jesus’ name we pray, Lord, Amen.
    Now, how about if I were speaking with one of you or asking one of you do do a favor for me?

    Kim, honey, you know what I am going through, and Kim, I need to ask you to help me. Hey! KIM!!!! Are you paying attention to me here???? Kim, Kim, Kim.

    I know how irritating this can be from personal experience. I once had a massage where the massage therapist called me Karen. I didn’t correct her and she continued to call me Karen throughout the entire massage. “Is this OK, Karen?” I am going to do this Karen.” Karen, Karen, Karen. I was more tense by the END of the massage than I was BEFORE the massage.

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  17. Kim, I would find that irritating, too, to have my name be used over and over in one conversation.

    Speaking of “just” used excessively in prayers, there are only two people I know who have said “just” repeatedly while praying: a lady at church, and a male relative. So the women aren’t ahead of the men in that particular context, in my experience.

    The author of the article I linked was referring to her experience in the corporate environment, though. Perhaps the numbers of men using “just” compared to women’s use of the term differs more widely than in general communication outside of workplaces or business discussions.

    Using “just” in those cases, both in the workplace and even in prayers, does seem, to me, to be rather hesitant.

    I think the word “just” is fine when referring to time: “I just got back…” Or when it refers to justice: “The judge’s sentence was fair and just.” Usages like that.

    Interesting, the way words are used, and how they can mean or imply different things in different circumstances.

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  19. By this, I don’t actually mean to criticize my fellow believers in their conversation with God, but rather to look at my own prayers and try to cut out any excess that might be distracting to others. I suspect God is happy to hear from me when I come through the door, but I should not be distracting others from their conversation with Him, directing their thoughts to me.

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  20. I just want to say, fellow Wanderers, that you just have realize, friends, that impromptu prayers that have a lot of references to “Lord” in them are just okay, Wanderers. Just read the Psalms, which are often titled “Prayers of David” or whichever author.

    Just sayin’.

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  21. Six, Kim, et. al.
    I told you this before, but the first thing the preaching professor tells you is to delete “verbal pauses” (“you know” “Just” “er” “umm” etc.) from your speaking.
    But minor things irritate me. There is an ad on local radio that misuses “even” . (“We can locate your problem, even fix it….”)

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  22. Grandpa is down for his morning nap. Miss M? She really isn’t interested in a nap. Oh, she will close her eyes and “cat-nap” as long as I will rock her. 😉
    Right now we are trying out the automatic bouncer seat that has soothing sounds.

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  23. It could be said that that article is telling women to be more like men. Maybe it is natural for women to soften their language? I don’t know; just a thought. 🙂

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  25. Grandson number three just had his first time in the bouncy. Looked like he was enjoying it. Or at least the sounds on the video sounded like it.

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  26. Ah, and this is perhaps why praying out loud becomes intimidating for many people?

    Karen not Kim, that’s a funny story.

    Bougainvillea is correct. I love that plant but it is/was the thing that helped hasten the demise of my former back fence. It became so gnarly that it pushed through a couple of the planks and was covering much of the back corner of the fence altogether. The back neighbors have promised to keep it better trimmed — my guys had to really go at it with a chain saw on my side just to get to the fence line to tear the old fence out and put the new one in.

    That said, I do love the look of all those beautiful, bright flowering blooms tumbling upward. I have a similar plant in the front but it’s been kept trimmed very small ever since that, too, became too big (I still remember being out there having to chop away at it one weekend, with my neighbors graciously helping. Those thorns are horrible on those things).

    Anyway, it has no blooms now so I bought some special product to use at the base that’s suppose to bring the flowers back. Does no good to have a bougainvillea, big or small, it if never flowers!

    The stuff grows wild throughout the wilder areas of our peninsula, it just explodes across the hillsides and it is so beautiful!

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  27. Hey, I think I’ve had workers who were able to locate a problem but then were not able to fix it. LOL.

