Well, as I posted my request for prayers fairly late last night, I’m posting again today… I need prayers for my sorrowful heart. I’m having a hard time emotionally with my mom’s health problems and my dad’s bewildering denial of her long-term alcoholism. Additionally, Hubby and I got in a fight about money Tuesday night (he thinks I’ve spent too much on Christmas), and we haven’t spoken since. This hurts, especially right now, as I’ve wanted to share with him about family-of-origin issues and he’s basically ignoring me. He hasn’t even asked once how my mom is doing since her surgery Tuesday. Not exactly a model of compassion, his heart can be very hard at times. Prayers, please.
Oh, Ann, I’m just so sorry. Give yourself some space and cry your eyes out–I’m not sure there is anything better to do. The Lord knows your heart and your circumstances, but grieving–and that’s what you need to do–is always important.
And love your husband. He probably doesn’t know what to do with the emotions either. He can’t fix your mother for you, and I’m sure he sees how hurt you are.
Why not beat the rugs or clean the house? That’s what I do when I’m angry and overwhelmed. It gets some of the emotions out of me and is constructive. Cook a good dinner, too. That will help.
My daughter was very excited about her interview, really, really, really wants the job and is hoping for a call back for a second interview today. Pray God’s will. This is all good and she is so very excited. The mama in me really, really, really, wants her to get this job, too–for her sake–but only if this comes from God, of course.. 🙂
Praying for you Ann…after you finish with Donna’s floors, I have at least two large area rugs that need a good beating!! 😛 Seriously….when my heart is hurting, I sit in the soaking tub and just cry my eyes out…asking our Lord to heal the pain of brokenness….love you sister ❤
Ann, do you have the book For Women Only? At a male friend’s recommendation, I read it before I married (before I’d even met my hubby, actually, though only a few months before) and found it amazingly helpful in understanding men. There are a few places when she over-emphasizes something–I know that not all men want a size 2 wife, for example–but overall it can be extremely helpful.
I mention the book because a few days ago I saw that there was a new edition out. I’d been wanting to pass along my copy anyway, so I decided to order the new one and see what has changed. Just now I read the back cover and looked up the new chapter . . . and it’s chapter 4, “The Thinker: When Checking Out Is Actually Checking In.” It is about how many men require space to think when a subject is emotionally overwhelming, and sometimes that space may be a few days. Immediately I thought of you.
You can probably see some of it on amazon in the “search inside this book” section, if you key in “husband had quietly left the house” (that’s on p. 71, the first page of the chapter). But if you haven’t read the book, it’s an easy read and quite helpful.
Ann – When I had that painful experience with my husband recently, I shot off an email to my dear friend & spiritual mentor, Marilyn. Marilyn has been a pastor’s wife for forty years, & is a down-to-earth lady with a lot of spiritual wisdom.
She shared with me about how her husband said some very hurtful things to her when he was going through a crisis a few years ago. She said that our husbands often will say or do hurtful things, especially when they are under pressure of some sort, but not even realize how very much they’ve hurt us. It is up to us to carry on, love them anyway, & pray through the situation. (The next day, Lee acted as though nothing had happened, & was in a good mood, so I just went with his flow.)
As close as a marriage can be, or as wonderful as our husbands can be, they cannot be all we think we need from them, & we can’t be all they think they need from us. But Jesus is our all in all.
Praying for comfort for you, along with the peace that transcends understanding, & for reconciliation in your marriage, & in your family, & also deliverance & healing for your mom & dad. God bless you, dear sister.
Cheryl – I have most definitely found that to be true of Lee – needing time to think & process before dealing with a situation.
Someone once said that we women often don’t bering something up to our husbands until we have already processed it, & then we need to give them time to do the same.
With regard to your Dad, let me just say this. It’s a coping mechanism. It’s how they survive it all. Without it, they’d be a wreck too. It doesn’t excuse it, but perhaps explains it somewhat.
And I didn’t mean that to sound like intellectual sidestepping . . . I too am sorry for your pain. But IF this is what your husband is doing, then it would be reassuring to know that, and I did think of you halfway through the chapter and stopped to write the note above.
