Forgive me while I have a moment here…
3am to about 6am is the worst time of the day for me. That is when the weight of the world descends upon me and I worry and panic. While I am awake I can control my thoughts. Once I relax and go to sleep I can’t. I tossed and turned until I gave up at 5:30. I cried and I prayed. I checked email this morning and found this from CEO:
Bring positive energy
At times, other people will disappoint you. But that doesn’t mean you have to be disappointing in return.
In some cases, people will frustrate you with their recklessness and irritate you with their thoughtlessness. Yet the best response is not to be even more reckless or thoughtless yourself.
On the contrary, you have the opportunity to lead life and to lead others in a more positive direction. Yes, it takes strength and maturity, and yes you have it and can do it.
Imagine transforming a confrontational situation into an experience of cooperation and mutual respect. Imagine being the person to do that, and how quietly satisfying it feels.
Sure, it is naive to think you can resolve every conflict. But it is foolish to neglect the very real opportunities to work through differences in a peaceful and productive way.
See if you can swallow your disappointment and irritation, and look instead for ways to bring positive energy to negative situations. Chances are, you’ll make the difference that will make things better.
— Ralph Marston
Tip1: Thinking about Doing- One of the biggest mistakes that people make is to not give enough thought to the specific action they are taking in their life.
Tip 2:Thinking about Thinking- Understanding and releasing those negative thought patterns about your self will allow you to bring in different and contrasting positive thoughts about yourself.
Tip 3: Thinking about a Positive You- The way you think and the things that you do from now on have to focus on the positive vision or image of yourself that you have within your mind. Embrace who you want to be.
I try. Honestly I try. Right behind this was an email I set up yesterday on a property we have listed. I showed from Guy and I didn’t at first remember that I set it to go out to every agent in the county. My first thought was “Oh God, what did I do wrong that he forwarded this to me?” The past eleven years have been a challenge. I can look back and trace most of it to a decision I made. If I can’t blame other (see above) I can only blame myself. I have begged God for forgivenessa. I have confessed all to my former priest and gone through the reconciliation of the sinner (I know, God is the only one who can forgive me, but it felt good to lay down my burden and have someone else tell me that God forgave me).
I am terrified something is going to happen and the loan won’t go through and once again my emotions will be jerked around.
When is enough, enough?
Sometimes you have to let go of your wants & hopeful expectations, & just say, “Whatever you want for me, God, I accept.”
Years ago, NancyJill (Jillanne at the time) wrote about giving up to God her hopes & desires, as a sacrifice to Him. The very day I read her words, I had been lamenting that something I had dearly hoped for was not happening, was slipping away. God used her words to help me sacrifice that hope to Him & let it go.
Yeah, it hurts to do so, but a peace will come eventually (sometimes very quickly).
I think doing so is a way of acknowledging that we are not the ones in control of our destinies, that God is, & that we trust Him, come what may. It is a further dying to self, & it is not easy.
I write this from experience. Either God will take that sacrifice & give you back what you thought you had lost, or He will fill you with peace, & bless you in some other, unexpected way.
Quite frankly, if I were in your shoes, Kim (& in my own way, I am), I wouldn’t want to read what I just wrote. But I offer this with love & caring. If the worst happens, if it all falls apart, God is still with you, still in control. (And yes, I will pray it does not fall apart on you.)
Maybe BG is like my Emily. She needs to get hit with the metaphorical 2×4 before she learns. Letting her fail & flail may be just what she needs. (Advice I should have used with Emily when she was a teen, & regret not doing so.)
BTW, what was I lamenting on the day I read NancyJill’s words? I was lamenting that Emily was not going through with her plan to leave R. They were making other plans which involved them moving into his (atheist) parents’ house.
That very night, R went over the line by hijacking her Facebook page & having control of her cell phone, He was drunk, & wrote some vile things on Facebook, & some vile, sexually explicit texts to my SIL & niece (who were trying to get in touch with Emily after seeing what R wrote on her Facebook page). Emily was actually sleeping through all this, but she awoke to hear him telling Forrest, who was 11 months old at the time, bad things about her.
She moved home the very next day.
Would that have happened anyway? My thought on that is no, at least not at that time. I think God wanted me to give up my own “holding on” to that desire & our plans, & to let it be Him who made it happen.
