Good morning AJ, et. al.
I’m sorry about 6 Arrows’ friend.
I am attending a funeral today. A friend died suddenly last Sunday.
Fellow Lion, SS class member. I am constrained in my activities here, so I don’t have friends, as such, like in Hendersonville. But Richard was a lot of help to me.
Seeming different, but extremely relevant, I noticed the stories on TV about little people destroying the statues of big people.
The stock in trade of little people is to make big people look bad. But Robert E Lee doesn’t care what someone does to his statue and he wouldn’t mind if they moved every grave from his home site
I have considered this extensively in the past few years, and concluded:
It isn’t want a man does in his short life here, but what he leaves behind.
I have always wanted to leave a trail. Everywhere I went. That it made a difference that I was there.
Hooray for AJ! Through thick and thin, rain and snow, and worst of all . . . Covid, he has been a diligent and faithful servant to keep this going. Thank you, AJ.
The funnies don’t actually come out all at once on Friday. They’re added here and there throughout the week, and we can look at them any time. But Peter’s link every Friday means “Funnies Time” for me.
Ditto on all the appreciation to AJ, to Peter, and to Chas for the different ways they serve us. And the rest of you, each contributing care, prayers, wisdom, and perspective.
6 Arrows, I’m praying for you and for Karen’s family. My mother’s timeline was so similar to hers. She died of cancer at 55 after 32 years of marriage to my dad, when I was 31 and my sibs in their 20s. That is so young.
After “Three Wooden Crosses”, you have a chance to hear Randy Travis sing “Just a Closer Walk”.; I don’t care for his voice, but it is a good rendition.
Morning! Aj when your tests came back positive my thought was that even then you were holding us together. All I could muster was “wow”. Thanks for your ministry to us brother…
It is a beautiful day and I need to wrap up some of these home maintenance projects. At least the temps will top out in the 80’s and all the projects are outdoors. The birds will be flitting about, I will hear the babies in the bird houses and nests calling out to Mom and Dad to be fed. The deer are roaming around the back of the property and who knows, one of the bluebirds might mistake me for Cinderella and start singing to me from a branch overhead! 😂
Well, my nephew’s test came back negative. Figured it would, as he was already bouncing back with the antibiotics he was given. We suspect he poisoned himself with drinking dirty water outside. He drives his poor mother nearly to distraction with what he gets up to. He is the size of a four year old with the mindset of the two year old he is.
6 Arrows, I’m always surprised when I find out someone in their sixties still has both parents–my own life experience has been so different. When I married my husband, he was 50 and still had both parents and both of his (former) in-laws . . . so the girls had lost their mother (at 12 and 14) but still had all four grandparents. (Three are gone now). I lost my dad when I was almost 17 and had my mom till I was 36. I think it’s a lot easier on the children if they are at least into their 20s (my dad’s death wasn’t nearly as hard on my brothers, all living on their own, as on those of us still living at home, and in effect we lost our mom along with losing our dad, since she sank into grief).
The reality is, it always feels too soon. If the children are grown, then it’s the grandchildren. My oldest niece struggled with losing her mom because my grandniece wouldn’t remember the grandmother who had loved her so much–but my own grandparents all died before I was born, so I didn’t have any to lose. But you always want the parent / friend to live to see this daughter married, to see grandchildren, to see the grandchildren graduate high school, to see great-grands . . . death is an enemy, and it always feels too early.
I had not heard that Three Wooden Crosses song. It is well written. What a blessing to hear it.
We are having more activity on our church prayer hotline lately. How nice it is to be on a dedicated team like this. We have our Friday team prayer over the phone a little later. I was asked yesterday to be the leader of that time since the other leader has some time conflicts.
Wow, what a thread today. I was thinking last night as I was writing here about Karen that she is leaving behind a legacy of faithfulness to the Lord, evident to her family and friends.
Then I come here today and read Chas’s “I have always wanted to leave a trail. Everywhere I went. That it made a difference that I was there.” And that’s exactly it, Chas. You, too, are leaving a legacy, and we and all who know and love you are the beneficiaries.
And that song, Kathaleena! I had never heard it, but how beautiful it is, and so fitting for today’s discussion. Well, fitting for any and all time, but very timely today. Thanks for sharing it.
Kevin, oh my, the similarities between your mom and Karen! And her oldest, a son, is also 31.
How long did your mom battle cancer? What were your thoughts/emotions during that time, if you don’t mind my asking?
Cheryl, yes, I can think of very few people I know around my age who still have both parents. A couple local friends come to mind. They have all their siblings, too, as do I. But most people my age have lost at least one of their parents, and quite a few both. It’s an unusual and great blessing, still having both of mine.
I do think it would be much harder to lose a parent in childhood, but I think, too, that how we respond to loss and grief is a very individual thing.
The children of one of my friends who died in 2011, who were ages 7-15 or so when their mom passed, seem to have done very well. Their dad is very grounded in his faith in Christ, as was their mom when she was living. I think that would be a comfort, having a parent rooted in the Word — children observing their living parent’s peace that comes through Christ.
Karen’s husband is a man of faith, as well. I am thankful for that.
6 Arrows, I checked with Art late last night and he said I gave you the right info. Since I don’t go to the annual update schools I am never sure if something that was law before may have changed so I am reluctant to give advice. I am glad you found it helpful.
I did not read the previous post before I posted about the taxes.
It’s so neat when things are so well aligned like the posts today to meet emotional needs at this time for you, Six Arrows.
I can’t help but notice the contrast of how our friends named Karen are dealing with their struggles. I am saddened, too, by my friend Karen and have wondered if she is pushing me away because she may be near death, too.
Janice, thanks for following up (1:20). I appreciate it much.
Does the IRS change things every year? 🙂 It seemed so to me! I did our own taxes the years I wasn’t self-employed with teaching piano (2004-2014), and most if not all of those years the tax booklet I’d pick up at the library would say “New this year:…”.
Doing our taxes then was uncomplicated, and would still be now (maybe), except for having self-employment tax and related things to figure, which I don’t trust myself to do correctly.
6 It is always hard to lose a friend close to your age. As you know you all prayed for my friend Leslie. She was 11 months younger. Back in 2012 I lost another “girl” I grew up with. She was 5 months younger. Love her through this. Do what you need to do now so that when it is over you will have no regrets.
