by

Our Daily Thread 9-11-14

Good Morning!

As I’m sure you’re aware, today is the 13th anniversary of the 9-11 attacks.

Once again it seems our country faces the prospect of war against the same enemy. There’s new faces and places, but the ideology behind it continues to be a dangerous and growing threat to the world. The results are numerous victims and senseless barbarity. Folks are being persecuted, driven from their homes, kidnapped, raped, and killed for their religion, ethnicity, and sometimes for no reason at all.

Please join me today in taking some time to pray for those people who have been victimized in our country, those still enduring the brutality elsewhere, and for our leaders and those of other countries. They have tough decisions to make in the days ahead.

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On this day in 1297 Scotsman William Wallace defeated the English forces of Sir Hugh de Cressingham at the Battle of Stirling Bridge. 

In 1609 explorer Henry Hudson sailed into New York harbor and discovered Manhattan Island and the Hudson River. 

In 1777 American forces, under General George Washington, were forced to retreat at the Battle of Brandywine Creek by British forces under William Howe. The Stars and Stripes were carried for the first time in the battle. 

In 1941, in Arlington, VA, the groundbreaking ceremony for the Pentagon took place. 

In 2001  four airliners were hijacked and were intentionally crashed. Two airliners hit the World Trade Center, which collapsed shortly after, in New York City, NY. One airliner hit the Pentagon in Arlington, VA. Another airliner crashed into a field in Pennsylvania. 

And in 2012 terrorists attacked the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya. Four Americans were brutally murdered and ten others were injured. 

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Quote of the Day

“Never be too proud to get down on your knees and pray.”

Paul “Bear” Bryant

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 Today is Leo Kottke’s birthday.

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Anyone have a QoD?

74 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 9-11-14”

  2. We have been at war since the attack on the Marine barracks in Beirut. We never realized it and have never, to this day, clearly defined the enemy. I read a book by Anonymous (later outed as Rita Katz). She was a Jew raised in Iran who disguised herself and visited Mosques, and read the literature written in Arabic. She reported her findings to the Clintons, and later Bush. We had a good idea, as early as the nineties, what was going on. But no one paid attention to it.
    Remember, It took just a few days to identify Al Qaida. They knew the threat was there.
    Someone described the success of the attack as, “lack of imagination” on the part of those who defend us. As I stated previously somewhere on this blog. They game those things. They consider every possible scenario. The military Chiefs have had Syria plans for years now. Updated as needed. Obama could have had a comprehensive plan in 24 hours.

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  3. Thumbing through the book, I notice she says al-Queda and “Max” is the Steve Emerson you often see on Fox News making comments about the Islamists. She worked for him. They didn’t seem to get along. I think the relationship was similar to Kim and GIWW. 😉
    I may reread the book.
    I recommend reading it if you can find a copy.

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  4. From yesterday’s thread. After we moved to Hendersonville, I started entering a record of all the books I read on my computer. So far, since 2001, I have read 240 books. That is an estimate
    by the number of lines on the page.

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  7. I listened to the president’s speech last night. I was not comforted. He refuses to believe that the Islamic/Muslim religion is the catalyst. Today I have a stepson in the Marine Corps. What the military decides to do will cut close to home for me…it never has in the past.

    I suppose one QOD could be where we were 13 years ago today, although I think we have done that many times. Perhaps apropos that I was in a classroom of 3rd graders doing my student teaching and yesterday I found out I paid that loan off.

    Better yet, we could ask what you thought of the POTUS speech last night.

    I am guessing that Chas is speaking of the attack on the Marine’s in Beirut some time in the 1980″s. I remember being a know it all and making the comment that we shouldn’t be there and we shouldn’t send our people over there to die. Perhaps we should just kill them before we shipped them over. My Mama Ruth (the lady who eventually stepped in became my “mother” set me straight. Her husband was full time National Guard. My own father was in the Navy and was on shore leave once in the early 1960’s in Beirut. He was shot at when he was there. I only learned that tidbit of knowledge when I saw him dive off of our raised patio into a flower bed and hide behind the shrubs. A car had backfired.

    There will be no peace in the Middle East.

