Cheryl, from 6:10 yesterday concerning the 2:13 video.
I wish I hadn’t seen it. I woke up last night thinking about that thing for about an hour.
What apparently happened is:
There was a mock election in the school this five year old black kid attended.
He’ FIVE! Got it?
They evidently thought it was funny or they wouldn’t have recorded and posted it.
But the kid is five.
He got home and his mother heard that he had voted for Trump.
Then Satan entered the woman and she went into a rage. A real hissy fit.
The video lasted about two minutes, but there were breaks in the action so it must have gone on about thirty minutes.
The woman threw her five year old son out of the house, cursing and screaming. He was crying and begging.
But the last scene was of this five year old black boy standing with his suitcase in the driveway bawling.
So funny I can’t stand it.
I can’t remember any events in my life from when I was five. But I had a ruptured appendix when I was six. I clearly remember riding from Winnsboro, SC to Columbia in the back of a car. And I fought them as they put the either mask over my face. I thought I was drowning. I remember seeing the traffic lights on Sumter St. outside the hospital. And aunt Mamie bringing chewing gum.
This kid will remember this forever. And he will never trust his parents again.
Someday, about fifteen years from now, they will show him that video. “Wasn’t that really funny Jimmy? He’ll think. “So that’s the reason I hate that bitch.”
They probably didn’t mean any harm at all. Just in fun. But sometimes max evil or stupidity, or both create a permanent wound. This will be.
I was talking to a friend yesterday who was very upset about the election. I mentioned now that Trump has won, the press will begin doing their job.
She said something very interesting which I hadn’t thought about before. She was watching PBS Newshour and they had the author of Hillbilly Elegy on a round table with three others discussing the election. Someone made a similar point about the press now doing their job.
The author pointed out that it almost didn’t matter anymore. The press blew it so big time by becoming puppets of the liberal wing, they are no longer trusted. Who is going to believe anything they say? They have exposed their hand and delegitimized themselves.
I’ve been saying since the World Mag Blog days when people would get into a hissy fit about the NY Times, we need a free and honest press. We’re all damaged when no one speaks the truth. I think that author may well be right.
Half the country right now is grieving–and whether you are sympathetic or not, it’s important to remember that and honor it. Grief doesn’t work with reason. Even reasonable people who are grieving know they are vulnerable and need to be careful.
When people who are not used to thinking logically or do not feel part of “the system,” get crossed, they don’t necessarily behave rationally. We’re seeing that right now on the streets. This observation is not to legitimize behavior (particularly when we know it is being manipulated by shadowy figures who are seldom brought to light by that same tame press), but to give you understanding.
We need to handle these people as if they are lambs, but be conscious that there are snakes under some of those woolen coats.
Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall inherit the earth–I’m not so sure about wanting to inherit the earth, I’ll take heaven, thanks, but in the meantime, we’re the peacemaker. By our actions, attitudes, words and our hearts, we need to be Jesus’ hands and feet here on earth; no matter what we think or want to say.
Chas- If the law enforcement and child services were doing their job, that woman would be in jail for what she did to her child and she would lose custody.
Didn’t see the video, but Chas’ description was enough. I see it was removed for bullying purposes, so perhaps something will be done. However, the poor little boy will still be hurt. 😦
The irony of this is that it is why Trump got elected: “When people who . . . do not feel part of “the system,” get crossed, they don’t necessarily behave rationally. We’re seeing that right now on the streets. This observation is not to legitimize behavior (particularly when we know it is being manipulated by shadowy figures who are seldom brought to light by that same tame press), but to give you understanding.”
Minorities, in particular, I almost said “trust” the system, but more truthfully they don’t trust it but many don’t have anything else and so they have to trust it. In other words, if you have no job skills, no car, don’t live near any place that can hire you, and see no way to exist without the handouts you are used to, then you vote for the Democrats who want to keep you in that system rather than the Republicans who tell you they’ll end it. And no, I’m not saying it’s all black people who are on welfare. But it is black communities (and presumably other minorities, too, but it’s black neighborhoods I personally know) that have many square miles of people with no human chance to get out. What do you do if you have only ever known the direst poverty, you can’t read, you don’t even have healthy teeth (who hires people with two teeth?), you have a houseful of children. . . .
