50 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 6-18-18”

  1. Morning, Chas. I saw you hanging out on the rants and raves. Time to begin a new day.
    I went to school this afternoon. The secretary had gone to Israel with a group and most everyone was gone. I saw my aide, who was gone last week, but she said that she was sick. So I decided to copy all of the books that we use for the whole term. I even had to go over to the high school since we didn’t have any copy paper. But I got it done. Now Wendy will put them together.

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  2. Mockingbird! One of my favorites and the state bird of Tennessee.

    I love their singing, I love their feisty attitude in cashing cats, and I love the way this rather plain gray bird turns gorgeous when it flies and black and white wing and tail feathers fan out.

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  5. Regarding my copying feat: at one point I was using both copying machines, the one for teachers and the one up front in the office. As I said I even called and then drove over to the secondary campus to get more paper.
    Last year’s teacher did not use all of the books, so first I counted what was left so that we would use those books. It was interesting copying 16 of one book and three of another. It got complex, so I am glad that I did it instead of Wendy.

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  6. No mockingbirds around our parts. We have a whole lot of birds and wildlife, though. My husband is amazed that his old growing up area is now a world renown birding area. All those birders are a challenge to the locals when they block drive ways, roads and invade private property. Fortunately, those are not the majority. People forget this is where others LIVE,

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  7. I was too sick to be at clinical today as I had a fever last night. A fever signals active disease, which means one is probably still infectious. But I did go just to get my evaluation. My instructor passed me – clinical isn’t graded, you either pass or fail. So, my year is finally ended, two months later than usual. One more year to go, but first, a holiday.

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  10. I am alive and kicking. I scored on Father’s Day!!!!! Mr. P got a new, larger cooler (this was a gift to both of us since all of his are dirty and filled with yuck), a gift card to Bass Pro Shop, all THREE types of sunscreen (lips, face, and body), and the number to call for a Red Snapper fishing trip. I took him out to dinner Saturday night. Miss Maddie got him a My First Fishing T-shirt. It’s a size 6 month. I think that is what he liked best.

    Still trying to find “balance” in my life.

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  11. My phone rang at 6:30 this morning, startling me out of bed. It said it was X calling, but when I answered, there was no one there, and my phone indicated that there was no signal.

    Since I’m pretty new to smart phones, I have a couple questions about that. Could “no signal” mean the other person quickly hung up (as if he realized he called by mistake) or not? If it was a problem on my end, would the caller think I hung up on him, or would his phone also indicate something about the lack of signal?

    I have to say that getting a call, even one that didn’t go through, from X that early in the morning is concerning. (He didn’t call back, though, so maybe it was an accident, like a “butt dial” kind of thing.)

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  12. Kim – Did you happen to read the weekend comments? There is news about X’s new (good) behavior towards me, and I thought you would be interested. I think I wrote about the things that were happening with him on both the prayer thread and the daily thread.

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  13. “I love their feisty attitude in cashing cats…”

    I wonder how a bird “cashes” cats. Is that like cashing a check? Do they get seed in return?

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  14. Kizzie, do not worry about the phone call so much. X may very well be playing you, and calling and then hanging up may be one way to keep you concerned about him. The fact that despite his vague statements that he was going to do better, he was late picking up and dropping off Boy is a signal that he hasn’t really changed. You spent all weekend worrying about X’s mental health and possible suicidal state. You are not responsible if anything happens to X; don’t let him make you feel like you are.

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  15. Peter, actually they chase cats (the only bird I’ve seen seen doing so, though probably a hawk or even a crow would do so if necessary).

    My husband came home from a trip to Texas a few years ago, and he told me about being amused at seeing some bird chase a cat an entire block. He didn’t know what species of bird it was. I asked him, “Gray, long tail, wings flashing black and white in flight?” He said yes, that described it, and I said, “Mockingbird. That’s the only bird I know that would do that.” We didn’t have many mockingbirds in northern Indiana, but they were common visitors to the mulberry trees in my childhood backyard.

