🙂 My woman came home to me.
😦 Dr. George Jones, my SS teacher fell and broke a collarbone. We don’t know how bad it is yet. But not good, in any case.
He asked me to teach for him tomorrow.
😦 The lesson is from Proverbs, title “Live in Moral Purity”.
🙂 Spring has come to Hendersonville.
😦 😦 😦 A certain banker in the next town has almost ruined our house sale. She doesn’t cooperate or communicate with our realtor. She doesn’t get inspections scheduled in a timely manner. She insists on holding inspection reports for 24 hours before closing, for no other reason than she can. She doesn’t tell anyone what the requirements for a USDA Rural Development loan are until after an inspection. The guy doing it didn’t even know exactly what he was to look for! Our realtor told us ours is one of the nicer homes she has sold under Rural Development, and most of the others passed without repairs having to be done. Now we have to replace the roof, which means closing is off until who knows when, since roofers are now booked well into June. If said banker (I think her name is Cruella De Ville) had scheduled the roof inspection back in March when we first signed the contract, we would have had a chance to get the work done before yesterday’s closing date.
Peter is your buyer locked into a good enough contract that they can’t walk because of the loan delay? If not can you still accept back up offers? USDA loans are difficult in the best of circumstances. They change the rules daily. Thankfully you have the cash on hand to take care of the repairs. Of course it is digging into the equity you will take out of the house. I am so sorry.
😦 Anything to do with government loans (I am assuming this is what this is) is complicated.
🙂 We would have done one once, but nothing we could afford, passed inspection. We gave up and built. We probably would have lost our home during the years my husband spent mostly out of work. Many did. We did not and caught up on all payments, eventually paying it off early.
😦 My sympathy, Peter.
🙂 Wonderful weekend with my daughter and her family. It was her older son’s last time singing with The Steeple People, since he will be too old next year. Both he and our granddaughter (his sister) had solos. They did such a nice job. I am so glad they have these opportunities and that their parents care enough to provide them.
🙂 I am thankful, too, for all the directors, teacher and leaders of groups that help these children.
😦 We once looked at a government program for new home buyers. We went to the bank that was taking care of the program. The person brought out the plans for the home we could build. It was supposed to be a three bedroom home. Since I could not find the third bedroom, I asked the person where it was. He could not find it either! The cost of the home was affordable, but everything had to be contracted out and we knew that was simply not possible. There was no way anyone could have done that within the loan amount. We found out that many government ‘deals’ look far better on paper than in actuality.
I have only sold three homes, so I’m no expert. But I have, on a small sample, concluded that an inspector’s job is to find something wrong. If he can’t find something that has to be fixed, he hasn’t done his job.
🙂 Survived my first night alone 😦 as a married woman.
😦 He was in his meeting till nearly midnight, so he didn’t even call and tell me good night. The last four months or so before we married, I never missed a good-night call.
🙂 I got homemade split-pea soup for supper, first time in almost three years!
🙂 I used three packages of split peas, so I have lots more in the freezer (and will have it again for lunch today).
🙂 Last night I got to see my second ever muskrat, and got photos. It was about the closest I’ve ever been to a wild mammal, and it just didn’t see me, but kept eating. I could see how soft its fur was, and why it’s a fur animal.
🙂 I also got a long-desired photo of a singing-and-displaying redwing blackbird. Gorgeous animals.
🙂 I love this camera, which brings wild birds close enough to be photographed even if they’re many yards away.
😦 I have a long list of things to do today.
😦 I’ve marked several of them off already, and it’s barely 10:00. That’s a really good start for a Saturday!
🙂 Muskrats are funny looking when they’re walking on dry land
🙂 Husband is on his way home
🙂 I got to enjoy my sauerkraut all week – Cheryl gets her split-pea soup
😦 Huge pile of dishes for me to wash 🙂 They’re almost done (husband is the designated dishwasher in our house as I am too tall for the counters and my back will hurt when I do them)
😦 🙂 Having to take breaks from washing dishes to stretch and rest my back
🙂 Back to the cold today, but we had 2 very warm days this week – such a joy to feel the sun and play outside
🙂 Planted corn, sunflowers, castor beans and scarlet runner beans last night to get a head start on the season. Should be able to plant them outside some time after May 24th
🙂 It felt good getting my hands into the soil again
🙂 Second sibling and husband have found an apartment.