I know of ministries that try to work on one thing at a time, for example providing after-school care for children so mothers don’t need to worry about them, giving job training, offering food, teaching literacy, teaching financial skills and matching money put in a bank account for a house, offering jobs to those who have passed the training . . . but it’s grueling, thankless stuff. And many people within the system are used to it and don’t really even want to do the work to get out, and many others are past the point they easily can. A year or so before the last crash, I edited a book that was talking about ministries in Chicago, and one of them was matching money that residents saved for a down payment, up to $750 or something like that. And I thought “Huh? A $1,500 down payment is nothing!” The houses in the inn-city neighborhood where I rented in Chicago were $150,000 or so, in a dangerous neighborhood, a hundred years old or so now, taxes probably $5,000 a year. If a person can come up with only $750 after months of saving, they don’t have the financial means to own a home. And honestly, there are reasons I rented in Chicago rather than buying–it was cheaper. (When you can rent for the cost of property taxes, there is no financial reason to buy, and to have to worry about maintenance and so forth. You simply are not even getting ahead on equity if your property taxes are equivalent to rent.) Well, that book chapter bragged that they had helped 70 people buy homes and only two foreclosures, or something like that . . . but a year later we had the market crash, and I thought probably most of the rest lost their homes then.
See, a community must be self-sustaining. If you only exist because of regular infusions of cash from outside, it kills you. Likewise, if fathers in the community are not caring for their children, but are letting government do so, men who are not protectors of the weak become dangers to the weak. One of the things that was starkly real to me in living in the inner city was that it was American weakness writ large. Black America had a 70% illegitimacy rate (and I noticed that virtually everyone I knew had had child #1 out of wedlock, so my personal estimate was that 90% of firstborns were out of wedlock), and that is an unsustainable figure. You cannot have a healthy community if most of your households are singles and single-parent households. It isn’t possible. The nation as a whole is heading toward those numbers. We aren’t there yet, but we’re heading there. Well, a mother with a professional-level job who can afford daycare is insulated a bit. She isn’t as hindered by having a child or two; she can afford it financially. But it’s a difference of degree and not kind; it is still radically unhealthy for a community to function without fathers. And we may not be as dependent as inner-city Americans, but the vast majority of us are radically dependent on others in ways our ancestors never dreamed of. What would happen, for instance, if our access to grocery stores were cut off? Yes, we pay for the food and don’t get food stamps, but we are still dependent on others outside our immediate area, and we can easily have that cut off.
Chas, I’ve probably told this story before, but for 20 years and more it has haunted me and I have wished I said something.
One day I was waiting at the bus stop in Chicago. Chicago has very weird social rules, and one of them was that you don’t talk to other people waiting at bus stops. Through trial and error I learned the work-around on that rule: There were at least two questions that were socially permissible at a bus stop: “What time is it?” and “Where does this bus go/ Does this bus stop at _____?” Sometimes you might wait at a bus stop for 45 minutes, and when a bus would finally come it would be three of them, the first two packed to the gills, the third one still with some room. So for 45 minutes you’re standing there, not making eye contact, not making chitchat. I learned that it was socially acceptable to ask “What time is it?” and then it was socially acceptable for the other person to say, “I’m not sure” but two minutes later, since you spoke first, they could say, “Hey, did you see the Cubs game?” By asking the question, you are giving them permission to talk . . . if they want to. You can only ask the “What time is it?” question, but you’ve at least established that they can talk if they want to. And if you don’t ask that question in the first four or five minutes, it’s awkward to ask it 30 minutes in. Ask it early and it’s less awkward to stand there if the bus takes forever to get there. But know also that if the two of you get chatting, there is a very good chance you will eventually get dirty looks from other people who are waiting. You really are supposed to wait silently, or talk only briefly and quietly with whoever you are traveling with.
So, one day I was standing and waiting, and so was a mother and her two little children. They might have been four and five, or three and five, or five and six. I don’t really remember, except there were two of them and they were barely school age or not yet. And they were bickering, as kids do, especially when they’re bored. And their mother kept speaking to them, “Shut up, knock it off.” And then the knock-out punch: “I wish you had never been born.” And know what happened? It worked. It might have been 20 minutes more before that bus came, and those two little ones said not one word. On the bus ride itself, they were silent.