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  16. Mumsee, yes, back to the old homestead. I am staying in the city a few more days, as I’m to play the organ one more time. It will be interesting adjusting to my parents home now that there are more people there. Hitherto, I have been more like a visitor. Now, I will have to reintegrate back into an expanded household.

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  17. I have several stories lined up for this week — We still have a largely empty newsroom with the bulk of our forces still gathered at the one sister paper that lost so much of its staff. But one of our people who has been there will be coming back for just this week so I won’t be alone (as other reporter who stayed and was there with me last week is on vacation to partake of the World Cup experience). And I will likely work from home on a couple days when I have local assignments to cover.

    I hope the house painting goes smoothly, looks like Dog Park worker has recruited another guy from the dog park to help out — I don’t know him well but he’s always struck everyone as a tad odd.

    Well, I’ve cast my lot in with these guys now, too late to change, so we’ll see how it all goes. They’re supposed to start prepping everything this week. I always leave the back door unlocked for restroom access but I knew all the other guys (who have been in and out of here for more than a year now), not this new kind of goofy-acting helper.

    I’ll be so glad to be done with all this work (and the workers). I think I’ll find someone else to hire to do the inside painting, maybe the painting couple who are ‘cheap’ that Real Estate Guy knows. They’d work a lot faster, that I’m sure of.

    I think this exterior paint work will take a while with the dog park crew. But they are working at a low cost, too.

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  20. Rural Virginia is beautiful, also rural NC and SC. West Texas, not so much, but the stars at night are awesome.

    I have seen birds chase cats. Songbirds. They would follow and peck and when the cat turned, they escaped quickly. They would torment the cat and stay just out of reach until the cat left the vicinity.

    Kim, I’ve been looking for “balance” for almost 88 years now.
    Let me know what it is when you find it.

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  21. Kim – I looked up hoovering. He has definitely done that to Nightingale in the past, until she caught on. I also saw a related term called a flying monkey, in which the narcissist uses a third party to get to the abuse victim. Sometimes the flying monkey is complicit, but often is an unwitting accomplice, not realizing how they are being manipulated to get through to the intended victim. That may be what he is trying to do with me. (I didn’t know there was a name for that, but the idea of it had occurred to me. He’s done that in the past, too.)

    But if it is, it won’t work. My loyalty is to my daughter, and I have seen his manipulative behaviors too often to let myself be used that way.

    Although a leopard does not change his spots, God specializes in changing hearts and transforming lives. Since I don’t know which is at work here – God or manipulation – I will give X the benefit of the doubt for now. But I am not going to pass anything on to Nightingale. Any niceties will just be between him and me.

    If it turns out he is only trying to use me, that will become apparent sooner or later. And if that is the case, it will make me very sad. One of my most fervent prayers is for him to be saved, and to become the godly man and father that The Boy needs in his life.

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  22. Morning! This forest is clear of yellow pollen! We had a lovely steady rain during the night. Oh what a difference! I could actually open my eyes this morning with no difficulty..not swollen nor dry…oh happy day!
    Kizzie I would be cautious of X and I would go on the assumption that early morning call was manipulation. You can be caring…yet firm. He needs boundaries.
    This week is shaping up to be a busy one….one of the “off balance” weeks for me! 😊

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  27. Roscuro – I should probably clarify that part of my concern about the early morning call was that I hope he is not going to kind of attach himself to me, calling or texting at all times of day. In our current situation that would be awkward and inappropriate, to say the least. But I haven’t heard anything else from him today, so I suspect it was an accident.

    (Then again, as a Christian, I feel bad for feeling that way, and think that I should be available to minister to him in some way. And yet, as I said, the current situation makes that hard to do.)

    Trying to be innocent and shrewd at the same time.

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  28. Not that you want my advice or need it, but I would think it wise to tell your daughter what he has been saying so she is aware. Either sincere or not. Kind of an accountability/support type thing for both of you.