😦 They are moving out this weekend. It will be very quiet with just my parents and I.
😦 An election has been called for the province of Ontario. There are no good options, just the lesser of three evils.
Kim- Not only is it going to cut into our equity, it might take it completely away, which means renegotiating our loan on the new house. And no, we won’t have the cash on hand until we close on the house. As for the buyer, she really wants the house, but I don’t know if she can get another kind of loan. She is out a couple of thousand on inspections already and I doubt she would want to go through it all again.
I’m so sorry to hear of the unexpected turn of events for you Peter….is there a possibility that your homeowners insurance would cover replacing the roof? Praying all will be resolved soon….
Thank you, Donna. I don’t think insurance would cover this. I’ve trying to call an Amish roofer but have not gotten anyone to answer the phone. (Yes, he is allowed a phone since he has a business, but the phone cannot be in the house. It’s probably in the barn where no one can here it.) If I wanted, I could make a twenty mile drive to a harness shop owner who knows the roofer and could give me directions. But I’ve tried that with these Amish before. I don’t think they no how to give good directions. I got a hold of another roofer a friend recommended and he is coming Monday to give us an estimate. The good news is he doesn’t have pressing jobs for a few weeks so he can delay one of them to do ours. That deserves a 🙂 !
😦 The last two Saturdays, R was supposed to have Forrest, but never showed up or called. (Actually, per the agreement that he insisted on, he’s supposed to get Forrest on Friday night & keep most of the day Saturday, but he keeps deciding to just pick him up on Saturday morning, then never shows up.)
Today he is house-sitting for his parents, here in town, only five minutes away. He said that, although he would again not take Forrest on Friday night, he would definitely pick him up this morning.
So, of course, Chrissy & I ended up babysitting all day again.
It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with my grandson (believe me, I spend a lot of time with my little guy), what irks me is how he blows off his own son, along with his complete disregard for my time (& Chrissy’s), & doesn’t even bother to call.
Yesterday I pushed myself to finish a cleaning project that took a bit of physical exertion, even though my undiagnosed-but-very-much-like-fibromyalgia was flaring up. I figured I’d have today off to rest & relax somewhat. That didn’t happen, & I was (am) in a lot of pain.
🙂 Nice “family dinner” evening with Lee, Emily, Chrissy, & Forrest. Lee brought home bake-it-yourself pizza from Aldi’s. It’s very good! 16″ pizzas for only five or six dollars, depending on which kind you choose.
Karen, in the case of our children, they had many many no shows with their parents. Same as when we had foster children. The parents would say they were going to do something and constantly dropped the ball. The ones that end up not getting their children back are the ones that never figure it out. But many do make the adjustment to remembering their children are actually people worthy of respect. So, to me, it is not shocking at all that he does not keep the appointments. Write it down, time and date and whether he showed up. Document, document, document.
Karen, it’s natural to want a rest, and you may need to look for ways to have others come alongside more. But realistically, you don’t want / need a break at Forrest’s expense, so the lack of follow-through may well be a blessing (esp. in the long term).
My mom ended up bearing three children in her 40s (I’m the first of those three) in a 38-month time period. I am sure that she often felt tired and overwhelmed, and I do remember that she often didn’t have much energy. But the reality is we were her full-time job from God. I don’t know if it would help you to think of Forrest as your responsibility from God right now. Not just “if his father isn’t available, I guess I’ll take care of him,” but your responsibility almost as much as if you had borne him yourself. If others–responsible, loving people–can come alongside, then great. But if not, then you have the same hard but noble task my mother had (and that Mumsee has) of loving a child later in life than you had initially planned, but well within God’s plan.