I didn’t know them. The social rule said not to talk to them. I couldn’t say anything that would help, and what do you say to the mom in front of the children, anyway? So I said nothing. But I knew by their silence that they heard her loud and clear, and I knew by their silence that they too would remember that moment the rest of their lives.
And I wish today that I had come up with something to say to that mother or that family. But even as I wish it, I know it wouldn’t have helped. It might have led to anger and violence, I don’t know. But her words were about the starkest violence I have ever seen, and I know her children still hear them.
I saw the same author Michelle mentioned on another program, I thought he had some good light to share on the election and some of the forces behind Trump’s win.
These are difficult post-election times for many, a few around me at work vacillate between being sad and (really) mad. I am consciously keeping quiet whenever politics comes up in the workplace discussion.
I think of it in terms of how many have nothing bigger in which to trust than the political system, the wins and losses, whether or not their people are elected and in charge. It really can become almost like a religion, it’s the biggest factor there is in terms of their hopes, dreams and feelings of well being. It’s a very big deal. 😦 Add to that the fact that we have had 8 years of a president they adored — and whose rise to power was seen as a final repudiation of everything they viewed as awful in this country — and they end up feeling quite depressed.
For young (liberal) people, it’s especially been a shock, I think. The Obama victories were such a hopeful landmark in their minds, one that would not — or even could not — be reversed ever again with a conservative win (even though Trump isn’t really a conservative and I anticipate he’ll govern primarily as a pragmatic independent and will be at war sometimes with the GOP in Congress while giving liberals some comfort).
As for the press, it will be interesting to see whether this brings any changes, but I rather doubt it. I think the die has been cast there for a long time now. As Hillary once said, that all is pretty much “baked in” at this stage, undoing what is an inherent, strong (and unapologetic) liberal tilt isn’t too likely to happen.
Chas, my husband asked was it definite it was about voting for Trump? That is, is it possible that someone filmed the footage about something else but then just added a “motive”? I told him I didn’t see it, but it sounded like they had filmed the mother’s words at that time. (It almost doesn’t matter, really . . . except that someone thought that it “worked” for a political statement and added that.)
My hunch on the reason that the person filming it didn’t intercede might be that they thought it funny, but it might also be that they needed evidence. If you called to report your neighbor for child abuse a couple of times, and the authorities followed up but never did anything, video evidence just might be enough for them to intervene.
I purposely didn’t want the video. I could tell from the comments what had happened and yesterday I was too tired and emotional to deal with it. Reading Chas’ comment I know I made the right decision. Anything that would drive an 86 years old Christian, Southern, Gentleman to call a woman, ANY woman a bitch….I was shocked. Not shocked because I have never heard it, but shocked that he did. THAT should let us know how bad it was.
The children’s saying about “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never heart me” is a big fat LIE. Words last. The memory comes back out of no where. My mother told me she wished I had never been born. She told me that my father didn’t want me. Later, he told me that by the time he figured out something was wrong with her and wished he hadn’t married her she was already pregnant with me and he couldn’t take the risk of leaving any child of his with her. He stayed 19 more years and proved himself to be the best daddy in the world.
Deep breath…I am glad I didn’t want the video. Yesterday I couldn’t have handled it and today it has been taken down so I don’t have to.
I was saying the kid would say that about his mother.
I see on another thread that they say the kid wasn’t five. I had to go on all that I knew. I do know that trauma like that can ruing a life, regardless of age.
I may have told this before. Just a short comment in passing. Another black mother, but anyone could have done it. Years ago:
I happened to be passing by in a grocery store. I didn’t see what happened, but I heard a woman say. “Stop!. Put that down. You won’t never be nothing”.
You won’t never be nothing!
Partly because of you. guy’s probably in jail now and the mother doesn’t know why.
Cheryl. No I wouldn’t. It kept me awake about an hour last night, I was so agitated.
The point I’m trying to make here is that children soak up what they hear adults say about them. It helps form who they are.
I told you before that I had a high school English teacher who thought I was smart and that I would amount to something someday. She wrote a nice note about a poem I wrote.
She was wrong, of course, but it meant a lot to this worthless teenager at the time.
We always said positive things around Chuck and the girls. e.g. “That Mary is a smart kid.”