My father is doing well. Somewhat sore, but that keeps him from overdoing it. He isn’t allowed to lift anything over 5 lb. for 3 weeks; but he is so strong that he tends to underestimate the weight of an object.
Don’t GED it. There is a better option, and it isn’t as frowned upon by employers as the GED is. Your state may offer an equivalency test, if so, take advantage of it. And once she passes it, tell her rent is do the first so she better find a full time job quick. 🙂
I have offered GED and Homeschooling. She wants to go to school and graduate. So I let her fail and then GED or equivalency test.
Of course having been a teacher, and living in a small town I know all of her teachers think I suck as an uninvolved parent.
I think also that early morning hours are hard for many of us when it comes to worrying and fears — for some reason, everything that may be going wrong hits me much harder first thing in the morning (or, if I can’t sleep, especially when I come awake in the early morning hours before dawn, those are the worst).
I force my thoughts to flee to Jesus during that time (something I read a long time ago about doing that the MOMENT you awaken, especially if you’re dealing with some fears or are in an uncertain time of life — which in reality seems like most of the time for most people, life can be hard, amen?).
I pray and try, as best I can, to dwell on his sufficiency in all things, his sovereignty in all things, his love and care for me in all things — seeking to be more trusting in him, knowing & reminding myself, over and over, that whatever comes, it comes through his hands and it is all for His glory — and for my (spiritual) good.
I’m not very good with words, Kim, so I’ll skip trying to overcome that handicap right now and just offer you a couple of book titles by authors who are much more gifted than I in expressing some thoughts you may find helpful. If the titles sound interesting or beneficial to you, as they were (are) to me, feel free to check them out. If not, no offense taken on my part.
Switch On Your Brain: The Key to Peak Happiness, Thinking, and Health by Dr. Caroline Leaf.
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, by Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW
I read the first book in its entirety, and am about 3/4 of the way through the second. Both have been helpful to me when I’ve felt like life is spiraling out of control, and at other times when things are just plain overwhelming.
If I were hiring someone with a GED, the first question I asked would be “Why the GED?”
The answer had better be something besides, “I was tired of studying”.
I can’t think of a good answer.
Except, I have a nephew who has s good answer.
He had difficult teen years.
When he turned 18, he joined the marines.
After 12 years, he got out and applied to college.
He graduated from some university in California.
He now has a master’s degree. He was a two week old at our wedding. So he’s 58 by now and seems to be doing well.
My guess is all her teachers feel sorry for you and are shaking their heads. (I’m a daughter and sister of teachers).
My question is, “why is she wasting her time?”
What good does it do for her to (not) go to school in the morning? Maybe she’d rather work full time and skip it all.
I was sick of high school by Christmas and only wanted out. I didn’t turn 18 until June, so that wasn’t an option, especially since I was headed to college and needed to finish classes to be accepted.
But that’s not her situation. What does she want?
But you know what, you need to pay attention to other things, Kim. Finish your job, get your house, move, resort your life. This is just another way she can control you and she’s not a child anymore. 😦
I’d be crying myself, however, if I was in your situation.
Just trying to give you a little perspective. I deleted the much longer response based on a situation I’m way too familiar with about another child who wanted to get a diploma but couldn’t be bothered to do what was required. 😦
I think the GED is an alternative for some. Maybe you’re too old, maybe you’re tired of school, maybe you don’t want to go to college, maybe you need to help support your family, maybe your school is too dangerous for you to attend. Maybe you’re being bullied and someone is threatening you. Maybe your family had to move and rather than start another high school your senior year, you just finished.
All sorts of reasons to get a GED. I think it can be important and effective for some students and I appreciate it’s there.
Forgive me, all. Strike my comments. This is too close to what I’ve been dealing with with others in my life and I’m reacting to that frustration. Feel free to delete. I’m sorry, Kim. I should not have said anything.
No need to apologize Michelle. I am frustrated with her too. I have promised her that in a few months this will all be behind her.
My frustration is that I really think she is smart on a lot of levels. I am at the point of saying I am done. You can pass, you can fail and when you can’t graduate with your class you can get a GED and figure out what is next. Rent is due the first of the month.