I am sorry it is so hard, though. When I was in Chicago, I once went to my church and told them, “I know we have a lot of single mothers, but I have no way of knowing which ones have very limited time and resources and which ones have plenty of help from family. I’m willing to take one or two evenings a week and babysit, no charge, if there’s a way you can direct me to who has such a need, or even tell people there is such an offer and see who comes forward. Maybe other single people would join in, too, if we find that the need is really high.” But all I could get from church leadership was, “We don’t know. Why don’t you ask around?” I suggested a note in the church bulletin, but they didn’t want to do that and pretty much just acted like I had a silly idea. My own connections in the church were mostly the older people, and I was just out of my element in terms of figuring out how to determine who had true needs, and I figured the pastors would know/ should know such a thing. (It was one of the pastors that I asked.) But the old “I dunno” response didn’t encourage me even to pursue it further, and I ended up volunteering elsewhere instead (a bad experience, but that’s a different story). I guess my point is that there may be others like me, available like I was, but unsure how to make the connection. Maybe a responsible teenager in your church would be available to come over and help out (you’re there, but she’s helping you with whatever needs to be done) for just a dollar or two an hour, sort of volunteer work but with just a little spending money. (One of my friends has a daughter who did that when she was 13.)
Husband plans to be home in less than two weeks! And he should be home for nearly two more weeks!
It is raining today and the plan is for it to continue raining for the week. That is good. We got all of the mowing and weed eating done for the week and things planted so they could use the cloud cover and water.
Mumsee – Oh yes, I am documenting all this. He claims he wants to spend much more time with his son, but doesn’t. When he & Emily met with the lawyer to try to come up with an agreement, he started off claiming he wanted primary custody, to have Forrest at his house four days a week. The lawyer pointed out that if they went before a judge (rather than a mediator), his poor performance from the month before would likely result in getting less time, & having to pay child support, a thing he has steadfastly refused to do.
So they agreed he would have Forrest Wednesday evening to early Thursday afternoon, & Friday evening to late Saturday afternoon. This was what he said he wanted.
Of course, the truth is that he wants to control & manipulate Emily more than he actually cares about Forrest.
Cheryl – What you wrote about having a break at Forrest’s expense is something I do feel guilty about. But my complaint isn’t even so much that R doesn’t take Forrest very often, it’s that he says he will, but changes his mind, & then doesn’t even bother to call.
The way I look at it is this – legally, R is supposed to have time with his son, & Forrest needs to have some sort of relationship with his father. So although being with R is not the best thing for Forrest, it’s something that is supposed to happen, so rather than fret over that, I should enjoy the break. I know this can sound heartless, but that’s not how I feel. I feel torn between feeling happy when I have some time to myself, & knowing that R isn’t always a good for Forrest.
And yes, I do feel that taking care of Forrest when his mommy can not be here is my God-given responsibility. And yeah, sometimes it’s a tough one.
As for having someone help me, I really am very grateful for Chrissy’s help. She is able to help me most of the time, & we make a great team.
Karen, I have always found it hard to deal with people who don’t keep their word (or don’t do what they’ve been told to do), so I understand. But it seems to me that mentally you need somehow to switch from hoping he will actually follow through this week to expecting that he won’t. Don’t let him get to you. He’s irresponsible, he doesn’t care about Forrest in any meaningful way, and just expect that he probably won’t show up and plan on that. If you need to send something with Forrest (a change of clothes and Pull-Ups, or whatever), then maybe just keep that packed just in case (and periodically make sure that what is packed still fits), but otherwise go about as though it isn’t going to happen. And then, if he does show up, it could be a “surprise” for Forrest and a day away. (And yes, you’ll have meltdowns and all of that.) But it isn’t going to be a dependable thing without major heart change in Forrest’s dad, so don’t plan as though it will. Keep track of it so you can document it, but otherwise do your best to forget there was ever such an agreement, because it probably isn’t ever going to happen.
Why does Forrest need to have some sort of relationship with his father? In an ideal world, yes. But a father who is a moral and maybe physical danger to him isn’t really one of his needs. He has a grandfather who is good male role model, and that may well need to be “enough.”
Wandering Views 
🙂 My woman came home to me.
😦 Dr. George Jones, my SS teacher fell and broke a collarbone. We don’t know how bad it is yet. But not good, in any case.
He asked me to teach for him tomorrow.
😦 The lesson is from Proverbs, title “Live in Moral Purity”.
🙂 Spring has come to Hendersonville.