“Jenn is such a cute kid.” “They all have pretty hair.” Things like that. None of which was a lie.
Never, ever call a kid worthless, stupid or dumb.
I’ll bet Mumsee sees repercussions of that every day.
Well, I’ve never taken the expert advice to cook a month’s worth of meals in a single day–it’s not really my style. But I have realized that a lot of things freeze really well, and a lot of things can tire a family of eating before they eat it all up, so I’ve started serving things for a meal, then as leftovers, and then I either eat the additional leftovers or freeze them, rather than making my family eat them again. (Two servings is nearly always my family’s limit, no matter how much they like something.)
So, this week I have pulled out of the freezer, heated, and served: sliced ham, taco-seasoned hamburger meat, and (tonight) pork ribs. I have multiple servings of split-pea soup frozen in individual portion sizes, and another serving of taco meat, and probably one or two other easy meals like that. I think that once we defrost our freezer (which we do need to do), I will get more intentional about the meals-in-advance planning. When I bake potatoes, I always cook several, and then have them ready just to heat one at a time. When I bake cookies, I leave them out for a couple of days but I freeze some of them and bring them out in a couple of weeks when they are “freshly baked” all over again.
It is nice to know I can make pork ribs tonight just by heating them, not by hours and hours of cooking . . .
Michelle, right now you’ll find more pies and raw meat than anything else. 🙂 There is a lot of split-pea soup, but see, I can only make that when my husband is out of the house longer than usual–he cannot stand any hint of peas. So generally I only make it if he is out of town, and only reheat it if he is away for the evening (church meeting). Eight or ten servings need to last me a while.
I had a friend once who put all of the leftover vegetables from each meal in the freezer (I think in something like a plastic one gallon ice cream container. When she got ready to make vegetable soup she used that.
Kim, my mom often took the leftovers from the week, threw them together in a pot, and made soup. We learned that mac and cheese worked well with tomato soup, but she would throw stuff together regardless and sometimes it was pretty hideous. And since we had boiled potatoes at just about every dinner meal, those soups probably usually had some potatoes. Actually, she often fried the potatoes, and potatoes fried in bacon fat are pretty tasty.
We never did that at home but when I was in the Scouts, on camping trips we kept the left overs and for the last meal, we chunked everything in and made what we called Hunter’s Stew. Sometimes it was very good.
Chas/Kim/et al: As you know, my mom was/is an alcoholic. She would go into drunken rages quite frequently….and I heard her tell me at least a 100 times that she wished I’d never been born; how I’d ruined her life; that I was destined for hell, etc. I’ve been in therapy on and off for almost thirty years to “get over” those hurtful words….Tell a kid something often enough and he/she will absorb it into the core of their being. It is very hard to repair ones self-concept….. I pray for that little boy.
In my own parenting, I’ve been extremely careful with my words–knowing the power they hold. I’ve also tried to convey to both my girls that my love for them is unconditional –something I didn’t experience .
I made a conscious decision when BG was born to tell her daily I loved her, sometimes more than once. Now she isn’t living with me but I randomly text “Nub nou boo bunny” I receive “nub nou too”. It rhymes. When ever I am with her I make sure to kiss her on her head and tell her I love her when we separate. She was desperately wanted and no matter what I don’t ever want her to think she isn’t loved.
Kim, when I was 20, a roommate pointed out that “olive juice” looks the same as “I love you” when you’re lip-reading. So sometimes you’d look across a crowded room (say at church) and see her saying what you knew to be “olive juice,” but which indeed did look like “I love you.” 🙂
Wandering Views 
Cheryl, from 6:10 yesterday concerning the 2:13 video.
I wish I hadn’t seen it. I woke up last night thinking about that thing for about an hour.
What apparently happened is:
There was a mock election in the school this five year old black kid attended.
He’ FIVE! Got it?
They evidently thought it was funny or they wouldn’t have recorded and posted it.
But the kid is five.
He got home and his mother heard that he had voted for Trump.
Then Satan entered the woman and she went into a rage. A real hissy fit.
The video lasted about two minutes, but there were breaks in the action so it must have gone on about thirty minutes.
The woman threw her five year old son out of the house, cursing and screaming. He was crying and begging.