    I’m picking Carol up today for her birthday lunch, we were supposed to go to one of those amazon kiosks at the mall where she was determined to buy herself a new t-tablet for her birthday gift ‘to herself’ but her check didn’t arrive yesterday so that’s off (I was going to buy her a gift card to help load it as my part of her birthday gift this year; but buying the tablets, for which she has an insatiable appetite every time a “new” and improved one comes out, was on her).

    The man from church who looks out for her sometimes also is coming tomorrow morning to take her to services (this is her former church in Downey, so it’s a bit of a commute). I told her we’d have to take it somewhat easy today as I don’t want her to wear her legs out too much and not be able to go tomorrow. She rarely goes to church now, Hollywood Presbyterian is just around the corner from her but even that is a bit of walk for her and we can’t seem to find someone who would give her a ride weekly, so it’s important she makes it when she can.

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  28. “Just” stopped by to say our modem got blown so no internet here at the office, and it happened just when my mobile speed dropped to low until the 19th. Just GRrrr is all I have to say.

    I found a Purse Pouch for the car on sale at Dollar General. I know it sounds like something just for the ladies, but a reliable source told me that officers of the peace use such things in patrol car for clipboards and other official items. It’s just the cat’s PJs if you have need of such a thing to help keep organized in the car. I am thinking it would keep snacks handy, too, for road trips. You just need to get one!

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  30. What is a t-tablet?

    Karen, err, Kim, loved your story. My husband had a technician trying to put in an IV, who kept calling him by the wrong name very loudly. My husband is not deaf, although, I sometimes accuse him of it. The tech did screw up the IV and we had to have it corrected by someone else. Hopefully, he has improved in the months since then.

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  31. I once edited a book by two people who thought themselves famous, though I had never heard of them. They used “just” in nearly every sentence, enough so that I did the nifty little trick of searching for that specific word and determining with each use whether to keep it. I kept about one in three uses–the ones that were grammatically correct, and a few of the others just to keep from being too aggressive in my editing.

    The in-house editor praised my editing.

    Then it got sent to the authors, and they were appalled. They specifically mentioned my deletion of most of their uses of “just.” (I think they said I had removed all of them, but I hadn’t. Just two-thirds.) They said that the use of “just” was part of their style. (The in-house editor and I both rolled our eyes over that one.)

    As I recall, the editor was talking about reverting to the manuscript that they sent and publishing a totally unedited work and letting it fall on them that it needed editing. Whether she did so or not, I have no idea. All I cared at that point was that I got paid (and I did).

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  32. The younger generation coming up is the group that uses ‘just’ too much, the way my generation overused ‘like’. The funny thing is that the two words are now combined, so that both are equally overused. The vernacular of the current teen group tends to sound something like this when they are telling their emotional reaction to something (the punctuation is deliberate, the only way to convey the sense of an exclamatory remark that also manages to trail off into thin air): “Then I was just like!…”

    My siblings and I fought as hard as we could against the ‘like’ trend. But, we found, when speaking to our peers, we were more likely to be understood and accepted if we dropped into their vernacular. So, I find myself using ‘like’ more often than I would like to, but I do find the added ‘just’ of the next generation to be slightly grating on the ears. Sigh… I’m critical of a trait of the next generation, which means I must be getting old.

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  33. Good morning! Miguel and grandson got in about 2 am. I got up to sleep in the recliner so I could sleep at 05:30. Grandson was already up and outdoors to see the critters and be free. We are off to the park later for free fishing and hamburgers. My friend and her family will put on the music. Should be fun.

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  34. Grandpa and Miss M are headed to the Mama.
    Today is one year since my friend Bob died. His wife, my best friend, is doing well. She says she isn’t one to mark anniversaries like this. Another friend has insisted she not be alone today. If am off in a little while to run interference list “Betty” get too morose. She can cry more than the widow ever did.