Ok. I have to tell someone this. I just won $500!!!! I took a wealth building class. They were giving away $5,000 to one person and $1,000 to five people, earlier when they did the recap of the class. There were questions to answer and I submitted mine yesterday. They ended up giving away close to $18,000 and to the top five people that participated the most on the FB page they gave $500. I was one of them. I am so giddy. I always say, if I am every selling raffle tickets you want to buy one from me, because I always sell the winning one. I can’t remember winning anything. I’m sure at some point I must have, but I don’t remember it.
A hint for 5 arrows. Don’t worry about it. Do what you think is best. They will let you know if you do something wrong. I don’t mean jail either. It’s either a check or a bill.
When I sold my house in Hendersonville, and bought one is Greensboro, I came out with a profit. I had so much going on that I completely forgot to include that in my tax that year.
They sent me a friendly letter and a bill.
They wanted my money, not me.
I feel much better now. I called the number of the tax service person my husband mentioned, and he said there wouldn’t be any trouble if both he and the tax preparer who got our original copies of the W-2, etc. tried to file on our behalf. Which ever one would file second would simply get a bounce-back, a notice that those taxes had already been filed.
I was concerned there would be trouble for us if it looked like we were trying to get a refund twice, but he assured me that wouldn’t be the case.
My husband now has a duplicate copy in hand of his W-2, and I called and requested duplicates of our investment statement and pertinent bank documents. They could print them immediately, and I drove into town just now and got them!
Easy peasy. We’ll take the duplicates to the new preparer, and he laid out exactly what we could expect, and there won’t be any need to file for an extension.
We should have done this before instead of stew about what was taking so long with the original preparer. Live and learn.
—
I talked with Karen’s husband on the phone a bit ago. She is up to receiving visitors, and I’ll be going over to the house at 7:00 tonight. I told Mike that if I stay too long and Karen’s getting tired, “Don’t be afraid to give me the boot.” 🙂 He laughed.
He’s doing fine, he said, and he sounds like it.
An encouraging afternoon after a rather tumultuous week. Thank you, Lord!
Six Arrows, may that be a precious time with your friend. I treasure so many memories from my last months of visiting my sister-in-law. If living in Nashville did nothing else but allow me to live near her (and her family) the last six years of her life, it was enough.
Oh, I am so glad the new preparer is ready for you, Six Arrows. And that is right that it will kick out if another has been filed. We don’t like to see the rejects because it often means one of two things. It could be identity theft or trouble with an ex-spouse claiming a dependent child that they have no right to claim (In that case a duplicate child’s SSN has shown up on two returns).
Yes, there are changes to the tax code and regs each year. It generates dollars for trainers and large hotels doing conferences for preparers to go through all the changes.
I’m exhausted. Another frantic day at work — our immediate editor is off today so the senior editor, who is beyond a workaholic and expects everyone else to be as well, emails me first thing asking if I can cover a big homeless event at noon on the steps of downtown LA City Hall.
I can barely walk, but I suppose he’s forgotten that or figures I’m better now. I told him no, I’d never make it but if they’re live-streaming it or putting it on FB Live I can handle it. They apparently weren’t when I checked (though later the organizer texted me at 1 minute before noon that it would be on FB Live after all). So another reporter was sent down while I was given the task of covering the daily Covid-19 number rollout for LA County and could do a port story before that.
Meanwhile, the county agency that provided all those homeless count numbers (some of them wrong) to us? They emailed us at 1 a.m. saying, oops, some other numbers were wrong.
So that needed correcting.
I’m about to get ready to head off to the physical therapist (I also had to scramble to fill out all the paperwork needed for that).
Ever felt so tired and burned out that you just wanted to hide under the covers for a week?
Well, my family had the reunion this week. I talked to most of them by Zoom a few days ago. Interestingly, a big reason I wanted to be there was that I wanted to see my sister face to face and have her remember I’m not the ogre she has made me out to be in her mind. But I realized that if 52 years of loving her haven’t let her sense my love, another week wouldn’t either. Back to childhood, I wanted to be her “friend” and assumed she wanted that too, but when I think back, I don’t remember her making overtures of friendship to me. I don’t think she ever wanted that; I don’t know that she has ever felt anything for me but contempt. And that’s not really my problem, nor something I can solve. Her accusations against me are all motives, not actions, as though she can read my heart. (She accuses me of being unempathetic toward her, trying to manipulate her, and wanting a “fake” relationship and not a real one.) She has no actual complaints of any actions I’ve done, or for that matter any omissions. (I’ve traveled to be with her and support her in all the major events of her life. Two weeks when her husband died, but also several trips to help prepare for her wedding and going for the birth of each of her children and their house fire.)
I also wanted to see her children, since it has been four years since I’ve seen any of them, and they are now 12 to 21, so those are four significant years. I haven’t even seen photos of any but the oldest two, and those just from Facebook and her commerce site. If we ever do another family reunion (it is six years since the previous one), several of her children may be married or too busy with life to travel, and I was afraid that if I didn’t see them this time, I might not be able to keep any connection going. I have called each on his or her birthday each year, but honestly the purpose for that was to lay a foundation so that by the time they were at the current ages, we could have actual relationships. I imagined calling the house and chatting with whoever answered, or having one or two come at a time to spend a week or two with me. Now that they are old enough for good interaction, I have been all but cut off from them for two years.
Anyway, I didn’t know until the Zoom meeting with my youngest brother (who took his device around so we could say hi to everyone else) that my sister wasn’t even at the reunion, and only her oldest son was there. I hadn’t known she wouldn’t be there; word was that everyone had said yes. I don’t know what reason she gave, though I know she had said she never again wants to see our youngest brother (they are less than two years apart and were very, very close when we were children). I had wondered how she would go to the same family reunion as him, but thought that she must have decided not to avoid all family in order to avoid him. But apparently she and the children at home are self-excluding from family so as not to interact with him. Since she is making the same accusations against me that she made against him (though she also accused him of “abuse” and she never accused me of that; apparently he said something in a text that she didn’t like), if she thought I was going to be there, she may well have seen my presence as negative, too. Anyway, it ended up being a reunion of just my five brothers, not the sisters, and I’m glad I didn’t risk my health and my husband’s for a reunion that wasn’t even going to allow me to see her and her children. (I dearly want to see my brothers, too, but the yearning was for the one who has estranged herself from me, and the children I saw several times a year through most of their childhood.)
