by

Prayer Requests 9-2-17

Anyone have something to share?

Psalm 24

1 The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
    the world, and all who live in it;
2 for he founded it on the seas
    and established it on the waters.

3 Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord?
    Who may stand in his holy place?
4 The one who has clean hands and a pure heart,
    who does not trust in an idol
    or swear by a false god.

5 They will receive blessing from the Lord
    and vindication from God their Savior.
6 Such is the generation of those who seek him,
    who seek your face, God of Jacob.

7 Lift up your heads, you gates;
    be lifted up, you ancient doors,
    that the King of glory may come in.
8 Who is this King of glory?
    The Lord strong and mighty,
    the Lord mighty in battle.
9 Lift up your heads, you gates;
    lift them up, you ancient doors,
    that the King of glory may come in.
10 Who is he, this King of glory?
    The Lord Almighty—
    he is the King of glory.

56 thoughts on “Prayer Requests 9-2-17”

  1. Good morning. I posted a prayer request for my friend L last night. She has had a bad week with the cancer and the chemo, etc. She was admitted to the hospital last night. (It seems that most times after a chemo treatment she ends up in the ER and then admitted to the hospital–I am not sure that is what happened this week).
    I am a selfish person. I hide it well, but I really am selfish. I don’t want to lose her and I don’t want her husband to lose her. They are one of the most perfect couples I know and I introduced them!
    Please pray for L but also for her husband R and then for all of her friends. We love her.

    Liked by 9 people

  3. I spoke with Carol, she’s still awaiting a consultation with a surgeon but they gave her a big breakfast this morning so I doubt surgery is imminent. The morphine is controlling the pain and making her feel happy, from the sounds of it; but I’m worried, this sounds like it could be very serious and tough to “fix.”

    I texted her brother and suggested he might try to get in touch with her doctors to find out more since he’s a relative and can do that, but we’ll see. They have an estranged relationship and he tends to put up a wall sometimes. I also let the man at Carol’s church know, he’s been very good about wanting to be kept in the loop and he said he’d call her also today. At least she was able to pay her bill and get her cell phone back in service before she went to the hospital this time.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. 6 Arrows – You asked if they were giving him CoQ10. I don’t know, but I’ll ask him. That is one of the supplements we take at home.

    DJ – You asked if they’d done an EKG. He hasn’t mentioned that, but I’ll ask him.
    **************
    I am feeling frustrated this morning. This is the third day he has been in the hospital, with no answers, & he’s still got blood in his urine. He doesn’t know if they’re even gonna do any more testing today.

    At least he’s enjoying the food. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I understand your frustration, Kizzie. Second Arrow was hospitalized from Saturday night to Tuesday night last, and they had no answers for her until Monday afternoon. (Then we found out Tuesday morning that some of what we’d been told by hospital personnel — while we were there Monday afternoon — turned out to be incorrect.) Daughter also had much pain, getting morphine every 2-4 hours for the first 36 hours or so, had blood in her urine (and maybe in her stool?), and other things that are pretty scary to a 24-year-old and her concerned parents and fiance.

    Praying your hubby will get answers soon, and will be able to come home in short order.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Praying for Kim’s friend L (and L’s hubby), as well as Carol. So hard to watch beloved friends and relatives in the throes of such painful and devastating illnesses.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. My RN friend confirmed it doesn’t sound good for Carol, so I sent a more strongly worded text to her brother suggesting to should try to reach one of her doctors to see what’s up. She needs someone who can run medical interference for her this time, I think.

    Kizzie, I mentioned the EKG because the editor who was having a burning sensation in his chest a couple weeks ago and went to ER said that’s the first thing they did (and it came back clear, his BP and cholesterol also were fine though he’s a big guy and not in great physical shape). He was released and they were doing some more followup tests, but the EKG did rule out that he’d had any kind of heart attack or other episode. Lots of stress at our work place right now, obviously, that could have brought it all on.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Hubby has answered “no” to both questions.

    He did, though, have an EKG on Monday at the primary care doctor’s office, & it seemed fine. But a blood test at the hospital detected an elevation of an enzyme, which indicated that there had been some sort of episode with his heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Did they say he is running out of blood or are you saying it? Perhaps the pocket is about done bleeding? I know nothing, just checking to see you don’t get ahead of things in your concern.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Sorry, I don’t usually look at the faces. But, glad you can joke, that is a good thing. Though I know from my own experience of having my husband fading away, it was easy to see things worse than they were.