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😦 😦 😦 A certain banker in the next town has almost ruined our house sale. She doesn’t cooperate or communicate with our realtor. She doesn’t get inspections scheduled in a timely manner. She insists on holding inspection reports for 24 hours before closing, for no other reason than she can. She doesn’t tell anyone what the requirements for a USDA Rural Development loan are until after an inspection. The guy doing it didn’t even know exactly what he was to look for! Our realtor told us ours is one of the nicer homes she has sold under Rural Development, and most of the others passed without repairs having to be done. Now we have to replace the roof, which means closing is off until who knows when, since roofers are now booked well into June. If said banker (I think her name is Cruella De Ville) had scheduled the roof inspection back in March when we first signed the contract, we would have had a chance to get the work done before yesterday’s closing date.
I could go on, but I won’t.
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Peter is your buyer locked into a good enough contract that they can’t walk because of the loan delay? If not can you still accept back up offers? USDA loans are difficult in the best of circumstances. They change the rules daily. Thankfully you have the cash on hand to take care of the repairs. Of course it is digging into the equity you will take out of the house. I am so sorry.
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😦 Anything to do with government loans (I am assuming this is what this is) is complicated.
🙂 We would have done one once, but nothing we could afford, passed inspection. We gave up and built. We probably would have lost our home during the years my husband spent mostly out of work. Many did. We did not and caught up on all payments, eventually paying it off early.
😦 My sympathy, Peter.
🙂 Wonderful weekend with my daughter and her family. It was her older son’s last time singing with The Steeple People, since he will be too old next year. Both he and our granddaughter (his sister) had solos. They did such a nice job. I am so glad they have these opportunities and that their parents care enough to provide them.
🙂 I am thankful, too, for all the directors, teacher and leaders of groups that help these children.
LikeLike
😦 We once looked at a government program for new home buyers. We went to the bank that was taking care of the program. The person brought out the plans for the home we could build. It was supposed to be a three bedroom home. Since I could not find the third bedroom, I asked the person where it was. He could not find it either! The cost of the home was affordable, but everything had to be contracted out and we knew that was simply not possible. There was no way anyone could have done that within the loan amount. We found out that many government ‘deals’ look far better on paper than in actuality.
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I have only sold three homes, so I’m no expert. But I have, on a small sample, concluded that an inspector’s job is to find something wrong. If he can’t find something that has to be fixed, he hasn’t done his job.
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🙂 Survived my first night alone 😦 as a married woman.
😦 He was in his meeting till nearly midnight, so he didn’t even call and tell me good night. The last four months or so before we married, I never missed a good-night call.
🙂 I got homemade split-pea soup for supper, first time in almost three years!
🙂 I used three packages of split peas, so I have lots more in the freezer (and will have it again for lunch today).
🙂 Last night I got to see my second ever muskrat, and got photos. It was about the closest I’ve ever been to a wild mammal, and it just didn’t see me, but kept eating. I could see how soft its fur was, and why it’s a fur animal.
🙂 I also got a long-desired photo of a singing-and-displaying redwing blackbird. Gorgeous animals.
🙂 I love this camera, which brings wild birds close enough to be photographed even if they’re many yards away.
😦 I have a long list of things to do today.
😦 I’ve marked several of them off already, and it’s barely 10:00. That’s a really good start for a Saturday!
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🙂 Muskrats are funny looking when they’re walking on dry land
🙂 Husband is on his way home
🙂 I got to enjoy my sauerkraut all week – Cheryl gets her split-pea soup
😦 Huge pile of dishes for me to wash 🙂 They’re almost done (husband is the designated dishwasher in our house as I am too tall for the counters and my back will hurt when I do them)
😦 🙂 Having to take breaks from washing dishes to stretch and rest my back
🙂 Back to the cold today, but we had 2 very warm days this week – such a joy to feel the sun and play outside
🙂 Planted corn, sunflowers, castor beans and scarlet runner beans last night to get a head start on the season. Should be able to plant them outside some time after May 24th
🙂 It felt good getting my hands into the soil again
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🙂 It’s beautiful outside. 🙂
😦 We have to go to the mall.
🙂 But it’s because my wife has an interview for a different position in her company on Wednesday, so that’s a good reason to need to go to the mall. 🙂
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🙂 Second sibling and husband have found an apartment.
😦 They are moving out this weekend. It will be very quiet with just my parents and I.