It was a hard decision to make not to go, but the right decision. And finding out she and her children weren’t even there confirmed it to be the right call.
I had a Zoom meeting at 3AM (international group), walked with a friend at 8, work Zoom at 10:30, work lunch for two birthdays at 12:30, then filed for an hour; another Zoom class at 4:30.
Still haven’t begun the fifth VBS play and after a wine and lunch paring at a Vineyard–best meal since Christmas–I’m done for the day.
Mr. Grocery Shopper (!!!!!!!), picked up a few items and is finishing up his work week. The last two kids show up tomorrow and we vacation for five days on Sunday.
This has been hectic and crazy–and vacation with all 15 of us doesn’t sound any different–but being all together will be wonderful.
Janice, he didn’t say anything about charges / no charge, and I didn’t ask. At this point, I’m prepared to pay both preparers if we end up getting billed by both. Having the whole thing over and done with is our primary objective now.
I was thinking this evening that I might give our original preparer one last chance to get it done. Other than those years I mentioned above when I did our taxes, she has been my husband’s or our tax preparer since before we even got married 34 years ago. This is her last year of doing taxes, she announced in January, and it feels sad to me to end on such a negative note. But when she closes off every avenue of communication except for email, and she doesn’t answer emails sent over a month ago and recently, after she’d presumably already had our papers for 5 1/2 weeks and 10 weeks, respectively, we have no choice but to seek alternatives.
Anyway, I thought about writing her that we’ve gotten a duplicate W-2 and other necessary documents and will be taking them to another preparer on Monday unless she calls us — so there’s no chance of email delivery failure — by noon on Monday, telling us that she has finished and filed our taxes.
Something simple, direct, and matter-of-fact. Please let us know by _______, and if not, thank you for your past service to us, best wishes, and goodbye.
I’m going to ask my husband when he gets home what he thinks about that.
—
Cheryl, Mike called me back about an hour after I’d talked to him, and said that, after speaking with Karen, she’d said that she’s not up to a visit tonight anyway.
He asked if tomorrow would be alright, and I said it would. But he told me he didn’t know yet what time I could come by, as they are doing family pictures tomorrow morning and he wasn’t sure how long it would take. He also said that the hospice nurse said Karen would be tired after all that, which might mean, he said, she’d be too tired for a visit.
I told him I totally understood, and wanted to be sensitive to her needs. He’s going to call if she’s feeling like a visit tomorrow, but I can’t at all imagine that she will.
I told him to give her my love, and we’ll talk again sometime. All of this in a perfectly steady, upbeat voice. No tears threatening; no worry that I’d break down on the phone. That wasn’t anywhere near my mind.
Then two minutes or so after I’d hung up, it hit. Wild, fast-flowing tears; sobs for the first time; shudders and shakes. I had to close myself in my bedroom and cry into some article of clothing hanging in my closet.
I had no idea that reaction was coming.
Why am I so upset? She’s not dead yet! And when she does go, it’s home to Jesus!
We Christians don’t grieve like those who have no hope, but sometimes I wonder if I do. My reaction was so over the top. I don’t remember doing this when any of my other friends were dying of cancer.
DJ, sorry about that painful knee. Sounds like you’ve been dealing with that for a while now. I hope the PT will help. Prayers that it does.
Oh, Cheryl, I’m sorry about the sibling situation. I’m glad you got confirmation that you’d made the right call on the reunion, though. A difficult decision to make, and heart-wrenching with the strained relationships where they exist.
6Arrows we were created by an oh so loving Heavenly Father. He created emotions and He understands. When I rushed to my Dad’s bedside in ICU after being told he would not likely be alive when I arrived, I was so overwhelmed. He was sitting up in his bed eating bacon when I rushed into the room! However, the cardiologist called the family into a conference room telling us he would be removing the external pacemaker…and my Dad would not survive longer than a minute afterwards. There was a grief I had not experienced before. I sobbed so uncontrollably at his bedside. I was processing this reality. After the meeting with the doctor I once again sobbed on the shoulder of the chaplain. As I stood at the foot of Dad’s bed the doc removed the pacemaker I knew our Lord was in that room. There was a sense of calm and knowing that HE was in control. We grieve with the hope of Glory…but we do grieve. Give yourself grace dear one… ❤️
Thanks for the reassurance, Kathaleena and NancyJill. There have been a couple key figures in my life who don’t tolerate others’ crying very well; it’s confused me about how much is too much.
NancyJill, reading about your dad brought tears. I’m so sorry, and yet glad for the calm and peace of God you experienced, knowing He was there with you in your dad’s final moments of life on earth.
Kim, I certainly agree, it does hit hard when they are close to one’s age. In 2011, a friend in her 70s and my aunt and my uncle died in April, May, and June, respectively. Those deaths, while I mourned them with some sadness, didn’t affect me like the deaths of my friends in their 40s that year — in July, September, and December. (But the timing of my younger friends’ deaths was likely a factor in my harder grieving for them, too, coming after an increasingly lengthening string of deaths in a short time frame.)
Seeing my 95(?)-year-old Bible study friend a couple of weeks before her passing last December and sensing that she was near the end and that that would probably be the last time I’d see her (it was) didn’t affect me nearly as much as Karen’s imminent passing.
The shock of how fast it’s going is probably affecting my emotions, too. Usually there’s more time — years, often — between diagnosis and death, if it even comes to that, and it doesn’t always. But, like my aunt whom I mentioned above, who was diagnosed with acute leukemia in April and died in May the same year, there is sometimes precious little time to process and prepare for the possibility that the disease will take the loved one.
6 Arrows, there is a Christian myth that to cry about a Christian’s (pending) death is somehow unspiritual. After my sister lost her husband to a sudden and untimely death (embollism at 46, taken to the hospital from work and my sister didn’t get to say goodbye), my husband said a few words to the family at the viewing. (At my sister’s request.) He reminded the family that Jesus wept at Lazarus’s grave–even though He was about to raise him! But the word for “wept” there isn’t a few quiet tears, it is wailing in grief and I think I have heard anger. Death is an enemy, and a hideous one.