    Liked by 4 people

  18. Kizzie!

    I just got back from outdoor light shopping, Carol called just as I was finishing up at the store (love cell phones, I have to say) and they have found a surgeon (apparently first one they wanted was out of town for the holiday weekend); new surgeon was supposed to come by and see Carol “sometime” today. They have my number and her brother’s number as contacts at the hospital and I will try to see if I can’t be there when the surgery is scheduled. Sounds like it could be soon, definitely sometime over the weekend I’m guessing.

    It does sound risky so that’s a real concern. There are 3 infectious accesses on her abdominal wall that need to be drained and cleaned but they are near her hernia which makes it tricky and surgery period is risky for her. So prayers welcome.

    Liked by 4 people

  19. I fly to Seattle tomorrow morning and will drive home alone over two days. Tomorrow will be the longest day; leaving home at 5:15 to catch the airport bus, arriving Seattle at 1, leaving town around three and driving for 4.5 hours, with a possible detour to see Tammy along the way.

    The car practically drives itself (or it did when last I saw it), but that’s still a long day for me. Thanks.

    Liked by 5 people

  20. I will pray for you as I fly, Michelle. I am up and getting ready for four flights to home. The second one, Atlanta to Orlando, had no more seats left at my check in. We will see what God has in store.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. Carol is supposed to have surgery sometime “this afternoon,” no time but someone from the hospital, maybe the surgeon, is supposed to call me with details at some point today. I told Carol I’d be up there to wait for her during the surgery. Sounded like they were going to keep it as minimally invasive as possible due to risks and I’m thinking the long-term prognosis (for this thing not just returning again) may not be terrific.

    She was disappointed when id didn’t get up there to visit yesterday but I told I wanted to wait to see when surgery would be, that it would be more important (I thought) for me to be there then and I had a feeling they’d be doing it rather quickly (today or tomorrow).

    Her brother hasn’t responded to my texts; I understand being burned out from the relationship over a lifetime, but I tried to stress to him that this thing seemed pretty serious to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Hubby is still in the hospital. This is his fourth day there. The bleeding is slowing down, but they still haven’t determined what caused it. The test to take a look at his bladder was cancelled because he would have to go under anesthesia, & they are concerned about his heart. Sounds like what he went through on Monday, but passed off as anxiety, was indeed some kind of heart episode after all.

    No news yet as to when he can come home.

    Meanwhile, Chickadee & I have been childsitting each day since Friday. Friday was just for a couple hours after school, but yesterday, today, & tomorrow, Nightingale is working 2nd shift (3 – 11). I do wish she wasn’t working tonight, as I could really use a relaxing day.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Carol’s surgery is at 4 and is expected to last an hour but meanwhile I’m stuck at Sears Auto waiting for new alternator; Jeep was whining terribly on way to church and then battery light came on (battery is ok).

    91 degrees by 10 am, only a few rain drops and horribly muggy, pray for these guys who have to do physical work in this miserable weather

    Liked by 2 people

  25. There are many needs others around me have, but I am selfishly asking for prayers for me.

    I have a very busy week coming up and am afraid I won’t have the stamina to do what needs doing. I got eight hours sleep last night, yet was asleep again by 11:00 a.m. and took nearly a two-hour nap. Then fell asleep again around 5:00 pm for a shorter time.

    The lumps in my clavicle area are bigger and more painful this weekend. I am reluctant to seek medical care because it means spending money for something other than food (money has been in short supply since my husband dismantled our budget many months ago, not wanting to be restricted from spending as he pleases, which tends to largely go toward maintaining and repairing our ten vehicles — that figure is not an exaggeration, and it leaves fewer funds for groceries and other necessities). The kids have enough to eat, but I shortchange myself, as they are growing and I’m not.

    Work on the septic system will begin this week or next, and our monthly payments of $140 will begin next month. I told hubby that we’re going to need to get a budget back in place to figure out how we can make that payment and cover the rest of our needs, too. He said nothing, and simply walked out of the room. That was Friday.

    Please pray for wisdom in how I can approach this with him. Again. It’s unsustainable, the way we’re living now, and I am just about out of patience.

    And am definitely out of energy.

    Thank you.

    Liked by 6 people

  26. Six, I will be praying for that wisdom.

    And I will offer something I have learned. Feel free to scroll by because I am certain it does not apply in all situations.