Kim. Kim. Kim…..you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. You can provide a child with an education, but you can’t make her learn. She is eighteen, (where one of mine will be in two weeks) and she wants the social life of school (as does mine). She is not interested in learning (nor is mine). Let her make her decisions and live with the consequences. You should not be giving her any money at this stage, no gas money, no phone, etc. Her sole responsibility is to get her education. Her job is to pay for her extras, gas, phone, etc. She is choosing not to. That is okay, she is not the first and will not be the last. Many change their minds later and excel. Chas mentioned one. You have raised her. It is on her. It does not reflect on you at all. Each child is unique and is given different help to the end. They either make it or they don’t but the majority do, even though their parents are tearing their hair out thinking it has all gone wrong. Just yesterday, we were at the annual eye appointment for the seven, he asked if he could have contacts. The desk person explained that it would be thirty dollars for the contact exam. I asked if he was paying. He decided he would like glasses instead.
Praising God knowing only He is up to meeting our health, medical costs, and business situation concerns. Sometimes I do not know how to pray or what to ask prayer for, but God has even got that covered! He is so worthy of praise through it all.
6 Arrows, from what I understand, a very large percentage of people flunk the drivers test the first time. One of my two did.
FWIW, most of my siblings got their GEDs, and half of them went on to get college degrees, and the other half have never needed a college degree. (One is a stay-at-home mom, one makes a good living at things he enjoys doing.) I’d say it’s her job to figure out what she wants to do next, but if she is “finished” with school for now, then yes, she owes you rent and she needs to pay for some of her expenses. She can’t just be lazy, but she can figure out through experience that things are easier with at least a high school education.
I had no trouble graduating high school but I wasn’t all that into studying, either.
when I wound up at a community college a few months later (after a full-time summer job didn’t work out so well), it was like a new world, I fell in love with it and got really good grades throughout college.
So you can’t always tell, that period in the late teens can be a real sea-change in attitude and interests.
I struggled in high school, though I did not do any homework or schoolwork. I attended. And graduated. Then went on to college where I knew nothing about studying or doing schoolwork. I dropped out. My life has been very very good.
Thanks for the prayers for 3rd Arrow. She spent some extended time alone in our woods this afternoon (something she enjoys doing from time to time), and she came back in pretty good spirits. She’ll be OK.
One of her two older siblings also failed the first time. I know it is fairly common. Both hubby and I passed the first time, but I remember with my siblings that only my brother, and none of my three sisters, passed the first one. One or more of them may have failed a second time, too, if I recall correctly. My mom failed the first time, too.
I don’t know when she’ll retake the test. She’s required to wait a certain length of time before trying again, but I’m not sure she (or her dad or I) will want her to retake it right away at the beginning of the eligibility period.
Two of our boys flunked it the first time around. They had to wait two days. They would have prefered to wait longer, but since they had just barely missed, we encouraged them to get it done before they forgot what they did know. One drives quite a bit, the other drives almost never. But he has it in case he needs it.
While I was learning to drive, my pastor commented that he flunked the test the first time he took it . . . because he went the wrong way on a one-way street. I thought, How on earth could you do that? I assumed all one-way streets were clearly marked, but the reality was we didn’t really have any in the town where I learned to drive, a suburb of Phoenix.
When I took my test, I did OK, except for one portion. The instructor told me to turn left, and I looked at two parallel streets with a narrow area of shrubbery and grass between. I asked, “Which street?” With clenched teeth, she said, “It’s a one-way street,” and then I knew which one to take. But it just had never occurred to me that not all intersections with one-way streets are marked as such. Now it’s perfectly obvious, but I simply didn’t have experience with such.
But theoretically I could have turned left on the first of those two streets, and thus flunked my driving test too. And if I had had to do parallel parking, I probably would have done so, since my training on that was minimal and poor (using cardboard boxes). Given a chance on my test between parallel parking and backing up between two lines of cones, I chose backing up between two lines of cones.
1st Arrow’s only problem was that overall he was driving too slowly. That was an easy fix for the second time around.
3rd Arrow’s problems were more numerous and serious with the situations she encountered, and she’s required to wait seven days. (There are also 1-day and 14-day wait periods.)
The examiner did say she doesn’t have any problems with control of the vehicle, though, which is good. She just struggles with inattention (with a lot of things, not just driving), which is why we knew she would not have been able to operate a motor vehicle at age 15 or 16, and waited until she was 17 to take driver’s training.