C. S. Lewis pointed out (I forget where or the exact words he used) that we are horrified at both spirits (ghosts) and corpses, because body and soul were created to stay together. The division, the rending, is the result of sin and not the way it’s supposed to be. We understand that the Christian goes to be with Christ, but there is still an awful parting here, and loneliness, and sometimes unfinished business.
That’s the PT’s assessment. Treatable and fixable, he says, no recommendation for surgery. He said he was surprised he wasn’t causing me more pain in all his pulling and twisting and maneuvering. But now that I’m back home my knee is hurting, of course. lol But I think he warned me that it might after the nearly 90 minutes there today.
I have some exercises to do at home, need to get back to icing it and will go back again next week, he felt like 2 appointments a week for 6 weeks should suffice.
He said I should try to walk as normally as possible, I’ve been favoring the knee by keeping that leg straight but he said that creates a weird gait that can cause more issues with hips, back, etc., and we don’t want a secondary issue cropping up, so I need to get back to a more normal gait asap as much as I can. Seems doable.
I can start walking the dogs again, he said, just be sure I can stop and rest if needed, keep it short, and if I’m hurting the next day, take a break for a day.
He actually thinks I may have started “turning the corner” toward healing already since it’s been 4 weeks after the incident and I told him this week hasn’t been as that bad, pain-wise, for the most part. But still not pleasant. He said we need to make sure to keep it from going backward and becoming more inflamed by doing “too” much.
Cheryl, I’m so sorry about the family reunion/sister situation, it makes no sense, of course, there’s some issue she’s dealing with that’s perpetuating all this for so long. But that doesn’t make it any less emotionally painful.
6 arrows, hugs. I lost someone close to my age as well last year it is very much a different feeling and a different kind of pain and emotion, especially when it’s a fast illness.
Thanks for your prayers. The walk was good. Then later I went to town to get a birthday gift for my oldest daughter. I dropped it off at her work and had a nice visit with both girls. Then it was across the street for a long overdue haircut. Next I went to the local craft store and got elastic to fix the two face masks that you have to tie. Finally I was on the way home so just stopped by the home of youngest daughter. I started playing with the kids and ended up staying for dinner and dessert, the first ice cream I have had in three months and there was even an ear of fresh corn for dinner. It felt like my birthday, the food was so good..
I told my daughter about the gals coming to do yard work and that I felt awkward about the whole situation. She immediately understood and told me to just come to her house. Just to have someone understand how I felt was such a relief.
Oh, Dj, I am so glad to hear that you are improving and that you found someone to help you to deal with the injury. Sounds like you went to the right person.
Thanks Jo. It helps since I was really at a loss before about what to do or not to do, beyond a few things that were obvious. Just good to know what it is and that there’s a plan to follow.
Enjoy your walks, I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed walking the dogs these last few weeks. 😦
Thankful you got a diagnosis Dj! Onward and upward as they say 😊
Jo I am so thankful to hear of your delightful day!! How gracious is our Lord to bring comfort and joy! Rest well this evening.
It rained here!! We are predicted to have a long dry spell which was not good news. A surprise storm this evening encouraged us to sit on the front porch rocking chairs and breathe in the blessing!! ❤️
DJ, I think you have a Baker’s/popliteal cyst which is causing all of your pain.
6Arrows, I feel your pain with the taxes. I had mine to the bookkeeper April 1 and did not get them back till almost May 1. Worrying about the IRS causes lots of stress.
I am currently listening to a psych sing “our God is an awesome God”.. A much needed break from the earlier atmosphere.
Cheryl, 10:18pm, thank you. I hadn’t heard that Christian myth spelled out in words; there are some, though, who give the impression that that is so, now that I think about it.
I have heard some Christians who have bought the lie that all depression is sin, and if one is depressed, it’s because of a sinful attitude.
Like one needs to repent of depression. Ugh.
DJ, 10:43, thanks. And you’re right: when the decline is fast, you feel like you can’t catch your breath. WAIT! .., but there’s little to no wait. The end is there right after it seemingly began.
RKessler, with the taxes: yes, it is rather scary to contemplate trouble with the IRS. My dad got audited years ago after an innocent mistake. I think it had something to do with gift-giving. They were relentless, sitting at our kitchen table night after night for I don’t remember how long — a week or two? — grilling him and I don’t remember what else. It seemed to take forever, because the mistake apparently snowballed, and he needed more documentation and…
I only remember how stressed he was, and how I worried he might die of a heart attack after all that. Obviously, that didn’t happen, but it taught me to be wary of the IRS. You don’t want to be on the hook with them.
Kevin, 10:38am, I meant to thank you for your prayers for Karen’s family and for me. I appreciate it more than words could ever express.
Thank you to all of you who are praying. We are grateful and uplifted.
Wandering Views 
gOOD MORNING! I hope it is a productive day for you all. 2 more nights of work for me this week.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Good morning AJ, et. al.
I’m sorry about 6 Arrows’ friend.
I am attending a funeral today. A friend died suddenly last Sunday.
Fellow Lion, SS class member. I am constrained in my activities here, so I don’t have friends, as such, like in Hendersonville. But Richard was a lot of help to me.
Seeming different, but extremely relevant, I noticed the stories on TV about little people destroying the statues of big people.
The stock in trade of little people is to make big people look bad. But Robert E Lee doesn’t care what someone does to his statue and he wouldn’t mind if they moved every grave from his home site
I have considered this extensively in the past few years, and concluded:
It isn’t want a man does in his short life here, but what he leaves behind.
I have always wanted to leave a trail. Everywhere I went. That it made a difference that I was there.
LikeLiked by 7 people
I was sitting at my desk drinking coffee.
And thought about this.
I see this site come up every day and thought of AJ setting it up.
I can imagine while he was sick: He doesn’t want to mess around with us. He wants to go back to bed.
But we are always here.
That is a ministry AJ. It really is.
LikeLiked by 9 people
I’ll second that, Chas.
Here are the political cartoons for this week.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks guys. 🙂
LikeLiked by 5 people
And thank you Peter. You do the toons and the Pigskin Picks for us faithfully, and I very much appreciate the help. 🙂
LikeLiked by 6 people
“I have always wanted to leave a trail. Everywhere I went. That it made a difference that I was there.”
