It’s Thursday, so please remember to pray for Jo, her new class, and the rest of the people in PNG.
Anyone else?
Psalm 49
¹Hear this, all ye people; give ear, all ye inhabitants of the world:
2 Both low and high, rich and poor, together.
3 My mouth shall speak of wisdom; and the meditation of my heart shall be of understanding.
4 I will incline mine ear to a parable: I will open my dark saying upon the harp.
5 Wherefore should I fear in the days of evil, when the iniquity of my heels shall compass me about?
6 They that trust in their wealth, and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches;
7 None of them can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to God a ransom for him:
8 (For the redemption of their soul is precious, and it ceaseth for ever)
9 That he should still live for ever, and not see corruption.
10 For he seeth that wise men die, likewise the fool and the brutish person perish, and leave their wealth to others.
11 Their inward thought is, that their houses shall continue for ever, and their dwelling places to all generations; they call their lands after their own names.
12 Nevertheless man being in honour abideth not: he is like the beasts that perish.
13 This their way is their folly: yet their posterity approve their sayings. Selah.
14 Like sheep they are laid in the grave; death shall feed on them; and the upright shall have dominion over them in the morning; and their beauty shall consume in the grave from their dwelling.
15 But God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave: for he shall receive me. Selah.
16 Be not thou afraid when one is made rich, when the glory of his house is increased;
17 For when he dieth he shall carry nothing away: his glory shall not descend after him.
18 Though while he lived he blessed his soul: and men will praise thee, when thou doest well to thyself.
19 He shall go to the generation of his fathers; they shall never see light.
20 Man that is in honour, and understandeth not, is like the beasts that perish.
BG is having an upper GI and a sonogram today to see what is wrong with her stomach that makes her nauseous whenever she eats. She has lost about 9 pounds in the last month and that isn’t good.
I am a Nervous Nellie any time she has to be sedated. We get to repeat that fun on Monday when she has her wisdom teeth removed.
Thank you.
You are truly beyond whatever we can imagine in Your capacity for love and wisdom. You are our healer and providence. Please give BG a goodoutcome from these necessary procedures. She is Your child first. May Kim rest from anxiety in knowing how much You love BG. I pray for BG to stay on track with Jesus. In His name, Amen
For those who may not have seen it, last night I wrote “…the urologist said that the blood in the urine is due to the prostate cancer. If it coagulates too much, they’d have to put in a catheter.
“For now, he urged Lee to reschedule the bone scan (to check for malignant tumors) & to get the second Lupron shot that he had put off getting (the shots are close to $10,000!). Lee is going to make those appointments tomorrow.
“It’s been a difficult day emotionally for Lee, & for me, too. I have more to write, but I’ll save it for tomorrow.”
The part about the catheter was supposed to say that if he finds he can’t urinate, he would have to go to the ER to be catheterized.
He had stopped taking a medication that has the effect of somewhat thinning the blood, which could have accounted for the little clots he had. He’s going to go back on that.
Lee is so very discouraged & at times, despondent even, over the possibility that he may only have a couple short years left. Of course, almost anyone would feel that way, but I want to tell you why he feels that way.
For one thing, he is, at present, the only godly, stable man in Forrest’s life. He wants to be here for Forrest, to see him, & help him, grow up to be a godly man of integrity. We do realize, though, that God can raise up another godly man in Forrest’s life. Another thing we realize is that we need to release Forrest & his future to God. IOW, not cling to the thought that he absolutely needs Lee to be there for him, & trust God to be there for him, to fill in the gap that losing his Papa would leave. Of course, whether or not Forrest “needs” him, Lee would like to have more time with him, to see him grow up more, & to get to know any other grandchildren that may come along.
One of Lee’s great frustrations with how long it is taking to sell this route is that he had greatly hoped to have a lot more time to spend with our little guy this summer. July is already waning, & Forrest will begin all-day kindergarten on August 27.
Then there’s this: Lee knows that for many years, particularly while the girls were growing up, the way alcoholism affected his personality made him harsh & insensitive at times. He also acknowledges that he hasn’t always been a kind husband.
Now he is at a point in his life where he is closer to God than he’s ever been, or ever dreamed of being, before. He has been a better husband, & a better father (although, with the girls grown, there’s not much “fathering” for him to do anymore). He’s been hoping to have time to help out in some kind of ministry when he finally has time, after the route sells. In addition to wanting to be here for Forrest, he wants to be of more help to each of our daughters. And he doesn’t want to leave me alone.
For the last several years, we haven’t had much time together as a couple, & he has looked forward to growing old with me, treating me as he wish he had treated me all along.
(He hasn’t been as bad as this makes it sound. He’s been mostly a good father & a good husband, but there have been times that weren’t so good.)