But the last scene was of this five year old black boy standing with his suitcase in the driveway bawling.
So funny I can’t stand it.
I can’t remember any events in my life from when I was five. But I had a ruptured appendix when I was six. I clearly remember riding from Winnsboro, SC to Columbia in the back of a car. And I fought them as they put the either mask over my face. I thought I was drowning. I remember seeing the traffic lights on Sumter St. outside the hospital. And aunt Mamie bringing chewing gum.
This kid will remember this forever. And he will never trust his parents again.
Someday, about fifteen years from now, they will show him that video. “Wasn’t that really funny Jimmy? He’ll think. “So that’s the reason I hate that bitch.”
They probably didn’t mean any harm at all. Just in fun. But sometimes max evil or stupidity, or both create a permanent wound. This will be.
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I didn’t see the video, Chas, but I agree with you.
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I was talking to a friend yesterday who was very upset about the election. I mentioned now that Trump has won, the press will begin doing their job.
She said something very interesting which I hadn’t thought about before. She was watching PBS Newshour and they had the author of Hillbilly Elegy on a round table with three others discussing the election. Someone made a similar point about the press now doing their job.
The author pointed out that it almost didn’t matter anymore. The press blew it so big time by becoming puppets of the liberal wing, they are no longer trusted. Who is going to believe anything they say? They have exposed their hand and delegitimized themselves.
I’ve been saying since the World Mag Blog days when people would get into a hissy fit about the NY Times, we need a free and honest press. We’re all damaged when no one speaks the truth. I think that author may well be right.
Half the country right now is grieving–and whether you are sympathetic or not, it’s important to remember that and honor it. Grief doesn’t work with reason. Even reasonable people who are grieving know they are vulnerable and need to be careful.
When people who are not used to thinking logically or do not feel part of “the system,” get crossed, they don’t necessarily behave rationally. We’re seeing that right now on the streets. This observation is not to legitimize behavior (particularly when we know it is being manipulated by shadowy figures who are seldom brought to light by that same tame press), but to give you understanding.
We need to handle these people as if they are lambs, but be conscious that there are snakes under some of those woolen coats.
Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall inherit the earth–I’m not so sure about wanting to inherit the earth, I’ll take heaven, thanks, but in the meantime, we’re the peacemaker. By our actions, attitudes, words and our hearts, we need to be Jesus’ hands and feet here on earth; no matter what we think or want to say.
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Chas- If the law enforcement and child services were doing their job, that woman would be in jail for what she did to her child and she would lose custody.
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Didn’t see the video, but Chas’ description was enough. I see it was removed for bullying purposes, so perhaps something will be done. However, the poor little boy will still be hurt. 😦
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😦 Glad the election is over, but would be happier, if we actually became a more civil country again.
🙂 Thank God for the bigger picture He gives us in His word. What a blessing!
🙂 Our weather. The deer hunters are not happy with the too warm weather, but some of us are really enjoying it.
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Michelle,
The irony of this is that it is why Trump got elected: “When people who . . . do not feel part of “the system,” get crossed, they don’t necessarily behave rationally. We’re seeing that right now on the streets. This observation is not to legitimize behavior (particularly when we know it is being manipulated by shadowy figures who are seldom brought to light by that same tame press), but to give you understanding.”
Minorities, in particular, I almost said “trust” the system, but more truthfully they don’t trust it but many don’t have anything else and so they have to trust it. In other words, if you have no job skills, no car, don’t live near any place that can hire you, and see no way to exist without the handouts you are used to, then you vote for the Democrats who want to keep you in that system rather than the Republicans who tell you they’ll end it. And no, I’m not saying it’s all black people who are on welfare. But it is black communities (and presumably other minorities, too, but it’s black neighborhoods I personally know) that have many square miles of people with no human chance to get out. What do you do if you have only ever known the direst poverty, you can’t read, you don’t even have healthy teeth (who hires people with two teeth?), you have a houseful of children. . . .