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  29. Kizzie, no, you should not be available to “minister” to him in some way. Please get that thought out of your head. If God chooses to draw X to himself, He can use whom He will to do it. But for multiple reasons, you are not the right person to be his minister. God can use a man, or a couple, or connect him to a church–all of those are more appropriate choices.

    In Nashville I had Kurdish neighbors. I tried a bit to befriend them, but being a single woman made it tricky because of the cultural relations between men and women. The son was growing into puberty and stole from several neighbors, most likely including me, and the wife worked long hours. When the wife and mother moved out, it became clear that I was wiser to keep a polite distance from the father and the oldest son. Had I been married, we could have had the family over for meals, but as a single woman I could not be the one ministering to that household without calling my own motives into question.

    But you as a single woman without defenders, a bit too quick to give him the benefit of the doubt, and him with his history of hurting your family members, and with access to you also meaning access to other vulnerable family members . . . no, you are absolutely not the right person to seek to minister to him.

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  31. Kizzie, I want to weigh in on this you said:

    “Since I don’t know which is at work here – God or manipulation – I will give X the benefit of the doubt for now.”

    IMHO, that’s a dangerous way to think. This, I will boldly say, is the safe way:

    “Since I don’t know which is at work here – God or manipulation – I will NOT give X the benefit of the doubt…”

    It is safer, for the sake of your family, to assume X’s heart is not changed. Do not forget the violence he has committed against your daughter, the terror he’s introduced into your grandson’s life.

    Pray from a distance, but I would strongly advise against allowing any physical contact between him and you.

    No more hugs; no more “I love you, too”s. You’re letting him initiate whatever he’s doing, and responding in kind. He’s making inroads according to his terms.

    Establish your own boundaries, whether he has any of his own or not. If he says, “I love you,” walk away as if you didn’t hear it. Until he has entered into relationship with Christ, he does not know what love is.

    If he says, “I need a hug,” do the same as above — walk away. You are under no obligation, as a Christian or in any other capacity, to give him anything he asks for, and I believe it’s dangerous to do so, with his history. And the more often you hug him, the more he’s going to expect you to keep doing it.

    Let go of false guilt that makes you feel like you’re not being “Christian” enough when you secretly question his motives or outright rebuff his efforts to attach to you.

    I read Proverbs 26 today, and these verses bring X to mind:

    23 Fervent lips with a wicked heart
    Are like earthenware covered with silver dross.

    24 He who hates, disguises it with his lips,
    And lays up deceit within himself;
    25 When he speaks kindly, do not believe him,
    For there are seven abominations in his heart;
    26 Though his hatred is covered by deceit,
    His wickedness will be revealed before the assembly.

    (Bold mine.)

    Yes, it’s possible God will turn his heart to Him, but don’t become a victim of wishful thinking before that day comes, if it does.

    Pray without becoming his prey.

    Written with fervency and love, Kizzie. Stay safe.

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  32. Mumsee and Cheryl – Thank you for your advice.

    Mumsee, I told Nightingale about the initial conversation. My thought to not tell her more was not from trying to hide anything from her, but to kind of protect her. She gets so upset and anxious about anything he does that is out of the ordinary. But you’re right; I should keep her in the loop.

    Cheryl, by minister to him, I didn’t necessarily mean one-on-one, but merely “ministering” the love of God to him in some way in any conversations that may occur. But I see what you mean about the dangers of letting myself befriend him more. Somehow I need to walk the line of being kind and Christ-like without getting drawn into anything dangerous or inappropriate.

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  33. Oh, hi 6 Arrows. You popped in while I was typing. Thank you for your advice, too.

    As I have read the various comments from you ladies, and read about “flying monkeys”, I have pulled back my thinking of giving him the benefit of the doubt. As you said, 6, I will pray without becoming prey. (Great play on words there!)