I want those things for him, for all of us, too. (Crying as I write all this.) But I told him that even if we don’t have many years ahead, we have now. I am grateful for how especially loving & sweet he has been over the past year or so. On one hand, that makes me long for more of that, & long to grow old together, holding hands through it all, growing in our relationship with God, & with each other. On the other hand, if I have to lose him relatively young, at least we will have had this sweet time together.
Lee & I have each surrendered our wants, our longings, to God. Although we would love for Lee to be healed, & to have a long, full life, above all else, we want all God’s will to be done in us. But, as you may imagine, this surrendering is something that has to be done over & over, as our own wants & fears rise up in us. May God find us faithful.
Karen, I don’t possess the words to say. {{{{Karen}}}}
BTW we are home. They didn’t have to sedate BG. They didn’t see anything but are sending the results to the doctor. G met me there. His relationship with his daughter is not good right now, but I have spent time on that end. I understand. I told him yesterday I longed for him to have the relationship with her that I had with my dad. He did ask her to go to dinner with him tonight.
Karen,
i, too, am weeping with you. Often I think about how I would like to visit with you in person, and pray with you. It is harder these days for me to post prayers because I think my eyes are getting a bit worse. I hate to mess up on prayers more than on other posts. It is frustrating to see the needs for prayer and not feel I can post so I have been a bit neglectful in getting to the prayer thread. Please forgive me. You are in my prayers though they are not always so specific. Karen, you are so good at expressing your dear feelings.
♡
Thank you all. God is good, & has sent me some special encouragement today.
Kim – You are a good mother, & a good ex-wife. After the way G & his family treated you while BG was with them, no one would expect you to give a hoot about his relationship with BG. God bless you for taking the higher road.
Oh, {{{Karen}}}, the tears started as I came to the end of your post. I just don’t know what to say, but may you feel the Lord’s sheltering under the covert of His wings as the storms of life threaten and rage. You are secure in Him, and He is faithful.
No 6Arrows, she has not. Now that you mention it I will check into it. She eats no fruits nor vegetables. She eats proteins and carbs.
The doctor’s office called. The tests showed severe constipation. We have had this problem before. Mr, P was out running errands and was going by Wal-Mart -Lordy, I can’t keep that man out of Wally World—I sent a text that we needed Miralax-she is full of poop. His response was “As if we didn’t know”.
Karen, thank you for your kind words. I don’t have many good memories of my mother. Every memory is shaded by the alcoholism or lies. During one of the alcohol treatment centers she went through my father was introduced to the concept of “detachment”. He took to it like a duck takes to water. He immediately “detached”. Now that doesn’t mean he really did anything about her, but it was no longer his problem. There was a period of time where he would tell me “YOUR mother…” He especially liked to point out all the errors of her ways and where I might be susceptible of repeating any of them. One day I told him that he was talking about half of me and when he said ugly things about her he was saying ugly things about me.
One day I told him that I was an innocent child. He chose her as a wife and made her my mother—I didn’t have a choice in the matter. What she did I am an innocent child. You were an adult and you chose her so what does that say about you? It took a few times of me saying that but he eventually stopped. He tried to tell my stepmother how awful my mother was but she told him that (mother) was my mother and she didn’t want to hear it.
Gradually BG will come to understand certain things. She doesn’t need me harping on them. I have never wanted to be that parent that put the other parent down. He isn’t perfect but at one time I thought he was hotter than Tom Cruise and Don Johnson combined and I chose to marry him and made him her father. What I would or wouldn’t say about him would reflect more on me than it would on him.
Now, before you think I am too perfect for words, there are other people that are sorry, no count, worthless, poor excuses for human beings and I would gladly point out all their faults and tell you just why I don’t like them and wouldn’t cross the road to spit on them if they were on fire…..but that’s another story.
Karen, that is one of the most beautiful testimonies I have ever read. It speaks in the Bible about Christians who walk in obedience being a “sweet savour to Christ”, and that it just what you and Lee seem like to us. I know something of how much you and Lee want to have more time. So, I tell this story to encourage you both. I had a great uncle, who spent his life as an alcoholic and not a very nice man; but in the last few weeks of his life, as he lay dying in the hospital, he came to Christ. His conversion was so genuine, that people who knew him marveled at the change. He testified of Christ to those who cared for him. In a very real way, that change, coming at the end of a long, misspent life, wiped out the past for his family. It was only a few short weeks, but it was the only part that mattered in the light of eternity. Christ, in the parable of the vineyard labourers, said that those who only worked in the last hour received the same wage as those who had worked all day.