I know of ministries that try to work on one thing at a time, for example providing after-school care for children so mothers don’t need to worry about them, giving job training, offering food, teaching literacy, teaching financial skills and matching money put in a bank account for a house, offering jobs to those who have passed the training . . . but it’s grueling, thankless stuff. And many people within the system are used to it and don’t really even want to do the work to get out, and many others are past the point they easily can. A year or so before the last crash, I edited a book that was talking about ministries in Chicago, and one of them was matching money that residents saved for a down payment, up to $750 or something like that. And I thought “Huh? A $1,500 down payment is nothing!” The houses in the inn-city neighborhood where I rented in Chicago were $150,000 or so, in a dangerous neighborhood, a hundred years old or so now, taxes probably $5,000 a year. If a person can come up with only $750 after months of saving, they don’t have the financial means to own a home. And honestly, there are reasons I rented in Chicago rather than buying–it was cheaper. (When you can rent for the cost of property taxes, there is no financial reason to buy, and to have to worry about maintenance and so forth. You simply are not even getting ahead on equity if your property taxes are equivalent to rent.) Well, that book chapter bragged that they had helped 70 people buy homes and only two foreclosures, or something like that . . . but a year later we had the market crash, and I thought probably most of the rest lost their homes then.
See, a community must be self-sustaining. If you only exist because of regular infusions of cash from outside, it kills you. Likewise, if fathers in the community are not caring for their children, but are letting government do so, men who are not protectors of the weak become dangers to the weak. One of the things that was starkly real to me in living in the inner city was that it was American weakness writ large. Black America had a 70% illegitimacy rate (and I noticed that virtually everyone I knew had had child #1 out of wedlock, so my personal estimate was that 90% of firstborns were out of wedlock), and that is an unsustainable figure. You cannot have a healthy community if most of your households are singles and single-parent households. It isn’t possible. The nation as a whole is heading toward those numbers. We aren’t there yet, but we’re heading there. Well, a mother with a professional-level job who can afford daycare is insulated a bit. She isn’t as hindered by having a child or two; she can afford it financially. But it’s a difference of degree and not kind; it is still radically unhealthy for a community to function without fathers. And we may not be as dependent as inner-city Americans, but the vast majority of us are radically dependent on others in ways our ancestors never dreamed of. What would happen, for instance, if our access to grocery stores were cut off? Yes, we pay for the food and don’t get food stamps, but we are still dependent on others outside our immediate area, and we can easily have that cut off.
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Chas, I’ve probably told this story before, but for 20 years and more it has haunted me and I have wished I said something.
One day I was waiting at the bus stop in Chicago. Chicago has very weird social rules, and one of them was that you don’t talk to other people waiting at bus stops. Through trial and error I learned the work-around on that rule: There were at least two questions that were socially permissible at a bus stop: “What time is it?” and “Where does this bus go/ Does this bus stop at _____?” Sometimes you might wait at a bus stop for 45 minutes, and when a bus would finally come it would be three of them, the first two packed to the gills, the third one still with some room. So for 45 minutes you’re standing there, not making eye contact, not making chitchat. I learned that it was socially acceptable to ask “What time is it?” and then it was socially acceptable for the other person to say, “I’m not sure” but two minutes later, since you spoke first, they could say, “Hey, did you see the Cubs game?” By asking the question, you are giving them permission to talk . . . if they want to. You can only ask the “What time is it?” question, but you’ve at least established that they can talk if they want to. And if you don’t ask that question in the first four or five minutes, it’s awkward to ask it 30 minutes in. Ask it early and it’s less awkward to stand there if the bus takes forever to get there. But know also that if the two of you get chatting, there is a very good chance you will eventually get dirty looks from other people who are waiting. You really are supposed to wait silently, or talk only briefly and quietly with whoever you are traveling with.
So, one day I was standing and waiting, and so was a mother and her two little children. They might have been four and five, or three and five, or five and six. I don’t really remember, except there were two of them and they were barely school age or not yet. And they were bickering, as kids do, especially when they’re bored. And their mother kept speaking to them, “Shut up, knock it off.” And then the knock-out punch: “I wish you had never been born.” And know what happened? It worked. It might have been 20 minutes more before that bus came, and those two little ones said not one word. On the bus ride itself, they were silent.
I didn’t know them. The social rule said not to talk to them. I couldn’t say anything that would help, and what do you say to the mom in front of the children, anyway? So I said nothing. But I knew by their silence that they heard her loud and clear, and I knew by their silence that they too would remember that moment the rest of their lives.