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  35. I have noticed that I rarely speak someone’s name when I’m addressing them. I rely much more on non-verbal cues to signal to a person that I’m speaking to them. I deliberately speak a patient’s name when first addressing them, just so I can assess if they recognize and respond to their name, but no patient will ever be annoyed by how many times I say their name.

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  36. Don Sandoval has an exhibit at the Art Center. While “Indian” blanket wall hangings are not my thing and I certainly do no feel the need to have one hanging in my house, these are amazing. I talked to the artist last night. The way he weaves and the way he uses woods and flowers to dye the yarn is amazing. When you look at the link the one with the stars that is purple and pink reminded me of a quilt top from a quilt my grandmother and great aunt made. I commented on it and he told me that it DID come from a quilt pattern. The settlers from the East brought quilts with them and the native people liked the pattern and adopted it. It is for sale for $1,125 and he has donated all proceeds to the art center as a gift from the artist.
    I thanked his for taking the time to tell me about it and told him he had given me an appreciation for it it.
    https://esartcenter.org/visit/exhibits/current/

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  37. I remember watching an antique roadshow episode (one of the few I’ve ever seen, actually) where a man brought in an old Navajo blanket that had been on their ranch for ages, one of those old blankets used for everything through the years as it was passed down in the family. They’d never thought anything of it. But it was the star of the show as it was worth something like a gazillion+ dollars (rounded off) and he was stunned and speechless at the gasp-worthy amount. And seeing his reaction was priceless.

    A t-tablet is something made up by auto correct. It is really an e-tablet. Thing is, they’re constantly coming out with new renditions of these and it’s impossible to keep up with every new gadget. They’re meant to last several years and they do, quite well (although last one I bought Carol for a Christmas present was broken within 6 months which is part of the reason I somewhat banned specific and expensive gift requests from her).

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  38. Kim – Being alone may be exactly what your best friend needs. It would be for me, other than some time spent with my daughters.

    As you know, we all process life situations differently. For some, being surrounded by supportive friends could be what they need and want, but others, like myself, would rather be alone to grieve in private. It is probably best to ask her which she would prefer, and make it clear that either answer – or something in-between – is absolutely fine.

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  39. There is so much focus put on how hard the “firsts” of the first year without the loved one are that I am wondering if people think the grief is pretty much dealt with and mostly over as the next year begins. I cannot imagine that things are going to magically feel better four months and one day from now. I do realize that this grief will abate, but it will do so slowly.

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  40. Yes, it was me who first mentioned the overuse of “just” in prayers. I’m the Board Secretary for the small Christian school the girls attended and when I note the opening and closing prayers in the minutes, it’s all I can do to not say, “The meeting was closed at 10:00 p.m. with a 9-just prayer.” Unfortunately there are a lot of Gods, Fathers, and Lords in those prayers, too.

    Hubby and I do jigsaw puzzles over the winter and the first thing I though when I saw today’s picture was that it looks like one of our puzzles.

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  41. Kizzie, my friend would prefer to be alone or not focus on it. I spoke with her a little while ago and she said she had been to her parents house and no one mentioned it. She said, “We just aren’t those kind of people”. The only reason I am going is another friend had INSISTED she not be alone and wants to spend time with her. My friend has asked me to be there so she can put a time limit on it and not let this friend start crying and carrying on.

    I go out to lunch with my stepmother most June 10th’s or 11th’s. Her birthday is June 10th and Daddy died June 11th. The first year I called to ask what she wanted to do for her birthday, she chose to go out on the 11th and us just be together. In 2016 I was with Michelle and traveling those two days. In 2017 my stepmother was in South Florida. This year I will be at a training in New Orleans.
    The first Thanksgiving after my father died, I was more alone than I had ever been in my life. I called all my friends and told them I needed them and I was doing Thanksgiving at my house. My aunt and cousin came, 4 of my friends came and brought their children, my exhusband and ex mother in law came, and my nephew came. After that I was fine. I would rather remember my dad on his birthday than on the day he died.

