I’ve had a growing sense of unease the last few months about one of my piano families, to the point where I’ve been having some physical safety concerns for myself. The mom and dad have been acting quite differently lately, and the student on one occasion mentioned something (not in the presence of his parents) to me that gave me pause, and that I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be too pleased to know that the student said anything to me. (Nothing illegal, that I can tell, but concerning.)
Prayers for wisdom as I deal with this family, and for freedom from fear, which may be unfounded anyway.
Also, what is the best way to look up whether someone has a criminal record?
6 Arrows, criminal records are a matter of public record now, I believe. Problem is you may have to have the name just right, but your first step is to try google. Google “Joseph Smith” and if that brings you too many hits, then try “Joseph Smith Utah.” I once googled someone and didn’t find anything until I added his middle initial (which I happened to know) and then voila, up came an arrest report. I then paid the money to the police department and got the police report sent to me, no questions asked. (It was only five or six dollars for a big thick report, maybe less. They crossed out such things as the names of other people involved, but otherwise I had every page of the police report just for asking.)
If you don’t find anything that way, then you might call the police department and ask. But remember, if they haven’t done anything yet, they won’t have a record, and if they have done anything in another state before files starting being put online, it also won’t show up. (I knew that this person had an older arrest, and I couldn’t find it.)
Keeping you in my prayers 6….I do believe since you have a gut feeling about this family, you should follow through with a background check….they are coming into your home around your family. Praying for wisdom and direction dear sister…..
I have mad sleuthing skills…
If you live in a rural area first start with looking up the county Sheriff’s office or county jail. Then type in the name and it will bring up their mug shot, and why they were arrested.
Every now an then I google my name.
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. A preliminary background check didn’t turn up anything on either of them, but I know I didn’t do much more than scratch the surface. I’m going to look into it further. I don’t like when I get these feelings that something isn’t right with a person or people, and there might be some safety issues involved. I’ve been wrong before (or at least have not been proven correct yet on suspicions I had about a couple of people many years ago), but there was one time the stepdad of a former piano student of mine came along to her lesson, and I had a vague sense that there was something off about him.
Some years later, after my student had moved away to go to college, her stepdad got arrested for something really creepy. Ew.
I think I might have to consider doing background checks before accepting new students who have one or two parents I don’t know. Especially since, like you say, NancyJill, these people are coming to my home, and on a regular basis, and where my family is, too. My husband is not home during my teaching hours, either, so that is an added reason I can’t be too careful in whom I allow into our home.
Stuff like this was not at all on my radar in my early years of teaching from home. 😦
Book Festival at the Primary School today. Such excitement. The children will all be putting on their costumes at lunchtime and kinder will lead the Parade.
6Arrows listen to yourself.
I was in Rainbow Girls growing up. Their was a kindly grandfather who brought his granddaughter to meetings. He always wanted to hug the girls. I would “jump out of my skin” rather than let him touch me. I would often “suddenly” need to go hide in the restroom. About 20 years later it came out that he had been molesting her all along.
The flip side of it is that about 3 years ago I met a man I had never met before and in about 5 minutes sized him up and flew across country with him AND took my child. I wouldn’t recommend that for just anyone, but we all love his wife. 😉
And you will never know how much that meant to me. I was in a bit of a state of shock and having you come alongside to help provide for my people was wonderful. The Touch of God.
Kim, yep, I’m going to listen to myself. (And, at the same time, try not to get too freaked out that this guy looks like a former prominent “patriarchy” leader who took a mighty tumble in recent years…people can’t help it if they resemble some unsavory character. It sometimes, does, admittedly, though, give me the creeps.)
My children all stay downstairs while I’m teaching upstairs, and my studio policy clearly delineates where in my home and on my property are acceptable places for my clients to be, which is nowhere near where my children are. Nobody has deviated from those boundaries, thankfully.
There are other (non-physical) boundaries this family has pushed against and violated in terms of other aspects of my policy, though, and I was anticipating there would be one or two issues last night when they were here, so I planned ahead for how I could deal with the problem(s) if need be.
Both issues came up, as I suspected they would, and although the dad indicated his acceptance of the terms, he didn’t look any too happy that I thwarted the process I’m pretty sure he thought he could sail through without impunity.
It would not surprise me if they don’t show up next week, and, frankly, that would be a welcome relief. That’ll get them an unexcused absence, and three of them in any period of time results in immediate dismissal.
I’m hoping, even though I enjoy teaching their child, that they back off and just withdraw or quit showing up,, and that they do so without seeking revenge. I could hardly sleep last night, worrying they might retaliate. I have a sense there may be some revenge-seeking tendencies in these people, a feeling that’s been growing stronger in my mind since they’ve been increasingly pushing boundaries in the last three months or so.
I don’t want to anger these people too much…thus my request for prayers for wisdom in dealing with them (in a way that wouldn’t potentially be harmful to my family).
A clearer way to write my first parenthetical statement above at 5:09 would have been, “And, at the same time, I’m going to try not to get too freaked out that this guy looks like a former prominent “patriarchy” leader…”
I wasn’t trying to tell any of you, “…try not to get too freaked out… 😉 I often make dumb mistakes like that in my writing.
Wandering Views 
I’ve had a growing sense of unease the last few months about one of my piano families, to the point where I’ve been having some physical safety concerns for myself. The mom and dad have been acting quite differently lately, and the student on one occasion mentioned something (not in the presence of his parents) to me that gave me pause, and that I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be too pleased to know that the student said anything to me. (Nothing illegal, that I can tell, but concerning.)