I can’t speak for everywhere that you’ve been, but at your house, and here on this blog, you have accomplished your mission Sir. Well done. 🙂
LikeLiked by 7 people
I second the thanks to AJ for keeping us together.
LikeLiked by 5 people
Hooray for AJ! Through thick and thin, rain and snow, and worst of all . . . Covid, he has been a diligent and faithful servant to keep this going. Thank you, AJ.
LikeLiked by 5 people
Good morning.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And a word of thanks to Peter: for the funnies.
The don’t show up in my e-mail until late afternoon. Don’t know why.
LikeLiked by 3 people
The funnies don’t actually come out all at once on Friday. They’re added here and there throughout the week, and we can look at them any time. But Peter’s link every Friday means “Funnies Time” for me.
Ditto on all the appreciation to AJ, to Peter, and to Chas for the different ways they serve us. And the rest of you, each contributing care, prayers, wisdom, and perspective.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Chas’s statement made my mind immediately go to the song, “Three Wooden Crosses.”
LikeLiked by 3 people
6 Arrows, I’m praying for you and for Karen’s family. My mother’s timeline was so similar to hers. She died of cancer at 55 after 32 years of marriage to my dad, when I was 31 and my sibs in their 20s. That is so young.
LikeLiked by 4 people
I wish my husband had written that song. 🙂 It is so well written and so true in its message.
LikeLiked by 3 people
After “Three Wooden Crosses”, you have a chance to hear Randy Travis sing “Just a Closer Walk”.; I don’t care for his voice, but it is a good rendition.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Morning! Aj when your tests came back positive my thought was that even then you were holding us together. All I could muster was “wow”. Thanks for your ministry to us brother…
It is a beautiful day and I need to wrap up some of these home maintenance projects. At least the temps will top out in the 80’s and all the projects are outdoors. The birds will be flitting about, I will hear the babies in the bird houses and nests calling out to Mom and Dad to be fed. The deer are roaming around the back of the property and who knows, one of the bluebirds might mistake me for Cinderella and start singing to me from a branch overhead! 😂
LikeLiked by 4 people
Going out hiking with some others this morning. Hoping that will help as I am really feeling depressed. Just going down….
LikeLiked by 4 people
Well, my nephew’s test came back negative. Figured it would, as he was already bouncing back with the antibiotics he was given. We suspect he poisoned himself with drinking dirty water outside. He drives his poor mother nearly to distraction with what he gets up to. He is the size of a four year old with the mindset of the two year old he is.
LikeLiked by 5 people
Jo, it’s a really hard season to be living alone. May your time outdoors with others be a blessing to you and to them.
LikeLiked by 6 people
6 Arrows, I’m always surprised when I find out someone in their sixties still has both parents–my own life experience has been so different. When I married my husband, he was 50 and still had both parents and both of his (former) in-laws . . . so the girls had lost their mother (at 12 and 14) but still had all four grandparents. (Three are gone now). I lost my dad when I was almost 17 and had my mom till I was 36. I think it’s a lot easier on the children if they are at least into their 20s (my dad’s death wasn’t nearly as hard on my brothers, all living on their own, as on those of us still living at home, and in effect we lost our mom along with losing our dad, since she sank into grief).
The reality is, it always feels too soon. If the children are grown, then it’s the grandchildren. My oldest niece struggled with losing her mom because my grandniece wouldn’t remember the grandmother who had loved her so much–but my own grandparents all died before I was born, so I didn’t have any to lose. But you always want the parent / friend to live to see this daughter married, to see grandchildren, to see the grandchildren graduate high school, to see great-grands . . . death is an enemy, and it always feels too early.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I had not heard that Three Wooden Crosses song. It is well written. What a blessing to hear it.
We are having more activity on our church prayer hotline lately. How nice it is to be on a dedicated team like this. We have our Friday team prayer over the phone a little later. I was asked yesterday to be the leader of that time since the other leader has some time conflicts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow, what a thread today. I was thinking last night as I was writing here about Karen that she is leaving behind a legacy of faithfulness to the Lord, evident to her family and friends.
Then I come here today and read Chas’s “I have always wanted to leave a trail. Everywhere I went. That it made a difference that I was there.” And that’s exactly it, Chas. You, too, are leaving a legacy, and we and all who know and love you are the beneficiaries.
And that song, Kathaleena! I had never heard it, but how beautiful it is, and so fitting for today’s discussion. Well, fitting for any and all time, but very timely today. Thanks for sharing it.
Kevin, oh my, the similarities between your mom and Karen! And her oldest, a son, is also 31.
How long did your mom battle cancer? What were your thoughts/emotions during that time, if you don’t mind my asking?
Cheryl, yes, I can think of very few people I know around my age who still have both parents. A couple local friends come to mind. They have all their siblings, too, as do I. But most people my age have lost at least one of their parents, and quite a few both. It’s an unusual and great blessing, still having both of mine.
I do think it would be much harder to lose a parent in childhood, but I think, too, that how we respond to loss and grief is a very individual thing.
The children of one of my friends who died in 2011, who were ages 7-15 or so when their mom passed, seem to have done very well. Their dad is very grounded in his faith in Christ, as was their mom when she was living. I think that would be a comfort, having a parent rooted in the Word — children observing their living parent’s peace that comes through Christ.
Karen’s husband is a man of faith, as well. I am thankful for that.
LikeLiked by 5 people
6 Arrows, I checked with Art late last night and he said I gave you the right info. Since I don’t go to the annual update schools I am never sure if something that was law before may have changed so I am reluctant to give advice. I am glad you found it helpful.
LikeLike
I did not read the previous post before I posted about the taxes.
It’s so neat when things are so well aligned like the posts today to meet emotional needs at this time for you, Six Arrows.
I can’t help but notice the contrast of how our friends named Karen are dealing with their struggles. I am saddened, too, by my friend Karen and have wondered if she is pushing me away because she may be near death, too.
LikeLike
Janice, thanks for following up (1:20). I appreciate it much.
Does the IRS change things every year? 🙂 It seemed so to me! I did our own taxes the years I wasn’t self-employed with teaching piano (2004-2014), and most if not all of those years the tax booklet I’d pick up at the library would say “New this year:…”.