And I wish today that I had come up with something to say to that mother or that family. But even as I wish it, I know it wouldn’t have helped. It might have led to anger and violence, I don’t know. But her words were about the starkest violence I have ever seen, and I know her children still hear them.
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I saw the same author Michelle mentioned on another program, I thought he had some good light to share on the election and some of the forces behind Trump’s win.
These are difficult post-election times for many, a few around me at work vacillate between being sad and (really) mad. I am consciously keeping quiet whenever politics comes up in the workplace discussion.
I think of it in terms of how many have nothing bigger in which to trust than the political system, the wins and losses, whether or not their people are elected and in charge. It really can become almost like a religion, it’s the biggest factor there is in terms of their hopes, dreams and feelings of well being. It’s a very big deal. 😦 Add to that the fact that we have had 8 years of a president they adored — and whose rise to power was seen as a final repudiation of everything they viewed as awful in this country — and they end up feeling quite depressed.
For young (liberal) people, it’s especially been a shock, I think. The Obama victories were such a hopeful landmark in their minds, one that would not — or even could not — be reversed ever again with a conservative win (even though Trump isn’t really a conservative and I anticipate he’ll govern primarily as a pragmatic independent and will be at war sometimes with the GOP in Congress while giving liberals some comfort).
As for the press, it will be interesting to see whether this brings any changes, but I rather doubt it. I think the die has been cast there for a long time now. As Hillary once said, that all is pretty much “baked in” at this stage, undoing what is an inherent, strong (and unapologetic) liberal tilt isn’t too likely to happen.
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I missed the video but it almost sounded like a hoax?
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Not a hoax Donna. You can’t train a five year old to act like that for that length of time.
The kid was terrified.
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Whomever was filming also was culpable, then. The photographer should have stepped in.
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Chas, my husband asked was it definite it was about voting for Trump? That is, is it possible that someone filmed the footage about something else but then just added a “motive”? I told him I didn’t see it, but it sounded like they had filmed the mother’s words at that time. (It almost doesn’t matter, really . . . except that someone thought that it “worked” for a political statement and added that.)
My hunch on the reason that the person filming it didn’t intercede might be that they thought it funny, but it might also be that they needed evidence. If you called to report your neighbor for child abuse a couple of times, and the authorities followed up but never did anything, video evidence just might be enough for them to intervene.
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I purposely didn’t want the video. I could tell from the comments what had happened and yesterday I was too tired and emotional to deal with it. Reading Chas’ comment I know I made the right decision. Anything that would drive an 86 years old Christian, Southern, Gentleman to call a woman, ANY woman a bitch….I was shocked. Not shocked because I have never heard it, but shocked that he did. THAT should let us know how bad it was.
The children’s saying about “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never heart me” is a big fat LIE. Words last. The memory comes back out of no where. My mother told me she wished I had never been born. She told me that my father didn’t want me. Later, he told me that by the time he figured out something was wrong with her and wished he hadn’t married her she was already pregnant with me and he couldn’t take the risk of leaving any child of his with her. He stayed 19 more years and proved himself to be the best daddy in the world.
Deep breath…I am glad I didn’t want the video. Yesterday I couldn’t have handled it and today it has been taken down so I don’t have to.
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Kim, that was my take too, that Chas wouldn’t lightly say such a thing.
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I was saying the kid would say that about his mother.
I see on another thread that they say the kid wasn’t five. I had to go on all that I knew. I do know that trauma like that can ruing a life, regardless of age.
I may have told this before. Just a short comment in passing. Another black mother, but anyone could have done it. Years ago:
I happened to be passing by in a grocery store. I didn’t see what happened, but I heard a woman say. “Stop!. Put that down. You won’t never be nothing”.
You won’t never be nothing!
Partly because of you. guy’s probably in jail now and the mother doesn’t know why.
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Chas, we understand the context. But we also know you wouldn’t lightly say it.
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Cheryl. No I wouldn’t. It kept me awake about an hour last night, I was so agitated.
The point I’m trying to make here is that children soak up what they hear adults say about them. It helps form who they are.
I told you before that I had a high school English teacher who thought I was smart and that I would amount to something someday. She wrote a nice note about a poem I wrote.
She was wrong, of course, but it meant a lot to this worthless teenager at the time.