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  34. House stuff (for Kim and DJ): I was in the hall bathroom this morning and taking inventory of what it is taking to get just that one room in shape. First, that bathroom had both carpet and tile, so the floor guys had to remove both (plus a carpet pad and any floor trim). They had to lay tile and trim and then caulk around the tub.

    The floor guys took out the toilet (as we paid them to), and we then paid a plumber to put it back in when the other toilets didn’t come in on time. One of the volunteers found a problem with some of the water shut-offs, so we paid that same plumber to look at all the ones in the house and replace the ones that were needed, which included the sink and toilet in that bathroom. That toilet had a problem this weekend (a part broke near the handle); though it still worked, it sometimes needed an extra push to stop flushing, so the man who replaced the other toilet replaced a part on that one. (We happened to have an extra of that part; my husband isn’t sure where it came from.) The toilet itself will be replaced next weekend, which meant he and I took another trip to the store to buy a wax ring.

    We will probably replace the showerhead, but have not done so yet, but we installed a hair catcher in the drain, put a shower caddy in the corner, put up a new shower curtain rod and hooks and a liner, and went to several stores before we found a good shower curtain. (Because there is only one light in that bathroom, over the sink, the curtain had to match the bathroom colors and had to let in enough light.) To buy a new vanity took going to at least two stores, including my husband driving an hour and a half one way to buy a sink that had been discontinued between us deciding to get it and getting it. We actually couldn’t find what we were looking for in a sink (we wanted an overflow drain, since that is the sink any grandkids will use), but we finally bought one that was at least acceptable. We also had to choose and buy a faucet.

    We had a friend from church install the vanity, and he bought the pipes but also had to go buy an additional length of pipe since we are putting in higher vanities (better for our senior years). A different friend had taken out the old vanity.

    We need to strip wallpaper and take off the paste, but whatever paste is behind that wallpaper looks very difficult to remove (so far nothing we have tried seems to soften it), so right now we have ugly walls with some wallpaper paste showing and some wallpaper hanging off the wall. After the friend installed the vanity, my husband and I went to the store to find different handles for the drawers, and hubby installed those. We bought a toilet paper holder and towel rack, too, though neither has yet been put up since the wallpaper is still there. Since we used a vanity that isn’t as long as the previous one, the light over the sink is now way off center, and will need to be replaced and the wall patched. Once the wallpaper has been fully removed and the walls somehow cleaned, we will need to patch and paint. We haven’t yet chosen the paint color, though we will have plenty of the light green paint, and we can use that if it will work. We will probably prime first, and since it is a bathroom, we may not wish to use the other paint since the light green paint is “eggshell” and that isn’t what is recommended for bathrooms.

    The bathroom only has one outlet, and it seemed not to work, but one worker found out that the breaker had been tripped. But it isn’t the kind of GFCI outlet you are supposed to use near water, so we may need to replace it and/or add a different one. I vote for getting a light that has an outlet attached, since the other outlet is a ways from the sink now. The floor vent was rusty; since the previous owner had a cat, we had all the vents cleaned out, and then we replaced the covers. At some point the mirror we bought will need to be hung, and we may want a rack over the door for bathrobes to be hung. Doorknobs need to be replaced in the whole house, and the current ones are old-fashioned ones (without a plate on the edge of the door), so we are hiring that done and not doing it ourselves. In most of the house, the outlets are tan but the covers are white, so those need to be replaced. Somewhere in there I needed to open boxes of all our toiletries and put them away–after finding which boxes held toiletries.

    All of that is in addition to the cleaning that everything in this house needed. Even the “minor” purchases in that list still required going to at least one store and making a choice. Yet nearly all of those choices and those tasks are invisible, and a person visiting our house sees mostly the boxes still waiting to be unpacked!