It’s still hard for her, though, even though she’s been driving for over a year now. And nervousness likely played a role today, too, in her inability to process some of what was happening around her.
My sister-in-law went out with some friends to celebrate a birthday, and the friend who was driving was flossing her teeth while “driving” with her knees, through a construction zone on an interstate with oncoming traffic at 55 mph.
But the tester was a sourpuss, so grumpy, he hardly spoke, only scowled the whole time. Made me really nervous.
At some point he asked me to turn left. Ah, an easy one. I flipped on the turn signal and came to a stop at the red light to wait for the green signal to turn left.
But while I was sitting there, he started writing.
What’s he doing, I thought?
Then I noticed I was not in the left-hand turn pocket, but in the regular drive lane. Longest 30 seconds ever, the sound of that turn signal going CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. As the instructor scribbled some more on the test sheet.
He told me to just go straight when the light turned green, and then didn’t utter a single word all the way back to the DMV.
I was crushed. I was such a good driver, really.
But I passed ok the next time (I think they made you wait maybe a couple months back then?).
Years later I needed to find a feature story and decided to go interview instructors and testers at the DMV for their funniest “scary driver” stories.
I am not sure that GED has the stigma it once did. The situations of some schools makes GED the wiser choice. I think getting a GED might show creativity and allow a young person to focus more in depth on subjects they find interesting and learning skills not taught in school.
Oop! I went to sleep before posting this. Does thst mean I am tired?
The Navy recruiters told the boys to get a diploma as a GDE is not what they are looking for. We tell the boys that a GDE is more difficult than it used to be but it is a solution. It will close some doors and open some doors. As Chas said, why did you go GDE is an important question.
Wandering Views 
Forgive me while I have a moment here…
3am to about 6am is the worst time of the day for me. That is when the weight of the world descends upon me and I worry and panic. While I am awake I can control my thoughts. Once I relax and go to sleep I can’t. I tossed and turned until I gave up at 5:30. I cried and I prayed. I checked email this morning and found this from CEO:
Bring positive energy
At times, other people will disappoint you. But that doesn’t mean you have to be disappointing in return.
In some cases, people will frustrate you with their recklessness and irritate you with their thoughtlessness. Yet the best response is not to be even more reckless or thoughtless yourself.
On the contrary, you have the opportunity to lead life and to lead others in a more positive direction. Yes, it takes strength and maturity, and yes you have it and can do it.
Imagine transforming a confrontational situation into an experience of cooperation and mutual respect. Imagine being the person to do that, and how quietly satisfying it feels.
Sure, it is naive to think you can resolve every conflict. But it is foolish to neglect the very real opportunities to work through differences in a peaceful and productive way.
See if you can swallow your disappointment and irritation, and look instead for ways to bring positive energy to negative situations. Chances are, you’ll make the difference that will make things better.
— Ralph Marston
Tip1: Thinking about Doing- One of the biggest mistakes that people make is to not give enough thought to the specific action they are taking in their life.
Tip 2:Thinking about Thinking- Understanding and releasing those negative thought patterns about your self will allow you to bring in different and contrasting positive thoughts about yourself.
Tip 3: Thinking about a Positive You- The way you think and the things that you do from now on have to focus on the positive vision or image of yourself that you have within your mind. Embrace who you want to be.
I try. Honestly I try. Right behind this was an email I set up yesterday on a property we have listed. I showed from Guy and I didn’t at first remember that I set it to go out to every agent in the county. My first thought was “Oh God, what did I do wrong that he forwarded this to me?” The past eleven years have been a challenge. I can look back and trace most of it to a decision I made. If I can’t blame other (see above) I can only blame myself. I have begged God for forgivenessa. I have confessed all to my former priest and gone through the reconciliation of the sinner (I know, God is the only one who can forgive me, but it felt good to lay down my burden and have someone else tell me that God forgave me).
I am terrified something is going to happen and the loan won’t go through and once again my emotions will be jerked around.
When is enough, enough?
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BG is making D and F’s and has missed too much school already. I don’t know how to make her care.
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Sometimes you have to let go of your wants & hopeful expectations, & just say, “Whatever you want for me, God, I accept.”