Wandering Views 
Well, as I posted my request for prayers fairly late last night, I’m posting again today… I need prayers for my sorrowful heart. I’m having a hard time emotionally with my mom’s health problems and my dad’s bewildering denial of her long-term alcoholism. Additionally, Hubby and I got in a fight about money Tuesday night (he thinks I’ve spent too much on Christmas), and we haven’t spoken since. This hurts, especially right now, as I’ve wanted to share with him about family-of-origin issues and he’s basically ignoring me. He hasn’t even asked once how my mom is doing since her surgery Tuesday. Not exactly a model of compassion, his heart can be very hard at times. Prayers, please.
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Oh, Ann, I’m just so sorry. Give yourself some space and cry your eyes out–I’m not sure there is anything better to do. The Lord knows your heart and your circumstances, but grieving–and that’s what you need to do–is always important.
And love your husband. He probably doesn’t know what to do with the emotions either. He can’t fix your mother for you, and I’m sure he sees how hurt you are.
Why not beat the rugs or clean the house? That’s what I do when I’m angry and overwhelmed. It gets some of the emotions out of me and is constructive. Cook a good dinner, too. That will help.
xoxox
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My daughter was very excited about her interview, really, really, really wants the job and is hoping for a call back for a second interview today. Pray God’s will. This is all good and she is so very excited. The mama in me really, really, really, wants her to get this job, too–for her sake–but only if this comes from God, of course.. 🙂
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😦 Praying Ann.
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michelle, hoping and praying!
Praying for you, too, Ann. Meanwhile, you are welcome to come clean my floors.
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Praying for you Ann…after you finish with Donna’s floors, I have at least two large area rugs that need a good beating!! 😛 Seriously….when my heart is hurting, I sit in the soaking tub and just cry my eyes out…asking our Lord to heal the pain of brokenness….love you sister ❤
LikeLiked by 3 people
Ann, do you have the book For Women Only? At a male friend’s recommendation, I read it before I married (before I’d even met my hubby, actually, though only a few months before) and found it amazingly helpful in understanding men. There are a few places when she over-emphasizes something–I know that not all men want a size 2 wife, for example–but overall it can be extremely helpful.
I mention the book because a few days ago I saw that there was a new edition out. I’d been wanting to pass along my copy anyway, so I decided to order the new one and see what has changed. Just now I read the back cover and looked up the new chapter . . . and it’s chapter 4, “The Thinker: When Checking Out Is Actually Checking In.” It is about how many men require space to think when a subject is emotionally overwhelming, and sometimes that space may be a few days. Immediately I thought of you.
You can probably see some of it on amazon in the “search inside this book” section, if you key in “husband had quietly left the house” (that’s on p. 71, the first page of the chapter). But if you haven’t read the book, it’s an easy read and quite helpful.
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Ann – When I had that painful experience with my husband recently, I shot off an email to my dear friend & spiritual mentor, Marilyn. Marilyn has been a pastor’s wife for forty years, & is a down-to-earth lady with a lot of spiritual wisdom.
She shared with me about how her husband said some very hurtful things to her when he was going through a crisis a few years ago. She said that our husbands often will say or do hurtful things, especially when they are under pressure of some sort, but not even realize how very much they’ve hurt us. It is up to us to carry on, love them anyway, & pray through the situation. (The next day, Lee acted as though nothing had happened, & was in a good mood, so I just went with his flow.)
As close as a marriage can be, or as wonderful as our husbands can be, they cannot be all we think we need from them, & we can’t be all they think they need from us. But Jesus is our all in all.
Praying for comfort for you, along with the peace that transcends understanding, & for reconciliation in your marriage, & in your family, & also deliverance & healing for your mom & dad. God bless you, dear sister.
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Cheryl – I have most definitely found that to be true of Lee – needing time to think & process before dealing with a situation.
Someone once said that we women often don’t bering something up to our husbands until we have already processed it, & then we need to give them time to do the same.
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Ann,
AJ again, too lazy to log in.
With regard to your Dad, let me just say this. It’s a coping mechanism. It’s how they survive it all. Without it, they’d be a wreck too. It doesn’t excuse it, but perhaps explains it somewhat.
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And I didn’t mean that to sound like intellectual sidestepping . . . I too am sorry for your pain. But IF this is what your husband is doing, then it would be reassuring to know that, and I did think of you halfway through the chapter and stopped to write the note above.
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Thanks, everyone.
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