😦 An election has been called for the province of Ontario. There are no good options, just the lesser of three evils.
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Kim- Not only is it going to cut into our equity, it might take it completely away, which means renegotiating our loan on the new house. And no, we won’t have the cash on hand until we close on the house. As for the buyer, she really wants the house, but I don’t know if she can get another kind of loan. She is out a couple of thousand on inspections already and I doubt she would want to go through it all again.
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Good. I have decided I hate moving.
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I’m so sorry to hear of the unexpected turn of events for you Peter….is there a possibility that your homeowners insurance would cover replacing the roof? Praying all will be resolved soon….
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🙂 Mothes’ Day roses are in bloom
🙂 Ground orchids are in bloom
🙂 This Smartphone takes good close-ups of flowers
🙂 Got the yard mowed before heat wave
😦 Peter and Kim’s moving woes
🙂 Almost finished with book to review
😉 Bosley when she is cuddly
😦 Bosley when she nips and bites
🙂 Bosley’s new bed
🙂 Church tomorrow
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Thank you, Donna. I don’t think insurance would cover this. I’ve trying to call an Amish roofer but have not gotten anyone to answer the phone. (Yes, he is allowed a phone since he has a business, but the phone cannot be in the house. It’s probably in the barn where no one can here it.) If I wanted, I could make a twenty mile drive to a harness shop owner who knows the roofer and could give me directions. But I’ve tried that with these Amish before. I don’t think they no how to give good directions. I got a hold of another roofer a friend recommended and he is coming Monday to give us an estimate. The good news is he doesn’t have pressing jobs for a few weeks so he can delay one of them to do ours. That deserves a 🙂 !
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😦 The last two Saturdays, R was supposed to have Forrest, but never showed up or called. (Actually, per the agreement that he insisted on, he’s supposed to get Forrest on Friday night & keep most of the day Saturday, but he keeps deciding to just pick him up on Saturday morning, then never shows up.)
Today he is house-sitting for his parents, here in town, only five minutes away. He said that, although he would again not take Forrest on Friday night, he would definitely pick him up this morning.
So, of course, Chrissy & I ended up babysitting all day again.
It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with my grandson (believe me, I spend a lot of time with my little guy), what irks me is how he blows off his own son, along with his complete disregard for my time (& Chrissy’s), & doesn’t even bother to call.
Yesterday I pushed myself to finish a cleaning project that took a bit of physical exertion, even though my undiagnosed-but-very-much-like-fibromyalgia was flaring up. I figured I’d have today off to rest & relax somewhat. That didn’t happen, & I was (am) in a lot of pain.
🙂 Nice “family dinner” evening with Lee, Emily, Chrissy, & Forrest. Lee brought home bake-it-yourself pizza from Aldi’s. It’s very good! 16″ pizzas for only five or six dollars, depending on which kind you choose.
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Karen, in the case of our children, they had many many no shows with their parents. Same as when we had foster children. The parents would say they were going to do something and constantly dropped the ball. The ones that end up not getting their children back are the ones that never figure it out. But many do make the adjustment to remembering their children are actually people worthy of respect. So, to me, it is not shocking at all that he does not keep the appointments. Write it down, time and date and whether he showed up. Document, document, document.
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Karen, it’s natural to want a rest, and you may need to look for ways to have others come alongside more. But realistically, you don’t want / need a break at Forrest’s expense, so the lack of follow-through may well be a blessing (esp. in the long term).
My mom ended up bearing three children in her 40s (I’m the first of those three) in a 38-month time period. I am sure that she often felt tired and overwhelmed, and I do remember that she often didn’t have much energy. But the reality is we were her full-time job from God. I don’t know if it would help you to think of Forrest as your responsibility from God right now. Not just “if his father isn’t available, I guess I’ll take care of him,” but your responsibility almost as much as if you had borne him yourself. If others–responsible, loving people–can come alongside, then great. But if not, then you have the same hard but noble task my mother had (and that Mumsee has) of loving a child later in life than you had initially planned, but well within God’s plan.
