62 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 12-14-17”

  3. Therefore leaving a spouse who is cursing him to eternal damnation. It’s bad enough that he has effectively admitted he was guilty, but now he has left her a widow to deal with the fallout. Of course it probably spared her the details of his debauchery.
    I am about over politicians. There must be something flawed in their makeup to even want to be a politician these days.

    Cheryl, what was the word you used to describe Roy Moore? He isn’t a pedophile, he is a _____.

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  6. A pastor in a large church that was formerly associated with my family’s church committed suicide after the fact that he had been conducting an affair with a woman of a couple with whom he was supposed to be counseling. He was a well known figure in Fundamentalist Baptist circles. Another case of suicide when the truth arose was related to my mother by the grown daughter of a former church deacon. He was a pedophile who abused his own children, but when he seemed poised to victimize other children, his grown children exposed him and he killed himself. Some suicides are like Saul’s after his final defeat in battle, that of a guilty person too cowardly to face the consequences of their destructive actions.

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  8. Oh, and good morning to you all! I see the squirrel is back. Off to dance, drive and walk, maybe talk, scheme, organize and hopefully sneak in prayer and thinking as well.

    Singing tonight. That’s my day. I’m tired already.

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  11. Good morning.

    It is still cold here.

    I am definitely in need of health insurance by tomorrow’s deadline. The person I was suppose to hear from last night texted that she is not an agent for the company I have decided on. It took all day to find that out. If what I have decided on falls through then maybe I can get on board with a Christian plan.

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  12. The neighborhood fire hydrant work has caused muddied water. They did not send us a boil water alert. Again, no laundry and dishwashing chores. Maybe I will wrap gifts today.

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  13. I was going by memory the other day and said “something like that.” I just googled it, and here is the word and the definition: “There are also ephebophiles (from ephebos, meaning “one arrived at puberty” in Greek), who are mostly attracted to 15- to 16-year-olds.” There are also words for earlier puberty and so forth, and of course pedophilia for the pre-pubescent.

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  14. The word you are looking for in connection to Roy Moore is ephebophilia.

    I have lived in a culture in which older men married teenage girls. The practice was gradually being changed, not because of changing taboo, but because more and more parents were allowing their girls to finish school before marrying them off. Still, I knew and know of 14 and 15 year olds who were married – it is more likely to happen among the Fula tribe than the Wolof. But marrying young in a culture that each day is a struggle for survival (so that reproduction is an imperative) is far different than an older man who simply has an appetite for very young women in a prosperous culture where marriage is delayed. Besides, if the girl is under 16, childbearing is extremely hard on her, as she has not finished growing and the baby will sap the nutrients she needs to finish her growth – in addition to the fact that a young teenage mother will have great difficulty in delivering because her pelvic bones haven’t fully formed into their adult shape – so there is very good natural reasons why very young women should not be married.

    One case that I know personally which still disturbs me was of a young man (over eighteen) who took it upon himself to tutor a twelve year old girl (she had an absent father and an abusive mother). After several months, he went to his pastor (unaffiliated with any denomination) and said he had fallen in love with the girl – and she, apparently, with him. The pastor advised him to wait until she was of legal age, so he waited, but not passively – he acted like her boyfriend or fiance. Soon after this girl turned eighteen (a very young looking eighteen), she married the man, but the person who performed the ceremony was unlicensed by the province (unbeknownst to many of the guests, who were horrified when they found out). We, who knew the family, asked Pastor A about the situation, and he said what we all were thinking, if he abandoned her, she would have had no legal protection. The girl was pregnant when the marriage was finally legalized, and she has had to have cesareans to deliver her children. The couple is still married, but although I like the girl, I can never trust her husband.

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  15. I feel relieved having finally signed up all the way for medicare. Once I get my cards and am assured I’m “in,” I can go ahead and cancel the work coverage I’d rolled over (for now) for 2018. I am keeping the work dental and vision care, they’re both inexpensive and have decent coverage. I still need to check out how to handle the HSA account I’ve had this year, the agent didn’t think there was any problem. I’ll check in with HR this week, sounded like she might know more.

    I saw that suicide story and read the note the man left last night.

    But also remember this:

    “After having endured the Gulag, Alexander Solzhenitsyn, the Russian dissident, did not come away with the idea that evil is ‘out there’ to be quarantined and set aside in jails and prisons. No, he realized that ‘the line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either—but right through every human heart—and through all human hearts.'”