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  42. Kizzie, I don’t think most people who have grieved think that the grief is over and done with after the first year, but that his first birthday, anniversary, etc. are uniquely difficult and that the “first” ones won’t come again. My sister said someone told her the second year is harder than the first (because people expect you to be largely “over it”), but that’s the only time I’ve ever heard that.

    In my experience, many people expect you to be over it in about two months, but those who have gone through grief know better.

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  43. We have been working at putting the chicken wire on the chicken house the boy sixteen year old and husband built. Husband is embarrassed by the product workmanship but son is rather proud of it so it is all good.

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  44. It was the first time in years husband has made his stay home to work on a project. The others did it all the time but this is really his first project here in six years. Making progress. slowly.

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  45. Kim – I’m sorry if it sounded like I was referring to you. I really was thinking of the other woman you mentioned, who is insisting on going. Will she not listen to being told that is not necessary or wanted?

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  46. Cheryl – Yeah, it was the other people, not the grieving, I was referring to. (Between my comments to Kim and you, I must not be doing a good enough job of getting my thoughts across. 🙂 )

    “. . because people expect you to be largely “over it”). . .” That’s what I was thinking of.

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  47. This discussion on grieving reminds me of some questions I’ve had about the Bible, but have never asked.

    What is meant by phrases like “when the days of mourning were past…”

    For example, from Genesis 50:

    1 And Joseph fell upon his father’s face, and wept upon him, and kissed him.

    2 And Joseph commanded his servants the physicians to embalm his father: and the physicians embalmed Israel.

    3 And forty days were fulfilled for him; for so are fulfilled the days of those which are embalmed: and the Egyptians mourned for him threescore and ten days.

    4 And when the days of his mourning were past, Joseph spake unto the house of Pharaoh…

    From Deuteronomy 34:

    7 And Moses was an hundred and twenty years old when he died: his eye was not dim, nor his natural force abated.

    8 And the children of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days: so the days of weeping and mourning for Moses were ended.

    And from 2 Samuel 11:

    26 And when the wife of Uriah heard that Uriah her husband was dead, she mourned for her husband.

    27 And when the mourning was past, David sent and fetched her to his house…

    Why does there appear to be a set time-frame put on mourning in certain Old Testament contexts (and maybe elsewhere that I’m not remembering)? What was the nature of that mourning, and how, if at all, did things change after “the mourning period” ended?

    I don’t want to appear as if I’m blaming the Bible for some people thinking that grieving/mourning must surely be “over and done with” by a certain point, but I truly am curious to know what is meant by the references to mourning being past.

    Can anyone shed light on what these verses mean?

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  48. 6 Arrows – I have always thought those verses were referring to a custom of actively mourning for a period of time.

    My MIL said that when her dad died, in the early 1940s I think, it was custom (as a Catholic? in the Boston area? in the nation in general? I don’t know whose custom) for the near family to wear black for a year. As a result, she hated to wear the color black after that.

    I know other some cultures have certain mourning customs that we seem to have lost.

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  52. Kizzie, my point is that “some” people expect you to be “over it” quickly (and chances are good they won’t give you even a year), but others won’t. And it really shouldn’t matter (although sometimes it does) what other people think, in most instances. I mean, if one of your children were to get alarmed that you aren’t coping, that might matter. But some random stranger thinking it’s been six or seven months, why isn’t she over this already? Doesn’t matter. They are either ignorant of the reality of death or any of their losses are things they got past quickly (or have chosen to forget); either way, they don’t understand, and their expectations are faulty.

    My widowed brother remarried just over a year after losing his first wife. The morning of the wedding, my brother who would perform the ceremony was driving with me to the church, and I commented that this must be a bit of a bittersweet day for the rather recent widower / new groom, partly because one just couldn’t help when saying the vows “till death do us part” just what that means. That brother married the first time at 21. Our father was still alive, and he hadn’t ever lost anyone close to him as far as I know, and in that first ceremony death would have been an abstract and long-in-the-future virtual irrelevancy. (What he was really vowing was not to divorce; he wasn’t really thinking that someday one would bury the other.) The second time he was in his 50s, each of them had buried a spouse (he had done so 13 1/2 months before), and the vows couldn’t help but bring up those memories a little and foreshadow that one of those spouses would see a second such loss.

