52 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 10-21-16”

  1. Morning all. Aj is either up early or late.
    I am glad that the weekend is here. Still working on the book order. I did find a couple of good books on animals with pictures to give to some PNG children. It is interesting to look through the whole order and think what would you give a child who has no books. What would be fascinating to them.

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  6. Good morning from downtown Atlanta! I spent the night with Karen at the hospital. The last time I stayed overnight in downtown was at Peachtree Plaza for my wedding night/beginning of honeymoon.
    That is the same place Karen and her husband spent their wedding night. We have so many similarities except for politics.

    Karen has pain, and her beat is a bit out of rhythm so hopefully it will settle with the healing process.

    I got here late and had to use the ER entrance. It required quite a walking tour to get to Karen’s room. It was almost eerily empty of people down in the giant lobby area that I have only been in during busy office hours. It was the perfect situation for me to find my way around without being distracted by the crowds. The security person in the ER area took my picture and made a sticker for me to wear. This is all part of Emory Healthcare.

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  7. The kitty in the header is our most recent wanderer who gets Miss
    Bosley’ s tossed out leftovers. It wears a pink collar, so in the world we live in, who knows what that means? This is a very sweet kitty, and much taller than Miss Bosley.

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  8. She looks a little like Moe…who barely tolerates me and the feeling is somewhat mutual except for this morning around 2 or 3. She got in the bed, head butted me, purred, demanded to be petted, was generally a cat. Just as I started dozing I heard Lulabelle whining. I also heard her collar rattle which meant she was up. I found her staring at the back door, so I took that to mean she needed out. I may have gotten back to sleep around 4.
    Amos? Amos could sleep through almost anything when he is tucked in.

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  10. This is one of those “How God uses something….” stories.
    Once upon I was a fresh faced, starry eyed, new wife, Princess. As with any fairy tale we need an Evil Sister in Law. G and I were married on September 1. We had been told we could live in his parents house on the river for a year and that is where I had all my wedding presents and had move all of my stuff. By the time we returned from our honeymoon Evil SIL had turned the world upside down. She had decided to have another baby but needed more room than where she currently lived. The decision was made that ESIL and her husband and son would move into the “big house” in town, my mother and father in law would move to their river house, and the Newlyweds could move into the “cottage”. Back then I didn’t shift well. ESIL also decided that rather than move furniture she would just move into her parents house as it was and leave all of her tacky furniture for us. I was again NOT HAPPY.
    G had been let go from his job a month before our wedding so our first year of marriage was a struggle financially as well. I was working for about $5 an hour in a department store in town, and ESIL who by now was pregnant would come in to pick out everything she wanted her “Bubba” to buy her for Christmas. She was after all the Princess Royal and I was simply a princess. Any time I said anything to my husband about what was going on, I was told to grow up this was real life. (You do remember that he is 8 years older than I am).
    Eventually my niece and goddaughter was born….they first baby I ever fell in love with. ESIL would walk over to the cottage as much as possible to sigh and say that her cousin wanted to buy the cottage and it sure would help them out financially if they could get rid of that payment. This went on to the point that I went home to my father. After a discussion I went home to my husband and told him that I was moving back home and he was welcome to come with me — or not– his choice. He chose wisely. In that year my dad was quite happy. He had a cook, housekeeper, and yardman. G and I were able to save enough to buy our first house. Eventually ESIL simply became Sister in Law and life moved forward.

