Norma goes to her oncologist this afternoon, this is her first appointment since the diagnosis saying the sarcoma had returned to her liver. Pray for some kind of treatment that she can tolerate — mostly pray that the doctor can hold out at least a small hope for some disease management they can try, that he just doesn’t tell her, ‘well, that’s that, there’s absolutely nothing we can offer at this point, you have X number of months.’
I sense she’s feeling (understandably) discouraged, so even a bit of hope — the idea that “we’re doing something, not nothing” — to hang onto would be good.
Donna, Sometimes I think it would be best to be honest with a cancer patient. He may tell her she has 6 months and she only has 3, but she could get her affairs in order and make an effort to spend time with those she loves. Isn’t she in her 70’s or 80’s and has had cancer before? This can’t be a shock to her.
I know I sound stone cold and heartless, but it was better for me to hear from the doctor that I only had about a month with my dad—I got 6 days, but there was nothing left unsaid.
I hear what you’re saying Kim, but I think maybe you misunderstood me
I think all doctors are pretty honest (as they should be and as we should want them to be), I certainly wasn’t suggesting the lie to her or lead her on — only hoping that the condition wasn’t so far advanced and that perhaps there would still be something by way of a treatment to help manage (and maybe extend) whatever time was left.
But, at any rate, you were spot on, as it turned out. The doctor said she has about 6 months, it’s stage 4 and very aggressive, nothing to be done. Her affairs have long been in order, this original cancer diagnosis came last summer (then the surgery in November was hoped to buy her perhaps 5 more years). She’s been mentally and spiritually braced for this. Her friends, not so much. 😦
When I said I was sorry, she said, “No, say Amen. I’m 81 and I’m tired.” She sounded good and generally has taken the news well throughout. And, no, it’s not a shock — but it has been a bitter blow for all of us around her, I think.
At any rate, keep her in your prayers and her friends as well as we navigate the road ahead. She’s also facing having to put her cat down at some point as he’s suffering from neuropathy and is having lots of trouble just walking and standing, but all in good time. He’s still eating and she’s had cats for decades, she said she knows when “it’s time.”
Unfortunately, the church friend who took her to the doctor today told she had tomorrow and Friday off if she wanted to schedule the euthanasia for one of those days she could help. I know the friend meant well, but sheesh.
I do hope I’d have been more sensitive than that. It just wasn’t the day or the time to deal with any more heartache than was really necessary.
But heavens, I would never suggest a doctor not be honest — I only was hoping there genuinely would be a little more they could do at this point. Guess I didn’t phrase it very well.
Wandering Views 
Jill and Jace go to the hemotologist today. Results will be back tomorrow. Thanks for prayers; it’s looking good and while exhausted, Jill is okay.
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Norma goes to her oncologist this afternoon, this is her first appointment since the diagnosis saying the sarcoma had returned to her liver. Pray for some kind of treatment that she can tolerate — mostly pray that the doctor can hold out at least a small hope for some disease management they can try, that he just doesn’t tell her, ‘well, that’s that, there’s absolutely nothing we can offer at this point, you have X number of months.’
I sense she’s feeling (understandably) discouraged, so even a bit of hope — the idea that “we’re doing something, not nothing” — to hang onto would be good.
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Donna, Sometimes I think it would be best to be honest with a cancer patient. He may tell her she has 6 months and she only has 3, but she could get her affairs in order and make an effort to spend time with those she loves. Isn’t she in her 70’s or 80’s and has had cancer before? This can’t be a shock to her.
I know I sound stone cold and heartless, but it was better for me to hear from the doctor that I only had about a month with my dad—I got 6 days, but there was nothing left unsaid.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hear what you’re saying Kim, but I think maybe you misunderstood me
I think all doctors are pretty honest (as they should be and as we should want them to be), I certainly wasn’t suggesting the lie to her or lead her on — only hoping that the condition wasn’t so far advanced and that perhaps there would still be something by way of a treatment to help manage (and maybe extend) whatever time was left.
But, at any rate, you were spot on, as it turned out. The doctor said she has about 6 months, it’s stage 4 and very aggressive, nothing to be done. Her affairs have long been in order, this original cancer diagnosis came last summer (then the surgery in November was hoped to buy her perhaps 5 more years). She’s been mentally and spiritually braced for this. Her friends, not so much. 😦
When I said I was sorry, she said, “No, say Amen. I’m 81 and I’m tired.” She sounded good and generally has taken the news well throughout. And, no, it’s not a shock — but it has been a bitter blow for all of us around her, I think.
At any rate, keep her in your prayers and her friends as well as we navigate the road ahead. She’s also facing having to put her cat down at some point as he’s suffering from neuropathy and is having lots of trouble just walking and standing, but all in good time. He’s still eating and she’s had cats for decades, she said she knows when “it’s time.”
Unfortunately, the church friend who took her to the doctor today told she had tomorrow and Friday off if she wanted to schedule the euthanasia for one of those days she could help. I know the friend meant well, but sheesh.
I do hope I’d have been more sensitive than that. It just wasn’t the day or the time to deal with any more heartache than was really necessary.
LikeLiked by 1 person
But heavens, I would never suggest a doctor not be honest — I only was hoping there genuinely would be a little more they could do at this point. Guess I didn’t phrase it very well.
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