51 thoughts on “Our Daily Thread 11-30-12”

  5. You may be wondering what I am doing up at midnight. Me too. But daughter just got back from her basketball game and tripped over a chair on her way to her room so I am awake. She is usually very quiet.

    You may not be wondering that at all.

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  7. Good morning. Happy Birthday to Cheryl! Today is also my niece’s birthday (15th). This is the same niece with whom, along with her mom, 2nd Arrow lives.

    Mumsee: You may be wondering what I am doing up at midnight. I was wondering if there was another ER visit (and hoping not). Glad to know there was not.

    I think I woke up around midnight, too, although I didn’t look at the clock. I had gone to bed maybe a little after 11:00, but woke when I heard my husband get home from work with a bunch of groceries. I was still mostly asleep when I heard the running feet of a little boy, 5th Arrow, as he ran up the stairs from his bedroom, immediately fully awake, to greet his dad with an exuberant “Well, hello there!” He adores his dad (so do I, but my grogginess kept me from getting out of bed), and I fell back to sleep to the happy sound of some male bonding at midnight or whenever it was as they worked together getting groceries out of the bags/into the refrigerator.

    Tychicus’ questions: It’s been a blessing that it’s been so long since I’ve felt lonely. I’m surrounded by so many delightful people all the time, that I just don’t experience loneliness anymore. It’s more a matter of trying to look for a little bit of solitude sometimes!

    I did feel lonely quite a bit growing up. I was shy for a long time and didn’t make friends easily, so school was a rather lonely place for the most part. I got better at making friends in high school, but those were the years when I started to feel rather lonely at home. I have 4 siblings, and it seems like they and my parents each had a special bond with one of the others (a pairing off, of sorts). My brother, being the only boy, was quite close to my dad (and still is). One of my sisters was very close to my mom, and my other two sisters were close to each other. So I didn’t feel any strong connection to anyone in my family in my teen years. We all got along for the most part, but most of the time in those years, I felt like I was on the outside looking in on my family.

    So to answer the questions:

    😉

    I’d say I feel the most lonely when I feel like I don’t have a connection to people, even though I may be surrounded by them. I feel least lonely when I’m working with people to achieve a common goal. Having a shared vision and working as a team with those one is around is one of the best ways to combat loneliness, in my opinion, and is one reason I gravitated toward homeschooling. The opportunities for family togetherness and team-building are a great blessing, and have done so much to enrich my life.

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  11. I’m sure Mumsee is not the kind of person who would start a rumour just because she was wide awake at midningt.
    Would she?
    Well???????????????
    Maybe so.

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  12. Good morning, Chas. Mumsee is referring to The Real AJ’s wife Cheryl, whose birthday is today. (See AJ’s brief Our Daily Thread post.) 😉

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  13. Well Happy Birthday to The Real’s Cheryl.
    Most Lonely? It is possible to be your loneliest in a room full of people and to be the least lonely all by yourself. It is like 6Arrows said, it is all about connections. I was an extremely lonely child. but I had an active imagination (I still do so it is a shame I am not a writer). I have been alone and lonely as an adult but as I “grow into my skin” more and more, I find myself OK with who I am. I am Kim. Take me or leave me–Your choice.
    I loved it this summer when a friend told me that I may just be the most self-actualized person they had ever known. It was a long road.

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  14. Good Morning, and Happy Birthday to the Real’s Cheryl!

    It’s the end of the work week, and the end of December, all in the same day. Seems like a good day to wrap things up and prepare for the ‘weekend’ of months…December!

    This is our first year with the children completely out of the house. One is married, and one is in the Army. We are also looking at moving in early January. I love having a little Christmas tree, and enjoying the lights, the baking, the wrapping of pretty little gifts… But it’s REALLY different living so far away from our children.

    We are in that phase (not in our 50’s yet, empty nesters, hubby semi-retired) where we are re-inventing ourselves. Everything feel new, a little disorienting and unsettled. It’s exciting, unfamiliar, and at times a bit daunting. Mainly, it’s exciting.

    Wishing you each a great day.

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  15. Chas really has a red face.
    I thought I would check in while Elvera was getting ready and didn’t read AJ’s headline because I knew he was on vacation. So I thought it was our Cheryl everyone was talking about.
    It is Friday, you know. Y is done, now Lions. I’m behind schedule.

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  16. Chas, I’m red-faced, too. I was wondering where you had disappeared to, and I was thinking, Well, he’s not at the Y, because today is Thursday. 🙂

    See what sleep deprivation does to a person? 😉

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  17. Good morning all. And Happy Birthday to AJ’s Cheryl.

    Tsk, tsk, Tychicus, such questions in the morning. Coffee is needed to get the thinker going. Here goes QoD: I feel the most lonely when I realized I am in sin. When you are sinning you can feel, however false, a connection to others, but when you see your sin that connection disappears because it was never really there. And God is far off, not because He went any where, but because I have pushed Him away. We are created for connection, connection to God and to others. Sin clogs that all up. Fortunately Jesus’ compassion and our confession are a great rooter system to open clean flow.