    Three weeks ago I attended a wedding that was every little girl’s dream wedding. I work with the groom. There had been some banter back and forth in the office about how everything changed after you were married. He informed us that they had lived together for 18 months he thought they knew what they were doing. We informed him that NOPE, no you don’t. Monday when I was in the office late, he received a call. From his end of the conversation I could tell something was wrong. He started packing up his stuff to go home and told Guy and me he had to go deal with (his new wife) and his lying sister. A day or so later something else was said. I had to be in the office yesterday, so I told him when he had a few minutes I wanted to talk to him about something.
    T told him I had picked up on some things and I was fully aware they were not ANY of my business. I told him I was I told him the above story. I used the analogy of the two princesses above and how one felt threatened by the other and how hard it was. I ended the story with “she is now your wife and you always take her side. She needs you to be on her side.” He thanked me for caring enough about L ( his wife) and that he was definitely taking her side. Hopefully I have helped a young married couple and made my sour grapes into something better.
    Today I still get my hair done by ex SIL and my nephew and niece are as perfect as any nephew and niece could be and they love their cousin and I can look back on what was for me the shattering of a fairy tale and put a positive spin on it. You just never know when something that happened to you will be useful.

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  11. The cartoons are so real they aren’t funny. Especially the one where World Chaos wants to sit in the leadership seat. I see where the Russians are sending their northern fleet into the Med. They will enjoy wintering off the coast of Israel.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I made a similar decision long ago as well. I have an extremely political relative who is about as different from me as night from day. When she got pregnant with my nephew, I realized I was only seeing her through a stereotyped lens. For the sake of my family and that baby, I needed to simply love her.

    So, for the last 27 years, I have focused on what we have in common: our family, reading, stories and laughter. I love her dearly, still completely disagree with her (we agreed to not discuss abortion and that helped), and enjoy her company.

    Sometimes I guess we do have to grow up! 🙂

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  13. I’m back at a computer screen for the first time since last weekend. Retreat was fantastic, weather gorgeous, consort husband lots of fun and I returned with a long list of things to think about and do.

    I’ll find my notes eventually! 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  14. Welcome back Michelle.

    Jo, that sounds like a monster book order you’ve had to organize. Probably not all that fun?

    That’s a very contented looking cat in the header.

    Good job, Kim. 🙂

    I sat in yesterday on one of our editorial board interviews with a candidate — had to go to one of our sister papers where there was a major shortage of parking (tattoo parlor people apparently steal some of their places in the surface lot where, I was warned by one of the reporters, to look out for needles — as in ‘those’ kind of needles; I kept thinking pine needles because my city-provided tree still looks like it’s dying although I throw a full bucket of bathtub-drip water on it daily).

    Anyway, today is the interview with the other candidate, our congresswoman who’s wanting to get onto the county board (which is where she’s always wanted to be, but it took a while for the incumbent to be termed out).

    So I’ll be working there through noon or 1 p.m., maybe I’ll just stay there to work all day, it’s actually closer to where I live, just over the bridge.

    I rarely even read our editorials (reporters sit in on these meetings mainly to take notes for future stories & to ask a question or two). The guy we interviewed yesterday said we made a mistake by not endorsing him in the primary. 🙂 Good interview, it’s shaping up to be a tight race (and is one of 2 I will have to write about before Nov. 8).

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  15. And because I know you’re all dying to know …

    The bathroom-and-window update.

    The lead people come next Wednesday, I guess any house getting new windows or doors that was built before 1979 or so has to get tested for lead — only meaning that if it’s present (which it will be), the installers know to lay down tarps. Sheesh. And I paid for the test, but I’m wondering why they don’t just lay down tarps anyway.

    Meanwhile, I received the 3-light sconce that will go over the medicine cabinet and it’s the coolest, cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I’m in love with it. It’s going to look so cute. 🙂

    The black accent tile for the shower has come in and I still have to pick that up — maybe order extra in case a decision is made to do 2 narrow, parallel lines through the white subway tile instead of just the one I originally planned?

    I still have to order beadboard (which appears to be very cheap, thankfully) but now that things are a little bit on hold pending the window delivery, which will take a few weeks, the pressure for that is somewhat relieved.

    Janice, so glad you were able to be with your friend, you’re probably ready to take a nap in your own bed.

    Carol’s getting out of her dreaded rehab today, although they did finally move her to a different room and she suddenly had a mood change, she’s sounded almost perky in the past couple days.