We always said positive things around Chuck and the girls. e.g. “That Mary is a smart kid.”
“Jenn is such a cute kid.” “They all have pretty hair.” Things like that. None of which was a lie.
Never, ever call a kid worthless, stupid or dumb.
I’ll bet Mumsee sees repercussions of that every day.
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Yep.
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Well, I’ve never taken the expert advice to cook a month’s worth of meals in a single day–it’s not really my style. But I have realized that a lot of things freeze really well, and a lot of things can tire a family of eating before they eat it all up, so I’ve started serving things for a meal, then as leftovers, and then I either eat the additional leftovers or freeze them, rather than making my family eat them again. (Two servings is nearly always my family’s limit, no matter how much they like something.)
So, this week I have pulled out of the freezer, heated, and served: sliced ham, taco-seasoned hamburger meat, and (tonight) pork ribs. I have multiple servings of split-pea soup frozen in individual portion sizes, and another serving of taco meat, and probably one or two other easy meals like that. I think that once we defrost our freezer (which we do need to do), I will get more intentional about the meals-in-advance planning. When I bake potatoes, I always cook several, and then have them ready just to heat one at a time. When I bake cookies, I leave them out for a couple of days but I freeze some of them and bring them out in a couple of weeks when they are “freshly baked” all over again.
It is nice to know I can make pork ribs tonight just by heating them, not by hours and hours of cooking . . .
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I’m feeling depleted. Can I. One over and rifle through your freezer looking for dinner?:-)
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Michelle, right now you’ll find more pies and raw meat than anything else. 🙂 There is a lot of split-pea soup, but see, I can only make that when my husband is out of the house longer than usual–he cannot stand any hint of peas. So generally I only make it if he is out of town, and only reheat it if he is away for the evening (church meeting). Eight or ten servings need to last me a while.
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Blessed is the peas maker.
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That was painful.
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hahahahaha
I crack myself up sometimes
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I had a friend once who put all of the leftover vegetables from each meal in the freezer (I think in something like a plastic one gallon ice cream container. When she got ready to make vegetable soup she used that.
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Kim, my mom often took the leftovers from the week, threw them together in a pot, and made soup. We learned that mac and cheese worked well with tomato soup, but she would throw stuff together regardless and sometimes it was pretty hideous. And since we had boiled potatoes at just about every dinner meal, those soups probably usually had some potatoes. Actually, she often fried the potatoes, and potatoes fried in bacon fat are pretty tasty.
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We never did that at home but when I was in the Scouts, on camping trips we kept the left overs and for the last meal, we chunked everything in and made what we called Hunter’s Stew. Sometimes it was very good.
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We had stir fry for dinner–similar concept. 🙂
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Chas/Kim/et al: As you know, my mom was/is an alcoholic. She would go into drunken rages quite frequently….and I heard her tell me at least a 100 times that she wished I’d never been born; how I’d ruined her life; that I was destined for hell, etc. I’ve been in therapy on and off for almost thirty years to “get over” those hurtful words….Tell a kid something often enough and he/she will absorb it into the core of their being. It is very hard to repair ones self-concept….. I pray for that little boy.
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In my own parenting, I’ve been extremely careful with my words–knowing the power they hold. I’ve also tried to convey to both my girls that my love for them is unconditional –something I didn’t experience .
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Ann, prayers, I can’t even imagine. 😦
🙂 Amazing sermon today followed by a good adult SS discussion and, after that, our informal “women’s gab” that went on for some time. 🙂
🙂 Cleaning out my kitchen pantry cupboards. It was (beyond) time. More room now to keep the counter space clear.
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I made a conscious decision when BG was born to tell her daily I loved her, sometimes more than once. Now she isn’t living with me but I randomly text “Nub nou boo bunny” I receive “nub nou too”. It rhymes. When ever I am with her I make sure to kiss her on her head and tell her I love her when we separate. She was desperately wanted and no matter what I don’t ever want her to think she isn’t loved.
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Kim, when I was 20, a roommate pointed out that “olive juice” looks the same as “I love you” when you’re lip-reading. So sometimes you’d look across a crowded room (say at church) and see her saying what you knew to be “olive juice,” but which indeed did look like “I love you.” 🙂
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Cheryl, I like it.
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