I am sorry it is so hard, though. When I was in Chicago, I once went to my church and told them, “I know we have a lot of single mothers, but I have no way of knowing which ones have very limited time and resources and which ones have plenty of help from family. I’m willing to take one or two evenings a week and babysit, no charge, if there’s a way you can direct me to who has such a need, or even tell people there is such an offer and see who comes forward. Maybe other single people would join in, too, if we find that the need is really high.” But all I could get from church leadership was, “We don’t know. Why don’t you ask around?” I suggested a note in the church bulletin, but they didn’t want to do that and pretty much just acted like I had a silly idea. My own connections in the church were mostly the older people, and I was just out of my element in terms of figuring out how to determine who had true needs, and I figured the pastors would know/ should know such a thing. (It was one of the pastors that I asked.) But the old “I dunno” response didn’t encourage me even to pursue it further, and I ended up volunteering elsewhere instead (a bad experience, but that’s a different story). I guess my point is that there may be others like me, available like I was, but unsure how to make the connection. Maybe a responsible teenager in your church would be available to come over and help out (you’re there, but she’s helping you with whatever needs to be done) for just a dollar or two an hour, sort of volunteer work but with just a little spending money. (One of my friends has a daughter who did that when she was 13.)
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Husband plans to be home in less than two weeks! And he should be home for nearly two more weeks!
It is raining today and the plan is for it to continue raining for the week. That is good. We got all of the mowing and weed eating done for the week and things planted so they could use the cloud cover and water.
God blesses us in so many ways….
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Praising Him with you Mumsee. Hurrah!! and hallelujah
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Mumsee – Oh yes, I am documenting all this. He claims he wants to spend much more time with his son, but doesn’t. When he & Emily met with the lawyer to try to come up with an agreement, he started off claiming he wanted primary custody, to have Forrest at his house four days a week. The lawyer pointed out that if they went before a judge (rather than a mediator), his poor performance from the month before would likely result in getting less time, & having to pay child support, a thing he has steadfastly refused to do.
So they agreed he would have Forrest Wednesday evening to early Thursday afternoon, & Friday evening to late Saturday afternoon. This was what he said he wanted.
Of course, the truth is that he wants to control & manipulate Emily more than he actually cares about Forrest.
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We are so relieved to have no rain for a bit. Sunshine has been scarce around here.
Nice to hear, mumsee.
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Cheryl – What you wrote about having a break at Forrest’s expense is something I do feel guilty about. But my complaint isn’t even so much that R doesn’t take Forrest very often, it’s that he says he will, but changes his mind, & then doesn’t even bother to call.
The way I look at it is this – legally, R is supposed to have time with his son, & Forrest needs to have some sort of relationship with his father. So although being with R is not the best thing for Forrest, it’s something that is supposed to happen, so rather than fret over that, I should enjoy the break. I know this can sound heartless, but that’s not how I feel. I feel torn between feeling happy when I have some time to myself, & knowing that R isn’t always a good for Forrest.
And yes, I do feel that taking care of Forrest when his mommy can not be here is my God-given responsibility. And yeah, sometimes it’s a tough one.
As for having someone help me, I really am very grateful for Chrissy’s help. She is able to help me most of the time, & we make a great team.
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Karen, I have always found it hard to deal with people who don’t keep their word (or don’t do what they’ve been told to do), so I understand. But it seems to me that mentally you need somehow to switch from hoping he will actually follow through this week to expecting that he won’t. Don’t let him get to you. He’s irresponsible, he doesn’t care about Forrest in any meaningful way, and just expect that he probably won’t show up and plan on that. If you need to send something with Forrest (a change of clothes and Pull-Ups, or whatever), then maybe just keep that packed just in case (and periodically make sure that what is packed still fits), but otherwise go about as though it isn’t going to happen. And then, if he does show up, it could be a “surprise” for Forrest and a day away. (And yes, you’ll have meltdowns and all of that.) But it isn’t going to be a dependable thing without major heart change in Forrest’s dad, so don’t plan as though it will. Keep track of it so you can document it, but otherwise do your best to forget there was ever such an agreement, because it probably isn’t ever going to happen.
Why does Forrest need to have some sort of relationship with his father? In an ideal world, yes. But a father who is a moral and maybe physical danger to him isn’t really one of his needs. He has a grandfather who is good male role model, and that may well need to be “enough.”
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