It’s Thursday, so don’t forget to pray for Jo and the people of PNG.
Anyone else?
Psalm 100
1 Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
2 Worship the Lord with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
3 Know that the Lord is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.
Wandering Views 
Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. II Corinthians 1:9
Indeed, this is how we felt, when we the Dr told us that Miguel will have another 6 weeks of non weight bearing. I cried. The Dr wants the void where the patellar tendon was reattached to show more healing. We are trusting God, who knit his bones together in his mother’s womb, will knit his bones together now. Thank you for your continued prayers.
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😉 My mind won’t let me read Ps. 100 in another translation.
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Psalm 100 was my very first “homework” assignment in Kindergarten. I couldn’t read yet, but I had to memorize that Psalm. 🙂
Please remember BG in your prayers. She is having some stomach issues.
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I’m so sorry you got that news, RKessler. You and Miguel will continue to be in my and my Bible study friends’ prayers.
Kim, praying for BG. And your mother heart.
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Praying, rkessler and Kim.
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Requesting more prayer for Chas and Elvera. Especially Chas right now.
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Please remember Nightingale & Chickadee in your prayers. For Nightingale, strength & wisdom as she takes on many of her dad’s former responsibilities (& does so willingly, of her own accord, God bless her). For Chickadee, a desire to re-bond with her own family, & to help out with some of the responsibilities here at home.
Most of all, of course, for salvation for both of them, & for The Boy, that we would all be united as a family in Christ.
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Nightingale & I were talking about the situation with Chickadee this morning. She has witnessed that Chickadee has shown an unwillingness to step in & help. One example: She once asked her to help with the leaves in the backyard. Chickadee did not reply, which is her way of saying no without saying no.
Nightingale & I realize that Chickadee would probably want to spend much of, or most of, Thanksgiving with the McKs, especially since she will be here helping childsit for every other day of next week, including the Friday & Saturday after. So we came up with the idea of having a brunch instead of a big dinner, then she could go to their house for the rest of the day. (We were planning on doing something different than the usual turkey dinner anyway.)
Chickadee says she doesn’t know yet if she’ll join us for that, because it depends on their plans. It should be the other way around – what she does with them should depend upon our plans, not what she does with us being dependent upon their plans. Nightingale is becoming increasingly disappointed in her little sister. (So please pray for their relationship, too.)
This mama’s heart is hurting. (Prayers for all the mamas – & daddies – on this blog who are hurting over wayward children.)
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One other matter with Chickadee: Nightingale says that the dosage of Chickadee’s anti-depressant is very high, but we haven’t noticed a big change in her. She wonders if it could be that Chickadee is being treated for neuro-typical depression & anxiety, rather than being treated for those things connected with Asperger’s Syndrome, which would make her NOT neuro-typical. (We don’t know if there would be a difference in treatment, but were wondering about it.)
Please pray that Chickadee will have the courage to finally ask her therapist or psychiatrist for a diagnosis, one way or the other. Nightingale is going to encourage her to do so, mentioning her concerns, but Chickadee has to be the one to follow through.
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Kizzie, I’m not sure why Chickadee should be expected to “help at home” more than she already does (in helping with the childsitting). As much as you want to have her live with you, she does not. As Roscuro has ably expressed on this site, it isn’t always a realistic expectation that young women live with their parents all their lives. I understand that there are extenuating circumstances in not wanting to have her live where she is living. But it seems like in one way you are expecting to have it both ways: (1) She is not fully adult, so she should not make her own choice of where to live; (2) She should act like a responsible adult, and help her parents even though she does not live at home.
As a general rule, once adults move out of the house, they do not “help out at home” except under special circumstances. For example, an adult son might help his mother with putting the window air conditioner up for the season, or adult children might help their parents move. And as their parents grow old, if the kids are still local, they might help with such things as lawn care. But mature, responsible young people don’t help middle-aged parents around the house, as a general rule, if they are not living at home, and certainly it’s unlikely that a young adult with limited social skills would do so. I think that your relationship with her might be better if you can truly let go this expectation. She isn’t a child who is refusing to do chores in the household where she is living; she is an adult who is living elsewhere. Any help she gives is voluntary, not something she “owes” you.
When I was 20, if I went to visit my mom she might ask me to reach down something from her top shelf (since I’m taller than she was) or open a jar if she had trouble opening it, and I was happy enough to do those small “hey, while you’re here” tasks. And just like any guest I might offer to help cook or help with dishes. But had she wanted me to rake the yard or vacuum or otherwise do “chores” around the house, I would have felt like she didn’t understand that I was now an adult with my own household. I was not her little girl any more. Now, if she was recovering from an injury and not allowed to lift anything for two weeks, that might have changed things considerably–but everyday tasks, no. It would have made me try to avoid even going to see her.
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I do agree that she should put her family first in holiday plans, and in fact that the family with whom she is living should be expecting that she will spend the holiday with you and they may not see her that day–they should encourage her in that direction if she is not so inclined herself.
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Cheryl – It’s not that I think she should not have the choice to choose where she lives, but rather that I wish she preferred us & our home to them. (Mainly for the reasons I have mentioned in the past – that it is an unhealthy situation for her, & that they are keeping her stunted rather than helping her grow.)
To me, this is not merely a situation of wishing she’d help me with chores. This is a situation where the man of the family has died, & there are a lot of things he left undone, with only two of us here to deal with everything that needs to be dealt with. In some families, that would be reason enough for even a grown & out-of-the-house son or daughter to offer some extra help for a while. The McKs have done that in their own family. We’ve done it in ours.
As for my relationship with Chickadee, I keep all of this in, I do not put any pressure on her. I express my love to her, & my appreciation for whatever she does when she is here (things she’s always done as part of our childsitting), & I try to keep things light.
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It disappoints me that the McK parents are not telling her to spend the holidays with us, but then I wonder if maybe she is not telling them the whole story. IOW, she may be pretending that their plans mesh with ours. But I don’t know.
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Kizzie, that’s part of the reason I made mention to a son helping out. If you have things at your home that need a man to do them, see if you can get help from church. My husband urged my sister in this direction when her husband died. We stayed for two weeks and helped her get on her feet financially (my husband helped with paperwork, and we bought a few things they needed), but they had needs we didn’t have time or energy to help with; we needed to get back home.
He told her that from his own experience, in the first year people around you are eager to help, and glad to be told ways that they can help. Everything you have said about Chickadee says she doesn’t have the social or emotional resources to offer help. It’s unusual when a young adult her age, in this generation, does, and she does not. Expecting her to be able to is putting yourself in a place to be disappointed, and her in a place to sense that she is letting you down. It’s also completely “normal” for a young woman to prefer to have some space from the family home. Our older daughter chose marriage; our younger, living with her grandmother. I chose to move out to live with my sister when I myself was 20. All of those are still living with family–but it’s a very natural part of growing up, and it has nothing to do with rejection of one’s parents. I personally think that our younger daughter had a “better” situation living with us (we are better at seeing her as an adult and trusting her to be able to come and go without worrying if she comes in at the precise time we expect her home) . . . but it was time for her to spread her wings, and her grandmother’s need gave her a good opportunity to do so even if from our side she’s actually being treated as less mature now than she was at home.
But anyway, I’d encourage you to ask at church for help that you need–I’m sure there are people ready and willing to help, but just not sure what help is needed.
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