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  35. Kizzie, also consider that a vague “I need to get help” is very different from “I have sinned against you and your family in such and such ways. I have confessed to God and I know He has forgiven me, but I sinned against you and hurt you, too, and I am so sorry.” A good manipulator might say those things as well, but that might show true heart change. But a vague statement about needing help, followed by continued irresponsibility, says nothing, really, about recognizing how he has sinned or that he has sinned. So far it’s about him and not about you and your family and not about God. That isn’t really repentance.

    But no, you are not the one to have conversations with him about repentance!

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  36. Yeah, Cheryl, it occurred to me sometime yesterday that he has not said he is sorry or asked for forgiveness from us.

    The “God” he mentioned I think is the generic “God” that some people believe in. So I don’t think he has yet surrendered his life to Christ, but it is my prayer that he will, and soon. (And of course, the same for my girls and boy.)

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  37. Son mentioned the rapper killed today in Florida. He said the guy is one of his favorites. I googled to see some of his lyrics. Extremely ugly and hateful and obscene. Where does son listen to this music? At school is where he used to, I don’t know where he still does as they attempted to close that door when I mentioned it to them the last time. There is no way to keep our children from that with the internet so available. God is in control or I would go crazy with this. I guess I am asking for prayer so this should be on the prayer thread, for wisdom on how to talk to him about liking this music and claiming to be a believer.

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  38. Just to add to what Cheryl said about repentance, true repentance also does not seek anything in return from those one has wronged. The one who is truly repentant does ask for forgiveness, but does not assume or take it as a right. If X was truly repentant, not only would he admit to his wrongdoing, he would also not make any demands to reenter your lives, but wait for you to see that he has truly changed and decide for yourself if he is safe to be allowed back in. Seeking hugs and expressions of affection after a vague expression of needing to change (even just saying, “I’m sorry” is not really enough when you have truly sinned against someone) isn’t what someone who realized the enormity of what they had done would do. A far more loving thing would be to go away and cede any custody right to the child you traumatized and emotionally abused to the woman whose life you threatened. Love would be letting that child decide for himself, when he is old enough and had time to process what happened in his childhood, make contact with you if he so chooses. Love would be allowing that woman whose life you terrorized be entirely free to make a new life for herself, with no strings always drawing her back into your circle of influence. Repentance does not seek a backdoor to that woman’s life through her recently widowed mother.

    Kizzie, you can love X in the sense that you would love any human life, by not seeking to hurt or destroy that life. But you have no reason to love him as a family member. Just because he fathered your daughter’s child does not give him the right to be considered your family member. In the law of Moses, if a man seduced a young unmarried woman, her father could still judge whether or not he was the kind of man he would marry his daughter to. If the seducer was the kind of man the father could not bring himself to marry his daughter to, the seducer still had to pay her dowry but had no rights to the woman (Exodus 22:16-17). No doubt, such a seduction was often discovered when the girl became pregnant. It is sometimes foolishly said among Christians that the reason couples who are sleeping together need to get married is that having intimate relations with one another is essentially creating that marriage bond. When it is said, they often cite I Corinthians 6:17, “…he which is joined to an harlot is one body…”. But Paul wasn’t saying a man using a prostitute was marrying that prostitute, he was saying that the act of fornication was a vile mockery of marital relations, which those who were Christians should not pollute their bodies by committing. It is clear, looking at the example in the law of Moses, that extramarital relations were never considered equivalent to creating the marriage bond, and having extramarital relations with a woman did not automatically make her yours for life.

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  39. Mumsee, the adulations pouring in for that rapper are enough to make one think that nothing has changed since Genesis 3:15 – if the man has talent, it doesn’t matter how he treats women:

    His follow-up ? debuted at the top of the Billboard 200 chart in March and has been listened to hundreds of millions of time online.

    The album tackled subjects such as depression and was praised by some of rap’s most high-profile stars.

    But his short career was plagued by allegations of domestic violence. He was facing 15 felony charges at the time of his death, including aggravated battery of a pregnant woman…

    XXXTentacion had a troubled upbringing and was expelled from middle school for fighting, but he channelled his energy and fury into music.