Doing our taxes then was uncomplicated, and would still be now (maybe), except for having self-employment tax and related things to figure, which I don’t trust myself to do correctly.
LikeLike
6 It is always hard to lose a friend close to your age. As you know you all prayed for my friend Leslie. She was 11 months younger. Back in 2012 I lost another “girl” I grew up with. She was 5 months younger. Love her through this. Do what you need to do now so that when it is over you will have no regrets.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Ok. I have to tell someone this. I just won $500!!!! I took a wealth building class. They were giving away $5,000 to one person and $1,000 to five people, earlier when they did the recap of the class. There were questions to answer and I submitted mine yesterday. They ended up giving away close to $18,000 and to the top five people that participated the most on the FB page they gave $500. I was one of them. I am so giddy. I always say, if I am every selling raffle tickets you want to buy one from me, because I always sell the winning one. I can’t remember winning anything. I’m sure at some point I must have, but I don’t remember it.
LikeLiked by 8 people
congratulations Kim
.
A hint. Don’t tell anyone else. Somebody will want it, or at least a big chuck of it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A hint for 5 arrows. Don’t worry about it. Do what you think is best. They will let you know if you do something wrong. I don’t mean jail either. It’s either a check or a bill.
When I sold my house in Hendersonville, and bought one is Greensboro, I came out with a profit. I had so much going on that I completely forgot to include that in my tax that year.
They sent me a friendly letter and a bill.
They wanted my money, not me.
LikeLiked by 3 people
My experience with accountants is that he wants his books to balance. Your money is trivial in his thinking. He wants his books to balance.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hi Kim.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I feel much better now. I called the number of the tax service person my husband mentioned, and he said there wouldn’t be any trouble if both he and the tax preparer who got our original copies of the W-2, etc. tried to file on our behalf. Which ever one would file second would simply get a bounce-back, a notice that those taxes had already been filed.
I was concerned there would be trouble for us if it looked like we were trying to get a refund twice, but he assured me that wouldn’t be the case.
My husband now has a duplicate copy in hand of his W-2, and I called and requested duplicates of our investment statement and pertinent bank documents. They could print them immediately, and I drove into town just now and got them!
Easy peasy. We’ll take the duplicates to the new preparer, and he laid out exactly what we could expect, and there won’t be any need to file for an extension.
We should have done this before instead of stew about what was taking so long with the original preparer. Live and learn.
—
I talked with Karen’s husband on the phone a bit ago. She is up to receiving visitors, and I’ll be going over to the house at 7:00 tonight. I told Mike that if I stay too long and Karen’s getting tired, “Don’t be afraid to give me the boot.” 🙂 He laughed.
He’s doing fine, he said, and he sounds like it.
An encouraging afternoon after a rather tumultuous week. Thank you, Lord!
LikeLiked by 4 people
Six Arrows, may that be a precious time with your friend. I treasure so many memories from my last months of visiting my sister-in-law. If living in Nashville did nothing else but allow me to live near her (and her family) the last six years of her life, it was enough.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, I am so glad the new preparer is ready for you, Six Arrows. And that is right that it will kick out if another has been filed. We don’t like to see the rejects because it often means one of two things. It could be identity theft or trouble with an ex-spouse claiming a dependent child that they have no right to claim (In that case a duplicate child’s SSN has shown up on two returns).
Yes, there are changes to the tax code and regs each year. It generates dollars for trainers and large hotels doing conferences for preparers to go through all the changes.
LikeLike
Six Arrows, did the new preparer say he would not charge you if it had already been filed by the other preparer?
LikeLike
I’m exhausted. Another frantic day at work — our immediate editor is off today so the senior editor, who is beyond a workaholic and expects everyone else to be as well, emails me first thing asking if I can cover a big homeless event at noon on the steps of downtown LA City Hall.
I can barely walk, but I suppose he’s forgotten that or figures I’m better now. I told him no, I’d never make it but if they’re live-streaming it or putting it on FB Live I can handle it. They apparently weren’t when I checked (though later the organizer texted me at 1 minute before noon that it would be on FB Live after all). So another reporter was sent down while I was given the task of covering the daily Covid-19 number rollout for LA County and could do a port story before that.
Meanwhile, the county agency that provided all those homeless count numbers (some of them wrong) to us? They emailed us at 1 a.m. saying, oops, some other numbers were wrong.
So that needed correcting.
I’m about to get ready to head off to the physical therapist (I also had to scramble to fill out all the paperwork needed for that).
Ever felt so tired and burned out that you just wanted to hide under the covers for a week?
LikeLiked by 6 people
Well, my family had the reunion this week. I talked to most of them by Zoom a few days ago. Interestingly, a big reason I wanted to be there was that I wanted to see my sister face to face and have her remember I’m not the ogre she has made me out to be in her mind. But I realized that if 52 years of loving her haven’t let her sense my love, another week wouldn’t either. Back to childhood, I wanted to be her “friend” and assumed she wanted that too, but when I think back, I don’t remember her making overtures of friendship to me. I don’t think she ever wanted that; I don’t know that she has ever felt anything for me but contempt. And that’s not really my problem, nor something I can solve. Her accusations against me are all motives, not actions, as though she can read my heart. (She accuses me of being unempathetic toward her, trying to manipulate her, and wanting a “fake” relationship and not a real one.) She has no actual complaints of any actions I’ve done, or for that matter any omissions. (I’ve traveled to be with her and support her in all the major events of her life. Two weeks when her husband died, but also several trips to help prepare for her wedding and going for the birth of each of her children and their house fire.)
I also wanted to see her children, since it has been four years since I’ve seen any of them, and they are now 12 to 21, so those are four significant years. I haven’t even seen photos of any but the oldest two, and those just from Facebook and her commerce site. If we ever do another family reunion (it is six years since the previous one), several of her children may be married or too busy with life to travel, and I was afraid that if I didn’t see them this time, I might not be able to keep any connection going. I have called each on his or her birthday each year, but honestly the purpose for that was to lay a foundation so that by the time they were at the current ages, we could have actual relationships. I imagined calling the house and chatting with whoever answered, or having one or two come at a time to spend a week or two with me. Now that they are old enough for good interaction, I have been all but cut off from them for two years.
