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Prayer Requests 10-31-17

Anyone have something to share?

Psalm 84

1 How lovely is your dwelling place,
    Lord Almighty!
2 My soul yearns, even faints,
    for the courts of the Lord;
    my heart and my flesh cry out
    for the living God.
3 Even the sparrow has found a home,
    and the swallow a nest for herself,
    where she may have her young—
    a place near your altar,
    Lord Almighty, my King and my God.
4 Blessed are those who dwell in your house;
    they are ever praising you.

5 Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
    whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baka,
    they make it a place of springs;
    the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength,
    till each appears before God in Zion.

8 Hear my prayer, Lord God Almighty;
    listen to me, God of Jacob.
9 Look on our shield, O God;
    look with favor on your anointed one.

10 Better is one day in your courts
    than a thousand elsewhere;
    I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
    than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
11 For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
    the Lord bestows favor and honor;
    no good thing does he withhold
    from those whose walk is blameless.

12 Lord Almighty,
    blessed is the one who trusts in you.

16 thoughts on “Prayer Requests 10-31-17”

  1. I was reading 2 John this morning. It is interesting how many times John uses the word “Commandments” We always think of that as an OT thing.
    I don’t have my concordance anymore, but I searched BibleGateway:’
    “Command” is used 839 times in the Bible. Commandment, 333 times.
    I have no way of knowing how many times in the NT.
    But, if I remember correctly, “Command” in the NT is always followed by “love one another”.
    I wish I still had my concordance so I could research that.
    I don’t think Paul ever uses that word.
    Fascinating.

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  2. Last week I asked you to pray for B. This morning I awoke to dozens of FB posts. She passed away last night. It is hard to wrap my brain around someone her age dying from complications of the flu in 2017.

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  3. Kizzie,
    First of all what I am about to write is based on my own experience with my own child. As Random used to say, your mileage may vary.
    Chickadee, is an adult (that’s questionable with mine even though she is 20) not living under your roof. I used to tell BG “my house, my rules” these are the things you need to do to be a member of this household. Chickadee is, like it or not, not a member of your household. She made the decision to move with the McK’s and as much as it broke your heart (BG broke mine) it was her decision to make.
    Since she is not a member of your household, perhaps in her mind she owes you nothing. Anything she does for you is on a voluntary basis and/or for pay. She (and BG) have made it quite clear that she doesn’t want to live under your roof and abide by your rules. Ultimately, at this point she is a guest in your house. It hurts. I get that.
    Perhaps she is seeing you as too needy and demanding so she pulls away. Because you (and I) can’t stand the pulling away, you ask for more, which begins that whole cycles of pulling and resisting. As hard as it may be, try asking less and less of her.
    She is seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. You have offered to go with her and she has refused. At her age there isn’t much more you can do but pray. Trust me, I understand. I have these feelings with my own child.
    BG’s dad and I talked this morning. We don’t understand why she is doing the things she is doing. Almost at the same time with both said, “she wan’t raised this way”. I lie awake at night replaying her childhood and when she was a young adult. I have so many regrets and beg God to forgive my mistakes and fix things.
    The other day a man at work prayed with me and afterwards told me things were going to get worse before they got better. He has a 40 something year old son that he went through some similar things with.
    I know you don’t want to hear what I have said, and I didn’t want to say them. I don’t want to accept them for myself but there they are….
    Please accept this in the loving way I have meant it. As Michelle often says, when I am pointing my finger at you, I have 3 more pointing back at me. I have made so many mistakes as a mother. I wish I could go back in time and make other decisions, but none of us are given that luxury.
    As always, I love you Dear Kizzie.

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  4. …and oh by the way… I had sent a couple of texts to BG last night. She answered them at 5 am. She spend yesterday in bed sleeping between throwing up. My brain went immediately to she must be smoking weed again. She knows what it does to her, yet refuses to accept it and quit.

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  5. Thank you, & I love you, too, Dear Kim.

    I actually have not been demanding of Chickadee, & refrain from asking much of her for the very reason you stated. The things she currently does, she started doing on her own. I would sometimes caution Hubby from asking too much of her.