Years ago, NancyJill (Jillanne at the time) wrote about giving up to God her hopes & desires, as a sacrifice to Him. The very day I read her words, I had been lamenting that something I had dearly hoped for was not happening, was slipping away. God used her words to help me sacrifice that hope to Him & let it go.
Yeah, it hurts to do so, but a peace will come eventually (sometimes very quickly).
I think doing so is a way of acknowledging that we are not the ones in control of our destinies, that God is, & that we trust Him, come what may. It is a further dying to self, & it is not easy.
I write this from experience. Either God will take that sacrifice & give you back what you thought you had lost, or He will fill you with peace, & bless you in some other, unexpected way.
Quite frankly, if I were in your shoes, Kim (& in my own way, I am), I wouldn’t want to read what I just wrote. But I offer this with love & caring. If the worst happens, if it all falls apart, God is still with you, still in control. (And yes, I will pray it does not fall apart on you.)
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Maybe BG is like my Emily. She needs to get hit with the metaphorical 2×4 before she learns. Letting her fail & flail may be just what she needs. (Advice I should have used with Emily when she was a teen, & regret not doing so.)
BTW, what was I lamenting on the day I read NancyJill’s words? I was lamenting that Emily was not going through with her plan to leave R. They were making other plans which involved them moving into his (atheist) parents’ house.
That very night, R went over the line by hijacking her Facebook page & having control of her cell phone, He was drunk, & wrote some vile things on Facebook, & some vile, sexually explicit texts to my SIL & niece (who were trying to get in touch with Emily after seeing what R wrote on her Facebook page). Emily was actually sleeping through all this, but she awoke to hear him telling Forrest, who was 11 months old at the time, bad things about her.
She moved home the very next day.
Would that have happened anyway? My thought on that is no, at least not at that time. I think God wanted me to give up my own “holding on” to that desire & our plans, & to let it be Him who made it happen.
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My father is doing well. Somewhat sore, but that keeps him from overdoing it. He isn’t allowed to lift anything over 5 lb. for 3 weeks; but he is so strong that he tends to underestimate the weight of an object.
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You know what? She’s 18. GED it and be done. Why go through the motions and break her more?
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Kim,
AJ here.
Don’t GED it. There is a better option, and it isn’t as frowned upon by employers as the GED is. Your state may offer an equivalency test, if so, take advantage of it. And once she passes it, tell her rent is do the first so she better find a full time job quick. 🙂
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I have offered GED and Homeschooling. She wants to go to school and graduate. So I let her fail and then GED or equivalency test.
Of course having been a teacher, and living in a small town I know all of her teachers think I suck as an uninvolved parent.
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Prayers, Kim.
I think also that early morning hours are hard for many of us when it comes to worrying and fears — for some reason, everything that may be going wrong hits me much harder first thing in the morning (or, if I can’t sleep, especially when I come awake in the early morning hours before dawn, those are the worst).
I force my thoughts to flee to Jesus during that time (something I read a long time ago about doing that the MOMENT you awaken, especially if you’re dealing with some fears or are in an uncertain time of life — which in reality seems like most of the time for most people, life can be hard, amen?).
I pray and try, as best I can, to dwell on his sufficiency in all things, his sovereignty in all things, his love and care for me in all things — seeking to be more trusting in him, knowing & reminding myself, over and over, that whatever comes, it comes through his hands and it is all for His glory — and for my (spiritual) good.
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I’m not very good with words, Kim, so I’ll skip trying to overcome that handicap right now and just offer you a couple of book titles by authors who are much more gifted than I in expressing some thoughts you may find helpful. If the titles sound interesting or beneficial to you, as they were (are) to me, feel free to check them out. If not, no offense taken on my part.
Switch On Your Brain: The Key to Peak Happiness, Thinking, and Health by Dr. Caroline Leaf.
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, by Brene Brown, Ph.D., LMSW
I read the first book in its entirety, and am about 3/4 of the way through the second. Both have been helpful to me when I’ve felt like life is spiraling out of control, and at other times when things are just plain overwhelming.
Praying for you.
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If I were hiring someone with a GED, the first question I asked would be “Why the GED?”
The answer had better be something besides, “I was tired of studying”.
I can’t think of a good answer.
Except, I have a nephew who has s good answer.
He had difficult teen years.
When he turned 18, he joined the marines.
After 12 years, he got out and applied to college.
He graduated from some university in California.