    We, too, had the financial differences. I wanted to save every penny while at the same time wanting to donate it all to what I thought were good causes and he wanted to spend on whatever. I thought his expenditures foolish. It could have built into big frustrations for both of us. Recall that the number one cause of marital discord and divorce is finances. Instead, I opted out of the finances. We were living in New York at the time and he asked me how much I needed to feed and clothe the family. He would make certain that amount was available and I stopped being concerned about the rest. Decided to trust him with caring about his family enough to figure it out. God has honored that decision and we have made it work. We will never be wealthy, in fact we just got above the poverty line, but that is because children moved out and husband is old enough for social security. But we have what we need and we never have money squabbles. And I never worry about the bills getting paid. Men often are capable of stepping up to the plate.

    As a side note, not wishing to cause more concern but we found it interesting, that is the time I started wearing a head covering. It seemed to give me the idea that maybe my ideas were not the only ones of value. For me, trust has not come easy. But it has grown over the years as I have learned to let my husband be who he is.

    I am not saying your path has to be mine, but I have found a lot of peace by leaving it to him. If we lose our home, I am okay with that. If we lose our cars, I am okay with that. But I don’t see those things happening. But when the fire came close a couple years ago, I realized how much God had changed my mindset. It is truly a blessing.

    I have the responsibility of the children and that is huge enough without taking on more. He has even taken on the shopping chores and that has been huge as well. We are a team.

    Liked by 4 people

  27. What Mumsee has written will indeed work well for many husbands & wives. But not all, which she acknowledges.

    Does your husband know about those lumps, & why you are not seeking medical help? I think he needs to know. Maybe if he realizes that his wife is putting her health in jeopardy because of his choices, it will wake him up. Even if it doesn’t, he still needs to know.

    Like

  28. Thank you for sharing your perspective and experience, Mumsee, and for your prayers.

    Kizzie, my husband knows about the lumps, and that I already saw one practitioner about them. When I showed hubby the lumps, he expressed surprise about how skin and bones I am. (I guess he hasn’t really paid attention to my shoulder/clavicle area lately, which of course is bonier than most other areas.) But we’ve had many conversations about not having enough money left over for medical care, for adequate amounts of food, for numerous things, and he told me after I found the lumps that I should go to a clinic around here that doesn’t take insurance, because an office visit is cheaper. So I did.

    But yes, he’s aware that I routinely put off getting medical care because there is no money in the medical envelope (or any other envelope) anymore. He thinks they’re all idiots, anyway, and that I’m usually better off not going. We’ve had a number of bad experiences with people in the medical field, which doesn’t help. And I have been vocal with my complaints about some of them, too, so I am probably partly to blame about his attitude toward them.

    He does know how his spending habits are affecting family finances, but he hates having any conversation about money. (And he wants me to pay the bills, so I can’t say, here, honey, you take care of all the financial matters.)

    I guess I have exasperated him, by asking him questions about what to do about our finances, but I often wonder, if I don’t say anything, if I’m not enabling him in what feels like neglect to me. He doesn’t have time for us to sit down and talk to a third party face-to-face about this, either, the times I’ve suggested we do that.

    Where do I go next? Is prayer my only recourse? I don’t mean to sound like I’m minimizing prayer, and I hate that this is probably sounding like I’m bashing my husband, too. He tries to take good care of our vehicles, and that day recently that I almost got in what would have probably been a bad car crash was largely averted by how well my brakes worked. That was his doing.

    But taking care of people is a lot more than taking care of the things that people (in this case, family) use. It doesn’t matter enough to him how much food or medical care I do or don’t get to make him change his habits. 😦

    Maybe I should stop paying the bills, use the checking account to purchase extra groceries and medical care, and let the chips fall where they may?

    Lord, I am so weary.

    Apologies for acting like I’m a martyr. I am struggling to have hope.

    Thank you all for praying.

    Liked by 5 people

  29. Carol’s surgery was postponed until tomorrow, they had a backup of more urgent surgeries in the OR tonight — thank you for the prayers. AND the man from her Lutheran church who bought her the phone came to the hospital, so good to have someone else there — he’s 80 and I urged him to go home after 90 minutes (when it was obvious surgery would be indefinitely postponed). I stayed on for several more hours but finally left after asking Carol if it would be ok (this surgery now doesn’t appear “risky” after I spoke with the doctor) and she said sure. She also was not feeling anxious from what I could tell. Of course, she wants me to come back tomorrow but I didn’t commit, I still have my laundry and other chores to do around here before going back to work on Tuesday.