    Anyway, when I said it couldn’t help but be a bit bittersweet, my pastor brother looked at me funny and said no, it was just a “sweet” day. And yet in reality my brother was still in active grief (and thus, in my opinion, not yet ready to remarry) and for him I am sure it was bittersweet.

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  53. 6 Arrows, actively mourning in such an official custom would include society expectations. One example from today? A new widow will probably not take off her wedding ring for a while. That is a “symbol” she is still actively mourning; she still thinks of her loss as much as she appreciates the positive aspects of daily life. The ring or the black clothing tells potential suitors “No, I don’t want to go on a date with you” and it likewise tells your friends, “Don’t set me up.” But you also are more inclined to give “space” to a new widow (or a mother who has lost a child) and not expect her at a wedding (or baby) shower this year. She is not ready to fully rejoin society in some ways, and that’s OK.

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  54. Back from the pond day event. The music turned into a jam session with several different people making the music. Fun. The boys fished but did not catch any. Something about the correlation of the hook being in the water. Lots of casting and reeling in. A fun time had by all. Five more grands to arrive tonight for a week. We have VBS next week, so I took the week off to help.

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  56. I told ten year old to get the grass clippers and cut around her lilies so they could be seen in the savanna. Then I went about my business. When I got back, she had barely made any headway on the little two by three foot section of weeds. I asked if the clippers needed oil or sharpening, She said she did not know so brought them to me. She had the wire cutters. One blade at a time.

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  59. I like the idea of making jigsaw puzzles out of scenes from my house. Challenging, they would be. I have photos of all the work as it was done, so I could do it for the DIY house renovation market …

    New photo: Random, I know, but it was shortly after I’d potted some plants AND I liked it because it shows the sample paints (on side of the garage) of what my house will be painted. Currently it’s (a very faded) blue with white trim; new colors are brandywine with cream trim. I’ve noticed a lot of the darker browns on houses & other Spanish-style buildings out here lately (as opposed to the weak tan and beige shades that predominated for so long). I’m surprised, but I like it.

    I took to the brandywine for its warm, almost golden undertones. I smile every time I look at it. And since I am trying to match the style and architecture of my house this time around, it works much better than blue (popular 20 years ago when I bought this house, though, and cute enough for the years when it stayed looking pretty fresh).

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  61. Long day with Carol who seems to be getting weaker (I suppose I notice that more since I’m not seeing her as often — last time was on Good Friday). Tomorrow’s her birthday so we went to the Glendale Galleria (I realized at some point while we were there that this was the ‘original’ galleria of the ‘valley girl’ craze in the 1980s). We ate at the food court, a bit challenging as it was packed; we wound up sharing a table with a Korean (?) family who spoke little to no English. When she had trouble getting up off her walker seat, she asked if I could give her a push on the back (which worked eventually) but meanwhile a young guy (wearing a small wooden cross around his neck) at a table next to us asked if we needed help, which was so cool. Just then, up she went, so we were good.

    Then she wanted an ice cream cone so I bought her one and as she handed it to me while she got situated to sit down again outside the shop (still in the mall), the thing just tumbled down onto the floor. Ouch. She saw her much coveted ice cream ruined, I saw nearly $6 that the thing had cost me. I apologized, but suggested we’d already had a lot to eat for lunch so maybe we should just go and she reluctantly said ok.

    Before I took her home, we cruised Hollywood Boulevard just to look — it’s tourist season already and Hollywood and Highland was simply mobbed with throngs of people, the usual super hero actors, a couple guys carrying “Jesus Saves” signs, tour buses loading people on and off — it’s always quite the scene this time of year but I’m not sure I’d ever seen it quite so mobbed and crowded.