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  16. My Mercury has a dashboard warning light that not only warns me of malfunctions, it tells me when I need oil change. It has been such a long time (about six months) since the last change that the red light came on. I cant turn it off.
    So?
    I took the car to JiffyLube to have the oil changed.
    The guy said, “You only have 800 miles since the last oil change.” I asked him to look at it and fix the light.
    He did that and drove the car around to the “finished” lane.
    I asked, “How much?
    He said “Nothing” They didn’t charge me anything.
    I gave the guy $20.00 and said Merry Christmas ” and drove away.
    I will go to JiffyLube next time. .

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  17. For now I’m staying with a PPO plan but may eventually switch to the cheaper HMO option when I’m no longer working. Whatever you choose, it’s only for a year, at least.

    Janice, hoping the agent calls you back. I suppose everyone’s scrambling right now for medical coverage. I was talking to the woman who handles insurance in my GPs office yesterday and she said none of the plans are great anymore, and she confirmed to me that, yes, it’s all very confusing to navigate.

    She told me my office chart would now change colors, from green to gray, now that I’m switching to medicare. So that confirms it, I’m old. At least my hair hasn’t turned gray yet 🙂

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  19. DJ, yes we are all capable of evil. But though there is eternal forgiveness available to all sins, there are also consequences in this life, because as Abel’s blood cried out from the ground, so all victims of crimes that are committed cry out for justice and are heard by the God of justice. The modern Church has a long history of being too quick to point out our mutual sinfulness and demand forgiveness by the victim, rather than seek justice for the perpetrator. Jesus, on the other hand, warned that whoever offended one of the children of His kingdom, it would be better for such a person to have been drowned in the deepest sea than to have committed the offense. Where Christ showed outrage, as at the religious hypocrites who blocked up the way to life by their hidden evil, we too should be outraged. I know of no greater deterrent to sin than learning to hate it as our Lord hated it.

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  20. Back to clogging the toilet every day. Sixteen year old has decided that paper napkins are better than toilet paper. We have not had paper napkins in the house for a long time but husband just started buying them again and I have had to unclog the toilet twice in the past week. Time for an outhouse.

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  21. Oh, there are blueprints for outhouses online. I remember looking them up when I was desperate during the bathroom demolition derby in my house just about a year ago. Fun times.

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  22. Justice should always be meted out to wrongdoers. But when I comes to our (personally) standing on a pedestal in our own (or even on behalf of God’s) righteous wrath (and, yes, that does come quite naturally for all of us), we have to be careful and yield to the civil authorities and to God for the ultimate justice.

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  24. We need to temper our own outrage with humility. But maybe that’s just me, the longer I live the more aware I am of my own sin and capacity for sin. I’m told this is spiritual growth, so I don’t fight it. But it has certainly had a way of changing my outlook and eagerness to cast stones at the “evil without.”

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  30. I can’t see a bird on this tiny phone screen.

    I am signed up with the Georgia
    Ambetter plan for 2018. I did not get dental or vision since my doctors are not on the plan. I was told that emergency room visits are covered out of state. I ended up talking with one of the plan agents who was in an office about twenty miles from where I live. Now I can move on to thinking about other things. I did receive my first of what will be many Medicare info notices yesterday from Kaiser since I turn 65 next Dec.

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  31. Art and I watched a movie last night, The Intern, starring Robert de Niro and Anne Hathoway. It really kept my interest and was pretty good at covering some modern day issues about the generations needing to connect in positive ways and how women are no longer called ‘girls,’ but men are now considered as big ‘boys.’ It is in no way a Christian movie, but it does have some Christian values presented. It also speaks to the stay-at-home mommies engaged in battle with working mommies. Also it shows what retirement holds for those who are still mentally and physically able and desiring to do something positive in the world.

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  34. In the past in California, now I’m not sure of the law, if there was more than a three year age difference between the parties and one was a minor, sexual intercourse was considered statuatory rape.

    The police used to scare guys with that information; most people didn’t know anything about it.

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  35. Michelle, the precise law varies from state to state, but most states do have such laws, as I understand it. (In some states once you reach the age of consent, you’re considered old enough to consent to sex with someone who is of age, I think.)