    Liked by 3 people

  30. Looks like two naps yesterday was too much — insomnia now.

    Mumsee, you’re right that finances cause a great deal of marital discord and divorce. I don’t disagree with that. However, lack of communication is a problem for many, too.

    My husband has one sibling who is divorced. I don’t know what the issues were in her marriage, but her husband wanted to talk them out, and she refused. She’d just walk out of the room; she did not ever want to talk about any problems, or look for solutions with her husband.

    Her husband gave up trying, and left.

    Now, am I going to get up and leave my husband for refusing to discuss our financial problems? No. But I can understand her ex-husband’s frustration with her unwillingness to communicate.

    I don’t know that I am doing my husband, or our marriage, any favor by deciding not to mention my concerns anymore. We disagree on finances and on how to raise the children, two biggies in a relationship. He does not want to discuss those issues anymore. He doesn’t even want to talk about difficult things we both agree on, like the problem of our daughter wanting to cohabitate with her fiance.

    Our marriage has been getting quieter and quieter the last few years. I’m just letting him do things his way to avoid tension, and I am watching what looks like a slow death.

    That is hardly a marriage. It’s a tragedy.

    Liked by 3 people

  31. How long have you been married, Six? Sounds like you would not be able to get him to talk with anybody about your marriage, could you? Do you have somebody close at hand, female, who would not just listen to you and say oh, poor you? But somebody of wisdom and understanding that could help you see your way? I don’t know if actual marriage counseling works, but I do know people have made their marriages better through changing the way they view the spouse.

    Liked by 2 people

  32. Six, have you ever listened to one of those programs on Christian radio which are meant to help marriage and families? I wonder if you could call one of those groups and gets some advice or books to read? They can’t change your husband, but they can help get perspective and be a listening ear. I know when things have gotten to the point you seem to be, it is dangerous territory. I also have heard how many marriages that seem hopeless can be helped, even if only one gets help.

    It may give you some insight about your husband. Who knows what his fears and insecurities are? You may discover something that will help you understand a bit more. That may make you feel a little less unloved.

    As far as your daughter living with her fiancé goes, neither of you can do much about it. If she knows you disapprove and believe it is a mistake, but still love her, that is about it. Leaving a door open, while not enabling is important. Even grown children will use one parent against another to get what they want. We can only trust God that someday the child might come to see the truth of the situation.

    Liked by 3 people

  33. 6, I’m sorry to hear about your marital struggles. I got the sense all was not going well, but didn’t know exactly what. I will be praying for you and your husband. I will also be blunt and say that adequate food and proper medical care is more important than cars. If you have ten cars, not all of them need to be kept up. Even when there were three adult children at home with my parents, we never had more than three operating cars in our driveway, and one of them was owned and maintained by one of my siblings.

    My father loves antique cars, and many years ago, when I was small, he bought a couple of old cars which needed a lot of work to ever make road worthy. My mother was somewhat upset, as finances were never good. There was a sharp disagreement [The only times my parents fought were over those slender finances, and we children hated and feared those arguments though they did not happen often], but in the end, my father laid aside his cars for later. One eventually was sold for scrap, but he still has the other, and he has been occasionally working on the engine and frame. He is now in his 70s, and the likelihood of him ever finishing the car is very low, but he still dreams. Yet he laid aside those dreams to provide for his family, and now, as he is kept busy helping with his grandchildren, he still defers them. He said the other day, when remarking that he had spent every day last week away from home, serving one or the other of us (he drove me to the city on Thursday and then picked me up from the bus stop on Friday), that he figures that that the Lord will just show him what he should be doing each day. Sometimes, in my teen years when I thought I knew everything, I would think my mother nagged my father a bit too often, but I realize now that he is the absent minded type who needs more reminders. My mother may not always go about her reminders the best way, but my father is a patient man and they jog along together after four decades of marriage, adjusting for each others’ faults.