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  8. Good morning! It is a day for prayer for our nation. Thanks, AJ, for your post and, again, for this website, and your faithfulness in keeping it going. It must be a weight upon you sometimes to remember how we all felt when WORLD left us in the wilderness, each to our own, but you regathered us! In so doing, you have followed the example of the Good Shepherd. We all ❤ you for how you have managed to do this.

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  9. We did not watch the president’s speech. Is he truly our President? It is hard to acknowledge when he has never shown his credentials to be in that position, or to even get a driver’s license in my state.

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  11. On another note . . .

    Late yesterday there was a lot of chat about Goodreads and the Kindle. I have a couple of questions.

    How does using the Kindle interface with Goodreads? Do you download an app and then do all of your access and reading via the app?

    Also, Jo, you said you delete books on your Kindle. How do you do that? I’ve never been able to figure out how. Or is there some way to archive the ones you’ve read (or abandoned and don’t want to finish)?

    To throw in my two-cents, I do all of my reading on the Kindle and I love it. I do not miss “real” books at all. I don’t even own a hardcopy of the Bible (I am not one to highlight or make notes in my Bible, or any other book, for that matter).

    Before we moved here two years ago I had a huge library – most of which I’d read and many in the to-be-read pile. From the latter, I was able to find and download most to the Kindle and I donated all of them except the few that I hadn’t read. I quickly read the left-overs and gave them away, too. I am now totally free of all books and not missing them one bit. If there’s ever something I want to read that isn’t available online, I’ll get it from the library. I know that’s not for everybody but it works great for me. I probably read at the average pace of one book per week.

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  12. Chas,
    You can easily copy-and-paste that list into a spreadsheet. That way, in addition to having an exact count, you can have columns for the author’s name, topic, date read, comments, or anything else meaningful to you. Then you can sort on any of those columns to get a different view of your list. Just a thought.

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  14. Linda, if you have a Kindle Fire, you hold your finger on the book title page. It should then give you some options on what to do with the book. You can add to favorites, remove from carousel or remove from device. If you remove from the device, it should be in the cloud. To actually delete, I think you may need to go to the Amazon store site. On that site, you would go to your kindle site where you will see all your books, apps etc and given options for actions you want to take with them.

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  15. Janice,
    What occurred to me when I read your devotional is that the sacrifice of an animal was a sacrifice of the heart. As humans we have the emotional capacity to love. I certainly am not putting animals on the same level as humans, but they are living breathing beings that feel a loyalty to us and we feel a love and compassion for them. Wouldn’t it hurt your heart for something to happen to Bosley? I know it would hurt my heart for something to happen to Amos and yes even Lulabelle and Moe.
    Now would you feel that same grief if a houseplant died? Yes, I have one houseplant that I have babied and nurtured since February of 2004. It was sent to my father in law’s funeral and I took it home to remember him, but if it died it isn’t the same.
    Think about it. You see a wreck on the highway. You see the crumpled up car and the tree it hit. Do you worry about the tree and the car? Do you worry about the person driving the car?
    .
    (I hope that makes sense, and if it doesn’t I will rely on Cheryl to come along in a bit and explain what I meant. 😉 )

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  16. Linda- On my old Kindle (Kindle 2), I just go the the book listing and move the selector to the right. That takes me to a screen with the book’s picture and choices to either move it to another list or delete it. You can make new categories from the main screen. I have one I call “Already read” where I move the books I have finished.

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  18. I do not agree with that devotional, Janice. I also dislike the book mentioned. It is true that the law had not been given. That didn’t mean that God did not tell people what He wanted, however. It must have been a great shock for Adam and Eve to see an animal killed. We know that up to this point both man and animals were given only the fruit of seed-bearing plants to eat (Gen. 1:2) This changes after the flood.

    We can assume that God was showing something very significant about the animals sacrificed to temporarily cloth Adam and Eve. He could have clothed them with better leaves, if He had wanted, after all. I think we can assume He showed how to sacrifice and told them about the need for blood. (This may be why sacrifices ( in many distorted and sinful ways) was common later.)