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  36. It;s interesting to me how many laws and customs we have about what is and is not proper, what is and is not legal. Culturally, we would be more appalled at a 15- or 16-year-old woman marrying a 28-year-old man than at the same girl fornicating with a boy her age. But really, it is a whole lot simpler to narrow it down to one question: “Are you married to him or her?” If not, do not touch the person sexually! Laws should protect pre-pubescent children (and those in early puberty) from marrying, and it’s right and good to have laws against marriages among close relatives and so forth, but age is not the actual problem in most of these cases, nor is consent or lack of it. Lack of marriage is the problem. I prefer not to see 14-year-olds marry, but given the choice between having her fornicate or having her marry, marriage is far and away the better option.

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  37. I am having to fight feeling guilty for not taking my friend, Karen, to the hospital. I told her she needs to call for an ambulance. I feel frustrated that her family will not take care of her and that they look to me. She has so many issues. I am always afraid she will die each time she gets in bad shape.

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  38. I dealt with a 13 year-old bride once at the Navy Relief organization. Her 18 year old groom had gone to sea for three months and left her in the care of friends–who then got orders and had to leave the area.

    The groom took three months pay, as is the custom, paid the friends rent for the wife and left her with the rest of his money. What do you suppose she did with it?

    Bought a big dog and a wooly coat and then it was gone, poof!

    Genuinely curious, I asked her about the wedding. Her parents weren’t in favor, but said if she was determined, they were not going to stand in her way.

    (WHAT?! I wasn’t a parent then myself, but this sounded crazy to me.)

    No one would marry them in Washington State, but eventually they tracked down someone who rolled his eyes, “better to wed than bed?” and did the deed.

    They’d been married maybe six weeks when the groom left for sea. We were in Connecticut.

    I called her parents and explained the situation. They sighed but said, yes, they’d take her home again and we paid to fly her back to Washington State.

    I think better parents might have made a difference here.13 years old was way too young to wed.

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  39. DJ, the older I grow, the more I too understand my own weaknesses and how much I need to depend on the Lord. But I also understand that there is a difference between a scenario in which Jesus’ words about casting stones apply and those in which His words about whited sepulchers apply. Paul said, in his instructions regarding investigating wrongdoing by church elders that those elders who sinned were to be rebuked before everyone. Those who are prominent in the church are worthy of double honour when they do well, but if they do evil, they deserve public disgrace. The woman taken in adultery was being unjustly punished by the religious elders of that day (both man and woman found in adultery were to be jointly punished under the law); but Jesus used the whip of his anger against the elders themselves because they abused their position of power. It does not indicate a lack of humility to be outraged at an abuser.

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  40. Cheryl, regarding laws of consent and cultural taboos, the laws in Canada call sexual intercourse with a person below the age of consent rape, but make allowances for those in close proximity to age with the individual. That exception for proximity in age indicates where the cultural taboo lies – with the age difference. There are several factors behind this but, using the real life example that I know personally, the core issue is a recognition of an imbalance of power. The young man in my story was in a position of power over the girl, and he effectively, before she had the ability to decide for herself, decided her future for her. The family the girl came from homeschooled (yes, even though it was a broken home) after a fashion, but not well. I do not think she even has a high school diploma. Were anything to happen to her husband, she would have no life skills to draw upon. Were she to need to leave him for her own safety because he was abusive, she would have no resources of her own. He holds absolute sway over her life, whether that was his intent or not.

    The early church writer John Chrysostum, in speaking of the verse I Corinthians 113, where it says the head of the woman is the man, observed that the relationship between a man and his wife was that of equals. But in a marriage forged between a minor who does not yet have the ability to decide other things in her life (e.g. driving, using certain substances, voting) and an adult who has those abilities is not a marriage based on equality, and we cannot have any confidence that the adult will not abuse their position of power over the minor. The more we know about the brain, the more we understand that the adolescent is actually still developing their reasoning and decision making capabilities, in other words, they still need some protection because they are not fully capable of deciding for themselves. Society has recognized this, and therefore places limits on the influence fully grown adults other than their guardians (which includes parents) can have upon them. The idea of a man molding and shaping his young wife into what he wants her, regardless of what she wants, to be is rightfully distasteful. I have no problem with wide age differences between marriage partners, provided both members are adults when the relationship is entered into.