    When I dropped her off, I met Carol’s new beau, he seems nice, a tall, very thin black man, shy, in his 60s, maybe a bit “off” like many in the residence. But they seem to enjoy each other’s company. Of course, he’s wanting her to get married so they can move out into their own apartment … But (I think) she knows better than to try going down that road again.

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  64. And I was struck again by how difficult it is to get in and around places for the disabled. It really requires strategy regarding everything from parking to seating and how to limit a visit to as few difficult steps as possible.

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  66. And people walk (and skateboard!) SO fast, trying to always bob in, out and around you. I walk very slowly next to her when we’re out, her walker is cumbersome and takes up a lot of space — but I become newly aware of how fast we all tend to normally move if we’re still able. Always in a rush …

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  68. Mumsee, one blade at a time would be safe, at least.

    Speaking of safety when trimming the grass, I received a message from Second telling me to call home. I did so in some trepidation, as I could see I also must have missed a call from her. It turns out that my dear father, having spent the whole day working madly outside – he gets like that in the spring, working feverishly to finish everything he thinks needs to be done and no amount of reassurance that others will also do their part seems to be able to slow him down – just before supper, ran the lawnmower over the top of his foot. He didn’t collapse or scream or yell, he merely came to the back door and called for someone to come out. Second went and she said one toe was dangling and another wasn’t visible in the mangled mess. So, she wrapped up his foot as best as she could and Second In-law drove him to the hospital. Second In-law reported that my father is now on a stretcher on the ER, on pain medication and antibiotics, and the physicians will stitch up the foot as best they can. My mother is waiting with him.

    If I sound somewhat detached, it is more because I’m not unaccustomed to such occurrences. The last time my father lost a part of himself to the mower, it was the top of two of his fingers (don’t ask – even he admits it was foolish to try to dislodged the piece of wood from the blade without turning the mower off). That was nine years ago, but before that he:
    – Split his scalp when the mallet he was using to split wood rebounded off a frozen log to hit him in the head – he didn’t need stitches, although the split was really deep when he had me look at it, as he used snow to slow the bleeding – my poor mother wondered why the snow was bloodstained
    – Gouged the area between his thumb and forefinger when the screwdriver he was using to open a paint can slipped, requiring stitches – my mother tells how in the ER, he dripped blood everywhere when he forgot to keep his hand elevated and wandered around with his hand hanging down
    – Stepped on a nail which went right through his boot and into his foot – I was only a small child then, but I remember him having to get a tetanus shot and soaking his foot in salt water.

    Second also remembers those things, but she said having seen this one, it seemed like the worst wound yet, and she wondered if he would just keep doing worse things to himself. The Seconds are there to help my parents, but my parents are proving a bit difficult to help, as they are so accustomed to doing everything themselves. Both my parents are still quite strong and relatively healthy, but they are also getting frail – my mother cannot move very well with her joint and muscle inflammation and my father’s hearing and seeing leave much to be desired. Well, this will make my father sit back and let his son in-law pick up the slack.

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  70. 6, I know from reading literature from the 1700s and 1800s, that there was a specific period of mourning in Western society. It was signaled in different ways and how long it lasted depended on how closely related you were to the person who died. Widowhood was a full year of mourning, and while I am not sure exactly how long the different sections of widowhood mourning were, I know that at first, the widow wore completely black clothing, while in the later months, greys and purples were considered acceptable. Black as the colour of mourning is a
    Western concept. Widows wear white in Hindu culture, Muslim funeral dress is white, and I read somewhere that the Chinese consider white as being associated with death. The Muslim period of mourning is forty days. Speaking from experience in a developing country with limited medical care where mourning periods were observed, if the period were longer than forty days, one would never get out of mourning. Death is a constant part of life. With the extended and extensive family networks, most people have a family member to mourn at least once a year.