Anyway, I didn’t know until the Zoom meeting with my youngest brother (who took his device around so we could say hi to everyone else) that my sister wasn’t even at the reunion, and only her oldest son was there. I hadn’t known she wouldn’t be there; word was that everyone had said yes. I don’t know what reason she gave, though I know she had said she never again wants to see our youngest brother (they are less than two years apart and were very, very close when we were children). I had wondered how she would go to the same family reunion as him, but thought that she must have decided not to avoid all family in order to avoid him. But apparently she and the children at home are self-excluding from family so as not to interact with him. Since she is making the same accusations against me that she made against him (though she also accused him of “abuse” and she never accused me of that; apparently he said something in a text that she didn’t like), if she thought I was going to be there, she may well have seen my presence as negative, too. Anyway, it ended up being a reunion of just my five brothers, not the sisters, and I’m glad I didn’t risk my health and my husband’s for a reunion that wasn’t even going to allow me to see her and her children. (I dearly want to see my brothers, too, but the yearning was for the one who has estranged herself from me, and the children I saw several times a year through most of their childhood.)
It was a hard decision to make not to go, but the right decision. And finding out she and her children weren’t even there confirmed it to be the right call.
LikeLiked by 5 people
Heartbreaking, Cheryl. So very sorry.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You definitely made the right choice on that, Cheryl.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I had a Zoom meeting at 3AM (international group), walked with a friend at 8, work Zoom at 10:30, work lunch for two birthdays at 12:30, then filed for an hour; another Zoom class at 4:30.
Still haven’t begun the fifth VBS play and after a wine and lunch paring at a Vineyard–best meal since Christmas–I’m done for the day.
Mr. Grocery Shopper (!!!!!!!), picked up a few items and is finishing up his work week. The last two kids show up tomorrow and we vacation for five days on Sunday.
This has been hectic and crazy–and vacation with all 15 of us doesn’t sound any different–but being all together will be wonderful.
Meanwhile. I’m really tired.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Janice, he didn’t say anything about charges / no charge, and I didn’t ask. At this point, I’m prepared to pay both preparers if we end up getting billed by both. Having the whole thing over and done with is our primary objective now.
I was thinking this evening that I might give our original preparer one last chance to get it done. Other than those years I mentioned above when I did our taxes, she has been my husband’s or our tax preparer since before we even got married 34 years ago. This is her last year of doing taxes, she announced in January, and it feels sad to me to end on such a negative note. But when she closes off every avenue of communication except for email, and she doesn’t answer emails sent over a month ago and recently, after she’d presumably already had our papers for 5 1/2 weeks and 10 weeks, respectively, we have no choice but to seek alternatives.
Anyway, I thought about writing her that we’ve gotten a duplicate W-2 and other necessary documents and will be taking them to another preparer on Monday unless she calls us — so there’s no chance of email delivery failure — by noon on Monday, telling us that she has finished and filed our taxes.
Something simple, direct, and matter-of-fact. Please let us know by _______, and if not, thank you for your past service to us, best wishes, and goodbye.
I’m going to ask my husband when he gets home what he thinks about that.
—
Cheryl, Mike called me back about an hour after I’d talked to him, and said that, after speaking with Karen, she’d said that she’s not up to a visit tonight anyway.
He asked if tomorrow would be alright, and I said it would. But he told me he didn’t know yet what time I could come by, as they are doing family pictures tomorrow morning and he wasn’t sure how long it would take. He also said that the hospice nurse said Karen would be tired after all that, which might mean, he said, she’d be too tired for a visit.
I told him I totally understood, and wanted to be sensitive to her needs. He’s going to call if she’s feeling like a visit tomorrow, but I can’t at all imagine that she will.
I told him to give her my love, and we’ll talk again sometime. All of this in a perfectly steady, upbeat voice. No tears threatening; no worry that I’d break down on the phone. That wasn’t anywhere near my mind.
Then two minutes or so after I’d hung up, it hit. Wild, fast-flowing tears; sobs for the first time; shudders and shakes. I had to close myself in my bedroom and cry into some article of clothing hanging in my closet.
I had no idea that reaction was coming.
Why am I so upset? She’s not dead yet! And when she does go, it’s home to Jesus!
We Christians don’t grieve like those who have no hope, but sometimes I wonder if I do. My reaction was so over the top. I don’t remember doing this when any of my other friends were dying of cancer.
Back to being a wreck… 😦
LikeLiked by 3 people
DJ, sorry about that painful knee. Sounds like you’ve been dealing with that for a while now. I hope the PT will help. Prayers that it does.
Oh, Cheryl, I’m sorry about the sibling situation. I’m glad you got confirmation that you’d made the right call on the reunion, though. A difficult decision to make, and heart-wrenching with the strained relationships where they exist.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It doesn’t sound over the top to me, 6.
LikeLiked by 3 people
6Arrows we were created by an oh so loving Heavenly Father. He created emotions and He understands. When I rushed to my Dad’s bedside in ICU after being told he would not likely be alive when I arrived, I was so overwhelmed. He was sitting up in his bed eating bacon when I rushed into the room! However, the cardiologist called the family into a conference room telling us he would be removing the external pacemaker…and my Dad would not survive longer than a minute afterwards. There was a grief I had not experienced before. I sobbed so uncontrollably at his bedside. I was processing this reality. After the meeting with the doctor I once again sobbed on the shoulder of the chaplain. As I stood at the foot of Dad’s bed the doc removed the pacemaker I knew our Lord was in that room. There was a sense of calm and knowing that HE was in control. We grieve with the hope of Glory…but we do grieve. Give yourself grace dear one… ❤️
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks for the reassurance, Kathaleena and NancyJill. There have been a couple key figures in my life who don’t tolerate others’ crying very well; it’s confused me about how much is too much.
NancyJill, reading about your dad brought tears. I’m so sorry, and yet glad for the calm and peace of God you experienced, knowing He was there with you in your dad’s final moments of life on earth.
Kim, I certainly agree, it does hit hard when they are close to one’s age. In 2011, a friend in her 70s and my aunt and my uncle died in April, May, and June, respectively. Those deaths, while I mourned them with some sadness, didn’t affect me like the deaths of my friends in their 40s that year — in July, September, and December. (But the timing of my younger friends’ deaths was likely a factor in my harder grieving for them, too, coming after an increasingly lengthening string of deaths in a short time frame.)