    We also have at least two New Testament scriptures to add to our understanding. Hebrews 11:4 tells us that Able was using his FAITH to bring his sacrifice. Cain was apparently unfaithful. In other words, he did not believe God and act on what God said. In Genesis 4, God points out that if Cain will just do what is RIGHT, he will be accepted. God could not say this, if it were all just a guessing game. We are told Able was righteous in what he did.

    In Jude 11 there is a discussion of the way of Cain, along with the way of Balaam and Korah. Each of these people decided to go their own way, rather than Gods. They wanted to profit by using religious means

    We still have that problem today, of course. We see people using God’s own words, but finding ways to get around them. Parsing until they are robbed of their meaning and turned to say the opposite of what is really meant.

    I do agree that God, at this point, was not giving license for Capital Punishment. He forbid anyone to kill Cain. His gave Cain opportunity to repent and others to learn from Cain’s punishment.

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  19. 9/11, it seems like so long ago to me now. And yet not so long. I am surprised there have been no other attacks on our own soil, although no doubt many have been thwarted. Eventually one will succeed. 😦

    While I agree with much of what the president said last night (and how odd to hear such resolve coming from him — although I’d argue that ISIS is Islamic), I also don’t know if we will succeed. Will we defeat ISIS only to have another worse group arise? It does sometimes seems like this is such an endless battle as we grow weaker and weaker, from the inside out.

    But to do nothing would be suicide.

    Grateful that my ultimate trust is in God alone, not in nations or kings or armies.

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  20. I love Kindle for reading fiction, but not for nonfiction for some reason. Maybe it is because I like to go back & forth, underlining & highlighting if it’s a book I’m reading for my own growth (and I’ve been reading a number of books on the sanctification process lately). I’ve recently begun using large, coated paperclips for bookmarks, some of the books I spend a lot of time in have several of them scattered at places where I tend to return.

    (I know, you can underline, make notes and bookmark via Kindle, but really it’s just NOT the same 🙂 )

    And I also tend not to write in Bibles, but I do have a favorite 25-year-old Bible that’s highlighted, notated & underlined, with some specific and meaningful dates I’ve written next to some verses. I still tend to take that one to church with me more than any of my others lately. It is my favorite Bible, treasured more and more the older it gets (and the older I get!). 🙂

    I recently bought a new journaling Bible and intend to start anew on that, but haven’t yet. I keep returning to my original.

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  21. Back to 9/11, I remember going to the World Trade Center site right before Christmas in 2003 when I was visiting friends north of the city. It was still pretty much a rubble, with the accidental “cross” remaining in place. So sobering …

    Also during that visit the nation had raised the threat level (again), with a special focus on NY, so it made riding around on the subway in NYC and on the train in and out of the city rather interesting.

    It’s easy for the horror to fade with the years. But it was an absolutely horrible morning when all of that happened, just unbelievable.

    I wonder if, in some ways — in historical retrospect, perhaps even many years from now — that morning will be seen as marking the beginning of the end for our nation in the long run. Not the cause per se, but the crowning blow following years of our own internal weakening …

    Sorry, I’m feeling discouraged today.

    I am grateful for the president we had at that time. His subsequent decisions, especially regarding staying so long in Iraq, may not have turned out the way we hoped in terms of nation building, but I think his intent was good, courageous and clear-minded. Hindsight, of course, is 20/20. But I do also fault the current administration for abandoning that struggling effort so abruptly.

    Welcome to 2013 and ISIS.

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  22. I do agree with the author that God is not blood-thirsty, btw. There is no reason to believe Cain spilled Abel’s blood to give it to God, however, which is what the devotional seems to say. Rather, his jealousy is pointed out and the error of his ways. If “faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God,” it would seem at some point, Cain heard what God wanted for an offering. Otherwise, I cannot think why God would not accept Cain’s. Yes, his heart was wrong, but God never mentions that: Just doing right.

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  26. The girls passed us this morning, driving off to work in their new automobile. We were walking two of the dogs. They got their new car for just five hundred dollars. It has a little over two hundred thousand miles on it, runs great. And their boss is the one who found it for them and is very concerned they have a good running vehicle so he took a good look at it for them and his brother replaced the brakes the previous owner had purchased but not gotten around to installing.