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  71. I M tired of trying to be nice and understanding about things and people telling me I don’t understand.
    I am done. Figure it out on your own. I won’t try to be nice and I won’t try to understand.

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  73. Roscuro (9:55) interesting. We’re sheltered in the West it seems with our available medical care and other advantages.

    I remember my mom, who was widowed in her late 40s (I was a teen) told me she was ‘supposed’ to switch her wedding ring from her left to her right hand, but she never did. It was the thinnest gold band and I only remember her wearing a good fashion ring she’d picked up on one of our later forays into Mexico on that left wedding ring finger eventually ~ it hid or obscured the tiny wedding band which she still hadn’t taken off, though at some point she did remove it.

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  74. Grieving goes on. I think the Biblical “days of mourning” refer to some official/cultural time period, similar to our keeping flags at half staff for 30 days when a President dies.

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  76. As for wearing black to funerals, that was still the strong custom in the 1960s-70s. I attended my first funeral (that I remembered) when I was 14 or 15 and my uncle, a farmer, unexpectedly died in Iowa while we were there on vacation. My mom had given me some money the next day to walk downtown, such as it was, and buy myself a black dress.

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  80. Mumsee, he loved coming out. He still talks about that time.
    The hospital is keeping my father overnight. Second says it looks as if he will lose his middle toe.

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  83. Just thankful that the Seconds are there to help now. My mother has hitherto supported my father through all of his previous accidents, but now she finds it hard to just get up out of a chair.

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  84. 😔

    Prayers, roscuro, getting ‘older’ isn’t easy.

    There’s a new homeless person in front of Carol’s residence who has 2 adorable fluffy dogs … but meanwhile that’s also (partly) why Carol needs rides to and from the church around the corner — part of the walk to and fro, while short (for most of us), involves going under the Hollywood Fwy overpass where there are numerous tents and homeless people.

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  85. Morning all. Sunday is almost over here. I went to school this afternoon to finish up the report cards. Praying for a good week and to finish well. One boy is going finish so I think that while he is attending Dutch studies we will make some cards to surprise him.

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  87. I posted this on the news thread, but thought I would here as well.

    Thoughts?

    https://apnews.com/9f30770a3a3d42538cd3f14672cd6529/Many-breast-cancer-patients-can-skip-chemo,-big-study-finds

    “Most women with the most common form of early-stage breast cancer can safely skip chemotherapy without hurting their chances of beating the disease, doctors are reporting from a landmark study that used genetic testing to gauge each patient’s risk.

    The study is the largest ever done of breast cancer treatment, and the results are expected to spare up to 70,000 patients a year in the United States and many more elsewhere the ordeal and expense of these drugs.

    “The impact is tremendous,” said the study leader, Dr. Joseph Sparano of Montefiore Medical Center in New York. Most women in this situation don’t need treatment beyond surgery and hormone therapy, and “the rest of them are receiving chemotherapy unnecessarily.”

    The study was funded by the National Cancer Institute, some foundations and proceeds from the U.S. breast cancer postage stamp. Results were discussed Sunday at an American Society of Clinical Oncology conference in Chicago and published by the New England Journal of Medicine. Some study leaders consult for breast cancer drugmakers or for the company that makes the gene test.”

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  89. Cheryl – I think you and I were saying basically the same thing yesterday, but in different ways – that other people expect the grieving ones to get over it and move on sooner than they are ready to do so.

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  90. I sure could have kept on sleeping this morning. But I’m up. I still need to feed the animals (and me) before church. There may be an afternoon nap in my future.

    How is Kim/Karen-Karen-Karen today?

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  91. Grandson made sweet rolls(from a can) this morning. I asked if he wanted to make some, and he said,”oh, I don’t know how to cook”. He got to break open the can and put them in the pan. They were the hit of breakfast, and he was so proud. Small steps.

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  95. My father should be home from the hospital now. He will get home visits to take care of his IV antibiotics & dressings.