He now has a master’s degree. He was a two week old at our wedding. So he’s 58 by now and seems to be doing well.
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My guess is all her teachers feel sorry for you and are shaking their heads. (I’m a daughter and sister of teachers).
My question is, “why is she wasting her time?”
What good does it do for her to (not) go to school in the morning? Maybe she’d rather work full time and skip it all.
I was sick of high school by Christmas and only wanted out. I didn’t turn 18 until June, so that wasn’t an option, especially since I was headed to college and needed to finish classes to be accepted.
But that’s not her situation. What does she want?
But you know what, you need to pay attention to other things, Kim. Finish your job, get your house, move, resort your life. This is just another way she can control you and she’s not a child anymore. 😦
I’d be crying myself, however, if I was in your situation.
Just trying to give you a little perspective. I deleted the much longer response based on a situation I’m way too familiar with about another child who wanted to get a diploma but couldn’t be bothered to do what was required. 😦
xoxoxo
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I think the GED is an alternative for some. Maybe you’re too old, maybe you’re tired of school, maybe you don’t want to go to college, maybe you need to help support your family, maybe your school is too dangerous for you to attend. Maybe you’re being bullied and someone is threatening you. Maybe your family had to move and rather than start another high school your senior year, you just finished.
All sorts of reasons to get a GED. I think it can be important and effective for some students and I appreciate it’s there.
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Forgive me, all. Strike my comments. This is too close to what I’ve been dealing with with others in my life and I’m reacting to that frustration. Feel free to delete. I’m sorry, Kim. I should not have said anything.
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No need to apologize Michelle. I am frustrated with her too. I have promised her that in a few months this will all be behind her.
My frustration is that I really think she is smart on a lot of levels. I am at the point of saying I am done. You can pass, you can fail and when you can’t graduate with your class you can get a GED and figure out what is next. Rent is due the first of the month.
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Kim. Kim. Kim…..you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. You can provide a child with an education, but you can’t make her learn. She is eighteen, (where one of mine will be in two weeks) and she wants the social life of school (as does mine). She is not interested in learning (nor is mine). Let her make her decisions and live with the consequences. You should not be giving her any money at this stage, no gas money, no phone, etc. Her sole responsibility is to get her education. Her job is to pay for her extras, gas, phone, etc. She is choosing not to. That is okay, she is not the first and will not be the last. Many change their minds later and excel. Chas mentioned one. You have raised her. It is on her. It does not reflect on you at all. Each child is unique and is given different help to the end. They either make it or they don’t but the majority do, even though their parents are tearing their hair out thinking it has all gone wrong. Just yesterday, we were at the annual eye appointment for the seven, he asked if he could have contacts. The desk person explained that it would be thirty dollars for the contact exam. I asked if he was paying. He decided he would like glasses instead.
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Eighteen year old failed her driving test today. She has a lot of struggles, and is feeling very down right now.
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Prayers please as I head off for the last day of parent conferences. I am having one with the parents of the student I am so concerned about.
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eighteen year olds……praying, Six.
And Jo.
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Praising God knowing only He is up to meeting our health, medical costs, and business situation concerns. Sometimes I do not know how to pray or what to ask prayer for, but God has even got that covered! He is so worthy of praise through it all.
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6 Arrows, from what I understand, a very large percentage of people flunk the drivers test the first time. One of my two did.
FWIW, most of my siblings got their GEDs, and half of them went on to get college degrees, and the other half have never needed a college degree. (One is a stay-at-home mom, one makes a good living at things he enjoys doing.) I’d say it’s her job to figure out what she wants to do next, but if she is “finished” with school for now, then yes, she owes you rent and she needs to pay for some of her expenses. She can’t just be lazy, but she can figure out through experience that things are easier with at least a high school education.
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I flunked the first time too (cheryl is shocked, SHOCKED 😯 ) .
.
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I had no trouble graduating high school but I wasn’t all that into studying, either.
when I wound up at a community college a few months later (after a full-time summer job didn’t work out so well), it was like a new world, I fell in love with it and got really good grades throughout college.
So you can’t always tell, that period in the late teens can be a real sea-change in attitude and interests.
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I struggled in high school, though I did not do any homework or schoolwork. I attended. And graduated. Then went on to college where I knew nothing about studying or doing schoolwork. I dropped out. My life has been very very good.