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  16. It turns out that the floaters I see in my right eye were probably already there, but obscured by the cataract. The doctor said they may break up & go away in time. I am getting used to them, & can ignore them pretty much. Every now & then, I think I see a little bug flying in front of me. Nope, just a floater. 🙂

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  17. Adding to what Roscuro wrote yesterday, about not looking for a political solution to the abortion issue. . .

    “The biggest myth sold to the pro-life movement is that Republican presidents appointing Conservative justices are crucial in the fight against abortion. And yet, both Roe vs. Wade AND Planned Parenthood vs. Casey were decided with a conservative majority. Not only that, but over the last 45 years, we’ve had 9 Republican House majorities, 10 Senate majorities, and 5 Republican Presidents, none of which have been successful in ending abortion. Furthermore, time, after time, after time, after time, after time, after time, after time, after time, legislation restricting abortion was either found unconstitutional or failed to make it to law.”

    (The “time after time, after time”, etc. were links to examples of what he was referring to.)

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/themackerelsnapper/2016/09/06/im-prolife-and-i-dont-care-about-the-supreme-court/

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  18. Families. I have a dad and step mom, two brothers, two sister in laws, three nieces, six nephews. My mom and sister died years ago. We all get along fine. We learned early that we all had differences and we all loved my dad and brothers and that was good enough.

    Husband, on the other hand, has a dad and stepmom, one brother, one sister, two nieces, one nephew, one sister in law. There is always friction. They are still fighting over jewelry and money from when their mom died fifteen years ago. Well, the sister in law is. At the wedding, she was accusing the sister of going through sil’s suitcase. SIL got thrown out of the hotel room she had paid for by sil, with dad and stepmom’s support. Bizarre. I keep telling sister to just let it go. It appears the sil is an alcoholic and though he just retired as a colonel in the Army, they have financial problems. And in a bit over a week, they are all going on a cruise to the Bahamas together. SIL is paying for husband’s flight and cruise. It is in celebration of their dad’s ninetieth. I keep trying to remind them, let it go. This is about your dad. Drama. It is why I do not do Facebook.

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  19. Looks like one of my neighbors is getting fake grass put in 🙂 I’ve thought about doing that, but … Still hoping we get a normal rain year and I can throw some grass seed out that’ll “take.”

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Any home built before 1978 has to have a lead based paint disclosure.
    Just be glad it was built before and the addition was after asbestos. I should have thought to warn you.

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  22. Neighbor told me the original kitchen in here was like a narrow little galley-way. I can’t even imagine as the house would have been 1/3 smaller without the added kitchen area (and it’s still a small house now).

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  24. From “World” on-line:
    OUR EARLIER REPORT: Backlash over InverVarsity Christian Fellowship’s theological summary of human sexuality has put its publishing arm, InterVarsity Press (IVP), at odds with the Society of Biblical Literature (SBL), which temporarily banned the publisher from selling books at its annual meeting. In a letter to IVP, the society said it would “discuss concerns” about InterVarsity’s stance later this month.

    Let me get this straight. SBL is boycotting IVCF books because they believe that men should marry women and women should marry men?
    Is that what it’s about?

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  25. In the above rant, I neglected to copy the issue this is about. It’s a long article and I missed that.. .
    But my reaction captures it.

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  28. I’m back from my walk, looking at the mountain of laundry and the empty refrigerator (I sailed right past the grocery store, planning to stop in and get a few items), the list of things to do and the realization I have to go to work at 3 for a couple hours and now Adorables are coming over to watch a movie tonight and I think I’m going to plunk myself down in the recliner and read for awhile.

    I’m a little tired.

    A new house cleaner is coming tomorrow, which is great, but she’s 15 and that means I have to train her, which is not so great.

    But, when I think about Paul and Linda, I’m reminded that I have much to be thankful for.

    And I can sit and read for an hour and try to regroup before tackling the list while the washing machine and it’s appliance friends do some of the work.

    Thanks be to God.

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  30. Lest I get too uppity and big for my britches, the world has a way of reminding me. Does there come a time when children don’t do their best to stomp your heart to pieces?

