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Prayer Requests 3-14-19

It’s Thursday, so don’t forget to pray for Jo, her students, and the people of PNG.

Anyone else?

Psalm 41

1 Blessed are those who have regard for the weak;
    the Lord delivers them in times of trouble.
2 The Lord protects and preserves them—
    they are counted among the blessed in the land—
    he does not give them over to the desire of their foes.
3 The Lord sustains them on their sickbed
    and restores them from their bed of illness.

4 I said, “Have mercy on me, Lord;
    heal me, for I have sinned against you.”
5 My enemies say of me in malice,
    “When will he die and his name perish?”
6 When one of them comes to see me,
    he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander;
    then he goes out and spreads it around.

7 All my enemies whisper together against me;
    they imagine the worst for me, saying,
8 “A vile disease has afflicted him;
    he will never get up from the place where he lies.”
9 Even my close friend,
    someone I trusted,
   one who shared my bread,
    has turned against me.

10 But may you have mercy on me, Lord;
    raise me up, that I may repay them.
11 I know that you are pleased with me,
    for my enemy does not triumph over me.
12 Because of my integrity you uphold me
    and set me in your presence forever.

13 Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel,
    from everlasting to everlasting.
   Amen and Amen.

21 thoughts on “Prayer Requests 3-14-19”

  2. Praying for several of you.

    DJ, if Carol is a Christian God can use her unique circumstance of being home bound. That gives her more time to be in his word, encourage those around her and pray more for others. We all need to be reminded of those things.

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  3. Please pray for Nightingale to come to the place of being able to forgive (or work on forgiving) X. She still has a lot of bitterness towards him. Even the mention of his name, such as in me asking what plans he has to take The Boy, is a great irritation to her. That is understandable, considering the “hell” he has put her through over the years, not to mention for his physical attack on her. But she still needs to be free from that bitterness. (Of course, she mostly needs Jesus, who would help her to forgive.)

    Also, please pray for X’s salvation, deliverance, and healing. Since he has been on the right medication, he has not made a fuss (at least not with me), but there are still signs of him being narcissistic. (Nightingale believes he is a sociopath.)

    And of course, please pray for the little boy they made together. Sometimes The Boy exhibits attitudes or behavior like his dad’s, and it is quite concerning.

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  4. Kizzie, there is much teaching circulating regarding the supposed importance of not having bitterness that is not actually rooted in Scripture. The root or gall of bitterness mentioned in Acts 8:23 and Hebrews 12:15 is referring to a heart of sin, while bitterness refers to an attitude and habit of speaking with knawing envy and malice in Romans 3:14, Ephesians 4:31, Colossians 3:19, and James 3:14. In the Old Testament, the word bitterness refers to grief and suffering without comfort. We are told to forgive, but nowhere is a lack of forgiveness equated to bitterness.

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  5. In other words, bitterness is only curable by a heart transplant. Struggling to forgive someone who bitterly wronged you is not necessarily due to bitterness. As you note, X physically attacked the woman whom he had persuaded to become one flesh with him and who bore his child as a result. Some of her anger may simply be a natural result of the pain and fear he has inflicted upon her. I know you say Nightingale is strong. The same thing has been said of me. But I was just reminded of how weak and vulnerable I am last night. Being determined is not the same as being strong.

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  6. Roscuro – That is certainly true, that determined is not the same as strong, and I believe that Nightingale considers herself determined, but with the usual fears and anxiety that goes along with dealing with various difficulties in life, although she does a good job of covering up her anxiety. (She recently admitted to me that certain plans that she had made “terrified” her, but you would never know that by hearing her talk about those plans.)

    And yet. . . there is a strength in following through with one’s determination in the midst of anxiety, fear, and stress. Lapses in strength do not indicate a lack of strength.

    I am pondering what you wrote about bitterness. It could be that the word has different meanings and connotations, as you pointed out the different ways it is used in the NT and the OT. The kind of bitterness I think of is the kind that is angry and resentful, not willing to forgive, usually due to painful experience.

    As I said, it is understandable that she would feel that way, especially since it has been a pattern of behavior with him. Yes, forgiving that kind of thing requires a heart transplant, as you said, and that is my prayer for her.

    (I often pray that X will be saved, and so radically transformed that some day we will shake our heads in amazement at the thought that he could ever have done the things he’s done.)

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Kizzie, that kind of bitterness needs to be resolved for her own health and welbeing as well as son’s. Your best action, besides prayer, is to turn the subject when she brings up this stuff, and not let her vent. Remind her (in God’s time, not yours) of some of the guy’s good traits, for which she married him. I actually know of which I speak because I am raising the last few of eleven different people who had huge reason for bitterness against their bio parents. Initially, we reminded them that bitterness and anger only hurt them. Gradually telling them what positive traits we saw in them that came from their bio parents and early training by them. And there were many. Drugs change people dramatically.