    The Real’s link on breast cancer treatment: That is why genetic studies are so hopeful for cancer treatment. The more we know about the vulnerabilities of the cancer, the better we can target treatment. Less chemotherapy is good news for everyone (nurse have to observe special precautions when working with patients on chemo, as the toxins in their waste can place the nurses’ health at risk).

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  96. Lovely photos, Donna.

    We had a very nice service today, and the pastor told about someone who was not a good man who got saved near the time of his death and wanted to be baptized. There were stairs up and down into the baptismal pool. The man crawled the stairs to be baptized. It was such a moving story (it happened in Kentucky). The point was to not give up on praying for those who have chosen to not walk with the Lord. We were studying the passage in Acts about the Ethiopian and about being available for God’s use.

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  97. Roscuro, when I was in first grade, my brother and I were jumping on boards and I jumped on one with big nail sticking up. The nail went all the way through my shoe and foot. I had to get a tetanus shot in my foot.Then I got to wear a bedroom shoe to school and as children tend to do, I had a big boo boo to awe people with for show and tell.

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  98. 6 Arrows, a logical guess concerning your question about the timeframe for mourning is that it would have been a a way to show respect for the status of the deceased. I think it must have been the outward acceptable display in the culture, but the inward private mourning could go on much longer.

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  102. Good day here. Grilled pork chops, hamburgers, hot dogs, and corn. Had to make a dash to the house as it started to pour. The rumble of the thunder is music to our ears. Not sure how much we got. I will check the guage in the morning. Any amount is welcome to go with the 9/10 and 1 1/4 inch that we have had for the year.

    My milk cow, Bluebelle, is so close to calving. Her bag is so big, it is hard for her to walk. Hoping the calf comes this week, while I am at home, and have time to get her into the milking routine. I have a lot of work the following 2 weeks.

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  103. Oh rkessler I am so thankful that ya’ll got some rain!!! We were told we would have some today but alas there was none…just happy it fell upon your land!! 😊
    I have had a day of reading…after church of course. I picked up ‘Dombey and Son’ at Goodwill the other day…well I had not read that work of Dickens so here I am…deep into it and liking it thus far….. 📚

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  104. We began on the 7th commandment today with a review of the value and uses of the law –

    * it is a source of illumination, showing us God’s righteousness; it is an extension of his very character. It also shines the light on us, in a bright room we see our darkness and we are driven to seek God’s grace.

    * the law restrains evil and curbs lawlessness so it is a benefit to all humanity – the law curbs evil in a culture

    * the law tells us what is pleasing to God, it tells us what is good and right and true. If we seek to obey, things will go well in life. It is tailor made for (fallen) humanity.

    Those who reject the things of God exchange their shame for boldness. They proclaim their own wisdom (same sex marriage among a current glaring example).

    The Christian is to lovingly walk in obedience. The tone of our language should be markedly different, we are to season our speech and not sound like our enemies. We are to speak the truth in love.

    We are in a battle and it will be a fight to the death.

    We need to be watchful of our hearts — when we are engaged in the early desires and temptations that come to us, we are to quickly pick that weed (using wire cutters?) and not let the weeds multiply; sin is like cancer, we need to ‘get it’ early. Falling into sin also is not like fallen get off a cliff; it is one (seemingly small) bad decision followed by another bad decision, followed by another and another.

    We need to control our environment, know our own weaknesses.

    While we are forgiven when we fall into sin, there are consequences and chastisement.

    To arm ourselves, we are to avail ourselves of the means of grace — church attendance, the communion table, the study and meditation on the Word of God; sanctification is a series of ‘loops’ that go up and down but ever forward. It is a process that slowly advances but we never (in this life) reach the top. Instead, heaven has come down to us in Christ and the gospel.

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  105. Aww, bluebell, keep us posted.

    I have more container planting to do, maybe tomorrow after work as it should be overcast again at the coast

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