Glad you’ll be checking into celiac testing for BG, Kim. Sorry if I hadn’t mentioned it before this — I don’t remember if I did, but symptoms like fatigue, nausea and significant weight loss can all be indicators of celiac, though they could, of course, be due to other things. And stress is often the trigger that initiates the symptoms of CD — a person with celiac can be symptom-free for a long time, but a very stressful event (like maybe the break-up with that boy?) can trigger full-blown symptoms. The gut lining, meanwhile, is getting damaged each time a person with celiac consumes gluten-filled grains.
I pray she doesn’t have that, but it’s good to get it checked out with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
Karen, I didn’t have any words as I read your posts this morning . . . but know that I have prayed for you, and will as I think about you and your family in the days ahead. May God grant you more years together, but however many there are, may they be good ones.
Wandering Views 
BG is having an upper GI and a sonogram today to see what is wrong with her stomach that makes her nauseous whenever she eats. She has lost about 9 pounds in the last month and that isn’t good.
I am a Nervous Nellie any time she has to be sedated. We get to repeat that fun on Monday when she has her wisdom teeth removed.
Thank you.
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Oh, they will start about 8am Central
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Heavenly Father,
You are truly beyond whatever we can imagine in Your capacity for love and wisdom. You are our healer and providence. Please give BG a goodoutcome from these necessary procedures. She is Your child first. May Kim rest from anxiety in knowing how much You love BG. I pray for BG to stay on track with Jesus. In His name, Amen
LikeLiked by 4 people
For those who may not have seen it, last night I wrote “…the urologist said that the blood in the urine is due to the prostate cancer. If it coagulates too much, they’d have to put in a catheter.
“For now, he urged Lee to reschedule the bone scan (to check for malignant tumors) & to get the second Lupron shot that he had put off getting (the shots are close to $10,000!). Lee is going to make those appointments tomorrow.
“It’s been a difficult day emotionally for Lee, & for me, too. I have more to write, but I’ll save it for tomorrow.”
The part about the catheter was supposed to say that if he finds he can’t urinate, he would have to go to the ER to be catheterized.
He had stopped taking a medication that has the effect of somewhat thinning the blood, which could have accounted for the little clots he had. He’s going to go back on that.
LikeLike
Now for what I said I would write today…
Lee is so very discouraged & at times, despondent even, over the possibility that he may only have a couple short years left. Of course, almost anyone would feel that way, but I want to tell you why he feels that way.
For one thing, he is, at present, the only godly, stable man in Forrest’s life. He wants to be here for Forrest, to see him, & help him, grow up to be a godly man of integrity. We do realize, though, that God can raise up another godly man in Forrest’s life. Another thing we realize is that we need to release Forrest & his future to God. IOW, not cling to the thought that he absolutely needs Lee to be there for him, & trust God to be there for him, to fill in the gap that losing his Papa would leave. Of course, whether or not Forrest “needs” him, Lee would like to have more time with him, to see him grow up more, & to get to know any other grandchildren that may come along.
One of Lee’s great frustrations with how long it is taking to sell this route is that he had greatly hoped to have a lot more time to spend with our little guy this summer. July is already waning, & Forrest will begin all-day kindergarten on August 27.
Then there’s this: Lee knows that for many years, particularly while the girls were growing up, the way alcoholism affected his personality made him harsh & insensitive at times. He also acknowledges that he hasn’t always been a kind husband.
Now he is at a point in his life where he is closer to God than he’s ever been, or ever dreamed of being, before. He has been a better husband, & a better father (although, with the girls grown, there’s not much “fathering” for him to do anymore). He’s been hoping to have time to help out in some kind of ministry when he finally has time, after the route sells. In addition to wanting to be here for Forrest, he wants to be of more help to each of our daughters. And he doesn’t want to leave me alone.
For the last several years, we haven’t had much time together as a couple, & he has looked forward to growing old with me, treating me as he wish he had treated me all along.
(He hasn’t been as bad as this makes it sound. He’s been mostly a good father & a good husband, but there have been times that weren’t so good.)
I want those things for him, for all of us, too. (Crying as I write all this.) But I told him that even if we don’t have many years ahead, we have now. I am grateful for how especially loving & sweet he has been over the past year or so. On one hand, that makes me long for more of that, & long to grow old together, holding hands through it all, growing in our relationship with God, & with each other. On the other hand, if I have to lose him relatively young, at least we will have had this sweet time together.
Lee & I have each surrendered our wants, our longings, to God. Although we would love for Lee to be healed, & to have a long, full life, above all else, we want all God’s will to be done in us. But, as you may imagine, this surrendering is something that has to be done over & over, as our own wants & fears rise up in us. May God find us faithful.
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Amen.
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I pray for you and your situation often Karen.
Any report on the exam Kim?
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Karen, I don’t possess the words to say. {{{{Karen}}}}
BTW we are home. They didn’t have to sedate BG. They didn’t see anything but are sending the results to the doctor. G met me there. His relationship with his daughter is not good right now, but I have spent time on that end. I understand. I told him yesterday I longed for him to have the relationship with her that I had with my dad. He did ask her to go to dinner with him tonight.