    In your case, you will see behaviors in grandson that remind you of him. Look for the positive ones and don’t be so scared of the negative ones. And pray. And remind us to pray. Maybe God will use this bitterness to draw her to Him. That is how He got my stepmom. Bitterness over evil and ugly things in her life finally turned her to Him.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I would ask prayers for a coworker. She was recently the victim of assault. Though it was 2 weeks ago, she still has a huge black eye and bruising on her temple. She had an MRI and found out last night that she needs back surgery to fix some of the damage that was done. She has not missed a night of work, and is hoping to hold out till June when she had a time off request already approved. Praying that she will find peace, and find her strength in God.

    Liked by 4 people

  12. Mumsee – Nightingale does not want me to talk about him at all. After his hospitalizations and getting on better meds helped his behavior to calm down, I had remarked a couple times on how polite he was being to me, or some such things, and she got really mad at me for “defending” him (not that that was what I was trying to do). (Btw, she does not vent about him, at least not to me. She tries not to think of him at all because doing so causes her a lot of anxiety.)

    Nightingale has seen X swing back and forth from his very bad behavior (and it was indeed very bad, even scary) to being nice and apologetic, which would last for a while – even months, and then back to the bad behavior again – several times. She says (and there is truth to it) that his nice behavior is part of his manipulation, so she doesn’t trust him to truly change. So it is hard to think of what could be good in him, that she would recognize as actually good, not being inauthentic. (Not saying there is no good in him, just that it is buried and obscured by the fake good behavior.)

    A few days ago, her friend sent her a screen shot of one of X’s Facebook posts. He had written that being a single dad is harder than being a single mom. I asked if he meant the part about not being with the child on a daily basis, the missing them and such, but apparently that was not his meaning. So he is still exhibiting some narcissistic tendencies, as he often painted himself as the one who works harder and is a better parent.

    (Sadly, The Boy tells me how much he loves his daddy, and misses him, and then says bad things about his mommy. 😦 )

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  13. I am not suggesting she ever like him again, just that holding anger and hatred and all, only hurts her. It does not hurt him at all.

    The boy probably does have a lot of his dad’s traits, they often run through the line. He may turn out just like him. Or he may not. God knows what He has planned for him. You can only do your best, don’t attempt to poison him toward his dad, correct the behaviors as they come up (like demanding a certain book when you want to read another). He is how old now?

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  15. Back again.

    I didn’t see the problem with reading a different book to him. I wanted him to be open to hearing the Narnia book, and since he wanted the other book, I thought that forcing the Narnia book on him would turn him off of it right from the beginning. We will get back to Narnia sometime soon.

    Forgot to mention earlier that Nightingale and X were not married, but were engaged for a while before she got pregnant with The Boy.

    Nightingale had even recently been talking about the need for forgiveness to set one free from bitterness and resentment. But she was talking in a general way, not about herself. I’ve been wondering how to get back around to that in a casual way, and if I should gently point out to her that she needs to forgive X for her own sake.

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  16. Just saying he ought not get his way all the time or he will think that men always get their way. In fact, he probably should not get his way a lot of the time. He is not your buddy. Does he have chores to do? That generally helps to develop a sense of empathy, which narcissists rarely have. Does he walk the dogs? Does he feed and water them? Those are all part of teaching that others have value. The particular book is not the concern. You want to build him stronger in the areas that it appears might be heading the wrong direction.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I am not saying this stuff to get on you, Kizzie, but out of concern. You have not raised a boy before and they are different. A bored boy often gets into trouble. But he needs free time and constructive opportunity to help in important ways, not just busy work. Things that are a challenge to him and may appear dangerous to us.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Thank you, Mumsee.

    Nightingale is a good mom for a boy to have. She is firm and tough. He has chores, but we probably need to increase those. He can be spontaneously helpful, which is encouraging. I think being involved in Boy Scouts and various sports is good for him, too.

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  19. Don’t worry. He doesn’t get his own way all the time. That’s probably why he prefers being with his dad.

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  20. Lizzie. I don’t want to get too New ages and psyobabbley so here goes:
    Our cells have memory. There is probably a lot that happened between Nightingale and X that you may never go. Discussing him and thinking of him may cause a physical reaction and pain.
    We have all forgotten that when you first began to know me I was in a relationship I didn’t belong in. He was as close as I have ever been to being addicted to something. I knew I shouldn’t be there but couldn’t get away.
    Once I finally got away I had to keep repeating “I hate you” over and over until I could finally get to the place he no longer mattered. Lucky for me we did not have a child.
    When I beat myself up as a mother and over BG it is because I even had her around him.
    Except for owning the blame for what I has done to ruin my life he would be second in line for the pain and suffering he caused. I got away from him 11 years ago and even now I can think of him and feel anguish. I never have to see him again. Nightingale does and when she looks at her son she sees half of X.

    Be patient with her. She will get there eventually.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I know your daughter is very good at being firm and tough. The boy will like going to his dad’s and playing video games and eating junk. That is fine. He will respect you two for remaining firm for him.

    Liked by 2 people

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