    All that to say, wives are their husbands’ helpers, and enabling a husband’s bad habits or sinful tendencies is not helping them. If there is more money being spent on unneeded cars than food, which is a necessity of life, that is failing to obey the command in the NT to provide for one’s family. My father, however reluctantly, recognized that after my mother uncompromisingly pointed it out, and now we children hold him in honour for having laid aside such a keenly held interest for his family’s sake. We pay attention to his opinions on things like the men my siblings married because we have seen that he had the wisdom to make the right choices in his own life. Medical care when one is ill is also a necessity [Certainly the healthcare profession is made up of humans who can err, but more people die younger in places without healthcare]. You should not be starving yourself or allowing health problems to slide to avoid conflict. It is not right. Submission does not mean being a doormat for a husband’s whims. Abigail saved her husband Nabal’s life and property from David’s anger by doing the exact opposite of what Nabal wanted. A husband also has the responsibility to lay down his life in service to his wife. Laying down one’s life more often requires laying aside one’s interests and preferences than actually risking life and limb. A wife cannot make her husband assume his responsibility to love her by laying down his life – just as a husband cannot make his wife submit – but she can challenge him to fulfill that responsibility. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, and what better friend for a married man than his wife?

    Liked by 2 people

  34. Hmm. That is what I was concerned somebody would do. Six, be very careful. Phos’s post has a lot of truth in it, but nobody has suggested you enable him or be a doormat. You have already told him you were dissatisfied with the arrangement. He has expressed disinterest in hearing more. Which is why I suggested putting it all on his plate. Then it is between him and God how he sees to his family’s needs.

    Do not let people hear your side and jump on your “evil” husband. That will not help you. Ask God to show you your husband through His Eyes. Ask Him to open yours.

    Liked by 4 people

  36. Phos, in my dealings with people I have learned that when people hear the first side, they tend to forget there is a second side.
    After our incident of a few years ago, there are people with whom we attended church and fellowshipped with for nearly fifteen years who now view us as evil based on the allegations of a child which were accepted and supported. Said child is now back tracking on the things which others had encouraged to develop in her mind that were not based on truth but were based on things she said and they did not pause to hear another side.
    We all speak with biases. When hearing a person’s concerns about another, it is best to understand that the view may be biased. This is especially true in marriage and parent/child concerns.

    Liked by 3 people

  37. Maybe because of some of the issues in my own marriage in the past, & being tired & a bit anxious about what’s going on with my husband in the present, I was feeling angry after reading 6 Arrows comment last night, not only about not being able to seek medical care, but about not having enough food, either. If I had commented any more than I did last night, I would probably have regretted it this morning.

    After reading the subsequent comments, I do have this suggestion in the form of asking others if you think it is a good one or not: Since Mr. Arrows will not discuss financial matters, & will not take any of his wife’s advice to heart, would it be a good idea for her to put the bill-paying in his lap? To respectfully tell him that if he does not want to discuss the finances, then he can deal with them?

    If I am understanding the situation correctly, he is doing what he wants with “his” money, & ignoring the actual needs. If he doesn’t pay the bills, he may not have a firm enough grasp of what their financial situation is, which enables him to keep ignoring those needs. (Again, that is if I am understanding it correctly.)

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Mumsee, I know accounts may be biased; but I also know that Christian are sometimes too reluctant to recognize and reprove wrong when it is present in other believers (though, ironically, we seem to have no problem with reproving those outside the Church for their sin), using the excuse that there is two sides to every story. I have mentioned my friend who is married to a man with a serious sexual addiction. The man has admitted the addiction to many pastors, counselors, and personal friends, some of whom I know personally as well, so I have ample reason to know that what his wife, my friend, tells me is correct. This addiction means he has no interest in fulfilling his marital duty. His wife has been told by in-laws, her own parents, and even pastors that if she made herself more desirable she could keep his interest. I pointed out that using such techniques as the world suggest to make one attractive not only did not help his addiction, but also that a wife, as one flesh with her husband, should not be expected to use the techniques of a prostitute.

    She later said how much that helped her to feel free of the burden of ‘saving’ her husband from his problem. She is still married to him, and still trying to help him in other ways to fight his addiction – though it must be said he is not trying as hard as he should (something he has admitted). I still care about him as a brother in Christ and pray for him, and treat him as a fellow human being, as do those of my fellow Christians who know him. Saying that he is doing wrong and that she does not have to try to satisfy his wrong desires neither destroyed the marriage nor cause those of us who know of the problem to isolate and shun him. I do not view him as evil, but I grieve over the evil he does, and am thankful that my friend is not ensnared in the same evil, though she suffers from it in other ways. There are times to listen to both sides, and there are times to call out something as wrong and help the wronged party draw appropriate boundaries.