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  27. The book is named Terrorist Hunter, by Anonymous. Outed later, as I say, as Rita Katz.
    The copyright is 2003, so it was pretty soon after the event. She mentions some of the names that are common now. It’s well worth reading if you can find it. I haven’t checked Amazon.

    I told you many times before. Sept 11 was a pretty day in Hendersonville, much like today. I was outside working and didn’t know anything was happening until I came in for lunch at noon. I turned on the radio to listen to Rush, but heard a lot of commotion. I turned on the TV and saw a plane hitting a building. It was a few minutes before I realized I was seeing a replay.
    Of course, I didn’t go back outside.

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  31. Chas, it’s hard to ignore it, here in Raven’s country. But so far, I’m succeeding. I did just add this on my son’s post “Well I hear that the FBI is going to investigate it so that should clear it all up; after all, they did such a great job of investigating Benghazi and surely this is waaaay more important.”

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  33. Goddell should be fired.

    The NFL (and the police) have had the video for awhile, yet did nothing.

    And why have charges not been filed yet? In domestic cases police are reluctant because if the woman refuses to testify, they have nothing. And you can’t compel a wife to testify (which is why he married her quick) but that’s not necessary now. With the video, her testimony is unnecessary. The State Police and AC Police dropped the ball too. Hopefully someone in the prosecutors office has a clue, and some guts, and charges that wife beating scumbag.

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  34. Last week on a local, conservative talk radio station, I heard something to this effect.

    We all grew up loving America. We learned about the sacrifices made to birth our nation and to hold it together, we said the Pledge of Allegiance, celebrated Independence Day, saluted soldiers in the Thanksgiving Day parade, and still grow teary-eyed when singing the “Star Spangled Banner.”

    Obama, OTOH, grew up in Honolulu and Indonesia, surrounded by people who hated the U.S.

    Think about it.

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  39. I found Terrorist Hunter at my public library. It happened to be on the new book shelf. I have found many interesting books that way. It is the one thing I do not like about my kindle. I don’t go to the library as much. If anyone is interested in reading it, they may want to check out their local library.

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  41. Chas, I noticed that the one-star reviews of that book on amazon were insisting the book is fiction, simply because she could not have been present at the meetings where she says she was, and also that she pretty much presents herself as being at the center of a lot, much like Forrest Gump. At least one also said she changed her story a lot when she was interviewed on Fox News. Any thoughts on that? (Anyone other than Chas is welcome to answer, too. It does make me disinclined to read it.)

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  42. Cheryl, everything she said works out. It is believable. It all makes sense. Unless you are Muslim. I understand why they don’t like it. She doesn’t make herself a hero. The fact that they found the “safe house” in Herndon (DC suburb) is correct.

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  43. I just attended prayer service at the Georgia state capitol. It was really great. Wonderful praise music and mighty prayer warriors who represented different segments of society. They even had a child, maybe 2nd grade, lifting up his generation. Some areas lifted were small businesses, education, government, the media, and the churches.

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  44. I read it long enough ago, that I can’t remember comment on all that, Cheryl. It is clear she is not an unbiased individual and she may have some ‘issues’. However, I have found that every book I have checked out at amazon that is about Muslims usually has a few comments telling us it could not be true. Most of the writers of those negative reviews also show a bias. The only way to find out is read it, I suppose.

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  45. On the criticisms of Terrorist Hunter and whether it is true or not, I have not read the book, but just from what Chas said, I would have some questions. As a woman, she would not have been able to enter the inner courts of the mosques – rather like the Court of the Women in Herod’s Temple, mosques do not allow women of the age of menstruation to go beyond a certain point. Also, Iranians do not speak Arabic, but Farsi – I remember listening to the testimony of one Iranian man, telling how he memorized the entire Quran, and never understood it, because orthodox Muslims do not translate the Quran from Arabic.

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  46. Roscuro, that’s the sort of criticisms the reviews had, that she had neither the access (as a woman–some reviews went into great details of the cultural specifics), the understanding (language and more), nor the ability to be in as many places of importance as she claimed. The criticism sounds plausible, enough to make the book not one I’m inclined to order.