    He quickly became the most popular artist in the genre known as SoundCloud Rap, defined by its languid, hazy beats and wide-ranging influences.

    His surging popularity was noted by the music industry and, by October 2017, he had scored a distribution agreement reportedly worth $6 million (£4.5m).

    But the teenager’s career was already being overshadowed by his legal problems. Fans were apparently unswayed, sending his latest album to number one in the US.

    Tributes quickly poured in on social media, including from music star Kanye West. “I never told you how much you inspired me when you were here,” he posted on Twitter… [Link: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44529367%5D

    Gag…

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  40. Yesterday 2nd Arrow & Fiance were here for a visit. They mentioned how much trouble his mom is having finding a dress she wants to wear to the wedding in September.

    I hadn’t started looking for a mother-of-the-bride dress yet, so I thought maybe I should get going on that for myself, too. I’d been thinking about it, as well as what to do with my hair (cut how much? maybe color it — gasp! — or keep the gray in it as is?), whether to get my ears re-pierced (the holes are pretty well grown shut from little use of earrings after I became a mother), etc.

    So tonight I went shopping for a dress for the wedding. Our budget is quite limited, so I decided I’d go to a stylish second-hand shoppe to try to find something nice, and reasonably-priced at the same time.

    I had no illusions that I would find a dress on the first day of shopping for one, and figured I’d check back to the store regularly in the next few weeks or months until I found one.

    So I walked in the store, and literally the first dress I laid eyes on — within two seconds of getting through the front door — was the one!

    I did try one other outfit, too, with various accessories, but I saved the first dress I saw for last, and the saleslady who helped me find different items to go with the two outfits said about that dress, “That one!”

    A few other women in the fitting rooms area said the dress looked good on me, too.

    I also found shoes to go with the dress that were cute and brought compliments, as well.

    I’m not 100% sure about the necklace I bought, but it was only $5.00, is a nice complement to the dress, I think, and will match the color of my husband’s suit.

    I prayed before heading out shopping that, if not today, sometime I would be able to find something pretty and inexpensive, and special for the day.

    When I checked out, all I had to lay down on the checkout counter was three 20s, a dime, and four pennies, and I walked out of the store with the dress, a nice pair of wedges (surprisingly comfortable), and a necklace.

    The saleslady who helped me put the outfit together took four pictures of me and emailed the pics to my gmail account. If any of you would like to see the pictures and offer more fashion suggestions (especially about the necklace), or my hair (go easy on me — it’s really bad right now!), or anything else, let me know and I’ll send them to you. I’d love to hear your advice. 🙂

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  41. Okay, well that was interesting. I was reading in Galatians 5 about the direction of the flesh as opposed to the Spirit and that Fruit. Son came in and that is where the discussion went. We talked about how that singer was hurting a lot of people with his songs. Son mentioned another singer and we were able to see how that singer is covering the same stuff but with a different stance and is helping people with his music. And then we talked about the need to pray for those who are entertaining us. and we ended congenially. Thank You, God.

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  43. Roscuro, when I googled him, I was appalled. And told son so. And told son, though he was having a horrible influence on way too many people, I still don’t want him dead and in hell for eternity.

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  44. Six you know I want to see
    Karen. Guard yourself
    Cheryl I am so happy for you to Home your home. Tours and hubby’s
    DJ. Of course I will need photos of the house

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  45. Mumsee and Kim, I think the email went through now. Silly me, I used the word “at” instead of the @ in Mumsee’s address when I sent the email to you both. I got an error message twice before I realized that word “at” in the address wasn’t going to fly, duh! 😛

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  49. Ok, you’ll have to send it to all of us.

    Having a debate with painter over how much paint we need, his projections more than doubled from last month and that’s gonna cost a lot. 😦

    We had another shooting in town overnight, a 17-year-old mom shot in her car. This is really getting intense.

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