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  34. Kim, speaking as a daughter who considers her mother her best friend, yes. I won’t say I haven’t hurt my mother’s feelings and she hasn’t hurt mine. We both sometimes operate out of fleshly impulses; but we both know nothing can shake our love and trust for one another. So we apologize to each other and carry on being friends. I think that every child hurts their mother, and/or father, somewhere, often without intending to. I’ve seen how each of my siblings, as they adjust to married life, push my parents away in ways that have hurt their feelings, but my parents are remarkably resilient and have refused to let those hurts permanently influence the relationship. It can be difficult trying to live your life the way you see fit and having your parents’ expectations be much different. I run into that more with my father, who at various times, has balked at what I’m doing.

    In each case, he initially gives his approval, but then get overwhelmed at the seemingly insurmountable odds I’m facing and tries to persuade me to back down and play it safe. We can get quite heated over that, and have dealt some wounds to each other. The trouble is, we think so much alike that we know how to make our words sting and we both have the same kind of temper that lashes out with verbal barbs [I may look more like my mother’s side of the family, but my memory and ways of reasoning come from my father]. Yet, his care and material support have never faltered despite his misgivings. Even though he got cold feet about me going to West Africa, he still drove me to the airport and he was there to wheel my wheelchair to the car when I came home again.

    His reactions are merely out of an effort to protect me. My mother realized early on that she could not always protect us and so she gave each of us, as we were born, into God’s hands for safekeeping (she began to do that with her eldest, when she began loosing too much sleep checking her baby every time my eldest sibling breathed differently or made a sound). When we were teens, she began to back off on decision making and let us think for ourselves. We were strong willed children to begin with (according to an observation made by a relative) and she had already taken care to direct those wills to right things, so she let us figure it out ourselves. So all of us became very independent thinkers, despite the ultra-conservative material from ATI which taught daughters should submit to parents until they marry. I have discovered, slowly, that my father shares the same opinions as my mother regarding his daughters’ autonomy – it is just that his default setting is to shelter his little girls. Given time and space, he will override the default.

    I have observed that as a general rule, the Christian community are good with the idea of letting sons grow up and make decisions, but they tend to assume girls will be with the family until marriage. My second and youngest siblings and I noticed that. For eleven years after my eldest sibling was married, we three were single (granted, youngest and I were too young for marriage when eldest got married, but within a few years we weren’t too young anymore). We constantly found ourselves referred to as “the young people” even though we ranged from early thirties to mid twenties by the time youngest sibling got married (yes, she was the first of the three to marry), and it was frustrating. It really wasn’t until youngest sibling got engaged, that second and I really began to be treated as adults rather than ‘young people’. The people in the church knew we were older than youngest and seeing that she was old enough to be married emphasized that fact that we were adults. We were suddenly handed responsibilities – second sibling became treasurer, while I was commissioned to go to the mission field – that we didn’t even know we could have. So, to all parents of unmarried daughters, if she is eighteen or over, she is much an adult as her male peers and need as much space and autonomy as men of that age get. Yes, she will need support, but she is in more danger of being smothered than overexposed, at least in my experience.

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  35. Roscuro, we have two in the first half of the twenties, one married (who lived at home between college and marriage) and one unmarried and currently still at home. In the last year, as one prepared to marry and one prepared to be the only one still at home, I saw great strides into greater maturity in both. I think we have actually treated them as adult members of the household more than they have acted like it, though we have had the blessing of seeing that greater maturity in the last year, and I think it’s safe to say we now have two actual adult daughters.

    There is a real difference in daughters and sons, though. One of our daughters is a real night owl, and sometimes at 1:00 in the morning if I am still up, she’ll pop her head in to tell me she is driving into town. It’s when I’m glad we live in a small town, because after they graduated from high school we gave them full freedom to come and go as they pleased (by their senior year we usually gave them permission, but a time to be home) . . . but it occurs to me it actually isn’t necessarily the safest thing for a pretty young woman to be coming and going in the middle of the night. I’m sure she does such coming and going on other nights when I am not up to be informed. If we lived in a big city I’d be worried about her, and if I were her father and not her mother I might be inclined to encourage her not to do it.