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Thanks for the prayers for 3rd Arrow. She spent some extended time alone in our woods this afternoon (something she enjoys doing from time to time), and she came back in pretty good spirits. She’ll be OK.
One of her two older siblings also failed the first time. I know it is fairly common. Both hubby and I passed the first time, but I remember with my siblings that only my brother, and none of my three sisters, passed the first one. One or more of them may have failed a second time, too, if I recall correctly. My mom failed the first time, too.
I don’t know when she’ll retake the test. She’s required to wait a certain length of time before trying again, but I’m not sure she (or her dad or I) will want her to retake it right away at the beginning of the eligibility period.
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Two of our boys flunked it the first time around. They had to wait two days. They would have prefered to wait longer, but since they had just barely missed, we encouraged them to get it done before they forgot what they did know. One drives quite a bit, the other drives almost never. But he has it in case he needs it.
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Well, I didn’t flunk my driving test, but . . .
While I was learning to drive, my pastor commented that he flunked the test the first time he took it . . . because he went the wrong way on a one-way street. I thought, How on earth could you do that? I assumed all one-way streets were clearly marked, but the reality was we didn’t really have any in the town where I learned to drive, a suburb of Phoenix.
When I took my test, I did OK, except for one portion. The instructor told me to turn left, and I looked at two parallel streets with a narrow area of shrubbery and grass between. I asked, “Which street?” With clenched teeth, she said, “It’s a one-way street,” and then I knew which one to take. But it just had never occurred to me that not all intersections with one-way streets are marked as such. Now it’s perfectly obvious, but I simply didn’t have experience with such.
But theoretically I could have turned left on the first of those two streets, and thus flunked my driving test too. And if I had had to do parallel parking, I probably would have done so, since my training on that was minimal and poor (using cardboard boxes). Given a chance on my test between parallel parking and backing up between two lines of cones, I chose backing up between two lines of cones.
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1st Arrow’s only problem was that overall he was driving too slowly. That was an easy fix for the second time around.
3rd Arrow’s problems were more numerous and serious with the situations she encountered, and she’s required to wait seven days. (There are also 1-day and 14-day wait periods.)
The examiner did say she doesn’t have any problems with control of the vehicle, though, which is good. She just struggles with inattention (with a lot of things, not just driving), which is why we knew she would not have been able to operate a motor vehicle at age 15 or 16, and waited until she was 17 to take driver’s training.
It’s still hard for her, though, even though she’s been driving for over a year now. And nervousness likely played a role today, too, in her inability to process some of what was happening around her.
Thanks again for the prayers.
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My sister-in-law went out with some friends to celebrate a birthday, and the friend who was driving was flossing her teeth while “driving” with her knees, through a construction zone on an interstate with oncoming traffic at 55 mph.
SIL said next time *she* will volunteer to drive!
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Oh, I drove plenty fast for the driver’s test.
But the tester was a sourpuss, so grumpy, he hardly spoke, only scowled the whole time. Made me really nervous.
At some point he asked me to turn left. Ah, an easy one. I flipped on the turn signal and came to a stop at the red light to wait for the green signal to turn left.
But while I was sitting there, he started writing.
What’s he doing, I thought?
Then I noticed I was not in the left-hand turn pocket, but in the regular drive lane. Longest 30 seconds ever, the sound of that turn signal going CLICK. CLICK. CLICK. As the instructor scribbled some more on the test sheet.
He told me to just go straight when the light turned green, and then didn’t utter a single word all the way back to the DMV.
I was crushed. I was such a good driver, really.
But I passed ok the next time (I think they made you wait maybe a couple months back then?).
Years later I needed to find a feature story and decided to go interview instructors and testers at the DMV for their funniest “scary driver” stories.
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I am not sure that GED has the stigma it once did. The situations of some schools makes GED the wiser choice. I think getting a GED might show creativity and allow a young person to focus more in depth on subjects they find interesting and learning skills not taught in school.
Oop! I went to sleep before posting this. Does thst mean I am tired?
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The Navy recruiters told the boys to get a diploma as a GDE is not what they are looking for. We tell the boys that a GDE is more difficult than it used to be but it is a solution. It will close some doors and open some doors. As Chas said, why did you go GDE is an important question.
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