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Weeping with you, Karen.
M
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Karen,
i, too, am weeping with you. Often I think about how I would like to visit with you in person, and pray with you. It is harder these days for me to post prayers because I think my eyes are getting a bit worse. I hate to mess up on prayers more than on other posts. It is frustrating to see the needs for prayer and not feel I can post so I have been a bit neglectful in getting to the prayer thread. Please forgive me. You are in my prayers though they are not always so specific. Karen, you are so good at expressing your dear feelings.
♡
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Thank you all. God is good, & has sent me some special encouragement today.
Kim – You are a good mother, & a good ex-wife. After the way G & his family treated you while BG was with them, no one would expect you to give a hoot about his relationship with BG. God bless you for taking the higher road.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Oh, {{{Karen}}}, the tears started as I came to the end of your post. I just don’t know what to say, but may you feel the Lord’s sheltering under the covert of His wings as the storms of life threaten and rage. You are secure in Him, and He is faithful.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Kim, has BG ever been tested for celiac disease? I think of that possibility so often when you describe some of her physical symptoms.
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You and BG do have my prayers, I meant to add.
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No 6Arrows, she has not. Now that you mention it I will check into it. She eats no fruits nor vegetables. She eats proteins and carbs.
The doctor’s office called. The tests showed severe constipation. We have had this problem before. Mr, P was out running errands and was going by Wal-Mart -Lordy, I can’t keep that man out of Wally World—I sent a text that we needed Miralax-she is full of poop. His response was “As if we didn’t know”.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Karen, thank you for your kind words. I don’t have many good memories of my mother. Every memory is shaded by the alcoholism or lies. During one of the alcohol treatment centers she went through my father was introduced to the concept of “detachment”. He took to it like a duck takes to water. He immediately “detached”. Now that doesn’t mean he really did anything about her, but it was no longer his problem. There was a period of time where he would tell me “YOUR mother…” He especially liked to point out all the errors of her ways and where I might be susceptible of repeating any of them. One day I told him that he was talking about half of me and when he said ugly things about her he was saying ugly things about me.
One day I told him that I was an innocent child. He chose her as a wife and made her my mother—I didn’t have a choice in the matter. What she did I am an innocent child. You were an adult and you chose her so what does that say about you? It took a few times of me saying that but he eventually stopped. He tried to tell my stepmother how awful my mother was but she told him that (mother) was my mother and she didn’t want to hear it.
Gradually BG will come to understand certain things. She doesn’t need me harping on them. I have never wanted to be that parent that put the other parent down. He isn’t perfect but at one time I thought he was hotter than Tom Cruise and Don Johnson combined and I chose to marry him and made him her father. What I would or wouldn’t say about him would reflect more on me than it would on him.
Now, before you think I am too perfect for words, there are other people that are sorry, no count, worthless, poor excuses for human beings and I would gladly point out all their faults and tell you just why I don’t like them and wouldn’t cross the road to spit on them if they were on fire…..but that’s another story.
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Karen, that is one of the most beautiful testimonies I have ever read. It speaks in the Bible about Christians who walk in obedience being a “sweet savour to Christ”, and that it just what you and Lee seem like to us. I know something of how much you and Lee want to have more time. So, I tell this story to encourage you both. I had a great uncle, who spent his life as an alcoholic and not a very nice man; but in the last few weeks of his life, as he lay dying in the hospital, he came to Christ. His conversion was so genuine, that people who knew him marveled at the change. He testified of Christ to those who cared for him. In a very real way, that change, coming at the end of a long, misspent life, wiped out the past for his family. It was only a few short weeks, but it was the only part that mattered in the light of eternity. Christ, in the parable of the vineyard labourers, said that those who only worked in the last hour received the same wage as those who had worked all day.
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Thank you, Roscuro.
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Glad you’ll be checking into celiac testing for BG, Kim. Sorry if I hadn’t mentioned it before this — I don’t remember if I did, but symptoms like fatigue, nausea and significant weight loss can all be indicators of celiac, though they could, of course, be due to other things. And stress is often the trigger that initiates the symptoms of CD — a person with celiac can be symptom-free for a long time, but a very stressful event (like maybe the break-up with that boy?) can trigger full-blown symptoms. The gut lining, meanwhile, is getting damaged each time a person with celiac consumes gluten-filled grains.
I pray she doesn’t have that, but it’s good to get it checked out with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
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Karen, I didn’t have any words as I read your posts this morning . . . but know that I have prayed for you, and will as I think about you and your family in the days ahead. May God grant you more years together, but however many there are, may they be good ones.
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Thank you, Cheryl.
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