    The McKs believe that helping family is very important, as do we, so I think she believes that also, even if she finds it hard to follow through on. As I said last night, I will tread carefully here, kind of feel her out to see how willing she may be to help. I really think she will be willing, as long as I don’t pile it on her, & I don’t intend to do that.

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  6. And speaking of Chickadee. . .Last night, looking in my saved bookmarks, I came across the link to her Tumblr account (which I’m not supposed to know about, but found while snooping a few years ago), & started reading the About Me section. It was late, so I made myself not finish reading, to go back to it today, but the little I saw was disturbing.

    She has embraced all those mixed up, ungodly views on gender & sexuality that YF has espoused. She considers herself non-binary & genderfluid, as well as using the “in” terms for being asexual & aromantic (aka not having any sexual or romantic feelings). (Those terms are ase & aro, in case you were wondering.) She wrote something of being included in the LGBT community.

    Chickadee learned those things from BF & YF. I realize she could have learned those terms & ideas elsewhere, but I believe that their influence tipped her into embracing those ideas & identities, to fit in more with them. YF is straight, but an outspoken LGBT “ally”, & her sister, BF (Chickadee’s best friend since they were little) came out as a lesbian in high school.

    My sweet daughter needs salvation, healing, & deliverance. So do the McK daughters.

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  7. Kizzie, many years ago I worked with a couple of women who were lesbians. One was single and the other in a long term relationship and I knew/know I am completely straight. What I found was a loving, welcoming group of people. It was easy to fit in. That community is very welcoming, especially the women. Don’t discount the pull it may have for her.

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  8. I had a frustrating phone conversation with Carol last night, she’s anticipating nearly a years-worth of back payments for a pension she gets from NY in about a month (she’s supposed to get it divvied up monthly but for the 2nd year in a row she has failed, month after month, to set aside the $10 to send in the notarized paperwork they need at the start of each year to send the payments — I gave her the $10 at the end of the year last year, but have refused to give it to her this year).

    Since it’s a matter of doing that or forfeiting the money for the entire year, she’s setting out today to get it done (she was paid yesterday and is, of course, now completely broke except for that $10).

    But her entire conversation last night was about all the new digital tablets & gadgets she’s going to buy herself when that money comes in, including the 2 “gifts” she asked that I get for her but told her were too expensive. She’ll clearly have 0 left within hours of getting those funds and carrying out her spending spree (I just hope she remembers to pay her facility some of the back pay she owes them first).

    She’s like an 8-year-old, completely carried away by the prospects of all her new things, without a thought about how her perpetual (self-chosen) poverty after that will affect everyone around her as she begs and borrows her way through life. In the past couple years I’ve sprung for a fairly nice thanksgiving dinner out for the both of us. Why doesn’t she think to set aside some money to pay for herself one of these years? Or at least contribute something to the outing? This year I’m hoping to hitch a ride with one of my cousins for the holiday instead, I’m tired of paying for these dinners. If she’d just show that she’s making some sort of effort, but she never does.

    I’m just feeling so burned out with her, which is what I think has happened to her with all her friends who have tried to help her throughout her life. She’s just not going to change and she seems oblivious to how her actions affect those around her who always have to pick up the tabs and any and all financial slack. She said something last night about needing a stamp and I suggested she buy a book of stamps at the UPS store when she’s there for the notary. “I don’t have any money.” What? You just got paid.

    So she’ll be begging someone for a stamp tomorrow, too. (I actually gave her some envelopes and a book of stamps as part of her Christmas gift one year. I think she lost the stamps at some point.)

    So pray that she’d have some sort of growing awareness of these issues in herself, and also for me as I continue to try to figure out how to be a friend without being used or becoming irritated with her — and that I would not become short with her, which I found myself doing last night. (At one point she says, “I’m also going to save some of the money, but don’t get excited” — “Oh I won’t,” I said, “I’ll only believe that when I see it.” “Whatever,” she said).