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  41. I knew a woman in West Africa who had been married at about 13, and she said her husband (who was older than the woman’s mother) had basically raised her. But in that culture, few people had the ability to make their choices about marriages. Most men married their first cousins for the first marriage, and marriages was a determined contract between both families. Failing to meet the terms of the contract could lead to the marriage being dissolved. Thus, new converts could find themselves either divorced by will of their families or, in the case of men, forcibly married to another wife since the cultural perception was that a Christian couldn’t have more than one wife, so if a convert was married to another wife he would cease to be a Christian. Such a culture also ended up sheltering abusers, since the police had little ability to investigate anything other than theft or murder. I examined a young girl who had clearly been sexually abused by an older man, but there was nothing we could do, no legal recourse to protect her. In such a culture, due to the lack of protection, people do what they have to survive, but it serves to accentuate how much a culture which does seek to protect the weak, however imperfectly that is accomplished, helps to alleviate some human suffering.

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  42. Roscuro, I’m not in favor of really young marriages, but “age of adulthood” is not a clear-cut concept. Most states that I know of allow people to marry at 18, but marriage can be earlier with parental approval. (Some states then give a minimum age, say 16, and some do not.) Considering that no law can be perfect, that seems as good as any a way to do it, as long as someone counsels the couple and makes sure that marriage is truly their desire.

    A co-worker in my last job mentioned often that her mother married at 14. I have no way of knowing whether or not it was a happy marriage, but it was a lasting one. An elderly friend of mine married quite young in her first marriage, 14 or 15, I don’t remember exactly, and bore here husband four children before he died in his sleep when the couple was still just young. She spoke of him fondly to the end of her life, many decades later. The age of 18 is not a good one for everyone.

    Meanwhile, today I see people marrying at 23 and others pleading with them to wait a few years, because they’re really too young. On some website a week or two ago I saw a man commenting that no one should marry until the age of 30. At some point, we simply have to say that people can make their own choices about whom to marry–as long as they do it voluntarily and with reasonable maturity. But society delaying into an average age of marriage of late 20s has not had its desired effect of making sure that people are mature enough to marry. Instead, 25-year-olds don’t tend to think of themselves as adults (!), and too often they don’t act like it. My parents-in-law married at 18, and they lived their life as adults. My father-in-law went on to get several degrees and to live a responsible life; Mom was happy being a wife and mother, and she led Bible studies, gardened, decorated her house. They are known and respected in our community, each in his / her own field.

    Today, 25-year-olds are likely to be still getting degrees on their parents’ money with no real steps toward adulthood. Fifty years ago a 16-year-old woman was more ready to marry than most 25-year-olds today, and I’m not sure that is a good thing. In fact, I’m sure it’s not. And the idea that it is considered normal to have had sex with multiple people before one marries is certainly not a good thing.

    Basically there is no perfect culture. Some are definitely worse than others! But 18 is not a magical age at which one becomes ready to marry; some are ready earlier, some later, and some never marry.

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  46. Thanks, Cheryl. I was keeping an eye out on the Ligonier Ministries Facebook page, but the last time I checked it was shortly before the announcement. May God give comfort & peace to his loved ones.

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  47. Thinking about the insurance companies that do fill out that form for their customers (which I mentioned over on the prayer thread this morning), it seems that it would make sense to somehow let the beneficiary know that they will do that, perhaps in a note with the check. Or probate courts should advise people to ask their insurance companies. I’m sure other widows or widowers, & other executors, have panicked looking at the questions that they had no idea about.

    The problem wasn’t only a matter of not understanding the terms, it was also that I did not have available to me the information that the form requires.

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  49. I was sorry, too, to hear about the passing of RC, though it wasn’t an overwhelming surprise. And I always was imagining the joy … But yes, the grief among loved ones left behind for now.

    https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/justin-taylor/r-c-sproul-1939-2017/

    ______________________________________

    He wrote about what it would be like to be in heaven and identified with Christ:

    “You can grieve for me the week before I die, if I’m scared and hurting, but when I gasp that last fleeting breath and my immortal soul flees to heaven, I’m going to be jumping over fire hydrants down the golden streets, and my biggest concern, if I have any, will be my wife back here grieving. When I die I will be identified with Christ’s exaltation. But right now, I’m identified with His affliction.” …

    Today, R.C. Sproul—a sinner saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ based on Scripture alone for the glory of God alone—is seeing his Savior face to face, and hearing the words we all long to hear: “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Master.”
    _________________________________________

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  51. His remark about grieving for him the week before his death, but not after, describes how I think of Hubby.