    Through the years I have known a number of single women who either lived with their parents the parents’ entire life or they moved away for a few years and then moved back for the rest of their life. I currently know a 50-year-old and a woman in her mid-forties who live with their widowed moms, but I know two other women who lived with their parents until both parents died, and then they continued to live in the parental home. To me, such situations are a mutual benefit: the daughter can give a little bit of money to offset her living expenses, and as she moves further into her career possibly to cover a larger portion of the actual household expenses and not just the difference in cost of whether she lives there or doesn’t. In return, she has some level of safety, and if her father is alive, probably someone who can check out that funny noise in her car or come get her if her car breaks down. If a man courts her, she has her father’s input and some protection, should she choose to take advantage of it (as our daughter wisely did). The daughter, in return, pays less for her living expenses and has the presence of parents as friends and counselors, which is much better (if the relationship is good) than the irresponsible roommates she might get or when living alone. I think a multi-generational household is probably a healthier pattern than our nuclear-family model, and certainly better than our “move out at 18 and do what you want” model. So I think that when parents and daughters are mutually willing to stay together, it’s a good thing. It probably is so for sons as well; that just is outside my expertise because all of my brothers were out of the house by 18 at the latest and I don’t have any sons. But it’s true especially for daughters that the parental protection is good and they can in return be nurturers in their parents’ old age, if they stay single and choose to stay.

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  37. That isn’t the problem. She refuses to come to my house. She didn’t work today and wanted to do something with me. I have explained that I work Monday through Friday 8 am until at least 5. She is off tonight but she has plans.
    I am tired of living two separate lives.

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  39. Cheryl, my observations of how young women can be kept back by the attitudes of Christians had little to do with living arrangements. All three of us were living at home, and either working or going to school. We were well respected by our employers – at one time, the three of us ran a resort dining room that served up to 200 people with only casual help from elderly volunteers – and as for helping out at home, when my sisters got married and I kept going away for various reasons, my mother found it a challenge to resume full baking and cooking routines, since we had done so much of it (not to mention cleaning, sewing, laundry, and gardening). But in the eyes of our older brothers and sisters in Christ, we were immature and were humoured as youth rather than listened to as adults. I live with my parents when it is expedient, for all of us, to do so, but I go away because in the very rural setting there is little opportunity to do the tasks I have in life. As an introvert, I am always aware that it is too comfortable at home, and I only dare stay as long as God gives me to rest. As all of you have now witnessed several times, I move very rapidly from waiting at home to adventuring on my own and back again, and that has been the story of my life since about 19. Even now, the difference in the way the church I attend in the city regards my input and the way the small church where my family goes regards it shows that I’m still not quite an equal in the small church – there’s a couple of older people there who still don’t seem to grasp that an unmarried woman in her early thirties can be listened to on an equal footing, while the city church (I attended there when I was in the same city several years ago) has always treated me as a grown woman of equal worth.

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  40. Michelle, I’m not sure if you meant to post that on the political thread, but I would say, as an impartial observer, I am astounded by the abuse World has received for calling on Trump to receive from their own subscribers who are the only ones who can comment on their articles now. It seems that to regard Trump as unfit for opposite does not only mean one is covertly supporting Clinton, but also opposing oneself to Jesus Christ and working to bring on the New World Order. I also get the FB feed from several prominent conservative Christian leaders and the comments virulently criticizing Dr. Mohler and Russell Moore are only slightly less troubling than the near blasphemous Biblical analogies in the links shared by Eric Metaxas, who seems to have become unbalanced since deciding to support Trump. The Bible figures that Trump has been favorably compared to passes belief – one recent link Metaxas shared tried to justify Trump’s vile boasts about groping women by comparing him to Samson, essentially saying that Trump was called the way Samson had been and could triumph despite his moral failings just like Samson, apparently not considering the cost of Samson’s ultimate triumph. However, Eric’s links aren’t even as bad as his followers comments – they have actually said that Trump is like Jesus Christ, and I’m not exaggerating, I actually read that. I’m stunned by the misuse and mangling of Scripture that has been coming out of Trump’s camp. If this is a picture of the way the evangelical church confuses politics with faith, then the church is rotten to the core.