    I finally had to say goodbye & cut the conversation short last night, I couldn’t bear listening to her excitedly going on and on about her anticipated spending spree on things she doesn’t need and won’t even value or take care of after the newness of them wears off (especially after a later, greater version of whatever it is is released which she’ll then covet instead).

    I realize some of this is connected to her mental illness, but some of it strikes me also as just a willfulness.

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  9. Kim – I understand. That is part of what is scary. Chickadee seems to feel that she does not fit in with her own family, & is vulnerable to that kind of pull. Then add to that the undue influence the McK girls have on her. I am praying for a miracle.

    Btw, I firmly believe her feeling of not fitting in with us is due to her own feelings, not anything we have done. I truly do not believe we have done anything to make her feel that we don’t accept & love her. But I also know that she probably does not feel she can share those feelings about her gender identity with us, which creates its own wedge.

    My heart is aching, even more so because of grieving the loss of Hubby. That makes this other ache even worse.

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  11. Kizzie, her feelings of not fitting in with the family are actually fairly normal. Not all girls go through that but a lot of them do and our culture does not help.

    DJ, as always, she reminds me of three of my children. Not the mentally ill one. I will do it my way and all I can see is the end of my nose so whatever I want right now is what I will do.

    Which explains the debt collection calls for one daughter who has not lived here for two years. And the boy losing his place in the rental. And the boy calling yesterday after school to ask if he could go to knowledge bowl when he knows we expect twenty four hours notice. I knew about knowledge bowl, it is on the school calendar. No, he did not get permission to go and, amazingly, he did not go. This is all pure resistance to authority and refusal to think ahead. Okay, the rental boy may not ever make it due to low decision making skills.

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  12. And impulse control (or lack of it) for Carol.

    But she is mentally ill as well. In fact, after a couple dropped calls she again became convinced last night that someone was probably hacking into her phone. I was so weary of it all that rather than try to talk her down from that I said “Yes, that could be.” It took her aback a bit.

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  13. A few years back, when she was still working for the county, she somehow was given 2 credit cards with $500 limits on each. They were maxed within 2 days, I believe.

    Some months later, she says to me, with a very self-righteous tone, ‘The credit card companies are calling me at work but they’re not supposed to do that.”

    “OK, but let’s back up, why are they calling you? Have you not paid your bills?”

    “No.”

    “Well, I’d suggest you get them on the phone right away and make arrangements to begin making payments. When you do that, and actually follow through, they’ll stop calling you at work or at home.”

    Eventually, the companies wrote it all off as a bad debt, apparently.

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  15. Adding some humor here. I ask/told my dad once:
    Daddy. It’s OK. I can handle it. Please tell me I am adopted. There is no way I could be related to these people.
    He died keeping that secret. He insisted I wasn’t adopted and was fully biologically related to all of my relatives.
    I still think there is no way I am related to some of them.

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  16. Kizzie, I admit my sympathies are with Chickadee on the babysitting thing. I’m guessing she is making only a few dollars an hour, money she may not actually need, and giving up plans for that takes discipline. If she were actually needed, then she probably should stick with it and consider it a commitment. But when she has something else that she could be doing, being the second babysitter for a seven-year-old in his own home probably feels non-essential–or it least it would for me. The Boy is not old enough to stay by himself; he needs an adult to be present with him. But he is old enough to amuse himself, and doesn’t need two adults. So if she has other plans, she takes them–and that makes sense to me. If she needed the money, or you weren’t available and she was needed, that would be different. But being a second adult is probably something that doesn’t seem all that important now that the Boy is old enough to be able to read or play by himself.

    I understand that it is probably her companionship that you want more than anything, especially after the loss of your Hubby–but she probably doesn’t really comprehend that (what young single person, especially with special needs, can possibly really comprehend that?), and she sees only that her presence is not actually necessary and that she has other options she doesn’t want to turn down.

    Accept what she can give, and thank her, and when it is important that she be there, then ask her to be. Or if you need an actual commitment on a given day, then make that clear. But it makes sense that she wouldn’t be treating this with the same seriousness as a career job–it isn’t, neither in pay, nor in how necessary her presence is at any given time. And maybe find other ways to get together with her, if it’s her presence you most desire.

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