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  47. It feels like autumn here. Its about 53 F, damp, windy, and grey. The leaves are barely starting to turn; but I saw a flock of what looked like grackles (starlings) gathering for migration. It is my favorite time of year, with the bright colours and clear days, but it looks like this fall might be as damp and dark as the summer was.

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  52. There was discussion on yesterday’s prayer thread about how sometimes parents have a hard time relating to their grown children as adults.

    Maybe because I remember how resentful I was of my own mother’s distrust of my decision-making ability as a young woman, I have been careful to treat my daughters as the adults they are. (Their dad is coming around. 🙂 )

    But I am seeing something that is becoming a bit problematic for me. That is that I think my very independent Emily still sometimes perceives me as talking to her as her mother, not as woman-to-woman or as a housemate. I’m referring to times when I try to give her a bit of advice, or ask her to do something. The kinds of advice or requests I give or ask of her are things that even a friend or housemate might say. But I think she hears “Mommy” telling her what to do.

    I am careful to use phrases like “Maybe you could…” or “What if you try……?” That kind of thing. But I think she is apt to ignore what I say, or be annoyed by it, merely because she thinks I’m saying it as mother-to-child rather than one adult to another.

    So, I tend to keep things in that really shouldn’t be kept in, & now I am feeling some resentment towards her. Not wanting this negative attitude to grow & poison my relationship with her, I have decided that I need to sit down with her & have a talk about what’s on my mind, & reiterate to her that I really do see her, & respect her, as an adult.

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  53. I did not watch Obama’s speech last night, but I have read a couple comments that he somehow denies that ISIS is Islamic. In what way does he deny that? It’s in their name.

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  54. A few years ago we had a speaker here. I try to remember what he said – ‘unasked for advice is criticism’ or, rather, perceived as criticism. Helps me keep my mouth closed around my children.

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  58. “Unasked for advice is criticism”? Then what do we do with the biblical injunction that older women are supposed to teach the younger, and that parents in particular have such an obligation? We can (and should) be gentle, and we should listen, and we should be open to correction ourselves. But we have an obligation to continue to speak into the lives of our children and the other younger people in our circle, and they likewise have an obligation to believe we have their best interests at heart, even if occasionally we blow it, unless and until we prove that we cannot be trusted.

    I know that our culture values independence and doesn’t value the wisdom of elders, but biblically based relationships must be different. If a child is in rebellion, then that might affect things. And a child who is no longer a dependent is in a different place than an adult who is still a dependent. But even a 50-year-old with his own family should minimally honor and listen to his parents, even if he already knows their counsel is bad.

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  59. Karen, part of your daughter’s reaction to you is her own fault. I can sympathize with her reaction. In our teens, when my mother made a suggestion which we had good reasons for not following, we would often get upset. She eventually realized that we were hearing a command of “You must do this” (she never realized then that her children’s interpretation was fueled by ATI teachings that anything but immediate, unquestioning obedience to a parent was rebellion). She learned to verbally acknowledged that she had no intention of making us do what she suggested – but sometimes even then, we reacted wrongly, and that was our own bad attitude.

    I know you may be nervous to have confrontation with your daughter, but I have found sometimes an honest discussion, even if it gets a little loud and emotional, of just how each other feels will clear the air. Sometimes, relationships are all the better for a good clean fight 😉

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  60. Roscuro, that can happen on the job too (misunderstanding about whether something is an order or a suggestion).

    Years ago, before I went to college, I worked in a drugstore. Part of my duties included doing the daily books and then making the bank deposit. Our floor manager was bothered by the fact that the girls in the pharmacy (the pharmacy techs) didn’t do much work at times. If there wasn’t pharmacy work to do, then they’d stand around and talk or goof off rather than seeing if there was work needing to be done in the rest of the store. Problem was, as far as I could tell the pharmacist was their supervisor, and they didn’t really answer to the floor manager the way the rest of us did.

    Well, one day my boss was in a bit of a bad mood, and she suggested that rather than taking several minutes each day to walk over to the bank, I should have one of the pharmacy techs do it. It was a bad suggestion on several levels, not the least of which was that they didn’t answer to me, and even if she told one of the girls to do it, it wasn’t going to happen.