    6 knows she is free to accept or reject my advice, which I freely admit is not perfect since I am not perfect, as she sees fit.

    Like

  39. Oh, I almost forgot to update you all on my dear husband. We went to see him this morning, the whole family, & were there a couple hours. Then we had to get back home so Nightingale could make it work on time.

    We were told that the heart issue seems to have resolved itself (or calmed down, however you want to look at it). He didn’t have an actual heart attack, but the heart was under too much stress at the time.

    The urologist finally came in this afternoon, after we’d left. He said that if there are no more clots coming out, they will pull the catheter out tomorrow, & make sure he can urinate on his own. The doctors thinks that the tumor on his prostate may be irritating the bladder, causing the bleeding, so he wants him to start that new med (that the oncologist prescribed) as soon as possible.

    If he had already started it, they could continue to give him some in the hospital, but since he hadn’t started it yet, they can’t.

    He may be released tomorrow or Wednesday. Praying it will be tomorrow.

    Liked by 6 people

  41. Kizzie, I’m sure he’s more that ready to get out of there. 🙂

    Carol’s surgery may happen sometime around 1 p.m. today our time, but who knows. She really wanted me to come back today but I have laundry and other chores to get done around here before heading back in to work tomorrow. I think she’ll be ok, they’re saying this isn’t a high-risk procedure and she really doesn’t get anxious over medical things for some reason. I’d be a basket case, but she seems not worried. The only thing I’d really wish I could do is get a few moments with the doctor, but that might not be possible even if I were there, I don’t know.

    Her brother has never responded to any of my texts about her impending surgery (I point-blank told him I was concerned about these infections which could be very serious and that he should probably try to reach the doctor). Carol said he hasn’t called her.

    I understand being burned out on a relative, but I don’t understand his non-responsiveness when she really does need a family advocate. (I’m almost certain he gets my texts, he has responded — occasionally, not always — before to them and his number has been the same for some time now.)

    Maybe he’s tried to reach the doctors, who knows. But I’ve decided not to provide anymore unsolicited updates (unless something is dire). If he wants to know, he can call her or me himself.

    Liked by 2 people

  42. Thank you, all, for your commentary. Very good to read, and important to discuss. I’m not able to respond today, and likely not this whole week, as things are extremely busy around home. But I do want to weigh in with my thoughts, and answer the questions some of you have asked. I will bookmark this page and reply on it sometime later, so it doesn’t go into another thread. If you’re interested in continuing to add to or follow the page, then I’d encourage you to bookmark it, as well, as it might be kind of hard to find by the time I get back here.

    Thank you for your care and concern, and especially your prayers.

    Liked by 2 people

  44. Phos, sounds like the good advice to the woman with the husband in addiction is very similar to what I recommended for Six. Don’t shoulder his burden. Let him take responsibility for his stuff. Including his family needs. She has, over the years, let him know he is missing the mark. Continuing to sing the same song does not make the other person hear it louder, just tends to shut the ears. If the man is ignoring his family’s needs, he is definitely not following the Lord’s direction. And God may have to use other means than the wife who is not being heard.

    On the other side of the situation, I am suggesting she ask God to show her the husband through His Eyes. To build a true love in her for the image bearer. God will do what He will do in His time but I have seen marriages restored through one of the couple giving one hundred percent in the times the other can’t seem to give any. Sometimes, when a person does that, the other person softens and can begin to hear again.

    Liked by 5 people

  45. Mumsee, it is one thing to let a person go their way if they are not directly harming others; but if their actions are causing harm, then other measures need to be taken. In the case of my friend, the line she has drawn is if her children are at all endangered by their father’s addiction. It is one thing if one’s spouse spends money on their hobby or interest that one would have like to have spent on say, a family vacation or something else that would be nice to have but not necessary. It is another when the hobby or interest is placed before the families’ needs.

    Like

  46. She has said that their needs were being met. They had ample food and she had chosen not to go to the doctor. I don’t know the situation. But God does.

    If they are really not getting enough to eat, she could certainly speak to the folk in charge of church ministry and I am fairly certain some men showing up at the door to ask her husband why the family is not getting fed would get his attention. I have known of that being done before.

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Mumsee, she said she shortchanged herself to make sure the kids had enough, which made me think they didn’t have their needs met. Malnutrition in an adult is a serious concern, and will cause other health problems.