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  18. EYG, be very very careful. We were empty nesters in our forties. We are not anymore and it looks very likely we will never be so again.

    QOD: Though I live in a home with twelve other delightful people, I do become lonely. And it is not because I never see another adult other than church which can be sporadic with one child or another unable to attend due to illness or behavior. It is due to those days when I find myself trying to do it myself. I need God every hour. He is Who relieves my loneliness because He reminds me I am not in this alone. He reminds me of my friend who lives quite some distance away and is busy with her own challenges. He reminds me of my relatives who care about me but are physically a distance away. He reminds me of you people and those who pray regularly for us. And He reminds me that He is with me always, doing the work through me. And then loneliness goes away.

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  20. Cheryl says thank you.

    I’m taking her to the Whispering Canyon Cafe for dinner. Should be fun.

    I know it’s her birthday, but I feel like I’m the one who got the gift. She’s the best one I’ve ever gotten too.

    🙂

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  21. Happy Birthday Cheryl.

    Today is Daughter’s birthday, too. I don’t think she’d mind my telling you that she’s 50 now, but I mind that my baby is middle-aged (this is where I would add a smiley, but I know it would land in the wrong place).

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  22. Happy Friday, last day of November! Advent begins on Sunday.

    So my vacation week is almost over and while the inside of the house is pretty much done with decorating, I still haven’t put my outdoor lights up — I was going to do it yesterday, had it all planned. But the day was heavy with a thick fog and ongoing mist turning sometimes to light rain. It looked like we were living in Washington state.

    And while I’m sure the risk was minimal, I decided I didn’t want to go getting myself electrocuted while balancing on a ladder to plug in Christmas lights. I mean, really.

    It’s still rainy & very foggy/misty out there today. I’m taking off with a friend for the LA County fairgrounds (about 45 minutes inland) to go to the Christmas craft festival they have there every year.

    The Christmas lights have been rescheduled for Saturday morning.

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  24. I’m an extrovert. When I feel lonely I go looking for someone. 🙂

    I probably feel most lonely when I’ve had a disappointment, been rejected whether professionally or personally–and those usually hit harder when I’m holding on to Jesus with a leash, rather than walking hand-in-hand.

    The beginning of one of the most forlorn times in my life was the subject of today’s blog–though the events left me clinging to The Lord because I felt so shattered and grateful for his mercies at the same time:

    http://michelleule.com/

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  25. First lesson of living in the country, learned: If you leave your garage door open, some wild thing will come in and pee on your stuff

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  29. Like some others above, I tend to feel lonely when surrounded by people, but feeling no – or a broken – connection.

    ~~~

    Empty nest? What’s that?

    Months ago, Emily said, in answer to my question, that she was somewhat happy, but it was spoiled by the thought of “living with my parents” – as if that were some sort of failure. I encouraged her to think of it as “multi-generational living”.

    Yesterday, in talking about her plans for the foreseeable future, she told me that she had decided to embrace the concept of multi-generational living, & will probably be living with us for a very long time (as probably also will Chrissy). 🙂

    She loves gardening & yard work, things which you can’t do while living in an apartment, trying to provide for & raise your son on your own. And Forrest loves playing outside in the yard. We all want him to have t
    “his own” yard to play in.

    How do Lee & I feel about this? We are happy with it. We feel blessed & privileged to be able to provide a safe, happy home for our daughters, & for Forrest to grow up in.

    The drawbacks are lack of privacy (I long for a quiet place to relax, but don’t have one yet, nor do I know if I will have one in the foreseeable future), differing ideas on how to organize & keep the house, & the occasional “personality clash”. More adjustments to be made!

    But on the whole, I am happy to have my family around me, & we have some really nice times together. There’s a lot of laughter in this home.

    My wonderful hubby is pleased & willing to work hard to do the bulk of providing for us all. If he does buy the route he’s been considering, he will involve the girls in the work – one to accompany him on the route, the other to do the off-time work of “packing out” (making sure the store shelves are full of the product).

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  30. That sounds like a GREAT idea, involving the girls in a family business. Multi-generational can work; we shared the cooking on a schedule when my son and his family lived with us for nearly a year. My other daughter-in-law tells me, now, it was a straing on the living in daughter-in-law, but she never made me feel uncomfortable.

    We all acted like adults, however, except the toddler.

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  31. We have a very firm barrier that prevents any of the grown children from moving home. It is the eleven new children. I wonder why that is?

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  33. Chas, I like that “our Cheryl.”

    My hubby’s birthday is tomorrow. His parents are taking us out for breakfast, and I’m waiting to hear what he wants to do for the other meals.

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  35. In Chicago, I had lots of women co-workers who were single and in their thirties, forties, and fifties but living with their parents. It was basically a mutually agreeable setup, with the adult daughters paying something toward the household but having their own space in it, and eventually being there to be caregivers as their parents aged. In one case it was a single woman and her widowed mother, and the adult daughter brought in most of the income. As long as there’s enough space and enough privacy, it works well for many.