    So I took it the way it was worded, as a “suggestion” and not as a command, and I ignored it. (That wasn’t wise, of course.) When I came back from doing the bank deposit myself, my boss yelled at me. Minutes later she saw me again and yelled at me again. (That was completely contrary to her normal way of doing things, so she must have been having a bad day.) The second time she yelled at me, I ran into the bathroom to cry (not particularly like me, either, but yelling at me even once is more than I need).

    So the next day or two I just left the deposit, and when the bank was about to close, my manager told me in a panic that the girls hadn’t done it, and go do it myself, and quick. It only took one or two days of that, and the very idea that we could somehow get the pharmacy techs to do it was dropped.

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  61. Cheryl, I would presume that in order for an older woman to teach a younger woman, there must be a willingness to learn. I would not say that unasked for advice is always perceived as criticism, but it may be perceived as such in certain contexts. For example, if someone who is consistently critical of others says they are just giving ‘a little friendly advice’ it would be immediately be perceived as critical.

    That is the difficulty with parent relationships with grown children – the children will perceive their parents’ advice as throwback to their childhood days of being told what to do and parents may expect the same level of obedience from their children. In fact, in patriarchal societies, that parental relationship is never changed – I remember speaking to a middle-aged man from a Muslim country who told me that if his father told him to do something, he would obey.

    That sort of relationship is depicted in the Genesis accounts of the patriarchs, but we shouldn’t make the mistake of thinking that Abraham, Isaac and Jacob’s interactions with one another are examples of how Christian families should interact. Jesus’ statement that in order to follow him, one must hat their parents was stunning in that cultural context. Yes, children are told to obey their parents in the NT, but parents are warned in the same passages not to exasperate their children (Ephesian 6:1-4, Colossians 3:20-21).

    You make a statement that a child who is no longer dependent is different than an adult who is dependent. I would disagree – I am currently dependent on my parents for shelter, food and transportation. I have no means of providing these things for myself at this time. Yet, I still have the moral responsibility to make my own decisions. I honour my parents and try to work with them, not against them; but I do it as a fellow Christian who happens to be their biological child. I discuss things with them as an adult, even teach them what I know, instead of listening in silence as a child. Yes, there are areas where I need to improve my interactions with them, but I am no less an autonomous adult than my married siblings just because of my outward circumstances.

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  62. I understand the concept that Jo mentioned, I really do. It may not be a right attitude to have, but it is a very human reaction.

    I used the word “advice” loosely, but I mean merely the kind of thing that friends or housemates might say to each other. And in our situation, we live together (which is why I keep referring to housemates), so there are times I need to suggest she do something, or suggest a way to do something, or I would end up having to do it myself. Or her not taking my “advice” (or maybe “suggestion” is a better word) will result in something being harder for me to deal with.

    One thing I have kept my mouth shut about, which drives me a bit crazy, is her way of keeping house. I am one to like things neat & tidy, & I tend to clean up messes right away. Emily takes a more lackadaisical approach, cleaning up whenever she gets around to it, even if that’s a couple days later. I so want to suggest she train herself to clean up right away, not only for aesthetic reasons, but also because I know that leaving it makes for more work in the long run. (IOW, cleaning up a mess here & a mess there, versus having a bunch of messes to clean up all at once.)

    But I have been a good girl, & kept my mouth shut on that. I know that everybody has their own ways of doing things, & as long as the end result is good, that’s all that should matter. Of course, I kind of cringe inside when I go upstairs & see the messes waiting to be cleaned.

    In most other ways, she is a wonderful, responsible young woman, & I am so proud of her.

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  63. Roscuro – Except for the part about you also being a Christian, what you described about yourself applies to Emily as well, generally.

    I still remember being a young woman living on my own, & having my mom still trying to be involved in aspects of my life that she shouldn’t be involved in, like my financial decisions. Mom was kind of a “control freak”, & I resented that. So I have tried to not fall into that myself.

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  64. I subscribe to the My House, My Rules theory of parenting and being the child. I had a very different relationship with my dad than a lot of people. We were war buddies having survived the war that was my mother, but I never lost sight of him being my father. I think a lot of the problem these days is that parents try to be friends. It’s great if one day you can be friends, but you are first and foremost forever the parent.
    I think in your circumstance Karen it might be time for a family meeting. Everyone needs to put the issues that concern them on the table and everyone needs to decide what is and isn’t acceptable and what is a deal breaker.