    While he was alive, Hubby would have been devastated to know he would die soon. He had so much he wanted to do, especially to be here for The Boy, not to mention – me! And he would have lamented, & deeply regretted, the bill-paying mess he left behind for me to wade through, & the things he left undone (for instance, things he wanted to fix or have someone else fix). He would have grieved to be leaving us.

    Although I don’t think he was “with it” enough, due to the morphine he was on in those last few days, to realize his death was possibly imminent, I do think the suspicion of it must have occurred to him at some point. That makes me so sad to think of him feeling any of that devastation & regret. (And yes, I am crying as I think about it.)

    But where he is now? I cannot feel sorry for him for that. He is at peace, no longer in pain, no longer worrying about bills or all the responsibilities that were on his shoulders. He is with his beloved Savior.

    Yet, even still, to be completely honest, I feel that at 62, in this day & age, he was too young to die. And I still lament & grieve that he will not be here for The Boy as he grows up.

    And it hurts that we will not grow old together, or even older, as it was obvious that with the cancer progressing, albeit slowly, he was not going to grow “old”. But older by a few years would have been nice. My dad made it to 70 with cancer, & I was hoping Hubby could have made it to 70, too. We used to say that we would be one of those cute old couples still holding hands in public. We joked that he would probably be a grumpy old man. (He actually did yell at some kids to get off his property this past summer, like the stereotypical grumpy old man yelling at kids to “Get off my lawn!”. 😀 )

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  52. I am so very grateful for some things that happened in the days, weeks, & months before Hubby’s death. There were a couple things he did fix within a couple months of his death, including our backdoor that didn’t stay clicked closed, & could be opened by a gust of wind even when locked (which is why it was good we had a chain latch on it). Also within a couple months of his death, he compiled a list (unfortunately not as complete as he thought it was) of his/our accounts with user names & passwords, & put it & the life insurance folder in a place where I could easily find it. (Still don’t know, however, what he did with our marriage certificate.)

    While he was hospitalized, he walked me through doing some things with our online bill-paying, which up till then had been a complete mystery to me. He had me do just enough that when he was gone, I knew enough to do what needs to be done, & could figure out the rest.

    Those preparations were definitely God’s doing, His prompting.

    Update on Hubby’s filing system: There are still a bunch of files unrelated to the usual bills that I will eventually have to go through & organize or dispose of, but the files for the bills are now in alphabetical order, by company name. 🙂

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  53. I know a couple of women married at 15 years of age. Both were long lasting successful marriages. One ended in death, the other is still going strong into retirement. Their daughter married at 18 and has a very successful marriage, as well. I used to sometimes worry about her and now she is a wonderful Christian mother, wife and example to many others.

    My grandmother was quite unhappy my mother waited so late in life to marry. She was 21.

    I was 20 and that was normal. Now it is considered young.

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  54. I’m struggling this week with Carol, she expecting her little windfall of money and is just all off track as she awaits. I honest wish (and even told her this) that she’d just get it already and spend it all so she could settle down. She’s dealing with a lot of anger (she threw a coffee cup at her wall in her room today, luckily it was metal) against other residents (she thinks they’re all talking about her and hacking into her cell phone). So anger and paranoia in spades. She has talked to the staff about it (they suggest she may be imagining some of this, of course) so I know they’re aware of it.

    I kind of cut her off short tonight, I had a long and busy day and was juggling feeding the animals (and trying to keep Tess from stealing Annie’s food, which she did anyway). It’s also trash night. And I have a long day tomorrow, 2 stories to do.

    And house colors? Yeah, I haven’t gotten back to those either, that may just wind up a big waste of money for the most part, stupid of me but life and work intervene. I really didn’t realize how much of the work I was expected to do on the colors after giving him my general ideas.

    Ok, rant over.

    Back to the Hallmark channel Christmas movie of the night.

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  58. Cheryl, at the very least, a teenager considering marriage needs to be examined by a doctor, as they are at high risk for complications in pregnancy. Physical maturity is just as important as mental and emotional maturity for marriage.

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  59. It may also be another dip in her potassium levels. It’s about time for that again (she bottoms out every 2-3 months) and she really is just way out of whack in the past couple weeks. She promised she’d mention it to the visiting doctor tomorrow & they’ve apparently already set her up for a round of blood work to check on her levels.

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  60. Just got a tweet msg from a local radio station that wants to interview me tomorrow about the vegan dog issue. Something I really don’t know all that much about! Oy.

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