Prayers for wisdom as I deal with this family, and for freedom from fear, which may be unfounded anyway.
Also, what is the best way to look up whether someone has a criminal record?
Thank you.
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(You can answer on the daily thread, of course, if you’d prefer.)
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6 Arrows, criminal records are a matter of public record now, I believe. Problem is you may have to have the name just right, but your first step is to try google. Google “Joseph Smith” and if that brings you too many hits, then try “Joseph Smith Utah.” I once googled someone and didn’t find anything until I added his middle initial (which I happened to know) and then voila, up came an arrest report. I then paid the money to the police department and got the police report sent to me, no questions asked. (It was only five or six dollars for a big thick report, maybe less. They crossed out such things as the names of other people involved, but otherwise I had every page of the police report just for asking.)
If you don’t find anything that way, then you might call the police department and ask. But remember, if they haven’t done anything yet, they won’t have a record, and if they have done anything in another state before files starting being put online, it also won’t show up. (I knew that this person had an older arrest, and I couldn’t find it.)
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Keeping you in my prayers 6….I do believe since you have a gut feeling about this family, you should follow through with a background check….they are coming into your home around your family. Praying for wisdom and direction dear sister…..
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I have mad sleuthing skills…
If you live in a rural area first start with looking up the county Sheriff’s office or county jail. Then type in the name and it will bring up their mug shot, and why they were arrested.
Every now an then I google my name.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers. A preliminary background check didn’t turn up anything on either of them, but I know I didn’t do much more than scratch the surface. I’m going to look into it further. I don’t like when I get these feelings that something isn’t right with a person or people, and there might be some safety issues involved. I’ve been wrong before (or at least have not been proven correct yet on suspicions I had about a couple of people many years ago), but there was one time the stepdad of a former piano student of mine came along to her lesson, and I had a vague sense that there was something off about him.
Some years later, after my student had moved away to go to college, her stepdad got arrested for something really creepy. Ew.
I think I might have to consider doing background checks before accepting new students who have one or two parents I don’t know. Especially since, like you say, NancyJill, these people are coming to my home, and on a regular basis, and where my family is, too. My husband is not home during my teaching hours, either, so that is an added reason I can’t be too careful in whom I allow into our home.
Stuff like this was not at all on my radar in my early years of teaching from home. 😦
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Book Festival at the Primary School today. Such excitement. The children will all be putting on their costumes at lunchtime and kinder will lead the Parade.
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6Arrows listen to yourself.
I was in Rainbow Girls growing up. Their was a kindly grandfather who brought his granddaughter to meetings. He always wanted to hug the girls. I would “jump out of my skin” rather than let him touch me. I would often “suddenly” need to go hide in the restroom. About 20 years later it came out that he had been molesting her all along.
The flip side of it is that about 3 years ago I met a man I had never met before and in about 5 minutes sized him up and flew across country with him AND took my child. I wouldn’t recommend that for just anyone, but we all love his wife. 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
And you will never know how much that meant to me. I was in a bit of a state of shock and having you come alongside to help provide for my people was wonderful. The Touch of God.
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Amen.
Kim, yep, I’m going to listen to myself. (And, at the same time, try not to get too freaked out that this guy looks like a former prominent “patriarchy” leader who took a mighty tumble in recent years…people can’t help it if they resemble some unsavory character. It sometimes, does, admittedly, though, give me the creeps.)
My children all stay downstairs while I’m teaching upstairs, and my studio policy clearly delineates where in my home and on my property are acceptable places for my clients to be, which is nowhere near where my children are. Nobody has deviated from those boundaries, thankfully.
There are other (non-physical) boundaries this family has pushed against and violated in terms of other aspects of my policy, though, and I was anticipating there would be one or two issues last night when they were here, so I planned ahead for how I could deal with the problem(s) if need be.
Both issues came up, as I suspected they would, and although the dad indicated his acceptance of the terms, he didn’t look any too happy that I thwarted the process I’m pretty sure he thought he could sail through without impunity.
It would not surprise me if they don’t show up next week, and, frankly, that would be a welcome relief. That’ll get them an unexcused absence, and three of them in any period of time results in immediate dismissal.
I’m hoping, even though I enjoy teaching their child, that they back off and just withdraw or quit showing up,, and that they do so without seeking revenge. I could hardly sleep last night, worrying they might retaliate. I have a sense there may be some revenge-seeking tendencies in these people, a feeling that’s been growing stronger in my mind since they’ve been increasingly pushing boundaries in the last three months or so.
I don’t want to anger these people too much…thus my request for prayers for wisdom in dealing with them (in a way that wouldn’t potentially be harmful to my family).
LikeLiked by 1 person
A clearer way to write my first parenthetical statement above at 5:09 would have been, “And, at the same time, I’m going to try not to get too freaked out that this guy looks like a former prominent “patriarchy” leader…”
I wasn’t trying to tell any of you, “…try not to get too freaked out… 😉 I often make dumb mistakes like that in my writing.
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Anyone familiar with Gary Smalley? He went to be with the Lord recently.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/gleanings/2016/march/died-gary-smalley-author-marriage-making-love-last-forever.html?utm_source=ctdirect-html&utm_medium=Newsletter&utm_term=9474712&utm_content=421979021&utm_campaign=email
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Oops. Meant to put that on the daily thread. Sorry.
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Though I guess it could be a prayer request for his family.
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Praying, 6Arrows.
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Back and shoulder not getting better. Meds don’t help, Physical therapy don’t help, exercise don’t help.
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Praying, kBells.
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I’m very sorry, KBells. Praying.
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Praying.
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