    True adulthood came to me when I asked my father what I should do in a certain situation and his reply was that he thought I made pretty good decisions and I could make that decision without him. I was 26/

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  65. Kim – I did say in my earlier comment that I plan on having a talk with Emily about this. I’m not going to let it fester.

    Even with what I have shared here today, I have to say that in general, we have a pretty good balance in the “sometimes mother-daughter, sometimes friends” thing.

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  67. For the past couple days, but especially today, I have been thinking about my relationships with each of my daughters, & feeling incredibly grateful for them.

    I get along very well with each of them, but in different ways. Emily & Chrissy are so very different from each other, & yet I have many things in common with each of them, just not the same things in common with one as I have with the other. As I have often said, Emily is my favorite older daughter, & Chrissy is my favorite younger daughter. 🙂

    There are just a couple things missing that would make it all perfect. They both need to be reconciled with God, & with each other. And of course, I would love it if Chrissy would move back home.

    I had a dream the other night that we were all living together again, but there was a sweet harmony amongst us all. The girls were reconciled, getting along wonderfully, & we were joking about something. It was such a sweet dream.

    People, even Christians, talk about “dreaming big”. My dream is simple. My big dream is for my girls, & little Forrest, to love Jesus & follow Him wholeheartedly, for us to worship together, to be a family united in Christ.

    That’s my big dream.

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  68. Kim with the My House, My Rules – I see what you are saying. Thankfully, my parents and I agree on the moral standards in the house, i.e. no asking a boyfriend (not that I’ve ever had one) to stay the night, no holding wild and drunken parties, etc. However,I would observe that it should be remembered that in such a case, the rules for adults should apply to the adult children. For example, my parents go to bed when they feel like it; and in my early twenties, I had to remind my mother that I could now decide when I went to bed, as she would tell me that I should go to bed if she saw me up after 10:30. As an adult, I can both hold more privilege and also more responsibility in the house.

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  69. Karen, I hope and pray that your dream will come true. I have seen it happen in other families.

    I should say, even with the conflict that arises between my father and I at times (just tonight, we had a lively discussion about a news item on the radio – I taking one view and he another), I do have a good relationship with both my parents. I cannot help them materially very much, although I do when I can, but I try to give them other things. I read to them in the evenings – right now I am reading Josephus’ account of the destruction of Jerusalem – as that is something my father used to do for us before his eyes were damaged by his accident and coma, and I also play music for them. I sew for my mother, and this summer, I have been trying to save my father’s rose bush (the one I sent a picture of) as it was dying from Japanese beetles and mildew. I love them both dearly, and as I told them when I was in The Gambia, they gave me a wonderful childhood.

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  71. Some of it may be communication style–using the word “you” can be perceived as directive whether you mean to or not.

    We’ve been taught to make “I” statements, which a rep perceived as less threatening because you’re referring to yourself and thus your listener can take it or leave it.

    “I like to wash the dishes directly after dinner because they’re easier to clean when food isn’t dried on them”

    “I’ve found it easier to find my shoes if I put them in the same place everyday.”

    I make my statement and move on. It’s passive teaching and I’ve found it works better with adults of all ages.

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  72. If it’s totally driving you crazy frame it this way.

    “I need to talk to you about something that is a matter of life or death.”

    My husband looks up, startled. “What is it?”

    “Your shoes. I get up in the night when a child cries. If you leave your shoes on my side of the bed, I will trip one night and hit my head and possibly die.”

    He never left them on my side of the bed again.

    Or

    “I can’t make plans about my day if you do not tell me a day ahead of time you will need the car. Can we work out a schedule?”

    If she chooses to leave her own house a mess, that’s her call. Isn’t that part of why you moved her upstairs?

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  74. I find one area where I especially need to be quiet is regarding parenting. I am the grandma, not the parent and God will lead them in their parenting. If they ask for advice, I would love to comment. Last time home, I told my daughter that I would love to watch their kids if they went away, knowing I would have no problems.
    Yes, Mumsee, they have goats. (not)

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