Seeing my 95(?)-year-old Bible study friend a couple of weeks before her passing last December and sensing that she was near the end and that that would probably be the last time I’d see her (it was) didn’t affect me nearly as much as Karen’s imminent passing.
The shock of how fast it’s going is probably affecting my emotions, too. Usually there’s more time — years, often — between diagnosis and death, if it even comes to that, and it doesn’t always. But, like my aunt whom I mentioned above, who was diagnosed with acute leukemia in April and died in May the same year, there is sometimes precious little time to process and prepare for the possibility that the disease will take the loved one.
Thanks, all, for letting me try to process here.
LikeLiked by 5 people
6 Arrows, there is a Christian myth that to cry about a Christian’s (pending) death is somehow unspiritual. After my sister lost her husband to a sudden and untimely death (embollism at 46, taken to the hospital from work and my sister didn’t get to say goodbye), my husband said a few words to the family at the viewing. (At my sister’s request.) He reminded the family that Jesus wept at Lazarus’s grave–even though He was about to raise him! But the word for “wept” there isn’t a few quiet tears, it is wailing in grief and I think I have heard anger. Death is an enemy, and a hideous one.
C. S. Lewis pointed out (I forget where or the exact words he used) that we are horrified at both spirits (ghosts) and corpses, because body and soul were created to stay together. The division, the rending, is the result of sin and not the way it’s supposed to be. We understand that the Christian goes to be with Christ, but there is still an awful parting here, and loneliness, and sometimes unfinished business.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Meniscus
I think that was Dr. Michelle’s call?
That’s the PT’s assessment. Treatable and fixable, he says, no recommendation for surgery. He said he was surprised he wasn’t causing me more pain in all his pulling and twisting and maneuvering. But now that I’m back home my knee is hurting, of course. lol But I think he warned me that it might after the nearly 90 minutes there today.
I have some exercises to do at home, need to get back to icing it and will go back again next week, he felt like 2 appointments a week for 6 weeks should suffice.
He said I should try to walk as normally as possible, I’ve been favoring the knee by keeping that leg straight but he said that creates a weird gait that can cause more issues with hips, back, etc., and we don’t want a secondary issue cropping up, so I need to get back to a more normal gait asap as much as I can. Seems doable.
I can start walking the dogs again, he said, just be sure I can stop and rest if needed, keep it short, and if I’m hurting the next day, take a break for a day.
He actually thinks I may have started “turning the corner” toward healing already since it’s been 4 weeks after the incident and I told him this week hasn’t been as that bad, pain-wise, for the most part. But still not pleasant. He said we need to make sure to keep it from going backward and becoming more inflamed by doing “too” much.
Cheryl, I’m so sorry about the family reunion/sister situation, it makes no sense, of course, there’s some issue she’s dealing with that’s perpetuating all this for so long. But that doesn’t make it any less emotionally painful.
6 arrows, hugs. I lost someone close to my age as well last year it is very much a different feeling and a different kind of pain and emotion, especially when it’s a fast illness.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Thanks for your prayers. The walk was good. Then later I went to town to get a birthday gift for my oldest daughter. I dropped it off at her work and had a nice visit with both girls. Then it was across the street for a long overdue haircut. Next I went to the local craft store and got elastic to fix the two face masks that you have to tie. Finally I was on the way home so just stopped by the home of youngest daughter. I started playing with the kids and ended up staying for dinner and dessert, the first ice cream I have had in three months and there was even an ear of fresh corn for dinner. It felt like my birthday, the food was so good..
I told my daughter about the gals coming to do yard work and that I felt awkward about the whole situation. She immediately understood and told me to just come to her house. Just to have someone understand how I felt was such a relief.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Oh, Dj, I am so glad to hear that you are improving and that you found someone to help you to deal with the injury. Sounds like you went to the right person.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Jo. It helps since I was really at a loss before about what to do or not to do, beyond a few things that were obvious. Just good to know what it is and that there’s a plan to follow.
Enjoy your walks, I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed walking the dogs these last few weeks. 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thankful you got a diagnosis Dj! Onward and upward as they say 😊
Jo I am so thankful to hear of your delightful day!! How gracious is our Lord to bring comfort and joy! Rest well this evening.
It rained here!! We are predicted to have a long dry spell which was not good news. A surprise storm this evening encouraged us to sit on the front porch rocking chairs and breathe in the blessing!! ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
DJ, I think you have a Baker’s/popliteal cyst which is causing all of your pain.
6Arrows, I feel your pain with the taxes. I had mine to the bookkeeper April 1 and did not get them back till almost May 1. Worrying about the IRS causes lots of stress.
I am currently listening to a psych sing “our God is an awesome God”.. A much needed break from the earlier atmosphere.
LikeLiked by 2 people
oh, a nice song to end the evening with.
I just wrote my daughter a thank you email and told her what this evening meant to me.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Cheryl, 10:18pm, thank you. I hadn’t heard that Christian myth spelled out in words; there are some, though, who give the impression that that is so, now that I think about it.
I have heard some Christians who have bought the lie that all depression is sin, and if one is depressed, it’s because of a sinful attitude.
Like one needs to repent of depression. Ugh.
DJ, 10:43, thanks. And you’re right: when the decline is fast, you feel like you can’t catch your breath. WAIT! .., but there’s little to no wait. The end is there right after it seemingly began.
RKessler, with the taxes: yes, it is rather scary to contemplate trouble with the IRS. My dad got audited years ago after an innocent mistake. I think it had something to do with gift-giving. They were relentless, sitting at our kitchen table night after night for I don’t remember how long — a week or two? — grilling him and I don’t remember what else. It seemed to take forever, because the mistake apparently snowballed, and he needed more documentation and…
I only remember how stressed he was, and how I worried he might die of a heart attack after all that. Obviously, that didn’t happen, but it taught me to be wary of the IRS. You don’t want to be on the hook with them.
Kevin, 10:38am, I meant to thank you for your prayers for Karen’s family and for me. I appreciate it more than words could ever express.
Thank you to all of you who are praying. We are grateful and uplifted.
LikeLiked by 2 people