    Like

  49. Absolutely. But in the past she has indicated the needs were being met. And she has also stated that she has a hard time maintaining weight. Again, I don’t know the situation. As with all of us, we only know what people are willing to present on here..

    If the family is truly at risk, of course it needs to be strongly addressed.
    If the marriage is faltering, one spouse cannot change another but can take steps oneself to try to salvage the marriage. That does not mean it will be successful, only that the attempt is made.

    We love you, Six and none of us desire to give you further pain. Use our words in light of that and seek the Lord’s guidance as to how to proceed. I again caution about going for the sympathy vote, as we are all prone to do. I am not saying you are doing that or have done that. I am saying that people will come alongside and take your side without knowing the whole picture and that is easy to latch on to and start blaming your husband.

    Liked by 3 people

  50. Mumsee – 6 did write that she is short-changing herself food, & she also mentioned that her husband knows they have an inadequate amount of food. They do not have ample food. That worries me.

    I like your idea of having her go to the church & ask for help. Sometimes something like that needs to be done.

    Like

  51. Just jumping in to share this tid bit…..a story told in Paul’s family….during the depression, Grandma S would cook up a chicken for Sunday dinner….not enough pieces were to be had by the entire lot of them…Grandma S would take the “back” saying that was the best part of the chicken….no meat, all bone…the grown children told that story with tears in their eyes…knowing their Mom sacrificed for her family. Many Mom’s take the lesser piece or no piece at all….I am certain there are Dads who have done the same…..we do what we must do. Recalling very lean times in our earlier years…making a ten count box of frozen fish sticks last for a week….having rice and corn for dinner….creating meals from almost nothing (interesting tasting dishes for sure!)…..washing clothes in the bathtub for lack of 35 cents for the wash machine….my Daddy said to me that those times built character and tenacity…..and most of all…trust in my Provider….

    Liked by 2 people

  53. They didn’t take Carol in for surgery until around 6 p.m. I’ll call the nursing station around 9 to see how she’s doing, I’m sure she’ll be out for the night after that. I feel bad that I hadn’t gone to wait with her today (she’d asked me to), but I just had the feeling it would be a day- maybe even night-long wait ahead again. Pray that this resolves the problem and that they can manage the infections from here.

    Liked by 4 people

  54. 6 Arrows, usually I end up looking at the prayer thread the next day. I may check it a time or two during the day, or I may not–but looking at it the next day ensures I didn’t miss anything from the end of the day. So I’m just now seeing this.

    Two questions come to mind: Is your husband on the autism spectrum? Some of the things you say tell me that he might be (though I’m no expert), but whether or not he is, it looks like the communication between you isn’t “working.” Probably it would be good to talk to a wise, trusted older woman (someone who isn’t going to just listen and nod that your husband is bad, but who will respect him but help you, too). Second, it may well be a good idea to talk to your pastor, by yourself or together.

    Liked by 2 people

  55. Well, that didn’t end up being two “questions,” but anyway I had two points: If you haven’t looked into some version of autism for your husband, though I’m no expert I think it might be worth checking it out. Second, rather than reiterating the same points to your husband, though it isn’t working (nagging), talk to a wise godly older woman–one who will not gossip but also will not hear this as juicy stuff or “take sides” against your husband; but also consider talking with your pastor.

    Liked by 1 person

  56. Too many things to do to keep this thread on the “back burner” of my mind, interfering with what I should be thinking about, so I’ll answer your questions, give a summary thought, and leave it at that.

    How long have you been married, Six? [31 years.]

    Sounds like you would not be able to get him to talk with anybody about your marriage, could you? [Probably not, if past experience is any indicator.]

    Do you have somebody close at hand, female, who would not just listen to you and say oh, poor you? [Yes.]

    But somebody of wisdom and understanding that could help you see your way? [Yes.]

    Six, have you ever listened to one of those programs on Christian radio which are meant to help marriage and families? [No, we have poor radio reception here.]

    I wonder if you could call one of those groups and gets some advice or books to read? [I have some books like that.]

    Is your husband on the autism spectrum? [No. He was perfectly cognizant, for example, of the importance of visiting our hospitalized daughter last week, three hours away. He took the day off work, was willing to take a second day, if needed. Which was wonderful. He’s not oblivious to other people’s needs; he chooses to prioritize as he pleases.]

    Thank you for your prayers for our family while I am absent from here. (That’s not meant to be construed as walking away from this blog site forever, in case my words were unclear.)

    Liked by 6 people

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.