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  36. Several of you, as I recall, have mentioned that you have children with autism, Asperger’s, or other special needs. I want to alert you to an online interview series that starts next week, called the Pro-Active Development Interview Series. The series is sponsored by The Alliance for Education, Development and Empowerment, with a goal of “empowering parents and professionals with new understandings of noninvasive therapy options for children with challenges”.

    Speakers include a variety of professionals working with special needs children, for example RDI consultants (who work with children on the autism spectrum), speech-language pathologists, an occupational therapist, a chiropractor, and other professionals. There are also two speakers who are the parents of autistic children, one of the parents being a 17-year homeschooling veteran with a 23-year old autistic daughter.

    More information and a registration form are available here for those who are interested:

    http://www.pro-activedevelopment.com/

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  37. My husband and I have three brothers between us and at one time all of them had grown children or extra people in the house. Hubby’s brother and my younger brother both had married children and their children move back in. Older brother had a friend of one of his daughters get kicked out of her own home and move in with them. He and his wife didn’t mind. They said she was more help around the house then their own girls. Hubby’s brother still has a grown working son and a married daughter, her husband and child living with them. Now married daughter is expecting.

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  38. Mumsee, didn’t you adopt? BTW, it looks like when the day comes, (no one on the way yet) my Grandmommy name will be MumZ..pronounced Mumsee. I didn’t choose it, but it makes me think of you. It’s what my daughter started calling me when she went to college.

    There’s also a good chance I’ll be Grandmommy.

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  39. Oh yeah! That explains things…

    My daughter is the one who initiated mumsee as well. And the new children and daughter in law picked up on it as the easy solution to calling me something without feeling like they were betraying their bio moms. And, since my daughter made my account many many years ago, that is who I am even on here.

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  40. I still haven’t decided what my grandmommy name will be. I have to be careful because whatever this child calls me is what Baby Girls children will eventually call me. I have known of two grandmothers called Honey. I have a friend who called her grandmother Baba. I had wanted to be a Nana but I think I am still a little young to be Nana. I am working on it.
    I think it is much more important for me to decide what the actual grandfather is going to be called. His name is Paul so Papa works but my dad was Papa. Maybe he could just be Pop and I could be Poppy like a happy flower! Or I might could try to be Marmee????

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  42. I’m Grammy. Just like my mother and grandmothers before me . . . But Kim could choose some sort of cute name since she lacks this tradition. Poppy sounds good to me–though that’s what George H. W. Bush is called . . . . 🙂

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  45. Happy Birthday to Kay’s daughter!

    We’re hosting the Christmas gathering for extended family (my side) at our house on December 23, so I’m using the December days leading up to that to prepare for the celebration. There’s a lot to do; I’ll spare you most of the details, but, roughly, it goes something like this: small house, lots of stuff stored in the basement because we might need it someday and don’t want to have to pay for a replacement of something we used to have but got rid of because there wasn’t space for it, but we need the basement for entertaining because the upstairs alone is pretty crowded for 18 people, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera…

    All that to say, I will most likely be retreating into lurkville again, as there will be little time for reading and less time for commenting. I’ll try to catch the prayer thread, though, and will pray for the requests I see.

    You will all be in my thoughts. Have a great December, and I’ll see ya in a few weeks.

    🙂

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  46. 6Arrow, get rid of the clutter and trust God to provide if you ever need what you got rid of again. I have hauled and hauled and hauled to Goodwill and I haven’t needed anything I go rid of.

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  47. That’s the kind of straight talk I need, Kim. Thank you. (I think.) 😉 [Smiley belonged here]

    I have never needed anything I sent to Goodwill, either, but my husband has gotten rid of some things he later needed. Most of his stuff is in the garage, though, so I’ll just worry about the basement, and he can deal with the garage. Truthfully, though, we’re both sick of too much stuff, so maybe the purging won’t be as painful as I imagine.

    You make a good cheerleader!

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  48. I am Mimi to Forrest, & Lee is Papa. It is such a thrill the first time you hear your beloved grandchild say your name. 🙂

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  49. I never had any grandparents; they all died before I was born. But Mom was “Grandma” and that just sounds right to me.

    The real question, though, is what happens when the kids marry? They call us Dad and Cheryl. (I’m used to adults being called something other than just first name, but in this region that’s “appropriate.”) I’m really not sure I want to be a step-mother-in-law someday, so it would be good if any future sons-in-law could call us something else, but maybe that isn’t realistic to consider? Obviously any grandchildren would see me as a “real” grandma, not a “step,” since they’ll have never known anyone else, but that would sort of be true for any sons-in-law too, that they’ll only have heard of the girls’ mother, but won’t have met her.

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  50. The cat is unhappy in her cone. She keeps walking backwards, trying to get out of it I suppose.

    And Tess is giving her the business (more than usual) so I’ve had to lock the dogs in the kitchen.

    The cat now is giving me the evil eye.

    No one’s happy now.

    Oh, and after getting home tonight I immediately broke one of the gifts I bought at the Christmas craft festival today, a nice ceramic candle holder. Fell on the floor and went kaboom. Broken in 3 places. I’m trying to repair it with Gorilla Glue but it’s definitely mine now. Cracks and all. 😦

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