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  43. Yes, Donna, the book order can be overwhelming. I am getting very little credit this year. So, as I have spent hours this week working on it, I have consciously told myself that this is a gift of my time and effort to all the families. Someone came by while I was working at the table in the staff room this week and said that it must be fun to be Santa for everyone. Struggling to make sure that I have a good attitude, and lots of chocolate!! 🙂 Now off to find an error that I couldn’t find last night.

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  44. So I’m still one of the ‘young people’? 🙂 🙂

    Candidate interview and 2 stories, busy day. And I’m kind of done early, but hanging out at the sister paper in case something else happens

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  46. Roscuro, when I was 15 my family was attending church with literally no teenagers except my younger sister and a boy her same age. My “best friend” was 30. At the time I made a mental note that 30 was the perfect age–old enough to be fully adult, but still young.

    What I discovered when I turned 30 is that you’re always “really young” to somebody. It’s possible that married women experience less of that, I don’t know. It’s a temptation to see a married 19-year-old as “playing house.” Since so many 20-somethings are actively resisting marriage (not just “haven’t found someone yet”), there is a sense in which a married 20-something may be more mature (on average) than one who is not–and I know from watching my daughter that the preparation for marriage can bring maturity to a woman. I also know from my own life experience that an unmarried woman can have plenty of her own maturing responsibilities.

    When I was single into my forties, it used to gall me just a little bit to hear someone tell a newlywed, “So you’re a married woman now!” The implication was not just that she was now married, but that being married made her a woman, and that is of course silly. Now, I do think people can choose against marriage because of selfishness and immaturity, but people can choose against it for other reasons, and many singles haven’t “chosen” at all. I know mature singles and immature married folks.

    All that to say, there are always going to be some who look at you and think “She’s young” and others judge you for other things. I’ve made an effort not to care when people are judging on petty things. Be an adult, take the responsibilities that come your way, live as a Christian woman, live with your parents if they continue to welcome you and you want to, and others’ opinions are irrelevant.

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  48. Roscuro & Cheryl – Once, while in my mid-40s (& would have considered anyone in their 30s or younger as young), a friend in her 60s, Marie, referred to myself & another mid-40s woman as “girls”. I thought that was funny, & then she said that a lady we both knew, in her 80s, referred to Marie as young. 🙂

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  49. Cheryl, I knew I wasn’t young anymore when people started asking if I was old enough for senior discount.
    If they asked my age, I always told them If they just said “Senior?” I always said yes. To say anything else just adds confusion and holds up the line.
    Those of you entering that stage need to be aware of this. The exchange can add 5-10 seconds to the transaction.

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  50. Chas, I too am surprised at how IVCF has come under attack. I think the trigger was a policy statement they issued recently, saying that any of their staff who would not subscribe to their position on homosexuality should resign.

    I have been urged on Facebook by Christian friends, IVCF alums themselves, to withdraw all support for IVCF because of this. These friends make false equivalences: IVCF staff not being allowed to support homosexuality somehow makes IVCF as bad as Westboro Baptist. Good is evil and evil is good. Very disturbing.

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  51. You know you’re old when they no longer ask for a qualifying ID when you’re getting the “senior” discount tickets. 🙂

    But i do still remember being asked by a pet store clerk, who was about 16 years old, whether I wanted their 55+ discount (I was 54, NOT 55). I gave him “a look” and said “Noo.”

    He apologized profusely, said they were forced to ask, yada yada yada.

    Of course, 55 sounds *young* to me now. 🙂

    It’s all relative

    Just walked the dogs, we had a smidgen of daylight left since my commute home was a little shorter than usual.

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